Smut Club

well hello All You Beautiful

[Music]

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Chelsea and

[Applause]

Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut

club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this

is this the podcast where we the podcast

the

podcast no other podcast needed we are

the podcast Jesus wept where we talk

about smut yes we are two licensed

therapists mental health therapist if

you can believe it

I don't know why I said

that

shocking and we review um romance novels

of varying levels of trash and general

overall caliber um and we we share those

with each other yeah what an

intro we did

it oh my God maybe our strongest start

yet yeah yeah I feel really good about

it but also I'm not quite sure what

episode number this is I want it's like

we're around episode 70 if this is not

episode 70 we are around 70 so I'm also

assuming if you're just clicking on

episode 70 you're not you might not be

starting here this might not be your

first introduction yeah like you get it

yeah so you're like well of course

they're therapist and you're not like oh

wow and if you are well welcome welcome

we're so glad you're here yep grab a

glass of wine and uh that's what we are

drinking today um not Boda box we

normally are drinking well no you are

drinking B box drinking B box I'm

drinking

Kirkland cuz they didn't have any B of

red what yeah my husband was like I had

our toddler like he he was shpping he's

like Chelsea I had our toddler with me I

grabbed the Rosé I couldn't find any bat

of red so you got Kirkland and he's like

what does it taste like and I was like

it tastes like red wine like whenever

you think red

wine yes that like not like a you're not

going to say like an oky red we're not

adding any words to it we're just going

you want some red wine and this is what

it tastes like yeah so grab a glass sure

join us uh what book are we reviewing

today I didn't I this was this one is

all Hannah

Titan BY Jillian

Graves okay I don't know this one I

you're

gonna vely threatening I didn't mean it

like that until it was out of my mouth

and Titan is like a powerful name it is

a powerful name for a powerful dude so

for the setup this is a um from the like

cover of the book this is a daddy Dom

gargoyle romance so we're slipping into

paranormal and we're um going to be

exploring some Kink okay full

disclosure um I was not sober when I

outlined this so are you sober now not

[Laughter]

