Smut Club

well hello All You Beautiful

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Chelsey and

Hannah hello and welcome to smack Club

hey everybody I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea

and this is the podcast where we

sometimes Day drink sometimes don't

today is definitely a day drinking day

though got to got a day drink for this

content also not okay I'm not saying

that when there are more difficult

things in your life that you should

automatically drink as a coping skin

skill M it is not a healthy coping skill

correct yeah

um so that's not why we're drinking more

today yeah but it's also not

not why we're drinking more today yeah

so

um yeah we we sometimes Day drink while

we

review our favorite and sometimes least

favorite yeah uh trashy romance novels

yeah so uh

so Hannah uh it outlined and chose

today's book that we will be reviewing

what what is today's book

Hannah it is the Lady of rook's grave

Manor by Katherine Moon and um Catherine

with a C or a k a k and a y and no e

thank you okay I understand the

Catherine yeah um and I feel like I need

to be clear here that when Chelsea says

I chose this it was requested so many

times it really was yeah yeah so I read

this book oh but pause no I was going to

say I was going to say okay I'm I'm I'm

going to out myself about it okay

because I read this book like two years

ago and told you that you had to read it

and I think you got 10 pages in and

we're like Hannah I will not I mean I

think I got

20 I yeah I read 20 and went I can't

wait for Hannah to review this

book but once again I just want to know

a lot well I might still feel the same

about it now a lot of my reads in 2022

when I was

pregnant uh I was following far more of

the whims of like I'm feeling this one

or I'm not feeling this one in the

moment cuz I was just like I'm too

nauseous and food diverse and to tired

yeah and tired to to give this book more

brain power than I can in this moment so

I do wonder if some of the

recommendations you gave me in

2022 um would land different now however

considering you text me last night and

you're like Chelsea I lost the plot it's

just one long sex scene like I'm like

maybe I didn't I'm clearly getting ahead

of myself well so we're going to jump in

because there's no other way to do it

because that's the way that c chose to

do it and so that's the way that we're

going to do it if it's good enough for

Catherine it's good enough for us amen

my sister-in-law's name is also

Catherine this is not for her spelled

the same way no then it doesn't count

with a K but not with a Y with an i and

e yeah yeah yeah so um Esther is our

main yes

lady she is a maid so this is like it is

a parent normal reverse herum set in

like what feels like Victorian England

so but that's never really actually said

okay it was never said no I feel less

crazy from the 20 pages I

read but it that's just the the vibe um

yeah like there's not like technology

there's not modern day autron if you

will correct correct so we open with

Esther she's a maid she's eavesdropping

on her mistress

who's in with her doctor and there's

this like loud buzzing sound and lots of

moaning and Esther starts to touch

herself in the hallway from the jump

right off the rip and the doctor comes

out and catches her doing that and so

she like rushes away and just grabs a

random stable boy to [ __ ] in the

barn I'm so

for the rest of this book if this is

where we're starting so that's the open

that's the

open so

I okay just saying maybe this is a

personal personal thing if someone were

to catch me masturbating in a

hall may as well have just taken a cold

shower there is no chance that I am

still sexually aroused after that has

happened yeah I know I'm mortified if

yeah and maybe that says more about me

and things I need to process about

myself

but well I think just simply the idea of

masturbating in a hallway where I

work because that's essentially what she

did you mean that the Residential

Treatment Center my boundaries are

different I

love no one is shaming her boundaries

we're just noting our person personal

boundaries are a little different yeah

so Esther then we jump ahead a little

bit Esther is um how far ahead are we

jumping just like a week or two oh okay

she is panicking a little bit because

the um house where she works where she's

a maid is shutting down so somehow the

money was mismanaged and she doesn't

have anywhere to go she doesn't have

another job lined up she lives there she

works there so she's like well I worked

for a not worked I volunteered for a

crisis hotline that went under because

they mismanaged their funds I was like

it is a volunteer run line right I have

so many questions right like what funds

yes I'm like what what was there to

mismanage right just your personal

salaries and you [ __ ] that like I just

managing the phone lines I was gonna say

paying for the phone lines yikes guys

how many phone lines did you have yeah

i' I've thought about that on a couple

of occasions and been like I clearly

didn't have all of the details right but

I do have a lot of the

questions which is fair yes okay so much

like the crisis hotline I volunteered

for yeah her home the estate the estate

has also mismanaged their funds correct

so the doctor who is Dr Underwood shows

up and he's like you should come meet me

at my office after it closes I have an

offer for you and the Doctor Who caught

her diddling herself the week before is

like come to my office after closes I

got an offer yeah okay and um she's like

sure but could you tell me what that

buzzing sound was and he's like all will

be

revealed if you come to my office a

vibrator

yeah one for one for

Chelsea our great from the 20 Page I

read yeah nailed it I'm just going to

say any guess I get after this I

actually get credit for because I didn't

read we read fast so like okay part of

my concern for Esther here is that she

goes she doesn't know this man it's

after dark his office is closed there's

no one else there and I'm like this is

high-risk behavior and I'm worried about

you I mean okay I hear where you're

coming from that it is high-risk

Behavior but also she's about to be

homeless with no job so high highrisk

Behavior High reward Behavior correct

that's correct and there's so much

reward for her in this

experience so my notes literally say she

goes and knows they're going to [ __ ]

she's a Randy little

puppet I don't know if that's a quote

from the book I I don't know but it's in

my

notes oh know Hannah when you outline a

book when you're a few drinks in you

just feel yourself on the outline I do

yeah everybody gets a

nickname like everyone gets a nickname

at some point we just stop describing

how people actually feel and just

describe everything as big mad I just

free associate

happy

yeah so she shows up and he's like hey

so listen there is a manner that might a

good fit for you to go work at um not

like the manner you already work at this

one manages their funds right this is a

different one um and he's like he's cute

and he's a little bit awkward and um he

tells her to get naked and get on like

the the couch

yeah and uh she's like Roger

Wilco you got it bud and does that so

she notices that The Rock what so that's

from it's from like mash or something

but Roger Wilco is like I heard you will

comply oh yeah yeah we have radios at

work and I have to tell you I don't even

know where this quote came from but from

somewhere there is a quote where a guy

says Roger wil go senorita and every

time I get on the radio it takes

everything within Me Not not to just be

like Roger Wilco senorita to everything

anybody says so so what I'm going to

need you to start doing on the work

radio do you remember the show Community

yes uh great show where and they had all

of like the well well well Harvey kitel

like all of those that's what it made me

think of with like all of I swear

Community had like 10 or 15 of those

with just like different names that they

were dropping for different scenarios

and I was like I need to start utilizing

these more often

yeah yeah it's a golden opportunity it

really is yeah it's loow hanging so I

was telling Vance earlier and I don't

think I'd ever really processed this

until I said it out loud I was like yeah

as a kid I was like I loved long form

jokes yeah he goes you loved long form

jokes as a

child and I was like yeah I used to like

find the best ones and then I would

print them and then work on my delivery

of

them that's so cute man literally he go

[ __ ] I'm so obsessed with you the

sweetest moment but it was I was like

yeah I was like you know me just walking

around the church cuz that was where we

had our so me working

working yeah I was like I'm like 9 years

old working on my tight

10 like it never really dawned on me

like I was telling a Vance I was like

yeah okay I was like do you remember

that joke like a blonde brette and a red

head we like all in this like swimming

competition yeah yeah the swimming

competition and it was a breaststroke

competition and every like everyone

finishes except the blonde and like

hours later she finally makes to the end

she's like I don't want to get the other

girls in trouble but I don't think they

were using their breast I told Vance I

was like Vance that was the joke that

was one of my that was a top tier joke

as a 9-year-old I was like well no [ __ ]

that's a top tier joke as a 9-year-old

imagine being at church and 9-year-old

walks up to you and it's like so a

blonde brunette and a redhead enter a

swimming

competition and the

punchline is I don't think the other

contestant were using their

breast yeah

um and I really feel like that says all

you need to know about me that's a very

good insight into you as a person yeah

it really is cuz I knew that was your

favorite joke as a child I did not know

that we were telling it at church

duh we were telling I mean I should have

known honestly yeah that's on me where

else was I going I was gonna say that's

on me yeah for not just

assuming I was not good enough at sports

as a child to have a team to share these

jokes

with I played solo sports for that

reason I get it and for other reasons

such as I really wasn't that good at any

of them I was not a good team player no

I I uh which was not uh yeah I W well I

was good on like a tennis

team but a a team where we all have to

rely on each other right was not where I

thrived but I think I didn't Thrive

because like while I said it a little

like jokingly

like a lot of like sports did not click

for me and I did not stick with any

sport long enough for it to click for me

so I think there was also like just a

level of insecurity right or like even

being a kid knowing like I'm not good at

this and these people like really care

about this yeah and I would like

legitimately internalize that as a kid

and be like I'm going to make like it's

going to be on me that this team loses

because everyone else is so good and I'm

not yeah and I don't know if everyone

was actually that good but I was

definitely that

bad they could have been on my level

yeah but they could have Al they could

all be Olympians at this point and I'd

be like yeah sounds right they were that

good right right and I think if Esther

were to be in the

Olympics you'll you'll see what [ __ ]

