Smut Club

Well, hello all you beautiful people.

You know what time it is.

Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and

everyone in between.

Gather around. Get you something real

nice to sip on and comfy to slip on.

Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's

your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah.

[Music]

[Laughter]

Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club.

I'm Hannah. And I'm Chelsea. And this is

the show where we are two licensed

mental health professionals who like to

daydream while reviewing romance novels

of varying caliber.

That was clean as [ __ ]

I really nailed the elevator pitch that

day.

You did. You did really

that day.

And then immediately it slipped through

our fingers. We were so close. We had

glory by the fingertips and it just I

read that book.

Okay. So last week or two weeks ago,

friend's birthday, a bunch of us are

hanging out

on somebody's front porch just kind of

drinking and hanging out, whatever. She

and I, for some reason, locked eyes

while I was accidentally doing like a

jerking off motion when I was trying to

describe the shape of something. And we

both just immediately froze and then

started laughing so hard. We were just

crying and nobody else. We were across

the group of people like everyone's

like, "What is happening?"

Literally like, "Do you guys need

something?" Or like, "Do you need some

water?" Like, "What is happening?" And

then it happened again about 20 minutes

later, but this time she did it. And she

had put a little like twist at the top

action. And I don't remember why like

what it was about.

You guys like I think she was talking

about like opening a jar of salsa or

something.

She was doing like

really make sure you got to get the head

on that salsa jar,

like a twisting motion. And she was

like, "Why does this keep happening to

us?" and she was like, "We're going to

have to switch seats. I can't I can't I

can't look at you anymore."

Okay. But I do feel like that's also why

you and I became friends at like because

we would be on work links and just like

things would happen and we would just

like lock eyes and be like, "Okay,

someone else like" like which was really

impressive cuz we were on Google Meet,

right? But we always knew because we

would always be messaging each other

immediately. like we like I could see

your like eyes pop up and then I just

see Hannah is typing.

I'm like, "Okay, not just me.

She got it. She got it."

The number of side chat groups we had

and all of the ridiculous names they

had.

Chamber of Secrets, man.

Oh, yeah. But then I would like screen

share with other people and someone was

like I was like yeah I like have a side

group chat going with like a couple

people and they went is it called the

Chamber of Secrets? And I'm like

no.

Well if I tell you it's not a Chamber of

Secrets anymore.

I plead the fifth. I'm like oh

um who can say? But it is a closed

group. Yep. This wasn't an invitation.

If you were fishing for one, you didn't

make the list. I'm so sorry. Thank you.

Thank you so much for your application.

Unfortunately, we were unable to

accommodate that request at this time.

If you ever think there's not a [ __ ]

talking side chat for your meeting, it

just means you didn't make the invite

list.

A

listen, some meetings I've made the

invite. Some like some meetings I

haven't.

100%.

Right. Yeah. And that's that's just the

way of life, you know.

Sometimes it's nice to be on the

outside.

Yes. Sometimes I don't want to know.

Yeah. I'm I'm going to let you guys have

that side chat. I'm going to keep the

chamber secrets. All right. All that

said, where are we at? What are we

doing? Why are we here?

We're here today for The Perfect Fit by

Satie Concincaid.

I feel like I've read something by her,

but I don't recall if this was it. You

you probably have there are a couple of

like well-known series whose names are

escaping me.

Sure.

Um

I want to say like the Ruthless New York

series or something like

Yeah, I did read that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Several. Yes. Um

mob bosses and [ __ ] right?

Sorry. Mob bosses and [ __ ] Yeah. So,

um, our prologue, we're we open with the

unholy trinity is what they are known

by. This is Xander, West, and Zeke. Um,

they

have all grown up together. There is

Sword Crossing in this book. Um, but

they have also been looking for a female

who can kind of come in and like

complete their

they want like the unicorn that's going

to like round out the circle we're in

close as it was.

Yes.

Um, and they're just really having a

hard time finding the right fit. Zeke

has some kinks that like not everyone is

really into. Um,

are these like kink kinks or is this

like he's sometimes into ass play and

spanking kinks that are like uh

like a lot of blood play?

Oh, okay. So, he's a diesel or an axle.

That should be his name.

Yes. Zeke is too casual of a name

for this man. But it is also feels like

the hardest of the three names.

It does actually. Now that you say it,

I'm like, I don't know. Zeke's pretty

hard, right? Unless we're talking about

the Zeke from Bob's Burgers, but that's

a separate separate one.

Or if you're like, it's short for

Ezekiel.

That's what I'm thinking, too.

Yeah.

Hear me. I love the name. I just do feel

like Zeke sounds a little harder

than Ezekiel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's not saying there aren't

very muscular, very strong people with

who go by Ezekiel. I'm not taking that

from you. Um, for all of the Ezekiel's

listening, I just really needed to

clarify.

Listen, you laugh. There's going to be

one person who feels so seen right now.

No, I'm just like, yeah, according to

all of our listener data, Ezekiel is the

name. I'm reading a book right now with

a female uh protagonist named Ezra. And

I had such a difficult time, but it's

addressed in the first chapter where she

was like, "My parents thought I was

going to be a boy. They had picked the

name Ezra. They were too lazy to change

their mind, so they left it."

Well, and I was just thinking of the

episode of Friends when Phoebe's like,

"If it's a girl, Phoebe. If it's a boy,

Fibo." Oh, and I was like, well, Ezra is

the masculine, so it's not like it was

Ezro. And then they put an A on it and

they're like, well, it's a girl now.

Well, it's a girl now.

So, the prologue of this book is

essentially um the Holy Trinity having

to let this girl kind of be like, "Hey,

this isn't really working out as we

hoped.

You're you're going to need to to move

on. Thank you for your application.

Yes.

Probationary period.

Well, and it's funny that you say

application because I while I don't

think there's actual applications, they

do seem to be very formal with the

process because they are well-known,

very lucrative.

That wasn't very welloff billionaires

who own like lots of media companies.

10 for Yeah.

Um WXZ

West Xander Zeke WXZ is their media

company.

Mhm.

Listen, if that's the worst thing,

does her name start with a Y?

No, her name is Lily.

Okay. Cuz I was like, if they're like if

they're like, "Oh,

wy

Z." Finally.

Finally.

The completion.

We've been waiting for Yisa this whole

time.

Yolanda.

Yolanda.

Yuna.

I went to middle school with a girl

named Diola

and I've tried to find her on social

media so many times because I loved her

so much and I've never been able to find

her again.

She had a very distinct first name and

last name. I'm not going to blast her

last name, but I have tried to find Yola

on several occasions.

Yola, if you're out there, hit us up. If

you grew up in the Clearwater, Florida

area and your name is Yola and you went

to middle school with a girl named

Chelsea,

it might be us. We might be the Yola and

Chelsea of this

odds. We can further, you know,

anyho. All right. So, they are breaking

up or

they're ending it and it seems like

their process typically is very formal

like with NDAs. It's very like private

and behind closed doors. Um, but they're

also kind of like, we keep doing this.

We keep being disappointed. This kind of

book opens after the prologue with Lily.

Lily is a bike messenger for Grayson

Media. Um, she is also an aspiring

writer and has like written a couple

small articles and is hoping to get some

bigger ones published with Grayson

Media. She is delivering um something

for signature to WXZ for West Archer.

And so when she goes to the lobby and is

like, "Hey, I have this. It needs to be

signed by West." Xander just happens to

be walking through and he's like, "She's

cute." And he's like, "Oh, I can sign

that for him." And she's like, "Is your

name West?" And he's like, "No." And

she's like, "Well, this is for Wes to

sign, so sorry." And he like thinks it's

very charming that like she like doesn't

And he's like, "Okay, I'll take you up

to see him. She doesn't seem to

understand who they are and like what

she's asking for.

Well, so what's interesting is that

she's a little bit nervous about seeing

West because she's like, "We met once

when I was like 10 years old and like

when I was a little kid and like he like

doesn't probably like won't remember me,

but

we have met before and

I I and also in a way that where she's

like I kind of hope he doesn't recognize

me." Um yeah. Hm. So, when they get up

there, like West also thinks she's cute,

but is like very busy with work. They

are actually in uh the middle of a

merger acquisition of Grayson Media.

Yes. And so he's really stressed out to

the point where Xander's like, "You need

to get laid."

Like,

yeah, chill out.

Yeah. Like, I love you, but like clearly

me sucking your dick isn't enough. Like,

go get laid. like we got to get some

stress relief somewhere.

Yeah.

Um, as Lily is leaving the building, she

has her like old bike that she calls

Betty. And Betty is a a janky piece like

where she's like, "It takes me a really

long time to get all of my deliveries

done each day, but Betty has served me

well and I will not abandon her." Is

like, so like Lily's talking to her bike

and she's like, "Come on, girl. Like

just one more stop."

I had a car named Betty.

It was a 1999 white Buick Regal.

Yes, it was. That's the appropriate

name.

Huge. And so she was Betty White.

Um, and I would talk to her all the time

because

all the electrics went out.

So my mileage worked, but my gas gauge

didn't work. Or not the mileage, the

speedometer worked. So the mileage did

not work. The gas gauge did not work.

And so I would just have to be like I

feel like I need gas.

Yeah.

Like like I'm getting the impression,

but I'd be like, come on, honey. It's

five more miles to the next gas station.

We got this, Betty. We can do this.

Um mine was Earth.

Nice.

Yes.

As in Earth kit.

Uhhuh.

Um she was a green Saturn ion.

Nice.

And I love like she was very a bubbly

shape. Um, not a great car.

I moved the day I moved to Dallas,

Texas, I had to have my entire steering

column replaced.

No.

And then after the steering column was

replaced, uh, the gas gauge never really

fully worked again. So if it hit a

quarter tank, I could have 100 miles

left or I could

go out on the interstate and after I

like was on the side of the highway and

missed my own therapy appointment, I was

like, "This is not I can't do this

anymore. Somebody help me. You've

betrayed me one too many times."

So, as Lily is talking to her bike, um,

she bumps into Zeke accidentally cuz

she's not looking up and they just kind

of have a cute little interaction and

Zeke thinks it's cute that she was

talking to her bike, but she moves on

with her day cuz she has really no idea

who he is.

