EP 61: Knot So Lucky by Trilina Pucci

well hello All You Beautiful

[Music]

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Chelsea and

[Applause]

Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut

club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this

is the podcast where we uh daydrink and

review romance novels of uh varying

quality yeah I feels accurate yeah I

mean cuz some books we read and I'm like

this book slaps I would read it again

100% and then I think there are some

books that like were like I started

reading this and as soon as I started

reading it I started outlining it

because I knew I would review it and

could never look back right this is not

when I was going to reread for the Pod

this was happening one time yeah yeah

yeah de had those books where you you're

like sure I'm just picking up this

random one and you're like oh my God I

need to outline this

immediately like it was on a random list

on Tik Tok somebody like held up the

cover and I was like that looks

interesting and then I'm like nope I

made a mistake but I'm In Too Deep we

all right I think we've talked about

this a bit before because yes there are

those books that I'm like as soon as I

start reading this I start outlining it

but I think I've also finally started to

give myself freedom for just being like

this book blows and I don't want to like

this isn't bringing joy to my soul I

don't want to finish this yeah and I

think historically I would just be no

like you owe it to the author to finish

the book and then sometimes I'm like oh

my God I've been reading for days and

I'm at 20% of the way through painful no

yeah it's not worth it can't do this

well uh like Kristen Ashley I've

read probably 25 plus Ashley yeah well

and I feel like there are just some

series that you like you can pick them

up very casually and her series will

then have like seven or eight books and

so I'm like it's it's over time right uh

but there are also some Christian

Christen Ashley books where I'm like

this is um a little too long- winded for

me where I'm like we are 150 pages into

a 600 page book and nothing has happened

yet like I I I can't yeah please stop

asking me to well and there have been

times when like if it's in a series like

that where each one follows a different

couple or whatever but there's stuff

about the overall storyline you need for

the next one I'll read like the first

and last three

chapters and I'm like I feel like I got

it like I got the IST that's fair

yeah and I do feel like most books give

you enough of a refresher yeah unless

it's

like a series like a mafia series where

each book is like 180 pages and it ends

on a cliffhanger and then the next book

just starts and they're like we expect

you to know what you're getting into we

will not be going back right yep um but

today we actually have what I've I've

never read fourth of I smut before me

either I'm excited but I love smut for

every

occasion so if you're looking for um

some patriotic smut this is our sparkly

holiday

smut and I will also be clear it's

really not that

patriotic I'm good with that it's like

it starts on 4th of July and that's why

we're here that's why it's 4th of July

duh good to know right so all right we

should probably tell you what the book

is today we are reading not so lucky um

not is with a K like tying the knot um

by trilina pooie and before we turn the

mics on we had a very long conversation

trilina if we are mispronouncing any

part of your name please let us know we

assumed poochie like Tucci CU then we

had a very long conversation about how

wonderful Stanley Tui is shout out to

Stan would love to have you on the show

whenever whenever you want to read some

SM schedule

whenever you're rolling through North

Georgia holl at your girls we're here

we're here for you and we are very

willing to review trashy romance novels

with you um okay so not so lucky is We

are following Eleanor and crew are the

are the two main characters here it's

dual point of view for a lot of the book

like it doesn't really necessarily

matter that it's dual point of view but

there are points where I'm like okay

this goes more prominent so we are um

opening with Elanor Elanor is on the

phone with her sister Samantha um as she

is leaving a hotel looking a hot mess in

a dress that the buttons have been torn

off and uh the ultimate Walk of Shame

right right kind of energy I'm telling

her sister how the night before she uh

got drunk in Vegas married crew Matthews

who's the quarterback for the Vegas

Raiders sure yeah uh and her sister's

only response was are you trying to

break dad's heart he's a lifelong ners

fan I'm like I love the priorities here

yes yeah so she's like listen I I

married crew Matthews [ __ ] his friends

and now I'm I'm headed back to my hotel

[ __ ] his friends yeah they're uh

they're all willing to share noted yeah

oh so is this a reverse Harum no okay

all right it is not a reverse harm just

some people who like to have a good time

okay right sure yeah so we that's where

we open and then we like rewind for a

little bit of additional context to the

day before um where it is 4th of July

Elanor is flying into Vegas um from the

bay area in California okay is that San

Francis San Francisco yeah

I accidentally spilled some vodka

already listen I've never lived in

California I also grew up in the Tampa

Bay area there's a lot of bay areas

Hannah why why is that your because I

just started thinking about sitting on a

Dock of the Bay by Otis reading because

he says in there he's on The Frisco Bay

um no I just got very I started thinking

of Anchor Man and San Diego

go and then like when he's like and this

is what that stand was it whales vag yes

yes I'm pretty sure it doesn't pretty

sure it does like that's and then I was

like I am getting very off track and

getting my city SK we're in the weeds

for all of it anyway they're in Vegas

but she's from the Bay Area uh she is an

esthetician who was working on opening

her own Salon oh yes um so they get to

Elanor and her bestie Millie get to the

janky ass motel that they booked uh and

it is creepy as [ __ ] and Elanor is like

Millie what the [ __ ] like you're the one

who booked this place like and we need

to find a new place and she was like you

went through a travel agent and Millie's

like well like she's not really a travel

agent she's more of like a travel

blogger I saw her on Tik Tok she made a

video about which hotel to stay at based

on your star sign and you know I'm a sad

Arius oh my God Hannah if you ever

booked a trip for us and said I booked

this hotel cuz you know I'm a cancer I

just can't help

myself well I what I would say is I

booked this because you're a Cancer and

I'm doing this for you Hannah you were

born a day before me we are both cancer

I know but I would make it your fault

Chelsea you're just feeling extra

cancery right now so I booked this for

you you know you can't recognize the

support I'm giving because you're a

Cancer and I can give you Grace for that

I think and I could be wrong here but I

think that's what they call gaslighting

I was going to say yeah yeah no I heard

it please don't Gaslight me about future

hotels outside of that we'll be good but

the problem is that it's 4th of July so

so everything is booked and they they

can't find another place um they end up

going out

dancing um because that is what they are

there in Vegas to do is to live the

Vegas fun for Fourth of July weekend

right have a good time yes and as

they're uh at the bar ordering their

drinks like a super like cute guy comes

up on one side of her and then a super

cute guy comes up on the other side of

her and she's like looking between them

and it's like oh like is this the part

where I'm supposed to choose and they're

like why choose

sure strong opener yeah yeah yeah um

this is now when we're going to switch

to Cruz perspective and our introduction

to him his buddies are waking him up his

buddies Nate and TJ were the dudes who

were on either side of Elanor got it in

her mental image he is very hung over uh

but like recalling last night and he's

like they're like do you remember what

happened last night he's like yeah I got

married and y'all [ __ ] my wife we all

like what a way to wake up well but he

woke up late because his trainer is

there because right he's an nete yeah

he's an NFL quarterback she's a Tiny

Terror named Claire that they are all

completely terrified of I love that yes

it always makes me laugh um and he finds

a note from Elanor that like

has her number and her location and is

like I want a divorce call me love you

bye yeah so he calls his laer and he's

like you're you're going to work for all

that money I pay you today his La is

like are you [ __ ] kidding me but then

his lawyer uh his lawyer's name is Josh

Josh's sister is Barrett who is a cruise

agent and so Josh is like did you tell

Barrett yet he's like no got to figure

that one out she doesn't need to know

really surely this won't impact anything

be like a quick and dirty enement nobody

has to know you're like de not my agent

this can stay under RPS those Vegas

chapels aren't like super Johnny on the

spot with the paperwork I'm sure we can

like before they file it you

know I have a friend who is a

photographer here in North Georgia and

she just shot

um in a lopment in Vegas oh cool in the

photos where I'm

like damn it those are cool wedding

photos yeah I'm like this couple's just

so cool like I'm like I've never looked

at someone's wedding photos and

explicitly thought God damn they look

cool

like like I've obviously looked at I'm

like they're so beautiful I'm like right

I'm like dang these people look like a

Vibe yeah I don't think I have either no

no I don't know if I could have gotten

married in Vegas I'm I'm sure I could

have but when I was asked to leave a

casino once and I've been afraid to go

to a casino ever since then and it's not

that great a story but I was

12 and I was there visiting my uncle who

lived in Vegas and he really wanted to

place a bet on some ponies and me and my

sister were not allowed in the area

where you place the bets so just left us

on the floor of the casino and I was 12

and I wanted to play nickel slots and if

there's one thing you shouldn't do in a

casino when you're underage it's Play

Nickel slots so we were asked to leave

and my uncle was

banned from the

casino I mean I I kind of get why

yeah but you weren't banned from the

casino no but I have like this core

memory of like I can't go back back

there I saw this post online where this

guy's like yeah met this dude who like

apparently got banned from a bar in 78

and it was like surely like that doesn't

still stand and he walked in recently

like get the [ __ ] out of here

Dan God damn it Dan you know the rules

I'm like that's you and this casino even

though you were 12 and they were like

clearly this 12-year-old's not at fault

but you're like I can't get married in a

Vegas I could never I could never by an

Elvis impersonator because one time I

played nickel SLO as a they don't have