yeah I don't know why I was trying to

build SP one for one on my guessing on

for two actual

guessing

so she notices that the doctor's eyes

are changing colors like as he's talking

to her okay and she's like and not like

weird transition lenses on glasses

actual eyes right from green to blue

they're going okay so like both like

human still human eyes Still Human yeah

but different colors she calls him sir a

lot and in a sexy way yes in a way that

reads is sexy or just as supposed to be

sexy

um I'm going to let people experience

that how they

will you know for some it may be yeah

okay yeah regardless the dock is super

into it and so is

she so um he gets out the vibrator he's

teasing her from behind she understands

what the sound was now

yes um she comes really hard he's super

into it um and the teasing continues and

then his voice sounds different like

kind of growly and stuff

and um she comes again he starts [ __ ]

her from behind because his voice

changed is that what no he was also

fingering her while using the

vibrator I'm so sorry and his voice

changed and she just came on the spot

yeah she's like I'm into that no it he

was also fingering her um so it was the

digital penetration that was happening

not digital

penetration no oh I've told you that

story haven't I oh no I feel like you

have but I'm I'm sure that I have

because we were doing a treatment

team

and a work story it's a work story we

were doing a treatment team and some

things had

occurred and our risk manager who at the

time she was kind of a little bit more

buttoned up person used the phrase

digital

penetration in on like on the call with

everybody before 9:00 in the morning so

when I tell you like the work chat blew

up with everybody messaging each other

being like digital

penetration no other words were needed

none no context was necessary digital

penetration so yeah it was a lot to

process that early in the

morning yeah I just in general okay and

I know we've talked about this before as

well trying to make things sound

clinically appropriate for

documentation like when we had the guy

when I worked crisis that uh removed a

chunk of his dick when he was psychotic

and my teammate was like so can I put he

removed his Oscar from his Meer

wiener I'm like yes in the medical note

that gets sent to Medicaid you

can I mean they will know what you

meant we all yeah yeah we all will yeah

yeah it's not subtle no but you're like

how do

I say this professionally because as

soon as you go to use the word

chunk chunk is the problem I feel like

it just goes off the r chunk is the

problem chunk is a remove a por like a

portion removed a chunk

the underside like what remove the under

chunk

I I would gag If Ever I was reading a

book and they referred to anything as an

under

chunk and yet why has JS Scott probably

already done

it Jan Jan I've missed you yeah we're

gonna have to revisit J yeah we need a

good have we had a single Jan read in

single in season two dear stalker oh

you're right yeah from the jump we came

out yeah We Came Out Swinging oh [ __ ]

Jen I love her so much we miss you we'll

we'll find you again we promise okay so

his voice is changing right there is

digital penetration happening it was not

the voice change that threw her into

orgasm correct and then he starts

[ __ ] her from

behind she specifically notes that he is

not that big but she's super into it

like his dick is not like super huge or

anything but he knows what he's doing

with it she loves it

honestly I appreciate it that should

happen in more books yes why does

everyone need a 13inch long dingling I

know right it's like I'm not that big

I'm 8 in and like two across and I'm

like Jesus Christ I'm not that big I'm

11 in long and she can't close her

fingers around me yes why are all of

these time wide she can't why are we

both also holding our hands like this

like how big would it

be like okay so my hand fingers I'm like

which finger are we

connecting cuz if I'm

connecting right it changes it's

different yeah it

really we have to stop none of this

matter so it's he's not that big she's

still into it um and then he starts to

get like he he clamps down on her neck

when she tries to turn to look at him

and he's like do not look at me and he

starts to get bigger inside of her oh

and he says that his name is Mr Tanner

so originally the doctor was Dr

Underwood and he's like I'm Mr Tanner

you can call me sir too and she's like

um okay okay question

mhm is he a monster or is he

dissociated um

monster lowkey that's preferred yeah

yeah yeah yeah it is it is so when we

say his dick grew inside her

yeah substantially would like if you're

noting it right so that it barely fits

is what it says in the book okay yeah so

it's like a a big change and um

interesting Sensation that would be

right yes I didn't say Pleasant no but I

did say interesting different yes yeah

and so um they're continuing to [ __ ]

