Smut Club

Well, hello all you beautiful people.

You know what time it is.

Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and

everyone in between.

Gather around. Get you something real

nice to sip on and comfy to slip on.

Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's

your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah.

[Music]

[Laughter]

Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club.

I'm Hannah. And I'm Chelsea.

And this

and this is the podcast where we are two

licensed therapists who sometimes

daydrink and sometimes don't

and review smut books of varying

caliber. I almost had it. I think you

did a beautiful job.

Thank you.

Today is a drinking day.

Clearly,

penog greater

box.

Yep. We are still at this point as of

this recording. We are still not

sponsored by Boa Box.

Yeah.

Be a lot cooler if we were.

It would.

Uh cuz I'll also say, and this is by no

means trying to like Boa DM me. Not not

trying to make that happen. It if you

wanted to, you could though. I'm

enjoying this pino more than I expected.

Oh, me too. Yeah. It's not as sweet as I

thought it would be. It's nice.

Yes. I think I normally lean Chardonnay.

Me, too.

But I sometimes feel like the the Boda

Chardonnay has a specific aftertaste,

which I don't mind. I'm just not always

looking for it.

Sure.

Um and so I'm enjoying this pino as cuz

I feel like I typically do the

Chardonnay or the rosé.

Yes. Mhm. Mhm.

And you know what I won't do though?

What?

Soft blanc.

M. No.

No. I'm not a grapefruit girly.

Me either.

And that is a a hard one if you don't

like the acidic fruits in that regard.

Speaking of that, on my way here this

morning, for some reason, I had the

thought that um cuz I I guess I saw an

advertisement for the new um lavender

latte at Starbucks. I was like, "That's

interesting,

but I hate lavender." And then I had the

thought and I was like, well, I did

really like that lemon and lavender

lemonade or something that I had at

Chelsea's. I'm going to try it and it

was a mistake, but I paid $6 for it and

so I drank it anyway and I just

committed to it.

I like a iced lavender latte, but I

don't know if I've had lavender as a hot

like in a hot beverage option and I

don't know if I would enjoy that outside

of tea. It was it was cold, but for me

it was the the like the flavor itself

was fine, but then behind it was like

lavender and I was like

you can very easily overdo

Yeah.

the floral notes

with beverages.

Yeah. It's a fine line.

It's a rookie move.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, Starbucks a bunch of noobs.

Maybe because I had CO two or three

times, maybe my taste buds are different

now and that's why I liked the lemonade,

but that wasn't it. I think it was just

better balanced.

So, I'm just going to admit that I don't

remember serving you lavender lemonade.

You did? Or honey lavender something.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Wasn't it lemonade?

So, I have uh True Honey Tea Company

makes a lavender lemonade tea bag. I had

if it was iced, I steeped it in a I made

like a cold concentrate. Yes. Oh, that

was Yeah,

I should make more of that.

It was really good.

I forgot about that.

Yeah. See, they did the right amount of

lavender. That's why we like it.

Nailed it.

Take note, Starbucks.

All right. So, all that said, today we

are reviewing Sleet Princess by SJ

Tilly.

Is this hockey? How'd you know? Well, I

was like, this is going to go one of two

ways. Either she's going to be like an

ice princess fa situation, but that's

not usually the energy you bring.

Sometimes, but not usually.

Yeah.

So, I was like, feels more like hockey

potentially.

Yeah. So, this one is hockey. Great

call. Um, and this is actually the

fourth book in the series. It's the

final book, but they're all standalone.

Um,

so there are like references to the

friend group a lot in the book, I think.

I'm like, and all of the names are based

off of like whatever the dudes like

freaking nicknamed the girls. So, like I

think it's like sleep kitten, sleep

sugar, sleep banshee, and sleep

princess.

I got to be honest.

If a man's nickname for me is Banshee,

probably not. No, I don't think that's a

person I want to be romantically

involved with.

Yeah. It's not giving that you like the

person, right?

It's not giving like enjoyment of the

relationship.

It's not the kindest nickname.

No, it's giving you screech at me like

Yeah.

But you know, some people are into that.

That's true. That's true. Yeah.

And so we love that that nickname is

available

to them.

To them.

Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough.

Okay. So, but this one is sleep

princess. Yes.

This opens with Luke. Um, Luke is one of

the co- captains for the Minnesota SLET,

the NHL team.

He is, uh, I think he's 36.

Yeah, cuz at some point I think he says

like his birthday is is coming up and

he'll be 37 soon, but like it's passive,

so could be off on that. Um, he's close

to retiring. Like

I was going to say that's getting up

there for a hockey player.

Yes. which is kind of where he's like,

you know, like all of my like friends

and like peers have found love and are

kind of like entering that next season

and I I too would love to find love and

I only have so many years left in me. I

don't rebound like I used to. That sort

of energy.

Um he is in Mexico for his cousin's

wedding.

That's nice. Yes.

Was that a previous book?

No.

Okay.

No. Uh

they do that sometimes. Well, they do.

They They really frequently do. No, but

he is his uh the cousin's best man.

Okay.

And so they are going on a run and

working out together and just like

getting a workout in at the gym before

all of the wedding festivities kind of

start.

Switch to Natalie. That's who we meet

next.

She is also at the resort resort for her

cousin's wedding. Not the same wedding.

Okay, that's a good distinction.

Yes. This is not like they're not in the

same wedding parties together. Like it's

not there's not that much

happened to be in the same place.

Yes. They are at the same resort,

right?

For some reason in my head when it said

that they were each there for their

cousin's wedding, I was waiting for it

to like be the same wedding to the point

that like they flew home and were no

longer in Mexico. And I'm like, "Oh, so

it's not I was still waiting." I don't

know why I built that in my head.

Well, because that I mean that feels

like a book I've read, but where you

know, and then they dance together and

then they have a one night stand and she

turns out to be pregnant and 6 months,

you know what I mean? Like,

yes,

that's kind of a tropey thing, you know?

1,000%. and like the oh we were like

making eye contact and like the jokes

like in the ceremon like those sorts of

like cute moments and things like that.

That's not what's happening here.

Different weddings. Um she actually I

don't I think her cousin she's not in

the wedding party cuz her cousin didn't

do wedding parties. She's just like

there for the wedding but the bride is

still kind of bridezilla and is like

I need all of my friends who are here

like all of my girls like we're still

going to the gym. We're still like doing

so one of those like I'd say she like

doesn't have a formal wedding party but

just has a bunch of friends that seems

like like house party might be a better

term for it.

Right.

And so they're like we're going to the

gym and Natalie is not thrilled. She's

like I'm on [ __ ] vacation but like

right okay

you're the bride. I guess I'm going to

the gym. Like I'm not loving this but I

guess that's what I'm doing. So um back

to Luke it. So this book

there are so many chapters. Holy [ __ ]

It's like the book is like less than 400

pages and I think there were like 120

chapters.

Yes. Like and especially there are a lot

of chapters like and it goes pretty much

back and forth every other chapter on

point of view. But like there will be a

chapter that's like four sentences and

then the next page is another four

sentence chapter from the next person.

So like things do kind of move

quickly

in some regard and but it is a lot of

back and forth. Sometimes it feels

relevant, sometimes it really doesn't.

Yeah.

Um

so Luke is on this run with his cousin,

walks into the gym, immediately sees

this like beautiful woman just laying

out on the weight bench reading her

Kindle.

I like that a lot. He's like, I am into

her. I would I I need to know more about

this situation. So, he just walks up and

goes, "Mine Sharon, Princess Princess."

Um, clock it. Page nine, his

introduction to this woman already has

the nickname. That might be a record.

It might be.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cuz I know when we just reviewed Twisted

Love, you were like, "The nickname shows

up at 25%." And in my head, I was like,

I know I'm reviewing this book soon, and

I can't wait to beat Hannah's record. I

don't know if we if we I don't know if

you can top page nine.

That is early,

especially when they've they don't know

each other.

They've never spoken.

Yeah. This isn't like a they grew up

together, brothers, best friend sort of

trope.

You're probably the only one who can get

away with that on page one, right? But

I'm like, page N is so freaking early

for the nickname.

Well, generally in real life, when a guy

calls you some kind of nickname at the

gym or when you're on the street, at a

restaurant, whatever, it's not cute at

all.

No.

Like, it's usually extremely either

condescending or just like generally

creepy. Like, that's not that's not good

vibes. Well, and they each have a couple

nicknames throughout the book for each

other. So, like he calls her Princess,

Green Eyes, or Little Royal.

Okay.

Like the whole like going between the

three. And

he has a couple Mr. Muscles.

Nope.

Player.

And I think there there might be another

one, but I'm just like, Lord, so many

freaking nicknames. So, uh, she is

startled when he's like, "Mind sharing?"

And like drops her Kindle. He grabs it

and just starts reading.

Mhm.

And it's a sex scene. I'm sure

it is smut. It is indeed smut.

And so she's like, "Can I have that

back?" Like reaches for it. He's like

holding it out of her arms reach.

Finally gives it back to her and he's

like, "What's your name?" And she's

like, "Princess is good." And just like

walks away.

You know all you need to know. Thank

you.

Uhhuh. And she's like, "All right, put

in my time at the freaking gym. I showed

up,

right?

I'm going to the beach now. I'm on

vacation. Let no man stop me. I'm not a

freaking bridesmaid.

Don't give me tasks.

I didn't sign up for this."

Yes. Um, so she is down and

swimming and and just like kind of

floating in the water. Luke goes out and

is at the beach immediately like clocks

the pink swimsuit and he's like, "Yep,

there she is.

I'm here. Hello."

So goes out and like swims out to her,

but then startles her and she just like

goes under because

I'm sure.

Yes. I'm like as any of us would do if

we're just floating in the ocean and

someone startles us.

Um, and so then he's like apologizing

and he's like, "It's you can push me

under if you want." And she's like, "I'm

not gonna." And then like before she

finishes the sentence, just dumps some.

And he's like,

"Good for her.

I I respect it."

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Good for her.

Um, they introduce themselves, start

flirting, like very hard from the jump.

