Smut Club

well hello all you beautiful

people you know what time it

is ladies and gents guys and dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for Smite Club here's

your hosts Chelsea and Hannah

[Music]

[Laughter]

hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club

i'm Hannah and I am Chelsea and this is

the show where we are two licensed

mental health therapists who uh read and

review varying calibers of smut often

while daydrinking

did I I feel like I haven't said the

spiel in a while and I feel like it

didn't roll off the tongue as easily i

was going to say you did it in a

different order but I liked it yeah cuz

I couldn't remember the order but I was

like I feel like that covered the basics

you did you hit all points that's what

matters like what also we're like over

70 plus episodes in yeah you guys get it

i keep saying it and at this point I

don't know who it's for like unless you

just picked up this as your first

episode and then welcome and I was going

to say it's for you

only for you and no one else i feel like

at this point it's part of our flow like

we don't know how to start like how do

we how do you start without that like

apparently like I did today which was

awkward so we got to go back

okay all that said today we are

reviewing Butterfly by Joe Briner it is

listed as a dark hockey college romance

that feels like a lot of trope that's

only like half the tropes oh good okay

oh yes the very good we've got step

siblings we've got bullying we've got

morally

gray situations going there's

there's so much happening

it's so fully

sent and if you're not in that headsp

space it's probably not going to be the

book for you in that moment right but

I'm like if you're willing to suspend

belief and just like lean into the

number of tropes in this book I'm like

this is so much for 244 pages i have to

be in such right place for a bully

romance yes because the majority of the

time I'm just like I don't like this

everybody just be nice well and so we're

obviously about to hop into it the the

two main characters we have Mason and

Lesie um and I will say most of the

bullying takes place like right at the

beginning okay which somehow makes it

feel better

even enough okay close enough so it's

enough to let you know like the bullying

happened but not so much that you're

like deeply uncomfortable because

they're so mean yeah yes um very much

the the energy where you're like if you

look back on it and they refer back to

it throughout the book repeatedly but I

also feel like the way it's described

like is palatable enough that you're

like okay I can I can move beyond this

right so we start the the prologue is

Mason at his dad's wedding um his mom

passed away 5 years ago very tragically

like rare illness sort of situation um

and his dad is getting remarried he's

not super thrilled about it and I just

like we're starting off with a bang

Hannah i like my the first quote I

already have highlighted at 18 I'd

already been with dozens of girls around

my age and a handful of older women too

all forgotten as soon as I

came a

But did they come

no they didn't yes he's like revered as

a sex god at 18 at 18 yes just graduated

high school sure he's supposed to go to

Harvard in the fall okay um and play

hockey oh I didn't know Harvard had a

hockey team i don't know if they if they

know they have a hockey team either

never checked have no idea oh god so at

the wedding he looks out and on the

dance floor sees like the most beautiful

girl that he's ever seen in his entire

life and he's like dibs mine i will

conquer this woman i need to go

introduce myself immediately um and then

his dad walks up and is like oh yeah

that's your new stepsister whoops yeah

how did they never meet before the

wedding

we don't really have a lot of details on

the parents'

relationship like and they're like

they're clearly very happy together it's

a it's a good marriage for them like but

it also kind of sounds like it was maybe

more their marriage was kept more

privately um Right right their

relationship was about them yes and both

of their kids are seniors in high school

at that point who he plays hockey very

competitively and then she dances and

like I think is like a dance major sort

of in so like

full Yeah i'm like I don't know how long

they dated before they decided to get

married but yes apparently that's

independent they're on their own sorry

i'm just going to need you to suspend

belief and if if we can't suspend belief

about the fact that they hadn't met yet

we're [ __ ] for the rest of it

understood yeah got it got it got it

well I did read a book recently where

that happened like but it was

established that her mom was like super

flighty and would do this kind of thing

and had only been dating the guy for

like 4 weeks and so it was like What

book was that girl i don't remember i

think I read it though but they met in a

bar or something and she didn't know

that it was him yes but he knew that it

was her that situation yes and then

everybody died

i'll maybe I'll review it if I can

remember the name of it first step

remember the book how many books did you

end up reading in 2024 exactly 300 good

for you i know yeah i think I

hit 160

which for having a toddler running

around and working full time I feel

really good about that number and you

should it well cuz I All right i'm

absolutely that [ __ ] that sets my

Goodreads goal low so I don't disappoint

myself andor stress myself out cuz I'm

like I don't set the goal to 160 for the

year because then I like would feel very

stressed about maintaining that pace and

so I set my good readads goal to 52

books a book a week is reasonable yeah

yeah now mind you at the time of

recording this episode we're like it's

three almost 3 weeks in yeah and I'm

like okay we're already like 15 10 to I

don't know how many but I roughly 10 to

15 books in at this point

so I think we're already beyond our goal

but I Well I like using good readads to

track but I also don't want to be

stressed out if I don't keep a certain

pace yeah so that's how I've that's the

that's the way I found to manage my

stress levels about it well at the end

of the year I was listening to books and

reading them at the same time which I

used to do all the time but I really

haven't but I was like I'm almost there

i'm going to listen at like 1.5 speed

yes absolutely but I definitely lowered

my goal for this year i can't listen to

like anything on a standards like I

don't listen to podcasts i can't listen

to books on standard speed it's always

like time and a half two is too fast

yeah two is far too fast unless they're

like a super like slow talker but I feel

like at like the cadence with like which

you and I speak two is too fast that

sounds stressful yeah anyway yeah all

that said um so now he's mad about it

yeah so now he's like big mad that he

like has seen the most perfect woman in

the world and she's off limits but like

and every other line at this point is

already like thinking about her lips

like around his [ __ ] and I'm like

good sir this is so out of pocket so

fast have you even spoken to her like

buddy no he has not um his dad

introduces them and he's immediately a

dick to her where his dad's like "Hey

like this is my son." She's like "Oh I

guess that makes you my new

stepbrother." And Mason goes "I see you

got your intelligence from your mom."

like that big of a dick from the start

and that big of a dick the entire book

like he's unapologetically himself this

entire time and so Leslie's like not

really about this new this new

stepbrother um but he ends up excusing

himself goes to grab his girlfriend off

the dance floor takes her to the pool

house and like demands she like gets on

her knees and suck him off while he's

thinking about Leslie the entire time so

that's that's the prologue right sure

that's where we're starting

it's like Joe wants me to hate Mason

like

Yeah i feel very conflicted about Mason

because if you're looking for a

possessive morally gray I will do

anything for you right right kind of

alpha male i don't know i once again

he's 18

i I couldn't take some of some of the

things where we go in this book

seriously but yeah the I feel conflicted

about Mason the entire time um so we

switch to Leslie's point of view now and

the whole book is is dual point of view

going back and forth between them and

her mom and Paul Paul is Mason's dad are

about to leave on their honeymoon and

she wants to go back to Harlem and like

stay on her friend's couch for the

summer she's like "I don't want to be in

this large house with this random

[ __ ] stepbrother like I I'll go back

to Harlem and like hang out with my

people while you go on your honeymoon."

And her mom is like "No like nonsense

like Mason will keep you company." And

Mason is like "Nah about that life." And

like he just wants to rage with his

friends mhm

and is like throwing parties every night

where to the point where like Leslie

finally like is like I can't sleep this

has been going on incessantly so she

goes out to the pool house where all of

them are

partying mason has one girl between his

legs and another girl sucking his neck

like

yep the 18-year-old sex god

but all I'm hearing is that the women do

all the work i'm not hear like I'm not

like I'm not hearing how he's

contributing like I don't get

it but like no all I could think was I

know that you have not seen the movie

Barbarian because you don't watch those

things but part of part of the premise

of that is like this woman books an

Airbnb and this random white dude shows

up and says he also booked the same

rental on a different website

and he is so kind and lovely it's Bill

Scarsgard he's so kind and lovely but

you're immediately like "No I don't know

you." Like I wouldn't stay with this guy

even if he was really nice like I don't

know you yeah you're like "This feels

like murder." When you haven't spent

time developing a f a new family unit

i would probably let her go back to

Harlem just throwing it out there yeah

yeah that's spoilies bill Scarsgard

turned out to not be the bad guy at all

and he stayed lovely the whole time i

was hoping yeah yeah and now I really

don't need to watch it you really don't

because that's not the point of the

movie at all

i'm sorry at this point the number of

times that I look at my husband and I'm

like "What do you want to watch?" And

he's just like "Anything that's not

animated for the love of God." He's like

"I just want to watch real people on the

screen."

