Smut Club

well hello All You Beautiful

[Music]

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Chelsey and

[Applause]

[Music]

Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut

club I'm owning my

clap and I'm

Hannah solid initial offering today CH

that's only going to get better

because after the Cliffhanger that was

our last episode we did decide to

complete the duet yep um ever last time

we were recording we were just drinking

tea it was like a very cozy day and I

feel like today we are both like Buckle

in yeah yeah today is not a tea day no

unless it's a hot totty moment it's not

yeah I could do a hot totty later yeah

we may need to do that later M so um I'm

just going to like from the jump so the

second book in the series is called

breaking the rules it's well maybe not

obviously it's also by Lucy score

um and it was a real like abrupt ending

in Cliffhanger from the first book yes

and you're like how how are they going

to land this how are they going to

reconcile this m um because it was like

he left essentially yeah like he

ultimately saved her from her

stalker um and she like had almost died

was like by her side through the

hospital and they like she like gets

home and he's like you're damaged and

you're toxic and I can't be with you y

when really it was like a lot of his

self-hatred that he was projecting

because he felt like he was supposed to

keep her safer than he did right um but

yeah so like it ends with like him

drinking himself to sleep every night

and her telling her dad she wants to go

to college like yeah you're like what

okay and so for for how it ended y'all I

just need you to know

okay

so so the next book breaking the rules

starts five years in the future and I

think it just pissed Hannah off as soon

as it did yeah it did it made me big mad

so there's like so anytime this happens

in a book aside from like one that I can

think of and I can't even remember the

title of it aside from one every single

time this happen happens where it's like

if you would just communicate a little

bit and like work it out it's cool but

when it's past like 6 months of not

speaking to each other over something

that's easily solved I'm like this is

[ __ ]