This like instant attraction.

She's from outside Chicago. And uh and

he's like, "Oh, like because he says he

plays hockey and I forget exact but like

it's something where he's just like oh

you live outside Chicago so you can't

claim Chicago. The sle is your team

now." And you're like what the good sir

you don't know this.

Your face is so unimpressed.

Well I'm just like hockey never heard of

it. Like, how do you know if she even is

into hockey? Like, why are we assigning

her a team? Which is okay. All right.

Well, I think it was more of like a Oh,

so you play like

he's like, you're not Chicago. You said

you live outside Chicago. So, like sle

is your team now. Which still you're

okay. Roll your eyes. It's fine.

Well, it's giving desperation, but go

ahead. Like, okay.

Well, she's into the desperation. It's

working for them.

Hey, different strokes and all that.

Good for her and him, I guess.

I like that every single thing that

Luke's doing, Hannah's like unimpressed.

Please move on to the next. And I'm

like, and then he did this and you're

like still unimpressed.

Hate it.

And I'm like, Natalie does not seem to

feel that way.

I'm happy for both of them. They really

found each other. It sounds like Oh, I

mean, we're pretty early still. I

imagine there's some plot.

I

I imagine there's a plot. Maybe

they had been out in deeper waters and

he ends up like swimming them back into

like slightly shallower territory.

They end up kissing. It gets heated. Uh

it would probably get more heated, but

then someone on the beach calls for her

and it's like one of it's not her

cousin, but it's one of the non

bridesmaids and she's like, "Well, I

guess I probably got to go get ready for

the rehearsal." So, she kind of takes

off and he's like, "Well, I'm going to

swim around for a minute and then I I

too will get out, but no need to scare

the children right now." Oh, no. You go

ahead.

So awkward.

He's like, I will stay where I am.

What's that episode of Community where

the guy from Subway has sex with Britta?

It's a whole thing. But they listen to

them having sex and the guy from Subway

is like, "Unacceptable. You're fired."

And then he's like, "And then if someone

would hand me my coat, I would make my

way out." And everybody's like, "Your

coat is next to the door." And he's

like, "If somebody would hand me my coat

and everybody's just like,

"Yeah, that's what it makes me think of.

Hand me my coat.

hand me my coat.

All of the things I think of with

community,

that's not one of the But like when you

said it, I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I do." But

I whenever I think of Brida, I think of

her organizing the political protest and

when she goes to protest something

and no one else shows up and then she

sees them all walking by and she's like,

"What happened guys? I thought we were

all like gonna like fight for the

animals together." And they were like,

"Well, I ate a cheeseburger and then I

wasn't cold anymore."

Yes.

And as someone who's been predominantly

meat-free for over a decade,

Yep.

I was like, "Oh, is that the answer? I'm

always [ __ ] cold."

Oh, no. Have a cheeseburger.

The solution. Absolutely the solution.

Supplement, I suppose.

So Natalie is my urine supplement would

also be helpful.

Anemia runs in my family.

I should get my labs done again soon.

It's been a minute.

Preventative health matters.

Mhm. To be fair, I got my lab work done

probably about 6 months ago and then my

doctor text me and said, "It came in.

When are you free to schedule?" And I

said,

"Let me get back to you." And by the

time I get back to them, I'm gonna need

new lab work. That was already spilled

over six months ago.

Yeah,

my bad. So, okay, Natalie is at her

cousin's rehearsal at this point and

Googles Luke because Yes, that's what

you do.

Yes.

And so, as she is uh looking at her

phone, her dad sees it and is like, "Oh,

let's let's start with one team." Haha.

Because apparently Natalie's and her

dad, they own Wagner Corp. I don't know.

Um, it sounds like general business.

They do

very lucrative. She has like a trust of

like a 100 mil that like she's never

even touched because she doesn't need to

based off of her like

the So her dad just bought the NFL team

in Minneapolis.

Oh. So, he just bought the biters and

they will be Yep. I didn't name it.

They will be moving to from Illinois to

Minnesota.

Oh.

Very soon because he just bought this

team.

Um, which she's like,

"Yeah, I wasn't really didn't want to

lead with that with

meeting Luke." She's like, "When do you

tell them that you're moving?" And then

when they ask why you or like because my

dad just bought an NFL team like

right right

I don't really know how to slip that

into conversation

or be like well the sleep will be my

team in about a month. Yay. Wink wink.

Yes.

So later that night she is creeping his

Instagram and does what all of us have

accidentally done at some point.

Yep.

Likes a photo.

Yep.

Too far back and is immediately like

[ __ ] and like tries to unlike it, but

like by the time she unlikes it sees

that she has a new DM and she's like,

"Oh,

okay."

And so like he's sitting there and he's

like texting her and then like his

cousin is like annoying him and he's

like, "Remind me why I like room with my

cousin and any room with like where

where you're staying h like that sort of

energy and she's just like

you can have the floor room 112."

All right. So he just takes off.

He's like, I will not wait for her to

change her mind.

What a wingman.

Yeah. Goes,

"Great job."

Just just knocks on her door. They She

opens it. They immediately start going

at it again, right? Uh

then there's a knock on her door and

it's her dad and he's like, "Hey, I

brought ice cream." And she's like,

"Fuck, [ __ ] fuck." She's like, "Sorry

about this." and kicks him out. But she

has like a swim up pool off the back.

So, and he just like laughs.

Swims out.

Yeah. He's just like this. It's a story

kind of energy. And he's like, well,

carries his phone over his head and just

like wads out.

You're 36 years old, bro.

Hannah,

my husband is 36 years old. Dead ass.

Tell me Vance would not do like in if

the circumstances were right. like I

you're like I take it. He would

and my husband who is fully 43 would

likely do the same. So yeah,

in my head Matt was still 40.

Yours keep moving though.

Yeah. I just feel like on Facebook I saw

that it was his 40th birthday and would

have bet that that was within the last

year and I'm realizing

no

I'm wrong and it was not within the last

year.

Last night I was asking him like you

know if you needed anything checking in

whatever and he was like I mean not

really

a surprise [ __ ] would be nice. And I

was like, "What level of surprise?"

Like,

like, "Do you want no warning? Do you

want a lot of warning?" Like, what?

Is it just like a I want to suck your

dick right now? Is like that what you're

looking

am I just like, am I taking the wheel

here? Cuz that's different energies. I'm

open to both, but like I need more

information. And he goes, I want to be

so surprised that I go

[Applause]

And I was like, "Okay,

I'm vastly overthinking how to achieve

that level of response."

Okay, I guess I have to jump out of a

closet or something.

uh pop out of a cake like a stripper.

I remember there was this dude that uh

I don't know. I think he was like a

detective for Nashville PD.

Uh I don't know. I knew him because I

worked crisis and we worked very closely

with law enforcement. He was law

enforcement, whatever that that was.

Sure.

But he was my age, my co-workers age.

him. Uh we were at a training and uh me,

it was me, a male coworker, and then

this dude who is law enforcement,

whatever that is.

Sure.

And they were talking about first dates

and like

what level of intimacy happens on a

first date and if a girl puts out or

things like that.

Sure. But he's like, listen, he's like,

I'll always pay the bill. Whatever you

want to give. Like a [ __ ] like never

expected.

Always appreciated.

Never expected.

Always appreciated.

And Vance will still say that to me now.

I like that.

Yeah. He's like never expected.

Always appreciated.

Yeah.

And I do feel like at any point in time

if you're just like want me to suck your

dick? That is the That's the level of

surprise right there.

Yeah,

you don't need to jump out of a closet.

I don't.

That's gift enough.

You're really right. I'm overthinking

it.

Or when we're done recording, we can go

see what mask options you can buy to

really commit to the bit and surprise

him.

Matt already has most multiple masks of

various horror characters. I can just

not the Jason mask cuz it's a hockey

mask so there's not a lot of room. Wh

see horror masks make some people's

dicks twitch and it makes other people's

dicks

invert.

And so that is where we shall leave

Hannah's husband's dick.

I don't know. Never expected. Always.

Always appreciated.

That's going to go on our merch.

I hope you jump out of a closet and

that's what he says.

That would be full circle, wouldn't it?

That really would be. Yeah. So, he

sneaks out from the swim up pool.

The next day is the wedding. The

weddings happen. and no one gives a

[ __ ] I don't even know if I know the

name of the bride. Like, I don't even

know if I know Natalie's cousin's name.

They probably mention it. It wasn't

really relevant cuz she didn't also

really like her cousin that much.

It seemed like this wedding was more of

an excuse for her to go on vacation.

Yeah. It was more of like a

my dad loves his brother and I love my

dad and so I'll show up to my cousin's

wedding.

That makes sense. Mhm.

But pretty much as soon as the reception

start, Luke is like, "Well, I think it's

time I go seek out Natalie."

He's like, "There are only so many other

places weddings can be happening on this

island."

Mhm.

Not island, it's Mexico

in this general vicinity.

This general resort.

Sure.

Yes.

It works well. He finds her. Uh

they bone on the beach. It's secluded

enough.

He did also steal his cousin's condom.

His cousin whose wedding night it was

who only brought one condom for the

wedding night. Wedding weekend. I had

extra.

To be honest, I feel like that's on the

cousin.

Why are you only bringing one?

Yeah. I'm like, but also if you know

your cousin only brought one and it's

his wedding night and you steal it from

him, that is pretty shitty. that if you

know it's his only one, that's pretty

shitty.

But also to your point,

it's your wedding night and it feels

like you could have prepped more going.

I feel bad for your new wife.

Do better.

Come on, man. Do better.

Yeah. Uh

yeah. Yeah. So they bone on the beach

and then like as they're walking back

his name is called and he's like, "Oh,

it's like people like from the So they

just kind of like part ways and

sure

and move on." And so the next morning

they fly home individually which like

starts a text montage.