Oh god parenthood it's the best um okay

so Leslie goes out there because she

wants to tell them all to turn it down

and Mason just like is like looking at

her and like making eye contact with her

while the girls between his legs and the

other one is like kissing his neck and

so she ends up pulling his friend Emory

out on the dance floor and he's like

"Okay fine." Like if we're here to rage

let's rage and he is not about that like

he is automatically like you're not

welcome here like makes a big show of it

and she ends up like running back to the

house and is like this is not a great

setup and then the bullying and like

prank feels like prank is too light you

know like but you might call it a prank

it's bullying mhm uh that's where it

like really kind of starts to escalate

where she is supposed to go for her

first dance class at the local studio

and he [ __ ] in her point shoes

oh no yeah cuz like

Yeah and she like had another pair

you don't do that well then like she

puts a dead fish in his car

and it's just like going back and forth

with that but like his parents end up

getting back or their parents end up

coming back from the honeymoon and then

this is like continuing to go on just

like silently under their noses and so

like Mason mails all of her underwear to

the dance studio

good yeah and then like the other girls

are like "How did you get on Mason's bad

side?" Like he's not someone to like go

against like the lore of this

18-year-old recently graduated high

school senior

and so uh she picks the lock on Mason's

bedroom door and goes and she's like "I

know he mentioned that he had lucky

hockey skates i don't know which ones

are the lucky ones." So she just takes

all of his hockey skates and and donates

them

and so then the next night she wakes up

and feels like someone's watching her

he's just in her room like staring at

her in the dark while she sleeps and

it's very like this whole like this

means war sort of right like you've

crossed a line now like me sending your

underwear to the dance studio and coming

in your point shoes is fine right but

messing with my hockey skates is not

fine yeah so his response is that the

next day she's driving and gets pulled

over and her car gets searched for drugs

that are in her car

yeah that's not a prank anymore like it

was questionable anyway but but there's

absolutely some white privilege going on

in this situation because she calls her

new stepdad and apparently he's able to

get her out of the situation sure so it

you know it wasn't that big of a deal oh

to be white and have money

oh to be Caucasian and affluent how

great would it would it be

i'm like "What?" Like "That's okay

fine." Once again we just likeending

that's cool it's the whole time we're

like "Sure why not that too?"

So her response to the drugs in her car

is she uh emails Harvard and tells them

he cheated on his AP exams

like so for the record Leslie's not in

like completely innocent here like Mason

is doing some [ __ ] up [ __ ] and Leslie

is also doing some [ __ ] up [ __ ] in

response she's absolutely matching his

freak already

so this goes on for a while um and then

like Leslie like calls for a truce

eventually and is like this is

exhausting and just like isn't fun and

so a few days after that she's taking a

midnight swim and she hears a splash and

like Ma Mason joins her and is like

swimming close to her

and pulls her up to him and like he's

obviously hard and I'm like "Yeah sure

okay a truce means [ __ ]

that sort of energy." Obviously yeah

well and then she's like "You don't want

this you hate me." And he's like "Yes."

like as he like pulls her against him

he's like "This is hatred want to hate

me

back."

[Laughter]

Okay he

ultimately lets her go but it's like the

first like intimate like she's not fully

against it and Right right yeah but it's

the first time either of them has been

explicit about the attraction yeah like

that's where the first kind

of and is that I guess maybe it explicit

about the it's still feel like it feels

vague like a lot of it just like

alluding to like the what's there i

don't know so did he get like his offer

from Harvard rescended or is he still

going to Harvard well we'll get Oh sorry

we'll get there in a second okay because

so the next day he's having his friends

over for a pool party and so Leslie like

he's like "Come out and join us." And so

she does and she goes out and she has

her headphones in and she's just she's

been dozing by the pool and then one of

the guys and um Emory the dude that

she'd kind of been dancing with and

Tiffany who is Mason's on again offagain

girlfriend the one that was at the

wedding with him at the very least or

invite her invite Leslie into the pool

with them and then when she sits up she

didn't realize they had untied her

swimsuit when she was dozing so when she

gets up her swimsuit just falls off and

she's just naked in front of all of them

m and like the look on Mason's face is

pissed and she's like is he pissed at me

like what like I does he really hate me

like this much um and so she like runs

back in the house and is like I'm

[ __ ] done i'm out i'm not doing this

i'm going to Bee's house her best friend

and she's like "I'm not staying here the

rest of the summer it's not worth it."

Yeah 1,000% said "I tried." Yeah not

worth it like looks at him and is like

"You won." Like okay the truth meant

nothing got it yeah very much

um so cut to Mason's perspective he's

now standing alone in her room she's

left he knows he [ __ ] up but also he

was not part of that prank he's like he

didn't realize he's like I didn't know

that Tiffany cared that like would care

that much that like I was showing

interest in someone else or like that

she was that jealous and so before

everyone like Mason kicked everyone out

of the house but before they left he

like made everyone go through their

phones and delete like delete all of the

photos of Leslie and also like you know

because he's an 18-year-old alpha sex

god is like send them to me first

i was going to say he threatened all of

them within an inch of their life if

they

got I just assumed he was like send them

to me and then delete

them

sorry yeah so Got it got it got it do

you want to airdrop it or what's the

quickest

way

um but he's also like standing in her

room while it's dark and he's like

"She's mine i'll fix it." Like and then

his dad is in the doorway and is just

like "I don't know what you did but like

if you hurt that poor girl like

things are not cool." And he's like "I'm

going to make it right." Like I know

like I've got this i'm going to make it

right he threatens Emory his best friend

and his best friend's like he's like "If

you cuz he was the one who who did it

who who did it right?" And then he like

facetimes Tiffany who's nude in bed

already and like hold and she's like

"Hey baby." Just like holding her tits

for him so he takes a screenshot and is

like "And if you ever do anything to

Leslie these photos will get

leaked." Okay fine

so okay buddy so now it's a month later

you literally almost got her arrested on

drug

charges what yeah and they

untied her bathing

suit okay i'm sorry i'm suspended i'm

sorry but he can't let other people see

his woman like that you know I

unsuspended for a second because I

forgot but I've resuspended you got to

resuspend it's the only way this works

if you unsuspend

you see where it leads the most

believable thing would be if he had them

send him copies of the pictures that's

that's

where Sorry

okay the most believable thing is that

he now has a stalker collage of all of

the nude photos that they sent him

okay okay so it's a month later uh

following Leslie's perspective it is her

first day at Tab University okay who I

don't know but apparently their hockey

team plays Cornell at some point in the

season so okay you know that that realm

of of schools um she's moving in the

last of her clothes and her last load of

boxes and when she like runs into a wall

that's six foot three named

Mason I hated everything about it um and

she's like "The [ __ ] are you doing

here?" And he's like "I transferred from

Harvard i just wanted to see your face."

Was it everything you hoped it would be

yeah it

was yeah i feel like this is one of

those books where we're rapidly

approaching the point where I just keep

going okay because I was there in the

prologue like I was trying so hard sure

why not of course obviously yeah you do

you Mace get it bud um he offers to

help pick up her boxes and help finish

moving her in but he's also like "Why

are you like your shorts so short?" He

like he doesn't want he doesn't want

people seeing his legs nope yeah no so

they like get to her dorm and as he's

putting the boxes down her creepy RA

shows up who like clearly is a little

interested in her and like "Yeah I just

wanted to check if you needed any help

like nailing art to the

wall." And Mason's like he'll be nailing

nothing to any wall in this freaking

dorm the RA is like "Because you're the

art and I'm the nail lol."

Like "Did I ever tell you about one time

I had someone chat me?"

And I was overseas i was in Europe for

the summer i was 17 and I turned 18 as

soon as I came back it was a friend who

was already legally an adult okay and

chatted me and was like "Dibs on your

leg 18 kiss." and then followed it up

with a chat that said "You're cute i'm

cute sometimes cute people do cute

things together." Nope

i've thought about that line for 15

years

i can see why

16 years oh god that hurts it does a

little bit oh

god for so many reasons yeah but that's

kind of the blatant energy the RA is

giving and Mason's not having it and

just he's like "You won't be nailing

anything to the walls." And like slams

the door in his face and Leslie's like

"That's rude what you just did." And

Mason's like "He wants to [ __ ] you." And

she's like "Well that's none of your

business." And Mason is very much the

anything that has to do with you is my

business

okay

sure mhm why not Mace

obviously like you've done nothing for

her come on now truly you've carried a

box outside of that you've made her life

hell for months right carrying one box

does not suddenly make you like the man

of her dreams you're a douche like come

on Mace you might be an 18-year-old sex

god but you're still an [ __ ] and I

haven't seen any evidence of that to

this point because all the women are

doing all the work i'm just saying he

tells her that now that they're not

under their parents' roof he's taking

what's his

they start kissing okay and then his

hand starts to

wander up the you know maybe he does

like the short shorts maybe maybe they

do serve a purpose um but then he

discovers that she's waxed and

immediately is like "Who's that for who

did you do this for

who gets to see what?" Like that whole

energy and she's like "No one i'm a

virgin." And then he's like "Yeah [ __ ]

right you're a virgin." She's like "I'm

a dancer do you know how tight leotards

are [ __ ] gets awkward."