Elvis impersonators anymore you can

bring your own you could bring your own

but the them have them at all no there

was some licensing thing maybe it got

resolved but a few years ago there was a

licensing thing they they weren't

allowed to have elice impersonators in

the wedding

chapels B

yoe yes anyway all right so he [ __ ] you

all [ __ ] my wife and then we see Cruz

little flashback the day before where

he'd been meeting with his agent Barrett

about the transition to the 49ers so he

is switching from the Raiders to the

49ers and his besties TJ and Nate will

be joining him um but this deal has been

set and his agent's like listen no no

more media scandals like keep keep your

head down and we do like we find out

kind of throughout the book I don't

really remember exactly when it's not

the most important but like I guess like

with crew as the quarterback the Raiders

had like lost a Super Bowl and he was

being interviewed by ESPN and went off

on how much of a dumbass the owner of

the team was nice yes in a way that it's

like yeah maybe uh maybe another team

would would be a better fit for us here

right it's time to transition so as he

is talking to his agent about all of

this he's like getting texts from uh

Nate and TJ that's are like you need to

like meet us at the club like we got

some wild ones like there's this one

girl that like she is

like mint and he just goes dibs have not

seen her text text them dibs before he

has even made it to the bar uh when he

gets to the bar though and like gets to

where they're all hanging out his eyes

lock with her as she's the one who's

like dancing on a table with a champagne

bottle with a sparkler flying out of the

top it's like very much the the party

she trips falls into his

arms and he's like I am about this right

yes this is

fantastic um so the two of them are very

like locked in with each other and kind

of flirting all night and they all end

up on a party bus and he's like you you

should come home with me and she's like

well sure what are you

offering oh we're bargaining now got it

so she stands up on the party bus and

goes hey he's saying I should come home

with him anyone else have a better offer

like what and so like one of the dudes

TJ is like I'll I'll lift a boom box

over my head like react say

anything and Nate's like I'll get your

name tattooed on my ass and crew is like

marry

me right and that's how we got here and

this is how we got there so now back to

present um Elanor is looking a hot mess

but she finally gets back to her hotel

but also in like the true tragic walk of

shame I was going to say Walk of Fame

but no Walk of Shame oh uh yeah I

remember once going to Austin over a

spring break with a friend of mine mhm

and uh there had been this like huge I

guess like annual party that happens on

Greek Road there and we're driving down

Greek Road the morning after and I will

never forget this girl was wearing like

a neon tank top and a fanny pack

like hair all a

skew just limping down in a way that I'm

like I don't know if me stopping to ask

you if you need a ride um would make

this better or worse for you yeah I was

like because I was like this we might

end up being those people in the story

that you're like and then I looked so

tragic these weirdos these weirdos

driving down the street asked if they

could help they banged a UI to come ask

if I was okay

to be fair she looked more like right of

passage Walk of Shame home not uh like

injured yeah not like if we don't

intervene she won't get home she stumble

into a bush

yeah like I don't she didn't look like

she would be on the news as like haven't

been seen like [ __ ] we saw her this is

on us no right just I'm like oh we've

all been there we have yeah yeah well Le

we forget the time that I had been

partying and then I I was not driving my

car when this happened but a whole a

bottle of whiskey fell over in the back

seat and soaked the the

mats but I was uh the lay youth pastor

at a church at the time and we were

launching the youth minist like the new

youth ministry programming the next

morning that Sunday sure and I was

supposed to drive students in my car M

so the morning we're launching I'm at

the church and I'm like hey

guys I can't drive anyone

today if you need to smell my car you'll

understand I'm happy to take a

breathalyzer but like my car re like my

car smelled so bad I was like I probably

wreak of it walking into church oh my my

God that's rough

dude like no it's like can you get

contact drunk like I'm like sitting in

your hot box car you had some water on

your hands earlier and I thought you

were rubbing vodka into them were you

trying to get contact drunk on the Vodka

on your hand

maybe okay so Elanor gets back to the

hotel room but she like gets there like

after checkout had already happened but

all of her stuff is still in the room so

the door is locked but she doesn't have

her wallet cuz it's in the room and her

phone has now died of course and she's

like at the point where she's like am I

going to have to give this dude a really

sketchy [ __ ] to get like she's like I

just need my wallet I just need a wallet

or a phone charger I'm just trying my

best at this point where is her friend

uh Millie had hooked up with a

DJ sure well I think she was maybe

already hooking up with him when this

one started cuz they're hanging out with

him so all right this book had started

as like the third book in the second

book in a three book series okay the

first book had been 10 in Tinsel I think

oh right which is about her sister

Samantha and is an actual reverse Harum

right um and it cuz like the whole

series had been like the holiday series

sure and then this book was the second

one then the third book is

Valentine's um and it's about Millie oh

okay and TJ and Nate oh that one like

just released in 2024 okay but I noticed

was when I downloaded the third what

three ways to mend a broken heart I

think is like what the third one's

called uh but it looked like it had

shifted where it wasn't holiday book 3

it was destination love book

two and then this was destination love

book

one but the series has yeah it's like

they she decided to change the series

right but like forgot to update it so

I'm I was a little confused by that if

I'm being honest not that it actually

impacts my ability to read the book

right but I'm like what oh so is this a

two book series or a three book series

and we've switch names we switch series

I don't really get it oh well not really

relevant uh Millie gets there is just

like laughing watching this whole

exchange pays the dude they get back in

their room um and then Eleanor goes out

to her car to get a charger and has at

this point missed a text from crew

because her phone was dead crew being

like hey we got a meeting with a

judge I'm on my way to pick you up yeah

let's get you but then it's also funny

because she's in her car charging her

phone and crew like opens the car door

and she just starts attacking good for

her like doesn't open her eyes just

starts like blindly swinging and she's

like how do I recall all of like the

like defense training I've had so she's

just shouting like Punch Kick go for the

vulnerable

areas and Cruz like open your [ __ ]

eyes

that's awesome at one point she's

shouting she's like I'm the wrong

demographic to get

[Laughter]

trafficked and he's like no one's trying

to traffic you open your eyes I texted

you I was coming you're my

wife he's like you might only be my wife

for another hour but God damn girl not

trying to kill

you so they're now heading to the

courthouse running late uh Cruz like

what about one last ROM

for for Old Time sake and Eleanor is

like I don't double dip my fun dick and

he's like what she's like you know like

fun dip but dick I don't double

dip she's like I'll make out with you

some so they end up like making out I

think I love her in like a hot mess way

of like I hope you grow but also I love

this stage for

you after reading three ways to mend a

broken heart I really don't think she's

gross good to know I can adjust my hopes

but this is kind of the just like unfl

flappable like funny energy this whole

is is the whole book

1,000% um but as they're walking into

the judges Chambers uh Josh the lawyer

is like get he's like okay you guys were

too drunk to consent to what you like

you do not remember it like and they

were like well that feels a bit like

stretching the truth but if that's kind

of what we we need to say that that's

fine but then like Elanor and Josh are

like laughing it up and then crew is a

little bit like what the [ __ ] is my

lawyer flirting with my wife and I'm

like she's not going to be your wife bro

you you gotta you got to let it go right

you can't call dibs anymore you're

getting divorced and she doesn't want to

double dip anyway so

maybe let her do a single dip with your

lawyer

sorry single dip I was trying I know we

were saying double dip but there's

something about single dip that feels it

feels bad it felt bad when I said

it you're like Chelsea I need to know I

didn't feel good saying it

either so as they

are now um in the judges Chambers and

they're sitting there and so they're

like saying like yep we were too drunk

we don't remember judge is like so I

just want to like confirm that that's

the truth because lying even in Chambers

is is

perjury and they're like yeah it's the

truth and then the judge pulls out his

phone and opens Eleanor's Instagram

where she' posted a

real of everyone laughing around them

her like legs around crew's waist sort

of energy being like I just married crew

Matthews and then making out and they're

like the problem is we only look five

out of 10 drunk in that

video cuz we were only five out of 10

drunk and Elanor is like that video is

private and he's like the judge is like

your Instagram is

public [ __ ] whoops yes and so then he's

like well I can't offer you an analment

because you're not meeting the criteria

for an analment and he's like and for

divorce one of you must be a citizen

and uh crew has been living in like the

penthouse of a hotel in Vegas but right

has not is not technically a Nevada

resident um and so they're like well

would you grant him like good faith

citizenship to do this and then they're

like oh well like if he weren't leaving

to go to a different team and then crew

is crew and his lawyer are starting to

pick up on what's going on and Elanor is

just like oh he's a football fan do

something

football autograph something yeah she's

like do you want to sign something here

grab something yeah crew do it you have

a football right people just carry them

like sign it while crew and Josh are

sitting there seeing that uh he has a

specialty Jersey that was limited

release that was just the owner's best

friends who got them after winning a

championship the one that crew talked

mad [ __ ] about on ESPN yeah yeah yeah I

see so as soon as they see what the uh

like what Jersey it is sitation [ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and so then

