Smut Club

well hello All You Beautiful

[Music]

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Elsey and

[Applause]

Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut

club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this

is the podcast where we are two licensed

therapists who sometimes daydrink

sometimes don't and review trashy

romance novels review romance novels of

varying caliber yes varying levels of

trash yes yeah um it's funny cuz I

joined like a Facebook group that's like

in my Kindle girly era or whatever I'm

like I'm very like I want to see what

sort of recommendations people are

giving and things like that and there

was one and the girl was like recommend

the smuttiest of the smuttiest smut

you've ever smutted a smut like I want

the dirt okay and then people are like

have you read Denna vipers and I'm like

oh this was the one that I was like

these are our people cuzz everything

else on there is like like a court of

thorn and Roses I was going to say were

they like a court of thorns and Roses

there's like two sex scenes in that

maybe or uh Lucy scores knock them out

is that am I getting that series I don't

know uh I think I think that's right I

feel like those are the general

recommendations so when it was the

smuttiest smut and going through the

list I was like

oh I agree with several of these and

then there were some I'm like really

that's not that smudy I was like have

you read altered by fire

have you read priest we haven't done

that one we haven't reviewed priest it's

on my list though yeah yeah we should do

that one soon we maybe we will maybe

maybe we will but what are we doing

today oh great question today we are

doing ice Planet

barbarians by Ruby

Dixon and Dixon being D IX o n mhm mhm I

grew up with a bunch of people that

their last name was like d i k s o n so

just in case you wanted to look this up

wanted to make sure you had the proper

spelling of Dixon because there's more

than one ice Planet Barbarian so we want

to make sure that you get the accurate

author information if I had a nickel for

every time I picked up the wrong ice

Planet Barbarian

series I would be

Nicholas nicholus

nickelby I'm so sorry okay anyway that

was a very Niche joke that I just made

for all our PBS girlies out there but

anyway I was going to say that's a deep

cut in the best way not mad at that one

at all okay so ice Planet Barbarian is a

dual point of view but honestly for the

most part it doesn't really yeah so we

start with Georgie she is from Orlando

Florida hey um but she has been abducted

by aliens sure yeah that feels like a

thing that happens in Orlando you know

you're not wrong but it does also seem

like these aliens were just like going

around the US finding just plucking yes

humans cuz there's like another girl

that the second book in the series is

about Liz I think she's from like

Oklahoma or something there are like 20

books in this series that's somebody

told me they they went to read the

series and it was like 19 and they were

like I might not be ready for that I

will say all of them well at least I've

read the first two so I'm making an

assumption here but they they all seem

to be standalones from what I've read so

I'm like no part of me feels as though I

need to you're not missing keep pushing

forward I'm like oh I can casually pick

up whenever I want and go forward and so

while it is a long series I wouldn't let

that hold you back because like this

book is like 180 Pages oh okay yeah

that's a nice easy like weekend read or

whatever 1,000% I like I read this one

and then I think I read the second one

in a day like just very easy reading um

but going back because Georgie has been

abducted by aliens and that is a bummer

for her

um well said I was just thinking um I

grew up with a Georgie in Orlando and so

I'm like hey girl like maybe I should

hit her up and make sure she's okay like

did you happen to do you know Ruby Dixon

hey G you're right

like youall have to let us know if you

get a response I'll find out cuz

Georgie's a very specific it is

actually well so Georgie wakes up on the

ship and the there are other women in

the hold with her and they're like don't

scream like it angers the aliens [ __ ]

does not go well yep we've been abducted

but we need to like be smart while we're

here sort of energy m well at least

they're not alone like they have like

each other I guess yes and there's one

girl I think maybe the first one

abducted Kira they uh installed a

translator on Kira's ear so they can't

communicate with the aliens but through

Kira they can understand what the aliens

are saying okay um which is how we come

to find like that they are human

Smugglers and this is their trade but

they actually have girls in like stasis

pods if you will so there are some that

like oh so these were like the main

cargo and then you just like saw us and

just went sure we'll take them as well

like they're it's like when you're at

the grocery store and you have your list

and it's like your meat and veg that

you're supposed to have and then you're

like you know what I would also like

some crackers and like you just pick up

you just pick up the crackers cuz you're

there you just fly over Orlando and see

what crackers are available

Georgie I feel like Georgie would be a

Cheez

It yeah that feels true I don't know why

but that feels that feels right in my

heart um yeah so we have Liz Kira there

are a couple other girls their names

they get their own books at some point

it doesn't really matter for now um but

the ship as like time is going on there

is increasing turbulence with the ship

and like there's a girl there's a new

girl at one point she cries and then

gets sexually assaulted by the aliens

yeah like really not a great situation

and Georgie's like hey guys there's a

lot of us and there's like two aliens

right let's band together and like we

can provide ourselves safety so then

Georgie kind of becomes like the de

facto leader of the group and by that

they're like working on like luring an

alien like

into their cell yeah I guess holding

area uhhuh and uh but then all the other

girls are like we are going to let you

take this ge's like damn it I'm weak too

like we're all like underfed and

dehydrated on this ship but sure so like

she tries to like to throw like the [ __ ]