I don't miss being in a dance class no

the smell of that studio oh god like all

very clean people but like it's just

it's a lot of bodies well it's a lot of

polyester it's a lot of

spandex it's just a

lot have you watched or did you even

know it

existed on Max there's a roller skating

competition show

no it's fantastic i should have known

that well you do now i do now

it's all of the outfits you want it to

be and more yes i'm looking forward to

that and they're all so

impressive but I also say that as

someone who's only tried to roller skate

once in her entire life and it was on my

25th birthday and I haven't ever

attempted again

so anyone who roller skates is very

impressive to me

if you just have them on it's impressive

to me i grew up rollerblading and so I

don't like I don't think it computed

that it would be that different it's

[ __ ] different well it also didn't

dawn on me that when we went to the

skating rink on my 25th birthday that

they wouldn't have both cuz the roller

rink I grew up at they had both

rollerblades and roller skates and the

rink we went to exclusively had roller

skates so I was like "Oh I don't know

how to do this." H and learning a new

skill in a sea of 13year-olds who are

very good at that skill already

made for a memorable birthday

one of our friends had his camera out

and was like "You I know you're taking

photos of us on the rink but there's too

many children it just looks like you're

a grown man taking pictures of

children."

Oh no

a we know you were trying to be

thoughtful but you you missed the optics

of this he's also a very tall white man

who wears shorter shorts

because he's so tall it doesn't matter

yeah yeah like it can be an 8 in inseam

and they're still going to look like

shorty short shorts just because of his

build

so everything about him was just tall

white man showing a lot of thigh with a

camera at a roller rink questionable at

best

poor guy yeah we're like "Choices were

made by all of us tonight and now we

know." Uh

so she's is defending herself that like

the the waxing's just for me like it's

not for anyone else um but then she also

is just like I'm really confused this is

a new energy like this is not this was

not how we were over the summer you hate

me i hate you

now your hand is in my pants like what's

happening here what are we doing and she

asks him to leave she's just like this

is too much and he's like not until I

fix it and she's like I will call our

parents if you don't leave like right

you are doing the opposite of fixing

you're making it worse please leave

1,000%

um so switch to Mason's perspective he

immediately from leaving her room goes

to threaten the RA to to leave her alone

um and people on campus already seem to

recognize him and know him because he's

going to play on the hockey team for TAB

he's second string so that did feel

slightly more believable that he wasn't

you know given a the hockey star yeah

the hockey star full scholarship

starting spot right right right he's the

power forward for you know whatever

we're like felt I'm like second string

center felt more

realistic but then he's also like well

what's my next step with Leslie and how

do I make this right and he's like and I

don't want any other girls he's like but

I know like over the summer Leslie like

didn't like seeing Tiffany on me and so

like that's why she like danced with

Emory like maybe I like need to make her

a little jealous

healthy you get it yeah really good

nothing but very healthy relationship

dynamics throughout this entire book

yeah through and through we don't need a

conversation why would we right i can

just make out with another girl how

helpful could a conversation be in this

situation stupid so back to Leslie she

didn't sleep well

um kept she she was like just kept

thinking about how her stepbrother had

been like no one else will ever touch my

[ __ ] and she's like his [ __ ] what like

she but it's mine it's attached to me

when she she goes and like ends up

taking a cold shower and uh meets

another girl in her in the shared

bathroom and her name's Lucy and Lucy's

like what's the story with that guy that

came out of your room yesterday and

she's like cuz not going to lie girl he

was hot and then I love the quote he's

like lose your virginity and don't care

if he calls you back

hot i said "Okay I would still care."

Yeah yeah

i I don't know if I've ever seen anyone

hot enough that I'm like "You can

justify being a piece of shit." Right

it's just not how my brain computes

things me either

like even if we're ships in the night I

would like to know that you're not a

total douchebag yes make one i don't

want to be rewarding terrible

people obviously I'm a reward i just

realized i was like obviously that's

really good you are what a great way to

view yourself more people should view

themselves as a reward amen maybe if

more people viewed themselves as a

reward they would care if they got

called back after they lost their

virginity respect yourself please you

are a reward amen and everyone deserves

to be treated as such

um but in this conversation like

Leslie's like "Yeah like we're nothing

to each other." And then when the girl's

like "Well like let him know I'm

available." Then Leslie's like "I'm

sorry Lucy he's not available." And

Lucy's like

respectfully you need to get your [ __ ]

together

lucy's the real MVP here yes like Lucy's

like he's like too hot to like if you

don't lock him down someone else will

try so like you you're not going to have

the luxury of just like this level of

indecision right make a decision right

we love a new friend lucy Lucy is a real

one for sure so uh she ends up going to

the dining hall that morning to grab

breakfast and Mason is sitting with some

hockey players friends I don't know

doesn't [ __ ] matter and when he sees

her he ends up like pulling another girl

down onto his lap and like kisses her

neck and the girl's like

giggling yeah and Leslie's like "The

fuck?" Like "This is not great." Um well

it's also like "Okay dude so you had

your hand down my pants yesterday you

told me that I'm yours and all this

stuff and clearly that didn't mean

anything." Like that would be my fault

like well and I forgot that on she ran

into him again on her way into the

cafeteria like bumped into him and he

like made sure she didn't fall but oh

the book is called butterfly because he

calls her butterfly incessantly it's the

pet name it's the pet name from the jump

I personally cannot refer to her as

butterfly it just doesn't feel authentic

to me um I appreciate that but when she

when he like grabs her so she doesn't

fall he's like I guess even butterflies

are clumsy sometimes

and like is just a little she's like the

warmth that I saw in him yesterday is

gone like more of like the coldness and

I don't know cruelty might be like too

strong but like indifferent yeah like

she was like "Okay so like what the [ __ ]

that like yesterday you were telling me

these things and now you're being kind

of cold and indifferent and then he

pulls another girl onto his lap." Be

consistent dude yes like this is not

helping me trust you 1,000% mhm and so

she ends up getting flustered gets lost

on her way to class by the time she

finds her way to class she's like 5

minutes late mason is in this class and

he's seated with his friend she ends up

grabbing a seat further back but is like

very flustered this whole time and is

like confused and trying to figure it

all out and ends up like gripping her

pen so hard she snaps it and the ink

starts to like go everywhere and so her

seatmate like gives her a napkin and is

being kind um so Mason threatens him

with murder

maybe not

murder but at the break the seatmate Dan

introduces himself and he's like "Oh you

have a little bit of ink on your face."

So he like grabs the napkin to try and

get it off and Mason is immediately

there and is like "Feel free to take

your hands off my steps

sister." Immediately like Mason you

cannot have it always cuz then he

immediately turns to Leslie and goes "Go

wash your face." So both of y'all [ __ ]

or get off the pot like no yes like and

she's like "You you don't control me."