Um there are a couple different text

montages that we'll have throughout

this. And so throughout this like you

can tell she's traveling for work. he's

also traveling for games

like they facetimed amidst the travel

and um he asks her about her travel

schedule for the week and she has a free

night. She has to be in California the

next day um but has a free night and he

has a game in Vegas. So she agrees to

have a layover in Vegas to go to his

game and see him. H yes. Uh, so that

said, he also like he does he still does

not know she's loaded,

right?

She's just they're just like living

their life, having this like flirty

banner. It's also one of those things

where like his mom has always been like,

"You got to look out for gold diggers."

Like you're like a professional athlete,

right?

And so

for some reason that comes up a couple

times in the book and then it's like,

"Yeah, and she's not one." So

that's convenient. Anyway, it's like

kind of how it read to me like a little

a little too passive. I was like, why

did we reference this? We could have

just

It seems unnecessary.

Yeah, at least was my interpretation.

Sure. Oh, it could it doesn't sound like

it's relevant to the plot.

Yes, exactly.

Um, so she just bought herself one

ticket cuz that's all she needed and it

is right next to the penalty box. Very

good seat.

Mhm. And um as anticipated as well as

I'm sure you can anticipate

what Luke gets in gets thrown into the

penalty box with Zach

who I believe was the if I'm remembering

correctly was the main dude in Sleet

Sugar.

Okay. Yes. Zach is with Izzy

Sugar. Uh

and her dad is the coach of the team.

Oh, okay. Yes.

So, Zach and Luke both get thrown into

the penalty box and then Luke sees that

she's sitting there and Zach is

immediately like trying to like elbow

him back like, "Who are you looking at?

What's happening?"

And Luke's going to play [ __ ] cool,

man. Shut the [ __ ] up. Yeah. Get back.

Get back. Uh, and he sees that she's

wearing a sleet jersey and he's like,

"Turn around." Like, so she turns around

and it's just a blank jersey.

Not Zack. Luke is like, "The fuck." Like

good for her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, and she's like in her inner

monologue, she's like, "Well, I wanted

to like get a jersey. I didn't think he

would want me to wear a friend's like

name, but I also

don't feel like we're at a point where

I'm like wearing his name on my back."

So,

very presumptive.

Yeah. She's like, "The blank jersey felt

like the safe appropriate move, which I

agree with."

I'm like, I I do feel like I would also

go blank jersey. Definitely. Yeah.

You met him last week, right,

in Mexico?

She seems to have a better understanding

of where they are in the process than he

does.

Yeah.

I Well, I also feel like she's a little

I'm like, you haven't told him that

you're like, there's some things that

you're not telling him.

She's hiding a lot of stuff.

Yeah. And he's like, I really like this

girl. Like, what's not to like? I'm just

going to like keep doing this until I

learn something that informs me

otherwise.

Right. Right.

Which I also appreciate that like

cuz you know some people go into

relationships looking for the excuse to

end it.

Right. Yes. Mhm. Mhm.

And it's was kind of refreshing to read

about like a someone who wasn't fighting

it along the way.

Yeah. but also isn't like overly golden

retrievery, if you will.

Um, so yes, he is unimpressed and like

in in his head he's like, "I will buy

her a new jersey immediately and that

one will go in the donation pile cuz who

needs that black jersey? That's not

doing anyone any favors." Which is very

sweet. And then he winks at her before

he goes back out on the ice and people

definitely see it. Like people behind

her are like,

"Do you know him?" Oh [ __ ] And she was

like, "Uh-huh." And one of the girls was

like, "Is he good?" sort of energy.

Yeah.

She was like, "Good." Oh, and I didn't

mention this when they had the beach

sex. But it was so good that once he

pulled out, he collapsed on the sand but

forgot that his dick was still out. And

then he's like, "Oh, no."

That's why I made the face I made when

you said they had sex on the beach. I

was like, "Yes."

Oh, hell no. Hell no.

No.

Hot in theory, less in practice.

And honestly, not even in theory because

in my head, all I think of is all of the

like we would go to the beach at night,

Clear Water Beach when I was like

growing up.

And there were some sand dunes. And it

wasn't uncommon that like people would

like

go hook up

go hook up in the dunes. But you know

who else went in the dunes? Everyone who

needed to pee.

Also correct. Yeah.

Oh, and definitely had some friends go

behind some dunes and find some people.

And I'm like, that is what I'm imagining

in my head. So, I'm glad no one

interrupted them, but I'm also like it's

hard for me to like imagine getting

there sexually in that situation.

Yeah,

cuz I

Things are going to be scratching that

shouldn't be scratching.

No, you can never get rid of all the

sand.

No.

Yeah, I think I still find some.

I haven't been to Florida since 2019.

Is that actually I think that is true. I

said that a little faciciously and then

I was like actually

yeah my bad should go see my family

soon.

Uh they finish the game, they win, they

go out afterwards and it's sweet because

they start out at the bar with all of

his friends and once again who all have

their own books of like they get to meet

her and they all have a fun time hanging

out together. And then Luke and Natalie

decide that they're going to go like

explore the strip and just like have

some time for them. They like get the

giant

drinks, you know, the ones and the, you

know, the specific cups that I'm

You'reing I'm mimming that no one else

can see me m

that are like symmetrical where they

have like the funnally top on the top

and funnally top on the bottom and long

and skinny in the middle.

Thank you. Yep. Thank you for describing

it perfectly. Yes. On the strip and at

like

amusement parks are the are the places,

right? So, they get their drinks and

they're just kind of walking and they

see this like kind of alley kind of just

sidewalk that like goes maybe like 20

yards back and that has a door at the

end that there's like a bouncer outside

of and the door has like a pink glow

around it. And so they start to walk up

and the bouncer's like, "Sorry, like

closed event." And then as they get

closer, the bouncer's like, "Holy [ __ ]

you're Luke Anders." And Luke's like,

"Yeah, man. Want my girl to take a

photo?" Like, and so they're just having

a great conversation and the bouncer's

like, "You you really here for this

party?" And he's like, "Yeah." And he's

like, "Okay." Like, "I can't let you

take the drinks in, but like doors

open." And sure. So they go in, they're

having a great time,

drinking, vibing. Uh the DJ is hyping

everyone up. Just a great dance party

all around. Like, but like the DJ's

hyping them. He's like, he's like, "Look

at your partner and tell him you love

him. Tell me your hoare is over. Like,

make out like you mean it. Like, and

everyone's just like, "Yeah, like having

this great time." They're like, "Okay,

we're going to go back to our hotel now

before this turns into an orgy." Like,

uh, yeah.

And as they get to the edge of the dance

floor, they're like people standing

there and they're like, "Okay, we need

you to sign like the like the waiver."

And they hand him hand like a party

favor bag.

So Luke takes the bag and she takes the

paper and they they go back to the hotel

and have great sex, you know. Sure.

At least I'm pretty sure that's why.

Less sand.

Yeah. Less less Sandy

and more condoms. I imagine

uh

he tells her like he doesn't want it all

to end. And she tells him, "I'm moving

to Minnesota next week." And so she does

tell him and he's very excited about

that. Yeah. But she just tells him that

her company's headquarters are moving

there.

Right. does not say

my dad just bought a pro sports team,

right? I mean, technically true, but not

the full picture.

Yeah. Which I mean, I guess it was

enough.

I mean, they've known each other a week.

I could see on her side like also being

cautious of

Yes.

people taking advantage of you have that

much money,

right? You got it.

Yeah. You have to be a little bit

guarded about who you let in and what

all you tell them.

She's like, "Oh, you're so cute. You

make what a professional athlete makes.

I'm in the 1% of the 1%. You're

adorable. Like, we are not the same.

Have you heard of Blue Origin?

Oh, no.

Why did you say Oh, no. They all lived.

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

I I don't think Katie Perry loved her

response,

but I loved when I got to tell you what

Kesha posted a picture of herself

because she and Katy Perry hate each

other.

Mhm.

She posted a picture of like cut cropped

her eyes out and it's just her drinking

out of a Wendy's cup and there's no

caption, there's no hashtag, there's no

nothing. She just posted it and I was

like, "Oh,

the petty." Oh [ __ ]

Yeah, cuz honestly that was my favorite

part was Wendy's.

Yes. Yes. Can we send her back? And

everybody was like, "A corporation

shouldn't be tweeting things like that."

It's like,

okay, well,

why?

Yeah,

just fire the Gen Z social media

coordinator. It's f like

Right. Right. the 22-year-old who just

graduated and got their first job in

social media marketing. Like,

okay. I'm like, I think the rest of us

think they're crushing it.

Well, apparently they got up there and

Katie Perry like unprompted just started

singing What a Wonderful World.

Like, nobody asked you for that, Katie.

I was watching Josh Johnson.

Me, too. Yes. When he was like, "Why?

Can't you just sing it like Louis

Armstrong?"

Well, also, he's like, "It was 11

minutes in total." So, you went about

like 5 minutes up there and over half of

that you're like, will you shut the [ __ ]

up? We're singing.

Wendy's does go hard on their socials

though.

Yeah, I do. I can appreciate it.

KFC, I don't know if KFC goes hard, but

what I appreciate is at least

historically on X when it was at least

called Twitter when I was on it. I don't

know. I don't know if this is still the

case, but

um KFC only followed 11 people total.

Six guys named Herb

and the five Spice Girls total. That was

all they follow.

That's very good.

I was like, I respect you guys a lot.

That's very good.

I was like, didn't see that one coming.

I like it a lot.

Well played, KFC. Well played. Which

also hot take. Some of my favorite fast

food fries are KFC.

I don't know that I can accurately

recall what a KFC fry tastes like. I

haven't been there in years.

It tastes delicious. That's all you need

to know.

Noted.

Yeah.

It's like less seasoning than like a

Checkers fry.

Sure.

But I don't think Chick-fil-A fries are

very good. I hate the waffle fries. Yes.

I was talking to somebody else this week

and I I was like I

like is it a safe enough space to

I don't mean to make a controversial

statement, but like I really don't like

Chick-fil-A's food. Like in general, I

don't think it's that good. I would

rather go to Popeye's. It's not any kind

of political statement at all. I just

really don't like their food.