So, that night, Lily's bestie, Jen, is

like, "Hey, I got us on the list for

this club. We need to go let off some

steam." And Lily's like, "I've been

riding a bike all day. I'm so tired. I

don't want to do this, but like I love

Jen. I can I can rally. Like, I don't

really need to be spending money on

drinks right now, but fine. I'll I'll

go."

Um, this club is conveniently and I know

surprisingly owned by WXZ,

so they might all also be at the club

that night.

Shocking.

Yes. Uh Lily and her friend Jen are at

the bar and

um a dude comes up and like grabs Lily

like inappropriately and she just like

turns around and like clocks him.

Good for her.

Yes. And so he hits the ground and

security comes up and is like, "We're

going to have to ask you to leave." And

Zeke saw it all happen. And so Zeke

walks up when security is like touching

Lily and he's like, "You're going to get

your [ __ ] hands off her. Like, are

you guys kick that dude out? She was

protecting herself. So, like Zeke

invites Lily and Jen up to their VIP

booth. And like Lily's initially like,

"No, we're good." And Jen's like,

"Hell yes."

She's like, "Oh, I'm sorry. Were we not

here to let off some steam?

What were you going to do, Lily?" Like,

"Yes, we will be joining y'all."

But this is also kind of a bigger deal

than we realize because Zeke has never

initiated inviting a a girl up to like

it's normally Xander or West. Um because

Zeke is the one who's the the more

intense one out of the group, right?

Um

so Xander's thrilled because he's like,

"Wait, Zeke's already into her a little

like that.

This is working out for me."

Yes. Oh, Wes thought she was cute. I

thought she was cute. Zeke thought she

was cute.

This is convenient at some level.

But Xander's also like they're like, "We

need Jen gone. Jen is ruining the energy

of this moment."

She's fully [ __ ] blocking everybody. And

there's a lot of [ __ ] to block. So that

is like dexterity. So Xander goes and

gets one of the bouncers, Trey, and is

like pays him. He's like, "I'm going to

need you to get like Jen off our hands

for the like here are the keys to my

Lamborghini like and and Trey out. Have

a great night."

Like Trey's like, "Okay, who am I? Am I

like

celebrity actor? Like what's this?

Am I a professional athlete?

Yes.

What am I bringing?" They're like, "Bro,

just go hit on her a little bit and get

her in the car and get her the [ __ ] out

of here."

It works, though. He pretends to be an

actor. He uses Xander's car.

They They bounce. Um Lily's a little bit

nervous when she realizes that. She's

like, "Oh, it's just like me and these

guys."

That is not great best friend behavior

on Jen's part, but clearly it was

necessary for the story. So,

yeah. I feel like there are sometimes

when your wingwoman, very rarely can

your wingwoman leave you at like at the

bar like that and you're like that is

this feels safe and this feels

Yeah.

good. I'm like oh you're now in an

isolated room with three

dudes dudes. Yeah. Okay, whatever. These

things happen, do they?

I was about to say uh you're like not to

me.

You're like, "Hey, Chelsea, when was the

last time like on God, when was the last

time that happened to you?" And I'm

like, "Okay, touche.

Yeah,

quite frankly, that sounds exhausting.

So tiring.

Oh my god.

So tiring. Uh but because Lily is a bit

nervous, she drinks a bit much and gets

a little tipsy. Like not like

embarrassingly like falling out. Sloppy.

Yes. But just enough that they're like

So this is like where this night is

going to end. Uh and we're not really

going to go any further. They do ask her

to go on a date with them the following

night. just kind of like, "Would you go

on a date with the father?" She's like,

"Yeah, what?"

Little little group date situation.

Maybe maybe it was more casual than

that. I don't know. But like they

express interest at some level and

seeing her again. Xander ends up taking

her home just him. Uh and she tries to

invite him in and he turns her down and

she's like mortified and he's like,

"It's because you're drinking." Like

hear me, right?

The invitation was not the problem. very

interested. Yeah. And for future us,

let's remember this invitation. But they

do end up having like a really cute nice

kiss. Uh and if I'm remembering

correctly, I think like when Xander like

gets back, Wes is like, "Did you kiss

her?" And he's like, "Maybe." Yeah.

Maybe. They're excited at the potential.

Well, that's kind of cute.

It is. So the next night they invite

they have Lily come over for dinner and

they have her bring an overnight bag to

potentially stay in their guest room.

Also to clear I forgot to mention this

before.

She is currently crashing on like Jen's

couch. So like she doesn't have a great

living situation right now, but she's

trying to save up money while crashing

on her couch that she can get her own

place.

Sure.

So, I'm like, well, you know, I guess if

three billionaires invited me to spend

the night at their place instead of on

my friend's futon,

I'd probably do it, too. I'm over here

like, clearly they've invited me to play

the most dangerous game.

I'm like, I don't think I'm going to say

yes to that. But I can suspend belief.

Low key, I might. What a way to go.

It's like, you know, I get it.

Not related at all, but reminded me of I

remember years ago I had a friend. He

was on Plenty of Fish. If that tells you

is that still even is that maybe it's

still up. Uh but he'd been on Plenty of

Fish. He's like, "Chelsea, there's a

girl. There's a photo. Most beautiful

woman I'd ever seen in my entire life."

Like stunning. Like I needed to know

her.

The next photo

was not quite as good as the first

photo, but still very compelling. But

like each photo just got less

attractive. And he's like, "But Chelsea,

there were four photos and if there was

a 25% chance she looked like that first

one, that was a chance I had to take."

And that's what like

So if there's a chance it's the

dangerous game, but this is all the

stuff I could get in return.

It's a costbenefit analysis. I get it.

Yeah,

it really is. And I I don't know where I

would land. Um, so while she's over

there for dinner, they tell her that

they're all interested in dating her.

And this is, I know I mentioned it

earlier, very unlike their normal

process where they normally like they're

very vetted. They have NDAs. Yes. Like

all of this has been signed before they

even engage in the conversation.

Mhm.

And that was a conversation that guys

had at one point that was like, well, is

our is our approach just too clinical?

Is that part of what's been like working

against us here? So like, well, we'll

we'll see how this goes. But they do say

that publicly she would be tied to West.

So like

So she'll she's only going to be like

photographed with West. She's going to

go out on like

she's going to be his date to events and

things like that

seemingly. Yeah. So they're like we are

all together,

but for the sake of public appearances,

you would only be tied to West instead

of Xander and Zeke as well.

And so she says she'll consider. She

doesn't immediately say yes. And then

Wes walks her to bed and she's like,

"What if we don't have sexual chem like

what if we aren't all like sexually

suited for each other?"

The dumbest I'm like

hot, young, attractive people. How often

are you not like unless someone's just

like atrociously bad at sex?

Right. Right. Right. Right. Because most

of the time, like you can get better

with enough communication and

willingness, like you can find it.

Yeah. You find what they like. you find

what they don't like, what works. So,

right,

I don't know. I'm like, oh, am I as a

young hot 20some year old female going

to be sexually suited to these hot

billionaires?

Who can say?

Like, what?

I don't know if I can satisfy three men.

You better finger me so we can find out.

And is that what happened?

It is. So then, yeah, Wes fingers her

and they're fine.

Con confirmed. They're sexually suited.

Chemistry confirmed. Nailed it.

When he leaves her room though, Wes like

goes up to Zeke and is like, I want her.

Like,

we need to make this happen. Like, I'm

into her. Let's let's pursue this one.

So, like, whatever we we need to get her

to say yes,

we're going to do that.

We're we're going to do um and then two

days later, there's a sudden cockroach

infestation at Jen's place. Um, and it

has to get fumigated. And so Jen and

Trey are doing great. Trey did come

clean that he's not an actor.

I kind of wondered if they were going to

get together. That's cute.

Yes. So they end up together even though

he lied to her from the jump. And he's

like, "So Jen's going to go stay with

him while the place is fumigated, but

then they're like, "Oh, well you can

stay on my couch, but sometimes my

friend stays over when he drinks, but

like I'm sure he'd be fine on the floor

for a night." like just that like

this reeks of setup.

I wonder why

it reeks.

Yes. And so Lily calls the guys and is

like, "Hey, I've decided to accept your

offer." They send a car for her. And so

she gets to the house and they're all

like, she goes up to the penthouse and

they're all waiting for her. And it is

also very sweet because she's like, "I

said yes, but just to I I want to be

clear that like there is a cockroach

infestation and so I don't have a place

to stay." And like that did kind of like

impact my decision as well.

A major contributing factor to my

decision to agree

my homelessness and your offer of a

home. My lack of stable housing in the

notoriously impossible housing market of

New York City

was considered in my decision to [ __ ]

Three Billionaires.

Oh my god. So Matt and I were at a

concert this past week and they played

they were playing like old school

country like Song of the South and like

okay

Earl like all that kind of like the

chicks this kind of [ __ ] But this that

was between sets. It was a heavy metal

show and between sets at the tabernacle

in Atlanta, they had some preset

playlist of the most

I love every additional detail. I'm like

that it was at the tabernacle that it

was

Yeah. Yeah.

The band from Atlanta who opened for the

main show was called Funeral Portrait in

case you're wondering like the style

we're talking about.

Got it. And as we're listening, I cannot

remember which song it was because I was

less sober than I am now. And but I I

like slapped Matt in the arm as I was

singing along and I was like, "Babe,

babe, there's sugar baby implication in

this song. How have I never known? How

have I never known?" And he was like,

"Are you good?" And I was like, "Babe."

So, we've just been randomly being like

there's sugar baby implication.

I was like, that's what we've been

doing. Like, is there SBI in this

situation

that we've never noticed? And that's

what I just thought of. I was like, oh,

there's SBI in this.

Yeah, in case you're wondering.

I mean, all

three billionaire like

Yeah. I mean, there's definitely FBI

here.

Like but I don't know if that's

avoidable.

There's not like the implication is not

avoidable if you are not someone of

the same wealth

stratosphere, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. Well, that in mind, they have a

great first night. They're all enjoying

dinner. Zeke is definitely still a

little skittish where like

he's still intrigued by Lily, but isn't

fully jumping in the way like West and

Xander are. And so after dinner, West

and Xander and Lily all go and have like

this great sexual encounter.

They do raw dog it, which feels soon.

Feels presumptive.

Yeah. I but if I remember correctly,

they did show her like that they had

like been tested and had clean bills of

health. But even I'm just like I don't

know. Do you barely know their last do

you know their middle names?

