Smut Club

Well, hello all you beautiful people.

You know what time it is.

Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and

everyone in between.

Gather around. Get you something real

nice to sip on and comfy to slip on.

Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's

your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah.

[Music]

[Laughter]

Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club.

I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this is

the podcast where we are two licensed

mental health professionals who enjoy

daydrinking and reviewing shitty romance

novels.

Yeah,

sometimes not shitty, sometimes shitty.

today.

Hannah,

don't scare them off. We just got here.

Y'all, when I tell you Chelsea told me

this morning what we were reviewing

and I had a visceral response to that

and then and then I somehow

repressed it and was like, "No." and

completely forgot what we were doing

until I just looked at your phone screen

and saw your notes and immediately just

god damn it.

Take a deep breath. Hydrate, meditate,

masturbate, do whatever you need to get

centered. Actually, I take it back that

last one. What the [ __ ]

I don't take it back in general to get

yourself right. I just take it back

when there's a camera on you because we

don't have that sort of payw wall.

I was going to say

that's different.

We need to charge a little extra for

that.

It's a different platform. A

different platform. Yes. Um, for those

wondering what Hannah is losing her [ __ ]

about since we still haven't even told

you, today we are reviewing

She's so annoyed with me right now.

Tempt Me

by Nina West, KA Tucker, the first book

in the Wolf Hotel series.

So, you didn't tell me that this was

what we were reviewing until after I got

here today.

That was by design.

Oh, clearly.

Because I also

just remembered that on the highway from

my house to your household

that says

addicted to sex

Jesus sets free.

Have you called that number?

I have not. No.

I'm curious when you like what resources

do they offer when you call that number?

I don't know. I'm a little bit afraid to

find out, but I am just curious enough

to potentially take that leap. But maybe

Well, and important to remember, um, so

the Wolf series, Hotel series, started

as a four book series. They've now

released a fifth. I read it.

I personally felt like I was good with

the initial four and the initial kind of

box set.

Um, but this is just the first book,

correct? So, wasn't Wow, that would have

been a journey. We would need several

episodes. And if like we might review

Sure. If you guys want to hear more.

Yeah.

Let us know so that Chelsea can do that

for you.

I'd be happy to do that for you. Yeah,

I'm I'm happy to. Hannah is

accommodating with a lot of weird

monster [ __ ] Um Mhm.

I feel like I the dark like the mafia

romances I feel like are more like my

bread and butter than yours.

But we we read everything.

I was going to say we I think we both go

through phases for these things cuz I

have read all four of these to begin

years ago though and I can't even tell

you now sitting with you why.

Well, that's the funniest part is like I

you read this series for as silly as

this sounds. I know you read this series

in 2021.

Yeah.

Cuz we had just started working together

and we were like talking about books

and I'd asked if you'd read it and

you're like, "It's on my list." And then

like a couple weeks later you're like,

"Well, I read it."

Betrayed. That was the first true test

of our friendship.

But I also know this is a really popular

series. People really love it. And so

here's my challenge for you today,

Hannah. Hm.

Maybe today you can try and find what

others connect with in this book and see

what speaks to them about it.

Okay, I can do that. I can I can um take

on more of an attitude of curiosity and

set some of my judgment aside for this

journey today. No, I'm ready.

Serious lasso.

Okay.

You've watched Hasso, right?

Yes.

Yeah. Okay. I was like, "My reference

made sense."

It did. It did.

Okay. So, as we said, this is Tempt Me,

the first book in the Wolf Hotel series,

which very transparently, I think I just

know as the Wolf Hotel series. When I

opened the book, I was like, "Huh, Tempt

Me? I guess they do have individual

names."

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But I was like, I should have known

that. Um, I didn't, but I also read it

years and years ago initially. So, we

open with Abby Mitchell. Mhm.

Abby is 21.

She is uh it's not a good day to be Abby

Mitchell. She just found out that her

boyfriend is cheating on her.

And this is the guy that like she's been

with him since they were 16. Very

conservative Christian household. Like

they're saving themselves for marriage.

Well, she's saving herself for marriage.

He is plowing another girl on campus.

his dad is their like hometown pastor

sort of energy.

Um,

and right from the rip, the like

Christian [ __ ]

of him being like, "No, like it's going

to be such a gift when you give me your

virginity on our wedding night and that

you're saving oursel like saving

yourself for us." But like it's

different for dudes. So, like I have to

like work out this energy now

when it's like low stakes cuz you

wouldn't want me to like have to work

out this energy later on, would you? And

I'm like,

I can cheat on you now or later. The

choice is yours.

What a generous offering.

Okay. Would you rather me cheat on you

now or when we have a legally binding

agreement?

Tough call. Tough call.

Yeah.

Um

she

is not thrilled with this and he's like,

"Yeah, it's it's not that serious or

anything, but like a couple months go by

on campus and he's like clearly dating

this girl at this point. Like it's more

than just like [ __ ] about."

And Aby's still heartbroken and trying

to figure out what she wants to do. and

they're having a job fair. So, she at

the college job fair goes around and

there's a video inter interview

interview booth for Wolf Lodge in

Alaska.

Um she's applying for the landscaping

team. She definitely

uh

oversells her resume a bit. Sure. um

where she's like

I haven't she's like sure after the

administrative work she's like I've

organized all of these like things like

all these events and festivals and

parties and then she's like yeah I was

like the church admin there was like a a

monthly barbecue or like

potluck technically it's all true but

yes like very much in where you're like

well technically right

it felt like when I put facilitating

snack time on my resume as

right yes Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Which I did facilitate snack time.

Technically true. And not what I really

needed to sell myself,

right? Passing out gummy packs is not

necessarily like the job skill we were

hoping it would be.

I was pouring goldfish. Okay.

Excuse me.

Those can go rogue. One can fly off

unlike a gummy pack.

Yeah.

Just saying. Harder work.

I don't know. Oh, gummy packs. You often

have to wind up opening them for the

kids, you know.

Oh, you know, touche.

Yeah, that is bad.

Pros and cons. Pros and cons. That's

what you learn. Facilitating snack time.

That's what we bring to the table. Make

a note.

I should I should add it back to my

resume.

That decision-m

required. I mean, come on.

Skilled at making decisions in high

stress situations.

facilitating uh the the nutritional

supplementation

in early childhood.

I see no issues.

Hit me up if you need help writing your

resume. I got you.

I want to see that finished resume so

badly.

So, as Aby's leaving this, she's like,

"Oh, so like when will I hear back?"

sort of like

and they're like, "Well, you know, we're

like looking for people with like luxury

hotel experience." So, she assumes her

application is dead on on arrival. Sure.

Um but she plot twist, she ends up

getting the job.

So, she like takes her final exams and

then like flies out the next day. She's

thrilled because if she weren't going to

Alaska to work, she would be leaving.

So, she goes to college in Chicago. Um,

she's from a small town in Pennsylvania

and she's like, "If I didn't get this

job, I would be going back to

Pennsylvania for the summer. Like, I'd

be going back to my parents, our small

town, who all expects me and Jed to get

back together." Oh, great news. Jed

brought the girl back to town. Yeah.

Brought the Jezebel back to town.

Um, so she's like, I don't want to be

there. And so she's just like, "I'm a

little out of my depth here, but like

it's a it's a good option.

Figure it out."

Yes. 1,000%.

Um, so when she gets there, I mean, it's

beautiful. It's magical. It's everything

you expect a luxury hotel in Alaska to

be. Um, her flight was delayed and so

she missed the initial like portion of

orientation and she finds out like she

thought she was applying for the

landscaping team. Um, and they're like,

"Yeah, so you're on housekeeping and

guest services." And she's like, "Wait,

what? Like that's not

Mhm.

I shouldn't be how like that's not even

what I talked to you about when I when I

did interview,

right?"

And Belinda is the one at the front

desk, the hotel manager, and she seems

like, "Yeah, I'll look into it. I'm busy

doing other things now. We're opening a

brand new luxury hotel

in a couple of days.

Go put some sheets on some beds. like

why are you bothering me with this kind

of energy?

If it's a problem for you, you can get

back on the ferry and turn around. I'm

busy, right,

doing real things.

Um, and quite frankly, I think that is

probably some of my frustration with

Abby throughout this book is like

she's so in her head about everything

that I'm like other people are having

experiences

like it's not just about you.

Mhm. for what it's worth.

Um, she calls her mom uh to tell her

that she's safe and her mom is

immediately like, "Are there any good

Christians around?" Like that sort of

like

Also, what the [ __ ] kind of question is

that? Your daughter landed

thousands of miles away from you,

right?

Are there any good Christians? Do they

have a bell on? Like, how do you

identify them?

I just got here. Like,

yes. Um,

she just got off the ferry. I don't know

what you think is happening.

I I haven't had time to hit up the FCA

yet. Like

to hit up the FCA.

Or what was the other one in college?

BCM.

Oh, we didn't have that one.

Uh, Baptist Collegiate Ministries or

something like that.

Oh,

I think it was BCM. I was gonna change

it to FCH and it could be the Fellowship

of Christian housekeepers.

That's very

That's not college here, right? This is

an adult job for our our college girl.

So, that makes it even harder to find

good Christians cuz they don't belong to

any clubs, any social clubs. How do you

know?

Well, and she'd been at that

conservative Christian college in

Chicago, you know,

where everybody's having premarital sex

but her, apparently.

Yeah. I um heard a song this week by

Elizabeth Nichols off her new EP

and the line the song is called like

Bible belt or something like that. But

one of the lines is like I pray before I

eat, they pray after they cheat.

And I was like, "Oh, damn girl. Oh,

damn."

Shots fired.

Yeah.

So that's like I'm not going to get into

it, but protests have been happening.

Somebody posted a protest sign from the

town where I live, which is in a very,

very red area, but it said, "Your papa

didn't run shine through these hollers

for you to be a bootlicker." And I

almost fell out. That is incredible.