especially so who knows who knows what's

going to happen um I'm so glad everyone

is along for this journey on stuff your

Kindle day I feel what's it called EXO

EXO daddy or something

uh it is like a little dump sort but

like I don't mind Kink uh I tend to

enjoy reading books that have Kink

honestly I think you can only read so

many like college romances of kids doing

missionary before you need you can only

get through so many sports romances

where they bang in the locker room

before you're like all right like yes

um none of that's really relevant I'm

just going to stop myself before we get

too I really thought you were going

somewhere else but okay I did too um but

I am

recognizing that I am also not

exceptionally sober right now so

exceptionally sober

for everyone's

sake so

yeah uh for those listening and not

watching Hannah's wearing this like

super cute crop top that has like a

little tie on the front and she just

like tightened the knot like she was

getting down to

business uh in the best way where she's

like okay we're about to get into this

that was the equivalent of a man pulling

up his sleeves before he like you know

okay

so Titan is following a man that he

believes has stolen a very important

magical object um he is a

gargoyle he was created by witches 700

years ago to protect magical artifacts

that's like his purpose in in being um

and and

so the key so he was created he was

created yes um along with several other

gargoyles who all have the same purpose

and Mission okay uh but he's like their

leader so the key to what is called The

Relic room was stolen and so he has been

searching for centuries for this key

it's really important all of these

artifacts are now lost because the Relic

room is like on a different plane like

it's not an actual place it's like a

separate Dimension that the witch is

created right so he sees the guy um who

appears to be on a date um which was

arranged online on a sugar baby website

um like the guy he's following is on a

date that was arranged on a sugar baby

website yes so so the guy is on a date

with a sugar baby and um he is like

watching this girl and he's like oh damn

like okay and he sees her like the guy

is doing something on his phone or

something I don't exactly remember but

he sees her like jot down like a note or

something and he realizes she has the

information that he needs this guy is

like inviting her to a party and like

bragging about his collection of

artifacts cuz he collects historical

stuff and so he's like I'm pretty sure

this girl has what I need um and he's

like like in

a she is like a spy trying to get that

info or just like oh the guy just gave

it to her so conveniently she has okay

it's just the opportunity she took okay

yeah just wanted to make sure this was

not going to be another like double spy

situation feel like we've read a couple

of them she is not a spy she's

definitely not by um but he's very

attracted to her and he's like well

we're going to have to set that aside

because like the key the mission is the

most important thing and so Jewels is

our main chick so it's dual point of

view so Jewels is going on a date as a

sugar baby what's the gargoyle's name

Titan oh that's just his

name yeah I thought it was a a state of

being it's both

it can be both you know

touche um feels a little little on the

nose but a little bit subtlety is not

the point of this book right okay that's

great for me to know with the questions

that I ask that you'll be hey Chelsea

it's not that deep no one no no there's

no subplot here we are just

straightforward okay we're fully sending

so Jules is going on a date as a sugar

baby M um she is a former Child Star and

she really needs the money she is um

currently in a legal battle with her

mother for her trust so her mom like all

the money she earned as a child star

went into a trust and now her mom is

saying that basically Jules is not of

sound mind um and should not have access

to the trust is this book Loosely based

on Britney Spears I don't know but I'm

pretty sure I did throw in a hashtag

free Brittney in my notes somewhere so

we'll get there cuz again I was not

explicitly

sober or especially sober whatever the

[ __ ] we said earlier so I was maybe

explicitly not

sober yeah okay um so she shows up to

this Penthouse um and clearly it's a

really nice place and she's like lowkey

casing the place like

she knows what she needs she needs money

what she is hoping for is like a

long-term um sugar baby

Arrangement um not just a date um but

she also has a history of of um taking

things that don't belong to her when

they strike her fancy so she's like

looking around and she's like Okay so

this dude like for real has money um and

we're into that so but I'm also like

obviously I I don't know what's about to

happen but I'm like if you're into that

that's not the time to steal things no

it wouldn't be so she is she meets Titan

he is massive um and so

she in their conversation she realizes

he just wants information from her he is

not interested in any kind of like sugar

daddy Dynamic with with her and she's

like well [ __ ] like okay so what can I

get out of this um because she really

does need the money so he has already

paid a significant amount for the night

um but she is like all right well if you

want this information it's going to be

like 20 grand or something like she

throws out a number that she thinks is

ridiculous and he's like done no problem

and she's like should have asked for

more like

[ __ ] um but the information is for a

party that the guy that she was on a

date with previously was throwing I

thought that she was at his house no she

has been at Titans she's at Titans now

okay Titan saw her on the date then

hired her for the night and then she saw

that Titan had a lot of money yes and um

yes so they left out the middle part

where like he went online and found her

on the site and like booked it they left

that out of the story but that appears

to be what happened so um he asks to be

her daddy for a night like just for one

night that's it and she's like cool cool

cool I'm going to need more money he's

like done yes not a problem um so he

immediately goes like full Dom turns to

Stone no not yet he takes her to bed um

he eats her out he fingers her he's lots

of like squirt for your daddy kind of

stuff it's a lot it's fully scent within

like 20 minutes of meeting each other

which I can respect

the the game like the the the what's the

word I want I don't know hubris I don't

know like you know good for you

for yeah yeah yeah I can respect that I

don't think I would I would respond well

to that personally um but she's into

it but I mean also and I'm sure like I

know she's into it and she's being paid

to be into it as well which I think

helps your enthusiasm I yeah yeah yeah I

would imagine so um but like

I I don't know if someone said the words

squirt for your daddy to me if I I

wouldn't immediately laugh yeah I feel

like that's one of those that would take

me out of the moment pretty quickly what

did that dude say to you that one time

may I lie with you and you were like I

think the [ __ ] not yeah yeah so if a

respectful request to lie with you gets

declined I don't know how squirt for

your daddy is going to lay well I also

think it's different if this is a

one-time hookup that you've never met

before it hits totally different than if

it's a partner that you have a

relationship and trust with like well

okay I am just going to delve back into

the EXO exod daddy situation bring it

cuz once again totally open to this is

not meant to be king shaming in any way

but I think reading and just the dynamic

of the scene they were in and her uh

portraying an age progression with in

that scene and then being

like oh let me touch your little clitty

and I need

cumies okay yeah see that's why I like

that's why I left it before but then I

was like no I got to go back there

because I'm like reading it I'm like oh

this is not a scene or a scenario or a

situation I have ever been in personally

nor do I think I will will ever find

myself there personally but I'm like but

I

I can say with confidence that if uh my

husband said may I touch your little

clitty

I it probably go about like

that yeah I'm like there are just some

things that I'm like nope suddenly dries

the Sahara

that had the opposite effect well okay

so what I'm thinking of is like you know

there was a time a while ago where like

we got a new toy whatever and we went to

go like use it and play with it

and my husband didn't understand all the

buttons and so things happened that

shouldn't have happened and we were both

just dying laughing and he was like I

really should have tested this

for and like that hits different than if

like a hookup is like trying something

that doesn't work like I'm less likely

to be amused by that was that the link

to the toy that I sent

you that one that when I text you and I

was like I need a [ __ ] user manual on

this text and then I and you're like

what's the toy so I sent it to you and

then your response was I bought it

because I was outlining this book and I

was still

drunk oh my

God but I'm not going to lie that toy

you really do have to read you do there

are several buttons yeah and like some

you have to hold and some you can just

like hit once and you can do the wrong

thing you can you

can my husband calls that the goat yeah

it's intense it's a lot the funniest

part is I like sent the link to my

cousin where I was like this is such an

like roughly the same text I sent you

and she goes oh I just bought that for a

friend's batch party and I'm

like good for your friend if she

hopefully she can read good for her or

maybe everyone else is just walking

around with knowledge about how to you

like there are like three buttons we

raised in too much Purity culture that

we can't figure out how to use this toy

I'm sorry I thought most toys came with

an on off switch not three on and off

switches that have different functions

functions and different patterns can be

used on all three to do different things

it's a lot yeah great toy highly

recommend highly recommend but my poor

husband he was like I really should have

tried this out

first

uh we were using a toy one time that had

like a separate remote that you could

use sure uh but my husband

uh inserted the toy and then goes okay

what

now no you had to hit the power button

first so that's and he goes oh I'll know

for next

time that's so good but that's what I'm

saying like it hits different when it's

your partner and like you can laugh

together and like know each other like

that's totally different yeah it's just

like having that fun journey together

like 20 minutes in someone being like

squirt for

Dad yeah let me touch that little

clitty oh no thank you lil clitty sounds

like a terrible rapper they're probably

from

Florida they're 100% from Central

Florida I can tell you right now they're

from

Okala like sorry anybody from oala I'm

so

sorry oh [ __ ]