Well, it's like also

was birth control discussed like is that

it like it is kind of min like it's like

a I'm I'm on birth control and I'm clean

and they have their results and like so

it's just kind of

Yeah, that feels like something if I was

a billionaire I would get confirmation

of the birth control before I was like

bet you know. Well, so the ne the

funniest part is the next morning Wes is

talking to Zeke about like how the night

went and he says that they went

unprotected and Zeke is like well great

news is I can confirm from her

background check that you're good on

that but like she did not lie. So yeah,

but the [ __ ] like right could have

waited until I told you. Uh other things

they learned from her background check.

She graduated third in her class,

attended school on a full scholarship,

has had a few articles published. So,

like pretty much they run it and they're

like, "Yep, nothing of crazy note. Kind

of everything we expected." Yeah. Just

like

graduated from college a couple years

ago. She's trying to get her writing

career started. Went to school on a

scholarship and did well while she was

there. Um, the only other thing that

they did note was that she was in the

same sorority as this girl named Bri,

who's one of their former girlfriends

that they'd kind of tried this setup

with, and things ended really poorly

because,

uh, Bri

ultimately seemed like just more into

Xander than all three of them to the

point that like if West or Zeke tried to

like touch Xander, she'd get really like

possessive and they're like, "No, that's

not how this works." Like that's not

what

that's not what we signed up here for.

So,

but like Bri and Lily weren't close in

their sorority. They were like Zeke's

just like, "Yeah, it looks like they

were in the sorority at the same time."

So, there is a little bit of overlap

there,

right? They knew each other, but there's

no like strong connection or history.

Um, and so then when Lily comes out and

the guys are like, "Okay, like you got

to get to work. Like, well, take the car

to work." And she's like, "No, like I'll

take my bike." like, "Well, just like

let us drop you off." And she's like,

"No, I'm good." And they like don't

necessarily understand why she's pushing

back. And she's sitting there and she's

like, "This is an experiment." And they

did kind of put a time. They're like,

"Oh, like we'll we'll see how this goes

for like move in with us for 3 months.

We'll see how this goes." And then go

from there. So, she's sitting there

like, "I don't know what's going to

happen in 3 months.

I don't want to get dependent on this

life of luxury and then like

3 months from now not have calluses and

have to like go back to like

a harder life.

Um

and so they finally agreed that they

will just drop her at work. But as she's

about to leave for her route, she

realizes that Betty is gone and it's

been replaced with like a very bougie

and very expensive like ebike.

Oh no, Betty. that was a gift from West.

But yes, in that way where she's like,

well, where's Betty? And they're like,

but you have this now. And she's like,

but it's not Betty.

Betty has been with me through thick and

thin.

Betty is my ride or die.

Yes. So, they do put Betty in storage.

And she can't admit that the ebike she's

like, "My deliveries are done in like

half the time. This like the seat's way

more comfortable. This is peak luxury of

being a bike delivery person. So she's

like I mean like thank you but also like

she does try and push back and like Wes

you can't just like

replace my [ __ ]

give me gifts,

right?

He's like why can't I I give you gifts

if I if I want to,

right?

So just they're finding their footing

with each other as far as you know

people with more money than they know

what to do with and someone who hasn't

really had money. It is an interesting.

It's finding the balance.

Yeah. Finding the middle ground of that.

Well, because I was going to say I'm

shocked that they weren't like you're

not going to work or whatever. Like, you

know,

Yes.

This would be a compromise for many of

the books that we've read, right? Her

keeping her job.

You're not going to work at all. It's

like, well, we've,

you know,

yeah,

in 3 months from now, maybe you can have

that conversation if it's going well.

But in the trial period, it is nice that

you're like,

yeah,

we're all going to keep ourselves

employed.

Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. So Lily is getting lunch

with Jen and she's telling her about the

the an article she's working on that's

like thinking it's going to be a big

article if it gets published through

Grace and as she hopes and then Jen is

like girl you're literally sleeping with

WXZE like right

use your connections to get your article

published

right why are you messing around with

Grayson

and Lily's like no I want my article to

be published on my own merit like I I

don't want it to go through them. Um,

when she gets home from lunch, Zeke is

the only one there and I don't, if I'm

remembering right, he's like in the

kitchen and he's like cooking, but he

like doesn't have a shirt on and she's

like, "Oh my gosh, his tattoos are

beautiful. They're like stunningly

done." And she reaches out to try and

touch his tattoos and he stops her and

is like, "Don't touch me." Like,

and he's like, "Stop staring at me." And

she's like, "What? Like, staring at

what?" And she, it takes her a second to

like realize under that, like under all

of the tattoos, he's covered in scars.

So, he thought she was going to touch

his scars or like that's what she was

looking at, not the art.

Uh-huh. And she's like, I literally

didn't even notice. But I appreciate

that Lily's like, "Okay, are there

places where I can touch you?"

Oh, that's nice.

Yes. And he told her on the forearms and

below the waist, which is convenient.

You know,

it is, isn't it?

How handy.

Yeah. And so then she gives him a

[ __ ] and he face [ __ ] her. But like

in a way where you're definitely like

picking up hints that Lily has some sort

of traumatic history that like

because she's like if he's wrong if he

thinks this is going to break me. And

like in her in her monologue she's like

I've like I I relaxed my throat like I

learned to do all of those years ago.

Like sort of like

jeez.

Yes. So, like she's having this like

moment of connection with him that's

very intense, but and also it seemed

like at some level like she's working to

like ground herself and stay present in

that moment.

Right. Right.

and he just like walks off as soon as he

comes down her throat,

but also in a way where he's kind of

like, you know,

she doesn't scare off like the other

like maybe there's more to Lily than I

kind of realized with how that

interaction went down.

Um, so then later, maybe it's the same

night. I don't know. There's there's a

lot of sex.

Sure.

Uh, I'm doing a quick coverage of a lot

of it, but like

we get it.

Yes. And so you go from that scene into

like they're all watching a movie after

dinner and Lily's kind of like

I can think of like more fun things the

four of us could all be doing. Why are

we watching a movie? And the guys are

like

oh okay say less. Let's pivot. So then I

just hit my own glasses off my face.

Excuse me.

So then they end up doing like a whole

Xander is inside of Lily while West is

inside of Xander. And they kind of have

this whole cute little

train.

This cute little

this cute little train going.

Oh, sorry Vance. I hate my mic. Like

Okay. All right. If that's that wasn't

the energy I thought they were bringing

into this interaction, but if cute is

the energy. This wasn't reading wrong.

[Music]

It's no like it's a very hot scene. Uh

Zeke is watching all of it go down and

is very into it after Zeke asks West if

he'll bottom for him. Um because West

and Zeke, like Xander's the bottom, West

and Zeke typically don't bottom for each

other.

And so like Wes is kind of like I know

it's super hot when he does, but like

it's not like

our typical energy,

which that is also super hot and Lily is

super into like watching it as it all

goes down. But then after Zeke kind of

looks over at her and he's like, "Did

you like the show?" And Wes is like,

"Oh, he was testing Lily." Yeah.

He was trying to see if that was a

boundary and like

doesn't love feeling used in that way.

Um,

which I fully understand. Yeah. I'm

like, "Oh,

like you thought it was this like sweet,

intimate,

hot moment you were having,

right? Like this isn't our usual

dynamic. I'm willing to do it because I

care about you." and he's like, "I

wanted to do it to see if that would

like push her over the edge or

whatever."

Yes.

Yeah. Definitely changes the the vibe

to the point that like West confronts

Zeke in the morning and is like, "The

[ __ ] were you doing?"

And like when are like you clearly like

Lily, like when are you going to show

her who you really are? And so as

they're kind of at the end of that

conversation, Lily walks into the

kitchen. Um and they're like, "How much

did you hear?" And she's like, "Just

that you think Zeke should show me who

he really is." Then she's like, "I'm

looking for pain meds. I have cramps."

Like that's

don't care about anything.

You guys were having conversation. I'm

just here for pain meds. But this is

when we learn more about Bleak. Zeke's

blood kink. Bleak. Zeke. That was Bleak.

Um cuz Zeke is like, "I'll help you with

your cramps." and immediately just like

takes her up to his bedroom

and tells her to like go into the

bathroom and take out her tampon. And

he's like, she's like, "What? No. Why

would I do that?" And he's like, "Just

go

trust me."

Yes. Um they have really mindblowing

sex.

There is a [ __ ] massacres worth of

blood on his sheets that he is thrilled

about and just thinks it's like the best

thing ever. And when all is said and

done, she doesn't run away. And like

Zeke is amazed by that

because he's like, "Oh my gosh, she

didn't like I didn't scare her. She

didn't run. She's still here."

And then we learn that while for as much

as Zeke loves like kind of hurting

people and causing pain in the moment,

he also really loves afterare and is

really great at afterare

and so like is immediately I have it

written. Makes her a sheet burrito.

Nice.

Just like completely swaddles her, runs

them a bath.

Um Xander actually comes in and is like,

"Ze, have you seen Lily?" And like finds

them in the bathtub together and he's

like, "Ah,

so you have?"

Yeah.

See, see things are going well.

Um that evening, Zeke's demeanor is

continuously softer towards her. We're

just like he's realized,

oh, she may actually not be too good to

be true. Like she

right

seems to like we seem to get each other

in a way that like I haven't clicked

with other people.

And so he pulls her onto his lap and is

playing with her like pulls her tampon

string a little bit, which not for me.

I no I also don't know the last time I

used tampons.

I was going to say

yeah.

So that would be the first half of just

the shock of its presence in general.

Like

we both found How long has that been

there?

Jesus Christ.

Oh no.

No. I knew someone who told me that they

were at an OB checkin and the OB pulled

one out and they were like, I truly had

no idea how long it had been in there.

It was a very embarrassing moment. And

I'm like, what? What do you say to your

OB in that moment?

You get a new one. Like, you don't go

back.

I I thought you meant a new Tampa.

to be that too. But also

just like

both are true, just to be clear.

Oh my god.

Oh my goodness.

So Lily is on Zeke's lap and he's

playing with her. Xander and West get

home and like walk in on it happening.

Uh, West kind of ends up joining them

where then like West has Lily straddle

Zeke and then West and Zeke are kissing

and then West is

playing with Lily's [ __ ] while they're

jacking Zeke off and there's a lot of

coordination in this.

