Smut Club

Well, hello all you beautiful people.

You know what time it is.

Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and

everyone in between.

Gather around. Get you something real

nice to sip on and comfy to slip on.

Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's

your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah.

Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club.

I'm Hannah.

And I'm Chelsea and this is the show

where we are two licensed professional

counselors and life coaches who like

daydrinking and reviewing romance novels

of varying caliber.

Nailed it.

Nailed it. We've almost 100 episodes in.

finally really solidifying our our

elevator pitch.

I really uh appreciate the dedication to

and I feel like each time we just like

change one word.

Yeah. Yeah.

Get a little tighter, a little better,

you know?

Yeah. Today felt good.

Good.

But also there are episodes where I'm

like we are almost 100 episodes in and

I'm still [ __ ] this [ __ ] up.

So today did feel I'm like oh we made

it. Y'all, that's how you know this

episode is about to be amazing.

Yeah, the energy is good. We've started

strong

vibing.

Yeah, there's no way it can get derailed

now. What book is it, by the way? I

know.

It sounds like you were setting me up

for a joke right there. There's no way

it can be derailed now. What book is it?

You know, it wasn't my intention, but I

did pause and go, I don't actually know

what we're reviewing today.

It is called The Alpha's Savior by Reese

Breeden.

Breeden. Braden.

Breeden.

Breeden.

Yeah.

Breeden out there. Okay. Is it reverse

heron?

No. No. But there was a um

a tweet the other day where the National

Park Service had posted a thing about

like um help needed for a breeding

specialist for black bears or something

like that and somebody

comment section I bet was incredible.

Yes. So, so one person responded and

they were like, "I'm begging you. Please

change the wording of this." And

somebody responded to that and was like,

"Shut up, hetero."

And I was like, "Oh, sweet Jesus." Like,

it was very good. It was very good. I

enjoyed it.

I was hoping that the comment was just

going to be like, "I'm begging you.

Please do not

just shut up.

Shut up, Hero.

Don't ruin this for the rest of us. And

then somebody else was like, "Get out of

my way straight."

I was like, "Wow,

it feels like the flag in at the college

and community."

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. E plurabus

anus.

Yes.

Yeah.

It's a butthole.

He kept not seeing it.

So, uh, my niece's

boyfriend just started taking classes at

the local college and him just like saw

him after his first day. Just happened

to be over at their house. I was like,

"How was your first day?" He's like,

"Everyone there was so weird." And I'm

like, "So, there's this show called

Community. It came out a long time ago,

but I really think it's going to

normalize experience."

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I was like, "Oh, it will give you

all of the validation and normalization

that you need."

Mhm. Mhm. From top to bottom.

Yes. Okay. Sorry. I recognize that I I'm

like, why am I always leading up on a

community?

I'm always derailing us with community,

which I encourage and appreciate. So,

um, this is a shifter

romance. Okay. Um, so Haley is our

female main character. What kind of

shifter?

Wolf.

I see. Okay. Listen, Suzanne. Right.

There's so many different like I'm like

you get like a red panda shifter.

You do. Yeah.

Also easier to say.

Yeah. Yeah. There was the raccoon dog

shifter.

The tanuki. Is that what that's called?

My husband would know. It's a Japanese

I starts with a t.

Sure.

I I feel relatively confident because my

I don't feel confident either way.

So, um fun fact, our podcast is produced

by Fight Entertainment.

It is.

Um and the logo for Fight Entertainment

is a Tanuki.

It is.

I do kind of want to say Tuzuki, but

when I say Tuzuki, that feels very

wrong. And I would bet

It sounds like a Greek dip

with a little feta on it. Yeah, you get

it.

Your tuzuki your

that you always have with lamb.

Oh man.

Okay. So, it's a wolf.

It's a Yes, it's a wolf shifter. And it

is not um shifters are not known in this

world, right?

So, they live in secret.

They live in secret and separate sort of

communities.

Okay.

Um but they're still part of their town.

They're just, you know, separate in a

lot of ways. So Haley is our female main

character and she's out for a jog and

she is strictly human. We learn here

that um she just moved to this town. She

kind of picked it at random.

She's just settling in all that kind of

stuff. So she's getting to know the town

by going for a jog, whatever. And she

sees like basically disaster it is

happening in front of her where a little

boy runs out in front of a car.

Oh.

And she immediately starts doing

calculations and she's like, I'm too far

away. Like this is about to be really

bad when this guy comes like barreling

out of nowhere and pushes the kid out of

the way. But he gets hit. M

and when he gets hit, he like rolls down

this embankment and she's like, "Oh

god." Like right past her. And so she

runs after him and sees that he's fallen

into the river. It's like, oh, horrible.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Real swift, right?

So, she's immediately like, I got to get

him out. Like, that's that's what I got

to do. I'm the closest one. And so she

jumps in and is able to get him out and

starts doing CPR until help arrives

immediately. Like when the paramedics

show up, another guy who is this person

who we learn is his name is Cooper is

the guy who got hit.

Okay.

Cooper's best friend Ethan shows up and

he's like freaking out. The paramedics

are like, "You're gonna have to follow

us." Like it's clearly he's really

really hurt. Like this is really bad.

And so as soon as they get him into the

ambulance, Haley collapses

because this is like

cold. It's getting into the colder

months, she just jumped into a river

and, you know, hauled a dude who's

probably twice her size. You know, she

like her like

the exhaustion, the adrenaline, the

Okay.

So she just basically falls out. And

listen, I'm would prefer it be that one.

And then she I'm like, "Oh no." Like

then I was like, "Oh, she fell out for

the logical reasons."

Yes. Yes. For like, "Oh my god." Yeah.

She like, "Holy [ __ ] this just

happened." Like crazy.

So the best friend essentially catches

her and is like, "I'm taking you to the

hospital." And then she blacks out. So

he follows the ambulance. She wakes up

in the hospital. Um the best friend is

there and he's like I just wanted to say

like you don't understand what you've

done for me, for my family, for our

community. Like

thank you so much for saving him. Like

if you ever need anything, we are going

to be there. Like every single one of

us, you just say the word.

And um Haley turns out got hypothermia

um and a couple of other you know like

exhaustion related things. So she's

getting treated

smaller lacerations if you will.

Yeah. Yeah. Just from the

the activity.

A lot of jostling.

A lot of jostling. That's it. Um and so

the as Ethan I forgot to mention this is

dual point of view which does matter at

some points. But as Ethan is like

earnestly like holding her hand like

thank you so much. She's like is he

hitting on me? Like what is happening?

He's thanking me too emphatically. Like

it feels

deeper than just a thank you.

A lot of eye contact. She's like,

"Good sir, I have hypothermia."

She's like, "Your hands are so warm."

Um she's like, "It's weird, but maybe

get a little closer. I'm freezing."

Yeah. Um but you know, she just is like,

"Hey, no worries. I just did what

you know um I'm glad he's going to be

okay cuz the best friend says like looks

like he's going to fully recover like

you got to blah blah blah.

So then we switch to Cooper's point of

view. So he wakes up in the hospital as

well. His sister is a doctor there and

so um she's checking on him

and Ethan comes in and Cooper

immediately loses his [ __ ] He's like,

"Why do you smell like my mate? Like,

you're not my mate, obviously. So, where

the [ __ ] is she?" And Ethan is like,

"Uh,

maybe simmer down." Like,

Ethan's like, "Good to see you alive,

man.

Happy happy to be here."

I was just thanking your mate

emphatically for saving your life.

He's like, "Didn't know she was your

mate. And even if I did know that, I

figure you wouldn't want me to let her

fall and get a concussion because you

don't want me to touch her.

You're welcome for bringing your mate to

the hospital to get checked out and make

sure she's fine.

So Cooper's got like bruised ribs and a

broken leg and all this stuff, but he's

like, I got to go. She's here in the

hospital. She's hurt. Like I got to get

up. I got to go to her. Right. So while

they live in secret, their mates can

be human and not actually shifters as

well.

Yes. So we learn in later books cuz this

is a series and it follows um Haley and

her sisters um and then one of well the

sister Cooper's sister Ila uh she gets a

book too. Um and so does Ethan but um

I mean Ethan deserves a book after all

he's done already. He's very precious

actually. So,

um,

yes, but we find out later in the lore

that like you have to have some shifter

DNA in there somewhere, but it

trace amounts of shifter.

Yeah. It could be generations and

generations back.

Someone had a shifter inside them

generations ago and

and so do you just a smaller one?

I don't know. just a smaller shifter.

Oh, Cooper might take offense to that.

Oh no.

Um,

but Ethan basically is the voice of

reason throughout all of this. And he's

like, "Hey man, she thinks you're human.

