Smut Club

well

hello all you beautiful people

you know what time it is

[Music]

ladies and gents

guys and dolls and everyone in between

gather round

get you something real nice to sip on

and comfy to slip on

because it's time

for smut club

here's your hosts chelsea and hannah

[Applause]

[Music]

hello and welcome to smut club i'm

hannah i'm chelsea

um we're here

to drink and talk about the smutty books

that we read

so we assume that you are here because

you like one of those two activities if

not both

or maybe you're just entertained by our

tipsy ramblings or you know maybe you're

just a friend of ours doing us a solid

and listening to the episode and we're

glad you're here too too shout out to

drew cause i have a feeling this might

be you listening

yeah

so we appreciate all of you being here

to join us as we choose

the next smutty book to review tonight

is going to be a fun episode because

tonight is a joint review woohoo

we are going back

to our girl jan

j.s guy hell yeah [ __ ] jan she's

somehow both the best

and the worst the absolute worst but

like

i can't stop

i am

i would say low-key but that would be a

lie i'm high-key obsessed with jan i am

obsessed with jan

and the potential that she is a bot and

not a real person and

what what percentage like

do you think like what percent chance

are you like she might be about

they might be a bot

like

i don't know what bots gender pronouns

like 35 65.

in in which direction like 35 she's a

bot

okay that's fair i might

i was about to say 45 65 and then i

realized

i'm really shitty at math

okay so like i might up that to like 40

60. okay okay

um because i do feel like one

this is

one word document that jan started

this billionaire series on and then she

just

does

um control f

and then finds all of the names

so like

the from the first book sarah she just

did control f whatever the the function

is on her computer and then replaced all

of sarah with mara yep and then replace

dante

with jared and then just change like a

couple of things along the way but it

also kind of feels like the thing that

i'm like

i feel like if you gave a bot a little

direction

it might accomplish

this the very same the very same so we

sell that

to now tell you the book we actually are

reviewing because i realized we didn't

get there yet we are reviewing the

forbidden

billionaire and i just want to throw out

there because i have at this point read

enough j.s scott to frankly be

embarrassed by the amount of j.s scott

that i have read

and

none of the titles make any sense

but also like i think what i don't get

is that

the forbidden billionaire has

4.17 stars with

11.5 000

ratings on goodreads and i read this and

i'm like i don't

i don't know how how we got

that rating but it's not a rating i

would give but let's i mean the names

and other books in this series if you

remember the first book that we reviewed

was no ordinary

billionaire because that was dante

the billionaire

detective from la that's the homicide

detective um we have this one the

forbidden billionaire then we're going

to get the billionaire's touch then the

billionaire's voice then the billionaire

takes all then the billionaires secrets

and from there we get into only a

millionaire oh [ __ ] we downgraded we did

yeah

do they lose their fortune i guess i'll

have to read the series you'll see i

have read that novella and you'll find

out

oh really

then there's another series in which we

have endeared enchanted enamored

entangled ensnared

we also have billionaire undercover

billionaire unexpected

billionaire unnoticed

i just i feel like i want to live in the

world that j.s scott lives in where

there's just all of these billionaires

running amok so here's the thing here's

the other thing so i i started the

she has a billionaire's obsession series

that is 18 books 18 books you shut your

mouth i will not i know i say that at

least once an episode you shut your

mouth when you're talking to me

how 18 is it all right is it is it 18

like stand-alones in the same universe

yeah okay yeah

and um i read the last three first

when you finish

the billionaires from aimsport maryland

you'll get to why i wound up with the

last three first of billionaires

obsession series

and then i went back and started at the

beginning

they're from tampa they live in

tampa florida

so something to know

um

hannah and i

are both from florida um we both

got out of florida hell yeah and

we both hold this like weird tension

where like we can talk [ __ ] about

florida but we feel very like defensive

and protective of it

and another right like there are so many

stories and i'm like oh

someone threw another alligator through

a fast-food window drive-through that's

florida for you but then on the other

hand if like if my husband were to be

like i saw this story about florida i'd

be like [ __ ] you you are not from

florida mind your business you are not

allowed to say that

and

i think that might upset my husband

sometimes but like there are things that

like i don't know all right hannah and i

grew up with the stingray shuffle hell

yeah

you knew if you went into the ocean you

needed to shuffle your feet to make sure

that the stingrays felt your vibrations

and then they would go away and not

sting your ass because

if you did not get stung you at least

had one experience growing up where a

friend of yours got stung because they

didn't do the stingray shuffle and you

know who didn't do the stingray shuffle

my youth pastor in high school

actually middle school his name was

harvey he was a very nice guy very small

um

south asian man nice love him to pieces

but yeah he was leading the trip and he

got stung and i was like it's because

you're not from here you clearly don't

know the way see my youth pastor's name

was scooby and he did know the shuffle

because he was from florida and his name

was scooby no one is surprised he's from

florida

yeah

yeah that's totally fair but we also

know things like the pressure points on

a gator that when you're doing a gator

show you know which points the gator

wrangler are gonna hit in order to make

the gator

like subdued to do all the things they

do with the gator well yeah like we just

innately know we just met a

all of the force of a gator snap is in

its top jaw

and so once it's closed if you can get

your hands around it you're golden it's

not really going to reopen

um and then also if you can get it on

its back there's this weird like

equilibrium thing yep and you can like

actually rub a belly like a a gator's

belly if you wanted i wouldn't be

totally clear don't so far well yes

don't but so far i am currently reading

the fourth book that is set in tampa

so far there are no gators

or stingrays well has j.s scott ever

been to okay what is in the book

because there are a lot of other things

that happen in tampa that might be

present

not a lot and frankly the density of

billionaires that she tries to convince

me of

the density the density of billionaires

like the number number of billionaires i

was like are they large

the number of billionaires that she

tries to convince me are in tampa

florida tampa florida like

i just don't

it's really difficult for me to

acknowledge that also if you hear any

rumblings in the background it's my dog

brandon

you you know him you love him you love

to get annoyed by him he has no chill he

just wants to play all the time and has

no boundaries

so

he had a toy that several days ago i put

some food treats in

and i think he is now

licking the inside hoping to get

remnants because he's trying

he is a chunky boy he's not afraid to

search for those calories wherever he

can get them he's doing what he can do

but anyway we are not on the tampa

florida

billionaires yet we are we'll have to

get there because

represent the hometown

now all i can think of is a day to

remember

like

this is where we're from

you know

that's a you win the day to remember i

went magic mike

um because straight up i remember

watching magic mike which also

whoever colored that movie

please talk to me because i have a lot

of questions about your decisions it was

very oversaturated and i have a lot of i

really have a lot of opinions on it um

but there's a scene where i'm like oh

that's the bricks i love the bricks

that's an e-boar i love that place and i

was like damn it why do i recognize

restaurants in magic mike by name and i

was like because i'm from florida and i

need to embrace this part of myself

we acknowledge and accept florida my

best friend just told me

well not just

she recently so her and her husband and

their children had been talking about

moving to north carolina

from florida no she is from florida left

florida met her husband in montana

okay they ended up in texas

i was living in texas at the same time

for a little while so we got to like

reconnect there which was super fun and

then i moved to tennessee

and she stayed in texas and is still

there but has moved from dallas down to

lake san antonio i'm not giving her a

dress i realize this is sounding creepy

and i'm getting a lot of details um and

so her and her husband have always

wanted to live in like the appalachian

mountain region okay and so they were

gonna move to north carolina and then

they decided that they wanted to move

back and be close to family because they

went down and like my best friend's

brother recently had a kid and you know

all this good stuff but she's now going

to be moving back to our hometown

which

i our we we had a great hometown but

it's also one of those things that like

as a whole with florida i think we kind

of felt like we made it out and now

she's moving back which like now that

gives me a larger incentive to go back

no offense to the rest of my family who

still lives in florida i love you and

you're good enough reason on your own

so now i'm just like reconciling as my

best friend is like i think i'm i left

and i did the thing where like we grew

up in a great place and then i left and

i did my thing and now i'm coming back

to raise my children in that same place

and like the cycle continues no

and i am really excited for her as she

goes on this journey and to visit her on

the journey and to not live there

on the journey yeah i can respect that i

grew up in a different part of florida

and it was not a great place to grow up

and i

i would rather scoop out my eyeballs

with a fork well

i just want to be clear

i grew up on the north side of pinellas

county which when white flight happened

they all went to the north side of

pinellas county um so i would like to be

like i'm just i'm just owning my

upbringing in that capacity um owning

some of the schools that i went to sort

of experiences i had in my early

childhood were not necessarily as

culturally diverse as i would like or as

i would like my future children's too

um we damn we have really gone on a

[ __ ] floor

[ __ ] tangent and we're not in florida

yet in the forbidden billionaire we are

still in american

maine not amesbury i always want to say

amesbury and i have no idea why no so we

are in aims port maine

with the sinclair billionaires yes those

billionaires that's how they describe

them in the book sinclair billionaires

the east coast because that matters

eventually if you

read on and read more of j s scott you

will discover there are west coast

sinclairs it's a whole thing it's very

much a journey

we maybe we'll get there but presently

we are still east coast

sinclair billionaires and we open the

forbidden billionaire

with jared our main man mm-hmm

drunk who is skunk let's also note

jared our main man is as he's jared

sinclair

and so his brother is dante sinclair who

was the homicide detective

billionaire from the first book who

ended up with his doctor sarah we have

already reviewed that one so go back and

listen if you are forgetting it or if

you're curious but also if it made you

sad

that is

also not surprising um none of it's

surprising no none of it is surprising

so this is this book is about

one another sinclair sibling jared

sinclair and in our prologue we do open

up and he is drunk off his ass yep so he

wakes up and he's like

well i [ __ ] hate that the whole being

awake and lucid thing

not a fan and he

he talks about some like guilt he's

feeling and some shame and he's like i'm

basically the worst and i hate myself

i'm just gonna drink until i pass out

again and that's the prologue basically

and um so jared is the youngest brother

he is not the youngest sibling they do

have a younger sister

um but he is the youngest brother is

where does grady go oh oh oh evan grady

dante jared hope

okay so the five east coast i don't know

why i felt like i needed to like raise

my east coast we're going up and octave

east coast um

so the east coast sinclair's we we have

evan is the oldest

and then great

dante jared and then hope

yes so

evan has not had a book yet he will be

the next grady was technically the first

book he was the billionaire's christmas

which was a prequel novella to this

whole deal that is happening here in

amesport

then we have dante which we've already

reviewed and then jared which we are

currently reviewing and then

hope which i believe and then we get

into evan and then evan [ __ ] so evan is

the

four

the third book third

fourth if you count the novella if you

count the novella he's the fourth but if

you

aren't aware that the novella exists

then he is the third and the rest of

this series gets into like their east

coast cousins yes correct so

evan drunk is a skunk

or not evan jared drunk is a skunk

living his life hating it a lot but like

you don't know why he hates it but like

you can like you know he's tortured by

something

but you don't fully know what he's

tortured by at this time you will find

out what he is tortured by but like yeah

just

hold on a minute

you'll we'll get there

um so then we open and

um there is a

doll maker

yep you have mara

not to be confused with sarah not not

sarah this is mara she goes with jared

sarah goes with dante classic mix-up

so mara and jared um mara is a doll

maker that is her full-time job somehow

she pays her bills but barely by doing

this and the book opens with her being

sad and going for a walk on the beach

yep to really just feel her sadness and

think her thoughts and feel her feelings

and then jared sees her walking down the

beach sad and is like i should go talk

to her yep so he follows her onto the

beach she's sitting on a rock or

somewhere like near the water she's

getting very wet there is like wa like

rain happening

[Laughter]

there is

water from the sky otherwise known as

rain happening yeah

and so he

rolls up and is like what are you doing

out here honey like this is not a good

look he takes her glasses off her face

which she does often and cleans them for

her and then puts them back on her face

and his as someone who has worn glasses

like

it's very intimate

don't touch my [ __ ]

like i've all right so this is another

tangent in third grade i lied

to get glasses

um i

i thought the cool kids had glasses i

thought if i had glasses that would make

equal plot twist

not having glasses wasn't why i wasn't

cool

but i lied to get glasses um so in the

future i don't know if i permanently

[ __ ] up my vision or if i just needed

them in the future but i do very much

need glasses now and like now my glasses

are like it's not just like i need

glasses they're like you have

astigmatism

and

your eyes are bow legged which

was not their medical that was not their

medical terminology but essentially i'm

like the opposite of cross-eyed like if

you look at me like my eyes look normal

so you don't really like see i don't

think anything's weird but i do need

prism in my lenses to like correct it

some and then every other eye doctor i

see tells me i need bifocals so that's

always a fun journey nice um

but yes all this to say i've worn

glasses for a long [ __ ] time

and it would feel intimate to me now if

my husband noticed my glasses were dirty

and just took them off my face to clean

them let alone a stranger on the beach

like that i don't really know who just

saw i was sad and followed me into the

rain who's like let me clean your

glasses but like doesn't even say it

just grabs him like i don't feel good

about it no i'm not a fan of that

intimate moment he does know her because

he has been into her shop because jared

sinclair

wants to know more about the history of

aimsport and mara's family has been

there for generations and she knows a

lot about the history

so he has gone to her multiple times to

get

information about the history of his

family in aimsport and also worth noting

the doll that this the store where mara

sells her dolls is also her home yes and

so her family apparently never has had a

real lease we'll get to that in a second

and like they're just like month to

month here but has like been there for

like a long long long long last time

it's like the house she grew up in even

though it's only been month to month but

it use the property used to be owned by

sorry

you did and i loved it i haven't been

drinking that much i swear to god but

believe me or don't it's it's cool so

the

historic

home where mara has her doll shop used

to be owned by the sinclair family at

some point in time even though mara has

lived in this house her entire [ __ ]