I was like, "Oh shit."

Oh my god.

Wow. Do you know the person who had that

sign?

Oh yeah. I was going to say if not your

town's not that large. I'm sure you're

friends with them now.

Oh yeah.

If you didn't start as friends with them

before that sign.

Oh yeah. I was like you are a person I

want to know because that's incredible.

Um on my time hop it came up that like I

guess 14 years ago now I had was on

staff at this church and I tweeted dear

person whose ringtone just started

playing R. Kelly in church. It wasn't R.

Kelly. It was uh

whoever it was. That's not really

Usher. Yes. Diddy.

One of those [ __ ] like that where I was

just like, "Dear person whose phone just

went off in church, let's be friends."

Like,

if your ringtone just went off in church

and that's what you're playing, we're

going to get along just fine.

Hit me up. Thank you.

So Aby's had the uncomfortable call with

her mom that she's there and safe and is

kind of trying to settle in. She meets

her roommates and there's definitely

continued culture shock in that uh this

is a dorm living situation. So it's her

and five other girls on three sets of

bunk beds.

Oh. which it seems as though like that

it was kind of set up where like their

schedules

will line up where it won't be too

horrible and feel like they're all on

top of each other supposedly,

right?

Um but like they're all talking about

the hot owner, uh Henry Wolf, um aptly

named hotel, right? And like her

bedmate, I think Autumn is her bed mate,

is like, "Oh yeah, I took the top two

drawers, the bottom two are yours, and

the middle one is our shared underwear

drawer. I put a divider in it. It's

like, we'll each have our own space. And

she's like, what? This is so much. Then

she like she's like putting her clothes

away and opens the drawer and she's

like, "Oh, there's just like a giant

dildo in this." And just things that

you're like, "Well, yes, a lot of people

put their sex toys in their underwear

drawer."

Yeah.

You just happen to have a shared

underwear drawer. Like

these things are kind But like Aby's

just This is so out of her depth, right?

Right.

Um, and they're all talking about

drinking at the staff party that night

and Aby's like, "I've never been drunk

before. Like I I've always been warned

against the devil juice." I Those were

my words, not for the record. I saw it

on your face. Um, yeah. Like the

roommates are like changing clothes

openly and she's just like, "Oh, I'm so

used to like changing clothes behind

closed doors." and just a lot of

like I guess valid and legitimate

culture shock, but things that you're

like, "Oh, like there's nothing actually

like egregious or inappropriate

happening. It's just like,

oh, this is not the world that you grew

up in,

right? Her bubble is bursting, but not

in a violent way, just in a a way she

hasn't been exposed to."

Yes. I think she's really having to like

process a lot of that. I think upon my

reread of

this book I was a like I think the first

time I read it I was just like oh my

gosh Aby's so insecure I want to punch

her in the throat like go to therapy

girl and I still think everyone should

go to therapy right and I think also

if I allow myself to read this book and

look through the lens of like oh this is

a coming of age tale

it gives me a lot more sympathy

right

um

right

and makes me a little less annoyed as

she's like navigating some of these

things that you're like, "Oh, honey,

why?" Like, "This is painful to watch."

That makes sense. But this is part of

her

growth, right? Is like she is choosing

to step out of her comfort zone. She is

choosing to learn these things and like

that can we can give her some credit for

her her courage and her willingness

to step into a space she's not not

familiar with.

1,000%. And if like all you've ever done

is been in like cuz at one point I know

she's like talking to her mom on the

phone and she like makes a comment about

how her mom has never left their small

town.

So like yes if that is all you've known

and suddenly the world has opened up to

you in wild new ways. I get where I get

where it's a lot. Yeah. And so that

night, all of the new staff uh is just

having a party and hanging out and she

is

absolutely trashed because she's never

really had alcohol before, doesn't know

how to hold her alcohol, and gets

blitzed. Like, and she's like, "Alcohol

is so fun. Why haven't I been doing this

more often?" Like, that is her energy.

Um

why isn't everybody drunk all the time?

Yes. But like

Hannah and I like felt knowing your

frustrations like with this book when I

chose to outline it.

I think one of the things I was like I

think it's just a level of cringe.

Mhm.

Like the whole book you're just like

it's a physical

Yes.

Like like my shoulders go up to my ears.

Yes. because she's drunk at this party

telling anyone and everyone who will

listen about her fianceé who cheated on

her. Like drunkenly talking about how

like he cheated. She's a virgin. Just

like to these people she doesn't know.

Yeah.

She just met them. Like bless her new

roommates for kind of like, "All right,

time to like go back to the room."

Okay,

make sure you drink some water tonight.

This is new for you, right?

Let's take some ibuprofen and go to bed,

kiddo.

Yes. So her roommate Tilly ends up

walking her back to the dorm, but Abby

can't go to sleep. That would be too

easy. So she's like, "You you go Tilly.

I'm going to go down to the water and

like

drown." That's what I always think when

people are like, "I'm going to go

swimming while they're like drunk or

high in a book. You're going to drown."

I'm like mm- I think she just wanted to

like sit on the dock and like stare in

the mountains. But

sure, but also to your point, at one

point she goes, "I wonder how cold the

water is." So she like goes to like dip

her fingers in it. Her glasses fall off

her face cuz she's once again three

sheets to the wind.

She then is like, "I should lean over

and try and get my glasses." Girl, it is

a lake in Alaska. Your glasses are gone.

But she tries to reach for them and then

feels strong arms like grabbing her and

pulling her back and being like, "What

the hell are you doing?" And she's like,

"My glasses fell in." And the voice

attached to the arms is like, "They're

gone." Like,

"Diddo,

Angel Baby Honey, that is not

I hope you have a backup pair because

yes,

your originals will not be retrieved."

Well, and he's like, "You need to be

careful." And she's like, "You're not

the boss of me. Only the boss is the

boss of me." And the boss isn't here.

I've heard he's a hot billionaire that

like what? Like people call him the big

bad w like she's just once again still

trash

running her [ __ ] mouth.

Yes.

Shut up. And she like is so drunk she

refuses to go back to the dorm until she

can like try to get her glasses. So

bless this sweet person's heart. They're

like, "Okay, I guess I'll like secure

her and like anchor her to the dock

while she reaches into the water." And

then she's like, "I can't find them."

He's like, "No [ __ ] shit."

Oh, glad we could we figured that out.

You're cute, but you are drunk.

So cringe the whole time. like and she's

jumped to the point that like this

person is now this man large man is like

let me get you back to the dorm. So like

he's carrying her back. She's like

nuzzling into him like like rubbing his

beard and being this beard makes you

look like a lumberjack. Just like

not nuzzling.

Yeah. nuzzling like and at one point

like is like also prattling on to this

person carrying her about her fiance who

cheated on her and how she's a virgin

and she's like it would you [ __ ] me if I

asked like would you take my virginity?

I'm like

can you imagine just me I'm just trying

to get this drunk girl home

just trying to get her back.

Oh god.

Yeah, it is. It's hard to read.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's that's what a lot

of this one comes back to.

Yeah.

And like

the person carrying her is clearly

trying to be appropriate and like

Right. Right. Trying to be gentle and

helpful and not a creep.

Yes.

In a very easily creepy situation.

1,000%.

Um, and so he gets her back to the dorm,

has to like help her with the key and

such, and she kisses him, and then asks

his name, and he's like, "Henry, or some

people might call me the big bad wolf."

And then she's like,

like, and he just like closes the door

and like put like he's like, "You're

inside. Good night." And like that's his

like final statement to her.

Yes.

M unfortunate.

But you saw it. You saw it coming from a

mile and a half, right?

But it's one of those where it's like,

yep. So many deep eyes.

Just I don't know. Maybe I watched too

much Dine, but drowned and murdered.

Like murdered and drowned. Whatever

order. Like none of it's good. I don't

like it.

Whatever order,

you know, murder, drowning, I don't

know. Choose your order,

right? Choose your own.

Do you watch a lot of

murder?

Um, so my husband loves true crime.

Yeah.

In all forms.

Okay.

And so often if I am reading or doing

something else, he will put on a random

date line. For a case that he's already

listened to eight podcasts about often.

Um, yeah. I will say one thing that I

deeply

miss about living in Nashville is that

the time that I was in Nashville was

probably when I was like the most locked

into true crime stuff and like

like my favorite murder had really come

on the scene at the time and things like

that.

Um

I just completely lost where that

thought was going

about true crime. Oh, the thing that I

really miss is that that was also when I

trained police officers. And so there

would be times where I'd be like hanging

out with a group of officers and I'd be

like, "Have you watched that Netflix

documentary?

Talk me through it.

Let's discuss.

Talk me through it."

And they would always have such like

fascinating opinions. I'm like, "Oh,

that is a lens that I did not see this

through because I was not looking at the

evidence the same way you were."

Huh. So, I do really miss just having a

pool of police officers that I could

pull about true crime. Whenever I had

question,

whatever case,

I'm like, let's staff this one. They're

like, no need, Chelsea. This is not

ours. It happened five states away 20

years ago. And I'm like, you never know

what we could find. Maybe we should talk

it through. Matt texted me the other day

to be like, "Oh my god, Jerry from Parks

and Wreck is going to be in the new

Murdoch murder

show on Hulu." and he's so excited about

Jerry from Parks and Wreck being one of

the like Murdoch brothers or whatever

the [ __ ] in this Hulu show. I was like,

"Dude, does this mean we have to get

Hulu?" I don't

You can borrow mine. It's fine.

Good looking out. We won't step on each

other's toes cuz you wouldn't be

watching that anyway, probably.

No. And we literally have a profile made

for guests so you don't have to [ __ ]

with our [ __ ] at all.

That's awesome.

Yes. Yeah.

Although I have given to a couple of

family members our peacock password

because they all wanted to watch Love

Island.

I've had no short login from the same.