He's like She's like "If I want to have

ink on my face I'll have ink on my face

bitch." Well and he's like "Want to bet

I don't control you?" What

like good sir you guys bullied like had

a shitty escalating prank war that was

just mean all summer then you show up at

her her college when you're not even

supposed to be there with the reported

intention to fix things and your answer

to fixing things is making out with

another girl in front of her and then

being really mean to her new friend Dan

i know it doesn't make it any better but

I guess he didn't technically make out

with Emily he just kissed her neck oh

that's worse that feels more intimate it

does feel more intimate yeah yeah now

that you say that it does feel I don't

even My husband gets sad cuz I don't

want him to kiss my neck half the time i

know i'm like I told him last week I go

"You can kiss my neck." And then I like

I locked up and just tilted my chin i go

"Get your chance

and he's like "Yes this is

exactly what I had in mind

this is the romantic moment I was hoping

for with my wife that's so

good oh my god we're the queen of really

great romantic moments." Yeah seriously

oh my gosh um so then the professor

walks up at this point in the break and

is like "This seems like an interesting

dynamic." Anyways you guys are gonna be

partners for the everyone needs to pair

up and choose a partner so you guys are

going to be a team and like pairs up

Mason and Leslie but then CL class goes

back to happening and then Dan is like

saying to Leslie he's like "Oh well like

I can like see if like my partner would

trade to work with Mason like you and I

can work together if you don't feel

comfortable working with him." A and

Leslie's sitting there and she's like

"There's a snowballs chance in hell that

Mason would let me work with anyone

who's not him even if I don't fully

understand." Yeah he's gonna make all of

our lives miserable if I try to do this

so like justice for Dan but we're not

going to do that

and

honestly Dan isn't a big enough

character to need justice if he doesn't

get justice no one will remember that's

fair we'll all move on and still be okay

after class Mason is like "Okay we

should go back to my place and work on

the work on the project." And she's like

"I'm not going to your place like we are

going to a neutral location we're not

going back to either of our homes." Yeah

and so she's like "Let's go to the

library." And Mason is immediately like

"Okay yeah the library works." And she's

like "Why was he so agreeable to the

library?" And as soon as they get off on

like the fifth floor she's like "Oh

because it's literally empty." Yeah

there's just a one study table amidst

all of the the shelves of books and no

one in sight

whoops should have gone to a coffee shop

yeah or maybe like a lower floor i

imagine i'm like right i was like was it

the specific topic is that why you ended

up on the fifth floor because I imagine

the lower floors are still busy the

first week of of of class at a new

college

but sure let's go to the fifth floor

that's Yeah that was one I'm like I feel

like we had other solutions very readily

available in the same [ __ ] building

we did yeah we absolutely did um and he

holds her hand on the walk to the

library and she's like trying to pull it

back and she's like "People might see."

And he's like continues to hold her hand

good well he says "Maintaining my

reputation meant I almost lost something

incredibly important to me i hadn't

realized it at the time but after I

decided in order me in order for me to

get it back I had to change my my

outlook." And she said "It's that easy."

And he says "Butterfly when you crave

something this desperately anything you

have to do to get it is

easy." I don't know exactly what my face

did

but I have a feeling it was both

distinct and uh disbelieving perhaps

yeah well and I think Leslie feels

similarly where she's like it seems like

he's alluding to me

could it be could it be and so like

she's into it but is also legitimately

fearful that like it's still all a cruel

prank right he's This is all some sick

joke yes um and so in the library when

they get to the fifth floor Leslie

absolutely realizes the mistake that she

made with how isolated it is and he sits

immediately next to her at the table and

like pulls their chairs super close

they're like touching the whole time and

she tries to start the project and he's

like "Well I just want to check on you

how how are you adjusting to college

like how are you adjusting to all this?"

And she's

like "The [ __ ] this feels like a trick

can we just do our project so I can go

home?" Yes and he's like "Well you

looked upset in the cafeteria earlier."

Gross and she's like "I am upset

yesterday you were a caveman this

morning you had someone else in your lap

you're telling me you're here for me you

treated me like an [ __ ] all summer

it's emotional whiplash and I have no

idea what the [ __ ] is happening." Yeah

and now you're you're asking me how I'm

doing and how I'm adjusting like how do

you think I'm adjusting feels like

you're setting me up for something yes

very much and to Mason's credit he like

pauses and he like he owns it and he's

like "You're right." like I can be more

intentional and clearer about what I

want moving forward which is basically

to [ __ ] you welcome well that that too

because she when she's like "You were a

caveman you were an [ __ ] now you're

acting like we're more than we're now

you're acting like we're more than

friends or something or we're friends

however it was worded." And he's like

"We aren't friends we're more than

that." Like one of those and she's like

"Okay so he does view this

as more right i don't It's all erratic

but he owns it he apologizes and he's

like "I'll I'll make it up i'll show you

my intent." And she's like "How how are

you going to fix this?" And he's like

"It's more of a show versus a show like

than tell situation." And then he like

traps her in at the table and fingers

her at the table in the library and then

I mean it's definitely working for her

and then he's like "That's right you

come for

daddy." Um okay and thus the start of

the daddy era of this book

it doesn't stop at any point

okay okay okay okay

it's just daddy all the way through for

me to run

out okay okay

okay

so she comes it's also apparently like

the first time she's ever had anyone

include like she's never digitally

penetrated herself let alone Not anyone

digital

penetration

okay

okay tell me you've had to ask

about histories in a med chart

no what specifically what I was thinking

of was um once many years ago on a

treatment team call with like everybody

so every therapist at the facility all

of medical the head RA everybody

everybody everybody is on this call oh

no somebody got on and was

like and mind you this is like before

9:00 a.m like well before 9:00 a.m

somebody got on and was like "Well there

have been reports of digital

penetration." So I haven't had enough

coffee for this [ __ ] yet like everybody

like immediately is messaging each other

like does that mean what I think it

means i can't please help me like oh

god well that's like and I know I've I

think I've told this story before but

there was a we got a call from a

hospital when I worked crisis in

Nashville uh and they said that a man

had removed their exact words were a

chunk of his penis mhm mhm yeah the

penis chunk

i'm so sorry and we just got to be like

how do we medically write this how do we

professionally and clinically write this

and one guy goes he removed his Oscar

from his meer

we like yep that is what we should put

in this medical chart to follow this

client it's what we're going to report

to Medicaid got

it i don't know the ICD10 code for

that woo yep so after she comes on his

fingers and they go back to working on

the project she's like "This can't

happen again." And he's just like "Sure

thing wink." And she's like "I don't

think he understands that I'm I mean

that." And he's like "I do sure thing

wink." Okay i'm really bad at winking

for the record

you do turn your whole body when you

wink it's because I'm bad at winking

that I like when I'm like You do extra

with

it it's so much shoulder it really is a

whole shoulder with

it it's like Pat

Benitar i feel like I just tried to wink

to not move my

shoulder it was worse you weren't

successful the shoulder actually helps

unfortunately damn it okay so Mason is

late for hockey practice with the team

because of their library shenanigans

good sir you're a collegiate athlete

right like that's a serious And this is

like your first week of practice yes

like

bro the [ __ ] ain't worth

it and Mason would wholeheartedly

disagree with me he was like "Nothing

matters as much as Leslie's [ __ ]

explicitly."

So after practice he gets back to his

apartment and immediately Hugh Jackman's

himself obviously yeah and he's like "I

wish I could still smell her on my

fingers but I had hockey

practice so the smell dissipated over

time you know." Put in your hockey glove

bud just stick your nose in it oh I'm so

sorry i'm so sorry i'm so

sorry that's a different fetish there's

not a lot that I often immediately

regret but that was one that was really

gross sorry so he then texts Leslie to

like make sure she like made it back to

her dorm and he she's like "New phone

who this like but she's legitimately

like "How did you get my number?" And

he's like "We're step siblings did you

think it would be that hard to I asked

your mom?"

Yeah i asked our parents because we are

related and they Yeah you know this

whole like we were going to go to the

same university and I'm surprising you

here thing they gave me your number yeah

you know once again we we got to keep

suspending i mean that's pretty

believable that you'd be like "Hey I'm

going to be at the university." I more

meant that it the parents would be like

"Yes this is a surprise that's not

weird."

Right makes sense yeah sure not like I'm

going to visit her but like I'm

transferring schools from Harvard right

to TAB which just makes me think of the

soda from the 80s

great soda yeah yeah um I looked up Tab

University and it seems like there's

like a TAB center at John's Hopkins so

I'm like okay is that what this was

loosely based on i'm not I'm not quite

sure but like okay it's supposed to be

like that genre right right of school

um when he's texting Leslie though she

like shuts it shuts it down and is like

I wasn't lying earlier like this this

can't happen again like this isn't okay

we are lab partners or whatever and

nothing else yeah and he is not about

that at all um and so then he goes and

asks his roommate

Matt for his plug and hookup for some

new drugs that are on the market vice

and Vixen vixen I think is the like

aphrodesiac that it's like an MDMA

ecstasy kind of thing or

we're suspending all we Okay yeah vice

and Vixen okay vice apparently you have

no refractory period and can just go all

night seems unhealthy but okay

the balls have drained let them gross i

was going to say let them fill before

you go again but I hated everything

about going to go with let them rest but

okay

let them Well they would fill as they

rested so technically speaking we're

both right still correct i don't want us

to be right here though it doesn't

doesn't really feel good so yeah he asks

his roommate for the assist in getting

some drugs um switch to Leslie's point

of view after the library she had dance

and Emily the girl that had been on

Mason's lap is in the dance program and

just like peak ultimate mean girl

decides to come up and start

[ __ ] and is just embarrassing Leslie in

front of everyone like just like oh you

think he'd really be into you like what

do you even have to like you're like why

are you walking up to this random you

sat on his lap once

What he's mine now yes like that level

of like Regina George mean girl

you You sat on this man's lap once and

you've never talked to this girl before

this is wholeheartedly unnecessary

yeah

um so after that class like after the

dance class when the girl was giving her

[ __ ] about Mason was then when she got

the text from Mason as well that was

like checking in on her and she's just

like "We're step siblings people like

I'm really not doing this with you."