stupid like right well and I I feel like

there a sweet spot in books right

because you're like okay well maybe like

an hour after that large of a conflict

you aren't going to like reconcile but

also we don't need to wait 10 years

before you happen to cross each other on

a sidewalk right yeah I'm like I'm not

no well but this is also like okay and

we're just going to jump in let's go we

are just five years in the future got it

Waverly is on a helicopter sure if you

were for those who might not have

listened to the first episode just as a

little bit of a reminder um Waverly is a

beautiful

actress uh child star parents are

a-listers neppo baby situation yes um

and so 5 years in the future from where

the last book left us she is on a

helicopter and she is bleeding okay and

had to get stitched up and so we just

know she's in the air she's talking to

Kate who was her assistant in the first

book and is asking um about Dante and

we're like okay Dante like that had been

like her former like co-star like what's

happening and she's like are there any

bodies and you're like what the heck is

happening like is this a bit are we in a

scene is she

from where the last book ended to just

like starting here and you're like 5

years in the future she's bleeding in a

helicopter and you're like okay we're

we're really doing the most um as she's

talking to Kate Kate is like yeah don't

worry they're sending a plastic surgeon

to patch you up so it doesn't look like

you got shot and you're like she got

shot what the [ __ ] is she

doing and this isn't like I tripped and

fell and I have a cut she's an actress

what is

happening they tell her she's going to

have to lay low in

bise um there's worse places to lie low

I suppose yeah and that they're like

they're going to release a cover story

and then all we know is that Kate is

like sorry Waverly you're not going to

like the cover story that they went with

and you're like what does that mean that

she had to go to rehab or something

great guess yes that is exactly what

that means um apparently I was the only

one asking what that

means be so we now immediately cut over

to Xavier

um and he's watching the news and seeing

on the news Waverly got a DUI and she's

in rehab and he's like the Waverly I

knew didn't drink she didn't drink like

ever yeah because her mom struggled with

substance use issues and so he's like

something feels very out of place and

something's definitely up here um we

also are just getting a little bit of

like filling in what the last 5 years

have looked like where

um Invictus security Xavier and his

business partner Micah's security

company um is now wildly successful

they've opened several offices so at

minimum they have like LA and New York

and I think London now um so continuing

to expand um but throughout these last

several years Xavier while never he has

not spoken with Waverly has not reached

out to her he has definitely continued

to like keep tabs on her so we find out

a little bit more of what she's been to

the last five years as well um she

graduated from Stanford in three years

with a double major oh excuse me look at

her go yeah for real yeah I'm like what

was the double major I guess it doesn't

matter I don't know if they mentioned it

if they did I definitely did not take

note I'm not even going to pretend she

said it's not relevant really there were

a couple places as I was going through

my notes that I was like huh huh why did

I feel like that was necessary I do that

all the time detail is absolutely

irrelevant because sometimes when I'm

reading I don't know if it's relevant or

not and so I put it in there and then I

go back later and I'm like that is the

most useless piece of information well

and I know we've talked about this

before but like some books that like you

can tell they're dropping that one like

innocuous plot point or just like random

thing early on and then you're like this

is going to be huge Y at the 81 1% Mark

of this book yes and then other books

you're like oo this is going to be huge

and then you're like and they never

mentioned it never again

never um okay what else is

happening so Waverly had graduated with

her impressive double major in three

years um even while she was in school

she still managed to like release one

movie a year um with her co-star Dante

and she has been all over the news

because she's been partying with this

like Russian ays named

Petra um and the way that Xavier kind of

described her is like from what he has

seen of her in the news she has become

all of the things she despised about

Hollywood growing up in it right and

so I'm like I guess part of me is a

little like what's the threshold because

he's been watching her for years being

like man she's just really becoming

everything she despised but like now she

like has a DUI and he's like that's the

line like she was partying a lot but she

didn't drink like I don't know I was

just well I could see it being like a

DUI is not just dangerous for her it's

dangerous for other people yeah and

maybe so for him it's like the person

that he knows would not risk other

people in that way like maybe that's

part of what it is I don't know I may be

giving him too much credit but I'm like

well cuz it's one thing to like get

Smash Hammer drunk at a club when you

have a driver or at home when you're not

going anywhere it's totally different to

get behind the wheel I think

that is also very valid well and

especially when you're like she clearly

has the monetary resources to have a

driver take her home if she does want to

go that hard yes yes um well all this to

say Xavier feels like something is sus

and uh calls in a favor to get a copy of

the police

report

okay I'm like why is that the first

thing you do I guess cuz he hasn't

talked to her in 5 years I'm like maybe

just call her and check in but if you

haven't talked to her in 5 years that

would be more weird I think it's because

this is how he's been keeping tabs on

her for all of these years it would be

more weird if he just called her hey

girl saw you got that DUI how you

do how have you been the last five years

also the last five years is like one of

my favorite musicals ever really um I

don't know why I know it's not like it's

not a top one for a lot of people

there's something really beautiful about

the storytelling in it to me but every

time I read the last 5 years as I was

writing my notes I was thinking of the

soundtrack a have you ever watched it

uh-uh oh do you know the premise of it

uhuh okay so the premise there's no

actual dialogue everything is through

song and story so like one song ends the

next one starts but it is the r almost

like an opera where it's all

song no the songs have clear endings

okay yeah um you're like this song is

ending and I say that because it'll be

like oh so the premise of The Last 5

Years is you have um dual perspective of

their relationship that has uh started

and now ended Over The Last 5 Years um

the very first song is her perspective

where she's at her house and she's like

my marriage is over then all of her

songs are we go in reverse throughout

their story so like her songs all get

happier to like the start of their

relationship and then his songs all

start really happy at the start of their

relationship and then tell the Journey

of like as like more and more tension

and issues have grown but like halfway

through there's like a cross point right

yeah it's very F really good yeah huh um

so that's what I I'll have to find it

somewhere the um the movie adaptation is

Jeremy Jordan and Anna Kendrick oh okay

yes Anna Kendrick's voice is a little

bit nasy for my liking for choosing her

to be the lead but she's also still a

beautiful singer so I'm not really going

to hold it against her because those

songs are hard as [ __ ] and I'm just

sitting on my couch eating potato

chips like crumbs all down my face you

that was a little flat babe like okay

buddy o who do you think you are right

you're a little

flat like when you watch the Olympics

yes like can't believe you didn't stick

that what an idiot people have been

saying it for years I will Advocate

until my dying day just put a normal

person just throw a me on the I'm happy

to be the reference point it will be a

humbling moment where I'm just like with

a bunch of like inline skaters I'm going

to get to like the what do they call it

where they Sprint down and it's not the

pommel horse but it's the thing that's

like springy where they do flips off of

it oh yes the gymnastics one yeah yeah I

would like do a gentle job down and then

like climb over over aop whip your legs

around just hop off the other side stuck

it with the handr at the end yes nailed

the landing

yeah I'll take my gold now thank

you we

would not thrive in that Ro but I would

I would be happy to offer my services

just is a reference for what what real

people look like while doing this okay

so back into the book anyway um Waverly

she I guess it's her house and B that

she like bought a vacation place and so

she's she's laying low there we also get

a little bit more history um from her

perspective where Over The Last 5 Years

um her mom had gone to rehab went her

parents went to therapy like her parents

are in a far healthier place and still

together compared to where we started

right in the first book

um we also know that Marisol the family

like their the family housekeeper I

guess that she grew up with is coming to

bise to check on her as well um and as

we're like getting some like as she's

kind of processing through and you're

just hearing her inner monologue You're

like okay so we know she's still an

actress but there's something

dangerous that she's doing on the side

right what is this A-list celebrity

doing being shot and lying low in B

right because lying about she's not like

an adrenaline junkie it's not like she's

like skydiving right yes so we do then

have a flashback to five days ago not

not a long flashback I'm I'm glad you

didn't reread this book because I think

you were so annoyed the first time you

read it that it just started 5 years in

the future and that she was shot and

you're like what really you're like this

is where we we chose to go like

well and we talked about this before

especially because it happened on Alias

where like when they had the season of

Alias with like the huge Cliffhanger and

you're like where are they going to land

this like how are we ever going to get

out of here and then they just like

jumped a shark and jumped a few seasons

ahead or a few years ahead into the next

season right and I feel like that's what

happened here and I feel like you were

just so annoyed with how it started that

you were like I

can't suspend belief for anything that

happens in this book well and I think

the two stories if they had been

separate would have hit different for me

potentially but because they like were

trying to make them connected and they

felt so disjointed because I read them

back to back that maybe that was part of

it for

me so

I literally saw it on Goodreads earlier

I've read the

series like three times now I like I

read it once in like 2021 I read it once

in like early 2022 when you and I had

initially talked about outlining it and

then I reread it today or not well not

today but for this before this um in

and every time I've read it it has been

a different experience and like

different things have stood out to me

and like the first time I read it I

really enjoyed it the second time I read

it I was so annoyed with him the whole

time and this time like other like I

don't know it's it's always fascinating

to me like when you re you can reread

the same book like especially a good

Comfort read but like every time you

read it different details will stand out

to you

um I was not as annoyed with him this

time as I was last time but I'm also

wondering if I was so annoyed last time

cuz you and I were texting about it and

you were so pissed I tainted your

experience for your second read maybe

maybe I can own that you know what also

probably tainted my experience of my

second read that you were pregnant yeah

like um rounding out my first trimester

of just like horrific food aversion

oh yeah it was pretty bad wasn't it yeah

like yeah not not the actual morning

sickness or but just like the like what

you could and could not eat girl yeah I

remember yeah like we stopped buying

groceries we're like there's no

point that's true every time I was over

here y'all had like door Dash or Uber

Eats from like Chick-fil-A you didn't

even eat chicken before you vegetarian

but it's all this baby [ __ ]