I'm like there's five of them in the

house. So I'm like have Okay, so you've

all logged in on your personal devices

and two shared devices. I'm like I don't

give a [ __ ] as long as you're on the

guest one. And I opened our personal

account and said we are not on episode

9. I will cut a [ __ ] No, I am

benevolently benevolently shar I can say

the word. It's fine. How much fun have I

had? I am benevolently sharing my

password with you and you have the

audacity to not click the guest profile.

That is the quickest way to lose access

to Love Island for the rest of the

season.

I was like, "No, no, no. Don't don't

mess with ours. Happy to share our

passwords."

I love it.

Don't mess with ours. Noted. Noted.

Well, at this point I at one point I

think my whole family we all like were

share. Like we had a couple streaming

services. My sister and brother-in-law

had a couple. My parents had some and we

were all kind of sharing and I looked

recently and I was like [ __ ] I pay for

like 90% of these. I'm like when did I

start?

How did that happen?

Yeah. I was like we should be sharing

the wealth here.

I guess we are. You are the wealth,

which is

unfortunate.

If if we are the wealth in this

situation, something has gone horribly

arry.

It's a dark commentary,

right? Okay, so the next morning my own

glasses off my face.

Crushing it.

Going to take a sip of wine.

Reset.

Okay. Okay. So, we we left Abby at being

dropped off by the big bad wolf in her

room. And now it's the next morning.

She's experiencing her first hangover.

And she's realizing why people don't get

drunk all the time and every night and

the less fun side of alcohol.

Um,

and she is really aware of like, oh, I

last night was not great. Okay, whoops.

I'm not feeling great. Here we go. we

just got to suck it up. This is our

first day. So, they're at like the big

orientation for all of the employees who

have been fied in and they bring out the

owner of the hotel, Henry, to like greet

all of them.

What up, Hank?

Right. And he's talking about how much

the property means to him, how like it

was his grandparents' property and like

just he wants this place to do really

well. Sure. Um and he also issues a

warning as he's like about to leave the

stage. She's like, "And just as a

reminder, uh, we have designated staff

areas versus guest areas, and we there's

already been one instance of drunk and

disorderly

like conduct by an employee. So, if we

could

lock it down." Uh-huh.

I'm like, "Ooh, imagine being in a like,

I don't know, 100 plus employee

orientation. I'm making up a number."

And there's a call out specific to your

[ __ ] up last night. So, I have to tell

you, if I were in that meeting, even if

I had stayed in my room the whole night,

I would have been like, "It was me,

wasn't it? Where did I go?"

Because that's my anxiety.

You're like, "I didn't even go to the

staff party."

I'd be like, "Oh my god, is my bunk off

limits?

Like, it's just my bunk. I [ __ ] up so

bad. Did I go to the wrong shared

bathroom or something?" Like, okay,

we've had conversations about this like

as a family about how we respond to

things like that or like

specifically we've had conversations

about if your boss says, "Hey, are you

free to connect for a few minutes?"

Your innate

response to that. And me and my

mother-in-law both automatically assume

we're getting fired. We assume we're

getting written up. We assume we did

something horribly wrong. Yep.

And we'll no longer be employed.

Fun fact, there are people who don't

think that. Hannah,

I know

it's w like

it's bananas.

My husband and my sister-in-law were

shocked. They're like, why wouldn't my

boss want to talk to me? I'm a great

hang with great ideas.

No.

And I'm like, what? Huh? You guys just

They shouldn't even know my name.

They shouldn't know my name.

Like like you shouldn't know what I look

like. None of You shouldn't know what I

look like.

None of it. I don't I don't want eye

contact. I have grown a lot. This is

definitely like 21 22year-old Hannah.

When I was first graduating from college

and stuff, if my boss had been like, I

need to speak to you. I would be like, I

will hurl myself into the river like, oh

my god. You're like, oh, I really wish

that we could speak, but unfortunately,

I just started puking aggressively and

need to leave. Maybe we can catch up at

a future date and time if you happen to

remember, but I'm hoping you won't.

Right. Unfortunately, I died last week,

so I won't be able to make that meeting.

Unfortunat

fortunately, I am deceased.

So,

but we've grown. We've grown. It's not

that bad anymore

cuz you're my body.

I just realized

I am technically your boss.

Oh my god, I'm

which was

when we met years ago. Not a dynamic I

saw happening. Um but it is where where

we're at and I am

Oh, you are technically my subordinate.

Yeah, but I don't receive text messages

from you and assume that I'm being fired

before I read them.

Also, I don't text employees.

You don't?

No. If I text you, it's normally like,

"This man just put guacamole on her

cuckoo.

The [ __ ] are we reading?"

Um, and I think sending that text

immediately followed with, "Do you have

a few minutes to connect?" would be

giving mixed messages.

It would. Yeah, that's a fair point. We

do keep it pretty pretty siloed

to the point that even my superior has

noted that

we're really good at it.

We are very we're totes profession. Yes.

So Abby goes back to Belinda after this

orientation and is like, "Hey, what

happened with that reassignment?" And

Belinda was like, "Yeah, we're short

staffed in housekeeping." So,

she's like, "What reassignment? You're a

housekeeper. Thank you."

Yeah. Like, that's where we need you.

That is where you shall be. Um, as Abby

is like having this conversation with

Belinda and it's not going as she hoped

it would. Henry happens to walk up and

he's like, "What's going on?" And she's

like, "Oh, like this is the situation."

And he's like, "Okay, well, uh, he's

like, "We'll get it sorted out. We'll

get you back to the position you were

hired for. Be downstairs at 7:00 a.m.

tomorrow."

All right.

Right. You're like, "Okay." Um, so that

night overnight, Abby wakes up.

Apparently, she has some insomnia and

typically wakes up at like

3:00 a.m.ish.

We get it.

We really do.

Yeah.

Um, and two of her roommates are going

down on each other and she's like, "I've

never seen women do this. I've never

really seen anyone do this." And so

she's just curious and watching um from

her bunk. Like

they kind of have privacy curtains that

you can close around the bunks.

Sure.

And they the the privacy curtains like

had a crack in them. Like they weren't

so she like can see a little in but

she's like

I mean they know they're in a room of

all of us. So like

this is

we can both see and hear you.

Yes. Um, and then once they go to sleep,

she's like, "Maybe I like I'm feeling a

little tingle down there." Sort of

energy. I didn't like that word. I

didn't like how I said that. I'm just

going to be completely honest there. Um,

but

you're not a tingle.

You're not a tingle.

Janice Dickinson's

autobiography. She kept talking about

how her flower would tingle.

Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. And I was like, Janice,

no need for all that plastic surgery, my

dear. It didn't have to be this way.

Wonder how she's doing now. Cuz that was

I think I read that in high school.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cuz that was back when like America's

Next Top Model was still Oh,

you know, back when they'd be like,

"We're going to cut off all of your hair

and put a gap in your teeth and you

should be grateful for it cuz it's going

to help your modeling career." Are you

going to be on board or are you going to

be a little [ __ ] about it?

We'll send your ass home if you won't

let us put a gap in your teeth

and or fix a gap in your teeth depending

on the season.

Right.

Oh god. Golden age of television right

there. Reality television.

We know you've grown your hair out your

entire life for religious reasons. and

if you don't let us give you a pixie cut

and diet platinum, you'll never have

success. And we were all like, Tyra is

right. They got to do what they got to

do.

You got to roll with the industry. You

know,

I think as an adult, like thinking about

like the bodily autonomy and consent

piece of it, it's a really gnarly

conversation.

Big yikes on a lot of fronts.

Yeah.

Yes. Yeah.

Um I know last episode we were talking

about like kind of like micro stems that

have like picked up. Um we were rooting

for you. We were all rooting for you.

Big one in our house.

Tell you I told you about in the last

episode I told you about the book I was

reading where the guy was like I learned

it all from porn. My first reaction was

I was rooting for you.

I wanted to like this book so bad. God

damn it.

Yeah,

you didn't. You didn't learn at all from

porn.

No, you didn't. And if you did, I don't

want to know what you know,

right?

I don't want to share that knowledge.

Um, so after Aby's roommates go to bed,

she

is still feeling a little tingly down

there,

flicking the bean.

Yeah. So, which is like a new kind of

not something she's done consistently,

very seldom if ever before. Um, and also

is thinking of her boss Henry at the

time, which is like a weird thing for

her cuz she's like, "Oh god, am I doing

this to the thought of my boss?"

You are. You are. Yeah.

I've never done that to the thought of

my boss.

Any of them. Nor I. Nor I. Really,

Hannah? Not even me.

Was Matt ever your boss? Y'all work

together?

No,

just different departments.

We've always been in different

departments.

Just saying. Got some questions.

The next morning, uh, Abby is waiting at

7:00 a.m. She is ready to go. But also,

when she was like grabbing her coffee on

the way out, she's like, none of the

outdoors crew is like moving with a

swiftness. Like, what the hell is

happening?

Right. Right.

She's like, because I thought I was

going to the outdoor crew. So, she's in

the lobby and like the outdoor crew

doesn't show up. No one's really there.

And then a truck pulls up and Henry's

driving it. And he's like, "We're going

to go chop wood." And she's like, "Uh,

okay." Like, "Are you also on the

grounds crew?"

Right. And he's like, "No." He's like,

"It's a" Well, and she says at one

point, she's like, "I assumed you'd have

your wood delivered for like your

firewood delivered.

I'm 12 years old. I'm so And that's my

poor wording, not even theirs."

Sorry.

Oh my god.

Well, and she's like, "I just assumed

you'd have all of your firewood

delivered." And he's like, "Why? Because

I'm rich." And she's like, "No, because

it's a big hotel." But then also she in

her head she's like,

"And because you're rich." Yeah. Like

just kind of And he's like, "Well, it's

a great stress relief and just like if

anyone asks, we were gathering wood. You

weren't like just is a little bit like

we don't need to tell everyone the full

details of this excursion, but we are on

this excursion together."