Yeah this isn't This doesn't feel worth

it mhm um and

then while like when she gets back to

her dorm there's a knock on her door and

she like thinks it's Mason at first and

then when she opens it it's the creepy

RA and it's like 400 p.m and he's three

sheets to the wind yeah and so she's

like really uncomfortable and asks him

to leave and he's like "Oh like what are

you going to do like stick your brother

on me?" And she's like "I need you to

leave." Yeah and so he does but it's

it's not great and doesn't feel good

yeah and like she's just looking for

some comfort and like FaceTimes her mom

and like her mom and Paul are like in

the kitchen cooking together and it's

just like a sweet moment and Paul asks

if Mason has been helpful and she's like

"Okay like this is the moment like if I

like wanted to like tell if I wanted to

like destroy Mason's world like Right

this is the moment that I could tell our

parents and like [ __ ] his day up." Yeah

and she doesn't obviously yeah what i

was so surprised uh I think my notes

technically say she decides not to

mention the finger

[ __ ] I'll leave out the digital

penetration in the library i don't think

my parents need to know

about my stepbrother digitally

penetrating me between the stacks

yeah that feels like details we could

leave out for them

yes

boundaries great great boundaries yeah

that's one you don't need the detail on

that no you really don't um so it is

Wednesday which is the day that Leslie

will have class with Mason again and

she's feeling a bit nervy about all of

it and she runs into Lucy in the

bathroom who's like clearly like "You

good girl you need to talk?" Like "Yeah

I got a bottle of tequila in my room we

can trade secrets i got some secrets."

It does seem and I haven't looked uh for

as out of pocket as this book is will I

read other Joe Bunner books absolutely I

will and it there's several that I'm

like "Oh okay." There's like links of

like spin-offs or potential spin-offs

but I like didn't do a lot of research

into what spin-offs already exist but it

very much seems like Lucy and the

college hockey coach will have a

spin-off book if they probably already

do i haven't checked you know good for

them can't wait to find it if it exists

so we're we're doing an age gap trope

there I imagine

i Well with how this one's going we we

go at least five tropes deep yeah so

can't wait to see what will be added to

age gap

guardian okay trope yes um in class by

the time Leslie gets there Mason is

already there and so she goes and

sits far away yeah and he grabs all of

his stuff and gets up and goes to sit

immediately next to her which I'm like

Leslie how did you think that was going

to go baby girl yeah

this man is

unhinged and and we literally read a

book called Unhinged about a door that

[ __ ] a h like and that somehow felt

more believable than you thinking he

wasn't going to follow you zeus showing

up felt more believable zeus [ __ ] a

sacred tree and has a sensient door son

and I was like "Yeah I can I can believe

this more easily." Yes um so he hands

her he has a coffee cup for her and

she's like "What's this poison?" And

he's like "It's a lavender oat milk

latte," which is her favorite and then

he's like "I had to go to three shops to

find it for you." So he has these sweet

moments that

Yeah but it's like is going to three

shops for a latte

enough no not for me the answer is no

the answer is no leslie's bar might be

different than mine though and I can

respect that for

her i forgot what happened

next so in class she's sitting there

drinking her latte he's crowding her

space like they are their chairs are

right next to each other and he ends up

putting his hand up her shorts and like

teasing her throughout the class to the

point like she gets called on and his

hand is still in her pants and no one

notices no one has any idea that this is

happening this entire time what kind of

desks are these i have a lot of

questions i was like "Okay so it's not

like stadium seating." Yeah yeah yeah

unless the fronts are all covered

i've never had stadium seating like that

no it's always been like open

yeah so that was really the biggest

issue that I had with the whole scene

was you're telling me he finger blasted

her in a college English class sure she

got called on managed to answer a

question while your hand was still in

her pants and no one noticed the entire

time

okay yeah sure why not Mace yeah

absolutely uh she's right about to come

as class is ending and he's like "Oh

class is over." wipes his hand off and

is like "Don't come." Winks again "yes I

wink with my whole body i'm I'm learning

this about myself as I just winked at

you again." Oh [ __ ] learn something new

every day

so switch to Mason's perspective

now he absolutely drugged her latte i

was going to say he put that in her

latte which again I'm like "Okay so Oh

no no no no Hannah it gets worse oh good

good good before the semester started

she said "Save your outrage." Save your

outrage because before the semester

started over the summer he bribed campus

housing for her dorm number where he

then installed

cameras so he's been watching her this

whole time so let me guess she's now

Nope nope i'm not going to you just tell

me i'm just going to We're

not Yeah so she immediately like goes

back to her dorm and is a ball of need

but like the drugs are like such a

powerful aphrodesiac that like she's

like "As soon as I put my hand in my

pants I orgasmmed and was left

unsatisfied." And one of those where

she's like "I've been masturbating for

like an hour and just like my body still

kidnapped." That does not sound fun that

sounds [ __ ] miserable like truly

awful yes yeah so I'm like I don't think

I need that drug no thank you um but

also when Mason pulls up the cameras to

like see if she like made it back to her

dorm and like where she was at with the

timeline of like when the drug should be

the most potent and hitting he uh was

like just looking back through footage

and saw footage of the creepy RA and

he's like what the [ __ ] like he like the

RA clearly left but also clearly made

her uncomfortable and so he's like looks

like I'm going to need to have another

conversation with him sort of energy

yeah so then he takes off

to her room so after he's like "Okay

she's been masturbating for a very long

time she's probably ready for me at this

point tag me in coach." Like the book

says she's crying because she's been

going for hours and is still unsatisfied

this is like an omega heat yes yes but

he did this to her like that is really

without her consent yes and then watched

her be

tortured like

Well he shows up to help with you know

how kind

that's Mason for you such a giver

um he ends up taking her

virginity which she's gladly offering

him in this moment but like they [ __ ]

all night really leaning into the whole

daddy thing like she's only can't call

him Mason he's only daddy in the bedroom

okay

and I know we've talked about it on here

before but I always think of when I like

looked at my husband and I was like

"Would you want me to call you daddy in

the bedroom?" And he goes "Could you say

it with conviction?"

See I asked my husband that and he just

went "No."

[Laughter]

I feel like Vance is very much like I

try anything once can you say it with

conviction i need I need the answer to

that question before we can move

on generally Matt's game to try whatever

ridiculous scheme wherever I happen to

come up with anything but not that he

was like I don't think so no

I I've known you for a couple of years

now mhm a few just a few

there's not a bone in my body that can

see you calling someone daddy and mean

it that's more the issue I think than

Matt's energy it's me i'd be like "Sure

daddy."

Like

like code for punk ass [ __ ] like that

is how I would say

[Laughter]

it but the issue that I have here is

that he's 18 they are the same age okay

they are the same age

we've not established any kind of

anything in terms of like a consensual

BDSM even like top energy

there's been no conver real conversation

at any point except her saying I don't

want to do this with you and him being

like got it

got it but what if I try a little harder

but what if I drug

you let me try again

uh she crashes and then he like wakes

her up in the middle of the night and to

be like what's your darkest fantasy and

she's like being shared and he's like oh

I don't he's like pick a different

darkest fantasy he's like oh really

[ __ ] hell i'm a little too possessive

for that one and she passes back out uh

the next morning when she wakes up and

feels like she got hit by a semi and

she's like "Oh my god why do I feel so

horrific?"

To Mason's

credit he's like "Because I drugged

you." Good yeah he just straight up owns

it mhm

but like the the whole kind of

conversation about it in the book is

that

like the the vixen just helped get her

over the mental barrier to like get her

there sure is like how it she really did

want it the drug just enhanced the want

the pleasure was already there yeah you

get it exactly okay um so when he

confesses to putting the drugs in her

coffee she's like "I need you to leave."