And they were like, damn. I was like,

I'm sorry. It felt like we were having

this like intense heartto-he heart.

They're like, "Oh, wow. I've learned so

much about you." And you're like, "You

did?" Yeah.

Yeah. I've kept it in, you know.

I finally feel safe to come forward.

I hope this doesn't change how you see

me or how we interact in the future, but

yeah.

Doesn't change who I am as a person. It

just, you know, it's my truth and I

choose to live it.

We should do a fry off one day with just

like all of the different options. Yes,

Vance brought me home some Arby's curly

fries recently.

But I feel like the thing with the curly

fries is like some of them are like real

curly and some of them you're like

that's just kind of like a slightly

that's a normal fry that leans a little

to the left.

Yeah.

That we're calling

Yeah. Yeah.

a curly fry. And so I do think because

they're not consistent across the board,

it's hard

toudge to back the Arby's fry as much as

I used to. Unless I'm also getting a

Jamoka shake.

Ooh, only Jamoka, no other flavors. No,

I will not be taking questions.

I pass an Arby's on my way home. That

might happen.

I hope it does.

Yeah,

I want that for you.

I want that for Matt.

Thank you for that. Yes. Um, so they

start going at it in the elevator as

they are going up to her hotel room

and also like Luke is realizing like cuz

she she ended up booking her own room at

the hotel they were staying at just cuz

she was like I didn't want to like

be presumptive.

Yeah. But they like get up to the room

and he's like where's the where's the

bed? And she's like in the other room.

Like

it's like a full assuite.

Yeah. He's like this suite is insane.

He's like she clearly has money. Like

he's like she clearly is doing well for

herself

with whatever that is

unless she's making very poor decisions

with a credit card. Like

Yeah.

Yeah. And he's like and she's not giving

that energy.

Mhm.

But like I think the thing for me is I'm

like you didn't ask the questions,

right?

We could have had the answer. We could

have had the conversations around this.

Um so they have the the great hotel sex

and then the next morning her alarm goes

off and she's like, "Shit, got to get to

the airport. Got that flight. That's

real early. She takes all of her stuff

into the bathroom to get ready. And as

she's like refolding her jeans, she like

hears a crinkle, pulls out the paper,

opens it, and it's a marriage

certificate. So like the people standing

on the edge, she's like, "Oh, we signed

it, then they signed it. They were the

witnesses."

And the DJ was an officient.

Yep. Look at your partner. Tell them you

love them. Tell them your hoe era is

over.

like what vows%

yes but like the whole time you were

reading it and I tried to set it up

accordingly but like as you're reading

it you're like is this going where I

think it's going is this what's about to

happen because as they're like signing

the paper Luke is like oh yeah like I go

to parties as a professional athlete

yeah NDAs are super common like the

photo

release that's kind of what it seemed

like Yes. And so just like they signed

it without like looking at it just so

that they could move on cuz they were

they were so horny they ended up married

is really kind of what happened if you

think about it.

I almost just said a real bad thing.

Go on. You should say it anyway. I

was going to say I knew a lot of of

people from youth group who did the

same. So

I'm so sorry.

Oh no.

And most of the people who got married

for that reason realized that it takes

more than that alone to have a healthy

relationship.

Yeah.

And some of them figured it out and some

of them

did not

figured it out with the next person.

Yeah. They learned lessons and they

moved on.

Yeah. I'm like the hormonal

Mhm.

shift of being like, "Hey, I know she

was the first person besides yourself to

touch your dick."

Mhm.

Doesn't mean that that's a great life

partner.

Yep.

Mhm.

A lot goes into a marriage. Like so much

goes into a marriage. Like

when I feel like a lot of those like

couples you're like oh you like you got

married so young you you kind of did

figure it out together

cuz you you grew up together.

Exactly. And sometimes you grow up

together and sometimes you grow

Yeah.

up together apart like you know

1,000%.

It feels very hit or miss like I

Yeah.

cuz you you see those couples now where

you're like, "Yeah, I I see where you

guys made sense and I see where you

still made sense." And then you look at

the couples that you're like, "You got

married before your brain was

developed."

Yeah.

And like didn't understand everything

that that entailed,

right?

And let no one vilify you for the fact

that like

you had to learn some lessons along the

way.

Of course not. Yeah. cuz I'm like I

don't know. I think people can be like

so cruel and unforgiving in those

situations and it's just like man

context matters.

It does.

Yeah.

And sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's

still just okay.

Whatever. Also true.

Yes. So Natalie finds the marriage

certificate and is like the [ __ ] And is

like Luke wake up. And he's like well

like if you want to go again before the

airport. She's like I don't. This is

serious.

She's like, "My pants are on and yours

should be too." Very serious.

Yes. And he's not that upset about it.

And he's just like, "Well, didn't see

this coming, but enjoying it. Enjoying

getting to know her so far." Is kind of

his like

That seems like the energy of this guy

the whole time. Her dad shows up and he

has to swim out of her room. He's like,

"Cool."

He's like classic Natalie,

right? Like

cuz you've known her for 24 hours and

you're like that's just Nat

known each other for a week and we're

married. I mean she seems pretty chill.

So

Well, cuz the bag that he grabbed had

two like hot pink silicone wedding

rings.

Very good.

In it. Yes. So they're like, "Well,

we'll sort this out, but we have flights

to catch." Sort of like got to keep

living. Fly safe, honey.

Yep. And so

spouse of mine.

Oh, spouse of mine.

So then there's another like cute text

montage of before she's moved to

Minneapolis. Uh but they're like

preparing for she's like, "Hey, I'm like

I've talked to my lawyer. I'm like

getting like the papers written up so

that way we can just like

enol it, call it call it good."

Exactly. And we can just move on and

like we'll we'll keep dating. But like

Mhm. that this can be a very simple

silent resolution to this situation.

There doesn't need to be any press. We

don't need to make it weird.

Yes. So, it's I guess it's probably been

a week, however long it was until she

like officially moved to Minneapolis.

And so, Luke is going to her office to

meet her to sign these divorce papers.

But he like

checks the address when he gets there

and he's like,

"Byer headquarters. Why is Natalie here?

like what am I? Huh? This feels weird.

Like what am I missing? Why is she here?

And so he walks in to to go meet her.

And but as he's walking in and getting

in the elevator, his phone starts

blowing up. Cut to Natalie.

Uh-oh.

Yeah. So cut to Natalie. She's nervous

because she knows that Luke is about to

arrive. She hasn't seen him since Vegas.

Right. Before Luke can get there, her

dad charges in because someone from the

hotel released the video footage of them

in the elevator.

Oh no.

And so Natalie is also supposed to take

over as CEO for

sure

this for her dad's company, but has to

like prove her leadership at like and

the board is already crying nepotism. So

she has to really like stay in line. And

so her dad's like, "I can't believe that

like you would just like

be so foolish,

jeopardize your future."

Yes. To get like just making out with

like a pro alet like the the hell are

you doing sort of energy.

And dad is big mad about all of this.

And

she doesn't want to screw over her

promotion. And so she's like, "It wasn't

a random hookup.

It was a

he's my husband. It was a couple on

their wedding night. Yep. Is that really

better?

Yes. I impulsively married somebody in

Vegas. It's not that I hooked up with

someone. I impulsively married them in

Vegas.

No. Well, if we we're not mentioning the

We didn't impulsively marriage him.

Is that like being what was it we said?

Tangential.

Tangential.

She didn't impulsively marry him cuz she

didn't know she was marrying him. So, it

wasn't an impulse decision. We're not

mentioning any of that. We're just

saying this wasn't a random hookup.

My husband,

this was a couple having an intimate

moment on their wedding night as

newlyweds.

Get at me. Like, what are you going to

do? Right. Have a freak out because I'm

your father and I didn't know you were

dating anyone, much less marry them.

Yeah, that is like for how close her and

her dad are. I'm like, "Huh?" So, at

this point, Luke has like arrived as

she's kind of like saying like that last

section to her dad of like this was like

a couple on their wedding night. And

like her dad like sees like Luke kind of

sitting there and he's like, "So, you're

the guy who married my daughter?" And

he's like, "Yes, sir." Like is kind of,

"Uh-huh, sure am."

Yep. And so dad storms off and like

tells Natalie he's like disappointed in

her in her choices which like is

shitty and him lashing out.

Well, it also feels a little bit like I

mean if she were a dude

like I doubt it would have been a

question or an issue.

To his credit later in the book

Mhm.

they do clear the air and he's like I

didn't respond well to that. And he's

like and quite frankly you're 32. the

fact that it took this long for you to

end up

in any tabloids or pop like with any pop

photos like

Mhm.

Yeah. Like I

Right.

I'm I didn't respond well, which I did

appreciate that followup.

And so her dad storms out and then

there's just kind of this like awkward

silence between Natalie and Luke because

he's like,

"You just introduced me as your

husband."

Yeah. So

thought I was here to get a divorce.

Like was wearing my ring, but like guess

I'm going to leave wearing my ring as

well. Like the [ __ ] And so she's like,

"I'm sorry. I like can't let him cut me

out of the business." And he's like,

"So this is a financial decision." And

she's like, "No, no, no." And she's

like, "But like if like the board like

got wind and he's like, "So this is a

political decision." like

right I'm being used now kind of

deal

and like and he even is straight up like

why should I go along with this

right what's the benefit to me here

exactly

and she's like well that like the sleet

wouldn't like it either like

think of your sponsors think of the team

like

this paints both of us in a negative

light and just kind of like

we're both high-profile whether we

but that or kind of blackmails them and

like strong arms them and it's like

it'll like [ __ ] up

the end of your career as if

is this how you want to go out?

Yes. And like

like it's not that like explicitly

stated, but like very much like that is

like the energy and he's like well

like tosses Yeah. like tosses the ring

pouch on the desk to her and he's like

I guess I'll keep wearing this like [ __ ]

you very much. I don't think he actually

says that but just like

Yeah. Yeah. takes off.

It's like no longer thinks she's chill.