crew starts like going off and it's

starting to get really angry to the

point that like Eleanor jumps on his lap

and starts making out with him and she's

like do not make this worse like you

yelling at this judge is not going to

get us out of this shut the [ __ ] up we

will figure this out you are not helping

me yes you you not helping anyone in

this yourself or me Shut the [ __ ] up I

will distract you by making out with you

in front of your your the judge and your

lawyer

yeah um which really made me

laugh so now afterwards they haven't

left the courthouse yet but um Eleanor

is FaceTiming her sister and Millie and

telling them about the

ruling and her sister's kind of like so

you have to stay married to the hot

football player for a month

dang and and you wanted me to feel bad

for

you I like her yeah all of them like the

whole time you're like this is the right

level yeah because Ellen was sitting

there and she's like what's the football

equivalent of a Swifty cuz that's what's

[ __ ] happening here this football

Swifty and now I can't get a

divorce there's so many football

swifties now though well and you know to

be fair this book was written before

Travis Kelsey and tayor Swift started

dating which makes it even funnier I

also was laughing cuz I saw a post that

uh in an interview they asked uh Machine

Gun Kelly

like three thoughts or critic like

something of like some maybe it was uh

the new Taylor Swift album I forget what

exactly it was I just not Machine Gun

Kelly's response was you're out of your

[ __ ] mind if you think I want any

smoke with that fan base like I am not

saying [ __ ] against her he said you want

me to fight Eminem 100% you you want me

to threaten Dr Dre no problem you want

me to talk [ __ ] about Swift no we won't

be doing

that and not actually I think because of

Taylor no I love that so much actually I

don't want any smoke with that fan

that's really

good um so as Elanor is sitting there

telling her sister and bestie about this

she is hearing crew on the phone

updating his people and he's real pissed

and like making a couple comments that

like she knows aren't targeted towards

her but are still kind of shitty where

and he's like this judge is trying to

like [ __ ] me over with last night's

[ __ ] like are you [ __ ] me yeah and

she's like excuse me this is high class

right right yeah like not actual

offended were you not trying to get in

it again and I said no come on now [ __ ]

like yeah you wanted it an hour ago

don't call me laugh

used [ __ ]