Your mate is human." And Cooper's like,

"What? My what?" Like,

cuz it's very, very rare. It's possible,

but it's very rare. So, um,

okay. He's like, "Oh." And so Ethan's

like, "If you come hopping into her

hospital room after she just watched you

get hit by a truck and almost drown,

she's going to freak out." Like, just to

be clear, cuz he will heal all of this

likely within a week

um at most. And so he's already starting

to feel better. I think we could deem

Ethan's insight and judgment as intact.

Yes. Yeah.

As good.

Yes. Which is why Ethan is the beta and

Cooper is the alpha of this pack.

I was I mean I was assuming that well

the you don't know what you've done for

me and my community. I'm like okay. So

who is Cooper to their community? He's

clearly like

who is he going to be? He's going to be

important somewhere. So that makes

sense. He's the alpha of their pack.

Yeah, that is a important role.

Yes. And so, um,

Cooper is like, "Fine, I guess, but I

need you to watch her." He's like,

"That's basically your only job right

now is to make sure that she's safe."

Because there's a lot of um like

political tension right now within the

pack and like with other packs in the

area. And he's like, "If anybody were to

find out that like my mate is human and

unbonded and unprotected, like that

could be really bad." So like he's

freaking out, which I just like I love

how quickly these books shift cuz I'm

like, "Bro, 2 hours ago you didn't even

know she was alive. She was as safe as

could be and just like living her life."

And now you're like, "I know of her

existence. She's not safe anymore." And

I'm like, "Wait, what?

What?

Nothing. Nothing has changed.

No. No. Just the fact that you know, but

maybe if you shut up about it, nobody

else will know,

right? And like maybe if only like you

and Ethan and Ila keep this under wraps.

Like

Yeah. Everybody shut up. Like

Yeah. It's not a huge safety concern.

No. Um and actually, so I forgot to

mention, which is not like super

important for the story, but I thought

was interesting. the his family

basically owns like a huge construction

business that is extremely

well off.

Okay.

And so they have donated so much money

to the local hospital that they

basically have their own wing that's

shifter only, which is why Leila works

there.

It's very rare they actually need

services like that, but they can't have

regular human doctors working on them

when it does happen. Um, you know, I

appreciate that detail cuz I feel like

that is something that a lot of books

would just like overlook and you're

like, "Wait, what? How?" And they just

don't notice and you're like, "Oh, no.

This makes more sense." They have their

own wing.

Yeah. They're all shifters or mates of

shifters or whatever. So, um, all the

doctors and nurses in that part of the

hospital. Um, so Haley, we're back to

her. She gets released from the hospital

and she is overwhelmed by the response

from the town. She's literally like the

town hero. Like she goes to get

something to eat. People are picking up

the bill. She tries to go to work. Her

boss tells her, "No, absolutely not. You

get as much time off as you need. You

come back whenever you want." Like,

so did she know who Cooper was before

any of this? no idea cuz she literally

like just moved here. Um,

valid.

And so she's like, "All right." Like um

and um so she sees Ethan again, like

he's bringing her some of her belongings

and stuff that were left by the river

and things like that, checking on her.

Um, and he seems pretty nice, but

overall she's just like shaken and is

like, "Yeah, who did I save?" Because

people are losing their ever loving

minds. Like he's he's it's just a dude.

Yeah. You're like,

it was just the kind human thing to do.

I didn't know I was like saving someone

important. I just like saw

a tragedy and did what I could to help

in that moment. And now my tab is

getting picked up.

Yeah. She's like, "Is he the mayor?"

Like, "What is happening right now?" Um,

and so, um,

I mean, kind of if you think about it,

a little bit. Yeah. Um, and so Cooper is

having a really difficult time like

being away from her because like the

pull is so strong now that he knows that

she is out there. Like it's really

difficult

her at some level.

Yeah. So, I guess when she when he first

was revived by the river, I guess he

smelled her, but like he really smelled

her on Ethan,

which would also make sense because her

mouth was on him like she was performing

CPR. So,

yeah,

I guess that that could

Mhm.

awakened the pull of a mating bond.

There it is. Yes. Yes. Um,

so, um, he decides, his dad is very

supportive. They're a very tight-knit

family. And so after his dad kind of

talks him down, he decides he's going to

shift and go sleep outside her house. Um

because he's like, "I know I can't be

with her, but I can be like near her."

Um and so

um he is like formulating a plan to take

it slow. How do I approach her? What

does that look like? How do I tell her

that I'm a shifter? like he's like

really planning the next 3 to 5 years

for them and she is like unaware.

She's like, "Wow, I really saved someone

important." Huh.

Yeah, cool. I got an extra day off of

work. That's nice. like

um and so

um he again he's like it is way too

dangerous for her like for us to

announce that I found my mate until we

have like she's been marked and bonded

and all that stuff.

Okay.

Um and also his mom is going to go

insane like

that she's human

or just in general. just in general,

he's like she's immediately going to as

soon as she knows she exists, she's

going to start like fitting her for a

dress and like asking when we're going

to have babies and stuff. Um, and

actually my next note is no one seems

concerned that she's human. So in this

community like

faded mates is above all else. like it's

possible to have like a chosen mate,

okay?

But um for the most part, like 100%

completely, it doesn't matter where they

come from or what they look like. If

they are your faded mate, they will be

accepted by the community. Um

and so yeah, he that's convenient.

I always find books interest like

because I remember I was talking about a

book I don't think we ever reviewed it

but talking about one off pod

a while back where like they were made

like they like weren't attracted to

their mate and like didn't even like end

up with their like

I don't know cuz so many of the books

are like well we're made and like their

scent is so incredible and I'm like

yeah like what happens if you're like

[ __ ] really them

yeah so that does happen in some of the

later books and that's part of why I

really enjoyed the series overall. Even

though there were a couple of things I

wasn't a big fan of,

it was just really interesting. She did

like a rejected mate and like um a mate

who was like really this guy like kind

of energy. Um and so yeah, I just

enjoyed like the range that we got from

it, you know?

Well, cuz I also feel like a lot of them

will do like the

we they were like fighting their

attraction and then like something

Yeah. switches or flips and they like

suddenly realize it was their faded mate

all along, but like something was like

blocking them or whatever,

blocking the channel for them to like

have that. And I'm like, oh, I'm just

always curious how different authors

choose choose to write their own version

of it.

And so I do like this one where it's

like, hey,

they're faded.

Yeah,

that does

that's it. Yeah, we're going to work

through a lot for a faded mate. Yes.

Yeah. And so, um, that's like each one

of these books in the series is like a

different

like major trope, but I like her frame

on all of them. They're really

interesting. Um, but

and remind me of the author's name.

Reese Breeden.

Breeden. Yep.

Yep. That's the one. Don't know how I

forgot. So the next morning, Haley goes

to step outside and she sees this

massive black wolf and um she's like,

"It's really pretty.

I should be much more frightened than I

am, but like she's like, "It's not

posturing at me. It's like several

hundred feet away." Like,

yeah, it it doesn't seem to currently be

posing a threat to me, but I should also

probably

be leerier. Yeah.

Lerier is more leery.

Oh, okay. Going to look that one up

later.

Be more hesitant.

Cautious. Be more cautious than I

currently am.

Um, so

I know how to use those grammatically.

Trepidacious.

Um,

so she just writes the wolf off. She's

like, "Oh, I didn't know there were

wolves in the area. I will be more

mindful on my runs." And goes to the

hardware store. So the house that she

bought is a big Victorian and she her

dream is to turn it into a B&B.

So she works as an accountant.

Okay.

Um but that's the dream is to start her

own B&B. So the place needs a lot of

work and so she's, you know, doing her

thing in the hardware store and Ethan

shows up. Um and he gets very weird.

He's like a bed and breakfast like

strangers in your house. Oh. Oh, he's

like, "Okay." She's like, "This dude is

[ __ ] weird." Like, she's like, "Yeah,

it's a normal business model. I didn't

invent it."

The the bed part of a bed and breakfast

is pretty important. It's the first bee,

bud. Like, you know, she's like,

if they don't sleep there and they just

come for breakfast, it's just a

restaurant.

It's just Jay Christopher's at that

point, you know?

It's just a restaurant I sleep in. H

just a J Christopher.

That was a deep cut. That was deep. All

right. But for those it lands with,

it'll land so well.

Yeah. Yeah. Which I feel like is the

secondary tagline of our entire podcast.

Maybe our entire being.

Yes. That too. Not even not even podcast

related

that too. Yeah. Um Yeah. So Ethan, she's

still like, "What is this dude's deal?

This is so weird, bro."

And she's like leaving and driving away.