Yes. And so he's big mad and she's like,

I understand why he's mad. Like I like

this is a shitty situation. I wish we

could have talked it out a little bit

more than like how it just played out,

but like she's like, well,

got to call my PR team and ask them to

like release a statement and like this,

that, and the other. And like so she's

just still kind of handling it amidst

all of this

and is like I'm going to give him a day

to be mad and then I'm going to reach

out and like try and follow up.

So then switch to Luke. Luke's mom calls

him and is like

your aunt called me because she saw it

on ESPN. It's like the hockey player in

the AIS and like what like I didn't know

you like you had sex with the sleep

[ __ ]

Jesus, mom.

Oh, yeah.

Like, okay.

And he's like, "We don't." He's like,

"That Sleeput is the name of one fan

group. We don't call them that.

That's not what we call our puck

bunnies, Mom."

Well, and she's like, "So, what would

you call her?" And he's like, "My wife."

My wife

is mic drop, Mom. Yep. You get it.

So, the next text montage, but this text

montage is all

Natalie texting Luke and him not

responding. And like a couple days are

going by and like there's like hey like

can you call please call me back and

then there's like a you'll talk about

our marriage in a postgame interview but

you won't respond to like my messages.

And like after a week she just sends a

message and is like

you know where to find me. Like I'm I'm

not reaching out anymore. You're

traveling. I'm traveling. Like

hit me up when you're in town, I guess.

Yeah. Whenever

whenever you want to talk and be an

adult, you know where to find me. But

like I've reached out several times with

such a weird shift for him because he

was absolute desperate Dan at the

beginning. He was like, I'm I'm

following her around. Like I'm finding

her. I'm looking for her. Showing up for

her, inviting her to my game. I'm doing

this. I'm doing that. And then now he's

like, I hate her. Like you knew her for

a week, bro.

Well, and to his credit, now that he's

calm down, it switches back to his point

of view and he's like,

now that I'm not really heated about

this, like

I get where she was coming from. That

was the best way forward. and he's like,

I I need to reach out, but we have some

like away games coming up and I like

want to like

be here,

be here, be set, be be ready for it. And

so he's still dragging his feet. And I

think that honestly frustrated me

because I'm like, just reach out, bro.

Just you can just text her and be like,

"Hey, traveling. want to talk when like

you could have said anything at any

point in time but like

Natalie's dad invite like extends an

Oliver and she's like hey Natalie like I

know like we have like a biters game

this weekend like and you should like

invite Luke and she's like oh yeah

and then she doesn't because she's like

why am I going to reach out to him but

then like Luke sees the photo of Natalie

and her dad in the owner's box and is

like [ __ ] like

what did she tell her dad like

how did she explain why I wasn't wasn't

there. Like, that's shitty. Like, I

should have been there.

And he's like, "All right,

we have like I think it's Monday cuz

he's like, "We have an away game

tomorrow on Tuesday." He's like, "Our

our next home game is Thursday. I'll be

back. Going to like settle all of this

then."

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

So,

it's now the home game.

Okay.

Natalie is at the sleet game because her

dad owns a team and they were invited by

the owner of the hockey team of the

sleet. So they're in the owner's box and

she's like my husband doesn't even know

I'm here like

I am wearing a jersey with his name on

it at least like trying to play the part

but like

I did receive the feedback provided.

Yes. And she's like well I'm here. I'm

like, "Okay, yeah, this is great."

Oh, we have plans for after the game to

meet at home.

Yep.

Like,

so the owner, however, I'm going to have

another sip of wine.

Go for that.

I'm going to have two more sips of wine.

Have as many sips as you need. But that

makes me concerned about what you're

about to tell me. Makes me think I

should buckle up in some way.

Do you have more wine?

I do. Oh, should I should I hit that?

Okay,

don't be nervous. This is an excited

sip. So, and Natalie is like trying to

be chill. And the owner being very

gracious is like, "Oh my gosh, of like

you probably want to go down and say hi

to him before the game. Like, I'm so

sorry. It like didn't even occur to me.

Like, here, like, let me have someone

take you down." And she's like, "Fuck,

yes, this is absolutely what I wanted to

do." So,

so they ride down the elevator and when

they like when the elevator opens, she

just looks at the attendant and is like,

"I know my way." And she's like, "I feel

like a [ __ ] but like I can't have

anyone with me cuz I

I can't have any witnesses."

She's like, "Okay, my plan is to hide

for a couple of minutes and then come

back,

then go back upstairs, say I saw him,

and move on with my day." Okay. So, she

like makes a turn down a hall and then

like hears all of the hockey players and

she's like, "Fuck." So, she like tries

to back up, backs up, collides with

someone, they both hit the ground. She

has collided with the mascot.

What is the mascot for this?

Blizz.

Is that like what's his name for the the

Philadelphia team?

Sure.

Don't worry about Yeah. Could not.

I can see him.

because he's so distinct. He's like a

giant muppet.

Yes. I kind of pictured it as a white

version of that. Like Blizz like

Blizzard was how I

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sleet. I don't know. They're all kind of

snowy, right?

Yeah. I really That's going to Is it Oh,

I'm going to have to look it up

later. That's bothering me a lot.

Um, so when Blizz went down, Blizz hit

the ground harder than she did. So she

got back up. Blizz did not. Blizz. Bliss

sprained his ankle.

But Blizz is also like, "This is my

second game and I can't get fired.

Please tell me she doesn't put on."

And she's like, he's like, "I'm going to

need He's like, "You are Blizz tonight."

And she's like, "Fuck." Cuz she's like,

"How do I make this right?" She's like,

"Do I go up to the owner's box again and

like explain to the owner what happened?

I just accidentally tripped over each

other cuz I got turned around." And

so she's like, "Fuck it." Okay. She's

like And she's like, he's like, "Do you

know how to skate?" She's like, "Not

well." And he's like, "But you'll you

can stand on two feet." And she's like,

"Uh-huh."

So he's like, "All right." He's like,

"They're about to call you out. She

can't even get the costume up over her

jeans." So she has to like go down to

her bra and underwear to get this mascot

costume on. And she

How tight is this costume?

Aren't they usually pretty baggy? It

doesn't matter. I'm sorry. I'm getting

caught on the wrong things again.

You know, I think it depends on the on

the costume.

Like, is it a bodysuit? Once again, from

community, the human being. Yeah.

Like that situation. Cuz now that's what

I'm imagining. You said like a white

human being. And when they made the butt

flag.

Yes.

A plurabus anus.

That's a different book. So,

so she's in the costume in her

underwear.

She's in the costume. She's in her

underwear at this point and she skates

out is not doing great. Like skates out

is like supposed to be waving the flag

overhead. It's like like it switches to

Luke's perspective and he's like, "Yeah,

like Blizz like came out a couple beats

late."

Blizz is kind of holding the flag like a

like a jousting stick like

like locked in the armpit. Interesting.

Blizz falls

and Luke is like Blizz's ass looks

really nice tonight. And he's like, "Oh

my god, I didn't just think that about

Blizz. Like, get your [ __ ] together."

And he's like, "What a weird thought.

Move on with your day." And it just like

doesn't get better. It goes back and

forth between their perspectives. Like

she at one point is like, "Okay, well if

I hold the flag higher, then I can't

trip over it, but then lifts it too high

so it like gets caught on the net above

the glass." And so like she goes down

again and each time like

like Luke is like, "What is like is he

drunk?" Like yes. And he's like alo like

that ass is really filling out that

suit. Like what is happening? That's

what it has to be some kind of weird

tight situation for him to notice the

shape of her ass.

Truly. Well, then like between periods,

Blizz has to go back out.

No, but she's wearing sneakers that

time, but it's like a t-shirt cannon

situation. like she slips again and like

to the point that like Luke is like

watching it on the television between

periods and like almost says like

have you guys noticed like Blit like

should we go check on Bliss?

But then it's also kind of like I don't

want to be Has anyone else noticed that

like Blizz is really filling out that

suit cuz like that's a weird sentence.

Well, and I have to imagine in the

owner's box they're like what is she did

she die? Like what is she doing down

there?

like just assuming she's watching the

game from a lower like something, right?

Yeah. So, this continues the whole game.

Every time Blizz like she is Blizz the

entire game,

but you know what? Good for her.

Yes, she committed. She's like, I want

to cry. I kept falling.

She said literally zero good options.

Like, do I just leave this poor schmuck

that I just shoved to the ground or like

I'm not going to be the reason he gets

fired,

right?

I'll figure it out.

And so she's like, "All right, I have

all of my clothes. The game is over. I

pose for all of the [ __ ] pictures as

the freaking mascot." She's like, "I

just need to find a room that has a lock

on it so I can like change back into my

clothes and be done with this

nightmare."

manages to collide in the hall with Luke

this time, of course. Right.

So,

he sees Blizz again. He's like, "Oh,

Blizz isn't steady on their feet."

Goes down, but the head pops off and

he's like, "Natalie." Like, "Holy shit."

Okay, that's pretty good, though. That's

pretty good.

Well, and like as soon as they make eye

contact, she starts crying. Oh.

And he's like, "Are you okay?" And she's

like, "I fell down a lot."

And she's like, "Yeah, you did." And

it's like trying not to like laugh. And

he's like, "Oh, sweetie, baby. Honey,

she's so stressed."

It's like when your toddler gets

stressed and you're like, "Oh,

sweetheart, you're making ridiculous

sounds." He's like, "I saw." Yeah.

Okay. So, not quite the same.

As you know, I used to work in youth

ministry years ago.

I do know that.

Um I the weekend I moved to Texas and

went on staff at this church. They had a

volunteer summit and they wanted like

the most recent volunteer and it didn't

dawn on me like I'm a new intern like I

probably shouldn't raise my hand. I'm

not a volunteer but I raised my hand. I

was like it's my first day and they're

like what? Like they're like we thought

you were a plant sort of energy. Like it

was that like welltimed. So I go up and

I'm doing the game and well no before

the game this is [ __ ] So they're like

what's your name? And I was like

Chelsea.