bucket at him but it's like too weak so

it just kind of like gets everywhere

instead but as this fight is happening

and the turbulence is increasing you

just hear Kira go Detachment

commencing and then they just start

falling and then they're like prepare

for re-entry we're about to crash and

they crash on an ice

sure so the ice Planet barbarians are

not the people who stole them okay

different alien race so the aliens that

stole them were

basically like Pirates Who had extra

booty and they were like we're going to

sink so throw it over yeah like we we

got to cut the weight somewhere and we

we can come back if if we make it

through yes kind of like uh like Firefly

if you yeah a I know right that's

exactly I just got

so just got so wistful about it I tried

to get Vance to watch it with me cuz I

was like telling him how much I loved it

and I I just think like too much time

had passed and like he's like I don't

this isn't really Landing for me the

same way and I'm like that's a for you

Perfection yeah I'm like no notes except

on a couple episodes but outside of

those

no notes and we all know I'm obsessed

with Alan tud I was about to say Alan

Tuda can do anything he wants

anything as wash a oh okay well anyway

I'm going to get in a funk now so we're

on the planet so we're now on the ice

Planet mhm

and uh all they know is that like part

of their ship kind of got peeled back in

in the crash and so they like see snow

coming through it's cold they have like

enough rations and supplies for like one

week and they're like we aren't going to

survive past that and so Georgie's kind

of like she broke her wrist in this fall

at some point oh also she did manage to

kill the guard oh like I think he like

she got his gun and then like hit him

over the head with it cuz she couldn't

figure out how to shoot it but then just

like kept bashing his face in until like

the other girls were like hey girl he's

dead you got him yeah we're all safe now

thank

you so she ends up taking the dead

guard's

clothes and is going out to try and find

means of survival um and there are two

sons in the sky on this planet and so

the girls in the ship like what do you

see she's like do you remember Star

Wars they're like like Hoth and she's

like yeah but we're not on Hoth so they

just call it not ho is how they refer to

the planet the whole time that's really

good

not Hawk

yeah I'm not going to lie for being like

alien romance there are a lot of really

endearing things through it in a way

where like Little Star Wars

references it's just very cute um she

goes to find water and finds this like

warm stream that has like these bamboo

shoots and so she's like she grabs the

bamboo and then like kind of looks down

and realizes it's like attached like a

fanged fish that then like tries to like

whoops yeah so she's like ah this is not

going great and she like then gets

caught in a snare and she like the exact

quot I put it down me I'm just a

Floridian in a stolen space suit with no

weapons and a busted wrist I know how

this is going to

end

like she's like

I you know In fairness to her

like walking around somewhere and sudden

finding yourself attacked by something

with a lot of teeth and then stumbling

into some kind of illegal hunt trap is

very

Florida like that's very classically

Central Florida you know

it yeah you're not you're not wrong I

know it's really

unfortunate

I I've tried to rain it in but for a

while anytime I saw a Florida meme I

would just send it to Hannah but I was

like they also all felt accurate in a

way that I was like damn it the best one

the best ones are the Publix's ones yes

no doubt no

doubt uh I saw like a random ad out of

the corner of my eye that was just the

table scape of a party and I went went

this feels like a public ad it does it

was one like how did you know like

there's just an energy about public

table Escape there's a vibe to a public

right I'm like I don't know what you

want from me um so Georgie passes out in

the snare that captures her but she's

like okay so if I just got caught in a

snare there are signs of intelligent

life right on this planet so that will

maybe work in our favor we now switch

perspectives we meet

vectal v e k t a l

vectal okay how would you say it I

wouldn't say it at all

but but I'm like it's rude not to call

people by name

Hannah

well I feel like I would need to come up

with a nickname for

him because I feel like that's a

playground bully situation waiting to

happen vectal rectal is just on the

table he's 7 ft tall and has horns and a

tail I think he would just kick the

playground kid's ass

it's a fair point I still wouldn't want

to say it I think vectto can take care

of himself in that situation we're not

concerned for veto's well-being

really I mean hear me I am concerned for

his well-being I just also think he can

hold his own noted okay yes okay so we

care but we're not worried because he

he's got it he's very capable

noted he is the chief of his tribe

sure and so he owns he was the one who

set the Trap and is the owner of the

Trap he said it and he cuts her down and

then he immediately like starts VI like

his chest starts vibrating is he purring

for her yes he immediately his kooy nope

k h

UI K Hui okay some of the girls refer to

it as a

cooie okay but you're kooy uh

immediately starts resonating in him and

he's

like it's like been dormant inside me

for so long and it but it starts

vibrating when it recognizes its

mate and so it just like starts singing

when it sees her and he has he's like

this is a very flat-faced creature that

I found flat-faced creature at one point

he's like I find her beautiful flat face

and all

he's an alien Hannah they have different

appearance

expectations they have a lot of ridges

humans have very soft

bodies ruffles have

rges yeah they do and they are also

delicious

okay of all of the things we've

reviewed of all of the

books no no no

I'm looking at your face going but it's

not

flat like you have cheekbones in a nose

like I don't and eyebrows like that's

not flat I think eyebrows are pretty

flat no I mean you know what I mean I

guess like the little bone now I'm just

poking around my face you're brow bone

yes brow bone cheekbone nose bone chin

bone Yeah but I also say all things

considered those of us without

exceptionally Jewish noses I almost said

I wonder if he would say I would had a

flat face I don't think so I think uh in

difference of

races all humans have comparatively flat

faces okay the comparatively part is

helpful okay I'm on board

now I like that I had to throw that word

out even though the whole time like

they're separate races I almost said

like H I don't know that I would be

considered a a flat

facer is that being like a flat

earther

yes but more

anti-semitic okay we're fine

everything's fine we're good we're

good so Vel is like

I'm not quite sure what this being is

but it's clearly my mate and like we are

now attached and it is mine to keep and

protect and she is very fragile and

small and I need to take her to one of

the hunting caves and like get her warm

and like get her safe at this point see

to her right she's been in this snare he

doesn't know how long

yes so when when they get in the cave he

ends up taking her clothes off to check

her over and know notices that like

she's really smooth and hairless and

he's like except in two places on top of

her head and between her legs how

adorable like okie dokie the uh the

alien's experience of observing a human

for the first time was very endearingly

written oh okay yes where he's just like

huh isn't that charming and like on to

the next thing and you're like like lots

of curiosity and like

how adorable and flat-faced and you're

like okay thanks bro love you too not

quite the same but in the slightly like

minimizing capacity um we were having

some family Hangouts last week and then

I was talking to my nephew who's in high

school and I was uh we were just talking

about what he wants to do and be and

he's super into photography right now

and then I was telling him about the

Journey of like becoming a therapist I

was like well you go for your bachelor's

and then you go for your Masters and

then once you get your Masters you have

to do like so many supervised hours and

then this and that and the other and

then you can call yourself a licensed

clinician and this fool who I adore with

every fiber of my being just goes wow

all that for just a

therapist and I was like yep all that

for just a therapist all that to just

sit and

listen that's what you do

right all you do is just sit and let