life for generations and we really need

to know that yeah her grandmother her

mother and now her

have lived in this home and run this

doll shop so she's on the beach she's

crying and jared's like what's wrong

tell me what's wrong and i'll fix it

and he

he

describes this like possessive instinct

that he's like gonna kill whoever has

upset her which is a little extreme

right like for someone who's like only

had passive interactions with this woman

to be like i saw her on the beach crying

i'll kill whoever upset her i'm like

whoa bro let's let's reign that in a

smidge

especially because then like what she

tells us and like what we learn is her

mother died a year ago yep of cancer

cancer yeah

she had mara had had to drop out of

school to be able to take care of her

mother and then like took over running

the doll shop and so like this is her

life because

her mother has now passed away and she

her entire life was built on taking care

of her mother and running this doll shop

yes and she has just found out that

her landlord has decided to sell the

house

and she is being evicted from her home

and also is going to have to close the

doll shop because

um

because it's it's being sold essentially

and the house is in disrepair there are

a lot of leaks in the roof um no

maintenance has really been done on the

house because the landlord is like i

don't really give a [ __ ] at this point

i don't care

and jared is very troubled by that that

she's living in this house where the

roof leaks and there are a lot of issues

with it well and jared is like a

billionaire real estate mogul and he's

like we'll find you a new place and like

your place isn't safe i'm like i know

because i'm an architect but it's also

like

i don't know i felt like it was a little

invalidating of her experience to be

like it wasn't safe i'm an architect and

she's like cool it's my childhood home

that's being sold and now i have to

leave

aimsport because i have no place here

anymore right like that's traumatic in

itself yes

and so

he this is from like his point of view

kind of it's not first person but it it

does flash back and forth between his

point of view and her point of view like

every couple paragraphs we go between

the two yeah and he walks her back to

her house he's like it's not safe to be

out on the beach right now because

there's a storm coming in

let me walk you home

and then he like pins her against a wall

and is like you're super hot and she's

like you are full of [ __ ] because i'm

not in fact i put the quote down because

please i feel like this is how jan

describes all of her [ __ ] heroines

and i'm like jen jan why are you

[ __ ] on your women because like

mara straight up said she's like in case

you haven't noticed i'm too plump and

short and plain i think i might be i

actually might be paraphrasing but

that's what i've written down but like

it was very much he's like oh like

i'm so into the and she's like like i'm

i'm too short and i'm too plump and i'm

too plain and he's like

you're exactly the type of woman a man

wants beneath him naked and i'm like hey

so you just you've had minimal

interactions with this woman just saw

her crying

on the beach followed her to the beach

and was like oh kill whoever did this

and then she was like i am getting

evicted and he's like we'll find your

new house your house isn't safe i'm an

architect and then he like pins her

against the wall

and then she's like i'm too plain for

you to want me and he's like you're

exactly who a man wants underneath you

and i've

yeah that's i that's that's pretty much

chapter one

but the end of chapter one does end on a

plot twist which we do not see

really come to fruition in the storyline

until the end but at the very end of

chapter one we find out

that the person buying mara's house is

indeed jared uh oh so

jared is the reason she is

getting kicked out of her home losing

her home and she does not know yes

losing her home and her business

so then i believe we're at the farmer's

market

not quite to the farmers market yeah

um because lest we forget sarah and

dante from the first book in this series

no ordinary billionaire they're getting

married right so mario

mara is best friends with kristin who is

sarah's

medical admin yeah medical assistant um

dr sarah

has

i don't know her [ __ ] last name

dr sarah which feels about as

professional as she is in the first book

if we're being completely honest

her medical assistant admin assistant

whatever you want to call her um was

supposed to be responding to the wedding

kristen kristen broke her foot or some

[ __ ] i don't fully remember it broke her

ankle i guess yes and so

mara they're like oh mara you have to

step in to be a bridesmaid and can you

do us this favor so then mara is

suddenly in sarah and dante's wedding

and they're like oh that means you'll be

like standing with jared yeah and mara's

like i don't know you

but i feel pressured to do it because

all these women there's like four or

five of them are sitting there looking

at her like you're the answer to our

conundrum and she's like oh and she's

like yes i am

and you're like okay cool cool cool i

guess we're we're doing this we're not

we're going for it okay but now we're at

the farmer's market now we're at the

farmer's market

so

we learn not only does mara make dolls

for a living she is also very

accomplished at making jams and fudge

and she likes toffee coffee

candies i think it was toffee you are

correct and so she sells her jams and

her candies at the farmer's market yeah

she does but hey

but she can only really make so much

because

she's also making dolls right she's a

busy woman she's a busy woman and so

jared finds out she works at the

farmer's market selling these these

items and like decides to show up at the

crack at on but then like on his way to

mara i was about to say sarah but it's

mara it's mara now we're on

so on his way to mara um

beatrice and elsie yes so beatrice is

the town psychic that i believe we sort

of referenced in our review of no

ordinary maybe who

it's a crap shoot with this series

there's a lot happening like y'all

there's so much happening so so beatrice

is the town psychic she's in her 80s she

runs like a crystal shop like a healing

sort of situation and just as an aside

and a shout out to the consecrated

crystal hey

nicole we love you and everything you do

we have a friend named cole who runs a

shop calls the consecrate called the

consecrated crystal which is really

difficult to say actually

uh well we have been drinking

the concept like that nicole that's not

on you that's really user error on our

end like no shame on on the name yeah

the consecrated crystal we love nicole

follow her on tick tock she does

incredible live sales

she also much like bota box she doesn't

sponsor us

um but maybe someday but she she's

probably more willing to than photo box

as well at this point

yes we love nicole and the consecrated

crystal she has incredible products so

if you are ever needing any any crystals

she is your girl speaking of the word

products

i just have to say

by the end of this book the word

products had lost all meaning to me

because it was said so much and you will

understand why yes once you understand

the nature of the products mara sells

with her jams and toffees and candies

and whatever the [ __ ] she sells also

referred to as her edibles and there's

no marijuana in them there's no thc in

them but they are referred to as edibles

at multiple points so beatrice and elsie

run into jared when he's perusing the

farmer's market before it's even open

just like trying to like honestly get

tomorrow yes and

they're like here's a crystal for you to

keep in your pocket and we know your

soulmate your soulmate that will heal

you is mara

yes so beatrice tells him that her

spirit guides have told her that mara is

the one for him

beatrice has already given mara an

apache tears crystal that matches

jared's and he's like okay thank you

like you're old and crazy bye

and carries on to mara's stand where he

samples her products and is like holy

[ __ ] products

it's like holy [ __ ]

he just tries to jam and then he tries

one of the like saltwater taffys or

something and he's like this is [ __ ]