exactly you get it yeah and so she's

like whatever [ __ ] it I'm not going to

uh I'm not going to sleep with them for

the next so the the full explanation is

that the judge said you need to stay

both of you need to stay with your feet

in Vegas for the next 30 days for me to

Grant the divorce got it yes so we're

stuck here which means she can't go back

and work on her business and he might

have issues with his new

team yeah yeah like I think he was

missing part of training camp or

something like that um something in that

that General wheelhouse but then crew

walks up and he's like we need to we

need to go and she's like I'm still on

FaceTime and so he just grabs her phone

and looks at them and he's like hey

great to meet you we need to go hangs up

and then he's like the paparazzi are out

front because they think the Judge

called them and he's like so we need to

sneak out the

back

um but as they are also kind of having a

an actual conversation about everything

now um crew is really nervous that this

could [ __ ] up the deal with the ners um

but not just because it's his deal but

because TJ and Nate are his best friends

who are supposed to be making this

transition with him right and so elino

is like okay like I'm happy to to stay

and play ball and do what's needed so

that it doesn't [ __ ] all three of you

over but kind of more like TJ and Nate

don't deserve this because we decied to

get married last night which I thought

was kind well and also as her sister

said before so you get to live with a

hot football player you're married to

I'm not that upset for you my heart

breaks for you yeah do you see me

weeping over here over this situation

never been more upset um so Elanor is

texting her sister and bestie Millie

that she's like listen nothing's going

to happen keeping in my pants this is I

just need to stay here for 30 days but

like her and crew had already kind of

like agreed that like we just need to

get through this and get to the other

side but crew grabs her phone to try and

see who she's texting and then end up

starting a new thread like adds his name

to the phone starts a new thread and

it's like hey new bet I have Eleanor

screaming My Name by tonight and for

each day I don't I'll pay you guys

$1,000 if I get her to scream my name

she has to delete her roster from her

phone yeah well at one point like TJ and

N like why did you want her to delete

her roster bro right why do you care

yeah and like did you want her to like

not have other dudes names on her phone

he's like no because I think it's funny

and inconvenient and Petty and we're

like

sure if that's what you need to convince

yourself of true yeah it was funny

because I read this book I know sometime

in 2023 but reading it this time I do

feel like I was envisioning Travis

Kelsey more even though he's not

actually the quarterback for his team

but that was who I was kind of

envisioning with the energy right um so

crew was like all right how do I seduce

my wife he's like not romantically I'm

just trying to get it in just physically

yes so he text his trainer

Claire you're a woman yes literally you

get it

hey how do I seduce her like how do I

get her into me and he's like she's like

what do I get out of why would I help

you and he's like I won't complain for

the next month during wind Sprints and

she's like two months he's like fine

whatever so she goes okay shirtless gray

sweatpants roll out your

quads you know okay and he's like wait

what and she's like trust me it'll

work which you know I hadn't really

thought of uh quad rolling as

sexual because I used to do it like at

like a crossfit gym where there's like

10 of you all like there's nothing

sexual about this I've like I've never

actually thought of using that as ation

ttic right like like and I also don't

necessarily think this is Matt's energy

but I'm just like yeah what would you do

if you walked into your house you got

home from recording today and Matt

shirtless Gray swep

pants pelvic thrusting that quad roller

on the floor I would wonder if he hurt

himself and I would also wonder where he

got a quad roller like a foam roller I

would wonder where he got it cuz I have

one he doesn't know where it is he are

you hiding it no it's in the guest

bedroom closet that he doesn't go in

ever for any reason so I'd be like well

and I would clearly you're not rolling

out that much if it's in the guest

bedroom closet so he would not have that

thought at all you know what I have

started doing I got an acupressure mat

yes it's am

amazing it's amazing I love it is it as

uncomfy as they say for the first like 2

minutes yeah it is um you can do like a

a thin like tank top or t-shirt on okay

that makes sense but I have done it with

and without and it it was fine without

but

um Matt gets so upset every time I do it

he's like cover that [ __ ] up that looks

horrible and I'm like but I feel so much

better he's like I don't care I don't

like it I don't I don't like it he gets

so upset like because it looks like I've

been stabbed a bunch bunch of times with

tiny needles he doesn't like it not a

fan you know I get where that could be a

little

disconcerting yeah not quite the same

but um Vance has done various forms of

martial arts for years and years and

years

but he came home from uh

jiujitsu and I was like is your face

okay and he was like yeah there was like

an an overeager 20-year-old who like

didn't understand I think you just need

to lift your mic or slouch I tried to

lift it and it's

not there you go you nailed it I was

really afraid I was going to break

it sometimes I Don't Know My Own

Strength In the kindest way I can say

this

knowing the setup we have and having a

rough idea of your strength I don't I

don't know if you have enough to break

it but also I'd laugh my ass off if I if

you breathed on it and it sh I would cry

I would cry I understand how expensive

equipment is I'd be like I'm so

sorry yesterday I couldn't get the top

off my water bottle and I had to ask one

of the nurses to do it and I was like

Brian will you please open my water

bottle and he went and like just opened

it with like no effort I was like cool

cool cool that's good you could have at

least pretended to take a deep breath

before I know and there was a patient

right there and he just kind of looked

at me and I was

like thank

you so long I'm just going to back

away my goal has been achieved I'm go

you're like I loosened it for you right

like I did I didn't say that I did think

it but I felt like it wouldn't help me

to say it out loud because they knew

they knew and I knew everybody knew so

you know I have to say there's something

about um Gatorade bottles

specifically I I don't know if it's just

the type we get I think it's just normal

Gatorade but godamn maybe it's that I'm

only drinking Gatorade when I'm sick

right and I'm always like I do not have

the strength to open this

bottle ever like I've

like had to take a break and come back

and try again it's like I'm just sick

and want some cerade and I can't open

the

but nothing will send you over the edge

quicker than when you don't feel good

and can't get the top off of your

medicine or the drink that you want or

whatever like that's I'm also just going

to throw on top of that uh after having

a kid there's nothing like worse than

like being sick and you're like all

right I'm trying to make this bottle I'm

trying to like like there have been days

where I've been sick and like knocked

over a bottle of formula and like [ __ ] y

this we're like Vance will walk out of

our like the office or his like our

bedroom and be

like I'm just going to step in for a

minute it seems like you might need to

go lay down I was like well I was trying

to make the bottles the bottle fell over

and I spilled powder formula everywhere

and then I went upstairs we were out of

diapers and out of wipes and so then I

had to open them but then we didn't have

a new box and then I didn't have

scissors for the box

like and I like I'm just sick and trying

my best I'm just really

tired but having chronic illness that uh

is also just a way of life at this point

yep

yeah I have thought about buying those

uh jar grippers I was going to say yeah

and then I think my husband said aren't

those for elderly people with arthritis

and I said shots fired they're also for

me said they're also for 30s something's

trying their best don't you like how

delicate my hands are do you want me to

rip them up on a gatorade bottle

seriously soft hands I'm going for a

soft life over here and this Gatorade

bottle is [ __ ] up my

[ __ ] all right so they now get back to

the hotel because Elanor is now moving

in with him and out of the the janky

Motel she'd been staying at when they

get back she's just like go get my best

friend and goes into the bedroom and is

like leave me alone yeah but she's also

like damn it we just made this bet and I

already need to take a shower to cool

off but as she gets out of the shower

she hears that TJ and Nate have shown up

and they have Millie in toe but they

like throw open the door to Cru suite

and they're like where's our girl and

he's like you where what do you mean our

girl he's just crew is I wrote adorably

mythed a at like watching them interact

with her and's like no she she's mine

but like when Eleanor hears them she's

still naked from the shower and she's

like [ __ ] I need to cover up so she just

like grabs the cover off the like the

comforter off the bed but then she's

like it wasn't tucked in on the bottom

like I anticipated so I pulled with more

effort and then like fell because she

pulled too hard

yeah a very much one of those

um crew comes in helps like put her back

on her feet but it's like stop flirting

with the

bench my two best friends the bench the

bench and then Eleanor is like cover up

gray sweatpants don't work on me you're

being

desperate that's good but then

internally Elanor is like God damn those

gray sweatpants right um crew

is has left to work out the next day

Eleanor and Millie are enjoying their

kind of like final weekend party Fourth

of July part right I'm like it starts on

Fourth of

July that's really the the extent of it

the extent of the of the Fourth of July

smut yeah um but Elanor and Millie are

at the pool and they are having a great

time and then suddenly they look up and

they're like that's crew and he has TJ n

on either side of him looks pissed and

they're like dancing in the pool at the

pool club and he just charges in fully

clothed because he's like you are acting

he's like several people have sent

photos like you cannot be out here

acting single and she's and she starts

like are you [ __ ] shaming my bikini and

like blah blah blah and he's like no and

just takes her like the cheap dice

wedding ring out of the pocket and he's

like you need to put your [ __ ]

wedding ring back on and she's like oh

he wasn't knocking my clothes okay okay

my bad I got a little

hot I can wear the ring

um and then he ends up throwing her over

his shoulder to take her back to the

room because he wants to [ __ ] her but

when he throws her over his shoulder

people start like whistling when they

see her ass so then he grabs a pillow

off one of the chairs to cover her ass

as they keep

walking and then just like shouts and

he's like hey tweedles

Tweedle de and yeah Tweedle Dum yeah

well no what do they call it's not

Tweedle de and Tweedle Dum that they

call them they call them the tweedles

but it's like something funnier in the

book that is escaping me but he's like

get Millie to the airport we'll see

y'all later and takes her up to the room

um they start

having what I would call pretty

aggressive sex but they're both very

into it so it works um but I have some

quotes for you yeah

um just like we start uh where we start

bottom of the the barrel is I would have

never stopped eating you out had I known

you tasted this good at the from from

the jump we're starting there okay um

and so then Elanor is like what do I

taste like you taste like

[ __ ] he puts his fingers in her then

puts those fingers in her mouth and says

[ __ ] taste good open wide for Daddy

I just wanted to watch your face as I

read all these CL you um and then I was

going to take a sip of something and I

was like I'm going to wait actually

until you're done with no I am I'm going

to I feel

daring and then we got a like you're a

dirty little [ __ ] aren't you you you

keep being a good girl and I'll let you

do a little comparison between your

[ __ ] and my

[ __ ] so then he finishes eating her out

and then that was on the counter and

then he moved over to the couch and then

[ __ ] her like leaned her over the

couch to [ __ ] her sure but then comes in

her mouth sure so she can compare

thoughtful yeah yeah for

science for science did I ever tell you

about the time a guy said that to me not

in that

context sorry I'm so sorry not in that

context

man not in that context no I I had gone

out with him a couple of times and he

got like weirdly clingy and [ __ ] and

like I was really not into it at all

but he was very sweet and so I was

trying not to be mean or anything and

but I I went to Florida and this was

when like some things had happened like

big newsworthy things so I was going to

see family but then I wound up doing

like some volunteer work with that kind

of stuff

and he texted me like a few days later

and he was like I just want to

understand what went wrong between us

you never reached back out and I was

like you you knew that I was going going

to Florida you knew that like this

terrible thing happened like right near

where I grew up like you knew those

things like why like why are you being

weird about it but he went on this whole

long thing about um I really really

liked you and um I I understand if you

don't want to continue but can you

please just tell me what I did wrong for

Science and I never responded to him

Hannah if we take out the first science

portion why didn't you tell that man

what he did wrong

well I did tell him I was out of town

and I likely would have maybe gone out

with you again if you had asked I didn't

hate spending time with you but you were

really too much and then he asked more

questions and I didn't respond to those

cuz they were like Point proof in that's

all the science I'm going to give you no

that's very fair and I'll give you that

I I

realized back like right before I met my

husband where I was like you know these

conversations are uncomfortable but

dudes won't learn I was like yeah and I

started sending very uncomfortable

messages explaining why like I wasn't

going back out and I was like I want you

to know why yeah like I I don't want to

be an [ __ ] who ghost you hey you sent

me three voice notes at 3:00 a.m. that

didn't have any sound it was

unsettling what were you doing yes well

and also one of the dudes that I was

like we we'd hung out we'd had a great

time and at the time I was working um I

was working crisis and so I wasn't

working traditional hours I worked

second shift but my second shift was

2:00 p.m. to 2: a.m. Monday Tuesday

Wednesday right so we' hung out like I

don't know the Friday before

whatever and I was like yeah I had fun

um but did just want to let you know

like I have work and then I have family

coming to town and then I have work

again so like I will not be able to like

hang out again for at least two more

weeks and got the text back if you don't

want to hang out you can just say

so Okie doie good sir absolutely not

thanks for letting me

know yeah I'm

like you're not the catch in this

situation as shitty as that sounds oh my

God that sounded so prideful get I get

it but I was just like yeah I'm so

grateful not to be dating anymore cuz

now I'm like going through all the with

that I was like oh my God o I also

frequently think about like who I

thought I would marry when I was like 18

yeah and being like thank God I didn't

marry that person that like I was so

heartbroken it didn't work out right but

looking back I'm like I cannot imagine

being married to someone other than my

husband absolutely and not because I

don't understand how marriage works

right like I understand

like how to make a marriage successful

like from the like you could be married

to anyone when it comes to communication

when it comes to coexisting and living

in the same space but just like the day

in and day out of sharing your life with

someone I'm like it's a lot yes it's it

takes a lot it really does yeah and you

know me I am obsessed with my husband

and love him more than anything but the

man also refuses to admit when he's sick

and blames everything on allergies even

when it's the debt of

winter and even at that I would still

marry him a thousand times over yeah I

told Matthew other day that he loads the

dishwasher like a sociopath and it makes

me

uncomfortable it it it really does drive

me up a [ __ ] wall what does he do put

all of the cups face

up no no but he will sometimes lay

things on their sides so then they have

water in them but he just will just

there's no Rhyme or Reason like things

are not together we could fit more in

like but you know what I have gratitude

that he is willing to load the

dishwasher I'm a bowl on the bottom

person and my husband is a bowl on top

person right and at this point I think

it's whoever just starts loading the

dishwasher first is like the one that

will follow yeah because earlier on I

was so like it's the principle of the

thing so I would move all of the bowls

to the bottom then I was like you know

what I keep moving him he keeps putting

them on

top I'm just accepting this is my

reality now going to make my life so

much easier moving forward yeah and by

so much easier I mean minimally easier

because dishwashing really isn't that

big of a thing it's more the serenity of

it that I'm not like upset about it but

no I really did have a moment where I

was like just don't even load it and

then I was like Hannah how amazing is it

that he does the dishes like maybe calm

down I remember being in high school and

my dad uh told me I was loading the

dishwasher wrong and I told him then he

could load it instead because I had seen

him do

it how did that go um I don't think my

father was prepared for that answer I

also told him the same thing when he

told me I wasn't folding his socks

properly and said well this feels like a

great opportunity for you to fold your

socks how you want them I'll just leave

them on your

bed yeah I'm sorry uh Ralph and Chris I

think a lot of that [ __ ] backfired on

you and you were like that was not the

answer we were expecting I can't wait

for little for to grow up and start

having that level of

SASS and he already has that level of s

I know but like

verbally Oh you mean like how he's not

supposed to touch the dog bowl but he

put his one pinky toe on it and now

whenever I see him sitting by it I'll go

forward and he'll just go no no no no no

and shake his head and then put his hand

in that water

[Laughter]