people tell you things right you just

nod and say how does that make you feel

right and please hear me I was not at

all up like it one of those I'm like you

have no idea what you just

said Gless his heart yeah I was like

cool cool cool cool cool thanks bro I'm

officially no longer cool in my nephew's

esteem got it I don't know if I've been

cool in his esteem for a while but I

wasn't probably wasn't helping my cause

I think I lost out with mine when they

were like six and seven

probably yeah like in my head I want to

be the cool

ant I'm not though yeah I don't I think

that's just more in my like in my heart

what I want to be versus accepting the

reality of what I am which is I'm not a

regular ant I'm a cool ant like that's

100% if I tried to be the cool ant

that's the energy I would give nobody

wants that

um I my old boss when I lived in

Nashville her niece worked on our team

and I guess like our boss was the cool

aunt in their

family but was like super etchy and like

one year like bought all of them

vibrators for Christmas and didn't tell

anyone and just like let them all open

them sure and she just thought it was

the funniest thing that she'd like

pulled that one over and I'm like oh so

this is your cool ant

energy right it's like being like the

edgy cool ant right okay I'm like wow

feel like there's a lot of different

cool ant hats and like lanes that you

can choose

mhh I think you're right it's a choose

your own cool ant Journey yeah I feel

like some people play the cool ant where

they're

like I'll slip you a drink like right

like that sort of cool ant versus the

ones that are just like I don't know

feel like my ants are cool because

we can just sit and have like really

lovely conversations M absolutely that's

what makes them a cool ant not because

of like the bells and whistles just

because of like showing up and being

present yeah which objectively probably

isn't that like like that's the cooling

I want to be which is probably why I'm

not the coolant I'm like just sit and

tell me your feelings but how are

you and they're like tell me your hopes

and dreams Chelsea calm down

please whatever back to vectal so he is

inspecting her to make sure that she's

okay yes he's inspecting her to make

sure that she's okay he keeps noting

that how like smooth and hairy she is

and then he gets a whiff of her genital

region I wouldn't say she's a rouse

she's passed out uh but her natural

scent speaks to him and he just starts

going to town and just starts eating her

out so it's a bold open yes because we

now go back to Georgie who's like I've

had I've been having the weirdest dreams

lately I was abducted I'm have someone

going down on me right now and then she

like reaches down and like feels his

horns and she's like oh this is real

this isn't like okay oh this is actually

happening okay that the alien Smugglers

were also real none of this was a

dream um so he continues to go down on

her and she's like well this feels

really good and we're already here why

why stop him now we're just about to get

to the good part and then he finds her

[ __ ] and she like moans and he pauses

cuz he's like oh like what did I just do

that she like really liked and then he

like spreads her around her

[ __ ] and looks at her amazed and he's

like what like wow what is this thing

and is like very into it later in the

book he's telling the other men in his

tribe about it and he's like and they

have three nipples the third is between

their legs they're like what third

between the legs why is it there and

he's like I don't know but she's really

she really

likes okay that's weirdly cute that's

how most of this book is it's like I

don't want that to be cute yeah it's

like very begrudgingly yeah yeah so he's

just like Amazed by this third nipple

that sure yes and then he's like all

right I'm going to flip her over and

like we're going to mate now and she's

like what like you going down on me was

one thing who even are you yes I don't

know you I'm and so she like kicks him

in the chest and then it goes back to

him and he's like it's almost like she

doesn't want a

mate why did she why would she kick me

it's like she doesn't want me to like

mate her right now or something and

you're like you read that right my dude

yeah yeah good job consent matters it

does every

time um but then he also realizes and I

forgot this like at some point with in

this he has realized that she does not

have a kooy or a Coe or whatever it

is just every time you say that word I'm

going to get that weird smirk on my face

cuz I'm trying not to giggle every

single time that is a fair assessment KY

which

um the planet is uninhabitable if you do

not have a koi so like you will die over

time huh um which we like get more

detail about as the book goes on so it

is a little like clunky because you like

when it's his perspective you he's

talking about it and I'm a little bit

like I don't really know what this is

but there is more explanation later in

the book but he's like telling her he's

like I know you don't have a Koy but we

will get you one like and just talking

to her and she's like I have no idea

what you're saying we don't speak the

same language she's like your tone seems

nice I guess like right and so then

she's like all right well trying to

figure out how to communicate so she's

like trying to share her name and he's

trying to like give his and she's like

Georgie and he's like sh she she's like

nailed it and he's like VL and she's

like hapal and he's like close enough a

so they do get better with the names

throughout the book um it's also funny

because whenever it's from his

perspective and she's speaking to him

he's like what's this weird language

with no vowel

cuz I think their vowels are like more

like guttural if you will so whenever

she's speaking to him like you can

figure out what she's saying but it's

like written with like no vowels like

and like Words jumbled together but

you're like some [ __ ] like things like

that and you're like oh so he has no

idea but you can figure out what she's

trying to communicate a um her stomach

starts rumbling and he tries to give her

his Trav rations uh

which do not taste good she's like the

kindest thing I can say about them is

that they are disgusting she starts like

like puking and she's like I'm gagging I

cannot eat this and he's like but you

need to eat and she's like not that I

don't right and she's like I would love

some water and so then as they start uh

no no

wait I'm getting my my bits of the story

confused the food didn't taste good he

gives her water uh and then he gets her

all cuddled up in The Furs to to stay

warm and she falls asleep and like it's

a it's a nice moment where she feels

safe um as they're leaving the next day

he he's giving her a piggy back ride

because he's 7et tall and the snow is

very deep and he's like we'll just move

faster if you're on my back you weigh

nothing right we've got this y sorry

Vance didn't mean to hit my mic with my

hand I was trying to push my hair behind

my ear

whatever these things happen um as they

are going on this as they are leaving

the the cave and starting their Journey

she's realizing they're going the wrong

way and she's like no we need to go up

the mountain and he's like no we need to

go down the mountain and she's like and

he doesn't understand why she's so

adamant about going up there's all those

women up there like yes which like she

has no way to communicate to him at this

point but so they kind of like get to a

point where he's trying to get her food

and she's like okay once we get food can

we go back up the mountain

um so he's like no problem and that's

their compromise he is catching some

like smaller beast and is uh his people

eat their meat raw and so he's like

giving her what he thinks are like the

choice Cuts yes and he's like oh this is

like the best part and she's like no

what is this I cannot and he's like why

doesn't she want like he's just trying

so hard to provide for his mate and the

new love of his

life very cinnamon roll yes and she has

no

idea she just like sees him being sweet

but like like he gives her the food she

starts

gagging like whoops poor

guy

um they then go to a come like upon a

stream again and like she's like okay

well there's running water it's clearly

warm so like it should be drinkable but

then he's also watching her and is like

she has no concept of safety on this

planet and like the threats like he's

like I've clocked like three different

animals in different places watching us

on this journey and she has no awareness