He like helps her load her car and stuff

and she's like almost home and she's

like, "Ethan didn't buy anything.

What is happening?" She's like, "I don't

like it. I don't like it." But then

I Okay, I appreciate that she has

situational awareness.

Yes. Yeah. She's like again, is he

hitting on me? Was the whole like we are

forever in your debt thing like a real

life thing? Do these people believe?

I just thought he was grateful. I didn't

think that meant he was going to follow

me around to different stores and help

me load my car.

I didn't know he was going to be my

personal assistant. Um, so then a few

days later when um, Haley is back at

work, Cooper's mom shows up at her

office um, and is absolutely

she's just at like a local accounting

firm in town.

Yeah. Um, so

mom is just absolutely like gushing with

gratitude like, "Let me take you out to

coffee. Like, let me do this." And Haley

is like, "No, thank you." She's like,

"Wow." But the mom is like, "Well, I

know you can't just leave work right

now. I understand that." But it's

actually Cooper's sister's birthday

coming up. You're coming to that. You're

gonna come to the party. You're

So, does mom already know it's his mate?

No. Mom is just

This is just her energy.

She's just so much. Yeah. Throughout all

of it, she's so much. Um, and so, but

Haley also, she hasn't really made any

friends yet. And so, she's like, "All

right, like I'll go to this this woman's

birthday." like that sounds nice, you

know, um

you know, going to the party. He's like,

"So, how do you know the birthday girl?"

Okay, so like a couple weeks ago, her

brother almost died. I'm the one who

saved him.

Yeah. Do you read the paper about how he

fell in the river? That was me that got

him out of the river.

When it said someone did CPR, I was the

someone.

Yes. Um, and she's like, people are

sending her flowers and like it's really

a lot and she's really like does not

understand what's happening. But

then the sheriff shows up. His name is

Marcus. They are friends. Haley and

Marcus are friends. Okay. And the mom

kind of gets a little like side eye

because um Marcus like brings her a

coffee. He's like, "I was checking on

you. How are you doing?" And the mom

immediately is like, "Oh, obviously."

Like I see.

a little something something.

Yeah. So, when she was inviting her, it

was just out of gratitude. It wasn't

even to like set her up with Cooper. It

was just like, "You don't know people.

You're new."

Yeah.

We love you so much for what you did.

Come to this birthday.

Yeah.

And now she's like, "Okay." So, her and

the sheriff,

she's like, "I do like Marcus. He's a

very handsome man." Like, as soon as he

leaves and Haley is like, "Okay."

Um,

so it's now 3 weeks after the accident

and Cooper is finally going to go meet

Haley. He's got like a a boot on or a

cast or whatever on one leg, but he's

like, "She'll never know." Oh, like she

won't understand. Like, I'll just tell

her it wasn't as bad as everybody

thought. Like, Mhm.

3 weeks later, your neardeath accident,

you're down to a boot.

Yeah. All your internal bleeding and

organs are just no problem.

I mean, here's the thing. It sounds

silly, but I also know you recently had

emergency gallbladder surgery. And when

you showed up at my house, like within a

couple weeks, I was like, she looks far

perkier than I anticipated. So, maybe

Cooper's on to something.

Maybe. So, maybe so. Um,

so glad you're well.

Thank you. Me, too. Um, I still do have

random twinges and it's like the the

final sutures are going away, but it's

really only when I'm laying down at

night if I like move certain ways. So, I

kind of forget. Yeah. Right. Exactly.

I'm like,

you literally text me that you were

having like emergency surgery and then

the next time I saw you, I'm like, "Oh,

did do I have a misunderstanding of what

emergency surgery entails?" because

Hannah's just

back up and moving.

Yeah. Yeah. The first week was rough,

but after that it was really fine.

Um, and oh my gosh. So, because I no

longer have a gallbladder, as we have

discussed, certain foods don't sit very

well anymore. And Matt, I got really

upset one day cuz I can't drink coffee

anymore. And the next day, Matt came

home and he was like, "I did some

research and I found you these

supplements at a shop in town. They are

gallbladder enzymes that are supposed to

help you so that you and so he keeps

asking me he's like, "Have you tried the

coffee yet?" And I'm like, "Still no

because I haven't had a day where I'm

just at home."

You're like, "I'm not going to chance it

on a work day."

Right. I'm not going to chance it before

I go to Chelsea's.

Also, have you tried mushroom coffee?

No, but I've been doing a lot of reading

about it. Yeah. Yeah, I may try that

out. I also guess like not consuming

lots of caffeine is probably better for

all of us instead of finding other

alternatives.

Yeah.

Through which we can mainline it.

Yeah. Yeah. Um I I am trying all

different sorts of things right now. But

that was just so cute that he was like

so excited to to bring that home.

Your husband is the most precious.

I know. He is the purest person.

I know.

Yeah. cuz he text me for the first like

he and I had never Why would we be

texting, right? We've literally never

actually been in the same room, right?

Uh but when you were having your

surgery, it was funny cuz you told me he

would be texting me at some point and I

was like, "Okay, sure." Like I know

you're having surgery.

Okay. Like I appreciate. Well, I was

like, if something's really bad and I

can't go back to work and I can't text,

but the way in which she text, she's

like, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long

to reach out. And in my head, I'm like,

what?

Matt, nothing. There was nothing to

reach out about sooner, my dear. Like,

oh my gosh, why are you apologizing?

Your wife is having emergencies.

I probably didn't communicate very well

about like that. It really wasn't that

deep. Like, it was really only if things

got bad. I Because I was pretty high.

You were on a lot of pain meds.

Oh god. Cooper did not get to have that

experience of being super high on lots

of drugs. He's really fine.

Well, I bet they metabolize pain meds

differently anyway.

They probably do.

Probably burn through them too fast.

Mhm. Like I feel like

I forget what Shifter series I was

reading, but they were like had to have

like special alcohol cuz they like

couldn't get drunk off normal stuff cuz

their body processed it too quickly.

Mhm. The Honey Badger Shifter series

that I read.

Forgot about that one. Um, the honey

badger shifters have to do special uh

like vodka that's laced with snake venom

because their metabolisms are so crazy

as honey badgers that they just process

alcohol like nothing and most poisons

generally like nothing. And so they have

to lace their alcohol.

Snake venom poison

literally.

Um, but anyway,

and isn't that a great metaphor for

Oh god.

I don't want any more metaphors.

I just want a silly shifter thing. I

just want to have a glass of wine and

not feel guilt about it.

Yes. Um but um so he decides he's going

to go to her house because she's

renovating the whole thing, right? So

she's going to need contractors. He is

part of a contracting company.

Oh, hey, it just happened to hear you

might need a contractor. Let's see. Well

played. And so, um, he is like, as soon

as he starts talking to her, it's a

little bit golden retrievery where

everything she does is like the most

incredible thing he's ever seen. He's

like, "Oh my god, that little hair

falling out of her ponytail is the most

incredible thing that I've ever

experienced." Um, I wish I could just

tuck it back behind her ear for her, but

it's too soon.

Yeah. He's like, "Don't be weird. Put

your hands in your pockets. Don't touch

her."

Yes. Probably. That probably was a line

in there. Um, but he is like getting to

know her a little bit better, learns

that, you know, she's single, um, that

she's new to town. And for some reason,

as he's like going to leave, cuz they

agree like he's going to be by each day

to work on the house and he's cutting

her and deal, whatever. He like goes to

leave and then he's like, "I can't do

it." And turns around and just like

kisses the [ __ ] out of her. And then

he's like, "Okay, I'll see you

tomorrow." And like gets in his truck

and goes home.

So then

she's like, "People show their

appreciation in such weird ways in this

town."

She's like, "Seems like there's some

cultural differences, you know?" So the

next day

also where did she like where is this?

So it's not clear. It seems like maybe

the Northwest like it's got sort of like

Pacific Northwest.

Yeah.

Did she move from somewhere in the

Northwest? Do we know why she up and

relocated?

Not yet.

Okay.

So, she moved like clear across the

country.

Um but

she didn't just move like 30 minutes

over from the next town. She literally

left everything behind. And um that's

part of I skated over when the sheriff

brings her coffee. She's like, "Oh, his

mom thinks we're together. She doesn't

realize like there's more going on

here." Like,

yeah,

it it could be bad that my name was in

the paper cuz they did like a story on

her while she was in the hospital. But

like we don't have we don't know

anything else except she moved. just

there's some like light hinting at like

the reason she moved across the country

was not just for a change of scenery.

Yes. And she doesn't like that her name

was in the paper, but what is she going

to do about it? You know, um

let Cooper die next time then.