ble well you're my kid no doubts yeah

never had a single doubt confir that

this

[ __ ] is

mine that's awesome so after they have

this really great

sex I don't know if she ever for science

gave a definitive answer on which tasted

better but uh after they're both like

wow that was so

good and Elanor goes yeah if you're

going to be out 30,000 I'll at least

make it good and he's like the [ __ ] do

you mean and she's like you didn't win

the bet he's like what do you mean I

didn't win the bet and she goes you said

you'd have me screaming your name I

didn't say your name

once hey and he's like oh my

God I love her yes as incredible as you

should

uh Millie texts her and is like thanks

for the four

grand and she's like what are you cuz I

so there's a lot that's not captured in

this book just

it is very witty and very sharp and very

fny and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it

but there's also a lot of like text

exchanges and like the new groups that

they've made so like crew texting the

group and uh Elanor leaving the group

chat so when Millie's like thanks for

the four grand Eleanor's like are you

still in a group chat with my husband

and she's like yeah why obviously why

wouldn't we be um

but then Millie's also kind of like just

wanted to check in cuz like having a one

night stand is different from living

with a partner and coexisting with a

partner that you're sleeping with day in

and day out and uh just just wanted to

check in on that and Eleanor is like

just very much brushes it off right um

and he like no I'm good and you're like

art are you good though um they flash a

little bit forward crew and Eleanor are

walking through the hotel and thinking

about what they're going to grab for

dinner and like the super fan comes up

and is

uh very obsessed with crew and Eleanor

just like sees how kind and patient crew

is with the super fan but then crew is

also like has his arm around Ellie and

like making sure she is okay and safe

and like feeling okay but the Super Fan

like yeah we were in Vegas getting

married this weekend like she's been

trying to convince me forever hahaa

heard you just got married too right bet

your wiped in half to convince you of

anything she's smoking hot like that

sort of

[ __ ] oh no yes but one of the things

that Eleanor noted is that when the fan

wants to take a photo with crew he tries

to put his like arm around crew who's

notably taller than him so crew just

like subtly like bends his knees a

little bit to sh yeah like we like oh

he's like a thoughtful yeah he can be

very kind and thoughtful and so he ends

up uh he takes her up onto the roof to

eat dinner and he's like well cuz I know

you've watched The Hangover a thousand

times since you moved in with me he's

like and you always talk about how'd

they get the mattress on the roof so uh

he takes you up to the roof which is his

special spot that like we learn he's not

taking TJ or Nate here like this is

where he goes to kind of clear his mind

okay and they start happing um just some

like good conversations we find out like

kind of crew gr up in foster care

football was like the really consistent

thing in his life sort of energy um but

then also because it's smut she like

asks if she gets the tweedles and the

divorce uh and then he starts finger

[ __ ] her on the roof and then oh

what he says I'll share them in the

divorce we'll fill you up baby make you

beg take you to heaven all you got to do

is scream my name she's like you

[ __ ] stop this

um yeah then they have more sex but she

doesn't say his name good for her yeah

she keeps not saying his name yeah the

whole time she's a real one she's like I

will earn my friends this money yes [ __ ]

you well there was also a funny bet

before that where uh when she was like

yeah crew and I are just going to keep

it platonic and uh her best friend

Millie was like okay if that doesn't

happen I get your uh Betsy Johnson

rhinestone boots and she's like you

[ __ ] you know how hard I worked for

those boots you cannot have them I like

that yes you know fighting for the

important things in life 1,000% I don't

know where I would wear rhinestone boots

um I looked up the Betsy Johnson boots

of they have them in all different

heights like they have like knee they

have more of like a ankle an sh

mhm um and I I think because well and I

would say this for you as well most of

our outfits are very neutral correct

yeah so I do feel like considering how

much we both wear black on black we

could throw a rhinestone boot on there

that's true and it wouldn't feel as

outrageous sure did I tell you that my

optometrist looks like Dolly Parton and

wears like the knee high rhinestone

boots tell and has the boobs in the hair

yeah she did incredible I want to be myr

go see her yeah she's at the Target

that's 5 minutes from here noted yes

yeah I do need my eyes CH and honestly

she's a really solid op like I've seen

several and because I well we've had

this conversation people like to really

miss diagnose my eyes and so people have

been like you need bifocals you need

prism you need double the prism you need

PT for your eyes which I did not know

was a thing yeah so I've just had every

eye doctor I go to tells me something a

little different the first time I went

to see her i' been having difficulty

with my eyes I needed my normal eye exam

and I was also 38 weeks pregnant and had

no business going to my eye exam your

eyes were jacked up during your whole

pregnancy too um and after my eye stuff

did not resolve until like fall of 2023

yeah and I'm like I have uh just had

like swollen eyes

for since August of 2022 I was going say

cried for like 14 months like you just

you just cried well and I remember the

first time you came over when it was

like super bad and my eyes were swollen

shut yeah and I I was like no I swear I

fell like don't blame B she's like I'm

really okay I totally promise I was like

uh bless my husband's heart I couldn't

even look at your eyes because it made

me made my eyes water

like I could not uh cuz that was when I

was having all of like my OB

appointments my husband would have to

hold my hand and walk me into the

appointment cuz my eyes were so swollen

shut because I had spots on my

corneas oh yeah I had spots on my

corneas that uh never fully resolved and

were uh directly over my pupil as well

so it it always felt like something was

in my eye right so I could rub my eye

all day and not get it out nothing was

there to get out um yeah it was a a

whole thing what a nightmare not would

not recommend by any stretch but would

recommend my knockoff doly part not P

because I adore her and we may recommend

rhinestone boots we may have to give it

a

try yeah like to be fair the Betsy

Johnson ones were

not like they almost seemed a little bit

more like matte rhinestone if you like

they didn't seem as

like like if you go in the sun everyone

will be blinded right it's not a disco

ball on your foot yes it's not a disco

ball I thought they were a lot cuter

than I anticipated to the point that I

started trying to think I was like could

I pull these off and I was like I could

do I need to spend a hundred plus

dollars on new boots right

now no

not boots of that caliber that won't be

everyday boots right mhm I aspired to

make it to that point in life where I'm

a person that just like my daily

Standard shoe is a rhinest Bo oh man

they're like that's just Chelsea you

know her Chelsea in those rhinestone

boots things to look forward to right

all right so crew is uh training with

Claire I don't know next day couple days

later M doesn't really matter the Tweet

will show up uh and ask where Elanor is

and he's like oh like she's like back at

the room and they're like no problem

we'll show her around for the day we'll

like make sure she's entertained so they

end up having quite frankly a fantastic

day that seemed fun as [ __ ] I'm like I

would love that day so they go and they

grab Elanor they take her thrifting they

play Thrift games where it's like when

the timer goes off whatever your hands

on you you got to wear then they start

like sending crew photos of her wearing

all of those clothes in the Caesar's

Palace Fountain singing the Friends

theme song

but then security starts chasing her and

like Cruz texting them and he's like if

my wife gets arrested I am holding the

two of you personally responsible I will

end you yes like uh they go on the

ferris wheel they take her to the Hoover

Dam and they're just going to all of the

fun places Claire keeps getting annoyed

at how distracted he is and she's like

hop on the treadmill you're doing what

was it it sounded horrific it was like

warm up for 15 and then Sprint for

45 no and I get he's a professional

athlete and we exercise in different

Avenues um that sounds like a special

kind of hell to me that I would never

financially is thinking about it I would

never financially

recover yeah well do you remember like

the Presidential Fitness Test yes did

you ever pass I don't remember but I do

remember there's a a pod called the

maintenance phase that explains how the

Presidential Fitness Test came to be

fascinating super interesting this might

be a really silly stupid question

because it's something I've absolutely

never considered before this

moment does the president have to do the

Presidential Fitness Test you know I

don't know but he

should that should be part of like I

want to see Trump and Biden do some wind

Sprints y'all 100%

can how many how many situps can you do

can you do that rope climb ooh that's

what's the Rope climb part of it I think

they took it out cuz a lot of kids

fell well you'd have to get up to fall

so that was never an issue for

me

yeah Le lest we forget in fifth grade I

got the turnaround

award from my PE teacher

because I had grown that much in fifth

grade in my athletic Acumen although how

he initially described he's like yeah

the turnaround award you know someone

that we've seen turn around a lot good

to bad bad to good they they've made a

turn

coach called my name I was like this was

bad to good right right like this is for

improvement I think I've mentioned this

before my elementary school PE teacher

uh has now retired he retired as the PE

teacher there um he is friends with all

of us on Facebook he comments on

everyone's birthday on everyone's like

big life event post so cute in like

truly the purest way where I'm like oh

like as a kid I did not realize how

incredible of an educator this man was

like what I do remember was like being

out at PE and like the fence in the

field and people from the neighborhood

would like walk up to the fence and he

knew every single person would go over

and have big conversations but like as a

kid you just don't really compute it at

that level as an

adult Carlos Melvin is a National

Treasure shout out to Carlos yes hope

you're doing well Carlos actually I know

you're doing well because we're friends

on Facebook and it brings my heart Joy

um Claire is annoyed because crew is

distracted so she sets him up to do all

these runs but then as he's running his

phone times and so he goes to look at it

but then he's running so fast he falls

down he falls and it is not ideal but

he's hoping it is Eleanor or the

tweedles and instead it's his agent

being like we have an emergency call

with your new team because you can't

leave the city for the next 30

days but then switched to Elanor who's

like man like he was responding before

but he hasn't responded to like the last

like text and like she's like getting a

little sad yeah and so the tweedles are

like okay

if this place doesn't lure him out

nothing will and they take her to

Spearmint Rhino the strip club yes for

the wings obviously always for the wings

it's for the it's for the buffet at the

restaurant and then they send a photo to

crew of her eating a wing that she's

like you didn't tell us she could suck

the meat straight from the

boat a um so once again crew really

wants to Jo but it's like as soon as's

like okay I'm I'm almost out of this

meeting they're like yeah we'd really

love to like talk strategy and he's like

[ __ ] okay got to stay here got to play

it cool so then the tweedles have now

taken her to the neon Museum and she's

like yeah I'm a little bum cuz like I

wish like feel like having crew here

like he'd have so much fun with us and

would really love it and then she looks

up and he surprised her and he's there

with all of

them um but what was also funny is that

she had tons of mini liquor bottles like

air airplane bottles he's like where did

you get these and she's like made a deal

with the strippers from spearmint right

now and he's like what did you do for

these and she's like I told them how I

make this shaving cream that will save

them the razor burn since they're naked

up there they really need it so they

hooked me

up in a weird way I want to be her and

also nothing like her at the same time I

feel that right I appreciate kind of her

aloofness and ability to move forward

and things and just like have fun on the

journey adapt to any situation but in

other ways I'm like are you good girl

cuz it seems

like that level of mess is concerning

just

generally yeah yeah um okay after the

neon Museum there is what I would call

like the

longest threesome of the book really the

only threesome of the book oh uh cuz

they talk about how they all had group

sex on the wedding night but outside of

that like there was never a flashback to

the wedding night right

um very much a everybody gets a whole

situation at one point they're literally

oh so so four some then did what did I

say three threeome I was like who got

left

[Laughter]