and he's like even like the kids in our

tribe know not to like Touch the Water

right and so when she starts to go he

like pulls her back and throws like a

stick into the water and all of those

Fang eating fish just like descend upon

it and she's like whoops holy [ __ ] I

would have been dead in like 5 Seconds

yeah so he ends up throwing some berries

in the water that like apparently the

fish hate the smell of and it'll be a

while before the fish come back so

they're able to bathe and he like shows

her how to use the berries as like soap

as well um but then also when they get

out of the water she's like it's nice to

be clean but also it is an ice planet

and I'm very cold and now my hair is

frozen so not quite sure if the tradeoff

may have backfired a little bit yes but

also while they're bathing Georgie's

like oh wow I was unprepared for he he

has ridges everywhere didn't dawn on me

he'd have them on his penis as well like

he's just a rigged fellow a rigged

fellow

sure for her

pleasure as it should

be um so after they're bathing she's

like will you take me up the mountain

and he's like no and she's like all

right I got to use my my womanly ws and

she's like hey vectal do you know how to

kiss kissing is a New Concept to him a

very into it though I bet he's like

what this [ __ ] is the

tits hell yeah and so she's like jokes

on you I'm into that right and she's

like all right if you take me up the

mountain I'll give you more

kisses uh and he's like

okay she found the cheat

codes to the

alien I think it's a pretty easy cheat

code I was going to say maybe not just

to the alien but

like most heterosexual men I

think yeah any ego stroking or yeah

physical stroking is a

he is probably going to yield the

results you're looking for

yeah

yeah I was just thinking the fact that

my husband said this morning that there

are almost no problems that a little

dick can't

fix you

know I think

you also need to make sure to mention

that your husband carries like

half inch sized laser cut wooden dick

wooden dicks around and whenever

someone's having a bad day he just hands

them out and says it looks like you

could use a little dick and quite

frankly I bet it works it does yeah it

does like you can't be mad after that

you really can't it really does turn

your whole day around

yeah because it's also a story to tell

like cuz he'll do it really to anybody

for the most part so then that person

maybe they don't know him all that well

but they now have a story that they get

to

tell it's a good story I also feel like

then like you're in the club oh yeah

it's like you're in theck I've never had

a little dick for

Matt wait what does that mean that I've

never had a little dick from Matt wait

how do I get one like what are the rules

have a bad

day cry a little and front of him don't

do that that's too far he gets very

upset when other people

cry uh pinch your thigh so your eyes

water a little but don't release any

tears correct yeah that's it that's the

line let them well don't let them fall

that's so funny um okay where where are

we she convinces him to go up the

mountain with kissing but it's right he

is like we we're not going to be able to

get there tonight sort of energy so he

takes her back to the cave because her

teeth are chattering because her hair is

frozen because it's [ __ ] cold yeah

because they're on an ice planet and she

bathed in water which I remember like

going on a ski trip in high school or

something and like getting out of a hot

tub and my hair just froze

yep and that was really cold and my feet

were still in like very comfy water MH

I'm not I'm not made for the colder

temperatures I would not do well on an

ice Planet nope me either no I I could

do well in a ski lodge on an ice Planet

if there is a large

fireplace with maybe a comfy rug

situation hot totty moment yes yes a hot

totty and a nice rug with a fireplace

can solve most a lot of life's issues

yeah and then for the ones that don't

solve with that you have little dick as

long as you don't cry as long as you

don't

cry um so when back sees that like she's

shivering he's like trying to take her

back to the cave for the night she's

like I need to get up like I there is

urgency here that he's not understanding

so she tries to leave and or maybe that

I don't remember the exact timeline it

doesn't matter yeah it's fine she tries

to leave and he's calling after her and

she ends up like falling through some

snow into a like Cavern that she's like

okay this is there's a there's a

creature next to me now and she's

looking around and like there's a lot of

creatures in here she's like they kind

of look like

Wookies and then she's like oh like how

cute like they're like little puppies

and she like tries yep Hannah yeah no

they're not no they're probably more

like Gremlins after midnight yep and so

she like reaches out to like Let One

sniff her hand thinking that it's like a

dog and she's like oh more like feral

monkeys and just all start attacking her

until

vectal bust it through into the cavern

and saves her sure um and she's like

maybe I don't know a ton about this

planet maybe I need to slow down right

I'm like yeah listen I get having a

sense of urgency and like trying to

communicate with him and him not

necessarily getting that but also girl

he clearly knows how to survive on this

planet in a way you don't mhm mhm maybe

give the man a little credit right he is

your your faded mate after all sure you

don't know that yet I was going to say I

don't think she's got that yeah no no

she does not have

that so after he saves her he takes her

back to the cave and

uh catches some food for them and she's

like trying to show him like to cook the

meat over the fire for her and he's like

why do they want to burn out all of the

flavor but okay she's like making these

happy little sounds as she eats it so I

guess I'll burn the meat for that's what

she want if burned meat is how what

whatever makes you happy I will burn

some meat for you yes and he's like I

really don't get

this why do they want this flavorless

charred animal when it could be

fresh but anything for love am I right

hey sure right so she's showing him how

to cook the meat but and he's happy that

that she's happy and then as they just

have nothing but time to kill she's just

like pointing at random things and

trying to learn the language and have

him teach her what those words are and

then they run out of things in the

cavern um and also I guess with his

tribe there are people that are like

their job is being hunters for the tribe

so they have hunting caves set up with

supplies so when they're showing up like

there are blankets and there are things

like that in each of these places which

he's like yeah it's rude to not

replenish the supply before you leave

and he's like but I got a mate now and

she takes priority and she's so cold cuz

she's a tiny human and I will like steal

from all of them yeah he's like we'll

we'll come back and restock them at some

point but I'd rather give my mate what

she needs now but just in case you were

wondering what how there were supplies

and the caves are all pre-stocked gotcha

yes and that's like just part of their

culture it's not like these are

his correct personal things it's their

it seems like tribe the like they're are

kind of like hunting regions so it's

like cool if you're in this region

you're going to be using these caves if

you're in like that sort of thing and

I'm not sure I'm not sure their full

setup if they rotate who's in which

region or what have you but sure but

there does seem to be a system to it all

gotcha um but then once Georgie runs out

of things to point out in the cave she

starts pointing at body parts natur

which then they're like both getting

increasingly aroused right and he's

trying to practice self-control because

he's like I'm want to be

respectful she didn't want this before

yeah and

so she like tried like she I forget

exactly what she did but she like put

her hand on him and then he moved it and

she's like why is he like rejecting me

but then she realized that he was just

trying to be a gentleman instead um and

so she's like oh happy to make the first

move no prop Bob why didn't you say so

oh that was all right no no problem at

all I am happy to start this got you

covered Bud um and vectal is like okay

so this is a green light thank you now I

understand he's very into her boobs sure

who's not right I mean not hers just

boobs in general yeah boobs are great

they're very fun yes like I get why

people are so into boobs