And he's like "You want your daddy to

leave?" And she's like "You're not my

daddy." Like

the daddy runs strong and I just not in

a book there are so many books that have

daddy kings that I'm like "Yeah I can I

can get this." And this one I'm just

like "No I'm sorry my nephew is 17

what oh I didn't even think of it like

that yes like my nephew's Oh God i don't

I guess he's a junior i'm like he'll be

a senior next year and I'm just like no

i Because I know a few 18year-olds not a

lot but literally a few and they're all

pretty tall and they're just all elbows

and knees man like they are just all

elbows and knees

which is so funny cuz like I remember

like being 18 and being like they look

so strong and I'm like I know they have

[ __ ] string bean arms i'm like and I

married a man that they're like his

brute man strength showed up when he was

in like middle school i once saw four

people try and take my husband down

wrestling on a beach and he just walked

them into the ocean i was just going to

say he's huge like a guy came up to me

afterwards panting and he's like

Vance is real strong Chelsea

yeah I know mhm

mhm

but like I feel like everyone else you

look at at 18 and you're like it just

the strength hasn't come in the way you

think it has yet you haven't filled out

the way that you have in your mind yes

so much so god all right so it's now

been a week and Leslie is really

struggling well yeah yes she's like "I

[ __ ] my stepbrother." Not only did I

[ __ ] my step brother I lost my virginity

yep to my stepbrother

in a where like I kind of wanted it but

also like I didn't really like Yeah like

I didn't really consent and so just the

full mess that has come along with that

and her stomach has been in knots she's

not eating

um in class or no she goes to the

cafeteria that morning before class and

Mason is sitting there with some friends

and she just grabs like a banana and

some toast and he's watching her and she

like can like barely get the food down

yeah

dan and Mason text her and she's like

it's like going to be like a don't sit

next to him sort of text but the text

just says are you eating like are you

okay

like

okay yeah and and she's she's clearly

not right uh but also like also like her

blood sugar is now low to the point

where she's like out of sorts where

she's like she doesn't realize class

ended and she's just kind of still

sitting there and like the professor

walks up and is like are you okay and

Mason is like standing there as well mhm

she's like "I'm fine." Yeah and she like

tries to stand up gets dizzy immediately

kind of falls over so like Mason like

picks her up well and especially if

she's been dancing like if she's been

going to dance practice like that and

not eating like Yes so he ends up

carrying her across campus all the way

back to her dorm um not the infirmary

though not her dorm his dorm of course

yeah yeah not the infirmary because he

lays her down to take a nap on his bed

and then he's like "Okay I'm going to

make all of her favorite foods." cuz I

handed her mom this summer to like find

out what all of her favorite foods are

but I don't have the supplies for all of

them so he like orders groceries but

then he like can't find the ice cream

she wants so he like orders groceries

from three different grocery stores to

get everything and then I guess like her

favorite meal is like blackened chicken

fetuccini alfredo okay he like [ __ ] it

up and like Yeah destroys the chicken

like twi like has to make it three times

and it's like

it's a pure moment of actually seeing

you're like oh maybe this is the first

time you've actually done anything for

her look at us go we call this growth

so generous of you

they end up having a pretty good

heart-to-heart conversation uh she asks

him if the nude pics over the summer

like if that prank was his idea and he's

like "It wasn't." In fact I like broke

up with Piffany that day and I literally

haven't been talking to her since i've

made everyone delete the photos um she

tells him a little bit about her dad i

guess her and her mom were the side

family so she just like thought that

like her dad was always away on business

and had this super important job and

then found out that like oh no he has a

wife and a full other family and when it

all came out like chose his wife and

family yeah um and so I think that's

also where like Leslie's been frustrated

with Mason where he's like made a couple

digs about like her mom being a gold

digger or things like that and she's

like my mom deserves all of the

happiness in the world right quite

frankly so does your dad like after the

way y'all lost your mom so like [ __ ] you

like let them be happy like why are why

are we [ __ ] on other people's joy

like but then Mason is like I'll kill

your dad for you okay well and she's

like "You don't need to hurt anyone for

me." And he's like "But I no I'll do it

for you." And she's like "If you hurt

anyone for me I'm done." Like that's not

right this is a hard line buddy simmer

down you grew up in the BBS and drive a

Tesla how are you killing the Like what

is You're not a mobster like what is

your plan here

so I'll figure it out when I get there

right well and then he asks if she's

ready for ice cream she's like "I'm

full." And he's like "Okay then it's

time for your punishment." And she said

"My punishment?" He's like "For not

taking care of yourself stop and bend

over like a good girl." So then he's

spanking her gets the ice cream there's

some food play sure

too sticky

yes correct no do not put ice cream in

an orifice oh no no chocolate syrup no

no whipped cream aanu

i food play is not something that is

appealing at all just sounds like a

yeast

infection sorry

unless you're leaving a trail of Cheetos

for me and I don't think that's going to

have the sexual appeal you're looking

for

unless you are leaving jalapeno cheddar

Cheetos like rose petals

i can [ __ ] with that i know you can i

can work with that yeah but I feel like

most people aren't trying to use Cheetos

for seduction and that's their laws for

real oh my god

oh listen you can still lick the cheese

powder up if you need something to lick

better than a sticky chocolate syrup all

I'm

saying condiments have no place in the

bedroom

have you watched American Auto

no wait is that is that a sitcom yes

peacock yes i think I started the first

episode and I might have had had an

edible and I fell asleep and didn't

finish it should I finish it should I go

back i I very much enjoy it but there's

an episode where they get hacked but

they really only get the CEO's stuff and

she and her husband had been in like

couples therapy or something and they

had been trying to like spice up their

sex

life and the hacker puts up a photo of

her clearly masturbating and vaping in

the middle of a meeting and there's like

the corporate attorney behind them and

so she's on the phone with her husband

telling him that like all their pictures

got hacked and everything and the

husband is like "Even the mustard." And

she's like "Even the mustard Herald or

whatever the fucker's name

is." Mustard it's like "Even the

mustard." And then she's like in tears

and she's like "Mustard stains skin did

you know that?"

I highly recommend that show it's very

out of pocket

i'll have to circle back

but the mustard oh my god okay so the

food play is happening right and she's

also enjoying it but having a hard time

reconciling that she's enjoying it yeah

and he tells her that she's his and

he'll wait as long as needed for her to

understand that

um yeah like just like a you will you

are mine and however long like like it's

a little Stockholm syndromey but like

they Yeah they aren't in the same like

they she has her own dorm they they

don't live together yeah she can leave

of her own valition but apparently she

can't because he then like tells her

that she's like staying at his place for

the weekend okay

and then they just like [ __ ] all

weekend lots of orgasms sure yeah

uh he ends up dropping her at her place

and as she's going inside after this

like sex weekend yeah wonderful

reconciliation sex weekend where he

thinks everything is going great uh when

she's walking down the hall she sees the

RA and she's like "Oh hey Chris." And

then he like looks up and he's like

covered in bruises and she's like what

happened seriously yeah well and she's

like "Oh my god what happened?" And he's

like "Stay the [ __ ] away from me like

your stepbrother did this he was pissed

that you and I almost hooked up." She's

like "We didn't almost hook up." She's

like "When was that?" Yeah

you mean the night that you wouldn't

leave my dorm room when I asked you to

leave cuz you made me feel uncomfortable

we have different memories of how that

night went your definition of hooking up

and my definition of hooking up are

different yes and

so she like he's like "I need you to get

the [ __ ] away from me i don't want him

like coming after me again." So when as

she's like gets back into her dorm she's

sitting there and she's like "How would

he have known about that?" Like I didn't

tell him about Chris yeah i didn't tell

anyone that Chris showed up at my dorm

how would he have known he would have

had to have seen it how would he have

seen it and so then she starts looking

around her room and is like "Holy fuck."

And like found the first camera then

she's like "If there's one there's

more." So she spends the next hour and

finds like five other cam how big is

this dorm room i had some I was like

"How many different angles do you need?"