he's like spanking her and stuff and

then all of a sudden the doctor is back

like so the voice changes again and then

he shrinks again correct and he uh she

comes again they both fin Harum with

just one person who's a monster no no

that would be really good though um I

was like Hannah you [ __ ] is that what's

about to happen no no no so um he tells

her this manner serves

monsters and she's going to be very well

cared for there um and then as we have

spoken about sometimes there are like

tidbits that are dropped that you're

like ooh is that going to be a thing and

so you put it in the notes this is one

of those that does matter or doesn't

matter does not at all never is

mentioned again she reveals she doesn't

know her parents that's the only

backstory we ever receive for

Esther that's the only backstory is

she's just thinking about how she

doesn't know who her parents

are and that's it is he still inside of

her I don't know God damn I don't know

anymore I love that's the old

you know Hannah quite frankly what more

do we need to know about Esther not a

single thing and we don't find out

really anything any background about

most of the other characters it's just

like they show up they're monsters they

[ __ ] like that's really it so I love

that they have the safe place to express

thems yeah so grateful for that so she

agrees she gets dropped off at the Manor

and she's greeted by this huge dude with

pale skin and his name is

Booker and The Madam comes out her name

is mags she introduces her to things

gives her the lay of the land um and

tells her not to leave her room until

her men have claimed her so she says um

the the Madam explains everything is

always going to be her choice she will

probably have several Men Four or more

but it it's always going to be up to her

whether she takes them on or not okay

but also when you say like four or

more sure maybe they all [ __ ] together

at some point in the future but I'm

interpreting that more as like cool you

aren't just going to be like opening

your legs for every single person in the

house like you will have people that

will claim you they are the ones that

you will serve while you are here right

okay and there may be additional jobs

like if someone comes in we may ask you

to do that but for the most part the

clientele is consistent and they stick

with one woman in the house okay so

these men are not also sleeping with

other women in the house basically okay

um so she's super fascinated by I don't

know if Esther would have a problem if

they were she wouldn't and we'll get

there so um you're like she wouldn't and

she doesn't correct so um she's super

fascinated by Booker the guy who

welcomed her and she wants to learn more

about him and and he's very like cold

and closed and like really short and

she's like I will crack this like I will

learn more will he be one of her herum

yes he will he will eventually two for

two so then she watches another girl

[ __ ] a werewolf on the lawn from her

window while she masturbates I think

that's about where I stopped reading

yeah I remember her being a Voyer at

some Lev yeah yeah um wait is that the

right word yes okay it is yeah is is

Voyer the right for both watching and

enjoying no what's the other one

exhibitionist exhibitionist damn it yeah

that's the one I was like it's it's on

the tip of my tongue I mean and she's

both but not in this

situation um so the next morning she

goes for a walk by the

lake she falls asleep as she's like

sitting down by the water and she has a

dream about a sphinx named aan and he

tells her that am m o n yes so it's not

amen

no amen amen yeah that's why I'm

choosing to say it am I don't know aan

feels better for me as long as it feels

better for you that's what

matters it's your pleasure that matters

in this

moment it's not

who's does it's our

podcast name it and claim it

girl noted thank you for empowering me

in that I appreciate

it so

aan tells her in the dream that he's

going to be one of her men that he's on

his way like he's coming for her and

he's like would you like to make me

come and she's like like what and he's

like I will make you come in your dream

would you like that and she's like you

know I would I would like that but

before anything can get rolling um she's

awakened by some Rando from the

village and he makes her very

uncomfortable and is getting a little

bit handsy with her and Booker shows up

and kind of saves the day and like walks

her back and he tells her that that guy

that specific guy has been an issue with

the other girls in the past and should

not have ever been on their property

like he knows he's not supposed to be

there okay so it's not like she was

sitting on the edge of the property line

and he was there it's like he was

clearly trespassing yeah he was trolling

cuz he like it's like a very poorly kept

secret that this is essentially a

brothel but like the local folks don't

necessarily know it's for Monsters and

so he's like I mean if they're cool to

dick down all the dudes who show up just

call me Aladdin right right cuz I have

no money to pay for these services but I

desperately want them but I do have a

Magic Carpet e like yes that's very much

the energy

so they get back to the house and the

Madam tells her that another guy is

coming to see her his name is

auste and um Auguste Auguste is how I

choose to say it it's August with an e

on the end in full disclosure throughout

my notes I call him Gus I was lit I was

like a Gus Gus is what I I have a

coworker who named her son Gus it's not

short for anything it's just Gus he's

the cutest that's actually adorable

right yeah um I was laughing super hard

though because we were all on a link

yesterday while we were working and she

just kind of like gasps a little bit

she's like guys look at this super cute

that my son's school just sent us he's

playing in

mud and the photo was so adorable and

you could tell how happy she was and

she's like yeah that is kind of the

thing about his school they'll send him

home like this she goes he has three

more hours of school he will return home

just as muddy if not more muddy than he

currently is she's like I have a new car

well newer car she's like [ __ ] at least

she's happy right right he's having a

good time

we love that he gets to be a kid truly

good for Gus yes and you could see how

happy he was in all of that mud yeah he

was thriving and I'm like he's so cute

yeah it's such a cute name I love that

yeah this guys is less cute cuz he's a

vampire is he going to be in her herum

yeah he's got to be cute enough right

yeah does he

she seems like a willing hole is kind of

her personality very much

so like so like The Madam has the other

girls in the house explain what it's

like to be with a Vampire so she knows

what to expect so that she won't be like

freaked out or anything getting bit yeah

they're like there's only a little bit

of blood play like don't worry about it

and she's like okay so oh just a little

yeah oh positive no

problem

yeah yeah that's the energy help me so

she gets a dress delivered and it's from

the dock to wear for Gus because they're

actually friends and so the doc is like

Gus will love this on you like I I

already know he's going to love you like

this is for you but the doc doesn't live

at the manner no right so he send like

has it delivered or whatever perfect

just wanted to make sure that I had that

right yeah none of the men live there

this is just it's a it's like a brothel

for

theen a brothel brothel it's a brothel

brothel the only man that lives there or

men Booker is Booker and we are getting

now to mag's explains to Esther that

Booker is a Golem and he is made of

marble

um so mags has magic and created Golems

who is mags The Madam okay she is the

Madam I just want to make sure so she

has created the Golems to be like

security and servants in the

house but she has the Madam of the house

has created all of these marble men who

take care of them and yeah okay so ma

tells Esther that technically Booker is

fair game if she's interested in him and

that Booker has already requested to be

in her service only so he also enjoys

her

apparently Gus shows up who who is

Esther not willing to accept like two of

them the creepy dude from town yeah and

one other one that we'll get

to so Gus shows up and um he has made

her dinner with like lots of sweets

because he's a pastry chef she eats a

bunch of stuff they talk for a really

long time and she just like suddenly

asks like so are we going to [ __ ] in the

kitchen or the bedroom like

what

um they kiss there's some biting

involved he carries her

upstairs um he bites her tit and other

places are what my notes say um he won't

let her come there's a lot of like no

Hannah

no Hannah what biting other

places yeah the only other acceptable

answer is like her ass

cheek maybe maybe I didn't write it down

so I'm guessing that it's not her ass

cheek yeah I would guess that as well

from the general tone of this book so

far uh I didn't realize I leaned so far

away from my microphone but apparently I

really was struggling in that moment

sorry you just needed a moment for

yourself with this book I did playing

out um so there's orgasm denial oh and

um he eats her out

eventually um she rides him comes a lot

more is what my notes say um he says

that she should rest and she says only

if he wakes her in an hour between her

legs they [ __ ] some more so I know you

probably didn't but something I would be

very curious to do with this book is you

know like sometimes when we page count

yes where you're like that page you're

like that sex scene was 37 Pages you're

like that was like a three chapter sex

scene I feel like this book is like

filled with opportunities to just be

like and then they [ __ ] for 40 41

Pages 401 for sure it's like the energy

of this one so much so um so he is there

for three more nights they spend each

night together um he says he has to go

for a while but he's going to come back

and he'd like to take her to London um

they're out by the lake like going for a

walk in the evening or at night since

he's a vampire and um yeah probably

after the sun has set correct and he

sees they they see someone flicking the

lights in her room on and off oh over

and over and over again and Booker had

been guarding her bedroom door and he's

like nobody went in like I don't I don't

understand what could have happened so

they all go in together and Gus because

he's a vampire and has super senses he's

like someone was in here like I can

smell that someone else was in

here and Gus is like book you stay with

her all the time while I'm gone like I

want you in her

to okay so quick

question I know Gus had kind of said

like oh like I want to take you to

London or wherever so she can she's free

to leave the house with her suitors and

and such yes she's not like required to

stay on premises no and like there's no

mention of like a contract that she has

to be there for a certain amount of time

or feel like everyone is just doing what

feels right to them in this matter

yes yeah um so mags The Madam um says

that there are Wards up um so no one

could have gotten in to her

room so

H

she is alone with Gus again Esther is

and tells him that she wants

Booker and he asks if he can watch like

that's his only he's like that's cool

could I watch

so not like she wanted Booker to feel

safe she was just like I got some some

aches and feel empty in a way that only

Booker will fill me yeah okay like I

need that marble dick

basically it's easy to

clean good point good point um or is

marble the porest I was going to say

isn't Granite the one that's

porous which one which one is porous

it's not easy to clean either way it

should be sealed I feel natural natural

stone should be sealed I'm pretty sure

should be

sealed right when it's your countertop

it's got to be sealed when it's your

dick it should also be

sealed wrap it before you tap it but

maybe you just wrap it with a sealant I

was going to say put some urethane on

there whatever the [ __ ] you put on a

countertop I don't know I don't have

natural stone counters so I wouldn't

know

but

anyway so yeah Esther's like I'm feeling

a little empty in a way only a marble

dick would fill me right and Gus is like

sounds good as long as I can sit in the

corner yeah okay yeah but then like

nothing comes of that Gus is gone and

she's with Booker and

um she's really curious about him cuz

she like doesn't know like

what like do Golems have any kind of

like free will or agency or like what's

going on there yeah valid question and

um so she asks if he can feel and he

says that essentially she makes her she

makes him feel like a

man just her

yeah cuz you know until you my dick was

just marble right and now I'd like to

put that marble

somewhere and with you here I'd love to

polish that

marbley so as they're having this cute I

guess moment um max calls them inside

and she's like book I need to talk to

you for a little bit and he's like nope

I'm not leaving

Esther and Ma is like I I have to talk

to you this like won't take long so

Esther is like it's going to be fine I'm

just going to go take a nap and she runs

into an invisible man in her

room why wouldn't she yep so he tells

her not to scream he says his name is

Ezra he heard about the manner but can't

afford the

does um so we should call him Aladdin

yeah he has much more Aladdin energy um

and but he saw her walking outside

decided he wanted her and that he wanted

to protect her so what he had been the

one flicking the lights on and off in

the room to protect her to get her

inside because there was some kind of

danger by the lake that he knew about

but we don't know about right so he's

flicking the lights to get her inside

which was effective I guess so he tells

her he was cursed with invis

invisibility by a witch um um he's a

thief and so he asked the witch to make

him uncatchable and she was like sure

thing kiddo you're invisible and you can

get through any Wards but no one will

ever see you

congratulations so he's essentially

Addie

laru yes yes he this character what was

his name Ezra Ezra is a hybrid between

Addy laroo yeah and Aladdin yes that's

very much the energy okay

um I feel like I know what I'm walking

into now and he shows up and he's like

we are I like I'm meant to be with

you give me a night to prove

it she she doesn't seem like she'll put

up a fight she's like she does negotiate

she says I'll give you an

hour top tier

negotiation yeah yeah nobody negotiates

like Esther for sure

um if you can't make me come in the next

hour just forget about it right correct

so he teases her he finally [ __ ] her

she wants a mirror so she can see

herself being [ __ ] by an invisible man

this comes up repeatedly so he's fully

invisible and the other guys are

watching eventually we'll get there but

right now she's watching she's like well

look at that [ __ ] stretch like

literally I'm like you know okay all

right I had I had been imagining this

scene with like okay she's like watching

herself in the mirror and then I'd

actually I was like okay so reverse

cowgirl would probably be the or on all

I don't know it doesn't matter something

where she can see in the mirror and see

her her vagina stretch yeah yeah it

hadn't really dawned on me that that

would be visible if the person entering

you was invisible yeah but I guess it is

it is good for you Esther way to get you

some yeah for sure um so some of that

invisible strange for real and it's very

strange um he she tells him that uh she

wants him to sneak up on her and take

her without saying a word she comes

super hard and so does he and as all of

that's kind of wrapping up mags comes to

the door The Madam with aan the Sphinx

and he is big mad so mad um that Esther

is currently occupied mhm because he can

see the Invisible Man oh yeah what so

aan has because he's a sphinx he has

tons of like

abilities um so like he can

see a lot of things that like other

people

can't

um and so aan has spent all of this time

on this very uous Journey yes and

laborious Journey yes to get to Esther

and when he finally gets to Esther she's

[ __ ] someone else yes okay so Esther

is like well I guess I'm going to have

to find a new place to live pretty sure

I'm going to be in

trouble like whoops because you know the

dude she's [ __ ] did not pay any dues

did not like follow any of the rules and

so um max talks to her and she's like

you're not going to be kicked out but

you need do need to apologize to aan um

and to the other men that have claimed

you right um because they did pay and

they did follow the rules and you didn't

right um so at this point we have Gus

the vampire

yep Booker the granite dick y mhm mhm

marble dick they haven't [ __ ] yet but

she wants to yes we

have

amen AO AO yeah we have invisible dude

yes and we and the doctor doc slash Mr

Tanner yes so there's five are there

going to be

more no I was like are there I don't

think so

um that's good cuz this is a lot to keep

track so much so she calls Booker to

help her um out of the bath um and he

gets a little handsy and she's real into

it um she does apologize to aan um he

arrived early without warning she was

like if you had told me you were coming

like I I would not have been coming

right correct I would have been ready

for for you boo you know she's like you

told me 7:00 p.m. then showed up at 3:

that is a personal problem right I don't

see how this is my mistake really but

sure Max said I had to apologize so I

guess I'm sorry sorry or whatever so

yeah Esther doesn't seem like the person

who's actually apologetic for any of her

no sexual Endeavors not especially so

mags The Madam agrees to look into

membership for Ezra because he did

protect her and apparently like the

whole house because there was like a um

feral werewolf or something I don't

really remember and it's not in my notes

but there was something out there and he

did protect the house from that um so so

now he can [ __ ] her at a discounted rate

yeah so aan is still really mad and um

asks Esther why she would waste her time

with someone like that who's a thief

when he wants to make her a queen and

she is like really agitated and she's

like bro I am clearly not a queen I'm in

a brothel like I'm not trying to be a

queen like let me live as's like I'm not

upset that I live in a brothel right I

am

claiming my

sexuality and you are repressing me a

little bit right she's like I know who I

am son like

godamn and he's like I can't believe me

a pay member right and she she's like

who gives a [ __ ] if you're paying I just

want to come and you're like hey Esther

maybe set the bar slightly higher a

little bit you know she's like no thank

you if I let the set the bar higher it

will really limit right the people the

number of dicks that I have access to

right so aan is like listen we're going

to start over tomorrow you get some rest

have a good night I will see you in the

morning bye so okay okay okay

wait Esther was [ __ ] Ezra correct aan

showed up early

yes Booker was washing her to prepare

her for aen

what so Booker was washing her because

she just wanted a bath after [ __ ]