yeah mine have changed a lot um over the

years of like having a kid and then my

boobs being like yeah we didn't really

exist pre kid and we'd like to go back

to how we were but the shape has changed

a bit sure we're all just trying our

best out here we do what we can yes um

but but regardless of what her boobs

look like any shape size really boobs

are fun boobs are fun yeah and they're

probably even more fun to an alien who's

never seen them before true

yeah was just thinking of them Steve

Carell 40-Year-Old Virgin yes describing

the boobs yes bags of

sand

what have you ever touched a boob

before

uh I

feel like whoever I watched that movie

with the first time I watched

it they were not the Target demographic

for that style of Comedy right and so I

feel like I never really like gave

40-Year-Old Virgin like I just think of

like two or three scenes and outside of

that I feel like I've kind of forgotten

about it in a way where I'm like I

should go back and rewatch that it's

probably I was like I can think of like

the boob thing

thing and then the um was it miso horny

in that one too was it see see I we're

going to have to go back and watch it

well then I was just uh R I was pivoting

over to role models in my head cuz they

have the whole like LARPing oh that is

really good yes thoroughly enjoy Role

Models yeah hey sexy like a chocolate

cup or

strawberry you want to know what I did

last night

I had a friend named Seth who was a

barista at the Starbucks that I always

went to and that was his favorite line

and so whenever anyone walked in that he

knew hey sexy like a chocolate covered

strawberry didn't matter I love it it

was the best and then but the people who

didn't know that they knew each other

would be like this Barista it's very

forward very forward I'm like no he also

knows their name no note he didn't say

that to you and that it's not because he

thought they were more attractive than

you it's because he's met them before

it's not because you're a regular

strawberry and they're chocolate covered

yes you too are a chocolate covered

strawberry everyone is in their own way

oh that's kind it was nice wasn't it

yeah I was about to get into a whole

fondue pun and then was like we can rain

that in we don't need to we don't need

to dip into other things Mano yes we

were discussing Chelsea wants to name an

animal

Mano and Hannah just

went okay why and I was like oh I really

didn't expect that level of judgment no

it wasn't judgment I was just thinking

like of all like

Mano of all the

cheeses you know what that sounds like

Hannah judg judgment no I'm just

wondering it's curiosity guda feta I

would name pets those as well yes I

would name my my pet

that Bri is too human

yeah too human says the girl with a cat

named Craig and a dog named

Brandon you know H

Touche on that I mean you have a Sophie

I have a Sophie and I have a Fred yeah

and an Annie and a Lizzy you have an

Annie and a Lizzy are the fat

ones they're [ __ ] is that why I

never hear about them I thought I could

name all of your pets

yeah yeah but I apparently they like to

hide from people okay yeah that makes me

feel better that I they just

occasionally like to try to [ __ ] up

Sophie but otherwise they just mind

their own business and they think Gizmo

is their mom so they lay on top of him a

lot does that smother Gizmo a little bit

cuz they now weigh twice what he does

and he doesn't have full range of

movement he doesn't considering his back

legs don't work so he just gets stuck

under them 16 lbs of one of them is 16

lb oh my God yeah 16 lbs of cat

yeah her belly sways when she runs

that's

Annie um I had a former youth student

whose cat was so fat that when they were

doing the Google

Earth what

if you typed in their address there was

like a big black spot on their

driveway it was their cat it was their

cat I don't know that um Annie is that

fat but she is pretty

fat yeah that is a

uh a super sized cat yeah which did you

see that the dude um who did the super

me documentary just died oh really yeah

no I didn't hear that he like died in

the last week with like cancer

complications or something oh man I was

like I forgot how big of a deal super

siiz me was when that came out mhm but

also in a way where like it was a big

deal because some people were like wow

eating McDonald's every day isn't

healthy it's not good for you I it's not

like I didn't know that that was going

to be the groundbreaking part that's the

real shocker here yes is that you know

100 million grams of sodium a day is not

something you should do I had a friend

who used to be uh the cow for

Chick-fil-A at the shop that he worked

at mind you growing up in Florida he was

always out on the street corner and he

was saying their shop whenever like the

person was going to take a turn in the

cow costume they would have them eat a

large bir fry DST and

salt oh to prevent the heat stroke yes

to prevent the heat

stroke and I was like dude this feels

like [ __ ] Florida dude nothing like a

17-year-old slamming a large fry that

just tastes like salt water at that

point like give him a Gatorade at least

or something like I'm like let's keep

those electrolytes up let's not just

like

retain oh my God

like what a while how did any of us

survive to get

out that's a separate issue

but but you know I also know a lot of

people that like absolutely did the

thing where they like got out did their

time away and like moved right back to

like have kids and look as happy as can

be and I got to say I'm happy for them

I'm very happy for them and no part of

me feels a strong desire to like move

back no at all like I feel like there

would have to be some pretty big things

with the Universe telling me that like

that was the move um but when I see them

just casually post that like like going

to the beach on a whim in the afternoon

I was like that was something I

definitely took for granted was just

being able to just oh I can just go

watch the sunset at on the beach every

night like oh that's not how everyone

else lives their life not even in

Central Florida we don't have that no

I'm like oh that does sound nice yeah no

and you're like and that's why I think

about it less than you do cuz I didn't

have that to fall I mean we were still

like only 3 hours from the beach so it

was a very easy weekend trip or whatever

um yes or even day trip it wasn't that

bad of a day trip really yeah um but no

not not so much on a whim really but

then the flip side of that was like

always living in the hurricane flood

zones 100% so like as soon as anything

was officially like coming our way

they're like

well you probably need to leave again

right like it was a tradeoff easier

access the water it always is but then

also the water has easier access to

you fair point just saying um all right

so they're playing the the body part

naming game I was like we were on boobs

and

we that feels on bar um and

oh yeah he's really into her boobs she

learns that his dick has like a little

like knob on the top um which like hits

her [ __ ] perfectly during so she's like

very into this and so he's thrilled

because they have now mated and they

just go round for round and as she's

like finally falling asleep she's just

like good thing we're different species

so I can't get pregnant oh honey right

just

that feels blindly optimistic well and

in his mind he's like we're basically

married now yes this is She's mine now

we've consummated she's going to have

all my Barbarian babies it is a

solidifying [ __ ] of of their future and

he's like she could be pregnant with my

kid right now yeah meanwhile she's like

just trying to get some alien strange

take a

nap yep like and and his his kooy won't

stop purring in his chest cuz it is like

so content which is very sweet um so

they sleep then in the next morning he

goes out to check the traps that he'd

set and in the snow he finds a human

foot and he's like oh [ __ ] that's why

she wants to get up the mountain she's

not alone right and he's like okay I get

it now I get it now we can move and so

cuz he like pulls her out and it's one

of the girls from the ship but she cried

a lot and so I don't think they were

that that sad that she was the one that

went off on an exploratory the crier so

she

died yeah it was just the foot I thought

I was like it's sticking out of the snow

and he like pulls it up that's what I

was thinking but it's just a foot well

they did

mention to be fair I don't remember

these details over say it's not really a

relevant detail but she's dead well no

but to your point they like cuz you see