wants but I the same time I was like you

know if my body is telling me I need

protein this badly I should probably

give it some more protein I'm growing a

human it's fine I can go back to not

eating meat on the on the other end yeah

so all right going back to five days ago

in the book not in my real life Waverly

is um with Dante and she got

recruited when she was in college she or

graduating from college um she was

recruited by Dante to a covert

government op yep sure mhm that only

aist

celebrities um were recruited to because

aist celebrities have access to places

that other people don't I literally am

over here like looking at you Bradley

Cooper

like like that's literally I can't okay

no I'm with it cuz why wouldn't she

be recruited into a yeah she for sure M

so you'll hear them refer to um it as

the studio because it is actually the op

the the government operation that they

work with is tied to a studio production

called Target Productions so they

actually do release movies but they like

kind of use it as a front yes that is

their

front um this is kind of like Alias

though it really is recruited in College

working for a front but technically it's

real like they didn't kill your fiance

but you almost got killed right right

and that feels like enough of a trauma

history it does to qualify

you we allow

it so the uh the studio if you will has

tasked Waverly with befriending Petra

the Russian ays um Waverly doesn't

really know much more more about her op

it's also funny because at Parts they're

like yeah she's just like collecting

Intel cuz that's easier for her to get

than other people right but then there

are Parts where she's like I'm

professionally trained to fight now

you're like this feels diff not just

like Intel Gathering right at least that

was my thought I'm not a spy um so maybe

it's not that Nuance maybe it's

proactive maybe it's a proactive thing

you know right in just in case she gets

caught while Gathering her

Intel fair enough way to give the book

more credit than you did two years ago

I'm really trying you've grown I'm being

intentional we love personal growth

goals right um so while Waverly has been

tasked of like befriending Petra both

her and Dante are like does this like op

feel a little fishy and like something's

not quite right and like this doesn't

feel like it's like

the normal like assignments that we've

we've taken on before and they're having

this conversation as they're driving out

to Petra's dad's like lake house at Lake

Tahoe where they're going to spend the

weekend and like hang out with her

question yeah so are Dante and

Waverly in like a fake relationship

they're spending all this time together

or just Partners like is there any

backstory there so that is a very great

question in the news they are very

tumultuous on again off again um but in

the news like they are together and just

have a very volatile relationship like

one of the things that Xavier points out

later is he's like yeah every time they

break break up he like [ __ ] someone

else like a day later and he's like so

how upset is this man actually about her

so like when you actually look at the

the details of it but I don't know maybe

they're like that's just how AA

celebrities date he's a dog like

okay maybe raise the bar a little bit

like not a lot but you know doesn't have

to be

underground it and yet somehow they're

still tripping on it

underground talent that is Talent so

okay they are at Petra's dad's house um

and after dinner uh Waverly and Petra

are like waverly's like hey let's go

like take a walk on the waterfront

around the lakefront like bring your

security guy with us just like make sure

we're we're good and Dante's like you

know I actually need to call the studio

really fast um I'll come and join y'all

in a little bit so as they are starting

their walk they hear gunfire start up at

the house and W really just goes like

full Spy Girl like full super spy full

Kim Possible Oh love that for her like

it one of the security guys gets shot

she's helping him escape with Petra in a

rowboat on the like not a row booat that

would not be AAL way to

rbo in a boat with an engine sure sure

and then like she runs back up to the

house to find Dante but when she gets up

there like she sees that like Dante is

not there and the office that he had

been planning on breaking into is open

and so then she hears more people like

breaching the house so she takes off out

the back and then calls Kate and is like

I need you to get an extraction um I

think I've been shot and so that's like

the full flashback flashback okay that

we have um do you have any questions

about her covert spy life now that we we

have the full flashback not at present

although every time you say Petra so I

can't remember if I told you this or

not recently when we adopted our new dog

Sophie her name was cleop

Petra

not not Cleopatra because she's a pet

yeah

cleopetra but Matt and I have a niece

named Cleo and so we decided that we

should change her name I briefly

considered calling her

Petra that would have been a dope name

that would have been super super cool

and I'm brand for y'all

yeah I I initially floated the idea of

Helen because Sophie is blind Matt told

me that's real [ __ ] up and said no and

he said he said her name should be

Sophie and so she is sof eyed

Sophie sorry I just such a [ __ ] up

joke but

like also why we're

friends Matt was like babe that is

[ __ ] up I was like but it's

funny if it was a boy you could have

gone Keller I

know you get it but okay I had a cat

growing up named Cleo

Catra oh my God full circle that was we

called her Cleo yeah and I may have told

you this before she was such a fat cat

and would sit by her food bowl and cry

to the point that we were all like oh

she needs to be fed no one's fed her

breakfast that [ __ ] was getting four

breakfast today she' just sit by the

bowl just a little hobbit yes she and

we're like she's crying so much

emphatically clearly she's starving no

she was playing all of us my mom I was

probably in like Middle School um like

my mom made a like little M laminated

magnet for the fridge that said like cat

has been fed morning and cat has been

fed evening and we would flip it so as

soon as you saw that it was flipped

you're like no you need to go back to

being a reasonable size she was running

game yes successfully um this is also

the cat that

when we had posted an ad in the

newspaper back at as you did to uh

rehome a pet and um the first person who

came to look at Cleo yes oh yes I do

remember this part yeah um showed up 20

minutes early and when I opened the door

the first words out of her mouth were

I'm he about your

puss and your mom wasn't home yet no my

yeah my mom was not home I was literally

at home alone I call my mom was like get

the [ __ ] here right now

like yeah like I'm like no I don't care

how much we don't like this cat anymore

or at like the cat had been rehomed with

us like I think we were doing someone

else a favor at one point I don't know

there was a whole thing not necessarily

meant to be a permanent rehoming and

just a big mess yeah cleocatra and

cleopetra yeah more of our overlapping

lives just casual so Waverly

we're post we're back in B and Waverly

is laying um just like by the pool with

her eyes closed recovering from her

gunshot wound and is uh just thinking

back on the last few days and then feels

a shadow over her and when she opens her

eyes is it Xavier what how did you know

and and he's just like nice rehab Angel

and you're like oh [ __ ] he showed up for

the record I haven't read this book in

two

years so I am guessing I really don't

remember I was like I've been right

twice now shut the [ __ ]

up I mean maybe in the recesses I

remember something I mean this very

respectfully and it's nothing about your

abilities as a human I wouldn't say

they've been hard

guesses like I wouldn't say anything

happen has happened thus far that you're

like wow how did I hard

left what a plot

twist that's fair that's very fair yeah

and maybe you'll have some guesses like

that as it go so not [ __ ] on your

guessing I appreciate that I love that

you're like wow giving myself some

credit I haven't read this in two years

and I guessed it was Xavier standing

over

her oh so we find out Xavier has been

hired um by waverly's dad as security

and waverly's like I'm a grown ass woman

I did not hire you get the [ __ ] out of

my house I am not here for this you get

off my property yes um and Xavier's like

listen

I know there's no DUI MH I'm going to

figure out what you've been up to and

I'm not leaving until I figure that out

because clearly something's

up and I care about you so much I will

blackmail you into letting me stay by

threatening to tell new sources that

there wasn't a DUI and putting you on

everyone's

radar which feels healthy yeah you

know that's what you you love in a

relationship I haven't spoken to you in

five years let me declare My Love by

threatening to burn you in a way that

will destroy your

life okay I feel the love I can tell

something's wrong and even though I

haven't talked you in 5 years I am going

to fix it and if you tell me I can't fix

it I'll go to the news and you're

like what yeah we could have taken a

different

approach that is the thing that I think

really annoyed me about him it's just

like I understand he knows he [ __ ] up

we're obviously working on like

reconciliation throughout this book mhm

but I'm also like you're showing up with

a lot of entitlement and privilege with

like how you left this my guyh it's the

entitlement for me like yes you haven't

talked to her in Five Years bro like you

don't like and like and I'm not going to

lie I am good with like a slightly

possessive Alpha

lead uh when they're two possessive like

that isn't fun or cute or like a thing

anymore and I feel like there are yeah

where I'm like bro you haven't been

around in 5 years mhm you do not have

the right to do this and not just you

haven't been around you like ripped her

heart out and stomped on it and all over

her character on your way out the door

like yes well and so like he's telling

her in this conversation like I've never

stopped having feelings for you kind of

deal he manages to like get close enough

and like sit on her like seat with her

and he managed to like kiss her and she

starts to lose herself in the kiss for a

moment and then his hands go like on her

sides and he accidentally like over her

shirt like grazes her like gun her

gunshot wound and so she kind of like

gasps and backs up and it kind of like

it's like

a cold water shocked the

system did we talk about the fact that

my husband has started with the [ __ ]

ice baths every day and I listen why

they're great for inflammation there are

a lot of great reasons that people do

them Hannah earlier this week with the

weather we've been having he sent me a

video where he had to get a hammer from

our garage to break the ice on his ice

bath cuz it was that cold he's said when

are you going to do it with me I'm like

I

don't I don't I don't know if I'm an ice

bath

girly the face you're giving me as you

my whole drive here I was thinking about

how excited I am because I do selfcare

Sunday where I do an Epsom salt bath and

like multiple face masks are involved

and like it's a whole situation I have a

whole routine and my whole drive here I

was

like tomorrow is self-care Sunday and

you know what that means I'm like I got

some pink

Himalayan salt stuff for my Alum was

like that's going to be good [ __ ]

tomorrow like that's awesome and just

the idea of instead of sinking into a

very hot epom salt bath like sinking

into ice intentionally is feeling very

jarring for me when I did my yoga

teacher training literally a decade ago

at this point there was a girl in it

who she was the kindest girl but she was

one of those girls that was like a raw

vegan and like yeah yeah you knew within

three minutes of meeting her she was a

raw vegan at one point one of the dudes

running the teacher training looked at

her and he goes do you live on a commune

and she goes not

yet and I was just sitting there

watching it's so

pure it was incredible but she convinced

and like we were doing a lot of like our

teacher training was Hot Yoga as well

and so she was she convinced all of us

by the end of this training that we

should all be taking cold showers yeah

and she wasn't like there like there are

benefits there are so many benefits but

I'm like when you go from 100 plus

degree room to like to even lukewarm yes

yeah like I'm like I'll I'll get there

but it's going to be a journey like I

cannot do this overnight okay but

anyways back into the book yes back into

the book um he Xavier has his hands on

her sides and she like gas when he like

kind of feels the the wound and he like

gets really gentle he's like oh my gosh

did I hurt you and she's like you'll

never hurt me

again I just wanted to see your face the

dramatic

drama you're doing it on purpose I

really am um yeah so yesterday I was on

a link with a coworker who listens to

the

podcast and I had I said the word woof

about something not work related and she

be she's listening to the podcast and

now she goes what was the what was that

word Chelsea what are we talking about I

was like you

[ __ ]