Ezra I guess yeah she needed to get a

[ __ ] off her right I wonder if it was

invisible that is never discussed in the

book but I have a lot of questions about

it now that I thought it oh no I have so

many questions [ __ ] me I don't want to

know them I don't I don't want to know

the

answers I don't want to know the the

ansers so like in Esther's perfect world

she's like

aen I'm trying to hit three for three

tonight yeah like get off your [ __ ]

high horse and understand what we're

doing here but she's also really

irritated with him like in general

because he's being really possessive and

she's like no like we're not doing that

when especially when she's like cool you

are going to have to share me with at

least one person right like you will

never have full

right ownership right like whatever word

you want to use so they're like starting

to snipe at each other and so he's like

I we're going to start tomorrow we're

going to have breakfast tomorrow I will

see you in the morning

bye so mags wakes Esther up really early

in the morning aan is there for

breakfast he brought her a tradition and

he does have breakfast he brought her a

traditional

Egyptian dress to

wear and he says he thought about her um

not wanting to be treated like a queen

and the direct quote is um you want to

be [ __ ] so thoroughly you can't beg

for more and he's like I can do that so

um he like puts her up on the table and

like chains her to the table and pulls

up a chair and she's like what are you

doing and he's like I'm having having

breakfast so um so there's no French

toast no I'm afraid to look up French

toast on Urban

Dictionary just thought I was like is

that a euphemism for something I don't

want to know because I love French toast

so

much if it's not a euphemism it probably

will be in the future or at minimum I'm

going to ruin your day and just start

using French toast as we're just going

to make our own um I may have told you

this story before so there was a

restaurant in Nashville um that Vance

and I went to one time and that

restaurant Vance ordered French toast it

was one slice of toast that they cut in

half and then put some like cream cheese

now they like that is literally like one

piece of toast like what that's not a

serving of was like this is not I was

like [ __ ] bougie

like pretentious restaurant kind of

energy we're Americans and we want

breakfast we want a plate of French

toast well so the funny thing is that

I'm like Vance was so annoyed this was

not my order Vance ordered this he's

still annoyed about it to this day oh

I'm going to bring it up later we've

lived we haven't even lived in Tennessee

in like five years but he will still

bring it up and he's still pissed but

the best part is every time he tells the

story the cost goes up so like like

legitimately I think it was like a 12 or

$13 thing which for one piece of [ __ ]

bread Bullit far too much money not dis

at all but like he started adding like

the cost of his coffee and things like

that so now he's like I had a $19 piece

of bread and I'm like

fans I'm going to ask him about it I

think next with inflation it's gonna be

like $21 next time he tells this story

with

inflation yeah and I'm like baby it was

$12 still too much to charge for what it

was but I love that every time you tell

this story you're like do you know how

many loaves of bread I could get at the

angles for $112 at the Piggly Wiggly

come on

now at the IGA you're like do you know

how many

servings of French toast I could make

for

$122 and even the stuffed French toast

that honestly a lot yeah a lot yes last

night I was with a bunch of friends and

we needed more wine and so there's an

IGA like right next to my friend's house

and they came back like really fast and

we were like what you're also

empty-handed like what yeah and they

were like the IGA was Bare we have to go

to Eng Les would anyone like to come

like there was no wine at the IGA like

no box wine no like Barefoot whatever

[ __ ] certainly no Bowa box so Eng

Les was running a sale though we're not

sponsored byles but it'd be a lot cooler

if we were F I miss Les so much we used

to have an Eng Les that was literally

like 2 minutes from here yeah like you

you hit the stoplight you drive through

it you're in the Engles parking lot it's

now like a [ __ ] flooring decor and

I'm like no I don't need floor or Decor

I needles well and I had like right

before they closed I'd really found a

great Rhythm where I'd like go during

the day yes and just like bonded with

all of like the random people who work

at not like an overly busy Engles

grocery store mhm on a at 10:00 a.m. on

a Thursday kind of energy

right they were the sweetest I loved

those old men so much yeah it is always

old men isn't it yes and then they

closed and I was so

sad I'm like our LES was such a great

grocery

store and here's the thing do I still

have multiple Publix's within 10 minutes

that are objectively probably my

preferred grocery store sure yes I do

but there was something about just

driving through one light and like

seeing my old old men that I was like

this is

looking for in life yeah yeah that's you

know some people want to walk in at

their local bar and be known yeah and

that was your cheers yes I was like I

just want to walk into my grocery store

see my old men yeah call it a day no one

was ever there it was magical well

that's probably why I closed Chelsea cuz

no one was ever there well I assume no

one was there cuz it was 10:00 a.m. on a

work day but you're probably not wrong

yeah unfortunate where were we well

we're not eating french toast um a oh

yeah no that's not what we were eating

Aman tells her it is time to earn

forgiveness and says she's not allowed

to come until he feels like she's earned

it so um we love withholding orgasms in

this one yeah we do also um and

here maybe this says more about my sex

life than I

realized all of these books were they're

just like withholding orgasms yeah and

I'm

like you thought it was that easy to

make her come in the first place right

like right I just quick question really

College Lily thought those were orgasms

from How I Met Your Mother like that's

the energy I get from so many of these

books where they're like well I came

four times in a row I'm like oh honey

it felt nice I'm glad for that you had a

very fun experience yeah and that's so

good like I'm not detracting from the

joy that we experienced but you did not

come four times in a 10-minute period no

and with only like vaginal stimulation

that didn't happen like I love that for

you well I'm like yeah if you told me

yall like went all night like you went

multiple times even if you didn't go but

I'm like

no this like you had chainlink orgasms

back to

back I'm just in this economy chain link

is expensive I know you've been trying

to get that fence up I have that [ __ ]