amazing i'm buying out your stand right

now

i'm buying everything that you have to

offer today

and you are spending the day with me yes

that was a big thing because he's like

spend the day with me and she's like i'm

literally at the farmer's market to work

and he's like not if i buy all of your

product

product

is being our operative word here so

he buys all out all of her jam that's

not a euphemism and her taffy's

taffy's

is that like did she make toffee or

taffy i don't [ __ ] know dude does it

matter i honestly just realized there

was a difference between the two

it's her consumable product yes she her

her jams and her other products

and

but he also was like

i want to invest in this as a company

and i i'll only take 10

and unlimited product which for a

billionaire angel investor that's a damn

good deal to be on the receiving end of

for sure and mara's like

no like you're cheating yourself that's

not comfortable for me also you didn't

ask me to spend the day with you you

just demanded so maybe try asking like a

person instead of demanding like an

[ __ ] like honestly there are moments

where i really enjoy mara's backbone but

there are a lot of moments where i'm

like i wish that backbone were stronger

for sure because there are moments where

i'm like girl believe in yourself the

way i believe in you but then there are

moments where i'm like yes way to say no

you you didn't ask you told me so i will

do that when you ask me and i can tell

you my response which i'm like yes queen

live your truth

but then there are moments where i'm

like

it feels like you're not living your

truth as much here yeah yeah so he does

he he says will you

instead of asking like and then they

make out in her truck they do and he

gets very handsy and yeah he smacks her

ass like substantially he does he's very

into it and she's like um my ass is too

big and you're doing the most right now

and i'm not into it right but that's

like her insecurities because like on

one hand she's like you need to ask me

to spend the day with you not tell me

but then on the other hand she's like my

ass is too big to be smacked and i'm

like what the actual [ __ ] she's a larger

target babe like why are we anything

it's more smackable better this way yeah

it's more smack i've never met a man

who's like i wish she had less ass

just saying no

no

no

so my sister my younger sister recently

got engaged right yes and um thank you

um for her i guess so she proposed to

her girlfriend her girlfriend said yes

and i immediately started planning the

wedding and i told her that uh she would

be in and i i i'm fully aware that my

intentions for her wedding are not gonna

come to fruition

but i'm really enjoying the fantasy of

what i'm creating in my mind so i told

her that she would be wearing a tuxedo

built for a 12 year old boy

because that's how she's built like

that's just the body type that you know

and she owns right honestly that's the

body type that it seems all of the women

in a js scott novel want they're all

like i'm too curvy i'm too plum they're

like i want to be smart i'm like you

know what it sounds like you want the

body of a 12 year old boy so your sister

is killing the game she's nailing it

right now and i was like and you know

what i will be in a

tuxedo built for a 16 year old boy with

a dump truck ass because that's how i'm

built

honestly i see it though thank you i

would also like to know while we were

recording i was sitting on the ground

earlier today and

hannah was just swinging her feet and i

went hey hannah

when you're sitting in the chair do your

feet touch the ground

and her the he um

like the balls of her feet touch the

ground but the heels of her feet do not

and i would also like to know this is a

standard dinner chair this is not like

this is not a high top yeah so when i

very intentionally put my feet on the

ground my the balls on my feet touch the

ground and then chelsea's husband

overheard this conversation and very

kindly as vance is often very kind um

found me a an amazon box that my feet

are currently resting on so that my feet

can touch something i just looked under

the table and can't confirm she still

has her feet on the amazon box i just

she's not blowing smoke up your ass this

is very true it's accurate so anyway

mara he does ask mara agrees to spend

the day with him they go out to lunch

they go to sullivan they go to

sullivan's which does wind up coming

back around eventually

um and so they have great lobster rolls

there the best apparently in the state

so

they go they have lunch it's all great

he is talking to her about the business

plan and she's like you can't take 10

like you can't give me all this money to

start this business and do all these

things

and only take 10 that's [ __ ] but

also worth noting that like the owner of

sullivan's tessa sullivan am i getting

that she is the part owner with her

brother

yes she's the part owner

not to be confused with liam from

neighbors yes liam

eden hoffer edenhoff hoffenheimer um in

the book she like it's an ongoing thing

in neighbors that she like mispronounces

his last name so i thought i would

continue the journey but yes so

sullivan's straight up says when they

get there

like tessa's like oh did you already

sell out of jam and she's like yeah i

did like i sold out super quick today

and she's like oh well i'd love to have

some to use here and then jared and his

business mind is like wait you want to

use her products and tests as products

products and and the owner of sullivan's

is like oh my gosh yes like i use them

whenever she can get them to me i've

based entire meals and like recipes on

them but it's just not always around but

like yes if she was if i had like a

ready supply of her product product i

would be using it

like every day yes so jared's like holy

[ __ ]

clearly we have an untapped market here

there's a lot of potential we need to

start this business

and mara's like

okay i guess

and

you know he knows a lot about business

because he's a billionaire obviously and

his business wasn't handed to him so

there's that

i mean the billions were handed to him

but the real estate business he created

we will give him credit for that but

also

while they are out at sullivan's like

jared kind of like loki drops this bomb

of like kind of alluding to his trauma

and where we started in the beginning of

the book with him being

like

like smashed and completely like super

depressed yes like

drunk out of his mind and he tells mara

that he killed his

like college girlfriend he's like and i

killed his best friend yes he's like i

killed them

um and that's all we know at this point

so we're like we know that there's some

trauma that like we don't fully

understand and mara doesn't ask any

follow-up questions she really does

doesn't do anything she just leaves it

alone she's a passive [ __ ] i can't okay

no i have a lot of questions about that

and mara just leaves it there

yes yes so much so so then

jared calls mara i don't fully remember

the exact time like jared calls mara and

is like hey

while we are starting our business

together that i'm

an angel investor who's giving you all

of your startup capital but only taking

and free jam home which does not feel

like a good deal on his end because it's

not

um

he is like hey why don't

you

like i know like you're gonna have to

move out of your house so like why don't

you consider moving into my guest house

while you start this business and she's

like

i'm not moving in with you and he's like

no no no no it's a completely separate

residence it has its own entrance it's a

completely separate on the sinclair

peninsula let's also be clear that in

the city of aimsport there is a

peninsula that has a gated entrance that

only the sinclair siblings have

residences yeah

or on that might be the better word um

yes so that's where we're starting my

dog just whimpered in the background i

don't know if you heard him it was a

very sad sound

he's quick

he is a chunky boy who is wanting more

food he is completely fine

do not let him fool you i can absolutely

relate though

like he will sit there and like he will

make you think we are atrocious owners

and i'm like you

we can tell from your size alone that

you are well loved like and well-fed but

and a well-fed yes so

jared calls and i have that full

conversation but then

guys horrible horrible news a fire

breaks out

so yes so they're on the phone right so

jared wakes up in the middle of the

night it's storming outside

and he i distinctly remember

he wakes up he finds his phone he's

clutching his phone and he's like i

don't need to call her she's probably

asleep i need to mind my own business

and then he calls her anyway

and she

answers she's very groggy clearly just

woke up and she's like hello and he's

like i was concerned that your

roof was leaking and she was like oh it

is i probably need to switch out the

containers like the buckets that i'm

using to catch the water then like jared

is all like what there are multiple

containers not even one like this place

has a death trap yes and then she's like

oh my god i smell smoke and he's like

what

freaking out

and she's like i i have to go i have to

call 9-1-1 so she hangs up and jared's

like what the [ __ ] so he gets dressed

very quickly gets in the car and

apparently is headed towards mara then

we flash to mara's point of view she's

in the house it's on fire

yes she's in the house it's on fire

she's trying to grab all of the like

actual things that she needs like like

birth certificate yes like a birth

certificate and like is like trying to

be like [ __ ] what what do i absolutely

need to grab from this fire but

unfortunately the fire continues to grow

and doesn't really have enough time so

then she does get her mother's wedding

ring which is important to her yes she

does get her mother's wedding ring

um and then we actually flash not to

jared or mara i know that's a big plot

to us we're flashing to evan if you

remember the oldest sinclair sibling yes

who like got

to town for dante and sarah's wedding

and decided to walk home and just happen

to be on the fire so he didn't decide to

walk home apparently the service that he

used to deliver his car failed to

deliver it on time and so he's livid

that this service failed to perform

their function he's very very agitated

and he's walking along and he sees this

fire and he's like looks like a business

so i just want to say you're a

billionaire so if your car service

didn't come through immediately i feel

like you could afford first world

problems this is yeah it's truly a first

world problem with him like like

pissed off wandering down the street and

happens upon this fire in the middle of

the night so he sees this fire he's like

it looks like a business i'm sure no

one's in there and then he hears a

scream and he's like oh [ __ ] somebody's

in there so he runs in and mara has she

was initially trapped in her bedroom she

left all her significant documents she

only took her mother's wedding ring she

wound up twisting her ankle trying to

get out she falls on the ground and then

this this individual appears and that's

evans and claire he picks her up carries

her out of the house deposits her on the

ground and it's kind of a dick about it

he's like you know normally when

someone's house is on fire they [ __ ]

leave

the house like what the [ __ ] were you

doing

and so she's really upset

evan show or jared shows up excuse me

jared shows up tries to run into the

house jared's like no no no i got her

evan is like

evan is like yes because jared's trying

to get in evan's like

simmer down buddy she's right here

she goes to the hospital jared takes her

back to his house and he's like you're

living with me now

and i just love that like in j.s scott's

universe there's always something that

happens where they're just like

i guess you're gonna live with me now

and i'm like what do you how did we get

here

yeah i mean i guess like i reading the

story i understand how we got here

logically but i'm almost like all of

these people

every single one of them every single

one been displaced from their home yeah

and it just continues through every

single book so we start with a

um

somebody vandalizes a house and no

ordinary billionaire

we have a fire and forbidden billionaire

we have a snowstorm in evans story that

i'm forgetting the name of it's a whole

like it's just multiple times it's like

there's no other option boo guess you

have to live with me now thanks bye

well and so then like they get to the

house and mind you like

they have like jared and mara have this

weird relationship like because they

don't have a relationship but he has

this like creepily possessive energy and

so she's sitting there and she's like

crying and stopping she's like i lost

everything and he's like you didn't lose

me and i'm like did she have you this is

your life yes he's like you have your

life and you have me what more do you

need and i'm like

all of her earthly possessions her home

like her business like just if we are

looking at maslow's hierarchy

there's a lot that she needs actually

and mind you yes you can provide that to

her but so then mara decides she wants

to seek physical comfort out of jared

but then like and she's like oh like i

just really need this comfort and then

jared gets all in his head and he's like

about being used because

he's [ __ ] a lot of women they they

want they never want us to forget that

holy [ __ ] i feel like every other

paragraph they're like i [ __ ] a lot of

women i'm like yes jared we get it

you're a stallion in the sheets like

calm yourself such a stud such a stud

hey there's my puppies

we'll get you right back to the show in

just a moment

but first

do you like us

maybe even

love us

because we sure love you

and if you do love us

don't tease us

tell us in those ratings and reviews

wherever you're listening right now

maybe even send us over to a special

sexy someone that would enjoy getting

smutty with us

because you know the first rule of smug

club is to talk about smut club

all right i won't keep you any longer

let's get back to the show

[Music]