okay I was going to go more

like Brandon or like Braden not

brenon no all right we don't need to

decide what where the pur where this

rapper lives we'll decide off podt and

let you guys know although feel free to

send us your votes on where you think

Lil clitty originated from there's no to

me it's either Okala or they're from

Jersey beach like there's no in the

middle I was maybe also getting a

Midwestern

Vibe but like in the Malibu's Most

Wanted kind of way all right anyway they

are like 20 minutes in and living their

best life yes and she comes really

really hard to the point where she

actually starts to cry and she feels

really like vulnerable because it was

like so much of an

experience um the next morning can I ask

a quick question yeah yes does he have

gray skin no so he appears human oh okay

mhm so does she know he's a gargoyle she

just believes he's a human so she

doesn't know anything about the

supernatural oh okay yeah so she doesn't

know they exist she's just living life

look like a gargoyle he's just a big

dude a big hot man yeah okay um so she

is freaking out the next morning they

don't even have sex he just like makes

her come and then they go to sleep and

so she decides she is going to get the

[ __ ] out right now but she sees a ring

on his

finger um and it looks like it's an

antique and it looks like it's probably

pretty valuable so she decides she's

going to take it off his finger oh of

all of the things you could steal in his

bougie ass place yeah it's the ring off

of his person and so she's like I can

probably like Pawn this or sell it for

like a pretty good good amount since

this is not the long-term arrangement I

was expecting like I need something to

like pad my time and so when she takes

it off his finger she goes to leave he

turns into a massive stone gargoyle when

she removes the ring for the record when

I asked if he turned to stone earlier I

was really just making an erection joke

yeah I didn't get that until just

now when you said it he doesn't turn

into stone

yet and I was like really he didn't get

hard well he might have gotten hard but

he still didn't [ __ ] her so you know

touche but

now literal Stone yes now actual stone

so um Supernaturals are real um they

call themselves The

Strange and he is currently trying to

find the key and he is experiencing what

they call the pole so the pull comes up

over and over again but it's this like

because he was created for this purpose

there's this like visceral feeling he

gets in his chest when he is near the

key or when he is not actively looking

for the key and so he you know all of

this is coming out as all of this is

happening she's flipping out she's like

did he drug me or something like what

the [ __ ] so qu did she put the ring back

on him no she's still has it in her hand

so then we're just getting this but she

doesn't know any of this so they're like

having a conversation now like he can

still talk yes I'm confused so he's a

gargoyle who moves I'm thinking not

trom oh so he can still move it's not

like he like turned to stone and is now

like

uh yes I'm thinking like the hunchback

notom kind of gargoyles that come

life okay yes that have wings and can

fly yes the ones that can still I think

when I heard Stone I just assumed he

became sedentary like he like froze or

something yes sorry that I could have

clarified that so I was like how I was

like is it are they reading each other's

minds like I'm like creating a is there

telepathy yes no not that I'm aware of

oh okay so then four other gargoyles

show up um all all in Gargoyle form and

um it's his like team essentially these

are his brothers they're his family um

and So eventually she agrees to help

them because they need to get into the

party this guy is throwing because

they're pretty sure that he does have

the key um and he is some kind of movie

producer or like he knows a movie

producer or something and so the

producer is having a rap

show and they're like okay great thanks

for the information we'll get it and

she's like I'm sorry are you also a

former Child Star do you know how to

move in these circles do you know how to

get in this party do you have an

invitation no you don't so you're going

to be paying me and I will be helping

you thank you she is ever the opportune

oh she's she's in it to win it um so

um throughout this whole thing she's

very intentionally trying to like stay

in character as her like sugar baby

seductress like Persona um because she

doesn't want to feel vulnerable again

with him like she's really trying to

keep it locked down um but then

eventually Titan gets frustrated and he

kicks everybody else out of the

room um and he spanks her for

stealing um and

so she agrees to be his baby until until

the morning after the party so the party

is only in two days so they're like one

night two more days

like um so they keep like pushing out

this agreement um so he just

continuously edges her

until um she agrees to the whole thing

um and then he tells her to get on her

knees um my notes

say smoking the stone pillar I think

that means a

[ __ ] I think that

means it's your own

notes pretty sure just knowing myself

smoking the stone pillar is probably a

[ __ ] and then he [ __ ] her with his

tail more orgasm denial um because she's

still being punished for

stealing um so then he finishes in her

mouth and he's just really enjoying her

um and having thoughts already about

like he wishes that he had more than 48

hours with her mhm and I wanted to be

like but you could like you're the one

who made that

rule like okay like the only one holding

you back is you we're all out here

looking for permission from someone yes

you are an active participant in your

own unhappiness

it's also like you're a gargoyle and

this is going to be the the thing that

like we can't get past exactly well it

seems to be that it's like he's so

focused on his duty and like fulfilling

his mission and making sure that he's

there for his brothers that like he has

created a narrative where he can't be in

a relationship with anybody like so it

can only be temporary he should go to

therapy he should but he won't um um so

he leaves her in the bath he goes to

meet with his brothers um there is a big

fight about jules's involvement um and

they're saying like she's going to be a

distraction to you like you this isn't a

good idea we need you focused on the

mission and he says no one will get in

my way Jules is a means to an end she

doesn't mean anything and um of course

she overheard that she overheard the

whole thing my notes again say Jules