sucks anyway um so there is an emphasis

on consent I will say that um he tells

her that um she can call for Booker at

any time if she wants it to stop

Booker is nearby so she can call for him

if she wants to stop

Esther Esther gives me the energy of

someone who's whispering in men's ear

there's no save word 100% because my

notes then say he tortures her for hours

what yeah until he finally [ __ ] her his

[ __ ] has a hook on it has a hook like a

piercing or because of his monster breed

he because of his monster breed he has a

hook there's no description of like is

it sharp like is this a fishing hook

because that could do damage like I'm

concerned for her wellbeing at this

point you know fish hooked her vagge

yeah he did oh my gosh I clenched at the

thought I'm not going to lie I felt

myself

clench it was a protective

move so

um he's like I'm not going to let you

stop coming now after hours of orgasm

denial and

so faking with Benefits yes yes where

you're like for hours and then like and

as soon as I put my dick in her she just

came erup came she was like a damn

geyser and you're like stop referring to

this woman as a National

Monument you did not make her come that

hard yeah you did not stop yeah you

didn't no I love that you think

that love that

confidence maybe let's have something to

back it yeah like you know like when you

can back that will I'm happy to revisit

this convo but until then for sure until

then maybe shut up um but Aman

eventually feeds her breakfast actual

breakfast actual breakfast not like

here's here's my Seaman for you right to

get your calories in no like actual food

and they spend the day together um and

the KN together and she is getting

worried that he's going to be too

possessive to share with the

others um seems like a valid concern Y

and he tells her that he is buying a

home close by so that he can be near her

he is willing to share they have a

conversation about it like he just had a

vision that she was joining The Manor

and was going to be his so he's like dop

the one I got I got money in the bank

for a house yeah we're we're doing well

he's like Immortal or some [ __ ] so he's

just got like hell of money and he's

like that one's for me got it so um I

like that as soon as we hear that

they're Immortal I'm like oh that's why

they have money right they're able to

invest in different ways you know they

get it um they knew Apple was going to

take off like it did he's like yeah

exactly he can he can have some visions

of the future so as a sphinx um of

course so he's like I am willing to

share I really don't understand the

attraction to Booker but good on you and

I really don't like Ezra at all but I

will honor the house rules so if he has

Paid Dues and does what he's supposed to

do okay like I'm I'm willing if he pays

dues I guess there's nothing I can do to

stop him from [ __ ] you but it'd be

cooler if you didn't

yes but eser gives the energy of someone

who's like I don't care if you feel like

it'd be cooler if I didn't because I

feel like it'd be cooler if I did right

and that's literally he's like I just

want to spoil you I want to give you

everything that you want and she's like

I literally would just like to be

[ __ ] like like I don't want clothes

and jewelry and all this other [ __ ] like

that's super cool and all but like I

would like to get di down

you could do that for free

like

okay like

okay does Esther need to talk to a

therapist 100% cuz if de feels like at

this level there's just some sex

addiction yeah like this do not I'm like

Esther you doing okay honey I don't

think so yeah I don't but um anyway so

she but that is her true north yeah dick

yeah dick is her true north

yeah really any dick doesn't really

matter any dick it really doesn't matter

as long as she comes she's

cool so she decides to go shopping with

another girl from the house okay and

this girl is talking mad [ __ ] about The

Men Who come to the manor for

her oh so she's not as into her men as

Esther not into it mm-m however a warm

breeze would get Esther excited at this

point correct maybe a cold breeze sure

any Breeze

yeah really any sort of stimulation is

going to be a go um which again good for

her um that old

SNL jiz in open the window and I feel

the breeze and I jiz in yes every single

thing she's like yes she's like Aman's

bringing her a present and she's like is

it a dick in a box because otherwise not

interested not [ __ ] interested yeah I

literally introduced someone to that

video like two weeks ago how could

someone not know that video because

they're younger from than us and did not

grow up in the height of that but you

know when Vance and I are singing it

under our breath and this person is

looking at us like what the [ __ ] is this

coordinated song this couple is singing

We like keep me out your bedroom y'all

what the [ __ ] yeah where like Chelsea's

like over here cou like one cut a hole

in the box and Vance across the house he

like two put your dick in that

box this guy's like did they make the

song up together like what

is who wrote a song about a dick in a

box as a married

couple somebody who's having a good

time I would not put it past Vance and I

to write a song called Dick In The Dick

in the Box wouldi you've met us I that

feels on brand yeah yeah it's not a

stretch daring but on brand enough yeah

okay sorry where where are we even so

this girl tells her um they're out

shopping she's like I hate these

monsters like I I hate it when they

touch me I don't want to spend time with

them she is trying to save up money so

that she can have a dowry to marry

someone

respectable oh and Esther's like I don't

understand that but I hope that you

achieve that goal est's like so we have

different life motivators yeah she's

like um okay like Esther's like this is

the dream yeah I am at there's no place

to go from here goal achieved no notes

on this manner correct yeah and this

other girl's like I can't wait to get

the [ __ ] out of here this is the means

to an end yeah hate it hate these men

that's so funny yeah so they get back

and Mags The Madam is very distracted

and she's like something is is wrong but

I don't know what so mag has some kind

of magic and we never really find out

what it is but she's like she can feel

that something is not right in the

energy and so she tells Esther like you

should probably stay in your room just

to be safe for right now because

something doesn't feel

right and Esther feels someone watching

her and she's like maybe maybe it's

Ezra but no one says anything and at

this point Ezra would make his presence

now yeah she starts to get a little

freaked out um like she's in her room

and feeling someone watching her yeah

deep but then she's like maybe I'm

making that up because mag said that

something didn't feel right so maybe I'm

being paranoid um So eventually she

falls asleep and Booker wakes her up and

um says The Madam wants to see her

my notes say dresses her and then

fingers her his fingers are marble and

it's an interesting sensation says he'll

do that for her every morning if she'd

like she comes twice this probably would

be cold yeah if you're into temperature

play yeah if you're into temperature

play that could be for you you know I

mean it doesn't have to be ice

cold how cold ice

cold B it's cold in here no there must

be some Booker in the

atmosphere I was thinking of outcast but

yeah that too yeah both options really

felt like they were applicable very much

you know um

yeah that would be very firm inside of

you there's not much give no to Granite

or marble no I keep wanting to say

Granite now but he's marble right and

then he's like cool you're you're

dressed and you've come twice so let's

go talk to mags so you're ready to face

the day yeah nothing like clothing and

two orgasms yeah so mags is like hey so

there's a water demon who is traveling

through and he would like some company

would you like to see him he did request

you uh and she's like bet sounds great

so Booker takes her to um there's a

Grotto under the Mansion so there's like

water like a baths essentially under the

The Manor and so she gets in the

water and Booker waits like right

outside the doorway for her and my notes

say the water starts sort of [ __ ] her

question mark and at first she's into it

and then

something like lets her know that this

is not right she's like hold on

something is wrong and she screams for

Booker but she's being dragged under the

water and she passes out and she's like

so did Max set me up to die like have I

been that problematic with Ezra and

stuff that like mags did this on purpose

um like are like her like thoughts as

she's like drowning as she's blacking

out she's like did mags do this to me so

she's being pulled in two different

directions as she wakes up okay Ezra is

there with Gus Booker and the doc who

are all taking care of

her Ezra heard Booker yell and went to

save her he was back in the house

talking to mags about his

membership and Booker is really really

agitated because he couldn't get in the

water to save her because he's made of

stone and like would have just sunk and

would have been able to get her out how

deep was the water I don't know but

apparently deep enough for Booker not to

be able to get into it there's like an

8ot deep swimming pool across the whole

bottom

apparently okay I'm sorry I'm

asking the hard asking the hard

questions about a book that is saying

please do not ask us any more hard

question the book that is saying but

have you heard about the marble penis

the book that is saying please suspense

belief and you saying but have you heard

about the penis with a hook on it um so

have you heard about the invisible penis

have you heard about the penis that can

switch sizes while inside of you Hey cuz

honestly she's really getting a wide

variety she is good on you Esther and

she's into it so max shows up and says

that um it was a water wraith who was

skilled at illusion and never should

have made it past the wards

so there's like a a

um network of these houses kind of all

over Europe is the energy of monster

Bros yes okay and so she thought that

this was a water demon who was a member

of another house and had been vetted it

was not so it was someone who like put

forth this

illusion and then aan showed up and he

is like what the [ __ ] is Ezra invisible

[ __ ] face doing here and says that mags

should have protected his property

better and he wants Esther to move to

his house he's like I don't like that

[ __ ] guy you really could have

protected my property better and because

you didn't she's going to come live with

me I mean I will

say do I understand his point when aan

has showed up twice and one time Ezra

was just [ __ ] her in secret yeah and

then one time she almost died because

someone tried to kill her right so I do

understand his concerns and

frustration with her safety right and

Esther's like yeah dude I'm not doing

that lws I do understand his frustration

yeah Esther has no [ __ ] to give not a

sing I can't tell if I love her for it

or if I need her to care more about her

safety like yeah Esther I need you to

care as much about your safety as I care

about your safety I love her sexual

Liberation like lean into that for

yourself if that's what you want to do

that's super cool good for you but also

like you could have

died yeah like was the water orgasm

worth never orgas in again

no um she's like you didn't feel the

water [ __ ] me Chelsea

so you cannot make that determination

you wouldn't know I wouldn't I I have no

[ __ ] clue but Esther's like yeah I'm

really not going to do that and Mags is

like so The Wraith was probably working

for someone else like this is probably

like a larger

conspiracy and um the guys are like hey

so that's enough Esther has had enough

of a day and she needs to

rest so um Booker and a August Gus um go

to make her some food she talks to aan

um and he says that he's really working

on his

jealousy Gus paid for Ezra's dues

because Ezra saved eser from the water

wraith um and he's like I'm really

working on it I promise

I'm going to

go um and um then the doc says that he

thinks that Ezra should help Esther in

the bath to give them some time alone

together you real one doc yeah Doc is

actually really

sweet so um Ezra bathes her he's super

respectful and kind like doesn't make a

move he just really is actually taking

care of her um which I feel like we

haven't like fully gotten to see that

from him he's just showing up and

[ __ ] her like there's no he's like

shown up and been very sexually

aggressive from the jump yeah but right

now he's like no like this is about

making sure that you're okay okay so she

says to him like you know I would have

all of you for free right and he's like

we should earn you for a little bit

longer like don't tell the other men

that like let us earn you for

longer um you know good Esther has

someone looking out for her because she

she's not looking out for herself she

has no survival Instinct no none

whatsoever like as long as you are

diddling her [ __ ] while you stab her you

can do whatever you want to her she's

into it she she's like I didn't know I

was into knives before this and you're

like no honey this isn't this isn't

sexual that should not feel good you're

going to die yes right like the

stimulation here is incidental like it's

just cuz he's on top of you

like yeah so they all eat dinner

together but aan isn't there and she's

really troubled by that that like the