Yeah, that does feel like a lot. I'm

like, okay, Zeke sitting Lily straddling

West behind Lily's back pressing her

into Zeke. They both have a hand

together on West's dick. Zeke. Nope.

Nope. On Zeke's dick.

Xander.

Nope. Xander isn't involved in this

scene.

Okay.

West. Yep. Zeke. West has his other hand

on Lily's [ __ ]

Everyone. Not everyone. Zeke and Lily

get orgasms. That is a lot of dexterity.

It is. Yeah. Yeah. West is kissing and

using both hands to jack different

people off.

The level of coordination.

Yeah, it's impressive. It's good. Yeah,

good for him.

That sounds exhausting.

I know, right? I'm like, okay.

Um, so at some point, I don't know if

it's that night, if it's the next day,

whenever. But Xander and Lily are

cleaning the kitchen and her phone rings

and when she sees who's calling, we just

know she like immediately is like,

"Fuck." And like declines the call. And

it's like, I don't want anyone to see

that my phone was ringing. Like Xander's

like, "Oh, like did you need to take

that?" And she just says like, "No, it

was someone from work." And so you're

like, "Okay, like what the fuck?" So,

question. Sorry. Before you go to the

next thing, good.

So, we still don't know about like Wes

and Lily's history,

from when they were kids.

Correct.

So, she knows that they've met each

other before, but he doesn't know. And

we don't have any other information

other than it was when she was like 10.

Yes. At present, we do not.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

When Lily gets back to her bedroom, um,

she

calls the number she missed. It's Nico.

Nico is in New York and wants to see

her. And she's like, "I'll I'll sneak

away during my lunch break tomorrow, but

like when it's clear that this is like

a a big secret that they are seeing each

other, and you're like, "Okay, what's

going on with that?"

So, at work the next day, she finds out

that her article is getting picked up,

which is very exciting.

That's awesome. Um, and her boss is also

like, "So, I heard through the rumor

mill you're dating West Archer." And

she's like,

"I've never heard of her."

No, she's like, "Yeah." Like,

okay.

I mean, does does it impact my right

like just kind of

Yeah. Does it change anything?

Exactly. Is is more of that

conversation. And then when she leaves

the room, there's a dude who works in PR

who's always like hit on her a little

too much and she calls him Hansy Andy.

Um

M

and he's also like, "Oh, I heard you

were dating West Archer." Uh so it's

like clearly like word is starting to

get out, right?

And he's like, "Oh, like do you want to

go out for drinks?" And she's like, "No,

I don't." Like, "Please stop asking.

Just say that like I'm with West."

Well, and he's like, "Oh, are you too

good for drinks with me now that you're

dating West Archer?" And I'm also like,

"No, why would why the [ __ ] would you

ask someone out for drinks if you knew

they were dating someone else?" And

also like she said no before. It had

nothing to do with Wes.

Hansy Andy. It's always been a no. It

has like

it was a no two years ago.

It's about you, my guy.

Look in the [ __ ] mirror and take some

accountability.

People don't like you because of you.

Have you ever considered that you're the

worst?

Clearly, he hasn't.

Have you ever considered that you are

the common denominator in all of these

breakups?

Never once. It's never a single time.

No, literally the number of dudes that

think.

Oh yeah.

It's every girl's problem and they are

without blame in any relationship

is wild.

And I'm not saying it's all on dudes by

any of like not saying that at all. But

it is just so funny to like watch people

like the narratives they take away from

breakups and you're like, "Wow."

Yeah.

We really made that fit the narrative we

needed it to fit.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like

I was thinking this when we were talking

about something else earlier like it's

like people don't want to take

accountability for things

because then we have to actually like

reckon with ourselves and decide like

okay so if I'm taking accountability for

this behavior that means I either need

to change it or accept that this is my

behavior and I think people don't want

to do that

and book with Hannah for act therapy.

I don't mean to brag, but mindfulness

and acceptance help a lot.

I went to a therapist

who like was very much like act was like

her tried and true

acceptance and commitment therapy. Um,

and it was interesting because I think

there were things that like I still was

like trying to process through and

needed to process through and she was

like, "Well,

you need to either accept it or like but

in a way where I was like, oh,

you don't want to process this with me."

I was going to say sometimes the way to

acceptance is through processing.

Yes.

Practicing mindfulness of our emotions.

As we process that helps us find the

acceptance. And I was like, "Girl, just

tell me you don't want me as a client

anymore."

Like, I I don't want to talk about this

anymore. I have done that to clients in

the past where I've been like, you know,

I've heard you say a few times, right,

that like this is the main problem. And

I often see you get worked up as you

describe the situation to me. And I

guess I'm just really wondering, do you

feel like that is meeting your need

right now or is there some other way we

could approach it? Cuz I'm like, I don't

want to do this again. It's like three

sessions in a row.

I should be more proactive in thinking

those things through cuz I think in

session I'm a little bit more of like,

so I noticed I've said this three

sessions in a row and nothing's getting

better.

It is dependent on the client. Touche.

Touche.

I was thinking of a very specific person

I had to do that with not that long ago.

It's very different.

Yeah,

it is also always interesting like by

client how like cuz you're like I might

need to tell the like get three clients

to the same

realization

and the journey in which I will get each

of them there

different way

will be so

unique unto them as it should be but it

really is funny to be like how do I

okay this person I'm not trying to be an

[ __ ] I do need to

be a little more direct where I'm not we

don't want it to hurt. We just want them

to feel it.

Right.

Yes.

Right. Right. We need to actually see

it.

Yes. We need like they need that moment

of like realization. You have other

people where you're like I'm going to be

gradually leading them to this point for

at least 6 months.

Yes.

Like one person you're be like, "Hey,

hey eyes eyes. Don't do that [ __ ]

anymore."

Literally me. Not again. not that long

ago going she was like describing this

guy she met online and I was like mhm

mhm mhm and she's like I just don't know

and I was like that's because he's been

li those are all lies every word all of

that it's all a lie he is still with his

ex-girlfriend in South Carolina

everything he has told you is a lie and

she was like what and I was like girl

you're like this isn't even clinical

right someone just needs to make sure

you know this.

Woman tow woman. No,

like no.

I

during a couple session one time.

Not a couple session.

Hey buddy,

apologies without behavior change don't

mean [ __ ] So stop doing it.

And he and he was like, you're right.

And I'm like,

so are you going to are you going to do

it? I felt like as soon as the words

left my mouth, I was like, holy [ __ ]

I'm getting fired. This is the last

session I'm ever going to hold with this

couple.

My bad. And he was just like, I really

thank you for saying it.

Yeah.

Needed to be said.

I

He told me afterwards, he's like, you're

the first time therapy has kind of like

made sense. And I'm like,

so have other people just not like you

just needed people to be more direct and

be like, your behavior is hurting

people. you needed to be told about

yourself. That's what happened.

And you know, it's great. We can meet

each client where they are with what

they need.

Um,

so

on Lily's lunch break, she goes to see

Nico.

Sure.

Nico is her twin brother.

I was going to say this has got to be a

brother or an uncle or something like

that.

Yes. 1,000%. Um, we don't know all of

the details at this point. We know he

helped her escape from the family. M

and he got her really good fake papers.

Um where her name that she goes by and

like went to college under is Lily

Sloan. Um but her legal name is Liliana

Constantine.

Uh-oh. That sounds like a mob princess.

What?

If I had to guess.

Stop ruining the book.

Yes. Ruin.

Sorry. I made the drama.

I'm so sorry I made that face.

I'm

Okay.

So, they he's there for work for

something, but like the whole family

thinks she's dead. Um, so that is also

why like they never get to see each

other. So, like

that's why it's a sneakout.

Yes. Like it was really really under

wraps because for all intents and

purposes,

Liliana Constantine is dead. M and so

when she gets home that night, she feels

really bad about lying to the guys about

like where she was and what she did. But

she also like doesn't know how to tell

them about Nico. Doesn't know how to

tell them that she's a Constantine

because that would also kind of trigger

West Y from like her childhood. So

sure,

she feels bad, but she's also like

this is a safety issue at this point,

right?

Well, and it's like she's been dating

them for what, like a week? Yeah, a

couple week maybe. I will say the

timeline here does feel a little like

well still even to six months I would be

like this is life and death mafia [ __ ]

like I'm not

Yeah

cuz that was the issue with the dating

site. The guy was saying that he was an

undercover cop and I was like no he's

not like

and that's why he couldn't answer his

phone on the weekends was cuz he was

undercover.

You did the right thing.

Thank you. Oh my gosh.

Thank you.

You're like, "Oh, hey, he's not Barney

Stinson from How I Met Your Mother."

Yeah.

But like,

oh, no.

Yeah.

Also, bold move to declare in your

dating profile that you're an undercover

police officer. Very covert.

Yeah. Well, that's what I told her. I

was like, "Sweetheart,

no. He's not going to tell somebody on a

dating site that he's an undercover cop.

He has your name spelled incorrectly in

his phone. He has three phones

and he refuses to tell his family about

you. And his girlfriend still has his

car. His ex-girlfriend still has his car

and his dog. That's because they're

still living together.

Like I don't I don't

Oh god.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, no. Just the where you're like,

I know you want this.

I want it for you.

Yes. But I also want it to be real.

I want it to not be this.

Yes. Um, so as things are going really

well, Lily is going to have a girls

night and go out with Jen. And the the

guys are, you know, surprisingly very

protective and possessive. like see what

outfit she wants to wear out. And

they're like,

but West gives her his AMX and she's

like, I don't need this. And she's like,

I've been living here for a little bit.

I haven't had to like pay expenses.

Like, I can buy my own drinks. And Wes

is like, you are taking my [ __ ] card

and you are

treating yourself to drinks. Like,

you are you are our girlfriend. Let us

care about you.

So when Lily gets to the club uh or bar

or wherever they're at really and Jen

walks up, Bri, the other sorority girl

is with her in a way that Jen's kind of

like couldn't shake her, saw her and

like I can't

Oh.

So she's like, "Oh, look who's joining

us." But like it's clear between Jen and

Lily that they're like

that Jen's like, "I know Bri's not your

favorite. I'm so sorry."

Yeah. And Bri has always kind of made

digs at Lily and just like, "Oh, are you

still working in like bike delivery and

things like that?" And Jen, bless her

soul, great best friend, ultimate hype

woman, is like, "Oh, she's about to get

an article published." Oh, her well and

her boyfriend West Archer and like but

Jen doesn't know nor does Lily know that

Bri has this history with the guys

knows the dynamics.