So, they're driving into the woods and

having a light conversation. He asks how

things are going. She tells him it's

been great. He asks about the living

quarters cuz he's like, "I thought they

were a little tight. like they told me

like they reassured me like it'd be fine

with how we did scheduling and she's

like no it is fine but and he's like

well like what's what's the butt and

she's like some of them more being a

little like intimate like I don't like

not intentionally like it didn't seem

like a telling on them

right not tattly kind of energy but like

a yeah I mean there's not enough privacy

for

I don't know if she was that

solutionsoriented

um Yes. It wasn't a we need to add more

privacy. It was a oh, you know, like I

like

my my roommate. And he was like, "So,

you saw your roommates fucking?" And he

she's like, "Yeah." It's like, "Oh, did

you like it?"

Right. Like it's

Did that scare you

and did that not scare you?

Did you want it to?

Did that scare you more?

Can you show me on this doll where you

feel the tingle?

It's in the flower.

It's in the I'm sorry.

No, I'm just imagining a baby doll with

a flower on it now.

So,

as they're out in the forest, he's

chopping wood. She's carrying it back to

the truck. Um, there's definitely like a

really like closeup. He's like, "I'm

gonna like teach you how to swing the

axe. I need to be immediately behind you

and touching you to teach you how to

chop chop wood."

Um, but also she's like, "Oh, like this

is hard work." And he's like, "Yeah,

also what do you think my outdoors crew

does?" He's like, "It's more than just

like landscaping. Like they are doing

this.

I don't know if you are equipped to do

this job. Um, and because she does like

I forget what she says, but at one point

she kind of like makes a comment about

her references or experience or

something

and he's like, "No, we we checked all

the references." She's like, "Oh, you

you did." And he's like, "Yeah." She's

like,

she's like, "How the hell wasn't I

passed over?"

Why did you hire me then?

Well, and in that conversation with

Henry, he tells her that she was passed

over for lack of experience. and he

reviewed all of the videos and

thought she needed it.

He's like it was very compelling.

You had the perkiest tits.

Those dough eyes. And oh my god, I will

say the number of times she's like, it's

so hard being me. My boobs grew two cup

sizes when I was in high school. Over

the summer, people started a rumor that

I got a boob job, but I couldn't help

it. Oh, I just have such ample breast.

It's like the energy of it. I'm like,

are you [ __ ] kidding me?

Oh no, my boobs are too perky for my

frame.

No one will ever want me with breasts as

large as mine.

Who would want me with these inevitable

back issues?

Right.

Who could possibly find perky double D's

attractive?

I'll die an old maid with back problems.

Like

if it it doesn't matter if it's a boob,

they're excited. Very much so. Yeah.

Like I It's not even sexual at that

point.

No, they No. No.

Wherever you were about to take that, I

saw you walk it back.

Like I saw it in your eyes, Rick. Oh,

nope. Not Not that sentence.

No.

Um,

she does. He like he's like says that

her video was compelling and he then

they don't really have a larger

conversation about it at that time

because it's midax lesson,

right? But it's kind of understood that

he knows that she's kind of full of [ __ ]

and approved her anyway.

Yes. Like he knew she did not have the

full experience that they were looking

for,

right?

And still decided to hire her. Um, and

as so like they're working for a while

and like get into a good rhythm with it

and then suddenly like Henry kind of

freezes and he's like, "Abby, I need you

to get in the truck and she like hears

it in his voice." So she like doesn't

question it. Immediately like moves to

the truck. He gets in as well. They

close the doors and a grizzly bear is

wandering out

and she's like, "It's brown lay down."

Right. Yeah. Per our last episode, if

it's black attack, if it's brown, lay

down.

Yeah. So, they're in the car.

They are. And they're watching the bear

kind of meander around where they've

been.

Sure.

And Abby like makes eye contact with the

bear and she's like, "I don't think

you're supposed to do this, but I'm too

mesmerized and terrified to like look

away." So, like she's like making eye

contact with the grizzly and it like

charges the truck.

Sure.

So, she's terrified. Scrambles like into

Henry's lap because they had been

working for so long when they had still

been out of the truck. She'd like taken

off a couple layers

and so she's like, "Oh no, I think

there's turkey jerky in my vest pocket."

And then Henry's like, "Turkey?" Like

not even beef. Like he like seems to

have a problem with

If you're going to have jerky, have

beef, [ __ ] What?

I like that that's his problem in this

moment. And he's like, "Your jerky

preferences are questionable."

But uh the bear grabs her vest and like

her sweatshirt and like is trying to

like figure out the jerky. And it is

kind of a funny moment because her and

Henry are sitting in the car and she's

looking at the grizzly branch like it

must be so hard with those big paws to

open the jerky.

Oh honey.

Yeah. And Henry's like so as soon as I

start the engine he's going to run off.

So we're just going to do that.

We're going to drive back. We're done

with cutting wood for the day.

We've been out here long enough. Thank

you.

Yes. Um

but as that's happening

the before they drive off, she's in his

lap still because she was scared from

the grizzly bear.

Sure.

Yes. And uh

she

starts to feel his boner a little bit

underneath her and is like a oh wow

chopping wood.

Yes. I don't I think she's too new to

the scene to even be able to make a pun.

Yeah. We can't we can't make

my real issue with the book.

Yeah.

She there was so much room for more puns

that weren't taken because of her

insecurity.

Yeah.

Just missing out. Really? If

I had a nickel for every time

my insecurity lost me out on a pun.

I'd actually probably have a couple over

the years, you know?

Yeah. Just like like a like a quarter.

Yeah. I'm probably still going to say

the pun anyway because the pun is worth

the embarrassment.

your face. This is where we're

different.

That was good.

Listen, you know me. If it

that was really

If it's for a joke, I'll probably do it

at some level, even if it comes back to

bite me in the ass. Did I ever tell you

the story

of the time we were testing mattresses

at Sam's Club?

No.

But I want to know more cuz that's a

hell of a setup. So I was at and mind

you, I was an adult. I could legally

drink at this point. I might have owned

my own house. This was like I had a

master's degree. This I was not a child.

An adult,

unfortunately. Yes. Because

so the Sam's Club in Hendersonville,

Tennessee that we were in had all of uh

the mattresses like lined up vertically,

but then there was one that was out just

leaning against them. So this was not

like a mattress showroom.

You were not choosing the most

comfortable one. But my mom is shopping

for whatever she's shopping for, right?

And I look at my dad, I'm like, "How can

you tell if the mattress is soft?" And

he goes, "I don't know how." And so I

thought it would be funny. I drop my

purse on the ground and I just take off

running full speed and like full like

splat myself on this mattress. You belly

flop on it. I belly flop on this

vertical mattress. Hilarious. 10 out of

10. No notes. Comedic gold. So about 10

minutes after that. Uh we're at the next

section and there's still more

mattresses lined up. None are like

laying vertic like laying with a flat

surface for you to splat on. Um, and

they're all lining up vertically. And my

dad goes, "Chelsea, how can you tell if

those are

soft?" So, I'm like, "Fuck it. I'm here

for the joke." So, I drop my purse and I

take a off running at this full wall of

mattresses, like all stacked standing

vertically against each other. Um, they

were box springsings, not mattresses.

They did not have any of the heft and I

You dominoed them.

I luckily I didn't do Oh, okay. Good.

Cuz it was the side. Hannah,

like four mattresses, I hit the side.

They all went back like a foot and

smacked into the wall. I've never seen

my father laugh harder than he did in

that moment. It took me so long to catch

my breath. I was like, I will never

financially recover from this moment.

And yeah, like even like in the last

couple years, my dad has been like, how

can tell if the mattress is soft? I'm

like, shut up. [ __ ] off, man.

It was one time.

One time is too many times, Chelsea.

Really?

Oh, that's so good.

The physical comedy of it did not work

in my favor in that situation, but here

we are.

So, as she's sitting in Henry's lap, um

he asks if she told anyone about that

like first night and she's like, "No,

like I was really embarrassed." Yeah.

And he's like, "About what?" And she's

like, "Well, like I said all kinds of

kind of like stupid crazy things about

my ex- fiance and other things." And

he's like, "Other things like asking me

to [ __ ] you."

She's like,

"Good." Right. Yes.

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe, maybe that one

that was on the list now that you

mention it.

And then there's like they're like

obviously she's in his lap. They're very

close. Intense eye contact during this

and like she's like feeling his boner

and she's like I don't know what to do

with this situation. Like this is my

boss. We're cutting wood. There was a

pair. This is not a work question, but

he is still my boss. So like

So is it a work question?

She just goes, "This feels like a test.

And he's like, "Maybe it is."

Oh my god.

Right. And you're like, "Oh my gosh."

Also, I'm like, "Hey, Henry, I just need

you to use more direct communication."

Seriously. Yeah.

Like, that's my frustration. She's too

insecure. You're not direct enough.

Yep.

It would solve a lot of issues.

You're playing these weird [ __ ] games

where you're like, "I know, but I won't

tell you." Like, why? Why are you doing

that?

Yes.

Well, and so they drive back and she's

like, "Okay, so like am I on outdoor

crew?" And he's like, "No,

still don't know.

Have fun on housekeeping." But like that

is where you are. And she's like, "I

don't know why you guys want me on

housekeeping." She's like, "I don't know

if I've ever successfully made a bed."

And under his breath, he's like, "Good

to know." But like damn it. Like Aby's

not helping herself keep this job.

Yeah.

Mhm.

So that afternoon she goes to get her

uniform and like figure out her

assignment and she's been assigned as

the liaison for penthouse one. So she's

not like a lowgrade lowlevel

apprentice changing the sheets for the

standard rate rooms.

Yes. She is uh the liaison.

Sure.

For penthouse one. Um, and her roommates

are kind of like, "What the hell?" Like,

"You need years of experience to like

get that position." And it's very clear

she's just a sweet

idiot,

dough-eyed girl who like has no idea

what's happening.