Yeah. Right. Just stand by. There were

other people there. Um

someone else would have given him CPR

eventually.

It's the bystander effect. Everybody

look it up. It's not real. Actually, all

subsequent research indicated it's not

real.

I like that you mentioned it and then

immediately disputed it.

I mentioned it and then I was like, "Oh

no, I'm perpetuating the lies."

Anyway,

way to hold yourself accountable,

Hannah.

Thank you very much. We practice

rigorous honesty. So the next day he

shows up to her office to take her out

to lunch so they can continue to discuss

like the plans for the house and they

talk about siblings. Haley, so Cooper

has two brothers and a sister.

Okay.

Um he is the second oldest.

Oh,

yep. And his older brother has been kind

of gone. like he just sort of up and

left and we it's not explained here yet,

but he's been gone for like 2 years. Um,

so

did we review another shifter romance

where they were like twin brothers and

then the one was pretending to be the

other one that whole time?

Yeah, I think we did.

The name is escaping me.

Yeah. Well, cuz the one Oh, I did it,

too.

You did? Yeah.

Son of a bulldog.

It's gone. It'll come to me at like two

son of a bulldog.

Thank you.

I was recently thinking about now that

my son parrots what I say a little more

readily.

I was like what creative swear words can

I start

utilizing? There's always Matt's

favorite which is pickles been uh odd

doodles has. That's very good. That's

very good.

Well, a song came up on uh Spotify and I

forget the artist name. I should look it

up and remember it. But the whole thing

is like the doodles I'd undo.

Yes.

One for the dent in the rental car, one

for the joke that I took too far. Like

the doodles I'd undo is the whole

That's so cute. It really is.

I really like that. I really like that.

But it is inspired my like ah doodles.

It works so well with a

2-year-old.

Um, so I So all of Cooper's siblings and

all of Haley's siblings get a book. Um,

so Cooper is explaining his people. Um,

and then Haley shares that she actually

has an identical twin sister. She has

another sister and a brother, but she

kind of throws out there that, um, she

hasn't really seen them in a while. Um,

but she's really hoping she's going to

be able to see them soon. And like

Cooper can tell she's getting a little

bit like down and so he's like something

else.

There's more at play here.

Yeah. But he kind of brushes it aside

cuz he's just like so happy to be in her

presence. So Cooper um shows to her

house daily before the crew and the two

of them have coffee. It's very cute.

He's like sticking to his plan to take

it slow even though he randomly started

making out with her before this. Um,

got to let her know you're interested.

Right.

Right. Right. Right. And then you got to

Yeah. You can't No.

And then you got to back off after that.

Yeah. Just to send the most mixed

signals so she has no idea what's going

on.

Yeah. I mean, I do feel like

walking it back to morning coffee.

Yeah.

I feel like we like start with morning

coffee then grow

Yeah.

to the the kids.

Ideally. Ideally. So, it's been now a

couple of weeks of this.

Oh.

And so, then he tells her that um he'd

like to make her dinner

that night.

And so, it's a very cute little meal

together. And he tells her or no, he's

been he's thinking about like he has no

love life at all. Like he is like purely

virginal because he has been waiting for

his mate. He didn't ever want to bring

in a mate. and then have them have to

deal with like pack members that he'd

slept with and stuff like that.

Did he write I kiss dating goodbye?

No.

He could have though. Probably.

Yeah.

Unrelated, but did you RIP James Dobson?

He just passed recently.

He did. I know

the memes have been

superb,

joyful,

horrible, and hilarious.

Yeah. Yeah.

The contempt felt around the world for

that man could like power a town.

Like if you could harness it, Allah

screams or laughter in Monsters, Inc.

Yeah. Everyone started going, "Take the

shackles off.

Yes.

And if you're wondering what we're

referencing, we did also recently have a

Veggie Tales SM.

We did. We did.

Yeah.

We're really happy you're all here with

us.

Yeah. Thanks for going on this journey

with us.

It's been a good one, I think. Um so um

after dinner they do wind up having kind

of a a steamy make out session but

um he's like hey I need to leave before

I do something ungentlemanly like he

starts to pull back

and she's like who says I want you to be

a gentleman or whatever. So then

fingering to completion

like or spiritually she said something

of that nature and got fingered to

completion.

Yeah. Um lots of dirty talk kind of like

domish like more top energy I guess. Um

big focus on consent like tell me what

you want, tell me where you want it,

like say it out loud, that kind of

stuff. Um

and Haley goes to return the favor. Um,

but Cooper's like, "No, we need to

wait." And she's like,

"Dudes are so weird in this town.

What are you people doing?" I am

literally offering I was listening to a

podcast and they were talking about um

like the decrease in sexual activity in

Gen Z or something like that. And

somebody one of the hosts was like,

"Yeah." So they were like, "They're not

having sex." But they didn't specify

what kind of sex. Like, you know, a

Yankee and a mouth job. They like that's

those weren't options. And the co-host

was like, "I'm sorry. A what and a who?

Like what? What are you saying?"

And I thought of you. Thank you. I'm

honored to be thought of in that moment.

That is a hilarious

way to wear that. Also a fascinating

trend that I didn't know about.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And but I do think

that is also a valid question of like

what?

Yeah. Well, not even what changed, what

constitutes his sex in that study

because yes, a Yankee and a mouth job,

wasn't it?

Yeah, a mouth job.

That does unfortunately feel like how I

would refer to it.

And now I will moving forward.

I love that we have new vernacular. Um,

but no, that is a fascinating

it is really interesting.

Why Why is it decreasing? Is that what

they were? So, they were kind of talking

about that, but they were also talking

about the flaws in the studies. And so,

a lot of what's been reported has maybe

been a little bit skewed and maybe a

little bit like fear-mongery and like,

you know, what's the real information?

And also, does it matter? Like, if they

don't want to have sex and they aren't

having sex, why are we worried about it?

Probably because of the declining birth

rate,

which is a separate issue.

Yeah. I'm

also the same issue.

Oh my god.

Yeah. Well, and also like and I think we

like I grew up with a girl who straight

up was like, "Yeah,

my boyfriend and I have anal all the

time, but like I'm still a virgin."

Right? And I'm like, "Okay, well, so if

that's how we're we're quantifying that

score and they ask you in the survey,

there is going to be a decrease in sex

reported."

Mhm.

Even though you're telling me that went

down in the Ross dressing room,

but sex for Jesus in the Ross dressing

room.

It's for the Lord.

This is has nothing to do with the Lord.

Cooper. Cooper is trying to keep control

of himself.

But also, stop.

You just fingered her to completion.

I know,

bro. You want that [ __ ]

Let her blow you.

So,

why am I trying to convince him?

Well, she's also trying to convince him

throughout the book, which gets tedious

at some point, but

So, this isn't like a one-off. This is

just like his inner

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

So, the next morning, Cooper picks up

Haley for a hike. Um, and um, Haley,

we're in her point of view now, and

she's trying not to get too attached.

She's like,

she should get attached. I mean, she

doesn't she doesn't know that yet, but

like I get her hesitency. And I'm like,

girl,

she's like, I this can just be a s like

a a summer fling or whatever. I forgot

it's cold outside. Um,

well, they did move to the north.

They did. Um, and so she is, um, you

know, trying to be cool and everything.

Um, but he's very sweet and very

attentive. He's very gentle with her.

And, you know, they talk about work and

she actually realizes she's doing some

work for Cooper's dad, like for their

business.

Um, and they're going to go like on a

work conference, and turns out like

Cooper is also on that conference. It's

like a big deal. Um, and um, Haley is

like starting to feel a little bit like

an idiot because she is so into him and

he keeps like putting the brakes on

things and so she's like, I really need

to temper myself here.

Well, it's such mixed signals even

though like I don't

I don't believe Cooper understands that

he's giving

mixed energy.

No, he doesn't.

He like thinks he's being like honorable

and respectful and like and keeping her

safe so people won't know that like you

know make her a target or whatever. Um

and they have a nice just a really nice

time. Um and then um this is the first

introduction of the nickname princess

that we have throughout. Um

okay. It feels like it took a while.

It did take a while. It was a slow build

for that. And then Haley and Ila, the

sister, um later on they're bonding. Um,

they go for a night out and Haley

reveals to Ila that she's been hiding

from a violent stalker ex, which is why

she moved across the country and even

her family doesn't know where she is.

Um, and so she's like, you know, please

don't tell Cooper. Like, I don't want to

scare him off or freak him out. Like,

I'll tell him in my own time. This

doesn't feel like something that Ila

should keep a secret. It's not. But

that's why the sheriff checks on her all

the time because the first thing she did

when she got to town was introduce

herself to the sheriff and tell him the

situation. So, she's more thinking from

like a romantic standpoint. They've

known each other for like a couple of

months maybe. They're like

just starting to get to know each other

romantically. She's not even sure if

he's actually invested. He's only

digitally penetrated her at this point.