and then we had a had a great laugh

about it um then Kate and Marisol will

get back to the house so it kind of

ruins the moment anyway but they're also

like the [ __ ] is aier doing here cuz

they just gone into town to get supplies

you

know um Kate is then in waverly's room

with her and is like are you okay like

just checking in and waverly's like you

think I'm okay I got shot Dante is

missing the studio has just told me I

need to stay in B until they tell me

otherwise and Xavier is here would you

be okay I am not having a good time yeah

yeah like 10 out of 10 would not

recommend all of the current things on

my plate Kate then is in the kitchen

with

Xavier and uh we get Xavier's

perspective and he's like okay we made

it through the initial reintroduction

with less Bloodshed than anticipated we

can only go up from here going to really

earn my way back and so then when Kate

comes into the kitchen she's very

defensive of her friend right just like

starts laying into Xavier and he's like

and like do you know how much you

destroyed her like she like didn't get

out of bed and marisel is like like to

the point that Kate is laying in to

Xavier to the point that Marisol goes

hey Kate do you think Waverly would like

being painted is so weak and like yeah

like yeah let's maybe not like I get the

point you're trying to make but let's

not paint Waverly in a poor because

you're trying to make right let not her

into all like all her [ __ ] yeah yeah and

I'm like if if part of that was slightly

hyperbolic to make him feel bad you

know um Xavier then tells Waverly and

not Waverly he tells Marisol and Kate

that he's like listen I am staying I am

going to fight for her I'm not going

anywhere like I understand all of you

have the right to be upset and like

about how everything played out five

years ago he's like but I'll I'll earn

my way back and I know she's in trouble

and like I we need to figure this out

and Marisol like gives them like a a

slight hint You Can Tell She's Like a

fan of Xavier but like she brings up

Dante and it's kind of like yeah like

wonder where Dante is except a little

less obvious yeah wink wink put you're

like you a real one Mario right thanks

girl um Waverly ends up staying in her

room during dinner cuz she's like not

doing this [ __ ] I do not want to have

these conversations we're not going to

have family dinner now that he's just

shown up and decided after 5 years he's

ready to be back in my life now well she

probably wishes she was at the dinner

because Xavier was telling Kate and Mari

that he's going to marry her and then

showed them the ring he bought the day

before he flew to bise yeah like the

confidence dare I say

hubris of of someone big I know I

haven't talk to you in 5 years I'm a buy

a ring I'm like did that jewelry store

also sell audacity the [ __ ] like are you

kidding me

like

what what bold move my guy like what an

opener yeah so I know I haven't spoken

to you in 5 years and on my way out I

told you what a shitty person you are

but now that I've had some some time

five years to think about it you you did

you want to get married I know you're

also probably dating someone else from

the research that I've done but

like you

down what but if you remember I dick you

down better than anyone else ever had

lest you forget lest you forget how good

I dick you down I went ahead and bought

a ring 5 years too

[Laughter]

late Xavier and going into waverly's

room to bring her some dessert and and

he's like he's very is it his dick

sorry not

yet give it some time I was more going

to point out that like he can clearly

tell something is up because he's

looking at her and he's like she's

moving around like she's like he's like

she's frail she's sleeping a lot he's

like for someone who's been at on the

beach and bise for the last 5 days you

would think that she would be feeling

more energized but she looks not doing

too great right now

right the next morning uh he decides

to make her breakfast and just like try

and up the sex appeal so he's like I'm

going to go shirtless with some like

gray sweatpants sort of I'm like you

can't I hope the bacon grease splatters

your man boobs that's what I hope for

you like

cooking shirtless is unwise anyway it's

not

safe I

mean at some level you're probably not

wrong um and not that women can't do all

the same things men can do but I do

think cooking shirtless as a woman it is

it does it is a little different feels

far more

dangerous than being like a buff to

no not the boobies yeah you don't want

to lean over to check the heat on that

pan No you don't sing a nip right don't

turn too fast

[Laughter]

regardless Jesus Christ as they are so

Waverly goes down into the kitchen and

joins him for breakfast and they end up

kind of catching up about the last five

years and she like she asks um because

he had been very publicly dating I think

her name was like kala I don't know c a

l l a

Kala I would guess kala right that was

thought Double L feels like kala that's

what kala

kala kala feels truer I don't know

really just making it all up at this

point right um but she like Waverly ass

she's like well there had been

speculation were y'all ever engaged and

he was like I he's like no we weren't

like it was a serious relationship but

it wasn't you sort of deal um and she

wasn't you though yes but like that's

his energy this whole book and

like that also though is a pet peeve for

me in pet peeve for me in a lot of these

books where it's like so disrespectful

to all other women like yeah I [ __ ]