out I was like they were like it was

Nate Eleanor step back

my bad it was a force them I wasn't

mathing when I said that got I got you

so everybody gets a hole got it everyone

gets a hole well they also

like I don't know the logistics of some

of this like at one point they're like

crawled the crew who's on the couch okay

so then she starts they're like put your

hands on Cruz's thighs mhm she starts

sucking his dick then one of the other

dudes comes up behind her and like lifts

her legs up I'm like like like a keg

stand okay but it's dick sucking

sure I

personally would not Thrive at that also

very early on in this book Millie makes

a joke about being I'm less of a [ __ ]

girl and more of a it's a hand job but

I'll put my mouth on the end to make you

think otherwise

girl that's excellent that's really good

and quite frankly I think that might be

my my territory as well because the

logis of

a doing a keg stand blow job yeah yeah

are not where I would Thrive it's not

mathing for me no yeah no and I'm like

my neck hurts thinking about it I'm like

how do you know I don't like it oh I

don't I don't know if I don't think my

body doesn't feel sustainable yeah um

but it's also funny because as they're

all like in the bedroom he's like I'll

let you come the only thing you need to

too scream my name and then she she's

confident enough within herself that

she's like starts masturbating she's

like I'm coming either way I am the

prize in this situation so you can

either join me or you can be sad but I'm

going to finish right and so then all of

the guys are standing there and then

that's when they're like throat ass

[ __ ] they each take a hole and just

move

on okay yeah but it's also one of those

where I'm like it's like about 20 plus

it's like a chapter and a half sort of

sex scene where you're like okay oh

we're oh that's new yep still going oky

do

yeah um all right after this we have

crew who bribes the uh like young valet

kid he sees him drive up with a pickup

and he's like can I borrow your pick up

and he's like I'll pay you for it then

like I know I'm not supposed to park in

this lot and gre's like I really don't

give a sh what lot you park in I just

want to borrow your car yeah um so he

takes her to a drive-in to see The

Hangover Part Two a thoughtful yeah he's

like figured you'd want to know what

happens next but then as they're in the

truck and watching the movie uh

Eleanor's realizing she's like this well

at one point she's like are you taking

me on a date and he's like can I not

take my wife on a date hahaa and she's

like [ __ ] like this is like a weird a

real yeah we're feeling like a real

couple and and how we're moving forward

and it's just kind of thinking through

that they do more sex stuff sure in the

truck during the movie she doesn't want

to initially not that he really coerced

her but he is like there are three cars

here and we parked very far in the back

so literally no one can see us right

please unbutton your pants

now now that that's been established

disrobe yeah

um after after that crew has taken the

day off work and they go to the pool

together but when he when they get to

the pool one of the servers walks up and

Elanor is like Gil great to see you and

he's like who the [ __ ] is Gil his

brother better be flounder

like what why does she know this man and

then she's like yeah crew didn't I tell

you Gil's uh nephew like might get

drafted like just knows all of the

details um but then crew is really

starting to process through that he like

doesn't like that he didn't know who Gil

was and is like feeling more Territorial

and pro like possessive of her um and

then when they're talking about ordering

food she's like oh what do you want and

he's just like sitting kind of in

silence processing all of she like oh do

you just want me to order a few things

that I know you like and he's like like

a real partner

would like an actual wife yes more of

that shi's like [ __ ] [ __ ] my actual wife

okay um so he's sitting there having an

internal crisis the tweedles end up

joining them and uh I think Nate is

throwing Elanor around in the pool and

they're having fun and then crew is

having a conversation with TJ um and

saying he's like I have feelings for

Elanor but like I don't want to have

feelings for Elanor like this is highly

inconvenient yes he's like attachments

are difficult I have like a very clear

tra like

just right girl wrong time sort of like

yeah she she's great but like this just

isn't what I want in life right

um and he's like kind of like a making

comments that make it seem like he's the

one who's the catch and TJ's kind of

like just as a friendly

reminder Elanor was pulling without

you like she pulls

yeah like yes like you are also very

attractive and he like but like El is

not like she doesn't need you yes yeah

she's not like super lucky to have you

bu like wa to have a friend who can keep

you humble

right but as they're having this

conversation crew notices that like

there's a dude at the pool who had been

on his phone and now has it up and is

like taking photos of

Eleanor and so without even thinking

crew just picks up the football and

shouts to Nate who's in the pool with

Elanor Nate go long Chucks the ball and

like breaks the dude's nose his phone

hits the ground but Nate and TJ

automatic like no crew enough to realize

that like they just start making sure

Eleanor like corralling around her kind

of subtly um and then one crew goes over

and there's like I'm you broke my nose

I'm going to sue you and he's like if

you take photos of my wife again I'll do

more than break your nose and I'm I'm

taking I'll just take your phone now if

you're going to sue me anyways right

I'll just go ahead and take this and

Elanor like sees it go down but doesn't

like doesn't doesn't put it together

yeah she's like feels like he was doing

something bigger than accidentally

hitting a dude with a football

right um when they get back to the room

all four of them Elanor puts her purse

down and then it accidentally falls on

the ground and one of her bottles of

like lotion or oil breaks and so she's

trying to clean it but it starts like

sliding on the floor and so the tweedles

are like let's play spin the bottle but

let's play spin the Elanor and crew's

like I don't know if we should do that

but then she like okay yeah like let's

do it it'll be fun and so KW like okay

me first so like he kisses her like leg

whatever like ended up in front of him

and then when Nate was spinning Eleanor

it was like the back of her head was

what Nate saw but he tried to turn her

head to kiss her and Cruz like that's

not the rules the back of her head was

what was accessible to you so that's

what you need to kiss you can't kiss her

mouth that's breaking rules of the

game like

obviously yeah so then uh TJ's like you

know what the floor is a little like

slippery let's just go to the like tries

to pick her up and like yeah crew just

keeps intervening until finally

uh he's also like hey didn't you guys

[ __ ] a rando last night like could you

maybe go find that Rando or a new one

well and also from like

the there hadn't been protection before

so I'm not going to let you potentially

like threaten like right threaten my

wife's Sexual Health right but then

Elanor is sitting there and she's

like seems like I could remind about

condoms but like doesn't really seem

like condoms are the issue here like

yeah so TJ Nate clearly trying to

provoke him to the point of just saying

what he wanted and when they leave he

looks at her and he's like I just want

to do to myself like I just I know we

all have had our fun before but like I

just wanted a night to ourselves and

Elanor is like yeah honestly like

they're fun but she's like they're here

for a good time not for a long time and

I'm okay if like we

never have a group participation again

he's like oh okay so then I don't know

more sex oh yeah no very possessive sex

I was going to say is this a solidifying

[ __ ] would you

say I wouldn't say there's actually a

solidifying [ __ ] in this book huh

yeah actually now that I think about it

uh I didn't love this scene if I'm being

completely honest okay because as I said

very possessive sex

where he's wanting her to own that he

owns her sort of energy right so he is

comes in her mouth tells her not to

swallow cuz he wants to see his come in

her mouth

and then is like do you see who's come

that is like you're my dirty [ __ ] right

like that sort of energy

sure um and then when she's like finally

yes whatever uh then he spits in her

mouth into his come and then tells her

she can

swallow

okay

no that I love that that what's your

issue oh my God

okay

I don't think I could just hold semen in

my mouth yeah it's not for me no and

that is why it is my issue cuz I'm like

that's a long time to just I thought it

was the spitting in her mouth that you

went uh if it was just the spit I could

we could be okay I think it was the spit

with the [ __ ] m cuz she's been sitting

there with the [ __ ] in her mouth sure

sure for them him to then spit on the

[ __ ] as his final claiming move sure and

then he tells her she can

swallow okay yeah I get it yeah I think

the spit

alone not my jam but I that doesn't

wouldn't make me well there's a lot of

like contradictions in this book where

it's like he's really possessive he's

also sharing her with his friends more

than once and then which is fine like

I'm not saying you shouldn't have open

relationship as long as everybody's cool

but then he's like super possessive I

think the possessive has more grown over

the book okay where I think cuz like

when they were on the roof

um eating dinner yeah I think in that

conversation she'd been like so how long

have you been like banging people with

TJ and Nate and he's like long enough to

be good at it it's kind like where I