rest of the men seem to be getting along

and like coming together except for him

mhm um she falls asleep with Gus and

Ezra but wakes up with the dock and

Booker brought them breakfast in bed and

Doc finally explains sharing his body

with

Tanner um and um it's a whole thing that

doesn't especially matter but there are

two of them in one

body um and she is going to being the

person with the smaller dick when you

share a body that would feel a type of

way wouldn't it yeah I wonder how Doc

Underwood so my thought just now was

what's the female equivalent of that and

I was like smaller boobs and I was like

I honestly would be like I'm so jealous

that you don't have the back pain like

it wouldn't be like oh man she's got the

big no I would be like oh that's so good

for you I'm so happy for you truly yeah

yeah no I actually I have an aunt that

like needed breast reduction surgery for

years and years and um Insurance

wouldn't cover it for her because like

her doctor was like cool you need this

much removed and um insurance was like

oh we'll only cover it if you get this

much removed and she need like her

doctor had recommended prop like 75% of

what insurance would cover and they're

like oh well then like that's not

medically necessary if you don't need

that much removed so like she find like

saved up and paid for breast reduction

surgery out of pocket good for her yeah

it has like changed her life when she

was here for the holiday she's like do

you want to see photos and I was like

thank you you so much for asking no I

don't um maybe at another point in time

I I might be more Curious I was like but

in this current moment no no thank you

no no photos of that but I do like

legitimately love it for her because it

is like a new lease on life I feel

myself hunching more and so I've been

doing like specific stretches to not

because yeah my I mean I am larger but

certainly not the largest I can't

imagine having anything bigger than what

I have holy [ __ ] you're not a very large

human no so I feel like while like your

boobs might look smaller on someone else

I feel like on

you you got great tits thank you you're

welcome yeah good looking out mine have

been on a journey yeah I bet they have

yeah still on a journey if we're being

completely honest not my favorite

Journey uh not not by one bit but I also

with all of my health like I I told my

husband years ago I was like just let

you know whenever we're done having kids

I'm probably going to get a boob job and

he's like okay godp speed my girl MH no

complaints um but then I think over time

I've been like you know with all of my

health issues I probably don't need to

be uh putting foreign substances in my

body but I I could see a world where in

the future uh like we might be done with

h like with just forward we might have

more personally not sure where we will

end up right yeah um but I'm like oh

maybe I'll just go for like a lift in

the future um a lift sounds nicer than

like putting a foreign substance in your

body but what sounds nicer than anything

is no back pain yes yeah mhm have you

always had back pain um since I was like

19 okay damn yeah like when cuz I had to

stop running because I tore my hip

flexor but I probably would have stopped

running because I was having a lot of

pain in my upper back and I would wear

like two or three Sports BS to like keep

both locked and loaded cuz I was also

like much thinner back then there wasn't

a lot to like support the

situation

so boobs are so weird they're so weird

dude when you really think about them

they're so weird dude and I'm like why

are you into that no like my husband

still quotes I sent him like that Meme

years ago yeah where it was like a like

little boy with like wide eyes like

looking really excited it was like your

first time seeing boobs then underneath

it it showed the same little boy with

like wide bright eyes and it was like

your 3,000th time seeing

boobs yeah and V like that is how I feel

I can never see boobs enough I'm glad

for that right I do look never mind

so so so yeah where aon's not there

right they were all eating breakfast and

bonding together except aan wasn't there

right nice little sleep together she

goes to London with Gus and the doc and

um they they Doc and Gus take her to a

theater that is for Monsters but he

won't tell her anything else I'm I'm

guessing it's a sex theater correct yeah

oh my God three for three yay look at me

go so Gus gives her some jewelry and

she's like you don't need to do that

like you don't need to like bribe me at

this point like I am down to clown like

you don't need to do all that and he's

like this is just a gift and if I wanted

to bribe you I would do it with sex he's

like I understand who you are okay um

he's like no no no I know you well

enough to know that if I'm bribing you

just put my hand down your pants yeah um

so my notes say they go to the theater

surprised at the sex show which you're

not surprised cuz you

guessed Esther is surprised at the sex

show yes she didn't know that it was a

sex show but I feel like she'd be into

it she very much is was surprised but

not unpleasantly so yes so they watch

various monsters to quot a guy that was

a police officer in Nashville oh no I KN

that was talking about uh on a first

date H he's like never

expected always

appreciated yes yes that is very much

Esther's energy she like oh a sex show

never expected always appreciate yes so

they watch various monsters [ __ ] various

humans on stage in various ways um Gus

starts undressing her and playing with

her

um and they're like basically feeling

each other up and they're like hey would

you like to be the third act on stage

they're essentially Lauren

bobert that was a solid joke I don't

care what so good I don't care what your

political affiliations are that was a

good joke and you can't deny

it

she goes on stage yeah she does hey with

the doc who has like electroshock wands

that he used on her like over and over

again there's a very he heavy emphasis

on consent okay um which is great we do

love that she comes really hard Gus

comes out to check on her make sure

she's okay she's like bet I'm having a

great time he's like I'm so glad I love

you bye and like goes back and then Mr

Tanner comes out behind her she's still

not allowed to see him so she's never

seen him in all this time and he's very

very much like are you ready to get

[ __ ] little girl like Dom sort of

energy so he [ __ ] her with his massive

dick while everybody watches um and she

starts begging to see him and he finally

agrees and she's like yeah he's pretty

hideous but I'm into it

so Mr tenner didn't want her to look at

him because he's an Ugo yeah he's like I

know what I look

like he's like I don't want you to be

disgusted and she's like you clearly

don't understand me as a human yet jokes

on you that dick works like

basically um [ __ ] I so they're banging

on the stage and it's very much actually

like a solidifying [ __ ] for them because

he feels like really accepted by her um

but as that's happening she sees someone

really creepy watching which I found

really uh interesting because there are

so many people watching like is there

only one creepy

one I assumed more um you know but like

I feel like there's like going to be

various levels of creepy yeah right this

is like top tier creepy and so um that's

the only one that gets noted I'm sure

there were other levels of creepy but

unless your top tier creep it's like

low-level perves and then like your

problematic like Predator

level so um they get her out um because

Tanner also sees the guy and then

they're like I actually Gus is like I

actually recognized him he's the former

king of

Gamora and he owns several houses as

well that serve monsters but they uh

care far less about

consent and um so they're making plans

to protect her um and they think that he

may be may be behind the attack on her

at the Manor okay um well what because I

feel like when you said he owns other

brothal I was like oh so he's trying to

like poach her poach her right but then

poaching her wouldn't make sense for

murdering her and drowning her and the

so what it seemed like was that The

Wraith was trying to take her like the

point wasn't to kill her was to kill her

he was oh that makes more sense it was

more incidental that she passed

out um thank you I appreciate you

clarifying that um well it wasn't clear

cuz she thought that they were trying to

kill her it really wasn't clear until

until later okay they start to realize

like there's more

here so um Esther's with Doc she gives

him a blowy starts [ __ ]

her

um they have a really nice love making

session and he says that um she should

call him Jonathan and that he has both

him and Tanner now so he h she has both

sides of him fully now okay um they

decide they're going to wait Gus um and

um she starts riding him while doc

watches like that's how she wakes him

up um and wakes Gus up while doc watches

by writing Gus uhhuh uh-huh and then um

doc starts [ __ ] Gus's ass oh while

Gus [ __ ]

her I

guess within the general conversation of

consent yeah I I did have like icky like

a yeah and I guess it that is one of

those things that like if you've

predetermined yeah that yeah but I've

read several books where like they wake

each other up by doing something yes and

if that's okay like if that's been

discussed and approved that's fine but I

really don't like that when it hasn't

been approved it feels real icky to me

yeah I have an ex-boyfriend that had a

pretty substantial trauma history and

like literally like on our first date

like it it didn't feel weird on our but

like he was like yeah so like this is my

diagnosis like but was like that was one

of the things that like he like very

clearly laid out he's like I will never

wake you up doing anything sexual nor do

I want to be woken up that is a hard

boundary for me right and I was like

absolutely so I think it having the

personal experience of a relationship

where that was such a hard boundary I

think in books I like recognize it a

little more

espe even if you've talked about consent

a thousand other times I there's like

something specific about like when you

are sleeping and at your most vulnerable

yes that's what it is like you're at

your very most vulnerable in that moment

and unless it has been discussed already

that that's fine that does feel for me

like a boundary Crossing when I'm

reading it yes I don't like it okay I I

feel less crazy and I'm glad that like

that's your experience as well cuz I was

like oh we know like maybe that's just

like my lived experience of a relation

where I was like okay it's just more on

radar but I'm glad you're like no I read

that as well and I'm like I have to like

skim that part and get to the rest where

like everybody's awake and on board cuz

I'm like or they like they consented

five chapters ago this is okay right

this has already been determined as

kosher we're moving ahead um but anyway

so they're all [ __ ] and they're

having a great time my notes say lots of

orgasms oh we love that

um Esther and Gus go back to Rooks

Grove um and yes is it Rooks Grove or

Rooks grave it's rook's grave thank you

it's a typo in my notes actually the

only reason I asked is because I

legitimately thought it was Rooks Grove

forever and then you're like yeah Rooks

grave I'm

like well I only read 20 pages so when

you just said Rooks Grove I was like oh

[ __ ] was I okay it was just a type I was

not

full disclosure I looked in good reads

like I double checked before I started

because I was like is it Rook gr one

vowel it's one vowel that will make all

the difference here got all the

difference so they go back to the manor

okay um and Mags is meeting with heads

of other houses who have had girls

kidnapped so this is like a thing that

is

happening um and um she's just spending

time with her guys um

and she's having she goes to sleep alone

and she starts having a weird sex dream

and starts panicking when she wakes up

because a strange dude is eating her out

but it's Ezra he's

visible he's visible he's

visible

um he's like I can stay visible if I

really concentrate I want you to see me

and she's like

okay she's like if you could just put

your tongue back where it was we can

talk about this later yeah basically

so she stays consistent simple girl with

her priorities she stays consistent no

guess work loving this so they bang and

then he um flickers in and out the whole

time so anyway aan comes over to check

on her um and he's still feeling very

possessive and she's like listen here's

the deal I'm falling in love with these

other men so unless you can get on board

with that like you're not going to be a

part of this like that's it he's like

but I just bought a house in town so I

could be a part of it right so he's like

I'm really going to try and she's like

as a reward allow me to blow you so

then she's like listen and he goes okay

I'll try she goes drop your pants yeah

basically so um there's more sex stuff

with her and

Booker um and she's like please [ __ ] me

and he's like Gus said I had to wait for

tonight and she's like that's some

[ __ ] why why does Gus get to set

that rule I know Gus isn't even there so

um she goes on a walk and Ezra says that

said that he would catch her by the lake

cuz that's one of her fantasies but she

hears people [ __ ] and she gets like

kind of mad cuz she thinks it's Ezra but

it's not it's that girl who hates all

the monsters oh and um The Village [ __ ]