so

[Music]

honestly i don't even remember the

tangent that i was about to go but

yeah so she's like i need physical

comfort and he's like use me how you

want to and she's like hold up hold up

hold up but like it's kind of like

despondent when he says it we're like

he's like been into their physical

interactions and then

he's like yeah take what you need but

like gets very like sad boy about it

and

so then she's like no no it's not me

taking what i need like i

i don't need this i need you like i want

you

right not just any man would do it's

only you

and so then they bang

and

it's magical i guess for everybody

involved i also

just want to note

they talk about the size of jared's dick

a lot so much so much through this book

because it's literally like the the

notes i have it's like i don't want it i

want you and the next quote is have you

had someone my size before and i feel

like the entire book is talking about

how

unfortunately massive yeah like honestly

the way they describe jared's dick seems

almost inconveniently large it is

not good husband dick

right and i think we've talked about

this before but the difference between

boyfriend dick and husband dick 100

like there's there's a difference

between

dick that is ridden for fun and dick

that is written for life you know what i

mean there's a difference i once had a

friend and mind you i think he was i

think he was a friend i i think he was

trying to bone me no okay

okay um

but i had a friend who

was telling me he's like yeah chelsea

honestly my last girlfriend like

she just told me like i was too big for

like longevity

which like i'm like

i think that's my wording not his but

like it was very much this like

i

have too large of a dick for her to want

it on a consistent basis sure

and to his credit i never actually saw

his dick but to his credit i do think

that's a real thing where people are

like hey

your dick is too large to be

something i want to engage with on an

ongoing basis it limits it limits a lot

like it limits the positions available

it limits a lot of things when it's too

big well when it goes down to your knee

up to your lungs

all i can think about is that one

picture of um idris elba walking do you

know the one i'm talking about there's

this photo of idris elba walking and

there's this very distinct like

imprint of something that is very far

down his thigh and people are like god

damn idris for real and he

he responded and was like

thank you for thinking that but that's a

that's a mic chord like that's not me

but thank you for thinking that you know

i also love that like his energy was

just like hey

thanks mine is actually a very

convenient size

i'm just saying

so they bone is the moral of the story

the moral of the story is that

mara is like i want physical comfort

after her house burned burns down and

she loses all of her earthly possessions

and then jared is like

i guess just use me take what you need

and she's like no i don't want it i

don't want i want you and then he's like

me have you had someone of my size

before

like also what do you say to that

because i feel like if you say yeah

actually

that's not what any jews is wanting to

hear no

no just and also a consistent theme with

with our dear friend jan is that these

women are all like near virginal so

they've had like

one or two dudes in the past

and they've been sub-par

in the bedroom yes it's always like a

i had sex a few times i don't get what

all the fuss is about and you're like oh

okay i guess that's where we live now

honey so that all happens she has sex

with jared

and then

we moved to like

maro seeing evan walk down the beach

in a suit in a full suit it's his it's

his most comfortable suit lest we forget

um

but she sees evan walking down the

street in a suit and she feels a kindred

ship to him after he rescued her from

the burning building and so she goes to

like talk with him and

thank him for rescuing her

and she shares about the whole business

deal

and how like she's annoyed with jared

for not setting himself up for success

and then evan is kind of like

yeah you're right he's not and like

that's not a great business deal but

i'll give you a good business deal and

so he's like kind of playing it where

he's like we'll just tell jared if he

won't sign an actual contract with you i

will

and we can open your jam and candy

business

without my brother's involvement

and she's like i hate that but also if

that's what it takes to get a fair deal

because i'm super ethical then that's

what i'll do she's the most ethical hoe

i've ever seen

holy [ __ ] she's the most ethical huh

like

like like i feel like all the time she's

like i'm that's just not fair or like i

can't like

jared will like

gift her things and then she's like we

need to come up with a payment plan and

he's like it's a [ __ ] gift and i'm a

billionaire and don't give a [ __ ] and

she's like i can't take this iphone and

he's like a thousand dollars is

literally

nothing i don't i truly do not care

about it and she's like i wouldn't feel

right and i'm like i think we need to

get over this but like because here's

the thing i view myself as an ethical

and conscious conscientious human being

but also if i know someone is a

billionaire and they're like hey chelsea

i just bought you the new iphone i'm not

gonna be like

do you want a payment plan

i'm just gonna say thank you so much i

can't wait to use it right if jeff bezos

gave me a million dollars right now i'd

be like

thank you have a great day

you know what i mean

my only ethical concern is if it was

like blood bunny

you know what i mean like i'm like yeah

like outside of that i really don't

really have any concerns

so

evan evan says he'll like make this

business deal with her and then jared

sees them

hugging because she hugs him as a thank

you yes and then jared is like livid

about this and is like colin dibs on her

yeah to evan he's like do not touch my

woman and we also left out that sarah

who is dante's fiance

bought her a whole new wardrobe

including lingerie and clothing and

underwear and everything because she

lost everything in the fire just as

emily did for sarah precisely no

ordinary billionaires so it's like like

a thing that they like to pass on the

next generation yeah i guess yes yeah

so jared so evan says to jared

stake your claim before somebody else

does and jared's like um excuse me are

you saying that you want to stake a

claim and evan's like mind your [ __ ]