Not digital penetration.

Digital digital get.

Um so, um Cooper is anxious to get to

the bar because he's going to crash

girls night because of course he is. Um

but he has to pick up his big brother

from the airport. Um

Oh, who's coming back?

Yes, he's coming back. So, the brother

has been traveling because his mate

rejected him.

um and is essentially that's essentially

unheard of like in their

Yeah.

species like that does not happen. And

so he declined alpha and left and nobody

really knows where he's been or what

he's been doing all that time.

Just a rambling man.

Yeah, literally. Um so all the siblings

and Ethan are at the bar. Um, Cooper is

just enjoying spending time with her

with his family. It just feels really

nice. Um, and then Cooper gets hit on by

a female pack member um, who's very

obviously trying to put the moves on him

while he's like got his arm like behind

Haley's chair. He's not demonstrating

that they're together.

He's not like claiming her, but he's

also not

distancing himself. But I, you know, I

had that thought earlier when you

mentioned like he has been single and

hasn't really engaged in dating. I'm

like, "Oh." And then he his brother

takes off, he becomes the alpha.

I imagine a lot of uh women in that pack

would love to be the pack alpha. Like

they're they're really trying. A lot of

them are. So um the girl kind of

realizes that he seems to be focused on

Haley and dumps her drink on her. Um and

is like

that's shitty. Like while Haley's on her

way to the bar, she like runs into her

and like dumps her drink and is

basically like, you know, you mean

nothing to a man like Cooper. Like you

could never satisfy him. Blah blah blah.

Um and Haley was like, okay, so we're

just having fun then. I'm still winning

that. So thank you.

Yeah, that's always like such an

interesting

Yeah. dynamic that I feel like happens

in books more than I'm like does this

actually happen in the real world?

Not that I've ever experienced.

I'm also like you aren't like

Yeah. Okay. So, you'll never satisfy a

man like that. But like he's clearly

sitting with his arm around your chair.

Like

Yeah.

Does he know you'll never satisfy him

like that?

Yeah.

Yeah. But also like

it makes me think of um I just watched

some something maybe on Tik Tok recently

when this woman got like she was really

upset about some situation and then she

went I can't believe this [ __ ] out here

got me defending a man

and I was like

okay all right I very much enjoyed that

the psychiatrist I fell in love with my

psychiatrist. Yeah.

Well, and once again, we set up like as

soon as it started sh I fell in love

with my psychiatrist. I was like, "This

is not on your psychiatrist." I can

already tell from where we're starting,

this is a a a heavy sprinkling of

cluster B.

Yeah. It was bizarre to watch cuz she'd

be like, "His boundaries were

immaculate." And that's why

that's how he was showing me.

Yeah.

What?

Oh, yeah. the delusional gymnastics that

that were being done. But yes, the y'all

got me got me out here defending a man.

Really? Yeah. This poor psych

psychiatrist,

not a psychologist, psychiatrist. I'm

like, this man is just trying to see his

patients.

He's like, I literally am just trying to

give you aderall. Get out of my face.

What is happening?

Oh.

So,

um, that whole thing happens and Haley

immediately like is over it and just is

moving on, dancing, having a good time,

but the sheriff is there and Cooper gets

weird vibes because the sheriff seems to

be watching Haley. Um, and so he goes

over and he's like, "Um, are you into

her? Are you guys together?" Whatever.

So, everyone is posturing at this bar.

Yes. Yes. And Marcus is like, "No, she

needs friends, Cooper. Like, she's been

through a lot. Maybe pull back. Like,

you need to chill out."

Um, and he was also like, "By the way, I

can smell the mates on you. Like, you

need to be honest with her, like

straight up." Um cuz the sheriff is a

bear shifter and so his sense of smell

is a lot stronger and he's not part of

the pack which is why he feels free to

speak to the alpha that way. Um

so um he like Marcus keeps saying like

she needs someone right now like you

need to just show up for her like quit

doing this weird thing whatever you're

doing. And Cooper is like what is he

talking about? Like I don't

It's almost like she lived a whole life

before she showed up in your city a

couple months ago, my dude.

She didn't just materialize to give me

CPR specifically

like some kind of lame water nymph that

like sprung from the water when he

jumped in it.

Staying alive.

That one is the right.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, so then they wind up making out a

little in the bar like hallway,

bathroom, like away from everybody, but

it's clear everybody knows what they

did. Like because most of the people in

the bar are shifters, like they can

smell the arousal on them and them all

over each other. Um,

and

yeah, like it is a little like, "Hey,

Cooper, what do you think you're doing

here?" He really thinks he's doing a lot

and he's doing the most irritating

option. Um, but he really believes he's

keeping her safe. Like that's really

what he thinks he's doing, which doesn't

really track, but in his mind, that's

what it is. So, a few days later, like

things are continuing to move. Um, and

Cooper realizes like he needs to tell

her about the shifter thing before his

sister's birthday because they usually

go on a big pack run, like after events

like that.

Um, but um, she comes over, they have

dinner, um, and they wind up banging and

cuz he initially was like, I can't have

sex with her until I tell her the truth

or whatever. Um, I mean, of all of the

moral boundaries he has like imposed on

himself, that one was actually probably

a solid one.

Yeah, that one was probably the one to

keep because then again, there's a big

emphasis on consent and all that good

stuff. But then he's like, um, oh damn,

I don't have a condom or whatever. And

she's like, you don't need one. No

condoms, just trust. Obviously, she

doesn't say that. I added that, but my

tone remained the same. So, I realize

that could have been confusing, but

um I was just like, "So, you're going to

raw dog her?"

But, okay. All right. She's like, "I

have an IUD or whatever." Um, and so

they have an amazing time and then

Cooper confesses that he was a virgin.

Um, and Haley is like, "Um,

you don't have to lie about it." Like,

You found my [ __ ] with surprising ease.

You know, for someone who's a virgin,

she thinks he's like Isa Fisher and

Wedding Crashers. When she's like, "No,

guys just think it's hot when you say

that. I'm definitely not a virgin." I'm

like, "Wait, she's just telling every

guy you're my first

nightmare. Nightmare fuel." Oh my god.

Um and so, um Haley, um asks to stay the

night. She realizes like they're kind of

moving too fast, but she's just kind of

in it now. And she doesn't understand.

She feels this like pulling connection

to him and she's like something is

there's something else happening here,

but like I really don't want to leave

him. Um so Cooper is worried that um

they've gone too fast, blah blah blah.

Um Haley wakes him up with a BJ and he's

less worried about it. Um,

so, um,

that'll solve a lot of worries in life.

It will, won't it? Yeah. The the old

surprise BJ.

So, Cooper is, um, like really actually

into her as a person. Um, but she he's

worried about like how everything is

going to shake out because I just need

them to like talk to each other at this

point.

So, I'm trying to skate over half of

this stuff. So, um,

please don't skate on on my account.

No, that's how I felt when I was reading

it.

Like, there came a point when I was

like, "This book is 100 pages too long."

Like,

oh my god.

You know,

so I was just reading another Kristen

Ashley book that I opened it and I was

like, "This [ __ ] is 678 pages." I made

it 400 pages in and was like, "I'm out."

I know I have 278

pages left.

I'll just last chapter it. I understand

where this book is go. Like, we didn't

have all the information. Oh my gosh,

take 200 pages out and I would still

understand it. Why is this happening?

Yeah. Yeah. Um, but so big plot point is

that Haley figures out the deal she was

working on for Cooper's dad for the

accounting thing is actually bogus. That

the sale was um basically they knew the

building was not up to code and

basically was going to burn down at any

moment, which is why they were trying to

sell it. And Haley caught it. Um,

wait. So Haley caught Cooper's dad

trying to

No, the dad was going to buy

Oh, they were the ones buying it, not

selling it. Okay, sorry.

Yeah. Um, and so as soon as she realizes

it, she drives straight to the pack

house, which she thinks is like the

overnight like bunks for the

construction crews who like sometimes

work long hours. They just let the guys

stay there if they need to. Um,

you know, if that's the narrative she

wanted to fill in, I get how

cuz why would you think it's a wolf

shifter?

Yeah, sure. It's bunkousing for all the

construction workers.

She's like, is this a weird cult? Like

when she goes through the gate and she's

like, I don't have time to deal with

that right now. Um, so she goes to meet

with the dad, he's super impressed. Um,

and he's like, I'm going to have this

out with him at that conference we're

going to go to. um and offers her a job

with the family business. He's like, "I

really think you'd be an incredible

addition to the team." So, the dad knows

that Haley is his mate, is Cooper's

mate.