So, when she gets to penthouse one the

next morning to start her day, guess who

lives in penthouse 1, Hannah?

Oh my god. Is it Henry?

It might be. Yeah. Oh my.

So, it's not a typical guest. That's

where Henry stays when he is here.

And he tells her that uh he actually

wants her to be his personal assistant.

That that's kind of been like the end

goal with hiring the whole time.

Um that he's like Yeah. He's like from

the first night and how that went like I

wasn't sure. So that was part of like us

going out

yesterday morning.

Sure. Needed to gauge your work ethic

when you were sober.

Sure.

um but like that that's the position

that he wants to offer her and that

that's what she was really hired for and

she's like I don't okay like sure I'm

here I I can I guess I can do these

things and I forget if it's at this

point but at one point she's kind of

like I don't know if I like have all of

the qualifications to do everything with

this job and he does then like point out

he's like well you organized all of

those events for the church he's like we

called the pastor and asked like I

talked to your aunt at the diner. Like

you were like a very successful server

there. So like he's like no like I I

checked your references and like this is

not beyond you.

Right. Well, it's one of those where

it's like you're not understanding that

those skills generalize to other things.

Yes, those are transferable skills

1,000%.

So, when she is going to agree to take

the position, Belinda shows up to the

penthouse with her new employee

agreement. Um, and then Abby goes to

essentially like at the front door of

each penthouse, there's a side door

that's like where the staff enters and

they have their own little like nook, if

you will, that's like their p like it

has a desk and a spot for them to like

be able to be there on call

if they aren't helping with something.

Mhm.

So, she goes and is kind of in the nook

and is hearing like Belinda and Henry

have this conversation and like Belinda

is just like, "What the hell?" Like,

"Right, are you sure about this?"

Yes. She's here for her job

qualifications and previous experience.

That's what you hired her for,

right? Not that virginal [ __ ]

situation.

Yes. Like, it's like very much like,

"Why did you hire her? Are you guys

[ __ ]

and like Henry.

So, the rumors have already started now.

I don't even know if they've they've

made it that far so much as like Belinda

has worked for Henry for a long time.

Also, at one point like it's alluded to

that like they had a trrist when opening

a hotel in Istanbul,

right?

She's clocking his pattern and she's

questioning it.

Yes. And there's also kind of it's like

alluded to like there have been issues

with previous assistants and employees

and so like things that you're like not

100% sure of but you're like

sure seems shady.

Yes. And in Henry's conversation with

Melinda, he's like I'm not into insecure

little farm girls who need to get over

their ex like whatever it is. But it's

like very much like Aby's like

overhears it and is like, "Well, okay.

I've been sufficiently put in my place.

Maybe

good to know.

Maybe he didn't have a boner." Like not

that, but like just

that like Yeah. Maybe he isn't as kind

as I thought he was or maybe he doesn't

see me as an asset the way that he said

he did or whatever.

A little bit of that for sure.

Um, and so then he takes off because he

is opening a brand new hotel and has

[ __ ] to do. And so she's organizing his

email and doing all of that stuff. And

there's a knock on the door. And when

she opens it, it's actually a delivery

for her. and she had ordered a

replacement vest and a replacement like

sweatshirt like from her college that

like had like the school like logo on it

and even put turkey jerky in the pocket

of the vest and like had it like

delivered

to her. That's very cute.

Yes. So you're like, "Okay, well that

was

mixed signals."

Well, and I think in reading because I

know once again read it years and years

ago, reread it this week and I think

reading it through a different lens. I

had I also had more sympathy for him as

like yeah you are opening a

multi-million dollar property.

Sure. that is part of a larger

organization that has tons of insanely

successful hotels that like your goal is

to take this over from your father.

You approach the world differently than

a naive farm girl

like right. And so I'm like yeah, you

have to be stoic sometimes. like you

you aren't always going to be as warm in

those moments and just those moments

where I'm like, "Yeah, when this is the

world you've grown up in versus

being a small town farm girl world that

you've grown up in, like

I think it gave me a

more fair lens through viewing him as

well. I'm like, you're not a great

communicator

and

we can own that."

Yes. And like no one in this situation

is a great communicator.

Yeah.

And you're like the situations that have

brought you here like you you've had to

be stoic by nature.

And so like someone who's suddenly like

demanding like

vulnerability and warmth from you as

like a

Right.

He's like I I just wanted a hot

assistant.

Right.

Right. Like

I just wanted to see those tits

that are too big for her little body.

Poor thing. How will she ever

too petite

for breasts as ample as this?

For breast as ample.

Such a time as this.

Abby spends all day coordinating her new

position. Um, at one, okay, this is not

really that important, but at one point

in the morning, we find out he's colorb

blind. So she like is helping him like

choose his tie and like will like help

him like pick socks and things like

that.

So then she spends the whole day

organizing his emails and scheduling his

meetings and then at one point tells him

she color coded his calendar

and it's never discussed. Like I'm like

[ __ ] you know he's color blind.

And even if I'm generous in saying it's

just a red green color blind, you chose

red and pink in your calendar reorg

which is a problem for

seems aggressive

girl,

but it's not addressed at all. And I'm

like I'm vastly overthinking this. This

is

But I like it. I get it.

It's It's why we're here.

It's why we're here.

Um,

Henry seems to be impressed with like

how much she's kind of accomplished and

organized, but he is also like, I need

this reservation changed. I need my suit

dry clean. And so, I think he like has

these moments of like warmth with her

and then he's like, also, you are my

personal assistant,

right?

I need you to do these things. And so,

the number of times in this book that

like he's just like telling her to do a

task and she's like, "Oh, no. Does he

hate me now?" Like he didn't like look

at me when he I'm like, "Girl, he just

needs the suit dry cleananed. It's not

that [ __ ] deep,

right?

Like just just do your job. It'll be

fine. It's not that deep.

I know you're trying to get it and so is

he, but that doesn't mean the suit

doesn't still need to be dry cleananed.

That is still what you're getting paid

for,

right? you're not getting paid for the

other stuff that quite frankly you

haven't even realized you want to do all

of yet because you're still working

through this repression you grew up

with,

right?

Um, so as he's like, I need this like

reservation moved up, this, that, and

the other, he like goes to hop in the

shower and she goes to work on those

things. And then as she's finishing up

those requests and is like about to like

shut down for the day, she sees him in

the shower and he's masturbating and she

is a voyer

clearly.

Yeah, cuz she's watching him as well.

And it's like, this is also hot. I

shouldn't be doing this. He is my boss.

I should not be watching my boss

masturbate right now. And yes, Abby,

that is the correct answer. Good

insight.

You should not be watching.

Where's the impulse control?

Not there.

Yeah, the insight.

Great.

Um, the impulse control poor.

Yeah. If we're doing a mental status

exam.

Yeah. For this moment, because generally

insight also poor.

Yes.

But in this moment,

you nailed it, kiddo.

Intact.

Yeah.

Enough.

Um, but as he comes, they make eye

contact and she's like, "Oh, fuck." And

so good.

Yeah. She bolts and just like takes off

and is like, "Well, I guess I'm done for

the day." And like runs,

"Good night."

Yes. Sleep well.

At the dorm that uh that evening, all of

the roommies are kind of like debriefing

their day. She's talking about how she's

now his PA, but there's also like some

element of

I think Tilly is the roommate who also

works in housekeeping

and is like I would kill for that job.

Like

yeah, it's a cushy gig.

Yeah. So, I think there's also like some

of her roommates being like, "What the

[ __ ] Like, you don't have this

experience. You were just hired for what

position?

What is happening here?" Right.

Um, but then they're all also kind of

gossiping about some former employees

and some tea they've heard over over

time working at different wolf hotels in

different cities.

So, Till's telling them about like one

employee once like hit on Henry

and like handcuffed herself to his bed

and he like walked in and like called

security. that when security got there,

she tried to say like he handcuffed her

to the bed. They're like, "Well, that

was clearly quickly dismissed because we

have security footage that shows

otherwise." Right.

Right.

Uh but then they're talking about how

like a former like personal assistant of

his was uh fired for hitting on him and

Aby's just like, "I just watched him

masturbate. I'm going to lose my job so

soon."

She's like, I feel like this is

potentially a step further than just

casually hitting on him.

Yes. Like I didn't handcuff myself to

the bed, but I also didn't just like I

found the middle

unintentionally, but I I found it. Well,

and so like the whole next day as she's

going through work, like she's assuming

she's going to get fired and like

every time like he's like text her,

reaches out, she's like, "This is it.

This is the moment."

Oh god. Yes. And so she he reaches out

and like she gets a text or whatever,

but it's however he communicates to her

where she thinks she's about to get

fired and he's like, "Can you schedule a

massage for this evening?" She's like,

"Oh, yeah, that's no problem at all."

Uhhuh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I'm not fired. Okay, sure.

Do you want me to schedule the massage

and then be fired?

Yes. Very like, she's like, "At no point

am I not getting fired in this journey?"

1,000%.

So, the massage therapist shows up at

Penthouse 1. His name is Michael. He's

getting his table set up. He's also tall

and attractive. It is noted multiple

times in this book, everyone who works

at this hotel is

hot.

Very attractive. Yes.

A certain caliber of aesthetic is

required here. Yes.

So, as he's setting up the chair or his

table, they're kind of talking and he's

also from Pennsylvania and like from a

close nearby small town, like not the

same one as her, but she's like, "Oh,

I'm from this place." She's like, "Oh, I

used to like play basketball against

them every season." Like she maybe I was

at a game. And then she's like, "What

year did you graduate?" And it was like

he's like 28 and she's 21. And she's

like, "Probably wasn't at a game, but

like glad that you know where I'm from."