hears natch for

naturally so I was like did you misspell

snatch like I was like the [ __ ] you

trying to write no

naturally I told you it was going to be

a journey totes love the

Abes so anyway she's really upset but

she reminds herself like this is the

arrangement I agreed to I shouldn't mean

any to thing to him like this is all

temporary um she gets a call from her

mother who is harassing her about money

and like talking down to her and saying

like how are you even surviving right

now if you would just sign over your

trust if you would just drop this

lawsuit like we would take care of you

cuz her mom got together with her

manager

and so the two of them are trying to

like really [ __ ] her over not great so

at this point I must have had an

additional glass of wine because I start

referring to Titan as te- money so he

avoids her all day um but tells her to

get dressed for dinner um he flies her

up to the roof and she's like terrified

but it's like a kind of cute moment

where he's protecting her and they have

a really romantic moment and he gets her

to open up about the issues with her mom

um and how she was really exploited as

like a child actor and um her mom

essentially kind of abandoned her after

all of this um orgasms

ensue we love that yeah um yeah and then

now I start referring to Jules as

jar so the next

day are they porn stars is that I don't

know is this book just gargoyle porn

it's just gargoyle porn yeah okay porn

yeah I was I wasn't even going to say

anything I was just going to move

straight on and let you have it but I

love that you went back to ronce

porn por I don't know

why I don't know why I added additional

syllables to

it po anyway

the next day jar offers to help t- money

plan for the party and find the key

she's like I can help you like we can

figure this out together and he's like

absolutely not that is not your place

here your place is to get me into the

party you are not a part of this and

she's like cool cool cool this is a

transactional Arrangement and I'm going

to remove myself from this and I'm

guessing in his head it's because he's

starting to catch feels and like wants

her to be safe or no no he really is

trying to keep her at a distance like he

doesn't at this point have any feelings

towards her outside of I've I've read

too much smut that I'm like this is

clearly what he means right we've this

thousand times no he's like absolutely

not you're not a part of this it's like

that Tik Tok I sent you where like the

girl

was yeah so he like snuck into her

bedroom and stood over her with a knife

and then like oh my gosh and then they

fell in love and got married and she's

like no he got arrested for stalking and

she's like oh yeah yeah that's

definitely what happens there I I don't

read dark

romance I didn't think that was the

start to their love story no of course

not so they get to the party and Titan

is really struggling to

function um because he can feel the the

pole

towards the key so he knows the key is

there um and it's very distracting for

him cuz this is strictly supposed to be

like um a fact finding Mission yes this

is just reconnaissance they're not

actually attempting to get the key great

word um thank you anytime so then um

Jules of course is Flawless through the

whole thing um she is you know moving

and shaking she's mingling whatever and

she gets an invite to another party to

actually see the relics that this guy

has like another party on a separate

date yes okay so um not just like a cool

VIP section of the party like a whole

different day got it so this is not the

guy she went on the sugar baby date with

it's his friend that is hosting the

party okay and so the friend recognizes

her from her child star days and that's

how they get the additional invite um

and she's a little sked out cuz he's

clearly super into her in a weird way um

and so she is like but obviously if I go

see your relics is there going to be a

cage that you put me in sort of right am

I going to be a relic like am I going to

join the collection so

um uh so they are pretty sure that the

key is in the safe upstairs which is

currently off limits

um so she distracts a guard Titan finds

out where the vault is um but she gets

cornered by a former sugar daddy um and

she's in trouble like he is like calling

her names and he's starting to put hands

on her like like grabbing her throat and

stuff and like at like he's like

resuming a role of like an aggressive

Dum with her or like he's okay like so

she never actually went home with him

she only went on a couple of dates with

him and he's pissed that she refused to

go out with him again right okay right

so Titan is not in the room he's

upstairs looking for the vault but he

all of a sudden like can feel Jewel's

panic and he's like oh [ __ ] he's in tune

with her emotions he starts to be um

because breaks through like the pole

Haze um and so he takes off and he's

really panicked um because nothing

should distract him from the pole so

he's not panicked about Joel's safety at

this point he's panicked because like

what the [ __ ] is happening like how did

this happen um and So eventually he gets

the sugar daddy away from

her and then takes her to a

cave what

huh so he like at is the cave at the

party no he like wraps her up and then I

guess he goes into gargoyle form with

his wings and like flies to a cave where

he and his brothers used to hide before

they had their rings to make them appear

human okay uh-huh this is in Los Angeles

so I don't know you know those classic

La caves sure the ones we all know about

yeah the one everyone is aware of oh

that one the big one yes yeah yeah it's

on my list next time I'm in town yeah

haven't had a chance to visit yet and

the cave and in the big cave yeah um

quite frankly it's probably the number

one tourist attraction I know you're

going to have to plan it well so you can

actually see it you know you don't want

to get there

midday inundated um so she is basically

like baiting him like why did you bring

me here what are we doing here um until

he starts to choke her with his

tail and then he eats her out and then a

lot of like demands to like beg Daddy

for your orgasm kind of situation

yeah um of

course I mean what other type of sex

would you have in the big cave with a

gargoyle with the gargy because he's now

in Gargoyle form oh that's important

because then my notes say she begs for

that gargoyle

pen

um and he finally gives in he had been

trying to hold back cuz he was really

afraid he was going to hurt her um but

he finally gives in and um yeah [ __ ]