Like also most dorms are not uniquely

shaped like No it's pretty much a box

yes

so Mason calls her and she doesn't

answer and it sends it to voicemail and

he keeps calling her and she's not

answering and she just like gets in the

bed under the covers because she's like

there might be other cameras and I don't

want him to see so I'm going to hide

under my covers to cry yes the makings

of a healthy relationship um then she

hears her door unlock good because Mason

apparently has a [ __ ] key of course

he does why wouldn't he have a key he's

an 18-year-old alpha sex god

mhm sure he'll kill her dad and get a

key to her dorm what like good sir kill

her dad and get a key to

her oh he wants to know why she's not

answering and she's

like because of the cameras like this is

why I'm not answering like

like I'm real done with you dude i'm not

answering due to the stepbrotherness of

it all

like there's there's a couple reasons

that I'm I'm not really answering and

she's like I can't be with someone who

lies like I said if you hurt anyone I'm

I'm out and then you didn't tell me

you'd already hurt someone like not cool

and she's like I I can't be with someone

who would lie to me and he's not having

it but is eventually like and you'd

really hate me if I like didn't give you

a choice

so now we're giving her choices that's

cool well good and then he goes "Then I

guess it's goodbye." And she goes

"Goodbye

daddy." I'm

serious it's fine it's fine everything's

fine so then I don't know it's maybe

another week who the [ __ ] cares leslie

goes to ask her professor if she can

change partners for the project cuz

she's like I this ain't going to fly

yeah I can't do this and the professor

is

like no you got to like part of group

projects is learning to work with

different personal like sort of like

okay fine so like you don't understand

this man's stalking me and he drugged my

latte and this isn't and our parents are

married this isn't a different like

different personalities issue he wasn't

supposed to go here this is unsafe like

he he offered to murder my dad like he

got a key to my dorm he put [ __ ]

cameras in my dormer he made me call him

daddy i don't But I kind of like that

part that's also

conflicting there was ice cream i can't

I don't

know there was ice

cream yes just imagine telling your

college professor there was ice

cream so Leslie ends up reaching out to

Mason and is like "We need to to work on

the group project." And he's like "Okay

fine come over to my apartment." And

when she gets there he's looking pretty

beat up and he's like he he says he has

a rough day at practice cuz someone said

something he didn't like like alludes to

like defending her honor and asks if she

can grab the ice out of the fridge and

she's very happy to help move this ice

over his body to the different affected

areas you know

uh he asks how she's been and then very

quickly somehow she ends up pinned to

the couch getting spanked obviously yeah

do I I read it like three times and I

was like we this was like six sentences

how did we do that yes

like

she really is reconciling that she does

enjoy this which is you know the

difficult part of this book because

you're like "This is so unhealthy at

every level." Well I'm like "You can be

into that honey." But like maybe with

somebody who knows what they're doing

and and thinks your consent matters yeah

someone who's actually safe

yeah someone who you know when they ask

if you've eaten and if you're taking

care of yourself they care about you

like they're supporting you i mean he

made her the black and chicken Alfredo

yeah

we're That was the the the first moment

right we're trying so hard we really are

trying so hard Mason well so switch to

Mason's point of view he has been just

like waiting for her to reach out and

come back to him and he's like "She

needs time she's mine

if I she'll get I'm patient and yeah

play my cards right she'll she'll get

there she'll come back to me and so then

it says that he asked his roommate to

rough him up to look a little extra

pathetic

damn it Mason we were rooting for you i

wasn't

sorry you know that's probably the more

accurate response um I don't know why

I'm surprised by that turn of events

well and all right the level of delusion

here Hannah the quote she has to learn

how to forgive me for doing [ __ ] up

things in the name of her happiness

no you can't just kill her

dad you can't just murder

people yeah so then he like he keeps

spanking her and then she's saying she's

sorry to daddy for pushing him away and

I'm like once again it escalated like we

switched so quickly and then she's

telling him what happened to goodbye

daddy go back to that yeah go back to

goodbye daddy it's fine well so then she

tells him that like she's scared they

won't be accepted and he's like I I

think you need a distraction so then he

has her sucking him off which I'm like

that's not going to fix the underlying

issue that your step siblings like no

amount of [ __ ] changes that your

parents have a legally binding agreement

that's filed with the court system

have you considered that my dick is the

best distraction that there is have you

inspected it closely you should do that

now don't you understand i'm an

18-year-old alpha sex god

my dick is the pope he will bestow all

of the blessings upon you kiss the ring

babe

[Laughter]

so after she's sucking him off he tells

her to get on the couch face down ass up

and then Emory walks in their front door

because he's a roommate and Mason's like

"Just like I planned i'm giving her her

deepest darkest

fantasy so then he has her sit on his

dick while he while she sucks Emory

off emory finishes on her tits i don't

know it went from 6:00 to midnight she

was literally a virgin last

week

like what the [ __ ]

mason ends up after the sex shenanigans

takes her to the shower washes her off

but he like locks the door to the

bathroom and she's like "No you don't

want people to see me." And he's like

"Just to be very clear that was a

one-time thing." Like the one and only

time you will ever see another man's

dick it's giving Wolf Hotel

we should review Wolf Hotel you hate it

so much i'll outline it i know how much

you hate it i'll outline it should we do

all Well there's five cuz they did the

initial four box set then they released

a third a fifth one oh my god that was

not needed

respectfully Ka

Tucker I was good with the box set you

were not good with the box set you were

good with none of it i was going to

say

so yeah they end up talking in the

shower he confesses his love for her and

she's like "I don't forgive you for

everything that you've done i enjoy the

sex you are very hot and like I don't

forgive you." And he goes "I know i'm

not sorry for keeping you safe but I am

sorry for making you feel like your

feelings don't matter nothing matters

more."

What that's clearly untrue bud like your

Yeah your actions really don't align

with that yeah the show is not matching

the tell my guy no um Leslie ends up

having a girls night with Lucy and they

go hard on the bottle of tequila we

learn a little bit more about Lucy's

whole situation where I guess her

parents passed away her father was the

coach's the hockey coach's mentor and

when she when the parents passed away

they made him the guardian oh

yeah so that seems to be whatever

spin-off will be happening is that that

trope situation

um but also as Leslie's like confessing

to Lucy she's like "He's my my

stepbrother." Lucy's like seem fine and

clueless i don't

know yes when Paul Red is your step

brother i was going to say when Paul

reads your stepbrother it doesn't

count and I feel like Mason would say

when your stepbrother's an 18-year-old

alpha sex god it doesn't count either

it's fine um and Lucy kind of asked

she's like "So are these

hurdles with you and Mason are they deal

breakers or are they just hurdles?" Yeah

and like Leslie like is like you know

they're they're just hurdles like

they're not deal breakers i do love him

too okay yeah yeah um so then Mason

shows up sure just to because he missed

her and they

are five sheets to the wind they are

fully fully plastered yeah and so he

ends up taking like Lucy stays in uh

Leslie's dorm for the night and he takes

Leslie back to his place and she pukes

several times on the like and he just

does nothing but take care of her and

rub her back and get her ibuprofen and

electrolytes and

is is kind and sweet and does what you

would want a stepbrother boyfriend to do

for you step brother

um and the next morning she's hung over

but they they have a little bit of a a

heartto-he heart again before she goes

back to her dorm um she's agreed to go

to his practice later okay which I don't

I think it's the first time she's like

going to one of his practices so he's

excited about that um and but he's also

like "If I didn't think that she was

like so close to confessing her love for

me I wouldn't have even let her leave my

apartment." What like sir that's not how

relation No stop that's not how any of

it works it's not how it should work but

apparently it is how it works for Leslie

as well okay um so at hockey

practice Leslie is late and he's getting

like more and more frustrated that she

hasn't shown up yet and then suddenly he

sees Emily the girl that had randomly

been on his lap and she's like wearing

his jersey and like walking down like

trying to say hi to him and like "Hi

baby." And like tries to like touch him

and he like grabs her like wrist to stop

her from touching

him and she is straight up like what are

you even seeing Leslie and like what

like girl you have had like two

conversations with this man to be fair

it sounds like he's only had five

conversations with Leslie

but you've only had like two

conversations with it like we're going

real hard right now where is this

delusion coming from yeah um and so then

as that's happening Leslie starts to she

gets there and is walking down and is

like "Hey Emily like I know you and I

are never going to be best friends but

like we can be civil but part of that

like you need to stop harassing my" and

then like catches herself and she's like

"You need to stop harassing Mason." And

like Mason's a little sad because he was

hoping that she was going to like

claim him claim him and my boyfriend

whatever and Emily chooses violence

again once again why she feels this

strongly about Mason is beyond

me but her response to Leslie is "Who

you calling a harasser you brother

fucker?" Good yes

what way to deescalate the situation

Emily

oh and Mason just like immediately looks

at Leslie and is like "Are you okay?"

And she's like "No like I'm not having a

good time." Yeah

which correct answer i don't know if

anyone is okay in that moment and so

then Mason tries to like start

intervening and is like starting to like

lay in to Emily and then Leslie has a

moment and she's like "No I've got this

like I can stand up for

myself."