think that's kind of always been like

Dynamic yeah like they're three very hot

successful football players that like

this has always been their Dynamic so I

think it's uh and that is one of the

things that like I didn't necessarily

outline as much because it's like within

some of the text messages but like at

one point uh towards maybe around this

part of the book uh crew is texting with

TJ and Nate and he said something about

like

uh get like don't like get your hands

off my girl or like whatever it was and

like my girl not our girl and he's like

no what no I meant our girl like I so

it's more of I think like a a a shift

over time where crew wasn't necessarily

like being honest with himself about his

true feelings for her um that makes more

sense so it was like as he got to know

her he got

possessive yeah and started to realize

it and I think there

the degradation and the dirty talk I

think is their their resting state I

think the

possession is more of what grew I got

you yeah that makes sense that's a very

valid point it is now July 31st okay

we've spent a lot of time [ __ ] we

have and hanging out yeah um they end up

having a there's like freak bad weather

I don't really know what the weather

patterns are in Vegas I mean it's a

desert so it's dry until it's not

correct yeah yeah seems a bit

occasionally snow oh wow do they get

snow in Vegas uhhuh on the plate H mhm

um I I was thinking about this recently

as we know you and I grew up in Florida

Florida does not see a lot of season

change nope so like there are some a few

trees that might lose their leaves but

there's not like a true fall of like all

of the Golden

Leaves um and when I moved to Dallas

Texas and mind you I moved to Dallas in

their record their summer of

record-breaking heat right where it was

like the most consecutive days in triple

digits um and so in my head I was just

comparing like Florida heat to like yeah

and I was kind of dating this guy at the

time and I said to him that fall I was

like wow the leaves change colors and

like fall here and he looked at me like

I was the biggest [ __ ] idiot he had

met in his entire life and he's like

yeah Chelsea that's what they do in the

fall and I'm like I grew up in Florida

[ __ ] also I could probably still take

that man he was a lot taller than me

there was a reason we did not end up

together our well also our very first

date he's the one that on the very first

day I uh looked at my friend cuz I was

meeting with him at the mall he was

picking me up cuz I was with a friend at

the mall and he was coming down the

escalator to meet us and I looked at my

friend Javi and I said Javi I cannot

date him his shoes are too

pointy and Jai said that's not a real

reason not to go on a date with someone

and he already drove here so you're

going to go on this dat with

him first of all I think that's

perfectly valid jav's response or my

concern your concern yes he look like a

[ __ ] elf your concern is

valid and Javi wasn't really like that

minimizing or invalidating I want to

give him credit there it was just like

Chelsea babe

go on the date right if you don't like

him afterwards it's okay but you can't

not go on the date because the man shoes

are pointy the the the level of douche

needed for super pointy shoes would be

the level of douche that's like yeah

Chelsea like you know what I mean like

that I have a picture of this person and

I feel very confident that I'm correct

oh my God I cannot wait to see what this

picture looks like because I have a

feeling you're wrong what yes

he is

a it's a whole thing we'll get there

some other at some other point in time I

did that was a one that I remember us

having an icebreaker segue question in

one of our team meetings I think when

you and I may have been on the same team

and it was like what's a deal breaker

that like if you showed up to the date

and they were wearing it you wouldn't be

able to go forward and I said actual

thing that has happened in my life his

shoes were too pointy but another dude

in our meeting was like yeah if she were

wearing a hat on our first date that

probably be a deal breaker and I still

think about that cuz I have a lot of

questions I mean I think mine I don't

recall if I was in that meeting I might

have been but mine is a fedora because

it's an actual thing that happened and

he was trying to cover up a bald spot

that was not in his profile picture oh

well and you either pull off a fedora or

you don't pull off Fedora did not like

you're either Jason morz or you're the

rest of us a keer elf He looks like a

kebler

elf He was so short which is fine my

husband is not that tall like how tall

is Matt he's like

59 okay yeah cuz you're like 5'4 right

yeah yeah tall enough for what for your

needs right it's fine but this guy was

like my height which is again is fine

not a problem but he was at least 30 lbs

heavier than his profile picture which

again is fine just be honest about your

pictures like you know and then he had

on a fedora and this was the date that I

was on that was so bad that the waitress

came by and asked me if I was okay yes I

had heard that I miss the context of

yeah what he had on a

fedora

yeah you know a dates bad when the

server yeah is trying to save you from

it she's like babe do I need to call

someone

I can tell him you just had to go that

there was an emergency what a real one I

know right that is I still think about

her regularly I hope she's well and has

gotten good karma in return yes

yeah shout out to all of the hospitality

industry Personnel that are keeping a

lookout yeah like keeping everyone safe

I like to think that that is the

category that my husband fell into

because he was in the industry for so

long but then what I really think of

when I think of my husband being in the

service industry is that the restaurant

he worked at uh wouldn't let him shift

to being a bartender full-time because

they were like you're just like the best

with the bachelorette parties so we

can't take you off the

floor that sucks so bad oh cuz you make

so much more money as a bartender but

you do yeah and but I also think his

tips did not suck because he was that

good at the bachelorette party groups

yeah uh he's like yeah I remember one

group came in he's like this one got a

little weird go on he's like well they

each had taken a photo of their Boop

just like one boob not both just one

Boop and then were're showing them to me

and I had to guess which boob belonged

to which

person what and the funniest thing about

all that is like I feel like there are

some servers who would make this makes

me feel uncomfortable and I won't do it

but you've met my husband I have yeah

he's he'd be like going to be like

well let's play this is a new matching

game yes like I've always excelled at

these right I love memory games I'm like

which I would do the right one I

think if I had to choose one boob to

take a picture of I did have an extra

mole that popped up during pregnancy on

my left um and then I I had a freckle

and a birth mark mhm and then another

little mole and so my actual nipple kind

of looked like my boob was

screaming but then the mole fell off so

now now my boob looks normal

again I heard

it

okay all right woo

okay so it's a rainy day in

Vegas well that was a journey and so

elor's like let's have a spa day and

crew is like [ __ ] yeah thinking they're

going to go to the spa at the hotel that

he lives in he's like and then Elanor

gets on the phone and starts ordering up

like Greek yogurt and berries and he's

like and I'm thinking she's getting

snacks for her making a parfait yes so

then she starts making all of the face

masks and starts giving him a face mask

and he's like a very good sport about it

but he keeps trying to eat it um and

then he's like I want to come to your

salon opening um when we're all in

California and she's like yeah and she's

like absolutely and you can bring

whoever you're dating and she's like

it'd be a a great grab to get all the

[ __ ] in the Bay Area and she's like

yeah like I whoever you're dating would

probably be great clients and he's kind

of like oh

wasn't how I had thought of that um and

then they get into a face mask food

fight sure as you do y it's cute she

runs into the kitchen uh for more ammo

and he grabs her and she's like oh

you're too fast and he's just like

you're a terrible running back who runs

a straight

route and she goes what the hell is a

running back and he's like what do you

you you don't no wife of mine even if

you're a fake wife absolutely not so

then he's like I need to explain

football to her so he's spending like 20

minutes like he's like setting up he's

like all right babe you're in line

you're you're with on the defensive line

right now and she's like okay so you're

going to throw the ball to me and he's

like oh my God no have you not been

listening obviously not and she's

sitting there and she's like I've been

listening to my father couch coach the

ners my entire life I know all of this

I'm just [ __ ] with

him that's so good which he realizes

after about 20 minutes um and then they

are laughing and shower washed all off

they have a bath maybe that would be the

solidifying [ __ ] if you will

um in the bath he asks what she wants to

do for her last few days in Paradise she

Whispers some very dirty things in his

ear uh she asks what he wants and he

asks her to come to field day with the

Raiders and and he's like yeah it's like

my last thing with the Raiders before

I'm out she's like okay yeah sure I'll

show up no

problem then they [ __ ] which I don't

need to give you more details you

understand sure I do I get it you

understand the Dynamics of how that

works I

do she goes to the field day it's

adorable there's all of these kids on

the field um but then she's getting info

like from one of the assistants who who'