someone with a stone penis it's

something might hurt them it could um so

she continues to tease him because she

can tell that he is like holding back so

the quote I wrote is you're so desperate

to be daddy's little [ __ ] toy then grab

your

ankles so also how do you tease

Stone verbally

sorry okay all I needed to know thank

you for answering my question you're

welcome so they finally [ __ ] it's

incredible and then um oh I guess it had

just been tail penetration before it's

been all tails and fingers and

tongue okay yeah yeah um so then one of

Titan's Brothers shows up and he is

really pissed that Jules is distracting

Titan from the mission um and they

discover because basically like the back

story that we slowly piece together

through all of this is that a group of

gargoyles betrayed them and that's how

the key was lost and that's how the

Relic room was lost um okay

so and Titan and his brothers have been

under the assumption they are the only

gargoyles left that they killed all of

the ones that had betrayed them but they

find out that one of them is still alive

Maximus and um he is um going also going

after the key so they've been able to

sense that there's another gargoyle

around um and so um there there's lots

of panic about like how did he survive

where he's he been all this time and so

the brother takes juules home like back

to his

apartment so he just like hands a naked

jewels to his brother and is like I'm

going to go to

work have a safe

flight um how does how does Jules feel

about that

so I'm pretty sure that he had like

[ __ ] her into unconsciousness at that

point because she just wakes up alone um

because this is dual point of view like

that's all from Titan so I think that

she had been just like passed out

because then she wakes up all alone to a

message from her mom um who is asking to

meet up she's like I really miss my

daughter like can we please just sit

down and have a

conversation um so her mom says that um

the manager has been taking things too

far that like um she never wanted she

never wanted this like she loves Jews um

and now the manager is trying for a

conservatorship and this is where I said

#f free Brittney um also you were in

Vegas when you outlined this weren't you

yeah I was I was there were a lot of

Britney

Billboards yeah yeah there were a lot of

Britney

Billboards and I love her I just need

her to dance with fewer knives yeah like

no knives would be ideal but at least

fewer would make me feel

better bargaining and safety

planning exactly um so through this

whole thing initially Jules is like kind

of softening to her mom and thinking

maybe like the manager has manipulated

her but then she realizes that her mom

is recording the conversation and she's

trying to get jewels to admit to

engaging in sex work um so that they can

use that as like evidence that she is

not of sound mind to get the

conservatorship um because people

basically she went to this party

industry party most people don't

recognize her anymore but she was

recognized and so then now there's all

these rumors going around about her

being at the party with this guy um and

so now people are starting to talk and

think that she's a sugar baby like she's

kept it she goes by a different name and

like most people don't realize who she

is she couldn't have just been at the

party with someone she was seeing they

all just assumed well I think that the

additional sugar daddy showing up and

making a scene like caused the issue so

Jules eventually just decides to walk

out she's like I'm I'm not doing this

with you um but then Titan shows up and

he's like can I please help you like

listen one of my brothers already has

all the information um he can delete any

recordings they have any evidence they

have CU there's

also like pictures of her with Titan

where he had like thrown her over her

should over his shoulder and like um

pictures of her with various men

apparently they had a pi following her

for quite some time um and so he is like

please just just let my brother do this

for you like we can take care of this um

but she has to remind herself um I think

this is supposed to say temporary but it

says

democracy so this is all

temporary um and she is trying to stay

focused on fixing the problem at hand

okay right so Titan sends Jules on a

shopping spree um and he decides that he

is just going to go ahead fixed the

problem because this is partially his

fault she wouldn't have been at that

party like she wouldn't have been found

out in that way if she hadn't been

helping him and so he takes his brother

um to the mom's house to delete

everything and steal any hard copies and

everything um but then he starts to

realize that he has this

weird pull like sensation towards

Jewels um and towards protecting her and

he finds all the pi pictures that go

back even further than they realized um

like years and years and it fills him

with just an incredible amount of Rage

so the manager comes home cuz he and Mom

are together and so the manager comes

home and Titan refuses to leave like the

brother is like we got to get out of

here he's going to see us whatever um he

refuses to leave um and starts to

threaten him and says like you need to

just drop this this is enough

and the manager calls her a has been

[ __ ] and says she's not worth the effort

and Titan loses his [ __ ] and beats the

ever loving [ __ ] out of this guy um is

he still like actively her manager no J

isn't she's not she's not doing just

like her former manager yes yeah um so

um after they essentially leave him

very near death like he has really

beaten him um he tells his brother that

Jules can never know she had asked him

not to interfere and like he did anyway

because he thought he was helping and so

she can't ever find out about this um

that feels healthy yeah yeah and he's

like real bananas when he gets back to

the penthouse he's like freaking out and

she doesn't understand what's happening

um but

um yeah he finds her in the bath she has

her earbuds in and so he [ __ ] her with

his tail where she can't see him and she

also can't hear him cuz she has her

earbuds

in

um apparently the tail has some

sensation like his dick like it's very

sensitive um and then the my last note

for this chapter says ridged for her

pleasure so I'm guessing that the tail

is also rigged so that's

something is

it I thought it was

ripped is it rided Ruffles are

[Laughter]