That's so cool. Right. And she's like

rubbing a sore spot just like on her

shoulder as they're talking. And he's

like, "Oh, are you a little sore?" She

like, "Yeah, like I was like we were

chopping wood yesterday and

tweaked it."

Yeah. Sort of. And he's like, "Oh, like

let me help." So she pops up on the

table, isn't laying down, but Yeah. is

like he's rubbing her back as Henry

comes in and is clearly

not thrilled,

unacceptable

about this. He's like, "What? No, only I

can [ __ ] my assistant.

I should be the only one working out

kinks

with my assistant."

Yeah.

Right. Um

and so when Henry comes in, he's like

immediately like, "Abby, can I speak to

you in the other room?" And she's like,

"Well, this is when I get fired."

I knew it. She's like, "He just wanted

me to work the whole day."

Yes. But and he's like, "I don't want

other people touching you." She's like,

"Why?" And he's like, "They're not good

enough for you." Like, it's just this

like weird,

right?

He's clearly feeling territorial, but

like not putting all of those words to

it.

Yeah.

And the tension is just like building

during their conversation and they're

getting closer and closer together. And

he undresses for the massage because

Michael's outside. So he like went into

the room to undress and like talk to his

assistant. It was kind of like

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Efficiency.

Yes. But then the conversation he's

having with his assistant is like,

"Don't let anyone else touch you."

Right.

Oh, is that my penis? Like truly

like what?

Well, and as they're like standing super

close together and he's now naked

because he's or stripped down at some

level because he's getting stripped down

for this massage. Aby's feeling a little

bold and she's like, "That's certainly a

hard [ __ ] for an insecure little girl."

Abby,

no.

And like Henry like processes like the

Oh, [ __ ] She like overheard that

conversation with Belinda and was like,

"Well, like sometimes I like have to say

things I don't mean."

What? Like what is

just the most weird gaslighty [ __ ]

Like

what?

Don't say anything then.

Yeah. What?

But like denying it to one person to

then be like, "Oh, well like I No, I

didn't mean it. I just like had to say

that.

I just had to say it to Belinda." But

like the truth is

is it or does the truth change depending

on who you're talking to?

Yeah. Well, and then during the massage

he like keeps her there and has her like

debriefing him on the day during the

massage. So she's sitting there as he's

naked on the table getting rubbed down

by Michael and he's asking her like

different questions about the day. But

then also like with that because the all

of the staff is obviously there getting

ready but like the launch is like this

coming weekend and so he's asking about

like who like when are certain people

arriving

and like asking her like the details of

like what do you know about this person

that person just like making sure she's

she's prepared as well. But in that like

one of the people coming is like a super

hot reporter who's sing and he like

who's single and is specifically noted

she's single and he's like all right

well we'll send flowers to our room and

I'll write the note

like the welcome note and Aby's like the

[ __ ] But then there's another person

who's coming who's like a middle-aged

dude and he's like yeah if you could

just like write a note saying good to

see you again. Make sure the handwriting

is not too girly. And she's like, "So

you write personal notes to the hot

people?"

Yeah.

That are single and

Yeah.

So like it is very mixed messages on

Mhm.

how we're navigating all of this.

Uh as the massage is wrapping up and

like actually the massage might still be

going, but she's wrapping up for the

day. Michael asks if like he's like,

"Hey, like when I'm done with this, I'm

off for the day. Like if you'd like want

to hang out at all."

Sure. Let's go get a drink or whatever.

Yeah.

Although like Henry's still on the table

at this point, so Aby's like, "Uh, maybe

another time." Like I'm I'm pretty

tired. Gonna call it a day.

Yeah.

I don't know. It just all feels

unnecessary.

Yeah.

Like this isn't how we had to navigate

this situation,

right? Like let's do this as awkwardly

as possible.

Mhm.

Like there are a hundred other ways this

could have gone that would have been

less weird.

Yes.

So the next day, Abby gets called to a

lunch meeting in the restaurant at the

hotel where like Henry's meeting with

lots of investors that they like been

out doing a tour earlier that day sort

of energy. And her roommate Rachel is

the server who's serving the table who,

as we've said, everyone is super hot,

right? And also more experienced. So I'm

assuming Rachel's doing just fine at her

job. And so when she goes over like all

of the guys are kind of augling her and

Abby sees Henry augling her as well and

like immediately like

is like oh like I feel jealous. I don't

like him looking at someone else like

that. And just

right

kind of acknowledging that it like

evoked unhappy feelings within her.

Sure. Like there are feelings here I

don't fully understand or maybe even

have a right to because he's my boss. He

hasn't made any claim on me or

given me any indication that he's even

into me.

We've had some

tensionfilled moments, but like outside

of that, nothing's really

right

happened. Yeah.

And Henry notices Abby and like sees it

on her face and calls her on it

afterwards and is like, "What were you

upset about?" And is like, but like in a

very public like in like the lobby, like

not like in a private room, like not

that other people are in their

conversation, but he chose to

easily overheard.

Exactly. Um and like kind of rips into

her a little bit and is like, "Please

don't let your your crush get in the way

of your job."

Um,

yeah. Which hard words for Abby to

Yeah. Like a little bit hateful honestly

to do that in front of other people

where it could be over overheard and not

like hey listen I know this is like your

first job postgraduation or whatever

like summer whatever like I know maybe

this is new for you. I've pulled you

into a job that you may not fully

understand.

And that doesn't mean that anything

romantic is going to go on between us.

I'm your boss. Bear that in mind. Well,

but also such mixed messages when I'm

like, "Yeah, the night before you had

your hard dick

like

at one point you had her sitting on your

hardened dick and like

right

kind of kept her there intentionally in

that moment, right?" So, like you are

getting mixed messages, bro.

Yeah, definitely.

Uh he ends up he's in meetings the rest

of the day sort of energy and like sends

her it might just be a text that's like

yeah you can like end early but like

it's like they don't really like see

each other the rest of the day. So she

goes back to the dorm and is like

talking to the roommates and the the

roommates all work in their different

departments and one of them is an

esthetician and is like oh my gosh

girl just let me out your eyebrows for

like 3 seconds like world the difference

right. Yes. So they end up deciding to

like do a little like afternoon makeover

because they are off shift and half the

time. So like they do her eyebrows, they

call like another girl who works in the

salon and have her do like some like a

color. They do another call another girl

for a cut. Um, and it does come out

because they are using like the hotel

salon for all of these services that

they called Henry and like got it

approved and Henry is also covering the

cost for all of it. So, he was like,

"Yeah, no problem." Like, I'll I'll

cover it. It's fine. Um, and then at the

end, the roommate who is the waxer takes

her into one of the hotel rooms so that

she can do her bikini line. Um, but when

she does that, there are three guests

that have like just walked in and are

like in the lobby and like see it

happen. So like they see employees like

go back when they're like waiting and

which obviously is going to like come

up. Right.

Right.

Um the next morning they're having their

like standard like upper cabinet meeting

of employees and just like all talking

about all of the different things and uh

Belinda brings up that a complaint came

in about employees using the spa for

personal needs when clients were waiting

for services

and like Abby like the blood drains from

her face and she like grabs Henry's leg

under the table and he's like okay like

we'll look into it but like doesn't like

make it a bigger thing in that moment.

Uh, also worth noting that right before

that in this conversation, apparently

Rachel, the same roommate server,

had she messed up some order for a guest

and then was like served him like a lot

of free scotch that night to make up for

it and then went to his room after she

was off shift that night and they were

like, "That's against her code of

conduct. She's out." and like

immediately turn around and have this

conversation about like employees using

services

for personal reasons.

So Aby's like, I really am going to get

like wasn't watching him masturbate, but

like something's I'm I'm going to lose

this job,

right?

Um

and so Henry is like clearly not

thrilled and like this wasn't cleared.

And so when they're having a

conversation about it though, like his

whole thing is because he was trying to

figure out what was going on in the room

because he was like, "Well, and how long

were they using it?" And they're like,

"Oh, they were in there for like

whatever it was." Like it was

10 15 minutes or whatever.

Yeah. He's like, "So not enough for

legs. Eyebrows don't take that long.

What was this?" And so then he's getting

super jealous cuz when he talks to Abby

and he's like, "Was this for Michael?"

And she's like, "Who?

What?" Right. Like the massage guy.

Yes.

What?

Like and then he just like leaves for

his next meeting.

Ju Yeah. Like he's not happy with that.

But also

I don't know.

Right.

It's a weird tens tensionfilled scene.

Yeah.

But like the whole book is just weird

tension of different types.

And I think that's why you probably

didn't love it because you just go from

like one weird tense cringy situation to

the next.

It's all cringe for me. And

yeah, there's a lot of cringe.

Oh god.

Because it's it's so much like she's so

naive.

Yes.

And he's so egocentric. He can't see

past his own stuff. And so neither one

of them is fully communicating.

And it's just like a ve like

like I think the thing is clearly they

work through it at some level but I'm

like reading I'm like it could have been

easier.

Yeah. By a lot.

It didn't have to be this.

Yeah.

So all that said, she is cleaning

penthouse one that afternoon.

Mhm.

Henry is on a boat with some investors.

I don't know. Some [ __ ] that he does.

Sure. He's frolicking about. Who knows?

As you do as a billionaire.

Yep. And you know, because her uniform

is too constricting for cleaning

purposes, she's taken off the liaison

pencil skirt

and nylons. And so she's just cleaning

his penthouse in her blouse and

underwear.

Okay.

the deep sigh.

Yep.

And uh Henry, the boat tour ended early

and so he comes home early and she's

like, "I thought you were on a boat."

And he's like one of the guys was sick

or had something. I don't know. But like

they came back early and he decided to

get off the boat and he's

doesn't really matter. I'm here now.

Yes. uh and he's clearly enjoying the

show of being home early and she's like

th this wasn't supposed to happen like

that. Um so they're having a

conversation and he asks again why she

looked upset earlier

and she said that she wanted him or

looked upset yesterday, whatever. I

don't know the timeline. She wanted him

to look at her the way he looked at

Rachel. And he was like,

"I figured Rachel was one of the

roommates that you were watching." And I

thought that was super hot and I was

actually thinking of you watching.