been kind of assigned to like make sure

she was good where crew had 1,000% been

downplaying it it's his event that like

he pushed for the Raiders to let him do

it one last time before he moved um

because field day was a day for all of

the youth that would not necessarily be

able to afford their actual like student

camps and things like that so it's like

very like low sces very much the

population he grew up in right um and so

she's realizing more and more great

things about him like adorable balloon

fight with all of them on like her and

him and Nate and TJ on the field with

all the kids and probably some other

people but yeah they're not really

talked about in the book as much so they

don't really

matter then she's sitting uh on the

bleachers and just kind of watching and

a reporter comes up and it's trying to

get like a quote from her and she kind

of has this moment where she's like I

mean I don't really want to give her a

quote but

like our time is almost up and I I kind

of want something that like ties us

together so she's like okay I'll give

her a quote and she's like and then I'll

buy all of the newspapers in my area and

she's like but I'll have the quote right

right but then like she just kind of

like starts going at one point she's

like and he's everything I never wanted

and the reporter's like you mean

everything you always wanted right and's

like yeah that's exactly what I said

right like [ __ ] [ __ ] like this is a

reporter please don't whoops off the

record yes

and so she excuses herself awkwardly to

like go in search of refreshments and

stumbles upon Josh who's like hey great

that I found you here um I managed to

get the judge recused here are the

papers you just need to sign and she's

like [ __ ] so then we cut to Cruz

perspective right and I'm I'm guessing

he doesn't know this yet no because when

we cut to Cruz perspective he is getting

back to their hotel and he's like yeah

she bailed at some point during field

day I don't know what was up but like

when he gets back to the hotel like he's

shouting like you better be naked in

here sort of energy and then goes into

the bedroom and it's like all of her

stuff is gone and like realizing like it

looks like she hasn't been here right

and so then he looks over on the table

and sees the divorce papers with her

signature and the ring and another note

written on a napkin the exact same way

she did the very first time right that

she left for the Symmetry you get

it and he is Big bummed yeah yeah which

makes sense sure right but I think also

in that way where he's like well this is

what we kind of said it would be because

then we moved to 2 weeks

later and he is now out in California

and she is obviously back in California

and they haven't spoken but crew was at

a press conference and the girl who's uh

on the AV team trying to get him set up

with his mic starts sniffing him as

she's setting it up and he's like what

and she's like so sorry she's like you

just smell like this like shave cream

that this like amazing esthetician I

knew used to make and TJ and Nate just

start laughing cuz they hear it and's

like yeah I kept the shave cream I

thought it like wouldn't be that big of

a deal really good shave cream I'm not

trying to be

wasteful 1,000% is it reduce reuse

recycle you guys and then the girl's

like yeah crazy enough that EST that

esthetician is actually opening her own

Salon soon you just got married right

you should recommend it to your wife

ouch but then

also the name of the salon he's like

yeah it's called wild card which has

been his nickname for her the entire

book and she's like cool name right and

he's just sitting there

like why does the universe hate me I

just need to get through this press

conference we switched to Eleanor uh and

she has like a similar situation where

she is showing up at this bar to meet

Millie there and when she walks in

there's like a Niner Nation party to

like watch the preseason uh game oh yeah

yeah and Millie's like sorry I text you

but it seems like you didn't get my text

they weren't here when I got here then

this whole like every time crew shows up

on the screen they're all cheering and

she's like [ __ ] my life can I not can I

have one

day now it is September oh so like

another two weeks or so and they still

haven't talked

crew is throwing like [ __ ] at practice

and his coaches calls him over he's like

hey I know you have a lot going on a lot

and on your mind so I uh I called in

someone to talk to that I thought might

be an inspiration and the duty calls

over is Alec price who's a uh Hall of

Fame QB MH and is also

Samantha from Tangled in Tinsel I.E

Eleanor's sisters one of her boyfriends

oh okay okay

um it's all connected yes okay but also

in that way where like when they start

talking uh what is Alec just like from

the jump and he's

like we can talk about football or we

can talk about women what you want to

talk about and Cruz like well I can only

really talk about one right now so then

Alex like all right well if it's

football just do what you already know

how to do that's what got you here like

believe in your abilities back to the

basics and then crew's like so how is

she and Al goes hold please takes out

his phone makes a call puts it on

speaker

phone and crew's like what the [ __ ] is

he doing and then when the the dude

answers it's the other boy sister's

boyfriend and he's like did he cave

already yep didn't even have to get the

inspirational [ __ ] and like you hear a

shout it's like you owe me

$300 then the other guy like gave it to

your mom last night it's the energy in

the backgound I love that that's awesome

um but then in their conversation crew

is like listen she left like she's a

catch she didn't want me I'm respecting

that and like who am I to challenge that

and Alec is like you're the dude who

[ __ ] wants to be with her so if you

want to be with her let her [ __ ] know

right and so crew like words right well

then crew's like fine if she wants me

she can come get me I'll put two like

I'll put tickets under her name for the

season opener like that is my offer in

my Olive Branch so we are now at

Eleanor's Salon launch

party where she is uh not

thriving and Millie and Samantha like

pull her in the back and then Samantha's

like listen I was going to wait until

tonight because I I wanted to check and

and see how you were doing cuz if you're

doing well I wasn't going to bring it up

at all but since you clearly still seem

to be struggling crew did leave tickets

for you for the season

opener and elor's like okay when is it

Samantha's like well it started an hour

ago I'd I'd kind of been waiting and El

was like for as much as I love my sister

in this moment this was not her best

kill her yes so Millie and Eleanor ditch

the salon launch party to go to the

football game but then when they get to

their seats they're realizing they're

like [ __ ] crew is probably not going to

look over here to to just be reminded of

the fact that she ghosted him and wasn't

in the seats so they all start trying to

like shout his name and then they get

other people in their area to start

shouting his

name which is not loud enough because

they're in a [ __ ] football stadium so

Elanor is like

well guess the only thing to do is to

jump the rail oh no and get on the field

I was like she's going to flash her

tits no okay we're getting on the field

got it have worked slightly better

because she's on the field and she

starts to see security coming for so

she's like hauling at she's like running

faster than I've ever run in my entire

life out of the corner of her eye she

sees like Nate block a security guard

for her so she can keep running down the

field and then finally screams his name

and it's like CW right as she tackles

him and right as she thinks she's about

to have this sweet moment two guards

come and her away and then they're

confused when crew like get your hands

[ __ ] off of her like okay sorry bro

and then after this the sweet moment

everyone's cheering everyone's very

happy realizing what happened Security's

like she's not going to real jail but we

are going to take her to we have to

detain her Arena jail Arena jail you can

pick her up after the game that is where

she will be but then like as the

security guard is walking her out he

looks at her and he's like may as well

wave to the camera is all that cheering

is for you right

now and then the EP log they go back to

Vegas and get married at the White

Chapel but with like a hundred friends

that time cute but then they promised

her parents that they would have a real

wedding that's really fun that's like

low

angst fun yeah I'm like the biggest

issue is that they just like never

communicated actual feelings right but

outside of

that it like truly and quite frankly

I've been sitting here this whole review

I don't think I

the wit and humor of the book Justice

like it is really funny

um thoroughly enjoyed okay so what's our

ratings I was like we could do dice or

we could do Stanley

tuis we started with Stanley you know I

had a the funny thing is I had actually

been thinking like wedding dice rings as

well not well a wedding ring that is a

dice ring but no I like Stanley tuis

yeah

um I'm going to go out to 20 Stanley

tuis because he deserves 20 he does he

Stanley he deserves

everything I'm going to

go 17 or 18 Stanley tuis damn dude okay

yeah okay I'm that feels like a high

rating for us but no it's a very fun

read okay well I'm gonna add it to my

list now absolutely honestly the the all

three of the books if they're still in a

series together or if they're separate

would would still recommend all three

thoroughly enjoyed Tangled in Tinsel

which has objectively the least amount

of plot of the three because the whole

premise is that Samantha is a designer

and they all got snowed in got it and

then they all [ __ ] and they all realize

they want to keep [ __ ] and then they

end up in a relationship and then this

one and then the final one they all uh

are in Hawaii on vacation together right

but

like yeah very low angst across the

board in a very nice way that's cozy

like it's a nice cozy easy read there is

a lot more boning than I probably sure

like there's a decent amount of smut so

while it's very funny there's also if

you're looking for like a lotze low inks

yes would recommend this one for sure

awesome I love that yes

well

awesome I was like what am I saying I

don't know I started sentence and then I

didn't have an ending for it so happens

to the best of us all right we're going

to go like 17 Stanley tuis yeah out of

20 yeah 17 out of out of 20 Stanley

tuchis let us know how many tuis you

would rate this like comment subscribe

yes um on all of the platforms we we got

them all anywhere you want to stream do

we have Tik Tok back I don't think we

have Tik Tok back I think we got banned

on Tik Tok you guys which I don't really

know what happened like like our entire

account got like complet not like a

video got removed and not that we were

really active on Tik Tok we just like

had the handle we will be active on Tik

Tok at some point so be on the lookout

well if we can get unbanned yeah not

find us on your reels and honestly if if

Tik Tok ends up getting banned in the US

anyways you know you'll have to find us

on your wheels regardless so so maybe

just start on Instagram share your

recommendations with us but we love and

appreciate you guys please let us know

any books that uh are either so

wonderful you'd like us to review them

or so horrible you would like us to

review them truly the uh the likes the

ratings The subscriptions really go a

lot farther than uh we tend to give them

credit for so if you are a fan that

would be lovely and if you don't have

time no one's offended no we're all good

man we're just happy to be here yeah we

love you we appreciate you and on that

note goodbye smut [ __ ]

bye well that's it for this week's mut

[ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it

sure was great for us if you're digging

what we're doing it would mean a lot if

you'd take a minute to rate and review

the show wherever you're listening right

now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend

us an ear we love you we appreciate you

and we'll see you next week stay Spidey

[Music]

EP 61: Knot So Lucky by Trilina Pucci
Broadcast by