riged so for some context my aunt was

moving and I was helping her move and

she had has a large collection of wine

and other kinds of alcohol that she

couldn't get rid of and she didn't want

to move with and so she just kept

pouring me Beverages and I just kept

drinking them it's a safe

space yeah I didn't know you felt that

way about Ruffles but it's the same

space

woo the next

morning oh my God

so I was telling Vance this the last

time I was here but I don't think you

were here when I was sharing this I also

had a very difficult time because my

aunt wanted to watch the Stanley Cup

finals while I was there and big hockey

girly apparently um Vegas was supposed

to be in the finals but they like fell

through at the last minute or whatever

so it was Canada and a team from Florida

and so um the lightning

I don't

know

because she just kept pouring me wine

and then I got so distracted because

I've read a lot of hockey romance in my

time yeah and they kept using words like

penetration and one of cuz the like

whatever and then one of the players was

named Heyman and I I was fully I was

taken out

I was like I'm done I'm done I'm

absolutely done and I don't remember if

I texted you or my sister but I texted

somebody about how nobody was going to

appreciate my commentary on the Stanley

Cup

finals and so I was trying to find a way

to keep it to myself

so was there commentary Beyond they say

penetration a lot and his last name is

Hyman oh my God I just remember that it

I had been texting Matt about it like

Chelsea it was not you or my sister it

was my husband it was my husband because

I remember being like listen I am

watching the Stanley Cup finals and I

not watching for the

sport I do remember that now and I'm not

watching for the I'm watching for the

pelvic thrusting during the warm-up

stretches 100% I was not interested in

the athleticism if I'm honest very

impressive no one is taking that away

from them no

what I care about when I'm watching 100%

so

anyway the next morning um Jules gets a

voicemail from her mom accusing her of

attempted murder she's like I know that

you sent those monsters here for him

like I know that you did this and

so she is absolutely livid that Titan

took this Choice from her after he

promised that he wouldn't interfere um

and so she leaves she's like my 48 hours

are up so I will see you next week when

we have to go to the second party

um and that's it um but then she gets a

message from her attorney saying that

her mom has finally dropped the case and

so her her trust is hers she no longer

has to work as a sugar baby if she

doesn't want to um and so um she like

goes out on her balcony and just like

screams like [ __ ] you like she's just

like relieved but also upset that Titan

did this and it's a lot yeah it's a lot

of mixed emotions in that moment right

you're like he betrayed my trust exactly

yeah uh you're like he also got me what

I've been working for this whole time so

like I'm mad at him but also grateful to

him and I don't know which one is

winning

so um Titan had been watching her um

yeah yeah he was worried that the

manager or mom was going to come back

for payback or whatever I like that I

just said yeah like of course like duh

he was watching her well like now that

he's had this

weird I don't know like now that he

feels drawn to protect her the way he

previously felt drawn to try and find

the key yes he's like well what else

would I be doing other than watching her

mhm yeah but

then he hears her like screaming and

he's like oh she is really really upset

with me I'm going to have my brother

watch

her I also have work to do

so her his his brother watches her for

the remainder of the week to make sure

that she's safe um and they finally go

to the party

um and whenever she touches him he

realizes he doesn't feel the pull

anymore towards the key H and he's like

well this is really odd um Jess feels

the pull towards her yeah but then that

leads him to say like after tonight

we're never going to see each other

again because you are a distraction like

for him the pull is information about

about where the key is and if he's on

the right track and like letting him

know that he's doing what he's supposed

to do and so the idea that she takes it

away is not a good thing um not a

welcome distraction exactly um so Jules

then gets cornered by a weird creepo guy

at the party um and she goes to the host

of the party for help who is the guy who

had recognized her previously and had

invited them back and so um the one who

also had a weird energy with her yeah

like a weird like fan girl energy with

her kind of um but she went to him to

the host for help instead of Titan and

um he takes her the the host takes her

upstairs towards the

Vault so that she can get some space um

and she is just really hurt by Titan's

lack of regard for her feelings like she

knows that he didn't owe her anything

but like he violated her trust by going

after her manager um and you know he's

so dismissive of her at this point and

so she whes up alone near the Vault um

and the Vault happens to be open because

the host was like going to show off some

of his relics to her and so he opened it

and then he got called Away by a guard

and she was like this is my chance and

so she slipped in and she steals the

key um and she just takes off um she's

like no one gets the

key I'm out but then the creeper that

had cornered her follows her from the

party and it turns out that he is

Maximus the gargoyle who had betrayed

all of them yeah and Titan didn't

recognize him because he was in human

form um so they could feel like stren

like energy of supernatural beings but

they didn't know who it was right so um

that is very inconvenient for them he is

very much so so he's also after the key

so he chases her um a fight ensues two

more gargoyles show up and Jules is

desperate not to let him get the key

because she realizes like she [ __ ] up

by taking it um if she had given it to

Titan it would be safe but she was being

spiteful a little bit and so she didn't