Um but nobody else in the family knows

except Ethan and Ila.

So, um on the way out, she hears

Cooper's voice and so she like follows

his voice down the hall cuz she knows

his office is there. Um but she stops

because she hears her name. So she like

waits.

So Cooper's younger brother is trying to

fish for information about Haley and

Cooper is trying to like push him off

because his brother's kind of like the

[ __ ] boy of the pack and like not taking

things seriously

and Haley's going to peer it out of

context.

Yeah. So,

Cooper's dad is pushing through the the

pack link, but he's ignoring him. And

the brother makes some shitty comments

about like, you know, Haley, obviously,

she's just a bed warmer. That's why

you're, you know, keeping her around

like this, blah, blah, blah. And Cooper

is like, uh-huh.

Yep. Like trying to get him out of the

office. But that's all Haley hears.

It always goes so well.

Yeah. So, um,

brother also tells him that the mom did

set him up with a date, like an eligible

shifter date for the birthday party.

Um,

the Oh,

yeah. So,

and did Haley accept the job or did she

say she'd think about it?

She said she would think about it. She

wanted to talk to Cooper about it

because it's like, you know, the guy

she's seeing, it's his family business,

like, you know,

respectful.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, so

Haley obviously heard everything. She's

completely heartbroken and she's like,

"Yeah, I remember now why we don't deal

with men anymore."

And um, completely ignores the guys when

she gets home cuz there's a crew at her

house, including his other brother,

Cooper's other brother.

Um, and so they clearly know something

is wrong and that she's upset.

Um, but she just wants to be left alone.

So, she just goes straight to work and

is like, "I'm not dealing with any of

this." Refuses to speak to any of them.

So, the brother is like, "Hey, Coupe,

what the [ __ ] did you do to Haley?"

What did you do?

We like the older brother.

Yeah. Cuz he's like, "If you [ __ ] this

up with your faded mate, I will actually

kill you." Cuz like I know what it's

like to be rejected. It would be better

if you were dead. So, you need to figure

out what the [ __ ] you did and get your

[ __ ] together.

Yes,

it's very serious here. And so,

um, some random dude also shows up at

the house, like seems to be lost or

something. It's kind of weird. And the

brother just like shuts the guy down and

gets him off the property. Um,

I see.

So, Cooper decides um to go to Haley's

office and she's not answering any of

his messages or his calls or anything

and she's like, "Hey, so maybe get out."

M and he's like, "I I don't understand.

Like, why are you why are you being like

this?" And she's like, "What kind of

person stands by and lets someone talk

about a woman that they care about that

way and agrees and doesn't say anything?

I I don't have any interest in

continuing this."

I appreciate her backbone.

Yeah.

Um

I mean, I know he's not going to accept

her backbone.

No.

But I do appreciate it. He does try to

like convince her of stuff and she's

like, "Okay, so if you're not going to

leave, I'm going to leave. Thank you so

much." And he's like chasing her,

begging her. Um, and she starts to put

things different things together. And

she's like, "Oh, okay. So, we've never

been on a date in public, have we? We've

never been to dinner together. We've

never been out together. The only time

you and I have been in public together

is when we were in a group at the bar.

you are go right like you're clearly

either ashamed of me or using me or what

but I'm not interested in it. Um he

never took her to his place which is the

pack house. Um he does have a separate

cabin which comes up later but

but he also never took her there.

He never did. So he's like pleading with

her to like let him explain and she's

like I don't think you need to explain.

I think you should just go ahead and

kiss me right here on the sidewalk in

the middle of town. And he hesitates and

she's like, "There's my answer. That's

all I needed to know. Thank you so

much." And um Haley drives away just

realizing that she had a lot more

feelings with him than she'd really

accepted and is really upset about it.

Um

Cooper gets a smackdown talk from the

sheriff again. Um and

I like Marcus. Yeah, me too. I like him

a lot. Um, and he's like, "Hey, also uh

you need to leave her alone. She is not

a wolf. She does not understand what's

going on.

She does know. She probably has feelings

for you and you essentially just

rejected her and she doesn't understand

why she feels the way that she does. If

you try to go all alpha on her right

now, it is not going to work. You need

to give her some space."

Um, so

which is, you know, insight that I feel

like Cooper probably needed to hear.

100%.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because he was absolutely going to

get drunk and then try to go to her

house and wind up making it worse. Um,

so Marcus,

getting drunk and showing up at

someone's house rarely makes it better.

Um,

yeah. No,

I was like, can I think of a time?

Yeah. I was that I was literally doing

the same. I was like, "Can I think of a

time when it has made it better?"

No.

No. No. I cannot think of a time.

Yeah. Yeah. Go with option B.

Go to sleep.

Yeah. Like lay down.

Don't get in the Uber. Um, hand your

phone to someone you trust.

Like Brida in community.

I don't know why I did that. so

emphatically. Um,

we are really great at a at a full

circle community moment.

Yeah, we really are. So, Marcus then

shows up at Haley's house a few days

later. She's an absolute mess. She's

like not sleeping or eating and she does

not understand why she's like being so

upset about this guy that she slept with

like two times and like has known for

she's like, "You didn't even know him

that well. Why are you so upset about

this? Why are you giving him this much

power over your life?" Yes. She's like,

"Why are you unable to wash your hair

over a man? Come on." Like, for [ __ ]

sake,

you got me out here defending a man for

real.

For real. So, um, Marcus is like, "Hey,

so Cooper [ __ ] up, but I think that

you probably need to talk to him. Like,

I think there's a lot going on." So,

today is Ila's birthday party. So,

you're gonna go shower and get ready,

and I am gonna take you to the birthday

party. Okay.

This is a great friend.

He really is lovely. Um, and

he does.

Yay.

Mhm. He does. So, the party is pretty

nice at first. Um, like Haley's having a

good time. She doesn't see Cooper

anywhere, which is probably why she's

having a nice time. But then his mom

shows up with a woman and is like, "Oh,

have you seen my son? this is so and so.

I wanted to introduce them. I really

think they would get along really well.

And Haley is like, great. Um,

just go [ __ ] myself. Thank you so much.

Yeah, I'm just going to go get a drink.

And so she then runs into Cooper um

inside kind of away from everyone. And

he is begging her to talk. Um, but then

somebody else shows up and Cooper is

immediately like, "Oh, hello. This is

Haley, our family accountant." And she's

like, "Okay, thank you so much. You guys

enjoy your evening."

Yes. And you're really showing me how

into me you are when you are introducing

me as the family accountant.

Yeah. And she's like, "Marcus knows

nothing." So Cooper's continuing to

panic. the guy is actually a very

dangerous alpha. Um, and he was trying

to protect her. So, uh, he tries again

to talk to her, continues to shut him

down. And, um, she just keeps reminding

herself it was just a few dates. And she

decides she's just going to go home.

She's like, I don't. And she's like, you

know, I tried it. I got out of the

house. I did what Marcus asked me to do.

And clearly, like, none of it matters.

So, she gets home and she's just ready

to go to bed and just be done with all

of this when her doorbell rings and she

thinks that it's Cooper because she

looks through the peepphole and there's

a bunch of flowers. Um, but it's not.

It's not. Yeah. No, it's her ex. And so,

she opens the door and sees her ex's

face and somebody hits her from behind.

What?

Yeah. So, there was somebody in the

house as well and she didn't know. So,

we flashed to Cooper. He's drinking and

wallowing and generally being kind of a

[ __ ] His head hurts really bad and

he's not understanding why. Um, but he's

trying to drink fast enough to get

drunk. So, he's just like pounding

whiskey. Um, laced with the snake.

Different book, but also incredible.

So good. Um, and um, so he's not

interested in the pack run. He just

wants to wallow. Ethan comes in and he's

like, "Hey, man. Maybe just go to bed.

You're gonna fix it tomorrow, okay?

Like, we'll fix it tomorrow." So, we're

back to Haley. She wakes up tied to a

chair. Um, her ex is there with two

other guys. Um, and the ex is like, "You

embarrassed me and you have to pay."

Because she like refused to marry him

and reported him for like he physically

attacked her. And so, when she refused

to marry him,

Yes. She was the embarrassing one in

that situation.

Yeah. And so she reported him and

nothing happened because he's an

attorney and has a lot of cop friends.

So like nothing ever happened to him,

but he was highly embarrassed like at

his firm and stuff. And so

good good. You should be embarrassed,

you piece of [ __ ]

Be more embarrassed.