her a lot but like she wasn't you babe

so I will say kala Kayla whatever will

actually show up later in the book for

like a brief where you're like was this

plot Point even needed kind of energy

yeah

but I like I kind of liked her oh okay

um in the F so yeah I I think like the

way they talk about the relationship was

one where like it was a really solid

relationship and he could just never

fully commit and get there more than it

was like meant to be like the she just

wasn't you but that's how it gets

communicated when he's talking to

Waverly so you're like well this just

all feels a bit dramatic yeah and at

breakfast he like once again is like I

know something's going on with you and

like I'm going to help you and figure it

out before before you can get hurt and

she's like I already got hurt and I'm

stronger now there's a lot of those like

onliners and I do think that when I was

going through the outline a lot of the

plot in this book I'm like I can keep

outlining this but at some point these

conversations just become a bit super

competitive repetitive I said

competitive I meant repetitive I haven't

even really Dr that much been super

repetitive and you know at some level

Hannah they have been competing touche

sure great Insight thank you I'm really

doing well today on multiple

fronts um Xavier is continuing to do

research realizes that Dante has been

missing since the same day waverly's

rehab announcement went out so he's like

the [ __ ] is going on with Dante like he

is like legit missing but as he's doing

um This research Kate comes down and

grabs Waverly and is like hey let's get

you upstairs um how did she say it I I

think I wrote it down said something

like oh let's go upstairs and do your

dress fitting in case we're back for

that Premiere or that event or whatever

and Xavier's automatically like you

don't know when you're going back like

why why don't you know when you're going

back to LA is someone telling you you

can't go back to LA like what's

happening and they just kind of like s

side step it and they're like oh haaha

and just like go up to Waverly we have

we have to go yes and just don't answer

right and then as Xavier is continuing

to sit there and work while they were

doing the dress fitting he's like

hearing them talk but they don't realize

that he can hear them and so Kate's like

next time you get shot can you do it in

a place that's easier to hide and wer

waverly's like yeah I'll do my best huh

ha they have real like don't be

suspicious energy like don't be

suspicious zavier is just like charging

up the stairs at this point he's like

the [ __ ] you got shot like bargees in

demands to see the wound and is like

very emotional but then also I can't

remember if he says it to her or just

under his breath but like says something

like you were supposed to be safer

without me like that is part of why I

like left you is because I like he

didn't feel like had kept her safe mhm

and so that was part of the guilt and

why he left initially right I don't

whatever your face holds doubt we'll ju

we'll just move we'll just move yeah he

Reb bandages her wounds and then I put

she begrudgingly spoons with him okay I

think he just needed the the closeness

the closeness after seeing she was shot

yeah um but then the next day Mari

leaves and they all go out for dinner

DIN and they go to like this restaurant

where he's like where are the menus and

they're like we're in bise it's not that

sort of restaurant we sit down they will

bring us all the plate of food when it

is ready right you will enjoy the food

you get don't you worry right but they

put a water and a beer in front of each

of them and um Waverly automatically

just like slid her beer over in front of

Xavier and he's like I [ __ ] knew

those news stories were fabricated like

she she clearly still does not yes has a

Vindicated yeah

moment they end up going for a walk on

the beach and like they like it's more

of like a okay I'll tell you what's

going on if you tell me so like Waverly

gives him the details without ever

mentioning being a covert I was about to

say assassin she's not killing

people that we know of right that's the

third

book I don't think I won't read it you

will not you I won't read it there are a

couple series that you've hated so much

I'm like I'll read the next one and I'll

just let you know yeah please do but

then there have been a few other series

that I've been like got to let Hannah

learn this lesson for herself and vice

versa yep yep we do that for each other

there are some that like I'm going to

save you this pain in others I'm like

I'm going to cause you well it's like oh

my God this smells so bad sniff it like

sometimes that's the energy when we're

reading these

books you got to try this

you won't believe so they she I guess

essentially if you are leaving out the

covert spy aspect of it m you and your

boyfriend were at your friend's place

and your boyfriend and like you got shot

in a home invasion and your boyfriend is

missing it's kind of like for Z Year's

purposes what the what the story

is but then he's also sitting there and

he's like I still feel like details are

missing mhm um

but is also finding himself in a little

bit of a catch 22 because he's like I

love Waverly I want to win her back

finding Dante will make her happy and

get me points but also finding Dante

means returning her boyfriend to her so

yeah what do I want to do Rock and Hard

Place yeah you find the missing [ __ ]

human for the record right it's if

there's a question of uh not quality of

life but just like Proof of Life yeah

you find the human yes yes mhm MH MH

just

saying duke it out on the back end my

guy but being like you know if I find

him she might go back to him I'mma let

him die it's like also

not that's how we want to start this

relationship with when you're all like

I'mma fix it by letting your lover die

like Okie joke but it does clear the way

right you get it I do Waverly is now

like [ __ ] this [ __ ] I've been sitting in

bise no one's telling me anything the

studio is not communicating with me I

don't care if I piss them off I'm

returning to LA and I'm going to do it

loudly so they know that like I'm doing

what I want right um so Waverly and Kate

and Xavier all land at like the private

airtrip and like there's like

photographers it's like

there are lots of photos taken that are

then also have like Xavier and Waverly

right and they were very photographed

before when he was her body body guard

the first time five years ago because

there had been speculations about a

relationship then and there was also the

footage of him like crying and saying I

love you as he thought she was dying in

his

arms which he then dumped her after but

don't worry he he bought a ring before

he showed up and B so it's all

okay

the look of

frustration on your face yeah when they

land Xavier tells the driver and he's

like uh he's like oh go home and like

however he said it like waverly's like

we're not going to my parents house like

no your house and she's like why do you

know the address to my house like and he

got himself on like the gate access list

so like when they get to the house he's

like or get to the neighborhood and

she's like the [ __ ] is happening you

have not been here five years but and he

keeps being like we're I'm going to get

through going to help you get through

all of this then we're going to [ __ ]

go to

Barbados bro it's been like three days

yeah and we just left bise like I don't

I don't need to then go to Barbados I've

never been to Barbados me either I have

been to bise yeah that's where we went

on our honeymoon I'm not saying Biz and

Barbados are exactly the same I am

saying they are like beach type

destinations like both both tropical

climates yeah yeah yeah yes so maybe

take me somewhere a little different you

know I'm not giving this man an inch no

that's like I love when someone just

annoys you and you're like really I just

went on a beach vacation try harder [ __ ]

Barbados yeah just question that is that

is who I am is that what you're like

with Matt as well or is that just when

you're Rie no it's just books It's Just

Books yeah you're like it's absolutely

Just

Books yeah so Xavier then says something

to the effect of like I don't know just

as I said there are a lot of plot points

that kind of become competitive and

redundant and repetitive and

redundant so yeah it's another like hey

I love you I'm like I know we're like

we're back in La now like I love you I'm

not going anywhere uh this will be

easier for both of us the sooner you

figure out that I'm not going

anywhere what no sir that is not how it

works but apparently it works for her

because like all of this sexual tension

it's like building between them and they

start going at

it um and then he also realizes around

her neck the necklace she was wearing I

honestly don't remember if I mentioned

this in the last review um but he bought

her a good luck charm oh um so some more

context not that it like super matters

but if you remember from the first book

when he'd been watching footage of uh

her being a small child and like getting

trampled by Paparazzi yes and like the

shop owner had rescued her and he' given

her like a coin or something that become

her lucky charm and I can't remember if

she lost it or he just wanted to update

it or something but like he bought her a

replacement or another one when they had

been in Greece I think maybe it wasn't

from Greece it doesn't [ __ ] matter it

does

but she's still wearing it yes uh and he

recognizes it for what it is and he's

like I bought her that and she's still

wearing it five years

later I bought her a ring five years

later too maybe she'll wear that

soon uh she then gets a phone call and

it's from the studio but she's just like

oh it's a wrong number really it's

setting up a clandestine meeting for the

next morning sure sure yes and so she's

like I'm going to go to my bedroom and

cool off now that like this phone call

has kind of interrupted the sexual

tension starting to like go at it sort

of moment that they were having but when

she comes out of her shower he's on her

bed and she's like the [ __ ] and it's

actually like a sweet like he changes

her like w like dressing wounds again

wound dressings dressing wounds wound

dressings wound dressings yes there we

go I knew it was wrong the first time we

found

it with our powers combined we have had

to and I think that's what leaves me

concerned um but also while Waverly was

in the

shower Xavier started like snooping and

going through her closet and notices

like there's no men's clothing like for

being in like a long-term committed

relationship with Dante right there's no

personal effects of Dante anywhere in

her house and so he is uh happy about

that but he also notices he's like this

is an Invictus security system the [ __ ]