the red hair and I think when I read

that they they he found the foot I in my

head I interpreted as like disconnected

from the body then like saw the body in

the red hair but to your point he could

have just pulled a

foot regardless he now knows there are

other other humans and they got to move

with some

urgency so they get up to the ship site

and when they get there snowballs start

hitting them cuz the girls have no other

way to protect themselves and J's like

stop [ __ ] throwing snowballs at me

and they're like wait you're alive she's

like yes I'm alive stop throwing

snowballs at me I brought help and he

has an amazing

dick

yes I'm imagining that's Georgie's

energy a little bit uh but it is funny

because they she goes in the ship he

ends up coming in the ship as well and

she's like giving them all of the Furs

and blankets that she collected um and

at one

point he has like the his kills on his

belt like some of the animals that that

he caught in the traps and one of the

girls is like can I have that like is

that for us can we eat that and so

Georgie goes over and like pulls on his

belt and it's like can can I have this

and he's like you want to mate in front

of everyone and Kira like translates it

and she's like no no no no no not asking

to [ __ ] you

just asking if we can eat the dead

animal he's like it's not that I'm not

into it I'm just a little

surprised and so then uh Georgie asks

for fire so that they can cook the meat

for the other

girls and he's like explaining to Kira

because we he realizes that like she can

understand him that he has to go back

down the mountain cuz like where their

ship crashed really isn't

anything right it's pretty bare so he

has to go back down it to get supplies

um then he tells Kira he's like look

after my mate while I'm gone and so like

as he leaves Georgie's like wait mate

what what do you mean

mate huh no come back what's a mate I

have I have some questions are you

Australian I just thought it was good

dick but but it's also funny because

when she ask for like hey can you make a

fire so we can cook the meat one of the

girls is like I'll suck his dick if he

can make a fire at this point like and

George's a little like back the [ __ ] off

she's like hold on if anyone is sucking

dick for fire here it's me I am the

primary dick sucker in this group the

primary dick

sucker number one dick sucker hey should

get

mugs sorry going to be in this smut Club

swag shop our merch store whenever we

have one number one dick

sucker

what what I was just thinking about just

like all of

like the random mugs that people get

gifted oh sure and then I was thinking

about using those on a worklink and

not realizing what mug you picked up

that morning and then your boss is like

what does that mug say and then

you have a meeting with HR later that

afternoon a little

toast nothing a little dick can't solve

right hey

um of course that only really works in

the remote work world I feel like you

would notice if you left the house with

it yes so if we do put put them in the

swag shop we should make them uh we

should make them the color of your new

water over there oh shart

truce I don't know why I just Vana

whiteed that because you know what you

won't accidentally take something that

says number one dick sucker and disch

charge ruse into work with you that's

true that is a conscious choice if you

take that into work with you it's also

not like you probably have that many

other mugs that are this color you're

not going to get it

confused well you might I might that

that would be a real bummer for you yes

yes it would but also you work at the

same place as your husband so he might

be walking around work a little more

proud little extra pep in the step you

know um so vecto goes to get fire

supplies and such and when he comes back

one of the girls is coughing and Georgie

is like do you have any

and he's like medicine won't help that's

the Koy

sickness um but once again they're like

so much of a language barrier cooties

yeah like coy coy Cy like what is this

um and so there there aren't enough

language skills to fully explain it so

we just kind of live in that confusion

but also as VL is like making like

cooking all of the meat he keeps handing

it to Georgie because he's like she as

small and frail as everyone else she

needs this food too but every time he

hands it to her she hands it to one of

the other girls because in her head

she's like he's been feeding me for

several days they need this more but

then he's getting more and more annoyed

cuz he keeps trying to take care of his

mate and she keeps giving away

everything that he's doing for her just

let me help you yes yeah um and one of

the other girls is

like Georgie just does he know like we

don't want to stay here like this is not

our end goal

and how do you think he's going if he

thinks you are his mate how do you think

he's going to respond to that and she's

like

yeah haven't you know let's get out of

the ship that feels like a tomorrow

problem only so much I can do we're on

basic survival right now can't worry

about the state of relationships and

getting off this planet and all that

other [ __ ] yes and so then when all of

the girls go to sleep for the night uh

vectal starts like trying to put the

moves on Georgie and like all of the

girls are giggling and laughing do I

have something on my head you itching

your head scratch I was scratching you

scratched it and made eye contact so

intentionally that I was like I'm I

can't tell if her scratch is that no

that big or if she's letting me know it

was really irritating me like I had a

hair there or something and I was like

do I have a hair but I don't think I do

anyway so the girls are giggling Beck's

trying to get it

yes and put in his head he's like well

apparently humans aren't as sexually

open as my people who knew like figuring

out my mate as we go but she seems to

not want me to mate her in front of

everyone we're more open people

um so the next morning as they're

talking about the rescue plan like all

the girls like cool so we're going with

you and he's

like it is a multi-day walk back to my

tribe if that is just me moving like I

it's going to take forever yes he's like

I none of you have shoes none of you

have clothes like none of you have

anything you need to be able to like

make this move well so George and I are

going to go back we're going to get

support and like get a bunch of people

from the tribe then we will all come

back and rescue you together so hold

tight until then essentially um which

the girls like aren't thrilled about but

what else are you going to do and they

get it at that point what's the

alternative really yes so uh vectal and

Georgie leave the girls behind and he's

like he's like yeah I took this like

winding mountain path last time he's

like I am going as the crow flies and

just getting as as clear through as I

can and he goes we're going to need to

stop for like just the night um and

we're going to stop in the elders cave

and when they go in the elders cave it

has like very smooth walls and it's like

this does not look like any of like the

other like manmade caves and he's like

yes this is like the magic cave that the

elders came from essentually yeah the

magic cave

yes they bone in the cave and then as

she's laying there after they've boned

and she's like what's that blinking

light and he's like oh that's magic and

she's like I don't think that's magic

and asks him to like help her like break

the ice wall and she realizes like it is

a spaceship that they are in

oh yes and so when they they break

through the wall and what was flashing

was like the control panel board and

she's like do I hit this button and turn

it on feels like good things never

happen when you hit the button but like

I think I'm going to hit the button yeah

she's like what the [ __ ] Choice do I

have right so when she hits the button

it turns on the computer as the system

is booting up uh we learned some things

about like vectal people are called like

the I don't know s AK

H sock I was going to say I think that's

sock yeah that's what I thought as well

okay um but they actually crashed on

this planet like

287 years ago or something like that and

there had been like 60 people on the

ship at the time um and some survived

but others didn't because of the koi

illness which we then

learn finally get some details about it

that it's like a nitrogen like gas

element in the air that's just like

inhospitable and so if you do not have

uh a what did they call it a symbiot is