do that yeah like what was she going to

do with the key just have

it like but also she know she wasn't

going to be able to keep that his

whole purpose yes his existence is to

find the

key like what you mean this key that she

puts between her boobs is the energy it

describe it as like a a piece of of

stone that's like the size of a cell

phone that has like carvings in

it so it's in her

clutch um it's in her prison purse for

him to find later I hope not yikes he'd

probably be into that he probably would

um but as much as I am into the term

little clitty I am

into that situation for

them your prison purse is your business

Amen to

that um so

Titan

realizes

as Jules is already gone and Maximus is

leaving he then puts it together he then

like recognizes him and so he takes off

and he tells his brothers

like I'll get the key later because he

doesn't realize that Jules has the key

oh he leaves his opportunity to get into

the Vault um and he's like that's true

love it really is he's like I'll find it

another way like we just got to go so

then there's a major fight scene there

are like three gargoyles who

survived oh from previously and so

they're all beating the [ __ ] out of each

other everywhere and um Titan realizes

that Jules is kind of like it for him

like she is the missing piece um and

he's an idiot that none of it matters if

she's not with him right okay and like

then he puts it all together that like

cuz he had been kind of hurt that she

went to someone else for help when she

was feeling threatened and then um at

the party and then he was like oh I only

told her over and over again that this

was temporary and she didn't mean

anything to me so she was just doing

what I told her to do

whoops well isn't this the consequence

of my own actions right he's like oh she

just believed the words that came out of

my mouth like oh [ __ ] so I know we've

I've told this story before but my very

first date with my husband we closed

down a bar and then I invited him back

to my house to like keep drinking and

partying and having fun and hanging out

and I told him I was like hey you are

welcome to come back to my house and I'd

love to keep hanging out with you we

aren't going to have sex and you're

probably going to get blue balls just

wanted to set those expectations if

you're into

that follow me if you're not no harm no

Fabel we can like end the date here and

so he came back to my house with me and

like we talked about he's like yeah of

course I was going to follow you back

and I absolutely did not believe that

he's like I just thought that was what

you said to feel better

before you inevitably hooked up men are

foolish yeah and he's like look at you

actually meaning what you said and I was

like boundaries [ __ ] I said well

this gives me a lot of insight into your

dating history

my yeah he's like you said you weren't

going to have sex with me and then you

didn't have sex with

me yes you are

correct I meant what I said Bud yeah um

but did not mean anything he

said um Titan's like that's just what

you say

right so like this whole time Jules had

been trying to keep the key away from

these other gargoyles and she was like I

don't know if I can hide it it's in my

purse I don't know what to do right and

so um Maximus eventually gets jules's

bag um and takes off and she's pretty

hurt at this point like physically her

physically yeah like they they kind of

beat the crap out of her and so Titan

goes to her and she like grabs on to him

and she's like do not follow him like

please don't follow him and um he's like

I wasn't going to follow him like I'm

here for you um we'll get the key

another day like this it's just not as

important as you um and then his brother

show up and Jules is like wiggling away

from him and he's like what are you like

can you please just let me help you and

she starts crawling under a car and like

holds up the key and she's like I got

it so somehow as like all the brothers

had shown up and like the fight was

going on she took the key out of her bag

and hid it under a car as she was like

running through this parking

lot and so then she but then she kept

the bag with her and was protecting it

as if it had the key in it hoping it

would like trick them it's like her

child acting skills are really paying

off they really were can't underestimate

those child actors she nailed it um so

then um yeah they they win the day so

then uh he takes off um to take her back

home and clean her up and tend to her

wounds and everything and this is where

we finally get like Declarations of

feelings like okay I actually really

care about you I love you all that stuff

um and he tells her that she has earned

eared 20 spankings for stealing the key

but because she's injured he's going to

have to save them for later um don't

tell me with a good time right she's

like oh okay um so then she is not

injured enough for him to not [ __ ] her

against the wall so they bang

um I could have said that

better that sentence got away from me no

my thought was more of like okay so

spanking is the boundary spanking is the

boundary cuz I'm like I feel like having

sex pressed up against a wall is also

not like gentle sex usually no and his

tail is in her

ass

sorry well played Hannah well played on

that one yeah I

mean anyway is he spanking her with the

like I'm confused why that was the

actual limit like why spanking was out

but the rest of it is was out yeah okay

but the rest is fair game um but also

she's down for whatever he's the one

that's concerned about her being in

pain um but apparently not that

concerned um it is so funny just like

the wide range of books like those books

where you're like oh like a thumb in the

in the ass feels so like salacious then

another book where guy like

in her ass and he's like and I'm I want

to [ __ ] suck this then [ __ ] this then

come all over this and she's like do it

[ __ ] do it and then these other books

where they're like ooh that that's too

far wow my no no

hole I hated that I deeply apologized