business just do what i [ __ ] said to

you right now

basically i mean jared

rescued her from a fire not jared evan

evan rescued her they're all the same

let's just be clear they're all the same

they're all sinclairs

evan rescued her from a fire and then

was like i'll give you a business deal

if my brother won't and then jared's

like she's my woman and nothing's like

bros take your claim if you want to

stake a claim which honestly i feel like

evan is being pretty reasonable here

like i don't feel like this is like that

outlandish and like jared's like

very much puffing his chest definitely

so yeah

so then mara what happens next mara

makes him dinner i think

i don't know honestly my next notes say

i'll read you all my full notes mara

sees evan walking on beach offers her

business deal jared sees calls dibs and

then there's a space and then the next

section says quote i'm big and i wasn't

gentle

follow-up quote i was stretched by a man

of your size

right right right so she makes him

dinner which he's just flabbergasted by

because no one has ever made him dinner

before and it's just mind-boggling

because he's a billionaire and everyone

only wants his money they only want what

they can get from him not what they can

give to him right

so then they have a conversation finally

about their night or afternoon or

whatever [ __ ] time of day it was

together

and he's like did i hurt you

and she's like no and he's like for real

because i'm pretty [ __ ] big and she's

like i was just you know being stretched

by a man of your size he like he's

really obsessed with his dick size yeah

yeah just saying yeah so then they go on

a date to the arcade

yes so then he is like you need to take

a break you're doing too much let's go

to the arcade they go

they play games they

he gets her a stuffed animal of some

kind they do the little like

photo booth thing

he loves it

and then

i don't even know

neither do i these books are all

blending together they're all the same

you guys

except these are in maine not to be

confused with tampa florida

well

and then so like they go on the arcade

date and then honestly the next thing

that i like really remember happening is

that like beatrice

like declared that like they're a match

because i don't think they knew

right i don't think she had told evan

that mara was her match or maybe maybe

it was after the date that that jared

was like

yeah

she

she called

dante and sarah

she told me that i had a match that's

right because because she shows him her

her key ring that has the the crystal on

it and he's like i have one of those too

beatrice said that you're my match and

mara's like i'm not cute enough for that

basically

i really don't understand mara's like

push and pull with like when she has a

back button when she doesn't yeah just

saying yeah so

from there i just honestly remember that

they

she finally got jared to agree to a

business deal and business contract

because like

she kind of like played the evan card

and she was like oh well like if you

won't like your brother will sign this

like contract for like an actual like

business deal and ethical agreement with

me

and then jared was like the [ __ ] you

will i'm your business partner not my

brother

and so they like finally actually like

agreed on a business contract but they

didn't sign yet they just agreed to

terms

they don't sign till later

oh i don't remember that

i literally just you just finished it

i'm just finished here's the thing i

kind of did but honestly

i skimmed a couple chapters because i

needed that break in my life and they

hadn't really banged again

so then there's the

also don't forget that like after that

jared does tell us how his friends died

yes so so there's the um bachelor party

and the bridal party happening

so she is with all the women and she

tells them that doesn't happen yet oh it

doesn't we aren't there yet i jumped the

gun you did i did so we do jared

discloses to mara

how the friends died

yes so what we find out is that

jared's college girlfriend who he was in

love with and his best friend were

having an affair jared and his best

friend were supposed to be starting this

like architecture

firm restoring old houses once they

graduated so jared was putting all of

his time into that and was like oh

that's why i'm growing distant from my

girlfriend because i'm working on all

these like business deals right and then

found out

because he was the designated driver at

a party

and then he's like oh where did my

girlfriend go and like found her [ __ ]