Like

your face, your face right now is

incredible.

Like, okay. All right.

Yeah. So, like that's why I had that

look because I was thinking of you

watching her, not because I

was into that

was thinking of her.

So, I think the other thing that I

struggled with with this book is that

every single one of his behaviors is

like massive red flag. If you know

anything at all, you leave if any one of

these things comes up or I do, right? I

shouldn't speak for others. I would be

like, "Uh, no." Like, "I don't think I'm

gonna be doing that. I think you're full

of shit." Like, pretty transparently

you're full of [ __ ]

But this is the 1 in 10 million. That is

like true. Like like that we're supposed

to believe this red flag is actually

magenta. All right. But here's what

here's what I'm going to say, though.

So, what if he was augling Rachel?

Well, right. But like

I'm like,

you're not together?

I just

Yeah.

It's just

I think the we're not together, but we

each have these weird tensionfilled

things. Like, did you shave that? Like,

did you wax it for Michael? You're like,

wait, what? You're not together,

right?

Did he augo Rachel? Why? It doesn't

matter. You weren't together. And if he

was,

it still might not matter

together. It's like none of no just no

none of it's good.

Also, as

like they're having this conversation,

they've been like getting closer and

it's been escalating. So like when by

the time he's telling her like he

thought it was hot that he was thinking

about Abby watching

like his hand is like between her legs

obviously. Yes. Right. Um, and he ends

up like pulling her back onto the bed

and she's sitting on his lap and they're

like facing the mirror and her legs are

spread on like either side of his

thighs.

He strips her fully down. He fingers

her. There's a lot of dirty talk. But

it's also like, "Have you ever come

before by touching yourself? Were you

thinking of me?" And I'm also like,

"It's been like 4 days."

and she

was with Jed for 6 years.

So I I don't imagine that if she has

been previously touching herself, it's

been about you, my dude.

Conveniently, she did touch herself that

night she watched the roommates and it

was about him. So I guess he gets his

win. But like,

bro, the timeline here. Yes, the hubris.

Hubris.

Uh she comes, he strips off his clothes

and then walks her through his [ __ ]

preferences.

Uh and then says they'll like Henry's

like like she's clear like what what

next? And he's like we're going to rest

before like we don't need to like do

everything immediately but like okay.

Yeah. Yeah. We're appreciate the

enthusiasm.

Yeah. we're moving forward. And like

I did take it to be like a kind thing

where he's like,

"Yeah,

he might be asking her like, "Have you

ever masturbated before?" But he also

seems very aware of you are a virgin.

You do not have this experience. Like

I'm not just trying to like make this

a painful or negative experience for

you.

I'm not just here to get off. Like we

both should be enjoying ourselves and

like, you know, all that good stuff.

Well, and I could be misremembering

this, but at one point when he's

fingering her, it might be in the scene,

he intentionally like uses additional

pressure to break her highmen to make it

less painful for future them as like

kind of a side comment that's thrown out

there.

Interesting.

Yes. Um,

he texts her that night checking in and

he's like, "Hey, like how are you?" And

she's like

confused.

What is happening?

And his response is, "You touched me in

my no square."

Square. My no square. Did you not

There's a song.

Never mind. I'm not I can't do it.

I I'm I might need you to because I like

my my no spot. My no no zone. I think

square is really the part that I'm

getting stuck on.

There's a song that goes stop, don't

touch me there. This is my no square.

I'm not going to sing it.

Is it a song for children or adults?

So, I was told it's for children when I

was like in high school. People were

like, "Oh, in Georgia, like we learned

that song in elementary school." I don't

know if that's true. I don't know if

that's true because

we went to school in Florida. You'd

think we'd have something weirder.

Instead, we just zigzag run. There's an

alligator.

We just learned about how to get away

from an alligator. We did not learn

about the no square. We did not.

So,

I don't know is the answer.

I don't like the the attachment of

square. That's honestly my biggest hold

up with it is is the shape.

Why is it a square? There's nothing

square like happening.

Oh my god.

[Applause]

All right. So, she's confused.

She's a little confused,

as are we all.

The next morning, she gets to the

penthouse. Uh, and he's like wrapping up

one meeting and then has another meeting

scheduled and cancels it.

Um, to go down on her, you know,

and then to take her virginity

subsequently.

Priorities.

Got to warm it up.

You got to warm up that square. You

know,

it's a box, silly. It's a 3D square.

That's your argument

for don't dumb [ __ ] That's

Don't touch me there. That's my no

square. It's a box.

This is a geometry quiz question.

That's the dumbest [ __ ] I've ever said.

I loved it.

Never stop. That was incredible.

Um, my notes say she comes with

penetration and a little stimulation

very easily for her first time,

you know? Right.

I'm like, I

this if it's an overshare, you don't

have to do it. But if you orgasmmed the

first time you had sex,

penetrative sex,

you orgasmed from penetrative sex the

first time you had it, can you let us

know if that's not too much to ask?

Yeah, I don't need the details. I don't

need the logistics.

But but did you

just let us know what happened because I

what? Yeah, cuz I gotta say

I have questions

and depending on your feedback, those

questions might need to be directed to

my doctor, right? Like

I'm I might find out I'm not normal in

this situation,

right? Well, if one of us would be, then

touche. At least we can find a doctor

together to go ask these questions.

Normal sample that we're taking here is

me and you. two person sample and we are

very similar people so we

we can generalize these results pretty

confidently. Thank you.

So after they bone Henry's like did that

clear things up?

No. Still no dude.

Still not quite frankly. No, Henry.

She's still not 100% sure.

Worse now

cuz now she's [ __ ] her boss that

she's already afraid is going to fire

her for anything and everything.

Right.

Right.

And so he kind of leaves this

conversation at, and here's an exact

quote. You'll spend the next four months

getting over your ex and [ __ ] your

boss. I'll spend the next four months

[ __ ] my assistant.

Still no, dude. Does that mean we're

exclusive? Does that mean that there is

a firm expiration date? This is a a an

extended fling?

Yes. Who can say? Who knows? He does. I

would guess

he in his head he has a clear way of how

this is going, but what he's

communicated is like, well, you're a

seasonal employee and we'll have a

seasonal moment.

We'll have a seasonal bang,

but exactly to your point, there's no

conversation about exclusivity, about

if it like is 4 months like the is there

a time limit on this? Like there are

some additional questions there. Um, and

then he also is like reminding her in

this conversation not to take his curt

tone when they're like out in business

settings uh personally, right?

That he's that's him maintaining his

professional

demeanor and mask, but

Right. I have to pretend to have

professional boundaries when other

people are looking. I'll take my pants

off when we are behind closed doors.

Yep.

The next day, Henry has like a threehour

photo shoot. Um, but unfortunately they

did miss the details of the photo shoot

cuz he was going down on her when the

email was sent at 7:00 a.m. So, they are

scrambling to like get everything kind

of ready for that. Um, she's helping him

pick his outfits, which is kind of just

a cute scene.

Sure.

Um, although

it's a cute scene, the scene does end

with her giving him a [ __ ] and him

tearing her clothes off her body so he

can come on her.

Cute.

And once again, this is yet yesterday

she was a virgin

who planned to save herself for

marriage.

Mhm.

In her small town of Pennsylvania.

Mhm.

Right. So like

Mhm.

There's a lot of processing that needs

to be done here.

Yeah. Yeah.

So I will say like Aby's insecurity can

get kind of annoying to read.

Understandable though.

And Yeah. I'm like, if we just had some

clear conversations, it really wouldn't

have to be this way. Um, the photo shoot

goes well. They the photographer wants

to take some photos on uh Henry's boat,

but unfortunately Abby has some

seasickness that they had not prepared

for. So, like she goes to actually like

lay down uh downstairs in the boat. And

as she's laying down, uh she gets a text

from Jed being like, "Hey, how are you?

heard you got a fancy new job.

And she's like, "Yep, making a lot of

money. My boss is super rich." Like just

Banny has a big dick. Like,

right. And then he like sends another

like, "Oh, so like what are you what all

are you doing for him?" Like, and so she

taking his big dick

and minutes for his meetings. Those are

my two tasks.

[ __ ] and tracking the agenda for the

day.

Going to drop that down in my IDs

section.

I just make sure that [ __ ] are part

of the agenda. So really, it's one job.

[Laughter]

He Henry hears her laughing when she

like gets the text and she just like

puts her phone down. She's like, "This

is ridiculous."

Yeah.

And so Henry comes down to check on her

and he responds to the text and is like

a little

territorial and like

little curt.

Yeah. Like I forget exactly what it

says, but it's essentially

like it doesn't it still reads as though

it's from Abby, but like far more like

spicy than Abby would would send, right?

Uh Henry also told her that they had

docked at his grandparents' cabin

because he thought that like that might

help with the motion sickness.

Um which she thought was very sweet. So

the photographers out and like taking

photos of the property and they end up

[ __ ] on the boat. Uh they raw dog it

because they find out she's on birth

control. Well, they don't find out she

knows she's on birth control.

She had known that. Yeah.

Yes. It was more of Henry being like, "A

man, if I'd realized the situation was

going to present itself, I would have

brought a condom." And she's like, "No

need to bring a condom, my dude.

On you, man."

Yes.

I just had really heavy periods. So,

that always kills me in these books when

it's like, "Oh, no. I am on birth

control. I'm a virgin, but I take it to

regulate my cycle. It's like you can

just take it like you don't have to

explain it. But there's always some line

that's like well and he even like he has

a moment where she's like I'm on birth

control and like he kind of pauses and

he's like for your hormones and she's

like yeah

don't worry I was untouched. That was a

true blue highman you felt there. You

broke there with your fingers.