he's like I didn't put this in uh and

yeah Waverly like ends up telling him

that Micah installed it and he's like I

can't believe Micah didn't tell me and

at like one point Micah's

like yeah uh you mean this aess

celebrity gave us a second chance after

she could have destroyed us publicly yep

yeah I'm going to give her a security

system and not tell you right she

specifically said don't tell Dante thous

or Xavier or whoever the [ __ ] no I keep

I've almost F him Dante like five times

so I'm glad I'm not the first one to do

it because I've done it in my head

several times well in all of these books

they are named Dante or Xavier or

[ __ ] whatever Black Stone black St

like black stone and black stone these

are the the last name options you can

have them separate you can have them

together take your

pick uhuh uhuh gray I'm reading one with

a gray right now a lot of gray yeah I'm

reading one with a gray right now it's

so hard to keep all of these books

straight well because I'm reading one

right now and one of the guys is Dante

it's a reverse harm so there's Dante

Logan and madic and so I just what book

are you reading uh pretty vengeful Queen

it's the third one the first one I think

is

um pretty dark vows I

think yes okay I haven't read it I need

to add it to my list though or should I

not add it to should I add it to my list

should I not add well I've been planning

on adding it to my list but your face is

saying maybe I shouldn't well so I think

last time we recorded we were talking

about the nickname situation and how

it's like you know the first and you can

tell the energy of the series from like

the the first time nickname is us the

first like cutesy nickname and you were

like yeah but like princess and the one

I'm reading like she's actually a

princess and I was like nope she's

definitely a stripper like so it turns

out by the third one maybe I'm

wrong and I was like huh I see I see I

was like okay that's took a turn was

Tate James involved with that no not in

this one not as far as I'm aware you

know ghost riter I should double check

laws

anyway Waverly gets a phone call yeah uh

from her it hacker person sure sure um

who is Chelsea from the first book who

is zavier Sister yeah he has two sisters

and uh one of his sisters is waverly's

hacker uh but when like Chelsea calls

her to check in she's like so I saw the

photos of you and my brother on the

Airship are you getting back together

like that love this yeah and waverly's

like no he's helping me find Dante like

I'm not I'm not doing this [ __ ] and I

got to say so I think the tension for me

with this one is I do love a good gravel

Trope yeah at some level right um but

this one

like never really felt like graveling I

was going to say he's not graveling he's

just like I'm back babe you ready yes

mhm and like let's just like

ignore all of this other [ __ ] you're

like this

feels not great yeah and we really feels

so too because the next morning um she

leaves Xavier a note that's like gone

out to grab us breakfast when really

she's leaving Before Dawn for her like

clandestine meeting with

Brad the head of uh Target Productions

the CEO of Target Productions the studio

yes and so when she goes to meet with

him like she's trying to get some

information as well so like he's pissies

back from Biz um but like he also

clearly doesn't seem to know where Dante

is is either and she's like what the

where the [ __ ] is Dante at this point

like something has gone seriously wrong

like right because there was no body

yeah there was no body he was missing by

the time I like got to the house like

what is

up um Brad leaves and as he leaves

surprise of all surprises does Xavier

show

up three for three on your guesses oh my

God feel like I should win something on

your a very

difficult higher order

thinking

G I am very good at critical thinking it

said so on my report card once so did it

really I don't remember but it sounded

right when I said it I was going to say

that's a great report card feedback to

get I don't

know it sounded right you know I feel

like I have really great critical

thinking in very specific categories and

then there are other categories that

like like I'm like I don't I don't know

enough about the situation to know how

to think about it critically yeah we're

just flying by the seat of our pants

we're just hoping for the best so

Xavier's like who the [ __ ] were you

meeting with she's like what are you

doing here he's like I put a tracker on

your motorcycle who are you meeting with

she's like you can't just put trackers

on my [ __ ] man he's like can already did

right and he's like you may as well just

tell me cuz I already took his plates

down and I'll run them so just tell me

and like it's like kind of

like like continuing like I feel like

he's just like perpetually kind of

trying to blackmail her and yeah telling

her what he wants to know

and telling him right what he wants yeah

there we I got it I haven't had that

much to drink but I am about to drink a

little bit more so we'll see how this

goes yeah I mean I'm tracking mhm but it

is very much like you are not trying to

make up for anything here you are just

bll in a china shop trying to

like he's like she's in trouble let me

fix it for her pick up where I left off

and

not yeah like with no I think that is

like the biggest frustrating thing is

like with no real regard yeah for her or

what she wants yes and so she does tell

him she's like Brad is the CEO of Target

Productions I was like trying to see if

he knew about Dante's location and

Xavier once again is like I can tell

she's holding back I'm like okay but

knowing she's holding back the way to

get her to tell you what you want to

know is not to threaten to go public

with her Secrets right that's

called

shitty it is and not great in a

long-term sustainable relationship no he

insists on driving her back to her place

and it's like you aren't going back on

your motorcycle whatever and

he like pulls into a parking lot she's

like where are we going he's like I

thought you said you wanted to get

breakfast so they stopped for

breakfast and he's like well my reasons

for coming here or wanting to do

breakfast are are twofold um

one there's a lot of people in this

restaurant who have taken photos of us

that we've now taken photos with fans

like you are very prominent very like MH

difficult to get to is the point he's

trying to make like right she is a big

person the news and just like in society

and like you you can't just like she

can't just disappear or like be shot on

the street like there are consequences

1,00% yeah and then the other reason and

he's like

yeah uh if I were your boyfriend Dante

and I saw photos of my girlfriend being

all like couply and cute with another

guy nothing would get me out of hiding

sooner

okay I'm like this whole like male

competitive yeah I think that I see

where like that got annoying and old and

why that mhm with your frustrations with

where the book started at like the five

years and then what like some of his

behavior choices throughout it yeah I do

understand your frustration Kate ends up

calling Waverly and is like the photos

of y'all out at brunch uh with all of

like your fans they are all over the

news like very prominent photos

definitely got people attention um but

Kate's also like you looked kind of

happy in those photos yeah as an aside

yeah you also looked like genuinely like

you were having a good time yeah like oh

like just want to let you know the

photos did what he wanted them to do and

so you looked you looked pretty content

yeah how you been doing girl um Kate's a

real one yeah she always has been from

letting her sneak out yeah under her

identity

right um

Waverly though is like yeah the agency

is not going to be thrilled with like

those photos and like how prominent I am

making

myself

um Kate asked how the meeting with Brad

went and Waverly says that she has

Chelsea looking into him and looking

into um Petra's dad to trying to be like

okay so like why why did we have this

assignment in place the point and then

Kate's like

you know Xavier is going to be real

unhappy when he finds out that Chelsea's

working with you

right waverly's like yes and yeah like

well what I enjoyed and like this I

can't remember what series it was either

but there was another one where uh it

was a similar situation where the guy

was like I'm leaving you like whatever

and then all of his friends and family

stayed in close contact with her and

just never talked about about it and so

everybody knew how she was and so she

like showed up showed back up for

whatever reason and everybody's like oh

my God I haven't seen you since like two

weeks ago how are you do he's like what

the like that's this energy and I really

like it where it's like yeah everybody

in your life has

been like they get it and you don't yes

they knew what it took you 5 years to

figure out yep so when Micah by the time

they get back to waverly's house not

Micah when Xavier and Waverly get back

to waverly's house Micah is there

because Xavier called him to like get

her motorcycle back to the house um and

so waverly's like let me get some drinks

let's all sit out on the front porch

let's catch up and Micah's like hey

Xavier so glad that you had your

vacation now that you're here I need you

back into the office to work on a few

projects and waverly's like I think

that's such a great idea and you should

definitely go to the office to help with

these projects oh man that sounds really

serious Micah and Xavier was like Micah

didn't you tell me I should take

vacation like I and he's like yeah I

just SP like a long weekend in Aruba

you've been out for like a week it's

time and Xavier sitting there he's like

the [ __ ] is happening and he goes Micah

let me see your phone and M's like can't

man left with in the car so Xavier just

picks up waverly's phone and then

unlocks it and she's like how the [ __ ]

do you have my my phone password

and then sees a text thread between

Waverly and Mah where she's like Mah get

him out of my house I'm not employing

him I'm not paying him he is

squatting in my house come get your

boy oh my God and Micah like a like a

real one shows up and is like okay I'll

help but Xavier then is like okay if

that that's how we're going to play it

Waverly take your shirt off and

waverly's like what and he's like fine

lift your arms I'll take your shirt off

and then he's like hey Micah see that

gunshot wound that she has there was a

home invasion like I'm not just going to

clear out and so then Michel's like well

looks like we're putting some invict

security resources behind this also

sorry about your Lu girl I did what I

could

right yeah he's like I would literally

have to chloroform him at this point his

ass is heavy I I can't right and he's

like I did try and get him out until I

find found out that someone who pays us

for security has been shot again well

the first time she wasab she was stabbed

injured seriously

[Music]