his best friend right so and then he

leaves yes he got upset and left

understandable right as like a very

natural human reaction so he gets upset

after he saw his girlfriend [ __ ] his

best friend and leaves the party and he

had been their designated driver so then

later on in the evening apparently his

now ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend got

in the car

with another driver who was intoxicated

and then that car crashed and they

subsequently died and jared has always

blamed himself because

he

was sober and didn't drive them home

because he'd been upset yes and jared is

not the only one who blames himself his

girlfriend's mother also blames him

because all she knows is that he was the

designated driver and chose to leave her

daughter at this party

and then she died so she doesn't know

about all this other stuff so she blames

jared and at the wedding like smacks him

and tells him that everything's fault

funeral sure what did i say wedding i

was like who's wedding i haven't drank

that much you really haven't so

yes at her daughter's funeral she like

lays in to jared about all this which

only like increases

all of his guilt

um

what was i just thinking about all of

this honestly i don't remember this book

is such a [ __ ] faster such a disaster

oh that was what it was

so jared i guess because he's a

billionaire

and loved his girlfriend and she didn't

come from a family who was also

billionaires was paying her college

tuition this whole time yeah so there

was this like whole tension where you're

like

oh

was his girl his girlfriend was only

continuing to date him because he was

paying for her tuition right and he was

investing all the money

for him and the best friend to start

this business so it's like is the best

friend only in all of this

for

the money for this business

right

so

mara is

starting to build her own business

they're getting the

um

website launched they're doing all these

different things

for all of this mara at some point

decides that she really wants to give

him

a blowy

and

he's like no one's ever done this before

and she's because of because he's a man

of his size that an a a woman has never

wanted to go down on him because he's

too well endowed

right

which when i think back to morning glory

milking farm at one point she really

wants to go down on him and i'm like if

she can handle a bull penis

i feel like

i feel like jared might be like

overestimating himself

i'm also i'm like

i legitimately thought that i was like

how big is his dick that

no woman ever

ever

has wanted to go down on him

because he's too well endowed and

especially when like we talk all of like

this book about

women using him to get to his money and

i'm like okay so all of your dick is so

big

that these women are like i get that

you're a billionaire but even i can't do

that right and to be clear it's not like

this is

this is a a thing that happens after the

fact this is a pre-arranged discussion

like

he is essentially

providing these women with

whatever they want in order to have sex

with them right so it's not like

it's a

surprise

for anybody

and yet

we constantly seem surprised in this

book by the size of his dick and i'm

like i don't know how we're surprised

it's literally all we talk about right

but they keep bringing it up like it's

new information yes and so they have the

whole like

like they've he's never been with a

woman who's like wanted to go down on a

man of his size

and then i don't remember if it's in the

exact same sexual encounter because

there's a lot of sexual encounters and

they all kind of bleed together

but

then like their next sexual encounter

that may have been the same night

she's like i'm on birth control because

my doctor dr sarah singh almost sinclair

recently prescribed it to me yeah so she

let's raw dog it yes she had originally

said that they weren't gonna hook up

again that it was a one-time thing after

the fire that she didn't want to use him

blah blah blah blah blah blah

and then

in the book from her perspective she's

like i guess i kind of knew in the back

of my mind that this was totally gonna

happen with jared again so i definitely

got on birth control so that we could

just like bang it out

yeah i feel like the book doesn't read

as someone who decided they were no

longer going to be sexually active

honestly it reads like

some christian high schoolers who are

like

we're not going to have sex but i bought

these condoms just to be safe

right for the sex we're never gonna have

right

right and then he's like floored that he

trusts her enough to go for it even

though he's [ __ ] a lot of women you

guys he's [ __ ] a lot of women he is

not afraid to remind us

i [ __ ] a lot of women and no woman has

ever wanted to go down on me i [ __ ] a

lot of women and i've never gone raw

before like i [ __ ] a lot of women and

fill in the blank i'm like bro

we get it

you're you're a hot billionaire who's

boned a lot of chicks all i can think

about is the beach boys right now get

around get around i get around

i like that we harmonize that we

unintentionally nailed it yes so all

right from there

they raw dog it sure they go without a

condom because she's on birth control

for the sex they weren't gonna have and

he's like you're mine forever now

yeah you can never leave me now that

i've had you bear

but also i don't love you right

i just can't live without you and you're

mine and you are mine but this is not

love i want to be clear because i don't

believe in love exactly because of his

trauma with his girlfriend who was using

him for his money

so then we actually get to where hannah

previously tried to bring us because

i brought us back um to the bachelor and

bachelorette party and at the bachelor

party jared is sitting and talking to

all of his brothers and like do you love

her and he's like no

and they're like

are you super possessive and like can't

imagine with anyone else and he's like

yes it's like [ __ ] everyone like haha

it's love yeah and they're like would

you like walk through fire for her and

he's like yes because he already loki

kind of did even though she doesn't know

he tried to go into her house while it

was on fire to rescue her even though

she had already been rescued

and so he's like oh damn

like maybe it is

and then at the bachelorette party she's

had a few daiquiris and all the women

are like

one like you're totally into him and

she's like no

she does disclose a little bit more she

does

than jared does but it's still kind of

that like oh i don't know like

we're just seeing each other for now

like it's nothing serious

right that's kind of their energy right

and then the next day he comes over

super early shows her the website for

the business

yes he like got up at like the crocodile

and was like the website is up and

that's not the only thing that's up

and yeah that's literally literally

literally what happens

that

wasn't hyperbolic that was very spot on

to what's in the book um

but like the website was up and he

bought her a new phone because she lost

a new computer

in the fire

and then they decided they are

officially together like after

after the bachelor and bachelorette

party the next day they like kind of

officially deem themselves together but

this is also the scene where she's like

he's like she never looked better to me

and she's like i was wearing

a spaghetti strap lacy tank top and

shorts that went to my knees and y'all i

don't know what the [ __ ] james got

j.s scott like what the obsession with

bermuda shorts is and i'm like is this

you trying to make these women less sexy

because it feels like all of the men in

your books are like these like hot alpha

billionaires with zero body fat and then

all of the girls are like i'm plain and

curvy and wear bermuda shorts and i'm

like where i just why do all of you have

bermuda shorts i just don't get it so i

feel like i need to do more research

into jan and like where she's from

because if she is in fact from florida

maybe that is tainting

her definition of sexy to include

bermuda shortly honestly when i think of

bermuda shorts i think of the mission

trip i went on in middle school just

central america

like chelsea with full braces yes doing

ribbon dances whatever the [ __ ] i was

doing on these souls saving souls on

this trip i was a i was a clown

unfortunately i popped a lot of balloons

and that's that is not a euphemism y'all

she was a clown i i was a clown i

dressed up as a clown they tried to

teach me how to make balloon animals i

was not great at it because i was 11 at

the time

i'm like i'm 11 trying to save the souls

of i don't know who the [ __ ] i'm trying

to save the souls up um i popped a lot

of balloons because i was 11 and a

pretty shitty clown euphemism i made the

children

i made the children cry

because i popped so many balloons

but like when i think bermuda shorts i

think that is quintessential chelsea and

panama energy circa

i don't know 2 000 whatever the [ __ ]