Okay fine it's the whole like female

empowerment like monologue cat fight

whatever my exact notes say female

empowerment monologue ending with "Yes

he's my stepbrother." And maybe that

makes me a stepbrother [ __ ] but you

know what i don't step brother [ __ ]

care so she publicly announces her love

for him and then he takes off his jersey

and he's like "Butterfly you better

always be wearing my number and my name

when you're in this building." And then

he picks her up and carries her back to

the locker room sure because daddy needs

a little time with her [ __ ]

sure yeah good they're [ __ ] He pulls

out because he tells her he has a little

treat in store because also he brought

supplies for

anal like he brought like an extra I'm

like she lost her virginity like 10 days

ago good sir you have like a vibrator in

your hockey bag just in case this

happened he also not only has supplies

for anal he has an engagement

ring and so he's like withholding her

orgasm and she's like "Please daddy like

let me come." As he's now in her ass

when once again she was a virgin you'll

marry me and I'll let you come is that

where we're going like please daddy let

me come what will you give daddy

anything and then he pushes him balls

deep as he grabs the ring box she

screams as she orgasms "Yes I'll marry

you." And then he said "Daddy's going to

fill his wife's little ass up with his

cum." Yeah so that happened right okay

and then the team the team is banging on

the locker room doors they're on a

They're They need to get back in there

as well i need my water bottle yes jesus

damn it Mason we've talked about this

have to pee oh my god well and so Mason

like goes to unlock the door and the

team comes in and the coach is like "Get

your girlfriend out of here bro." And

he's like "That's my fiance and keep

your eyes to yourself." And the coach is

like "You're a [ __ ] idiot." Like

literally dude like you banged her in

the locker room bud we all know what she

sounds like when she comes that was also

how you proposed get her out you're 18

and you've been in college for a month

i also I'm like with what job so daddy's

credit card like how the [ __ ] did you

buy this ring

so have you seen the show St dennis

Medical yes i love St dennis Medical

have you seen the episode where the guy

puts the engagement ring on his penis

because that's all I'm thinking about

right now

that was a very funny episode very good

yes my favorite is the poor sweet very

young nurse who's trying to be very

professional and he asks for the doctor

to come in and help and the doctor comes

in and is like "Oh my

god." Is that your [ __ ] dick dude

and honestly though that's the mark of

someone who's new in the field and

someone who's been around for a while

because you're like "We don't need to

pretend to be professional in a

situation when this is [ __ ]

there's the circulation to your dick is

currently being cut off we just need to

call a spade a spade like all the hot

dogs."

Again highly recommend

um also in that conversation the coach

is like like looks at Leslie and is like

"If you keep an eye on Lucy we'll call

it good." Like something where you're

like "Okay they're clearly getting a

spin-off." Once again it probably

already exists

um so after that it we now skip to the

first game of the season okay where

Leslie is anxiously awaiting her mom and

Paul's arrival because Mason is on the

hockey team so they're going to go

support him at his game um and when

Mason gets tagged in he's playing

fantastic like scores a hattick

very casually i'm like "Yes sure." Of we

second stringer coming in

nailed it you get it yeah um and

Leslie's cheering for him and like at

one point she shouts like "Yeah baby."

And they're like "Baby huh?" And then

her mom

sees the ring and is like "What's that?"

And she's like "An engagement ring." And

she's like "Who you engaged to?" Awkward

and she just like doesn't really answer

and just keeps watching the hockey game

and then her mom's like "Who are you

engaged to?" And then Paul is like "Baby

we already know this isn't this isn't

subtle they're 18 and very stupid well

and then but like Paul looks at Leslie

and he's like I don't know what my son

did to you but like I'll make it right

and

like leaves the stands

and so then we switched to

Mason and he's in the hall before the

third period talking to his dad and his

dad's like "Are is this like are you

rebelling because I got remarried?" And

Mason's like "It's not about you also we

both lost mom and she makes me happy

like you found your happiness why can't

I have my happiness?" And his dad is

like

"Well if y'all are happy then we'll I'll

learn to accept it."

And

then they play the third period and TABU

wins 15-3 and Mason scored the final

goal and at the end of the game 15

15-3 I think against

Cornell cornell get a better hockey team

i don't This isn't 15 yeah i'm like I've

never been at a hockey game

where they scored more than like eight

and that was like pretty intense yeah

also at a professional level right it's

al it's not like one team is in the NHL

and one is like a street youth team like

15 to three did feel a bit it's like

dad's playing hockey like

no like a pickup game with buddies like

no no no

just like a collegiate pickup game it's

fine yeah so they win 15 to three and

then

Leslie runs onto the rink and jumps in

his arms and he skates around with her

in his arms as they celebrate the win

and that's the end of the book that's

the whole book yeah no epilogue that's

no epilog full stop

okay all right m

but I'm also not going to lie the whole

time I was reading it I was just going

"What the fuck?" But I couldn't

stop i'm in it now like this [ __ ] is

[ __ ] what are they going to do next oh

he's going to put cameras up next didn't

see that one coming obviously oh he's

going to pretend that he got beat up at

hockey to gain sympathy from her

like I don't know if they're dating by

sophomore year

it's definitely going to ruin their

parents' marriage for sure poor Paul and

Anna innocent bystanders in all of this

very much so

yeah so what point shoes hockey sticks

what what butterflies

yeah I guess i Yeah I

three for every month they've known each

other like is

that so six

oh my god oh my gosh okay yeah so

butterflies let's

go out of 18

sure sure that feels just as gross as

the whole thing really i might go

with

seven

six between six to eight lower than

50% but I couldn't look away Hannah i

couldn't

stop and if you're willing to suspend

all of your beliefs about everything

i'm like this is ridiculous that the

entertainment value is high yes yes I

see it entertainment value is very high

but like it's so many tropes yeah it's a

lot of tropes like you have

stalker step sibling uhhuh bully

hockey college

and I feel like I'm probably still

missing one well and daddy i mean

yeah six right there

so it's a

journey it's messy

i I didn't find

myself rooting for

them but I do ultimately hope they're

okay

hope they get into some therapy

yeah both individual and couples

potentially maybe start with individual

yeah start with individual before before

couples in this situation

i think you both have some things you

need to process a little bit a few a lot

yeah it's fine everything's fine

but like he does so much [ __ ] up [ __ ]

yeah

yeah mhm and apparently he is that much

of a sex god because the orgasms are

enough that she just like literally

overlooks all of it

yeah okay but it's also

like how I Met Your Mother where it's

like "Oh college Lily thought those were

orgasms."

Like okay she's never had one before

like maybe well and I'm just like I know

we've said this before the person I

thought I was going to marry when I was

thank God like wish you well but not for

me right uh-uh and I'm just like

uhoh oh maybe that's why there's no

epilogue

you guys you don't want to know like it

didn't go well that's Joe's way of

saying like we're just going to leave it

here

unfortunately yes you don't want more

information yeah um okay yeah like

seven seven yeah seven out of 18 18

feels accurate the entertainment value

was high but also you have to suspend a

lot of belief and get real cool with a

lot of [ __ ] real quick and if that's not

where your head is at then this is not

the book to pick up yeah yeah if it is

where your head is at if you can match

Mason's

Freak I cannot no no no my moral compass

is maybe a little too ingrained to Yeah

just a little bit different you know mhm

we have different true norths there you

go that's okay yeah everyone has their

true north right so seven out of 18

butterflies mhm mhm that's a lot of

wings but sure yeah 14 wings yeah yeah

out of 36 look at my math not bad not

bad i've been practicing i haven't i

should though my math is not great uh

all of all of the 14 butterfly wings

seven butterflies total let us know what

you would rate this if you would use a

different rating system mhm how how you

feel about the journey that we just went

on cuz I really have so many mixed

feelings about it and would love to hear

everyone else's thoughts as well don't

forget to like subscribe comment um

please please please send us your

recommendations we always look forward

to knowing what what y'all would like us

to review because Hannah read 300 books

last year i did it's good to have some

guidance on what to review that's too

many to choose from decision paralysis

y'all

like if someone could just tell me

please i read too many i read too much

all right all that said we can't wait to

see you until next time yep that didn't

[ __ ] bye mud [ __ ]

well that's it for this week Smud [ __ ]

we hope it was good for you cuz it sure

was great for us if you're digging what

we're doing it would mean a lot if you'd

take a minute to rate and review the

show wherever you're listening right now

maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us

an ear we love you we appreciate you and

we'll see you next week stay spotty

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