So as soon as like Jen says Wes's name,

Bree's like that's not true. Like that's

not happening. Like it's like looking at

Lily under a sharpened gaze

and Lily's like I mean here's

his card. Like I And so then Bree's

like, "Well, if that is his car, then uh

a bottle of Dom for the table." And Bri

or And Lily's like, "No, we don't need

to like

we're not trying to do that." Yeah.

And Bree's like, "Well, the sort of

money West Archer has like that's no

problem." So like you blink and they've

had like four bottles of Dom.

Oh my god.

Yes. Li or Lily's too toasted at this

point to really do anything if I'm

remembering correctly. I think Jen and

Bri like go on to the next club or event

or whatever, but a car has been called

for Lily to be able to go back.

Like to the point like the driver called

West and was like, "She's going to need

help getting inside." Like West comes

down to help her,

right? He's like,

it's very like loving and sweet and he's

like, "I'm not like, yeah, like I'll

help. Of course." Like it's it's not a

problem. She like ends up drunkingly

like confessing her love for him and

then

pukes all over him.

Very good.

Yes. And then

very good.

The guys are all all kind of just like

take care of her and it's

right.

It's more of like, well, this is

adorable.

Look at that.

Yes. But also like

Lily went through that whole night

knowing

about their relationship with Bri in

that way,

right? Um, so

lots of secrets.

Yeah. Like that felt shitty to me.

But also they didn't have any way of

knowing that Lily was there or that Bri

was there.

No, of course not. Yeah. Just like the

unfortunate setup

of the situation that it was.

And so the merger with Grayson Media is

moving forward. The guys actually all

have a meeting with like the head of

Grayson Media who apparently they're

like, "Yeah, we're cutting this deal by

50 million." And he's like, "The [ __ ]

you are." And they're like, "You stole

all of your employees pensions and

retirements and we are going to quietly

replace all of those,

right? So you don't go to prison."

Yeah. And we have employees that like

actually have the benefits that they

thought that they had like

Right. Right. Right.

And he's like, "Well, that was only like

this much of the cut." And they're like,

"The other part is like our convenience

fee of

Yeah. of you not going to prison."

Yes. So, they're still moving forward

with that merger. And so, that's a bit

of an aside. When the guys all get back

to the house, Lily is sitting and

working on the couch on her article and

like she slams the laptop immediately

and they're like, "What are you

writing?" And she's like, "You'll have

to see when it's published." And it's

just like sweet. They try and tickle it

out of her, which does then lead to this

like big like primal play thing between

the four of them where Xander and Lily

run

and Zeke and West chase them.

Okay.

Um,

West ends up finding Xander,

[ __ ] him with no lube, then Xander

blows him, and

sounded painful, but they seem to enjoy

it. So,

yeah, good for them.

As long as you're happy. as long as

you're happy. And then Xander, not

Xander, Zeke finds Lily in their garage

where they have all of their cars. I

think like I think their elevator goes

to like three three levels.

Three levels of cars house. No, no, not

three levels of cars.

Like Jay Leno's garage on cribs.

Deep cut.

That's what I was imagining with like

the turntable. Sorry,

this is going to sound so horrible. Is

Jay Leto still alive?

I don't know. Oh my god. You whispered

it. You said that and I was about to

confidently be like, "Yeah, he is." And

then I was like, "Oh, I don't know."

Actually,

I feel like he is, but

I'm pretty sure he is.

I wonder what he's probably just vibing.

He's probably driving all his cars or

hanging out in his garage if

Lily. No, I meant like I think the their

private garage for their penthouse only

goes to like

Yeah, I got you.

the main lobby floor, their garage, the

penthouse. M. So Zeke finds Lily in the

garage and

you can tell that like once he's found

her and they've like kind of engaged in

the intimacy that he's like, "Oh, this

has like

triggered something for her a little bit

where like she's like

like fighting back." But like to their

credit, and I forgot to mention this,

they talk about safe words. They talk

about like

this will this can be very intense. And

so

stop it at any time, that kind of stuff.

And so Zeke is like watching this kind

of impact her, but he's like she's not

using her safe word,

right? I have to trust her.

Yeah. But he does also kind of like grab

her throat and like collar her a little

bit to kind of like ground her and bring

her back, which was

needed in the moment. But like once

again, we don't necessarily have

details. He just like is recognizing,

right? Something's up.

Yes.

Great afterare yet again. Shout out to

Zeke on that. But in that conversation,

he's also like,

"So, who hurt you?"

And she's like, "Someone who is supposed

to protect me?" And then she asked like,

"Who hurt you?" And so they have this

like very sweet

conversation, but like with

with every day that goes by, they just

seem to all become more and more

cohesive and like Right.

She really does seem to compliment them

all well and fit really great. Um,

so at the office, I don't know, this is

a week later, two weeks later, time is a

construct. Um, West and Xander are

talking in West office and then his

secretary calls up that Bri is there to

see them

and has information like about Lily sort

of energy. So they're like, "What?" So

they they invite Bri up because they

want to hear what she has to say. And

she says, "Uh, because she has a PR

company and she says that the company

she works for contracts with Grayson

Media. And so she knows that Lily is

writing what the article she's writing

is an expose about West Xander and

Zeke."

Um, and they're like, "What? That's not

true. Like that can't like that's not

Lily." And then Bri's like, "Are you

sure? cuz I was out at that bar with her

and Jen and she was waving your MX

around left and right like

Yes, exactly. Um and she mentioned she's

like yeah her scholarship for school was

bogus. the foundation that like funded

her full scholarship went under like

closed as soon as Lily finished her

degree

because it was witness protection or one

somebody else in the mob like helping

her escape.

Yeah. I'm like I think my interpretation

which might get confirmed later in the

book I'm like oh yeah your Nico helped

set up like a foundation and then it was

dissolved as soon as it was no longer

needed. But yes, in that like Bri Bri

somehow found that out along the way

that the that the foundation closed and

that she was like, "Yeah, and I saw her

with Nico Constantine,

which like West is like,

"Co, what the fuck?" Like,

and the guys are really angry and don't

want to believe it. And so they start

investigating. They go to the magazine

editor at Grayson Media and they're

like, "What's the article about that

Lily's writing?" And he's like, "Only

Lily and I know that. you can read it

when it comes out. And they're like,

we're buying the [ __ ] company. And

he's like, and I'm still the editor of

the magazine, so you can get lost.

And respect that. I was going to say,

good for him.

Ethics at its best.

Mhm.

We love to see it.

So, as they're leaving, uh, Andy sees

them and like obviously knows who they

are and he works in PR and so they ask

him if he knows and he's like, "Yeah, I

heard a rumor that like it's an expose

on y'all." sort of energy. They hire a

PI to trail her and uh unfortunately

Nico was in town again and so there are

photos of her meeting

uh I don't think there are photos of her

meeting with Nico necessarily but on the

way out she runs into uh someone Doc is

what he goes by. We know he's like in uh

her father's regime. Her the father is

Carmine Constantine.

Um

and so

like when Lily runs into she's like, "Oh

my god, like is he here with you?" Like

no, no, like you're safe. You're fine.

Like very very kind. Um but photos were

taken,

right?

So the guys see the photos and are like

confirmation of everything basically.

Yes. And they're like, "All right, well

let's ask her how her day was. If she

tells us that she was with Nico, then

like she's not. If she tells us nothing

happened, then

we know

we have caught her in this lie.

And so they ask her how her day was.

She doesn't ex

Yep. Exactly. She She doesn't bring up

Nico. So the guys are like, "Well,

that's all of the confirmation that we

needed,

right?"

Um, so the guys are having a big launch

party for, I don't know, a merger, a new

media thing. There are several names.

General Business.

General Media Business. Yes. But they're

having this huge event for the launch

merge of the media the general media

companies and all of the media outlets

including magazines that like Lily would

like love to work for. Like all of these

people are all

oh no

here for this party.

Lily, they sent a car to pick her up and

she was going to go and meet them all

there. It like it's really shitty

weather but like it's like a very nice

event. She's dressed to the nines, shows

up, and her name's not on the list.

That's a [ __ ] up thing to do, guys.

And so she's like, "What do you mean my

name's not on the list?" And she's like,

"You need to find Wes, Sander, or Zeke.

They will be livid if you find out they

did not let me in to like this event

that I'm supposed to be here for."

Oh, we're not handling any of this well.

And the security like kind of is like

well like we don't look

I guess we should double check that

before we like send off like because

she's pretty adamant. So Zeke comes out

dead look on his face and is like

we don't know you and she's like what

are you like so confused

right? Is this a joke or something? Like

what is happening? Am I getting punked?

Tears start streaming like rain is

falling. He gets in her face and was

like you're a lying [ __ ] No one wants

you here. And like sends her off in a

taxi

like in front of all of these people.

Oh, good. Yes. Good.

She didn't even make it inside.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Um so she goes to Jensen's because she

has nowhere else to go. Is sobbing along

the way, leaving sobbing voicemails for

all three very confused

like what the [ __ ] happened here?

And also within the timeline, it seems

like this event was close to like the

end of their trial period. So, like

because things had been going so well,

she's like, "Well, we haven't talked

about it yet, but like

seems like we're going to extend it or

like make it more permanent."

1,000%.

Um, so the next day she's like, "Well, I

need to go and I need to like get all my

stuff and hopefully like confront them."

When she gets to their building, all of

her stuff is already in boxes in the

lobby except Betty.

Bettyy's not there. And she loses her

[ __ ] She's like, "Where's my bike? Get

me my [ __ ] bike." Like,

yeah.

Absolutely. Like,

yeah.

She's like, "I don't know what's

happening, but I want my [ __ ] bike."

To the point like she's losing her [ __ ]

to the point that the security guard's

phone rings and the it's the guys

calling and they're like, "What's

happening?" And she's like, "They're

watching this."

Like, they won't even answer me and

they're watching this. These [ __ ]

if they wanted this to be over, they

could have just told me. They didn't

have to humiliate me like this. Like,

right. This is not necessary.

Yes. Like what in the actual [ __ ] They

the guard does go get Betty and she

takes all of her stuff. So I don't know

a week later, a couple days later,

whenever it happens, the article drops.

So, and the guys have rush or like had

it delivered to their house first thing

in the morning so they could be

prepared.