You're not embarrassed enough for my

liking. Like oh the ways I want to shame

you, buddy. Um,

you embarrassed me so much when I beat

the [ __ ] out of you and you to on me.

Yeah.

What?

I can't believe I gave you a concussion

and then you had to go and tell people

about it.

It was just a little concussion. No need

to get out of sorts.

It was mild. Like, you could still read.

I've had a lot of concussions.

You could still look at blue light.

What's the problem?

You're literally fine.

So, um, Haley is like, "Oh, he's here to

murder me." Like, this is fully

unhinged. Like, she's finally starting

to like fully come to her senses and

realizes like the men with her are, um,

people he has hired specifically to kill

her. And so, um, she's like, "Yeah, and

nobody's going to be looking for me

because I stomped off after having a

fight with Cooper. So even if somebody

texts me or tries to call, like they're

not going to think anything of it if I

ignore it. So she's like looks like

we're saving ourselves, kiddos. And so

she like finds her moment, breaks out of

the chair, kicks the [ __ ] out of her ex.

Um winds up stabbing a guy with a

screwdriver cuz this is an active

construction site. And so she

Oh, they just tied her up at her house.

Yeah. They kept her

They didn't take her to a secondary

location.

No. Okay. So she's like, "This is my

dining room. What is happening?" Like,

so she stabs a guy with a screwdriver

and then she winds up jumping out a

second story window still with her hands

bound. She did all of this with her

hands bound and then she takes off

barefoot through the woods. She knows

generally the direction of Cooper's

cabin and so she's just like oriented

that direction and runs that way.

Um, Cooper is continuing to drink and be

a [ __ ] when his sister comes in with

Marcus on the phone and Marcus is like,

"Hey, somebody heard a gunshot at

Haley's house. I need you to go get

there like right now." Um, he is at

stuck at an accident scene, like a

multiple car pileup, and he he literally

is unable to get to the house.

Okay.

And so

I was wondering, I was like, why did why

didn't you just go yourself? could do

it, Marcus.

So, at that point, Ila finally tells

Cooper about Haley's ex cuz he has had

no idea this whole time still. So,

Cooper flips out, mind links with his

big brother who had just dropped Haley

off. And um the brother turns around and

goes to check on her house. He was like,

"She was fine. Like, I watched her go

into the house. I heard the door lock.

She's fine, but I will turn around and

go check. So, he gets to the house, find

the guy that she stabbed. He is now dead

on her floor, and he's like, "So, things

aren't fine.

Uh, things things might have escalated

since I dropped her off."

Yeah. Um, and so Cooper

shifts and takes off running through the

woods. He's like, "I'm gonna find her."

She's still He doesn't even know he's a

shifter. She has no idea. So, Cooper

finally finds her and her ex is like

standing over her with a gun. He takes

the ex down fully um and breaks his arm

and his leg, but when he turns around to

check on Haley, she has picked up the

gun and is aiming it at him because

she's like, "What?" Um

there's a giant woof that I need to

protect myself from.

Right. And then Cooper shifts and she's

like, "Cool, good, great." Like, "What

the fuck?" She throws herself at him and

she's like, "Get me out of here." Like,

"I I whatever. I'm probably

hallucinating. I probably have a

concussion. Just get me the [ __ ] out of

here. I don't even care."

Um,

so Leila, the sister who's a doctor,

checks on her, says she's okay. But

Haley is not speaking,

but she's also not letting go of him and

he's starting to get really freaked out

like cuz she's just not moving. And so

um she has a pretty bad cut on her head

um and a broken hand and some other

things. So they get her taken care of.

Um and um Ila's like, "Hey, so I heard

you know about the whole shifter thing.

You okay? Have any questions?" Cuz Ila

like took her aside and was like, "Are

you hurt anywhere? I can't see. Is there

anything?" You know, whatever.

Mhm.

And so she's like, "So and Haley's like,

"Yeah, um to be fair, a lot has happened

tonight and uh I don't think I have

fully processed that. I'm not scared of

you guys, but like um

but also like my ex did just show up

with two hired hitmen and tried to kill

me. It's a lot to process.

I may have killed a man with a

screwdriver. So maybe uh

with her hands behind her back is

honestly impressive.

Yeah. Yeah. And they might have been I

don't remember where her hands were.

Regardless, her hands were tied together

and she killed a man with a screwdriver,

which is just it was

we give her credit regardless of where

her hands were.

It's very good work. Um, Cooper decides

to take her to his cabin

um because she can't stay in the house,

obviously. It's an active crime scene.

So, um, Cooper is very gentle, very

kind, taking care of her um all through

the night. The next day, Marcus shows up

with Ila. Marcus is getting her

statement

um and um Ila is checking on her

injuries and stuff, making sure she's

okay. And she's just like, "Oh, I miss

my family so bad." She's like,

"This community is so lovely, but like I

miss my people and like she's grateful,

but she's also really sad." But now

she's like, "I guess I can call my

sister." Like that's good news. Like, so

I guess they caught

Bad news. I killed a man.

Good news.

Good news.

Would you like to come out for a visit?

Book a flight.

Got a guest room. We'll have several at

my bed and breakfast.

So, um, Cooper feels like everything is

his fault and, you know, he's freaking

out and they wind up having a big heart

to heart and they have like their

solidifying [ __ ] of like, you're mine

and, you know, this is it for me and

blah blah blah, but he still doesn't

bond her.

He's like, I can't do that yet. She's

just been through a trauma. And it's

like, okay, buddy. Yeah,

Haley is getting so agitated because

he's still not acknowledging her in

public and she's like, I hate it here.

Like, everybody has explained about

faded mates, so she understands more

now, but she still is like, this is

[ __ ]

When you understand it, it makes it even

less logical as to why he's taking his

time.

Yes. Yeah. And so she's like, "Okay, so

basically you think that because I'm

human, I'm too weak to handle this and

that's why you won't claim me. That's

what you're telling me." Right? I got

myself out. Like to be clear, you didn't

save me. Like I saved myself and still,

right? So she's getting more and more

angry.

Um

and she's like, "I'm just going to go

see my family because I can do that now.

So bye.

going home.

I have other options now.

Yeah, going home. So, um, Ethan follows

her. Cooper is like, "You have 3 days

and then I'm coming for you." And she's

like, "Okay." Like, whatever.

Shut the [ __ ] up, Coop. Like,

yeah. Yeah.

I I'm like rooting for them and he's so

annoying.

He's really annoying. So, like the she's

there for one night at her parents house

and she comes downstairs and Ethan is in

the kitchen like eating breakfast and

she's like, "What?" And her mom's like,

"I found this young man on the porch."

Oh my god.

Oh my god. And so, um, there's very cute

like bonding with the family with Ethan.

They're like, "Oh, is this your

boyfriend?" And he's like, "No, please

don't say that.

Don't even joke about that. Please

don't. Um, so

she's like, "I like having my dick still

attached to my body, and if you make

that joke again, it won't be anymore."

Yep. Yep. Um, so her sister, her younger

sister, gives her a pretty firm come to

Jesus, and she's like, "Okay, so I get

it. I do get it. And he really thinks

he's caring for you. If you want to show

him that you're strong enough to handle

it, then you need to show him you're

strong enough to handle it. So go to

this work conference, which we have now

found out is a wolf thing.

Go to the work conference, be as fully

sexy as possible. Kill in every meeting,

and

if he wants to show up, he can show up.

Yeah. Keep living your life and being a

badass. Don't let him take that from

you.

And he'll either get it or he won't. And

it's actually very funny the dynamic

between Ethan and the sister because

initially he's like, "Yeah, listen to

her. I like her a lot. Give give Koopa a

break. He's really trying." You know,

and then when it's like, "Wear sexy

clothes for the conference."

No, I I like her less now. He's like,

"No, no, no,

no. Maybe wear a turtleneck under a long

sleeve cardigan to the conference."

Yeah. So Haley shows up at the pack

house because after her 3 days are up or

whatever because um she can't be at

Cooper's house right at his cabin

because of the the rumors that that

would start. She can't be in the bed and

breakfast because she can't be in the

bed and breakfast really. Like she's

pretty sure she's going to have to move.

She's like I don't think I can live

here.

Um,

that would be hard to overcome

being attacked in your own home.

Mhm.

Yeah.

And Leila is staying elsewhere for a few

days. So, she's staying in Ila's

apartment at the pack house. What's the

problem? Um,

and um she just continues to hold her

boundaries. So, at the conference, there

is a big confrontation about the deal

that Haley figured out

um and realized was a scam. And um

Cooper really wants to like interfere

because one of the guys is getting

pretty aggressive, but he's like, "But I

really can't." And

Haley doesn't need him to interfere

anyway. And he's like, "Oh."