who was trespassing she's just [ __ ]

him in the on the lawn um I

mean she seems to have some pretty

preconceived judgments about monsters

yeah so she'd rather [ __ ]

the town chump yeah than [ __ ] someone

with a hook correct sounds like a

personal problem correct so Ezra shows

up um and he tells mags

um what he saw the Madam so he also

witnessed this because part of his deal

for getting a discount on his membership

is to protect the manor so um when

you're invisible and you can have eyes

everywhere um yes so then there's like a

big essentially sex party at the house

that night um and Gus uh just like for

any reason or just cuz it's too Tuesday

just cuz it's yeah that's just this is

what we do here um so they go exploring

in different areas of the house um and

um they all [ __ ] Ezra shows up um they

go in another room he stays invisible I

thought Ezra was already

there no he was gone and then Gus showed

up and then Ezra showed back up it

doesn't matter really but they're all

[ __ ] now and then Booker shows up and

Gus tells her to [ __ ] book and make him

jealous like he's into that so she does

that

um Gus gets jealous while they're

banging so he starts [ __ ] her ass um

and then she's like hey Ezra I have an

open hole come fill my

mouth I just here's the thing if you

want to get [ __ ] down by that many

people

okay I don't really give a [ __ ] I I

think for me it's the using jealousy of

a sexual motivator right um that does

not feel healthy or sustainable some

people are into like a colding thing

when it when it's been discussed before

and like there's consent involved like

okay um and that's kind of the energy

here where Gus is like I want to see how

much other people enjoy you and then I

also want to enjoy you like it's not so

much that he's jealous that someone else

is [ __ ] her it's more

like I'm jealous that I'm not so I'm

going to

join okay does that make sense I can

work with that more um so um Booker so

they all fall asleep and then Booker is

by the window when she wakes up but he

seems wrong like something's not right

and it turns out that the king of

gomorah has possessed him and so tries

to kill Ezra and um or not Ezra sorry he

tries to kill Esther and Booker forces

the king out like realizes he's present

enough to realize he's hurting es and

hurting Esther right so the king of

gomorra like Sodom and Gomorrah that

gomorra yes yeah that's how it's spelled

so I assume so the king of gomorah is

trying to kill her he was not trying to

steal her that time he was actually

trying to kill her he is now but I don't

know that we ever really understand why

there are some plot

holes so I have no idea what you're

talking about this book has no plot

holes no I have no notes on this one at

all tracks yes so after book comes back

to himself pretty much all the men show

up MH and Mags says there's a tether

between her and and all of her Golems

because she created them and her tether

to book Fray when he chose Esther and so

that's what made him vulnerable to being

possessed so if

listen of all of the things that they

choose to give an explanation for in

this book this is the one one that's the

one because then they do a whole

ceremony to tether book to Esther so

that it can't happen again

okay um well that's good we love safety

precautions

yes um and my notes say aan reveals he

can basically know everything the sun

touches question mark because he just

shows up and he's like I heard there was

trouble and she's like how how did you

do that everybody else was here that's

how they know but like the [ __ ] and he's

like I know things the same way he knew

that she was joining The Manor he's like

I [ __ ] and I know

things that's it

what a strong Instagram bio right I [ __ ]

and I know things

yes

um

so the ritual is effective um congrats

Booker they're all hanging out in

bed and aan says he wants to have

everyone over to his house for dinner

he's like I'm really trying to show I'm

making an effort here I would like to

invite everyone and

um a and w makes Esther up by surprise

[ __ ] her um she [ __ ] some more

people for the record I'm not laughing

at her sexual openness and conf no I

know you're

not it's just like and then she [ __ ]

this guy and then she [ __ ] that guy

and then she [ __ ] them together yep

and then [ __ ] another literally it's

like Ezra is [ __ ] her but won't let

her finish and then he turns invisible

and is like let's wait and see who shows

up to finish you haha and then book

shows up and is like well look at you

allow

me it's like the what the

[ __ ] um it turns out Ezra has planned

the whole thing so doc also shows up and

everybody's [ __ ] and then they have

dinner at Aman's

Mansion um and he tells her he wants to

take her from the manor when she's ready

if she wants so that they can all be

together um he is much more open to all

of them now that he knows them better so

aan so like in this like Aman's like hey

everyone come live in my house yeah

let's all do it and if we're all doing

her we may as well all live here

together he's like if we all want ready

access we should all be Under One Roof

and my notes say Esther agrees because

she's a thirsty

[ __ ] she's real into it there was never

a chance Esther was going to disapp no

there was no chance of like a decline no

at no point was Esther going to be like

I've actually thought about this this

isn't for me yeah yeah nope Esther's

like all in I threw away all my

underwear so I didn't have to bring it

in the

move y yep yep yep but you know what I

kept the crotchless ones hey like kind

love Esther like for as much as I'm like

Esther you're a little onedimensional

baby girl I'm like she knows what she's

about

unapologetically 100% And then they all

[ __ ] like they all give her a massage

and then this is the first time they

have all [ __ ] together and there's a

lot of

detail okay the vibrator shows up again

so I'll say this for the number of like

reverse Harum books that I've read that

I review all of those things there are

some scenes that you're like this scene

yeah you're like cool very into what's

happening

here but at the same

time I get very overstimulated very

easily and I'm like I feel like four men

massaging you at once feels please don't

touch me yeah feels great in theory but

in practice I'm

like hell but if my cat and my dog are

on me with a weighted blanket I'm like

this is too much stimulation right I'm

like four to five people massaging you

at once just don't touch me too many

hands okay but also there have been a

couple challenges on inkmas oh where

they've had like four people tattooing

them at once no no no too much for me

yeah and especi like when you're

watching it you you realize really

quickly like the people that are very

like heavy-handed with their tattooing

versus the people that have a little bit

of a lighter touch yeah and it's always

the heavy-handed people that that are

just like they just can't sit for it I

don't know that's a them problem and

you're like yeah really is it is it

isn't the problem that's too many people

touching you at once yeah I don't care

what what the context is tattooing

massage your own children having four

small children touch you all at

once no too many things happening too

much for me personally same for I

realized that was not but when you like

four guys massaging her at once before

they [ __ ] I was just like that's a lot

of hands yeah and I mean I have all the

detail about who was where but it

doesn't matter everyone's involved it

was just like it was a [ __ ] twister

board yes and so um they all go fall

asleep but then Gus um says he has to go

back to the manor for the daylight hours

since he's a vampire so that he can

sleep um and she wakes later with the

others and and they all agree to go back

to the manor to be near Gus because at

this point everybody is all in like we

all want to be together so on the way

back aan all of a sudden is like

something is wrong something is wrong

something is wrong and he like busts out

with some wings and takes off into the

sky and uh turns out the manor is on

fire and that's why aan felt like

something was wrong um Gus is trapped

under the house because they have like a

basement area for all the vampires with

no no light that would make sense right

so um they all kind of go into rescue

mission mode and like Go in different

directions Tanner holds her back so that

she doesn't go in but um yeah so

they some other random Fire Sprites

showed up that technically had papers

from other houses clearing them but then

they burned the whole [ __ ] place down

so obviously that was a

lie um so so they work for the king of

gamor that is what is assumed and then

confirmed later four out of four [ __ ]

he um but the men are like rescuing the

girls and the other monsters who were in

the house and some don't make it and it

is actually really sad like some of the

girls try to go back for their monsters

and die like trying to get them out um

and um Ezra gets trapped underground

because he knew that Gus was down there

and so he was trying to go get Gus and

there was a cave in and he got

trapped so aan tells all the girls and

their their gentlemen as they're

referred to in the book um to go to his

house he has plenty of space y'all go

get yourselves right like whatever it's

safe there are supplies you go just do

what you need to do yeah yeah so um Doc

aan and Booker leave Esther at aon's

with the other women um so that they can

go back and continue to search the

wreckage and um Esther just focuses on

helping all the other women because

she's like freaking out about Gus and so

um she just can't sit still so she's

just helping everybody cleaning wounds

feeding people making sure everybody's

okay this reminds me of your favorite

book series the wolf Hotel series all

right when Henry got trapped in the in

the mine that wasn't operating but [ __ ]