They open it. It's an article about

puppy mills

and

Yep.

And they like are like going through it.

They're like, "Where's where are our

names in this?"

Yes.

Well, and it's like Xander starting to

read it and they're like the blood just

like draining from his face. And they're

like, "Oh my god, not it wasn't about

us.

It's worse than we thought."

We aren't referenced. It wasn't about

us. Maybe she really did just care about

us like she

Whoops.

She said she did. Right.

Nico could have been a rando.

Mhm. So they track her down when she's

like at her bike messenger delivery job

and they're trying to get they like are

like will you get in the car and

eventually she like says yes like no I

think they were like blocking traffic to

the point where she's like fine. So they

try to apologize and explain like well

and like this and like this is why we

thought this and she's just not having

it. She's like why would you believe Bri

without

why didn't you trust me? Why didn't you

just ask me? could have asked me at any

point instead of being like what's your

article about if you would come to me

with like a we've heard you're ready an

ex like very different conversation

right and so she's just like [ __ ] y'all

apology not accepted

right

and gets out and is like we're

like thanks for the memories but we

don't need to keep doing this

yes

her boss at Grayson Media offers her a

job at the magazine as a writer and

she's like wish I could take it,

right? Can't do it.

And he's like, I was afraid you'd say

that. And she's like, yeah, sorry. Can't

can't do it.

What if I could, but I can't.

So, she puts in her notice and

starts to look for other employment. The

guys go and buy and shut down all of the

puppy mills um to, you know, the

absolution

like, okay,

make themselves feel a little better for

what they did. And Xander sees a dog ju

just like the one Lily has always

described that she wanted and he's like,

"Oh my gosh, it's the perfect dog. I'm

going to name it Snowflake. I'm going to

get it delivered to her apartment. It's

going to fix everything."

No.

Yep.

No. Don't give people animals

unprompted.

No.

Don't give your ex

No.

An animal unprompted.

And so she shows up at work or at WXZ,

their work, livid with the puppy. And he

thought it was funny at first cuz she

like walked in and like is using like

panty hose because she doesn't have a

leash. She doesn't have anything for

this dog because he didn't think any of

those things through.

Right. So there's no food, there's no

leash, there's no collar, there's no

bed, no toys. We need a vet.

She's on her friend's couch,

right? She doesn't have anywhere to

live.

No. And so she's like, "Hey, idiot. Dogs

cost money. I don't have money. Is this

another joke to you? Like, why would you

gift me this animal that you know I've

always wanted, that you know I can't

care for? Are you that heartless? Like,

[ __ ] leave me alone.

Right. Right.

Like, you've already destroyed my life.

Why do you keep showing up?

The damage is done, guys. You don't need

to keep going.

Well, and so she storms off and then

like West comes out and like, "Was that

Lily?" And Xander's like, "Yeah." And

he's like, "Is that a dog?" And Xander's

like, "Yeah." He's like, "Tell me you

didn't." and he's like, "I I had to try

something." So, like, cuz Xander was the

one of the three who was like, "We

should talk to Lily. We should ask her.

We should clarify with her."

Right?

That doesn't sound like the Lily we

know. And so, then when all of this came

out and he's like,

"Neither of you listened to me this

whole time, which also, you are a grown

man. You could have

still just talked to her yourself, but I

digress.

Polycule dynamics can be complex. you're

that once again sounds like more than I

want to navigate on a day-to-day basis.

Um, Lily has now started working for a

new messenger company and West is using

that company to get packages delivered

daily to WXE

and to the but like she's not delivering

any of them to the point that like he

goes to the dude who owns the company

and is like, "I've had a package

delivered every day. I want it delivered

by Lily. And the dude's like, "Yeah, she

asked specifically to not have that on

the route. Like, I'm gonna like

honor that."

Yeah. Respect that. Like, don't be a

creep.

But then West is like, "Well, I think

the IRS would be very interested to know

about the side deliveries y'all have

done. She better deliver the next

package." Thinking that like this will

be his moment to see her and like I just

need to get her in front of me.

If I can just talk to her, we can fix

it. And when Lily sees that like it's on

her list for the day, she like goes to

her boss and she's like, "Hey, we talked

about this." And he's like, "Nothing I

can do. Sorry. Just like if you want

this job,

you got to do it.

You got to do it." So,

she goes to do the drop off, but it has

just been a bad day. She's frazzled

knowing she's going to have to see them.

She fell on the way there. Like, she's

has blood dripping. She her jeans are

torn.

She's like, "I just want to go home."

Yes, Betty. When she went down, Betty

got a little more janky where like she's

just like too janky to use anymore.

And when she gets to Wes's floor, like

Wes sees her and starts like sees that

she's bloody and torn and is like trying

to like he's like, "Oh my god." I was

like trying to run like make sure she's

okay. And she just like throws the

package at him and screams at him and

she's like, "Do you guys get off on

checking on your experiment? Like

right,

you did this to me."

Right. Are you having fun? Cuz I'm not.

Yes. Like, leave me the [ __ ] alone.

You've already ruined my life, y'all.

And so, she takes off and leaves. And it

seems like it's just then that West is

like,

"We really destroyed this." Like,

yeah, we really really [ __ ] up.

Yes. Like, I think they thought like

initially like, "Oh, our bad. We'll just

like apologize." I'm like, "It'll be

fine."

No biggie.

Yes. Well, because I think like it it

could have been that potentially easily

redeemed if they'd been like, "Hey, this

isn't working. Thank you so much."

Yep.

God bless and good luck. Here are your

things. Like, we appreciate you.

Choosing to publicly humiliate her in

front of her aspired peers.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

And to the guy's credit,

really only the initial one was like had

malicious intent. the other ones were

all attempts to talk to her that at that

point she's just like

right

can't see it through that lens obviously

who

right understandably

yes but I do think it's worth noting

that like the follow-up attempts did not

have malicious intent but with each

follow-up attempt the guys are like

realizing more and more

like

I'm not making this better

yes our are bad on this one so like West

gets obliterated

drunk

like in a way that like Zeke and Xander

are like we have not seen this sort of

inter like okay like things are bad this

is not going to be

she's not coming back tomorrow

a puppy ain't going to do it

no not at all and so 2 days later uh

when Lily gets back to her place there's

a delivery guy and he's dropping off

Betty Betty has been refurbished

well that's very nice

it's yeah the you're like okay We're

trending up. Right.

Right. Right. Okay. All right.

Yes. Because Yeah. When Betty was so

janky and she like threw the package

away, she just like left her in the

lobby cuz she wasn't usable any so is

this a joke? She's just like checking

out on your experiment just like left

Betty there and took off.

She's like, I can't do this anymore.

Yes. And so they they fixed Betty and

sent her back. And Lily also got a job

offer for a publication that

WXE does not own. So, she's like,

"Things are looking up. I'm going to be

able to move into my own apartment in a

minute." So, we're excited about this

for her. It's now a couple weeks later.

She has her own place. And when she

walks into her apartment, she finds Zeke

in there. She's like, "Fucking hell."

Like,

"What now?"

Yes. Like, "Will you guys not just leave

me alone?" And then it it is a very

dramatic scene, but like Zeke gives her

a knife and is like, "I like either cut

me or come home." Like

I was thinking of Shakespeare like cut

me do I not bleed like

just not the energy but kind of

I'm not alive without you sort of

energy.

Sure. Sure. Sure.

Like the

Yeah. If I make me feel pain so I can

feel something like that.

So angsty.

Yes. Zeke has all of the angst in this

scene. But, you know, it [ __ ] works

because she's like, "I'm not I don't

want to cut you." She

Well, the other option was to come home.

So,

she goes back to the penthouse. Like,

okay.

I mean, she didn't like break her lease

that night, but like is like, "I'll I'll

come over." And so,

West and and Xander are very excited

about this as they're like, "What? She's

here? Okay, perfect." But it's like a

little stilted and uncomfy at dinner

because they have some difficult

conversations that they they need to

have. And so as they get into those hard

convos like West owns that they were

wrong about the article and it's like

yep like

I I apologize we were wrong on that but

also you did still lie to us and you

told us you were Lily Sloan and you're

Liliana Constantine and like she's a

little like oh [ __ ] Like that means

it's not safe anymore, right?

Um but then she's also like if you'd

asked I would have told you. Like this

could have been a

goes both ways guys. But then Wes's

response is like, "Well, I guess we'll

never know."

[ __ ] I was annoyed by that. She

gets up and storms off.

But then Zeke and Xander are like,

"Motherfucker, fix this." Right? Zeke's

like, "We were so close." Yeah. Zeke's

like, "Do you know how [ __ ] hard I

had to work to get her back in this

house and then you're going to go?

She could have stabbed me, bro."

He would have been into it. It would

have been fine.

That was not a deal breaker for him.

Jokes on you. I'm into that [ __ ]

Oh my god. So Wes follows her to her

room and they clear the air. They have

then Zeke and Xander join and they all

have a solidifying group [ __ ] scene. I

did appreciate that she didn't just like

immediately

Yeah.

Oh, you guys publicly humiliated me.

Well, you apologize, so everything's

fine,

right?

Like since you gave me a knife.

Yes.

So after they have their kind of

solidifying

cleansing [ __ ] if you will, they have

more conversations about Nico. And so

she tells the guys that Nico helped her

fake her death. Um, but like in a way

where like they were on v like a family

like their family had a yacht or

something that they would frequently

vacation off the coast of wherever and

so she like jumped and swam sort of like

when she escaped.

It was a true like escape.

It was like oh the last time anyone saw

her she had been on a boat and the

cliffs and the rocks there so like she

probably didn't make it like that sort

of energy.

Um, Nico and his second in command,

Dean, who's also his lover, uh, helped

her escape.

Her dad, Carmine, his plan was to marry

her off to a dude who was like 70 and

super abusive and

she wasn't about that life. And then

this is also the conversation where it's

clicking where like Wes is like, I met

you before. And so then he tells her

that uh what she'd walked in on that day

had been the guys had um had all this

seed money and her dad stole their

investment money and so Wes went to

confront him and then Carmine like just

like pulled a gun on him

and so it was Lily running in and be

like no daddy like please don't hurt

anyone that saved Wes's life. Wes West

is there's a T but I say it fast. um

West's West's life. Um

I'm trying my best.

We're doing great.