like what the computer called it a Koy

um you would not survive so you and the

Koy live

in I don't know Harmony symbiosis so a

koi is Like A Parasite or something like

it's an

it is another entity that is like the

essence of life is what vectal and his

people refer to it as but it's also like

it it shifts your body chemistry a

little so you heal faster um things of

that capacity you are warmer so cuz I

think the computer ask like oh what do

you want me to set the temperature to

the human ideal temperature or the sock

ideal temperature which was like for

humans the computer was like yeah I'd

set it to 72 f the sock I set it to 37

fah oh

yes um so she's learning more about the

Ki and the the symbiosis and all of

these things and she's like okay these

are some helpful details to have

um the computer also says that like

pretty much once you're on the planet

like you kind of need a koi within about

like 8 days because your body is going

to continue to De compensate and

deteriorate okay

the ship can also do like linguistic

updates So it's talking it's able to

talk to VL and explain things that it's

able to talk to Georgie then it's like

do you want us to do a one-time language

update for you she's like yeah so it

like does a retinal scan and then I

don't sends a Power Burst it hurts she

passes out but when she wakes up she can

speak the sock language cool so then she

can communicate with her partner which

I'm sure and she can understand him now

so it goes both ways yes nice

so wouldn't that that would be a really

cool superpower to have to be able to

like immediately just like download and

understand any language now there are

like a couple moments where like more

modern slang right didn't necessarily

catch up

287 right years later but like they're

so the stock people are so far removed

from this that

like VL had no idea that their people

had crashed and like that is how they

ended up on this planet right uh he he

just knows this is the elder cave that's

filled with

magic but I'm like what was the magic

was the magic just a blinking light this

whole time yeah so like they their I

would imagine oral tradition like seems

like it went away pretty fast that it

was like they lost all of that yeah well

and I can imagine that if you crash onto

an ice planet and it's been almost 300

years right and if you were losing a lot

of people because they did not have a

kooy mhm that like having that like oral

history probably wasn't a priority right

initially I love that we're really going

into the we're like super into it right

now yeah it's good anyway the important

details of this book well now I'm

thinking like wait a minute wait a

minute how long have white people been

in America like okay well you know

actually

like okay our oral tradition probably

would have deteriorated if we didn't

have all the technology that we have

which clearly they didn't have the

resources for yeah technology goes a

long way with uh being able to like

maintain and preserve history yeah yeah

so when you live on an ice Planet feel

like your options are a little more

limited we have other priorities I take

it back I get

it well and I feel like that becomes one

of those things that like you're

probably is this folklore or is this

like our our real whatever so they she

gets the language update they make it

all the way back to his people his

people are like what who is what's this

yes like they walk into like the the

caves and a little boy goes mother why

is it so

ugly oh I that's one of the moments that

vector's like and I love her flat face

and all

incredible it really is cuz he's like so

offended for his M why is it so ugly and

Georgie's like wait you think I'm the

weird looking one all of you have

[ __ ] Tails like like excuse me you

horned weirdo yes one of the healers uh

goes to look at Georgie's wrist and

she's like I can reset it for you uh

she's like but you don't have a kooi and

like the way I am a Healer is like my

kooi has ability to like encourage yours

to work harder to repair and and heal

faster so she's like I can reset your

wrist for you but like you kind of got a

janky wrist until yeah until you have a

kooy you just have a janky

wrist um but then we're also learning a

little bit like Georgie is talking to

her and just understands more of how the

Koy resonance works and that like the

Koy decides and like you might not like

the person but it's also like you are

now mine and I am now yours and like so

one of the things that they mentioned is

that like once you have uh like

resonated with someone when you continue

to deny the mating it like becomes like

a more urgent sense within you and so

the fact that like she doesn't have a

kuy and it took them so long to make

just learning more of those details so

she's more understanding now that like

this self-control that he had and like

the respect that he was showing took a

lot more intention and energy maybe than

she was giving him credit for and like

is maybe understanding his behaviors

more yes I think I think understanding

like the I was caught in a snare and

then when I woke up a man was like we

will be together forever right a man

with horns and a tail and blue skin and

ridges on his [ __ ] like Hey what how did

we get here yes and so this is also

where like veal is telling the men in

the tribe about the human women and

they're also really excited because it's

a harsh planet to live on and their

tribe is not huge at this point right

and so there are I think about like 20

adult males that like are essentially

single and there's like four adult women

in the in the whole tribe so they're

like wait there's more

women sign me up I'll put my shoes on

right now I volunteer his tribute to go

on a rescue mission

um but when vcal is describing the human

women he goes they have no tails and

their mouths are small and they do not

have fangs they cannot eat fresh meat

they must cook it until it has no flavor

and a third nipple on her

sex like this

is what a description thanks

buddy which I think it might be in the

second book that uh the dude he's like

oh here's the third nipple he was

talking about and the girl's like say

say what now I found it she's like did

you just call it a

nipple it's

not

oh um when like technically he's not

wrong about any of it but it's not it

doesn't feel

flattering no 1,000% but he's like finds

it so endearing and he's like she's a

he's like she's such a unique creature

like I still find her beautiful it's so

sweet honestly when he gets back to

their cave uh Georgia Georgie gives him

a [ __ ] and he is very into the work

that human mouths can do I imagine the

lack of things really improves The

Experience he's very into the work that

human mouth can

do number one dick

sucker he's very into the work that

mouths can do feels like the magnet

fridge

poetry of someone be like try and put

[ __ ] like they don't have the words

for it okay how can you write blowj job

with the magnets you have very into the

work mouths can

do hey babe what that mouth

do so as they're in their like

postcoidal

cuddle Georgie's like your your purring

has stopped and he's like oh yeah like

it's very content after we mate and so

it it Qui it quiets for a while and he's

like but it'll stay once we have a have

a kit of our own and she's like a

what the [ __ ] you mean a kid we're

different species who needs birth

control we're different

species Panic U yes and re's like the

Koy always chooses a fertile female like

and she's like wait so it's not like

this is your soulmate it's like this is

your fertility mate is kind he's like

yeah you know a little like that and

she's like what the [ __ ] so I could be

pregnant right now and he's like yes so

excited he's like all of my dreams have

finally come true read the room veal oh

my God he

cannot oh but she also like gets it cuz

at one point she's like it's hard to be

mad at someone who doesn't understand

why you're upset you're like oh you're

not wrong yeah she can still be upset

just not at him he didn't do it on

purpose exactly like it's just the way

of the people and the customs and and

the things so the next day or however

long it takes them to get back to go

Rescue all of the human women when they

get there the women are in rough shape

like one is like pretty much in a coma

none of them can really move it smells

horrific I'm sure right um and so the

the men come down and are like helping

to try and like take care of them and

get them warm and making warm broth and

things like that and someone starts like

purring and they're like who the [ __ ]