uh

yeah you hate that book I do I hate that

Series so bad I might still outline it

in the future just to [ __ ] with you you

know I'm okay with that if that is what

you choose to do and I will attempt to

be as open as I can be here is my

promise to you should I ever choose to

outline it in the future unless we get

an an ordinate number of requests to

continue the series should I ever

outline the first one yeah it will be

the only one in the five book series I

appreciate that and if also maybe don't

tell me oh yeah don't tell me it's

coming because I'll just show up like in

full body cringe already like I will

roll up cringing oh because I hated that

book so much she was

so so much of that book made me so

uncomfy with just like I'm a farm girl

who's never done anything and just keeps

getting herself in these cringe

situations of naivity yep that like I

was skimming because her naivity made me

feel so uncomfortable yes it was so much

like baby I need you to focus and like

with with Esther it's different because

she is not naive she knows what's going

on again she knows who she is she know

what she's about she knows she has the

ability to help these other women and

not the men and like she's focused and I

think that's the real difference is

like yeah she's taking High yes she's

taking high

risk well she's taking

risks does Esther consistently engage in

high-risk Behavior yes absolutely for

sure but in a way that it doesn't bother

me or concern me as much as other people

uh participating in high-risk Behavior

activities

correct um because she's going in Eyes

Wide Open fully known what what theore

is she knows what she's

doing all of these well I don't know

what could possibly happen like it's not

like that okay so she's helping take

care of all of the women yeah and the

men can't find anything eventually more

people show up to help like support the

other women so she goes to the house to

help

search and she hears someone calling for

her so she follows the voice Esther you

dumb [ __ ] I've been rooting for you

this whole time and and um I'm going to

call that her Caucasian curiosity yes

yeah I feel like that's like only white

people hear a voice in the woods and

they're like I should follow that see

what happens hello like yeah for sure so

she finds Gus she follows the voice and

she does find Gus and he is staked by

his hands to a tree so it was Gus

calling her yes like to the roots

underground I guess um because they're

still underground and the king of

gomorah is there and he is eating the

heart of another vampire so he's killed

this other vampire and he's like ha Gus

is next and um big villain moment he

basically is like so guess what I am

going to murder you and I'm going to

have a really good time doing it and do

we know why nope nope he saw her in the

theater and saw how she accepted Tanner

the monster and like became obsessed

with her like in that moment because she

like accepted a monster so he's like I

wonder if you would accept if I kill you

like that like we don't really get it

like we really don't okay his I'm not

asking you for these answers so I

apologize like I'm not holding you

personally accountable for these but I'm

just like what huh yeah we really don't

know so

um she he's like yeah and I'm gonna do

all of that in front of Gus and I'm

really gonna have a good time and she's

like the [ __ ] but Ezra is behind her

like touching her neck and puts a knife

in her hand

and together they stab the king of gamor

and the other men all show up so he Ezra

had been following her the whole time

while he was

invisible um but then the king of

gomorah just disappears and somehow he

got away after they stabbed him but then

all the other men show up um they all go

back to Aman's um and he does some kind

of Mojo So that Gus can be in the

Sun and so it's a very emotional moment

for Gus because clearly aan is the most

powerful of them and he has the ability

to do all kinds of things for them and

just has chosen not to to this point and

now he's like no I really do fully

accept all of you no now we're all

Eskimo brothers correct he's like now

that we've all gotten in there

together like I feel so connected with

you that I'm willing to share my Powers

Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah so um it is

actually obviously not a vampire but to

never be able to go in the sunlight and

get that that does actually seem like

you're like oh that would be a very

powerful and emotional thing to

experience so it is it is a really big

deal and Aman's like hey um so we're all

just going to be together yeah and

they're all like yes we've just been

waiting for you essentially to like get

your hat out of your ass so they decide

um to go to Egypt which is out of the

king of gamora's like

territory where have they been London it

England somewhere yeah um and I we kind

of like had filled in that portion

ourselves but I wasn't sure if it

actually

oun no like not where in relation to

London they are but somewhere in England

okay um and so they are close to old

Gamora like the actual ruins of the city

mhm did they bring

salt

no not not that's mentioned because

they're trying to do some research to

figure out like how it like what's what

is he what is he doing what's his

endgame all that

stuff um

so we're at the epilog it's a a year

later they're in Egypt wait what yeah

yeah when when the king of gamor got

away I so the funny thing is as you were

describing before I was like oh we're

we're hitting the finale and then when

you said the king got away I was like oh

we're not at the finale it's a series oh

[ __ ] me in the ass with no lube what I

have not read any of the additional

books

I do all of the books in the series

follow this group no so the next one to

my understanding is about one of the

girls who worked at the

theater that they went to okay I

retracted my previous [ __ ] me in the ass

with no Loop comment then I thought we

were reading three books of Esther just

getting [ __ ] down in a Trilogy with

vague we get a different person getting

[ __ ] down in the next one it's going

to take three books to kill the king of

gamor like that was what I thought when

you were going for oh okay if they all

follow different people I feel better

about that so they're all in Egypt yes

in the epilog they're all in Egypt and

um they found something about the king

but we don't know what so the epilog

really is setting up the next book

because they get a letter from the

theater that they had gone to um asking

for help with the King and they are like

yeah we do need to go back so I'm

assuming they show up in the next book

um but all the men are standing around

her and it's just a very nice moment um

and Gus asks

Ezra um if she would like to have

forever

with them because there's been

discussion about she is Mortal so like

what are we going to do here are all of

them Immortal I guess vampires yeah I

guess so I we don't really know about

Doc and Ezra okay like they're cursed

but we don't know if they are Immortal

okay I'm guessing that aan has the power

to do that or at the very least Gus can

do that which is what he's offering

Esther and um she's like yeah I would

like to do that and that's how the book

ends of yeah of course of course the

book ends with Esther going you mean we

can dick down for eternity yeah I'm into

that that's my only goal in life quite

literally yeah

yeah I kind of love

eser I mean it is kind of refreshing

that it's so sex positive but it is also

like we can be sex positive and also

intentional and not making very

high-risk

decisions my preference would be to live

in the middle of that VIN

diagram but I can respect that that is

not Esther's

Choice yeah I think

like so

unabashedly sex positive in a way that

like obviously I only rather 20 pages

but like she's she's not like getting

shamed for it she's just like no this is

who I am yep you want to ride or not mhm

yep okay so what's our rating skill I

don't know I was just thinking about

that and I really don't know um

werewolves

Werewolves um just random we could just

do monsters we could just do monsters

they can all they all have to be the

same monster hooked

peeny

I don't know that's our reading scale

like I don't know what's what's in this

[ __ ] book next time we may as well

just do dicks with Jacob ladders

piercing as our rating how many how many

rungs on the ladder oh my God I'm so

sorry I clenched again you did I like

sorry I saw your face

Go I mean not like the thought of

receiving it but just the thought of

getting that many piercings in your dick

yeah yeah

uh there has to be a limit the limit

does not

exist okay

um uh what vibrator like old timey

vibrators old timey vibrators that's

what it says in my notes multiple times

I just didn't say that specifically but

like old timey

vibrators circus vibrators circus

vibrator it's timy vibrators actually

what we're going

with it can be regular vibrators if

you're more comfortable I don't think I

think we focused on the wrong part of

that

subject Chelsea they could be modern

vibrators that were Prime to you from

Amazon could it could be a bullet or a

Hitachi like what do you want

[ __ ] me okay

um I legitimately don't have another

rating system for I don't either I'm

over here like what could it be godamn

like um

she marble counters I was like I

literally was like marble counter marble

statues marble statues that's marble

statues final offer that's what we're

doing okay many marble statues there's

five of them so I'm going to five

partners I'm going to go with five we

going to go five

um I'm going to

say I want to do like

2.25 like two was where my heart was but

I also haven't read the book

obviously we're going to go two we're

just going to clean it up and we're

going to call it a two because I don't

feel good enough about it to call it a

2.5 so it's going to be a two two two

marble

statues dick

statues I

mean sure two phallic marble statues

so

what my

husband decided that he should

get a bunch of crystals like he loves

like rocks and crystals he's really into

it and one of the people that he was

getting crystals from had like a very

small onx

dick heck yeah and my husband bought

that and put it on our mantel and it's

very tiny and we have other things on

our mantle and so most people don't ever

know that there is a dick and balls and

onx on our mantle um and there's another

one in Amethyst in another location in

our living room can you send me a photo

of what an amethyst dick looks like yeah

I think it's amethyst it might be quartz

or something but we have that we have

that and um yeah our home is a very

interesting place yeah I remember when

we used to work together and you would

be on links and you were like I have to

choose where I sit in my house very in

because depending on what wall art I

have behind me it might

uh initiate some conversations I'd

rather not have with my co-workers yeah

that's still

true

yeah I so when Matt and I were on

vacation our friend who was supposed to

be watching the cats something happened

to his truck so we were like frantically

finding somebody else to go check on the

cats and our friend Aaron who had never

been over to our house but we see all

the time came over and she was like so I

noticed a lot of Art and I was like yes

you did and she was like fascinating a

lot of Stephen King inspired art y yes

yeah yeah and I was like M she's like

and also a portrait of Gizmo as royalty

I was like correct

yes so if I were to ever walk in your

house and that wasn't what I saw I would

be vastly disappointed because I I have

built out what your house looks like in

my head MH dare I say I have the kitchen

layout down in my head it's been a

couple years yeah but yeah like MH I've

never even been in your house and I feel

like I know what art to expect you do in

your house yeah you do

yeah so two out of five marble dick

statues is my final offer um is your

Christmas gift next year for your house

so oh good to know really round out the

art collection looking forward to it um

don't tell Matt I would never

um look at what Chelsea and Vance got us

baby look what I have here's a marble

dick

statue he'd be like cool he really would

he would [ __ ] mat he's a very

laid-back fellow two out of five let us

know your thoughts this was a lot for us

to experience um but we're glad we could

experience it with you yeah we're glad

to do this together and to share that

experience with you let us know what you

think um let us know your thoughts and

experience of eser um and her men and

the choices made uh like subscribe

follow all the

things you you got it covered I'm just

sitting here yeah yeah see you next time

y'all bye y'all

well that's it for this week's mut [ __ ]

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