year it was that that trip happened

and

no part of me has ever heard shorts

described as going to the knees and

being like this is sexy and to be fair

j.s scott jan our girl is like i agree

it's not sexy but the men are somehow

into it i'm like why are all of your men

why are all of your like super hot

zero body fat alpha males into bermuda

shorts i have just r

chelsea just there's something in the

water and [ __ ] aimsport that we don't

know about and tampa

and tampa we haven't made it are there

bermuda shorts in the tampa books i

honestly don't remember but you know we

wouldn't put it past our girl and we

wouldn't not for a moment

so he's into it she's into it they bang

again

she's like i need a contract and he's

like fine i'll draw one up

i promise

after giving her the phone and the

computer

but when did he

oh so then after

yes i'm getting ahead of myself because

then the night of the rehearsal dinner

when it was just the family hanging out

like all of this drama goes down where

like you find out hope

the youngest sibling so she's the the

youngest of the east coast sinclair she

has the four older brothers evan grady

dante

jared um

and she's married to

josh

i don't know somebody with a j something

something in sutherland j sutherland is

what we'll go with um and then we find

out like this gets disclosed at the

rehearsal dinner that like she used to

be an extreme weather photographer and

had almost died on an assignment because

she was

kidnapped and tortured and raped and

you're like i didn't know tornadoes were

dangerous in that capacity they were in

india

in india yes that is a big point and

then

um

the mom of jared's college girlfriend

shows up that night yes and so they're

like processing that hope went through

all of this

and her husband

whatever jay sutherland is like

we're together now i'll keep her safe

and all the brothers are like we'll keep

her safe

and so they're all processing that and

then they're like someone's at the door

for you jared and he's like what

and it's the mother of his college

girlfriend who is sitting there and

she's like

so i found her diaries and i read them

and i was reading all about how she was

in love with your best friend and was

just using you for college tuition so

can you actually tell me what happened

that night yes and mara jumps up and is

like you will get the [ __ ] out and all

the brothers are like we will remove you

like you can't be here like the brothers

don't fully know what's happening

they're just like except evan don

because they're like do we need to call

the police then dante's like i the

police are already here [ __ ] what's

going on i am the police i am the police

and i'm like [ __ ] you dante i love your

energy

i'm like both somehow [ __ ] you

and i i love your energy mad respect bro

so

then all of jared's like college trauma

gets brought to light with his family

yeah so evan tells them the whole story

while

jared is talking to the mom

right

roughly i also think

if i remember i thought if i'm i could

be remembering this very incorrectly

let's be completely honest but i felt

like she came in like had some questions

and then jared wasn't like answering

them very quickly then everyone's like

we want answers what's going on like

evan just like jumped into what happened

in front of everyone yeah and then at

the end

jared like walks her outside and they

talk and then jared answers more

questions from all the siblings i think

so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um

but then after that

he drives mara

back to their house now because they

live together she's also no longer in

the guest house in case anyone was

wondering she's living

no she is in the guest house jared is

sad she's in the guest house he's like

why the [ __ ] is isn't she in the main

house where she was a few days ago we're

like

because you like didn't really clarify

this use your words jared and so then

they [ __ ] on a mercedes

well it's also important to note it's

her new mercedes she doesn't know that

until after they bang on it

did they banner did he bang or did he

just

give her they definitely bang i just i

you just reread it

honestly i skimmed it i was so over

there she calls her

she calls him pretty a couple of times

and he's like you're gonna pay for that

spanx her a little bit bangs her

on the mercedes yes that did happen and

then he's like this is your new car and

she's like the [ __ ] and he's like i gave

away your truck it wasn't safe i gave it

to because they hired a couple of

teenagers to help her with the business

i gave it to the teenager who's helping

you with the business so he can fix it

up so his family will have a car this is

your new one it's safer it's practical

blah blah blah blah and she's like i'm

not fully against it but like maybe

don't give away my possessions without

asking me yeah but then we also find out

like jared like snuck that like he could

buy her a new car into their business

contract right for her products

products

um so then that was the rehearsal dinner

big night for the whole sinclair family

the next day is their wedding i don't

know if you all remember but a no

ordinary billionaire

the youth center was a very prominent

setting um

and it is also where dante rescued sarah

from the kidnapper whatever go back to

the serial killer

[ __ ] hot mess all across the board

and so

um they are at the wedding

mara goes to the restroom at one point

and is like thinking she's never been

happier comes out and is like trying to

get to jared but is stuck behind a large

man and jared can't see her and she

overhears jared saying like oh i need to

tell mara

that i bought her house

right and i'm the reason she was

displaced right i'm the reason she was

getting evicted

it's all on me and the the brothers are

all around like dude i can't believe you

haven't told her yet you have to tell

her and he was like i know

i just don't want to hurt her and so

she's thinking the only reason he's with

her is because he

ruined her life basically like he

ruined her business he took her home and

so she's thinking that he's doing this

just out of pity for her because he's

done that in the past so he didn't tell

his his girlfriend's mom that she was a

cheating

individual

and so

you're honestly giving him so much more

credit that's what it says in the book i

know

but you're still giving him more credit

than i did but that's what it says

that's what that's the picture that jan

is painting

so she's like obviously that's the only

reason he's with me because i'm so plain

and flat and curvy and whatever random

words that you're like these are not

congruent they're not whatever

whatever um um conflicting adjectives

you can think of that's me

he's only with me because i am fat and

stupid and don't have a home so she

feels bad for me

yes he pities me so she runs away

from the wedding to

her burned down home right

which is unsafe to be in which is yeah

condemned and not safe to be in but also

evan

sees this all play out and evan sees

mara overhear this and sees like jared

not no mara heard and like is like

trying to

help out because he's evan and that's

what he does so

evan follows mara to her burn down home

that she's hanging out and like crying

in and having an existential crisis in

yeah and is like no he had like jared

had good reasons and then at this point

he loves you and that's this is where we

also find out that like

officially find out that jared had tried

to run into mara's burning building to

save her

because we didn't really know that up

front we only knew like evan saved mara

but we didn't know that like

jared had gotten there

before the place fully burned down and

had tried to like go in and save her and

evan actually had to intervene or jared

would have died yeah so then mara is

sitting there and she's like oh my gosh

he loves me and he like went into a

burning building to save me how

incredible

yes and then

jared's like or evan excuse me evan's

like jared obviously loves you maybe you

need to give him a chance and she's like

maybe you're right so they stand up from

the soot covered floor which is very

prevalent in the book because it's it's

evan's favorite tuxedo that he's ruined

to sit on the floor this is my favorite

yes very uppity with his this is my most

comfortable suit earlier in the book and

this one he's like oh this is my

favorite i'm like okay bro

you're a billionaire buy some more

[ __ ] suits

you can buy this exact one so she hugs

him as a thank you

for thank you for comforting me and

coming and talking me down when i had

been super upset and all that good stuff

and then jared had finally realized mara

was missing so like he comes to the

house and happens upon

his brother

evan the dog

hugging

the

[ __ ] hugging the hussy and he's like i

will [ __ ] kill you and she's like no