don't touch my no no hole focus on my

little

clitty you did that you did both of

those

things Chelsea is hiding for those who

are listening and not watching zipped up

my quarter zip over my face oh she's

hiding oh my God that's so good

so um I do have a quote for you from

this interaction in which she says I

want you to fill all my holes Daddy when

he's like messing with her and then he

like I don't know shoves his fingers in

her mouth there's a lot happening

um so then they're in love and

everybody's happy about it so a month

later Jules that's it Jules is all

healed up and she's moved in with Titan

she finally gets those 20 spankings she

is about to so um I was making a joke

but I love that's actually what it took

a month yeah he really wanted to make

sure she was okay I guess so the strange

the Supernatural are all working

together um to find Max

and make sure the relics are protected

because now that they have the key they

can find The Relic room blah blah blah

so this is apparently a

series um everybody's fine at the end of

this one so you know but they don't have

the relics yet so I'm not going to lie I

have no idea what the [ __ ] the relics do

or really what the in it's never

explained they're just magic okay at

some point I was like wow I wasn't

paying attention at some point and

missed when Hannah

explained what this is ultimately

leading to um but I I really feel better

because there are sometimes when I'm

like trying to like process all of the

all you know like when I like Miss that

his [ __ ] name was Titan which is the

name of the book like that feels like an

obvious one to miss I thought you were

going to bring up how you missed that

one of the Weasley twins

[Laughter]

died yeah yeah I

did I was reading so quickly I like I

think I in retrospect like I needed to

know what happened during that fight in

but I was also anxious right right right

and so I feel like I was like speed

reading but in a way that like when

you're that young you weren't processing

yes and so it wasn't until my sister

spoiler alert I was like the [ __ ] you

mean one of the weasly twins died except

I didn't say the [ __ ] you mean because I

grew up in a very conservative Christian

house old you said what he said huh yeah

yeah wait okay so it's now a month later

she's about to get the 20

spankings yeah so she's all healed up

she's moved in with Titan yeah um

everybody's working on finding the

relics in the room Jules winds up

getting 25 spankings um because she

interrupted a meeting and intentionally

made tight and hard and then walked out

of the meeting and so she got an extra

five spankings for making him hard in

front of everyone have a hard time

believing she's only ACR TW an extra

five yeah I feel like she has enough

like brat energy that she should have

accured more over the month um but I am

not the Arbiter of that

decision um so then more you are the

Arbiter of your own

destiny hell

yeah um so there are lots of

Declarations of love and feelings

um my notes say sexy times abound and

that is the

end huh

yeah

huh there's

like enough plot that I have questions

that I would like answers to yes but not

enough for me to feel the story was well

rounded

yes you know what I'm saying mhm I

do so what's our uh judging scale

keys I guess stone statues gargo

gargo we could do gargoyles I feel like

gargoyles feels like what it should be

yeah we can do gargoyles um so for the

record I'm imagining The Hunchback of

Notre um mhm and animated cartoon

gargoyle yes you know mhm that's that's

the ones using for the rating no yeah

and I feel like that's worth noting when

we're talking about this rate like it's

not like there's like 5,000 of them

right it's like oh okay how many is this

going to be out of feels like single

digits um yeah I was going to say I

think five because they are five

brothers oh that's cute yeah um so I

think

uh two

because okay so there's a specific

reason it might have been a little bit

more maybe but the issue that I have

that really continues to bug me to this

very day is that Jules is human and

Titan is

Immortal and they never address like is

she going to have some kind of expanded

lifespan is this just like until she

gets old and he's over it like that's

never added author is setting themselves

up to write a whole followup series

which is where all of the original

Partners have died oh damn and now it's

so dark it sounded darker than I meant

it now the jwes is dead yeah and but

like now they they they're in the new

series they're going to discover some

sort of advanced magic that they didn't

know about before that will allow the

immortality so part of the plot will be

overcoming that trauma of losing the

person that they thought was their

partner yeah I mean I hope that's true

um if not Jillian if you're listening

this is for you it's a free idea pick it

up run with it or just keep all of the

current partners and let us know how

it's going to happen that feels a bit

easier you don't have to kill everyone

and write a new series we'd love to just

know maybe it's that they finally get

into The Relic room and like there's

something in there that saves them

you'll just have to read the rest of the

series I won't probably I mean I might

so the rest weren't out yet um I didn't

realize that this was meant to be like

an actual series and so the rest weren't

out um but yeah I feel like two two and

a half cuz there were like some plot

holes you know yes um so while like the

sex scenes were interesting and like the

premise was fun it was like it didn't

give me

enough to fill in all those questions

yeah you're

there are only so many holes you can

fill while not filling the plot

holes and on that note thank you so much

for joining us today rate and review the

show like subscribe tell friends we're

honored that you would choose to spend

your time hanging with us yeah we

appreciate you guys and um we'll see you

next time yeah bye SMUD bye well that's

it for this week's muts [ __ ] we hope it

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[Music]