Then whatever next the next question

they asked I answered and they go tell

us something about yourself. And I

completely blanked. In a room of 400

volunteers at a church that I was going

on staff at of people I'd never met

before. They asked me to tell a fact

about myself and I just went, "I really

like cats."

I mean, that's true.

And the woman running it just went, "And

she's single, ladies and gentlemen, and

just moved." Yes. So,

what a burn. That's very good.

Oh, yeah. She's a badass. I still adore

her to this day. So, like a couple weeks

later, I'm meeting one of the random

pastors on St. Like this. Everyone knows

who I am.

I don't know any of these fools. So, I'm

like, "Oh, hey, I'm Chelsea. I'm like

the new like youth intern." And he goes,

"I know. I was at the summit." Like the

way he said it was this like

condolences.

The way in which Luke said to Natalie,

"I saw." Yeah. Like,

yeah. like

there's something about when the A is

emphasized on Yeah. that's like oh no.

Yeah.

You're not wrong. So

they he apologizes and he's like I'm so

sorry. He's like I wanted to reach out.

He's like I got her in my head. I didn't

know if I should text. I didn't know if

I should call. I just like I'm so sorry.

Like we I for everything. We need to

clear the air further than this. He's

like you were right.

I want to I want to talk. I want to

listen. Like, let's have this

conversation.

She says she missed him. It all

escalates very quickly and they start

making out. It's a very easy

reconciliation. But I will say,

while she's in the Blizz costume because

that's very good.

Oh, it gets better.

Oh,

I do appreciate that like while it

escalates, they are both like and we

know we'll have to have a conversation

after this, right?

So, they start making out. He like

pushes her back into the locker room so

that way they have some privacy and is

like at like his locker cubby. And so

he's like, "Turn around, bend out, like

let's like get you out of this Blizz

costume because I need to [ __ ] you

immediately."

So they like, "Get part of the Blizz

costume off." Um, but the like the

section around the neck, they can't get

undone and like they're just like, "It

won't release. We can't figure it out.

They're too desperate to bone at this

point. So she like she's like begging

him to bone her. So he just grabs either

side of the crotch seams and pulls. So

just like has torn a hole in the crotch

of the Blizz mascot costume.

She bends over. They start going at it.

They just start [ __ ]

And then suddenly they hear, "What the

fuck?" I was going to say they didn't

lock the door. They didn't lock the

door. They didn't lock the door. This is

a public space. And the poor mascot who

has to wear this next time.

They're not returning it after this.

Get it dry cleananed. Like what do you

do? Get it dry cleananed and pit a note

to it that says

they purchased a new one.

Thank you for an incredible night. Like

what?

Thank you for an incredible night.

So the what the [ __ ] is Luke's best

friend Jackson

Jesus what

who the first book sleep kitten is about

him and Ken

that could be worse

that could be worse than his best friend

but Jackson is like I'm not friends with

cheaters pull out a blizz right now pull

out I'm not friends with cheaters

And L is like, I'm not going to do that.

And Natalie just kind of squeaks like,

"It's me."

And Jackson is like, "Oh my god." And

looks like, "Yeah, get the [ __ ] out,

man."

So, first of all, Jackson is a real one.

Yes. way to stand up for a girl you

don't really know. That is

that you hung out at a bar once.

Yeah, that's so lovely to be like, I

know you have a wife. Unacceptable.

Pull out a blizz right now.

Your wife could be [ __ ] Satan.

Haven't met her enough to know. But I do

know you have one.

Yeah. And morally, this is I don't I

don't [ __ ] with people who do this.

Yeah.

So Jackson leaves,

they finish, and then Jackson's like,

"Can I come back?"

Yeah. And Luke's like, "Why were you

standing outside the door?" Like,

"Fucking leave, man." And Jackson's

like, "Maybe you should thank me for

telling the cleaning crew to return in

15 minutes."

It looks like touche.

You a real one?

May have rolled up with not quite the

attitude here.

It's been a weird day. I didn't read the

room.

Well, and so when they go to leave, they

see Jackson talking to someone and it's

his wife Caitlyn in her cart because she

had to drop off the keys cuz Jackson

couldn't get his keys cuz they were in

his locker.

But Jackson's like, "Hey, Caitlyn wanted

me to invite Natalie to girls brunch on

Sunday at the house." Which was so

sweet. And Luke is immediately like,

"Yep, she'll be there." And Natalie's

like, "The the I don't know these girls.

Do not sign me up for social engagements

for people I do not know."

Um Luke ends up driving her back to her

hotel. It's a perfectly fine hotel. I'm

imagining it as like a courtyard

Marriott. I don't know, something of

that capacity

because it sounds like it's like a fine

enough hotel, but there's like it's like

getting later in the evening and there's

no one at the front desk and the doors

open automatically and he's like there's

no like people there's no security and

you're like

Yeah. And she's fine.

Yeah.

Like it was but like Luke is having his

caveman moment, right? where he's like,

"I can't let my wife stay here

unprotected."

Unprotected. What do people think is

happening? That's half the time I'm

reading these books. Like, what do you

think is happening? Most people move

through the world fairly safely on a

day-to-day basis. Like, there's not a

cabal of bad guys out there plotting

against innocent women. And she stayed

there for two weeks while you literally

didn't talk to her,

right? You ignored her and she did fine.

Yes.

So,

but Luke now that he's all in. He is all

in. Right.

So, he is very like they like get to the

room and he's like, "Grab your bags,

pack your stuff. You're not staying

here. We're not doing this. You need to

stay with me where it's secure." And I

do appreciate that Natalie's like, "Hold

up.

you didn't talk to me for two weeks

and I reached out repeatedly like you

made a conscious choice. You don't just

get to like make this one now,

right?

And that like takes the wind out of

Luke's sales a little bit. And they they

clear the air and he's like, "I felt

used." And like my ego was hurt

and like when I come like I realize like

that's what it was, but like my my ego

was hurt and I didn't respond well. And

she's like, "Well, I also want to

apologize because I wasn't trying to

like guilt you or like blackmail you

right

into a marriage even though that is what

I I did. I didn't intend to be coercive,

but

I could see how it was received as

coercive.

Exactly. Is kind of that response. And

so they're like, "Okay, well,

we still like each other. We still are

curious about seeing where this will go.

So like, let's date." Yeah. Let's just

like we'll stay married because that's

easier for everyone else. Like, we'll

just keep dating.

It'll be fine. if at some point in the

future we we break up, we'll just sign

the divorce papers when we break up and

kind of do it all then. That's kind of

the

the thought. And she's like, "When we

break up?" I'm like, "No, that's not how

the full sentence read, but like way to

latch on to the part that made you feel

the most insecure, as we all tend to

do." Yep. Mhm. Mhm.

Oh, yeah. Van said something to me last

week. I don't even remember what it was,

but he's like, "I don't want you to

internalize this or read into it or like

feel any type of way about it." And then

whatever he said, I just like started

crying. And he's like, "But I literally

told you I didn't want you to feel it. I

warned you not to do this." Which I know

is not what he meant, but that's very

good.

Yeah. I was like, "I know. I know. This

is just on me and it's not on you."

That's you know those moments.

I was at lunch. Obviously not the same.

Um, but I was at lunch with a bunch of

people. I think we were getting Mexican

and most of us ordered like true hot

food and somebody had ordered a taco

salad

and all of our food came out and then

like a full 5 minutes which is a long

time

for a salad.

Yeah. Later her food still was not there

and one of the other people went she was

like why is my food last? I feel like my

food is always last. And one of the

other therapists at the table went, "You

should really internalize that."

So now we just say that to each other.

That's a good line.

Yeah. Anytime anybody says anything,

we're just like, "You should really

internalize that." Yeah.

It's very good.

I feel like between that and never

expected, always appreciated, we cover a

lot of bases.

We really do.

Yes. So, they go back to Luke's place.

His condo is lovely. She like walks in

and she's like, "This is what I would

pick for myself. Like, this is like a

stunning space.

Very excited to to be here and kind of

see where where things, but also like

she fell so much as

I was going to say, is she hurt?"

Because I imagine she's bruised up

a little bit. It's actually

an Epsom salt bath.

Yeah, it's really sweet. He like makes

sure she's like taken care of and he

like gets out a salve that he's like

rubbing on like her elbows and he's like

rubbing it into her feet

when and she like falls asleep with him

like taking care of her after she fell

on this the ice.

I fell so much.

I saw Yeah, you did.

So fast forward, it's now a couple days

later. So, it's time for Sunday brunch.

And she's very nervous because she's

like, "I don't have a lot of

girlfriend." She's like, "I'm really

close with my dad." And then she's also

like, "Luke, like you're probably the

person I'm next closest to." And then

Luke also like has a moment where he

feels like a dick because he's like,

"We're also friends." And I just like

ghosted my friend for several weeks,

right?

When she was going through something.

Yeah. like she was going through

something was move like had a lot going

on and like feels that guilt and that

weight of like I mishandled this

which I did respect that like

he owned um and so he's telling her he's

like it's fine like you'll go you'll

have like you'll make friends

I promise they're nice like it's going

to be okay

very much so um bless it so it is it's

going super well at at the brunch. All

of the other girls, well, three of them

have books as we kind of named earlier.

And then Kaitlyn, who's married to

Jackson. Jackson has a sister named

Steph.

Steph is also there and is a side

character in all of this, but does not

have her own book, at least in the

series. Maybe she has another one. I

don't know. I haven't delved into it

that deeply, but they're all having a

great time. Izzy, who like her dad is

the coach, who's she's so sweet, and

she's like, "Well, like I like want to

make uh Natalie feel like comfortable."

And so I got her a welcome gift. And so

they're all sitting there hanging out

and like drinking their mimosas. And

Izzy's like, "So I got you a little like

Blizzed animal."

And Natalie turns like beat red. Caitlyn

starts dying laughing.

And Natalie's like, "Oh fuck." Like, did

you tell her? Like, how did this like

what's h

am I being hazed? Like, is that why they

invited me here? Oh, poor thing.