injured after this uh Xavier and Waverly

end up going to dinner at uh her parents

house because they do have a far

healthier relationship now but it's

funny cuz when when uh Sylvia and Robert

open the door and they see Waverly

standing there and with Xavier they go

Oh I thought you'd be bringing

Dante and W's like [ __ ] yeah way to look

out and Xavier's like appreciate y'all

that one stung a little bit but then

when like Robert and Xavier see each

other they have this like big like man

moment yeah man moment like the oneand

clap hug situ and waverly's like the

[ __ ] and Xavier's like oh yeah whenever

I'm in town your dad and I grab a

golf damn it and she's like what the you

you've been playing around of and he's

like I mean he did save your life

like yeah I I like him I like the kid

like am I going to be pissed as your dad

that this man saved your life okay you

didn't last I'll still play around a gol

right um but there was also kind of I

felt like it was a a sweet moment at

least in in my processing of it because

Sylvia her mom uh is really nervous

because of the news about the DUI and

going to rehab and she's like rehab is a

really serious thing like like we want

to support you like as someone who's

gone through it herself and so waverly's

also trying to like not worry her mom um

and she's like no it wasn't like rehab

rehab it was like stress life coaching

sort of re she's like I was on a beach

learning how to meditate I wasn't like

and just trying to like spin it more

that way um which I do appreciate

because like having that be the cover

story when substance abuse is like a

very rampant issue in your

family like you know I was like you know

I hadn't really considered how her mom

would have like process that yes I'm

like that's a big

thing um but like Xavier is just like

yeah we're we're like I'm I'm here I'm

staying we're doing this and waverly's

like we're not together and Xavier's

like grabbing her her hand on the couch

and she's like trying to pull it back

him she like still no yes but he's

declaring his intentions to her and her

parents at this point and it's like no I

plan on marrying her as soon as she

gives me a second

chance the audacity was on sale at that

[ __ ] jewelry store like I

cannot the audacity must have been on

sale that day like for real though

that's my new go-to insult

I can't wait to use it at work I'm so

excited about this well I'm being for

real though because like it's one thing

to be doing that to Waverly it's a

completely different thing to be doing

that to her parents well and but he also

already did that to like her best friend

and like the house manager that like she

grew up with right so like I mean but

Waverly didn't know that right was also

true doing that in front of Waverly with

her parents right yeah he's just out

here telling anyone who will listen

right [ __ ] the last five years I got

this yeah you're like do you bro yeah do

you got this and so when they go back to

waverly's house that night Xavier now

knows her alarm code and has a key and

she's like how are you doing this this

is not cool my guy um boundaries right

but like the conversation kind of

escalates and uh like Xavier's asking

things like do you feel for Dante what

you feel for me and just like as it's

like becoming more and more emotionally

escalated like waverly's like you said I

was too damaged and like it like doesn't

fully like permeate or like yeah he like

doesn't yes he like doesn't fully it

doesn't click initially and then she's

like you said I was too damaged and made

all of my deepest fears about myself

come to life that I was too damaged to

be loved right after I told you what

they were

you use them against me and like he has

that moment where like it finally clicks

like how he's like kind of shown up and

like forc his way in but like being like

Oh like this is where all of this

resistance like why isn't she just like

so happy to see me yes and like it

finally clicking that she's like because

you literally told me no one would love

me because I was too damaged right like

right that is why this this will not

happen um and then you have like a true

apology from him and kind of like be

like I understand now yes um but

then within this

conversation uh they talk about how many

like it comes up like how many partners

like how many people have you slept with

in the last 5 years and he goes I've

only been with two women same as you uh

or like two partners same as you and she

goes the [ __ ] you mean same as

me have youve been keeping tabs on these

people and she's like is that why Trent

like switched School mid

semester and he's like he was still

seeing his girlfriend on the side I had

to protect you she's like I knew he was

still seeing his [ __ ] high school

girlfriend on the side and I handled it

you did not need to threaten this poor

college kid and he's like he's like no I

just like had some people have a

conversation with him it was fine and

she's like oh my God you are unhinged

boundaries he has none boundaries but in

the Name of Love he apparent

like like no that does not change that

this is not great but apparently it does

for her because they end up having a

pretty passionate kiss make out on the

couch um they end up meeting with

gwindel who was the publicist I think

from the first book right and Aisha uh

waverly's

agent and waverly's asking for

assistance with kind of spinning the

whole

DUI rehab situation to something they're

like wait you want us to spend that you

went to rehab for a DUI but you came out

on top in this situ like how are we

right what's what's the end game here

exactly um but part of it with all of

the photos that have been coming up of

Waverly and Xavier they're like okay

we're going to use this angle and see

what what we can make happen so they end

up scheduling her on a late night show

right um like a Conan sort of situation

in my heart it was more Fallon but I can

take Conan

no when I was reading and like going

back through my outline I actually

thought of I was like which late night

person would it be and I was like I am

personally

partial to Seth Meers yes or like does

Fallon still do the like I feel like

there was that era of late night shows

where like yeah all of All Guest

hosts well I was going before all of the

guest hosts back when like the game like

all of the like the

I don't know jeop like not yeah yeah

password Puppy Poker I don't know like

the random like here's this like

singing lipy syncing game right yes yes

yes is that still the era of like I have

no idea I've been I've been a bit

removed for a while but yeah so like I

kind of I kind of pictured it as like

Fallon that they that she went to do the

late night recording but on the drive

there uh avor is like oh yeah I still

remember the outfit you wore the last

time you were on his show um because it

was the dress he asked her not to wear

from the first book when he was like

please for the love of God and me being

able to stay professional this evening

can you put on something less revealing

please don't yeah so apparently she

shortened that and wore it on the

show um and then while she's out and

like doing the interview they end up

like surprising her and calling Xavier

out of the Green Room so he comes on for

more of the interview and then they end

up like showing like a some clips from

the like Abduction kidnapping when ganam

got her like five years ago that's

[ __ ] up yeah that feels very like

toxic Ellen degenerous [ __ ] right there

you know what I'm talking about I do

know what you're

talking but that's what that feels like

like no we're not going to make people

relive their trauma on [ __ ] late

night TV that's messed up dude well and

like it really Maks like what's the

current status of your relationship kind

of yeah energy um but like I'm like man

what an

intimate just like I don't know society

as a whole like that's what we want it's

like salacious content right but like

the intimacy that comes with that that

you're like this is like someone's

actual life that we are talking about

here right like we're watching a girl

very nearly die in a man who cares for

her yes watching his heartbreak and then

we're going to play it for them to watch

together and then ask if they're boning

now like

okay ew yeah

yeah unintentionally a very fascinating

commentary yeah

um what no one else was thinking while

they read this we can do that on a

different podcast right so after the

episode um is recorded waverly's on the

phone with Chelsea who called her with

an update um because we find out that

the time that Waverly got the assignment

to befriend Petra uh aligns with when

Petra's dad was asked to sell some of

his pharmaceutical

licenses um and he refused to sell them

H yeah so like that's that's the detail

that we have there so you're like

there's something there like the

timelines are overlapping but we don't

really know more right but then Kate

texts Waverly that Petra is at a club

yeah she's resurfaced Petra yeah so

Waverly is like buckle up Xavier we're

going clubbing and he's like I won't

leave your side this time and she's like

it's a bit too soon to make that

[Laughter]