just resonated but like no one will own

it awkward they're like but they also

know that like the women might not want

to stay and so from Vil's perspective

he's like yeah it's kind of an awkward

situation to be like this is the person

that my soul Longs for who is now my

essence of being and they might not want

to be here so like maybe I'm not going

to tell them quite yet I think it's more

like their impression of

it um so Georgie is talking to the other

girls and is like

listen these are our options we can we

can stay with them we can go back to

their tribe they will like accept us as

their people we can fight like or we can

try and figure out a way off the ship

like and off the planet at this point

like so with no sources and no ship and

no anything and the threat of like those

traffickers coming back well and so

that's the whole thing is like the girls

are like do you like we couldn't we

can't we can barely stand up let alone

defend ourselves let alone not even

defend ourselves go on the offensive

right right and they like we think

staying with with the blue alien tailed

people sounds like a solid choice at

this point comfortable with that yes so

then George is like oh veal forgot to

tell you so I know you were really

excited about rescuing these five women

we got like another six in the stasis

pods hope you're not mad and he's like

why would I be mad I'm ecstatic our

tribe is

thriving he's like listen our potential

mate op options have like tripled like

this is fantastic 1,000% he's like I see

no issue the biggest issue is

transporting everyone back we can do

that no skin off my nose happy to yep

like Piggy backs all

around

heyo then as they are working on like

getting the women out of the stasis pods

um vectal is explaining that they're

going to hunt a beast called a

SOS I don't know sure felt a little

russan um a little bit Yeah essentially

it's a giant beast that's filled with

kooy so whenever you need a c like you

have to kill the beast but then like

there's enough kooy for everyone who

will need one it's not like you have to

kill

all um but they also say that like when

uh they have kids that like their kids

will need a kui as well and so they

whenever there's a new birth in the

tribe they go on the hunt to kill one so

that the child will

survive because you know nitrogen in the

air gets a little right well I hope aui

is not finite a finite resource I was

wondering that yeah and there you know

I've only read the first two so I guess

there are 19 more books for me to

discover if they're there's a a kooy

shortage yes I'm like are they mating

and reproducing because I hope so what

happens if you kill all of the

Sak such a hard K I really

try you nailed it um then as this is

going on there's like a high-pitched

wine and Kira like claps her hand to her

ear where she has the translator and

then collapses oh and then like all of

the women are wincing and then all of

The Trackers that they have in their

arms from the OG aliens start like

lighting up and they're like we need to

get out of here the aliens are coming

back MH um people are like bet you're

you're coming with us no problem at all

let's also maybe cut those trackers out

of you and so they all leave and they go

on the hunt for a

Sak love it every time and each

pronunciation is a little different it

just they all have a hard K on the end

that's the only consistent thing starts

with an s ends with a hard K SOS nailed

it I feel like I would say that in

Europe and just get punched in the face

accident

yeah like what do you say about my M

like insulted someone's mother 100%

absolutely so they get all of the women

and they get the trackers out of them

and they go and hunt the giant beast and

then they kill the giant beast and then

koi essentially look like glowing worms

so it's like a parasite like organism um

that enter you through they like like

vectal like cut like puts a little cut

on Georgie's neck and like that's how it

enters so she doesn't eat it okay it

just Burrows and I don't know if if if

burrowing is

worse burrowing feels

worse initially but then also you don't

have to

swallow I heard

it I really didn't

think I didn't think you know end of

sentence no comma yeah yeah

yeah so all of the women get a kooie

sure and

then vectal and Georgie have their

solidifying [ __ ] is like actually being

fully resonated and mated um she

introduces him to doggy style which most

of the time they don't do because they

have tails right and he has that little

nub on the top of his dick so she loves

the little ass play action and he loves

it as well and it's something that he

never thought was an option H right

because he didn't think any of this was

an option until like 4 days ago right

and then his life changed cre with new

Anatomy yeah then as they're [ __ ]

they see the alien

spaceship come over and then leave cuz

the ship was

empty and now they're here for good the

end

wow wow yeah what a journey you're

welcome yeah

yeah okay what are your thoughts as

someone who did not read

that um my first thought is every time

you said Koy all I could think was Kio

colani which was

the the last queen of the Hawaiian

people which is not relevant so great

trivia fact though thank you yes um

so there was that do you have question

questions I mean

yeah duh I mean I don't feel like you

could hear a synopsis of that and not

have follow-up questions that is fair

like does everybody live in one cave was

the cave they entered like a little town

or a village there are more details that

I just like didn't necessarily go into

where it seems that there's like one big

like Central cave and then there are

like little pod caves that are like

where people live individually but there

is like a community area that has um

like a river running through it a creek

sort of thing so they have a place to

bathe and gather and things of that

capacity okay okay well that's good

yes but also there're probably other

details that like we won't learn about

until Book 15 well I also am wondering

if George she is pregnant she is oh okay

yes I mean I assumed um but what I found

interesting because then read the second

book which is about Liz who's like super

snarky and

honestly I didn't find her that

endearing like I enjoyed the book but I

like didn't love Liz

um she gets pregnant as well because

pretty much you resonate and then if you

start [ __ ] you're going to get pregs

is the energy it's giving but then we

learned that their uh pregnancies are

like 35 months long Jesus

Christ yes and I that is where I have a

lot more questions that I don't have

answers to me I had questions about like

the compatibility and like what does

this alien pregnancy look like and what

does that do and what is the birth like

and like what's a hybrid like and all

that [ __ ] right but 35 months I feel

like I don't want the answers to any

other questions well and also Al you got

to think how quickly was Ruby Dixon

dropping these books in the series

because if it takes 3 years and like all

of these books are like back to back

where they're initially meeting I'm like

how long before we actually see a

pregnancy all the way through it could

be book three find out what a little

hybrid looks like yeah valid questions

okay what is our rating system for today

though um worms

when you when you said that for some

reason all I thought of was

um the office when Kelly is

like wants to lose weight yes and she's

like I hate this thing inside me when

she's like Creed gave it to me he's like

that wasn't a tapeworm that wasn't a

tapeworm that honestly I was thinking

like so they're they're eating a

tapeworm like yeah that was kind of yeah

but no the tapeworm is just burrowing on

its own

I don't have a different I don't have a

better word than burrow but it does feel

worse somehow yeah um okay I think worms

are a great option yeah let's go like

out of

like 500 worms worms are very small

that's true and I don't know how many

are

[Laughter]

inoc but I probably not that that many

we can go out of 100 okay

okay I would probably go like

55 okay maybe

60 okay I think I would maybe go yeah

like 55 to 60 we can 57.5 worms oh no

not a half 57

worms 57 worms I'm comfortable with that

57 out of

100 c

worms sure they glow worms cotie worms

circle circle dot dot I got my kooy

shot I also was thinking about ringworm

really repeatedly in the whole time you

I was

like let's not do that many ring worm

that would not be ideal that's

horrifying yes um but honestly I it's a

very endearing yeah read it sounds cute

yes cute and kind of fun and like a

little different yeah I I haven't

necessarily read anything exactly like

it it was very

Charming uh and sure there are moments

where you're suspending belief but

like you got smuggled by aliens onto an

ice Planet you're suspending belief from

the jump right right so I would

recommend reading it I do think it is

charming I think that there's a lot that

like I couldn't necessarily capture that

was cute but would actually recommend

commend the read if that is a genre that

that you are into and actually quite

frankly even if you aren't someone who

like has historically read like alien or

Monster smut or or things of that

capacity I feel like this felt very like

approachable yeah like very like entry

level yeah yeah so if you're interested

in exploring yes exactly if you're like

oh I'd like like I've never read

anything in that genre maybe I would be

interested this is one to try it on H

for sure

all right and if you don't like it you

don't need to read the next 20 in the

series yeah you can cut your losses you

can stay where you are it was it's like

180 pages that it is a quick read it is

low investment yes absolutely yeah all

right well let us know how many kooey

worms don't know why but every time it's

just something about the words uh how

many worms you would rate this book

don't forget to like And subscribe on

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thanks for coming and hanging with us

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us yeah we appreciate you smut [ __ ] we

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[Music]