And so, like, then Izzy like realizes

like how Caitlyn's she's like, "What?"

And then Megan, who is Banshee. So,

Caitlyn is kitten.

Okay.

Izzy is Sugar.

Okay.

Megan is Banshee.

Okay.

And she does. Yeah.

Okay. Um, she is fun and she does

screech.

Uh, but they're so they're all there and

then Izzy's like, "So, what am I missing

here with the way Caitlyn's responding?"

And so she tells the girls everything.

Natalie does.

Yes.

Oh, honey.

Like, and she's like, you know,

[ __ ] it.

Yeah. She's like, if I'm going to make

friends, like,

let's be friends.

Yep. I'm I'mma tell you. I'm going to

tell you exactly what happened. Let's

see if you really meant it when you said

you wanted to be my friend. Well, and

then I forget who, but one of them was

like, "Wait, so did you just put the

suit on for sex?" Cuz they're all

laughing at like the Jackson being like,

"Pull out."

Which is very

I'm not friends with cheaters.

Oh my gosh. Um,

but yeah, so one of the girls is like,

"Wait, so did you just put the costume

on for sex?" And then Natalie's like,

"No, I was Bliss the whole night." But

then all of them were at the game,

right? Cuz all of their husbands were

playing. So they're like,

"They were in the wag box." Yeah.

Girlfriends,

"Holy [ __ ] you fell so much." We all

saw like it clicks for them. They're

like, "We were wondering why Blizz was

suddenly so unfortunate." this bruise is

from and she just imagining her like

so Steph uh when brunch is wrapping up.

It seems as though she is has someone

that she's secretly dating,

Natalie saw her get dropped off by

someone but like didn't know that she

was kind of maybe like telling something

she shouldn't. So they're like, "Wait,

is like Steph seeing someone? Is she

not?" So when Steph goes to leave, they

all sneak out to like follow her. And

Natalie's like, "Girl gang, I guess this

is what we're It's like she's got all of

her stuff." Yeah. She's like, "I guess

this is what we're doing."

Carrying her Bliss stuffy.

Yes. Well, and it's like so when they

sneak and like follow Steph. Steph is

getting into Alex's car. Alex is

Caitlyn's brother.

Okay. But also Izzy's dad, the coach, is

now dating Caitlyn's mom.

Okay.

Who's Jackson's mother? Like just all of

the Sure. Sure. Sure. the different

connections. So they're like, "The

fuck?" Like they all sneak out and have

this just like cute girl gang moment and

then all of the guys are coming back

around the same time and all kind of see

it happen.

I'm just imagining that she's like, "I

don't know what any of this means, but

everybody's real excited about it."

Yep. That would be like,

"I'm just happy to be here. I guess

we're doing this."

Yeah. I like it. Well, and so she's

standing outside with like her bag and

her new

Blizz stuffy and such. And so Luke sees

the stuffed animal and immediately gets

mad at Jackson and turns and is like, "I

can't believe you told Zach."

Oh no.

Oh no. Yes. In front of all of them. And

Zach is like, "Told me what?"

And like then the girls are all kind of

laughing

and Izzy's like, "I didn't I don't

know." And then like Megan is whispering

into her husband's ear cuz she's like,

"Sorry, we don't keep secrets. Going to

go ahead." So then Zach's like the only

that is banshee energy.

Yes. Well, and so Luke in front of all

of them like looks at Jackson and he's

like, "If you want to harass me over the

Blizzang, harass me, but like leave my

girl out of it." And then Zach's like,

"The the Blizzbang? The [ __ ] are you

talking?

You had sex with the new mascot guy?"

Yeah. And Natalie's going to be like,

"Oh my god, shut up. It's not what like

whatever you were thinking. Shut your

[ __ ] mouth, dude.

Was it's probably my favorite part of

this whole book is that whole section.

That is excellent.

Yes. So, there's another text montage.

They're both on the road like she with

between her travel for work and his

travel for away games. Like,

there are texts where he's like, "We're

missing each other by 6 hours." And

she's like, "I know it sucks." And is

really lame. Uh, but I guess they have

there's a fundraising event. Uh, so

whenever their schedules align for them

both to be back in town, there's a

fundraising event that he's going to go

and like support her at. That's more for

like her world than his.

Mhm. Um,

I read too far in my notes and was like,

he fingered her when? And I was like,

oh, that's going to happen. Yeah.

It's good to know there's something to

look forward to.

They attend. They have a good time.

There's references to other couples in a

way that like I'm like this couple might

have another book. Might have a book. I

didn't read into it.

There's probably another series that's

like connected to this one or whatever.

Exactly. Well, cuz it's like the couple

that like at their table at the

fundraising event like owns the hotel

chain of like who where they were

staying in Vegas when the footage got

released. So they're like, "Just let you

know, we like fired the person who

released that footage of you." And

they're like, "Okay, thanks." Like,

yeah,

you a real one. We We made it out. Okay.

Yeah.

Um, and within that I' I' like I know we

always talk about like a solidifying

[ __ ] in a book. I feel like it was more

like a solidifying like relationship

moment of them like, "Oh, like we're

showing up for each other. This is how

we engage." like realizing where their

worlds overlap and like, "Oh, you know

that person? They're here." Huh. And

that's more how I like felt reading it

in this moment was them just kind of

realizing

where their worlds over overlapped.

Sure.

Um on the drive back to his place,

that's when he fingers her. Something to

look forward to, you know. Um but also

worth noting, they're not in a limo.

There's no like divider between them and

the driver.

They're just like in an Uber.

They're in the back of like whatever.

Yeah. The town car that she has a driver

for. And he did lay like he opened the

door and like helped her get into the

car, then laid his jacket over her lap

in case she got cold and like fingers

her under the jacket.

Okay.

You know, bold move, my dude. Sure. If

that's what works for y'all, that's what

works for y'all. Newlyweds, I guess. But

like, okay. Yeah. I'm like I'm I'm like,

"Oh, that is that feels very high school

to me." But like, that's cool. Yeah. I'm

like, "She's 32. You're 36."

Huh. But, I mean, if everybody was into

it.

Yeah. If everyone's into it, the driver

might have been into it, too. No one

asked him. At least, not that I know.

We're not here to judge.

Exactly. Um, so

it's going well between them. He fingers

her in the car. They have great sex when

they get home. As things kind of

continue moving forward, he still has

some away games. She's getting nervous

that she's like, maybe not nervous, but

she's like, I'm like starting to like

really like feel strongly for him.

He hasn't invited me to any away games.

Does he want me to show up? Does he

care? Am I

Where are we at? Is kind of where she's

at. She's like she's starting to feel

more invested and is like I don't

he is my husband but like he's not my

husband.

Yeah. It's a very weird place to be very

thousand%

limbo.

Yes.

Sort of situation.

Um and then Luke is also like okay he's

like I'm absolutely falling for my wife.

I think she's like the best thing ever

and like I need to like tell her and

like have like a bigger conversation

about it soon. He's not great about

having conversations in a timely manner

when he thinks he should have them. I'm

not getting a sense of urgency from Luke

cuz I don't think he realizes that like

there should be urgency there, right?

Cuz I think he's just like, "Yeah, it's

just like we're Christmas.

We're vibing. It's how it's playing

out." So, he ends up planning a super

cute date for when he gets back in town

again and teaches her to actually skate

and teaches her to stop and everything

she needs to know to

be more successful. Should she

fall down less,

you know, should she ever end up in a

situation where she sprains Blizz's

ankle again, she'll be better prepared

for for what will happen.

Um, so things are continuing to like

just go very very well between them with

that. It's a very cute date. She's very

excited when she's like successful at

skating and is feeling a little bit more

confident. And when they get back to his

place that night, he goes to shower and

she's sitting on the couch and she's

like, I she's like, I really like am

starting to have some strong feelings

for him. And like I feel guilty about

strongarmming him and like I know like

we've progressed, but I don't know where

he is. And like I like

want to do something sweet and special.

And she's like, "Oh, I know." She's

like, "I'm going to book us um a stay at

the resort where we met in Mexico."

Yeah. And his laptop is just like

sitting on like the arm of the couch. So

she grabs it and opens it and is pulling

up and she's like, "What? There's a

suite called the princess suite. That's

perfect for us." So like she like goes

and starts booking it. But it's also

linked to his phone and text messages

start showing up on the side. And so a

text pops up and it's from Luke's cousin

and it just says like squared away that

mistake marriage yet. And she's like

mistake marriage. She's like,

"Accidental marriage feels different

than mistake marriage." So she's like,

"Oh,

is that what he's calling it?"

Exactly.

And uh Luke's like, "Lol, like not yet

sort of energy." And his cousin's like,

"Well, if you need more motivation, like

Molly was asking about you."

And he's like, "Molly?" And he's like,

"Your first love." And he's like, "Cool.

Thanks for letting me know." And then

his cousin says something like

like, "Have you told her yet?" And he's

like, "Not yet." And the cousin's like,

"Well, like not telling her is just

going to like make it harder." And she's

like, "What is this conversation?"

And like Luke is like, "Yeah, I'll tell

her soon." Or like whatever it was, but

she like closes the laptop and is like,

"Fuck." Like this is not what I thought

it was. I

Right. I read too much into it.

Yep. We are not aligned. I have stronger

feelings for him than he has for me. I

forced him into this.

I feel very bad about this. So, she just

like decides to like go like she just

like hops in bed and like pretends to be

asleep and is like I don't want to talk

to him. I'll figure this out in the

morning.

So, the next morning

she takes off for work, but like leaves

the signed divorce papers on the dining

table like with a handwritten note. And

she's like, "I'm going to come clean to

the board. I'm going to tell them

everything."

Yeah. I just need to like

I don't want you to feel obligated to

stay in this. Like it's not worth it.

And so like Luke wakes up and is like,

"Oh man, I'm so bummed she already left

for work. I like can't wait to see her.

She's like the best thing in my world."