Everybody is now coming to him and

they're like, "So tell me about this

human accountant. Like she's beautiful.

She's smart. She kept her cool in a room

full of alphas posturing at her. Like

tell us more about her." like we really

like her and he's like, "Oh, no."

Because he's an idiot.

So, yeah. Well, I mean, like he's had a

very low view of her,

right?

While also being like, "No, she's like

I'm cherishing her." I'm like, "No, the

best thing that's ever happened to me."

You're really that way. Act that way.

So, that's basically what she tells him.

She's like, "I don't think you

understand. You continue to follow me

around, but you push me away in public.

Everybody is just gonna think that we're

[ __ ] buddies or something. And frankly,

that's all we are right now. And you're

not protecting me. You are damaging my

reputation. Yeah.

Why are we doing this? Either claim me

or leave me alone. Like, period.

So, Haley then runs into the head alpha

of the region who invites her for a

drink. And he seems to be kind of into

her. Um, but it he says he thought she

was his faded mate. Like when he saw her

and like first smelled her, he really

thought so. But the more he's talking to

her, he's realizing that she's not and

he's really sad about it. But he really

likes her.

And so um she just hangs out with him

basically for the duration of the party.

The regional alpha.

Yeah. So he is the regional manager

and

Cooper is the assistant to the regional

manager.

Not okay. To the

Yeah. There are multiple assistants to

the regional manager.

Yeah.

Not assistant manager.

No. So

never

assistant to the regional alpha.

He has not like earned to drop that too

at this point. So um

are there executive alphas in this

hierarchy?

Not that I'm aware of.

Seuite.

I'm pretty sure there is a council

though. It's a complex corporate

structure. Um so um

Cooper keeps telling Haley how much he

misses her and she's just getting more

mad. She's like this was your idea. and

he he's like getting more jealous that

she's like dancing with Blake or

whatever. Um but he sticks to his plan.

He's not going to mark her, whatever.

And my notes literally say this back and

forth [ __ ] continues. It just

there's more like description of scenes

like this over and over.

Oh my gosh.

So, I didn't outline them. I don't know.

But

but

quite frankly, and I mean this with no

disrespect to your outline, when the ex

showed up.

Yes. I thought we were done.

Yeah. I And so then when you're like And

then

Yeah.

She goes to the conference. I was like,

"Wait, what?"

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. The conference I

completely forgot about after the ex

showed up,

right? Because that's like the in any

other romance novel, like that is

the the big crescendo.

Yeah. Yeah. That that's the story. Um

but it continues. There's another party

several days later. Um

Yeah. Those conferences aren't just one

day big corporate wolf conference like

that.

So Haley is once again dancing with the

head alpha at a party. Um literally

everyone is telling Cooper that he is a

[ __ ] [ __ ] cuz she's like looking

beautiful out here on the dance floor

laughing with this amazing alpha

whatever like who is incredibly powerful

and he's over here with his thumb in his

ass like a [ __ ] idiot. And basically

he gets told that repeatedly and finally

he loses his [ __ ] and claims her in

front of everyone like yanks her away

from the alpha and is like she's mine

and Blake's like I know you dumb [ __ ]

like like I literally have been dancing

with her and like lightly flirting with

her for days trying to get you to do

this.

Yeah. Really thought like this would be

the catalyst like

Yeah. Yeah. Like I thought you were

going to say, "May I cut in 5 days ago,

you bitch?"

Right. Right. And I've also been

stopping all the other people from

hitting on her.

Yes. He's like, "I don't even like to

dance. Like I don't even like to dance."

That's not in the book, but I wish it

were. Do you see these twinkle toes? I

have blisters.

So, um, they have a solidifying [ __ ]

It's incredible.

On the dance floor.

No, they do make it back to their room.

Um, and so then everyone is incredibly

happy. Cooper's mom is already talking

about like where them grandb babies at.

Like everybody's just so excited.

She really pivoted quickly from I'm

introducing him to a suitable option,

right? But again, faded mate trumps all

in this universe.

So it's the epilogue.

So it is Haley's um bachelorette hen

party.

Okay. where weeks weeks later her twin

sister is like, "Hey honey, so you have

had a traumatic year. Are you sure that

you need to be getting married to this

man right now?" Cuz also her sisters are

like, "I think this is a cult. Like

these people are [ __ ] weird." Cuz

none of her family knows about the

shifter thing. So they're like, "These

people are [ __ ] bizarre." Like what

is this?

They're not wrong. No. And so, but Haley

is like, "Hey, I love you and I

appreciate you so much. Please don't

worry about it. I'm super happy. We're

getting married. It's going to be

incredible." And that's the end.

So, I think part of the thing with this

book, and I think why it was too long,

because that wasn't necessarily my

experience with the other books in the

series,

is because she was setting up all of the

other characters for their future books

as well,

right? Because the head alpha gets a

book, Marcus gets a book, like all of

these side characters, and even the the

business deal that falls through and all

that stuff. That's like an arching plot

through several of the books. And so

that's where it's like, yeah, so Haley's

plot is the ex showing up, but like the

series plot is the conference and all

this other stuff.

So, I really liked the perspective and

how it was a little bit different in

some ways and like, you know, I

appreciated the story in general, but I

think she had to like draw out the back

and forth to introduce all these side

characters cuz there were even other

ones I didn't even mention.

Oh gosh.

Um, and so I think that that's kind of

why that happened that way. I would say

it's definitely worth the read.

and the story or the the series is worth

the read. Um, but yeah, I I became less

and less into Cooper the longer it went.

I feel like when this started off I was

like, "This is strong. This is real

strong." And then like by the end I was

like, "Cooper,

what are you doing?"

Mhm.

He is, I will say, like redeemed in the

later books because he's still around

and so like you get to see

he still is the pack alpha.

Yes. And you get to see their dynamic

mature a little bit like

you know in a collateral way. Um but

yeah, overall a very enjoyable book and

a great series.

Yeah, it was very endearing.

He got annoying, but it was still very

fun.

Yeah,

I did. It did probably go longer than I

because I really thought it was gonna I

thought that was the the end.

I remember when I was reading it, I was

like, "Oh my god." Like, "Oh my, okay,

we're killing people. Like, we're

attacking people." Oh, oh my god, I have

like 200 pages left.

And then you look down, you're like, I'm

only 63% of the way through the book.

What the [ __ ]

I was like, uh,

where are we going from here?

Yes.

Cuz like the X never comes up again.

It's like Haley has nightmares and so

she's not going to move back into the

B&B.

She gives it to one of her sisters. So

Oh, yeah.

That makes sense.

Mhm.

Cuz they will also move across the

country now that they

they will

No, she's there.

Yep.

What's our rating system?

Um,

well, I was going to say screwdrivers,

but that's a little dark.

Oh,

I was like, what's a thing from this

book? a screw.

Whoops. A spreadsheet.

Um,

we could do uh regional managers laws.

We could Yeah. I I really don't feel

like there's just like an immediate

obvious

She was at the hardware store a lot,

right?

CPR compression like CPR dummies.

Yeah, this book is not lending itself

naturally to a rating system.

Mm-m.

This is the most we've struggled in a

long time.

What if we just go out of stars?

Full moons. Would that make you feel

better for the shifters?

Yes.

Okay. For the shifters, full moons,

which has no impact in this book. They

shift when they want.

But we're going full moons. Um we'll say

out of um

10.

Uh we will go

I'm going to say seven.

Yeah.

You know.

Mhm.

He was too annoying for an eight.

Mhm.

But it was until he got annoying, it

would have been an eight.

Yes. Yeah.

And I would say the setup for the

series, like the context of the rest of

the series helps a little bit as well.

And so, yeah, I would go seven.

Seven full moons.

Yeah.

Any waning.

No.

Any waxing crescent?

I almost was like, uh, it's going to be

a six with a waxing gibbus.

I don't know why I did that voice. I

don't know that I've ever done that

voice in my life.

I'm glad you felt safe enough to try a

new voice.

Okay, seven full moons. No waxing or

waiting. Gibbus goodbye

moons

cresence.

Not the Pillsberry.

Oh, I could go for that right now.

I could [ __ ] that up. Oh,

okay. Let us know how many full moons

and crescent rolls you would rate this

one. Uh, don't forget to like,

subscribe, DM us any recommendations

that you'd like us to review in the

future, and we'll see you next time.

Bye, smudsluts. Bye.

Well, that's it for this week, Smud

[ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz

it sure was great for us. If you're

digging what we're doing, it would mean

a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and

review the show wherever you're

listening right now. Maybe tell that

sexy someone to lend us an ear. We love

you. We appreciate you. And we'll see

you next week. Stay smiley.