you won't

please stop she like bodily prevents him

by essentially i'm like imagining a full

koala bear because in the book it

describes her like latching onto his

neck and then wrapping her legs around

his waist so she goes like full koala

bear to stop him from

going after his brother because she's

assuming that he is going to

like physically hold her up rather than

let her fall and go after his brother so

he's like i'm still gonna kill him and

she's like no you're not take me home

and

i mean that's really it yeah

i feel like the honestly this book is so

anti-climactic because you're like cool

the entire book

the

what like the the drama and tension

that's been building has all been

predicated on

mara finding out

that

jared had bought her home and

essentially like got her evicted from

her childhood home which is the catalyst

for everything for the whole [ __ ]

book right and so then at the end she

like she finds this out and then like

talks to ev like and you're like oh [ __ ]

like what's gonna happen like clearly

there's like there's gonna be like a

disconnect for a while and then evan

shows up and is like he had his reasons

and he ran into the building when it was

on fire because he didn't know i'd

already saved you because he loves you

and she's like oh okay

well i guess jared

did do this with good intentions

so then like by the time jared shows up

she's like

no we're good right there's like there

he doesn't even know that she had beef

with him for a little while right she's

already forgiven him because she

because evan explains that he realized

that jared realized the house was unsafe

and that's why he

had his moment and bought the house to

get her out of it because he didn't want

her in a house that was unsafe

which like we're all supposed to just

believe is because he like

subconsciously was already in love with

her and couldn't admit it to himself so

he like bought this house yeah to

make sure she was safe but then also

bought it because

the

business he was going to start with his

college roommate was an architectural

like

refurbishing business of restoration

apologize not refurbish restoring big

difference

it was not that big eight

not as big as jared's dick apparently

nothing is as big as jared's stick from

how they describe it because the way

they describe it

makes it sound of epic proportions super

epic

and so

yeah like there's really no

drama

at the end like but like there's no

tension between mara and jared nope they

just bang again

yeah they're just like

oh i realize you had good intentions

when you did this yeah let's [ __ ] and

she is like i know you don't believe in

love i've told you i loved you

like i don't expect reciprocation and

he's like you're [ __ ] stupid of

course i love you so much that it's

crazyness

also it was the first time he used the

words so was she crazy

no because i feel as though he was not

forthcoming with this necessarily up

front yeah so i mean basically that's

where the book ends there isn't well and

he says marry me very demandingly so and

she's like try asking

just like at the farmer's market there's

a lot of symmetry in this in fact they

even note the symmetry in the book

they pointed out very specifically and

so eventually he says will you just like

he did at the farmers market and she

says i will thank you

just like she did at the farmers market

and then they decide they're gonna get

married and then in the epilogue it's

like they've gotten married very quickly

her business is booming she's opened

like a factory

he's decided that he's gonna restart his

business of of restoring homes

not refurbishing

i mean i guess also refurbishing i don't

[ __ ] know and is there a difference i

don't please tell you i think so

i mean i don't i thought they were

synonyms

it feels synonymous to me

so that's it really yeah so like the

whole book is building up to this

tension of like mara finding out

that jared had [ __ ] her over by buying

her house

but then evan shows up and is like he

did it because he loves you and your

house wasn't safe if that wasn't obvious

by the [ __ ] fire that you had

and then she was like when you say it

like that i guess he really does love me

and then jared shows up and is like i'll

fight my brother and she's like don't

fight him i love you

and then he's like i love you too

the end and you're like i really am

curious about how we decided this was

the journey to go on with the doll maker

and that's the book guys she's not just

a dollar i would also like to note

because we did forget to mention this

her jam business really does take off

boomin um in fact they had hired some

high schoolers to help but then honestly

they outgrew the guest house

for making these products and so then

they bought an industrial warehouse

products and then they bought an

industrial warehouse

so that they could make the products

products in math

um

and that

she now has a booming

business called mara's kitchen and she

and jared designed the logo themselves

so i imagine it looks fantastic very

professional and she's very proud of all

of the jobs that she is providing to

aimsport and that is

that's the story guys so i don't know

what about this was forbidden as the

forbidden billionaire i don't know what

about it

not a damn thing was forbidden like

their romance wasn't forbidden

i mean going in the condemned building

was forbidden but i don't think that was

it the size of his

his dick was forbidden like i

legitimately i'm right there with you

what was forbidden about this jan if you

are not a bot

please let us know we do have questions

if you're an actual human woman and not

a bot or potentially a man in a basement

we want to know we really would love

some answers here so

thank you for joining us we love you

we're so glad you're here and we hope

you have a wonderful night yeah thank

you for a wonderful day oh wait also

because we always forget not always we

occasionally forget

how do we rate this book and are we

rating it

out of taffy out of toffee out of jam

jar

i think it should be out of out of taffy

out of dolls out of victorian dolls

victorian dolls out of handmade

victorian dolls i'm gonna go

three out of seven

i was gonna go one out of three

i feel like we're close

yeah we're not we're not far off there

so we're not i'll say three out of seven

victorian dolls

um

annabelles annabelles and jam jars

yeah that feels right to me that feels

right to me

um so yeah i think that that yeah that's

a

that's a generous way and honestly we

went into a lot of detail y'all so if

you feel like you want more information

you can read it but frankly

you will probably get less than what we

gave you yeah you know everything you

need to know at this juncture really

filled in the narrative of that one we

did um don't worry our joint reviews we

will continue next with evan sinclair

because we can't abandon jan like this

never we we gotta do a few more i don't

know if we're gonna make it all the way

to tampa before we move on to some other

territory but i think we can at least

make it through like the biological

sinclair brothers yeah yeah yeah for

sure we can make it through evan yeah we

can make it through evan after evan we

get into the cousins

and

we can also get to the cousins in the

future we might need to take a break if

we're being honest we'll just see how it

goes yes all right thank you we love you

i apologize that you already heard us

say this because we forgot to do our

rating system so pretend that you didn't

hear it already and you're hearing it

now for the first time yeah it's magical

and

we just really appreciate that you spent

this hour and whatever however many

minutes with us

so

stay safe out there and

keep reading smut i guess yeah keep

reading smart

next week on smart club like have you

seen like those like memes where they're

like

don't jump to conclusions and then it's

me jumping to conclusions and it's like

someone like on one of those like

three-story trampolines like this is

what it feels like here he's like i was

just worried about getting you pregnant

she's like i knew he wouldn't want to

get a horse daughter pregnant and you're

like i really don't think it had

anything to do with your upbringing i

just think like

he didn't want to have children that's

more believable for how trauma works

than just suddenly being cool with a bj

like

that's more in line with how trauma

works so at least she got something

halfway right

well that's it for this week's mudsluts

we hope it was good for you because it

sure was great for us

if you're digging what we're doing it

would mean a lot if you take a minute to

rate and review the show wherever you're

listening right now

maybe tell that sexy someone to let us

in here

we love you

we appreciate you

and we'll see you next week

stay spotty

[Music]

you