Sorry. I'm so sorry. Your face. Oh my

god. I'm so sorry.

So, after the photo shoot, they're back

at the penthouse and Abby gets a call

from her mom. She's not going to take it

because she's at work, but Henry's like,

"You can take the call. It's really not

that deep."

Um, and her mom, like,

the level of conservative Christian

rural guilt happening here did feel like

it tightened something in my chest a

little bit.

Yeah. uh like just guilting her about

like needing to come home. Does meant

like Jed has that Jezebel here like just

all of these

right

like oh well like if if you're not here

Jed will forget about you and Aby's like

he forgot about me when I was right in

front of him like what

me being physically present didn't

change this situation really.

Yeah. Like let's let's call a spade a

spade here on this one.

Yeah. He's a [ __ ] Well, and then

her mom is like, "Be careful with your

boss. Men like that only want one

thing." Like, just

do they do they only want one thing?

I'm pretty sure they want more than one

thing. I mean, that's on the list,

but there's other stuff.

Silver [ __ ] So, at least two things,

right?

And money. Three things.

Nailed it.

List.

What else do you need? Really? It's

definitely a draining phone call. Um,

and

she is like needing a little bit of

time. Henry has to go to a meeting, but

and she's like, "Okay, like what time do

I need to be here in the morning?" And

he's like, "No, not in the morning.

Like, I want you here when I get back

tonight."

And so she's like, "Oh, okay." Like

that's

kind of late, but okay.

Sexy. Okay. Like if that's more the

energy.

Mhm. So, she falls asleep on the couch

and when she wakes up, he's watching her

like has just like been sitting across

the room and she's like, "Oh, like how

long have you

when how long have you been here? When

did I fall asleep?"

And he's been there for like probably

like about an hour and it's clear he's

like wrestling with himself and like

feeling conflicted at some level,

right?

And he's like, "I don't want to like

taint you." And she,

"Bro, you already [ __ ] her." Well, and

she says she's like, "Maybe I want to be

tainted."

And is like giving him the opportunity.

Sure.

And he's clearly wrestling with the

decisions he's about to make, but like

she's clearly

on board.

Yeah.

Right.

So, he tells her to strip, tells her to

finger herself, and like so he can

watch, which like she's never done

before. It's like that's a large thing

in itself. He licks her. He [ __ ] her.

Like they have this whole thing and then

like

I did have it noted logistically. I had

a few questions about their setup there.

I was like, "Where's you said she was on

his shoulders. How

Oh, maybe I just figured that out." No,

I didn't. I still have questions. That's

okay. Um,

my notes say

they have very acrobatic sex.

Logistically, I have a few questions

here.

subtag. Likely user error.

I was like, I'm not going to blame Nina

West for this. No, this is user the

credit she deserves. Yeah.

But as soon as they're done, he like

immediately pulls out and is like, I'll

walk you back to your dorm sort of

energy. Like there's no affection,

there's no cuddling, no warmth. Yes. No

afterare. Just like very clearly,

right?

There's like a hard line there. like a I

called you an Uber like

a little bit.

Yeah. Like that's the energy.

Yeah. Like walks her back and then is

like I'll see you at 7:00 a.m. and she's

like okay.

Um so in the morning when she gets there

he's a bit distant.

Mhm.

Uh but also it's like now like the

weekend that like the hotel is like

about to launch. So like things are

ramping up and so he's saying his

family's getting there like his dad is

getting there that day. His brother's

getting there that day. the news are and

like reporters are coming for the launch

and that things will be different the

next few days and Henry asks like I can

trust you to be discreet right what we

had have will stay between us and so

she's like that

I noticed the grammatical change there

of past tense to present

little Freudian slip there yeah what you

doing

but she's like I know he's stressed like

she's like trying to be understanding

thing of all of it that she's like,

"Yeah, no, like I understand like it's

discreet this, that, and the other." Um,

he heads out and she starts sorting his

email for the day. And as she's sorting

through his inbox, there's an email that

like subject line confidential, which

she doesn't normally, she doesn't click

those, those are for him. Um but when

she goes to sort it, she accidentally

opened it instead and sees that it is

from a lawyer um

about the lawsuit happening with his

former assistant.

The handcuff one.

No, I don't think the handcuff one was

an assistant. Okay.

Uh this is the other one though that had

been like

hitting on him.

Yes. Reportedly Kira.

Um

allegedly. Well, and so what the email

reads is that Kira is turning down the

settlement and bringing criminal charges

for forced sexual intercourse.

And so Abby sitting there horrified, not

sure where to go and not sure who the

[ __ ] she's sleeping with and is like,

"What am I? Who is this? What am I

doing? What is happening here?"

And that's where the book ends.

Which I'll also say, I think I read all

four in one fell swoop.

Yeah. Pretty rapidly back to back, I

think. Yes. And so I didn't really like

remember where this one ended. I was

like, "Oh, honestly, there was a lot

more that I thought happened in the

first book than happened."

I was going to say I I remember a lot of

the other big plot points and I thought

like one or two of those was in the

first one. So,

no,

it feels like the first one was almost

like an extended prologue

really setting up. Yeah. knowing what's

to come in the rest of the series,

but also there are definitely some

cringy moments.

I'm like, I need her to be more secure

in herself.

Mhm.

I need Henry to be a better

communicator.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, all things considered, well, okay.

So, I will say this as well. I think

that if

if this was a college romance, right,

and she entered with this level of

like naivity or ignorance or whatever, I

might have been like approached it a

little bit differently. But like I think

the power dynamic between the two of

them being so imbalanced,

it's so imbalanced and she's part of

what was so painful, right? Is like

okay, so he's saying he has good

intentions, but like you better hope

that's true, sweetheart. Like you really

Yes.

Like holy [ __ ] Like

he's not a person you want to come want

to be coming of age with, you know?

Yes. And so I do think rereading like

looking at rereading it through the lens

of like it being a coming of age story

for her did help make it less

sure

cringey. But also on the flip side, he's

not the coming of age person.

No. No.

No. And I think that is a hard balance

to reconcile,

right? Cuz I'll say reading it this

time, I definitely like still felt the

cringe in so many moments, but I

trying to have more empathy for them as

characters was

also beneficial and being like, "Oh,

okay." Like,

I can see it.

Let's look at like, as you even kind of

said earlier, you're like, "Who was I as

a 21-year-old figuring all of this out?"

Right.

Right.

So yeah, I definitely thought more

happened in this one, but all things

considered,

it really is just like setting up the

next

the big stuff.

Several books. Yeah.

Yeah. So, what is the rating system for

this?

Glasses, docks,

massagees, blouses,

Michaels,

boats, fairies,

right? Like I don't actually have a

great

There isn't one

rating system here.

Brown bears. Grizzly bears.

Grizzly bears.

Grizzly bears.

Grizzly bears. Great.

Found it.

We did.

Um

I'm going to go like 10 grizzly bears.

Sure.

I was debating if I was going to go for

like a 100 grizzly bears and then I was

like, why?

So many grizzly bears.

No one needs that many grizzly bears.

No. Um, out of 10 grizzly bears, if I'm

just rating this book and not the whole

series.

Uhhuh.

I don't know. Probably like a a fiveish.

Four or five.

Okay. I was thinking four, but five

feels fair.

Yeah.

Yeah. Five feels fair.

Yeah. Like I I think it's

there the there are cringy moments that

very much hurt to read. Like reading the

scene where she's drunk at the beginning

where you're like, "This is clearly her

boss." Like you see where it's going is

so painful.

Um

if it were less cringe, I might be able

to rate it higher, but like I'm like,

"This is almost not enjoyable at

moments. I'm like I need to walk away. I

have secondhand embarrassment right

now."

Yeah.

Like out of too much.

Uh

so yeah, I feel like four or five to set

up the rest of the series. I would be

curious. Let us know if y'all want more

of this series. Um because I know a lot

of people really love it.

I know a lot of people

have mixed feelings about it, but it

definitely evokes emotions regardless,

right? It does.

Um so if if you want us to hop into the

rest of the series, holl at your girls.

Yeah. Let us know. I also just realized

I think part of it may also be that the

first time I read this I was in my very

late 20s

if not 30s already and being in my 30s

now I'm like oh honey like I just want

to help you like

yes

oh god like as a woman with maybe more

experience than you currently have. I

just so badly want to be like oh honey

let me help you. Let me let me take care

of this for you.

Please back away.

Right. Like I have a group of friends

that we often do what we call front

porch Fridays where we just get together

and have wine on somebody's front porch

and like rap and hang out. And one of

our front porch Friday friends brought

her daughter who was dating a jazz

guitarist and considering not taking a

job, her dream job to move to Korea so

that she could stay with this guy. And

we had like a full intervention with

this this child about like, "Sweetie,

no. No, not a jazz guitarist. Oh, [ __ ]

me. No, no. Say that.

We are very talented jazz guitarists.

We're not taking that away from anyone

at all. We aren't. And if you're new

into a relationship, you should not let

go of your dream job for someone.

For a 22year-old guitarist that looks

like he's 4 days past when he should

have washed his hair in every picture.

No, his brain's not fully developed. You

You can't turn down your dream job for

someone whose brain isn't developed yet.

So, moral of the story, I am driving my

friend to the airport this week to go to

Korea to visit her daughter. And I'm

like,

Abby needs a front porch Friday. She

needs an intervention with like older

women who have more experience to be

like, no.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

All right. Four and a half grizzly

bears. Don't ask what half. Not going to

tell you.

Let us know if you'd like us to continue

the series. Can't wait to see y'all next

time. Bye, smut [ __ ] Bye, smart

puppies.

Well, that's it for this week, Smut

[ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz

it sure was great for us. If you're

digging what we're doing, it would mean

a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and

review the show wherever you're

listening right now. Maybe tell that

sexy someone to lend us an ear. We love

you. We appreciate you. And we'll see

you next week. Stay sputddy.

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