We're doing great. And so pretty much as

soon as he got out of the office, they

took off and like we're not going to try

to be in this Vegas casino scene

anymore. We're just going to move to New

York,

start over. Um,

but like West also had like a I just

left that 10-year-old like I I left a

10-year-old girl there knowing that he

was like an abusive piece of [ __ ] And

she's like also like what were you going

to do? He was my dad. Like

right

if you tried to take

you were a grown man and I was 10. Like

that has

Yeah, there was a little bit of like

weird.

Yeah. Like Wes like momentary like

self-imposed guilt that she's like what

what were you going to do called

defacts? I don't think that would have

gone well for anybody like no.

So also in this conversation clearing

the air they do tell her that uh they

paid Trey the first night

they also tell her cockroach gate was

fake

shocking again.

Yeah. She's like that felt. But then

also we find out after this conversation

later in that night where not even

Xander and Zeke knew this. West helped

her get the job at the new media

company.

Oh.

And Lily was like, "No, I love that job.

I thought I like earned it." And he's

like, "No, no, no." He's like, "You

did?" He's like, "That

article was published under our

company."

Another like we don't poach each other's

people. So like I reached out to someone

who had a a peer with another company

and said that you were someone they

should consider. But like he's like you

still got it on your own merit

approved the trade basically.

Yes.

So the guys are all at this point

they're like we want Lily to be safe.

She like clearly can't be safe for as

long as she has to live in the shadows.

So, they decide to reach out to Nico to

try and figure out

what do we do here?

Yeah. Uh, and sort it out. They schedule

a meeting with Nico

and then they all decide together that

they're going to take out Carmine so

that way Lily can be safe. Also worth

noting um, as I'd mentioned, Nico and

Dean I think was the second

are lovers.

Do they get a book?

I don't think they get a book. Um, I

think it's just more of a either like

Nico's married or Dean is married or one

of those, but like a lot of like the

societal expectations and Carmine seems

to be picking up on their relationship a

little bit more where it seemed like he

was going to be trying to separate them

as well and sending away, right?

Yes. Um, I think less of their lives not

being safe and just more of like

Carmine's like, I'm going to make this

exceptionally inconvenient for you.

Sorry, Dean. You have to go work here

now. M.

So, everyone's kind of like, Carmine's

got to go at this point.

Um, the guys surprise Lily after this

meeting by bringing Nico and Dean over

for dinner, but also Lily was surprising

them that night by cooking nude in the

kitchen,

which like

was a really funny scene because Lily's

like, "They're going to love this. It's

going to be so funny." funny. And like

Xander walks in and is like and like

throws his jacket on her and she's like,

"Sorry, I thought you'd like it." And

he's like, "I do. That is not the

problem. Your brother is here. We have

guests."

A quick text that people are coming over

would not have gone a miss. I get

irritated when people come over without

a text or something so that I can like

pick up my shoes that are on the floor.

Like no, that would not be it for me.

Also, for how sexually

awakened y'all live your lives, like it

didn't seem that far-fetched that she

would be naked when you came home.

Sure.

You come home and find each other

banging all all the time.

There's four different people. There's a

lot of different options.

Yeah.

Right.

Um, so that was a bit of a funny scene,

but they all have a great time hanging

out. They're all getting along great,

but Lily's really not thrilled with the

plan that all of the guys are going to

go after Carmine when she's like, I want

them safe. I don't like they're getting

in over their heads. Like,

I want Nico safe. Just this like

I

Zeke and Wes don't need to get involved

in this sort of sort of energy.

So, while all of the guys are asleep, um

the dogs need need to go out and so she

goes to let the dogs out and then she

calls her mom.

Okay.

Uh and it's her mom is the first and

only female head of the Vegas mafia.

Cool.

Niece of Giovani Santangelo. And so she

says to her mom, she's like, "I think

it's time we show the world who I fully

am." And like that's the end of the

chapter. And you're like, "What?

Huh?

I'm a secret ninja assassin.

What?

Sorry.

I'm sorry. What? I'm a secret ninja

assassin.

Um, in the morning, Wes drops her at

work as usual. And so, uh, she has

scheduled an email to go to all three of

them later.

We do love a scheduled send. Well, the

funniest part is at one point they

realized that she like had scheduled it

to be sent and they're like she used

this app that I showed her how to use to

schedule send. I'm like G Suite you can

just do that in Google. Like the [ __ ]

you mean you have an app for that?

Yeah.

When Hannah and I started working

together, our director over us at the

time would always like be available but

not too available. Don't Don't send that

email for 10 minutes after you get it.

Make sure they wait a minute.

Yeah.

Schedule send that [ __ ]

Yeah. Yeah.

So, but yeah, I did I was like, why are

they talking about a special app?

You can even schedule your text messages

to be sent now. Like, it's not

I do it constantly.

Literally all the time.

I've only done it once and it was within

this past week and I forget. Maybe it

was to you.

I forget who it was to. Um anyway,

when Lily gets to the elevators, uh some

goons come out that are her dad's goons.

And so she's like, "Okay, they've

already found me. The plan is working.

Look a little scared. We got this." And

so you're like, "Okay, some there's

something happening here that we're kind

of figuring out on the fly." Uh they

tell her that they have Nico and Dean

and that they won't hurt them if she

goes with them.

Okay.

But it seems as though this was kind of

part of her plan. Like as soon as her

father knew she was alive, he was

obviously going to send people for her

sort of energy.

They're falling into my trap. Is her

energy

a little bit. So, switch to Xander's

perspective. Oh, yeah. I never mentioned

that.

It's quad point of view.

I figured that.

Yeah.

I just didn't feel the need to confirm.

you know.

Well, cuz I also feel like as per most

of this review, a lot of the time it's

not really relevant to be like, "Switch

to this person, switch to that person."

This time it does feel a little more

relevant. Um, Xander gets a call from

West who's like, "Check your email."

And it's the message from Lily that she

had like scheduled sent to all of them

that says she loves them, but she can't

let them sacrifice them sacrifice

themselves for her. that she's leaving

to handle it and she has allies and that

she'll be back soon and tell them

everything.

Okay. And they're like the okay what? So

like they're trying to piece this

together. They get the security footage

from her company and like see that she

was escorted out. They're like but wait

that like that was right when we dropped

her at work and this email only came

through recently. She planned this.

She schedule sent it.

She's scheduful sent.

I'm like, was it 8:00 p.m. 8:00 a.m.

1:00 p.m. or the other

or pick another time

or 8 a.m. tomorrow?

Yeah,

pick another time. I always pick another

time and make it a random time. It just

makes me feel better.

Oh, yeah. It is fun to make it a little

pizzazzier.

This is going to send at 9:21. Today's

my sister's birthday, the date of this

recording. Schedule sent when I woke up

at 2 am this morning and was just awake.

Schedule sent happy birthday 9:21

for 9.

So once the guys realized that her email

was scheduled, they're like

knew they'd be wanting to go after her.

They decide they're going to go to

Vegas. They look, they call people,

they're coordinating, they're getting a

armory of weapons ready for their

arrival.

Team prepared or something.

But yeah, I'm like also you guys are

billionaire media d like what Zeke have

tactical training like

Zeke maybe like cuz he's done the

background checks, right? But I'm also a

little like, "Hey guys, when did you get

the spy training

at the same time that Lily got her ninja

assassin training?"

You get it. So, they're loading up on

weapons and like we're going to Vegas to

save our girl. Um, switch to Lily. She's

already in Vegas. Carmine is there. This

whole kind of like villain monologue.

Um,

we are learning things very much on the

fly through this scene. So, Carmine is

apparently actually not her biological

father.

Um, and which means Nico isn't her twin.

Um.

Huh.

Yes.

Her mom was forced to give her up.

Okay. Because her mom was already

married and had had an affair. And with

like the different mafia families, it

would have like caused

okay

all of like her mom had already been

essentially in like a business marriage

and then had an affair with someone else

and then got pregnant.

And so

Angelo is Lily's dad. Angelo is

Carmine's brother.

Yes. So Carmine is actually Lily's

uncle, not her father. Carmine killed

Angelo.

Cool. Um,

yes. So, so that he could be over

the dawn or whatever.

Yes. Over all of the casinos as well and

have all of this power. Um, he's hit her

like twice during this whole

conversation

and is like like she hits him, he starts

going in on her harder than his right

hand Stefan or Stefano or someone like

that is like, "Hey, like

why

maybe don't beat her to death. Let her

see your brother before she dies. Is

he's like just like you can kill her.

Just like let her see Nico first. Say

her final words.

Yeah. Part of you're like, "Oh, thank

you." Right. How how thoughtful.

Mhm.

So, as that's happening, they hear shoes

coming down the hall. They hear heels

clicking. It is

uh Ludvika, I think is her name.

Sure. Good.

I could be wrong on that. Um, but that

is Lily's mother.

So, she's there and she's like, "Did you

think I'd ever leave my daughter

unprotected?"

And then

Stfano or whatever his name is is like,

"Boss, what do you want me to do with

her? Like, what do you want me to do?"

And Carmine tells him what to do. And

then you realize like he's actually

right talking to the mom. And then you

also connect at this time that he is

Doc.

Um, and so mom is like, "Did you really

think I would leave my daughter

unprotected? Did it not dawn on you that

this man showed up seeking employment 2

days after my newborn daughter was

placed with you?" Like,

right,

bro.

Right.

I've had someone who's been in your

inner circle this entire time

from the jump.

Yes. Um, and then Doc kills Carmide.

Yes. So, this is all like happening,

wrapping up. Nico's shocked to find out

that he doesn't have a twin, that Lily

is like 2 days older than him.

That would be shocking,

right? And she's like, I mean, you're

still my brother. We still did like grow

up like that. It still counts.

But yeah, that would be a

to find out that someone wasn't your

twin,

right? Like finding out somebody's not

your sibling would be rough. But finding

out somebody's not your twin, it feels

like it would hit differently.

And you know, I think at this point

Nico's just like, "This may as well

happen."

He's like, "Sure."

Yes. Um, so when all of the guys have

landed and they're like there and

they're like, "We're going to like save

her from car." Yes. When they get there,

they're like squad cars are already

there, ambulances, and like oh my gosh,

like what? Like it's already happened.

and they see Nico and Nico's like,

"Yeah, she's she's at her mom's." And

they're like, "Her mom's?" Like the she

has a mom. They're like, "We don't have

all of these details." They're like,

"Where's that?" And whatever hotel Nico

like says.