Then when he's like brushing his teeth,

he sees her silicone like wedding ring

on the counter and he's like, "She never

leaves that

laying like what?" So he's already like

like his gut is telling him something's

off, but he hasn't fully like put the

pieces together yet. So he like goes

into the kitchen is like making his

coffee and then he like

grabs his laptop to do some work. And

when he opens it, he sees that the

resort is up and he's like, "What?" He's

like, "Was she going to book it?" He's

like, "We absolutely should. Like that'd

be like so fun." And then he like sees

that the texts were up and he's like

and his gut is like just starts sinking.

He's like, "Oh." He's like, "This is not

good." And as he's reading, he's like,

"Oh, [ __ ] This is not good." And then

he looks kind of beyond his laptop on

the dining table and like sees the

folder and opens it

and there's the note from her that's

very much like the

I described it in my outline as like a

handwritten martyr note, right? It's

like, "Sorry for pushing you into this.

I can't make you play along.

It's not fair to you. Like,

right, right. I'm going to make this

right.

When you find someone to love, like,

she'll be the luckiest girl. And he's

like, "The fuck?" Like,

"What are you talking about?" And then

like looks beyond that and he's like,

"Sign divorce papers." And he's like,

he's like, "This is not what I wanted to

happen here.

Switch back to Natalie. It seems as

though she has just broken the news to

the board and is like coming clean with

all of them and is at is at the board

meeting. And as she's kind of like

wrapping up everything, she just hears

like wife being shouted and like Luke

comes in and she's like, "Don't worry

about it. It's done. I I told the board

everything." And he's like, "I did it."

Yeah. And he's like she's like, "I told

them the truth." Right. And he's like,

"That we met in Mexico and I wanted you

immediately. Is that the truth you told

them?" He's like, "That you kicked me

out of your room so your dad wouldn't

catch us? That that night in Vegas was

the best night of my entire life?" Like

just very He's like, "That we're perfect

together. Like, what all did you tell

the board? Tell me everything."

He's like, "And I don't know what you

why you wrote that in your note." He's

like, "Cuz I'm not getting married

again. Cuz I'm already married and I'm

not getting divorced." So, like

Jackson doesn't [ __ ] with cheaters. So,

I wasn't

the mascot.

That's my bestie.

I mean, I made it to win it.

Can't disappoint Jackson at this point.

Yeah.

Declares his love, gives her her ring

back.

uh very much the scene in like the

romcom movie where like at this point

like I don't know when they've collapsed

to the ground and are having their

private moment then they like kind of

look up and see like the whole board has

like moved and is like what they say

they whispered that part like

everyone is very invested cheering for

their love

her dad is like this is the sort of

leadership I've been looking for

Stop owning your actions and moving

forward.

We'll work on the CEO transition

immediately. The company's yours in 6

months, which does feel a little loose

if I'm being honest.

Okay.

Yeah. You know, I was like, we're

choosing our moments in this. Um, and

that's that's the end of the book. Oh,

there are three epilogues. Oh, the first

epilogue they have a renewal ceremony.

They have a actual wedding.

Um, and I'll also say within the

epilogues be because this was the fourth

and final book in the series,

they do like final like point of view,

right? This person's pregnant, this, you

know, this person is moving to another

country, whatever.

Them watching the other couple get

married, having like just like

reminiscing together.

Yes. So like the first epilog they have

their renewal ceremony.

The second epilog they go back to Mexico

and she had a new Blizz costume made

that had strategic snaps.

Nice.

Yes. Oh, but when they I forgot to

mention this earlier, but I was like,

"No, no, no."

when she when they boned in the Blizz

costume at one point she's like he's

like sit on the bench so I can take your

skates off or like whatever and she's

like I can't sit down I'll make a mess.

He's like we're not leaving this costume

here. Like this is coming home with us.

Like so she like folds it under herself.

So I'm like I'm assuming Blizz had

multiple costumes on hand because if

they only had one

it makes sense to have more than one.

If they Well, if they only had one they

would have been [ __ ]

Yeah. So, one can hope that they had two

but none had the strategic snaps of

epilog.

Luke is a big fan of the strategic

snaps. And then epilog 3, I don't know.

All of the couples are happy. Some of

them have kids, some of them don't.

Their kids are now playing hockey. It's

moving on to the next generation.

The end. Hm.

Okay.

It seems like a like a a warm read. Like

there is some strife and stress and and

plot, but it's not like

super intense. It

won't take you out.

Quickly resolved.

Like it's not like it the

miscommunications draw on for a third of

the book and that's the whole plot. It's

like,

well, and honestly, I feel like I like

kept blinking and like I'd be like, "Oh,

I've read 20%." Just like with how

quickly this one moved

because it felt like a lot of it both.

I'm like overarchingly not a lot of time

passed, but it it did feel like a lot of

time had passed with how it was written.

I did read all four.

I think

SJ Till's writing continues to improve.

So, I feel like this one was like the

the most well-written

of the four.

I'll say Sleek Kitten. I was like I

couldn't for until like I couldn't tell

you what the girl's name was. He just

called her kitten.

I'm like [ __ ] hell. She has a name.

She's a human. Like there there has to

be more to the story, but I don't

remember it.

Right.

And so I do feel like

we progressed

sure

through the four

and they are fun. I would recommend

them. But I'm also kind of like yes like

what what did they do for business? I

don't know general business but she knew

she could do a lot of good as the CEO.

Really, basically all you need to know

is generational wealth, but not so much

that you're like lizard people, but like

enough that like they're not regular

people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're not like us.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah. They're not as as wild as they

could be, but they are We are not the

same.

Yeah. That's

that's the energy

cuz I feel like there were things that

I'm like, "Oh, we just we're not going

to like look back on that. We're not

going to figure out that next step."

Okay. I don't need to look deeper into

this book than this book is willing to

go.

Sure.

And sometimes I do recognize that I ask

more of a book than it's willing to

give.

Yeah.

I knew exactly what I was getting. It

gave exactly what it promised it would.

It met expectations.

You get it. So, what what's the rating

scale though? Like mascot costumes.

Skates.

Yeah, hockey skates maybe.

Yeah, skates.

Yeah,

silicone wedding rings.

Let's go skates.

Okay. Out of

there were

four books, which means that there have

been eight main characters. If they each

own a pair of skates, that's 16 skates

total.

Oh, okay. That kept going.

It really did. Well, I was going to go

eight skates,

but 16 felt nicer.

16 does feel nicer.

I'm going to go like

10,

okay,

out of 16 skates.

Okay,

hear me. And I mean this in the best way

I can mean it.

Mhm.

This book won't change your life.

Sure.

Yeah. like

whatever

comfort hockey romcom you're looking for

that's not too deep.

Yeah.

Yes. This is it. Right.

This feels and I don't know that I can

explain this fully, but it feels like a

self-care read

where it's not like bully romance.

There's no enemies to lovers. There's no

big trauma. It's just a light-hearted,

nice, warm, comfy

Yes.

Read.

I think that is a great way to describe

it.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, 10 out of 16 skates.

Okay.

Sure. We could math that down.

Well, that would be five out of eight.

Five out of eight. Yeah. Yeah.

Look at us.

I'll add it. I'll add the series to the

list.

Yeah. I would recommend it. It's a fun

series. Uh

the the one with Jackson and Caitlyn,

the very first book has like the I think

it was going around on TikTok, but there

were two books that kind of had a

similar scene where uh like the kiss cam

was on the girl.

Yeah, the other one was what? Icebreaker

or No,

no, it wasn't Icebreaker. It Something

Hearts.

It doesn't matter.

Nikki Lawson. Feel like I can name the

author of that one, but I can't name the

book. I do remember that the dude on the

cover of the book looked too young for

me

in a way that I was like, "Oh, that's

uncomfortable.

You're a child."

Yeah.

I'm sure you're a child who can legally

drink, but in my heart, you're a child.

Yeah. No, I feel that.

Yeah.

Uh, something hearts, I think, was the

Nikki Lawson one. So, they both had the

kiss cam scene, but I do know like the

first book in the series had gained some

momentum and popularity

because that scene had like

gone viral.

All right. I enjoyed like I think I've

honestly read all four of them within

the last like two months. So, like

they are very easy to pick up and put

down between other series when you need

a break.

Palette cleanser.

Yes, absolutely. It's a very good

palette cleanser. I've already

downloaded other SJ Tilly series to

read.

Um

I I don't know what to expect of any of

them. I I just went, "Hell yeah, I'll

I'll download it. I'll see what

happens."

Sure. Well,

why not?

I like to live on the edge like that.

I know you do.

You know, with the

mildly spicy Rob

Mhm. Mhm. Mhm.

Yeah. like mildly spicy. I don't know.

Everything's a

It's all relative.

Is it no longer mild? If there like do

you have to have multiples for it to no

longer be mild by our

standards at this point?

I don't know that you can draw a

straight line like that.

No, you're not wrong.

Is there some like, you know,

I don't want to say what do I want to

say? monogamous rather than poly sort of

dynamics that go on that are

that are a little spicy. Oh, well, and I

know we've kind of talked about this

before. I feel like you can read a book

where they're having sex

and there's a little bit of anal play. I

don't know, a pinky in the in in the

anus and you're like, "Ooh, wow. That's

real kinky." In one book, right? Like,

woo, that was

It's all how it's written.

Yes. Because then there are other books

where you're like and then he tied her

down and blindfolded her. You're like,

"Shit, a finger in the anus was just

first base." Like in

literally literally like he's flogging

her like what and you don't know where

it's going to land, which does make it a

little hard to to figure. It's all

relative.

Yes, it is all relative. So, with all

that said, 10 out of 16 skates, five out

of eight. If you like to do additional

division, um, let us know how many

skates you would recommend and rate.

Please let us know if there are any

other books you'd like us to review in

the future, and we will see you next

time. Bye, smart puppies. Bye.

Well, that's it for this week, Smut

[ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz

it sure was great for us. If you're

digging what we're doing, it would mean

a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and

review the show wherever you're

listening right now. Maybe tell that

sexy someone to lend us an ear. We love

you. We appreciate you. And we'll see

you next week. Stay smiley.

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