Like West is like, "Wait, that's her

mom?" Like, "Oh, oops. Oh, connecting

some more dots here."

So, they go to her mom's hotel. They

meet her mother. They all have a big

conversation. Her mom's like, "Okay,

like are you going to like

declare like get DNA like DNA testing

officially done so that you can claim

your rightful spot as heir of the

whatever family she grew up in.

Mhm.

Constantine family. And she's like, "No,

like that's Nico's. Like Nico couldn't

have that." She's like, "I'm going to go

back to New York."

Mhm.

And live my life there. Like I I had

left for a reason. I'm still happy to

leave that behind me. Nico will do a

great job with that. Um, and then her

mom's like, "Well, okay." Like, her

guards come out and they're like,

"Ma'am, you've got to go." And she's

like, "Okay." So, like that's kind of

the end. Like the guys take Lily back to

New York. She is able to like explain

all of the family dynamics and what

happened here. And so, I do think part

of it, quite frankly, I read it a couple

times. I'm like, when do we learn each

of these pieces? Cuz it felt a little

messy and trying to make sure I was

getting all of it. And some of them you

don't even find out until now. like

after she's already

left her mom. So like

her mom had an affair with Angelo

and then because it would bring shame

and like it would be this big debacle

with her mom's husband and their

business marriage

um she asked so like Carmine being like

they she asked the Constantine family to

take Lily in and so they placed her with

Carmine. Carmine um knew that obviously

Lily was not his and had no issues

abusing her,

right? And using her.

Mhm.

Yeah.

And so at some point, Doc realized what

was happening and had her bedroom moved

so that way her and Nico had bedrooms

that had like a Jack and Jill bathroom

situation that was shared and then the

the abuse stopped. Um but yes, getting

kind of all of these details,

all those dynamics and stuff.

Yes.

Um and so part of her ultimate decision

to fake her death was that Carmine was

going to marry her off to her great

uncle.

What?

Yeah, that's where you're like that.

Ew.

But like then he was killed a few days

like he was killed at some point along

the way. So like now everyone who's a

threat is dead.

Well, that wraps up neatly then.

So convenient, right? We love when

everyone just dies and then we don't

have to deal with some things.

Oh,

I mean little little. So, now it's about

like 8 weeksish in the future, and

there's a party at the club event where

uh Lily had last been humiliated when

she like showed up and the guys were

like, "We don't know you." And so, she's

already nervous about like going to this

event with the guys. And the guys are

like all you can tell they all feel bad

as they're like watching her like be

nervous

cuz it's like tainted now. Yeah. Well,

and even when they get there, like it's

the same bouncer security guy who's out

front and like they make a point to be

like, "This is our girlfriend. If you

see her and she's with us or without us,

you treat her like gold." Like,

and so they're really like trying to

like make up for some of that

inside when they get there. It's a party

for Bree's PR company

and Lily's like, "What the actual [ __ ]

is happening?"

Are they going to do some petty [ __ ] and

be like, "It's Bree's fault that we

[ __ ] up this relationship." Um, no.

What they're going to do is when Bri

comes over to talk to them, they're

going to be like, "Yeah, this isn't your

party. This is our party. All of these

clients are ours. You have no company

anymore." And she's like, "Wait, what?

No, they all have contracts." And

they're like, "Contracts are

meaningless. We'll pay all of the legal

fees for all of these people to come be

our clients if you sue them.

Have fun. Don't [ __ ] with our girl

moving forward.

So, that's how it ends for Bri. And then

the guys I was laughing earlier when you

said it because they do update the name

of the building to WXYZ.

She is the Y

cuz Lily. Oh, no. Because she's the

purpose.

I think I can't. I think it was

mess with why

that but the because she is our why it

feels cheesy in another way.

It hurts me a little bit you.

It hurts you.

And then they all uh they're like we

can't be like legally married but like

we're all now legally business partners.

And then they all get like matching

bands for the that have like four bands

each.

Cute.

And then

they just keep doing it forever.

Well, that's nice.

Yeah. The end.

What a fun journey.

It really is a fun

fun one. And what I enjoy about it, for

as silly as this sounds, is like all of

the drama of like them like humiliating

her, that's all probably around like the

50%

40 50 cuz there is a lot of the time of

them like

realizing they [ __ ] up, her trying to

move on and figure things out. So, I

appreciated the pacing in that regard

that it wasn't like the

75% breakup and then we're going to like

get through it.

The third act breakup or whatever. Yes.

Yeah. Where there's like actual time to

repair.

Yeah.

And we like didn't pretend that there

wasn't something to repair.

Right. Right. Like cuz I think there are

so many books that we read where I'm

like you just like humiliated this

person and then you showed up with

flowers like

and a puppy.

Well, and so many times like girl want

more for yourself. I want more for you.

Like

yeah, I did appreciate that about Lily.

It seemed like she really was setting

good boundaries and like taking good

care of yourself like

Yes.

Yeah. And I also appreciated the

hints of trauma that felt very realistic

and how they were approached and

presented,

right?

Um, but it wasn't like a weird

unnecessary description that was like

really uncomfy

and felt less like they were using

previous trauma as a trope.

Right. Right. Yes.

Trauma tropes can

get exhausting.

Yeah. Yeah. And a little icky.

Yes. And so I think being like, no, we

recognize that there was trauma there.

We see places where it impacts, but it's

not this just like

pervasive

everyday. This is all consuming.

Right. Right. Right.

Um, no, I thoroughly enjoy this this

book. I I think it's on on Kindle

Unlimited if I'm remembering correctly,

but it's one of those that like

I think I got it and like read it twice

pretty like quickly back to back and was

like I'm just going to buy this one.

Like

it's an easy one to just like

fall back in

like a palette cleanser kind of like get

out of a reading rut

something.

I mean it is like a mafia reverse harum.

So like

what you choose your own palette

cleanser. Fair enough.

I think some people choose like Megan

Quinn as a palette.

This is not a comfort read.

No,

you know, but it might be like I'm in a

rut and I need something to like

jumpst start me or something.

Okay, I know I just said no, but

honestly, may I feel like it is a

comfort read than more of a rut read.

Okay. Okay.

If that makes sense.

It does. It does. Um

cuz when I picked it up when I was

thinking about reviewing it and read

again I'm like oh this is just

for as much sex as there it and there I

really skimmed over there's so much

penetration like there's so many holes

to penetrate right like good for them. I

almost said that earlier. Like, choose

your own hole. Like, choose your own.

Our holes are ratings.

I was going to say bikes. I was going to

say bikes. That is safer.

Jesus. Wheels are holy, though.

No, they're not.

Wheels have a giant hole in their

center. They are by definition holy.

When they're on a stand

like Chelsea, is the bike attached to

the wheel?

That's important to clarify.

Okay.

Okay. How many How many?

Um,

four bikes, eight wheels. Okay. 10. Four

tracking.

I would go like six or seven wheels.

Oh wow. Okay. Okay.

Like it really is that easy to read for

like as intense of

for as many intense topics as are

covered in this book. I really feel like

it's

approachable for what it is.

Um

and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Like I've

read it several times um over the years

since it has come out. But yeah, I mean,

it's not one that like if I just like

see someone walking down the street and

they're like, "Do you want a book

recommendation?" Then I'm going to be

like, "Well, how many dicks you want?"

Like that's probably not the book I'm

going to recommend. But for people that

like really enjoy this genre,

um, or just like smut in general, it

probably would be

I'm not I haven't thought this through,

so like don't hold me to top five, but

I'd say like top 10 of like books I

would recommend. This may actually be in

my top 10.

Okay.

Big words. Wow.

Well, I'm going to double check cuz I

think it's on my list, but I will make

sure it's there cuz it sounds like it's

worth a read.

And earlier when you were like, did I

read it? And I was like, spiritually

maybe.

I mean, spiritually, yes. But, you know.

Yes.

But it still sounds nice.

Yeah. I think, and I know we have

already said this, I I really think the

pacing of this one

is what made it stand out to me versus

some of the other ones that fall within

the same genre,

which made it feel a little bit more

fresh.

Sure.

So, all that said, six or seven wheels,

so all four bikes are present.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mhm.

That's nice.

Yeah. Betty Betty

to see another day.

Yeah.

All right. All that said, let us know

how many

how many wheels you would give it. Not

bike holes, which is what I

Let us know how many bike holes you

would

I don't like it. I didn't like it. And I

can't tell you why.

I'll say this. No matter how many times

I say bike holes, it won't get better.

It's not getting better.

Um,

so yes, like, subscribe,

let us know what you think. Send us your

recommendations.

There's no shame in bike holes.

I don't know how to ride a bike. I never

learned

what?

Yeah, I never learned how to ride a

bike. You're not my first friend who's

told me that. But I also feel like we've

been in this friendship for a really

long time to not know that about you.

Yeah, I just never learned.

Do your sisters know how to ride bikes?

My older sister does. I don't know if my

younger sister does. I don't think so.

I should call her. Ask.

Is it her birthday?

Shoot her a little text. No, it's my

older sister.

Yeah. No, I'll shoot I'll shoot Hope a

text. Hey, do you ride bikes

and you are gay? And this is Pride Month

currently at the time of this recording.

That's not It's not anything gay.

How would it do not know the Queen song?

It's escaping me right now.

There's a Queen song called Bicycle

where he just repeats, "I want to ride

my bicycle."

It's like a queer anthem.

I will blare it for the rest of Pride

Month now that I know. I didn't I didn't

know about this anthem.

It is. Yeah.

I will adjust my actions accordingly.

This is great to know. Okay. Um let us

know how many bike holes you would

recommend. I just wanted to say that to

see Hannah's face. Don't forget to like,

subscribe,

rate, review. It'd be cooler if your

ratings were like five stars. If they're

not, you don't have to leave them. Um,

if it's not five stars, feel free to

wait a little bit and see if it goes up

before you leave that rating.

We appreciate you guys. We love you so

much. Bye, smut [ __ ] Bye.

Well, that's it for this week, Smut

[ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz

it sure was great for us. If you're

digging what we're doing, it would mean

a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and

review the show wherever you're

listening right now. Maybe tell that

sexy someone to lend us an ear. We love

you. We appreciate you. And we'll see

you next week. Stay smiley.

[Music]