joke you know considering the last time

you I got ruied and you beat up a

bartender and then I got stabbed and

almost died IED

yeah rub salt in the wound there but you

know the likelihood of that happening

twice surely not the odds are very low

never zero never zero never zero but

very low yeah

um Xavier is agreeable and is like yeah

let's go to the club uh there is

actually kind of like a sweet set like

moment where Waverly is like hey like

thanks for being like a really good

sport about all of this and like going

on The Late Night show and like going

like all of these things and Xavier's

like it comes with the territory and I

want the territory so like which I'm

like that's a sweet yeah kind of we'll

give him that yeah um but then I was

laughing because Waverly then changes

into all of her club wear that has like

secret places for her guns and her

knives and like all of her weapons

straight up okay I know I've told you

before my senior year of high school I

worked as a personal assistant to the

woman on the home shopping atwork yeah

yeah yeah no idea what that woman is up

to now in her life but for a good while

she had a very successful business

called can can concealment where she

made like women's booer and

lingerie for gun

concealment it's very

Niche but you know when you find the

right market for it yeah you'll be

unstoppable cuz that's why I was making

that face like what kind of club wear

are you wearing that you can conceal a

gun easily like knives I knives I feel

like would be easier if your skirt like

if it's not like tight if it's like it

has some flare to it right I don't know

like a thigh strap sure sure sure is her

dress long enough for I don't know well

it is funny because at one point as they

are walking into the club and like he

has his hands on her waist and he's like

what's under your jacket and she's like

my wallet

[Laughter]

don't worry about it so and as they get

to the club they're they get into the

VIP section and Petra's there and

waverly's like I need to cause a

distraction so I can like get to her so

she's like I know what I'll do she takes

a photo of Xavier and posts it on like a

celeb spotting app and so like within 30

seconds the DJ is like we got a

celebrity in the house and people are

all like ambushing Xavier and she's like

God speed and goes after

Petra um you said you wanted the

territory right this is the territory my

guy Waverly gets to Petra and then Petra

like sees her and it's like oh [ __ ] and

kind of like runs and takes off and

she's like the [ __ ] so she follows her

and they end up in an alley and Petra's

like I'm so like and I'm so sorry but

waer like what are you like what I just

need the detail what happened yeah and

right as she's like Petra's about to

fill her in and she's about to figure

out the details this like car of random

Bros approaches and this like young kid

gets out and he's like hey sorry it's

like it's my first time doing this um

and they're like we're not

prostitutes that poor kid will never

solicit

again well especially he won't solicit

because as this conversation is going

two cars of like goons show up to attack

them so waverly's like Petra get in the

car with them and so she like with the

Bros with the Bros and then she's like

you are not going to have sex with her

you are just driving her home sends her

off one of the cars of goons follows

after her Waverly like calls the drive

her driver like her and uh I think it's

like one of the Invictus security

drivers right what was his name Blake

break break do I have break the driver

it was Burke it was not break the

driver little on the

nose break the driver I'm just going to

I'm still he'll be breaking my

heart he will be wow that is just vodka

the bottom of that now you're getting to

the bottom of God damn my iced

coffee yeah doing great um so Waverly

calls break AKA Burke mhm mhm and it's

like I need you to follow after that car

make sure like she's safe but like make

sure that the car following them uh is

not able to continue he's like I'm on it

hangs up starts driving so then as

Waverly is now standing in this alley

and she's like oh like four guys like

okay can I can I take four on one Xavier

shows up and he's like I'll even the

odds like I got you so he like tries to

stand he's like get behind me and she's

like okay this is cute so they start

fighting and then she clearly can like

hold her own and she like who the [ __ ]

are you like what is happening I thought

I was coming to this alley to save you

and you and I are like f yeah like maybe

she's like am I not your future wife

[ __ ] like maybe these are questions you

should have asked before you bought a

ring just

saying well okay so

then waverly's like I need to find Petra

right that is the only

goal Hannah why did she take off running

Petra was in a vehicle in a there were

three vehicles in like a [ __ ] car

chase call call break the driver yeah

call hey break where are you at right

give me a location at which to run to

but like she's like I need to find her

at all cost and just runs and so

Xavier's like okay I'll run after you

very reminiscent of when she just jumped

off the boat in grease in the first book

I guess we're going for a jog yeah he's

like okay our CL I guess I'll just chase

you and some point I think they even

kind of say like he's like are you into

me chasing you cuz I think he's kind of

like I'm into me it's a little bit of a

primal Kink moment yes I'm into the

chase I don't know if Waverly realized

she's realizes she is a primal Kink or

just Xavier has a little bit of that

within

him I mean my exact notes say Waverly

takes off running to find Petra with a

question mark Xavier follows in a foot

pursuit follows her through parkour

sequence catches up to her pins her

against the wall finds her weapons they

RW dog it in the alley she screams she's

his well orgasming he chants mine mine

mine like a seagull from

finding like as he's running into her

he's

CH mine mine mine

mine

[Laughter]

like if that happens is that not like an

immediate Dismount like Get Away From Me

Mine Mine Mine nope

nope just really punctuating each thrust

you

know like the [ __ ] not the punctuation

not the punctuation um okay they then go

to like a nearby Invictus safe house

where they keep [ __ ] sure and they

have that like I'm going to [ __ ] you

until there's nobody else right until

you there's only me and then like there

like there is no one else like breathy

in his ear sort of like right right we

we get it um Petra is forgotten good

luck babe but then he also they like

[ __ ] until they fall asleep he wakes her

up at like 1:00 a.m. so they can just

like talk about like so you've been a

secret spy like I'm I'm just like I'm

sorry you couldn't let her sleep until

daylight you you woke her up at 1:00

a.m. just like we need to talk well

again that like that's the whole theme

of his character his needs come before

hers and everybody else's like what he

wants yeah because but but when his

needs are presented as all of my needs

are to take care of her and everything I

do is for her then we give a pass to

like the

possessive

Behavior I don't know she tells him

about about her spy life I literally

wrote after all the rigorous love making

he wakes her up so they can talk she but

he does get the details about like what

actually happened with the

shooting um and then when she goes to

bed he like calls Micah to be like okay

now that I have all of the details we

can actually formulate a real plan now

that I like know what we're working with

so I do understand how for him there

probably is some relief that so far he's

been like I just need you to like tell

me yeah right

right of course by the next morning cuz

she did go back to sleep for him to work

through the night yeah he woke her up

she she told him all of the things she

went back to sleep but the next morning

he's like so you know this means we're

back together

right what that was your tcid agreement

when we banged in the alley and I said

mine mine mine like did you misund

understand remember when you said I'm

yours while

orgasming no takebackspace right we're

in it now son yes the next morning um

after that happens Micah and Kate show

up as well so they are not they are now

all on the same page and they are all

plotting and figuring out how they're

moving forward they they realized that

Target Productions while it had

historically started as like a legit

company and organization like government

agency or working with the government

yeah like Contracting with the

government that Target Productions has

started to take more and more like

unsanctioned off the books like not

quite the same legitimacy very much

Alias sd6 yes sd6 core memories being I

can hear the theme song right now

Michael Bon oh oh I could rewatch Never

Been Kissed

soon cuz he's so good at that he's so

cute that's such a pure that's a great

movie Gary Marshall

did he I think he directed it or the I

think he directed it I could be maybe he

just wrote it I don't know Gary Marshall

who's like siblings with Penny Marshall

from Le and

Shirley always been a big Gary Marshall

fan did you know he directed Princess

Diaries I did not know that but it makes

me love princess diaries that much more

there was actually you know back in the

day when you'd have like a DVD and you'd

have like the special features and

things so I think and I could be

misremembering this Whitney hon and

Julie Andrews well obviously Julie

Andrews was involved with Princess I'm

pretty sure Whitney Houston was a

producer oh because there was a clip

where when they were filming uh it was

Gary Marshall's birthday and Whitney

Houston and Julie Andrew sang him happy

birthday together right and you're like

even if it's like there's no heart like

doesn't need to be anything fancy you

had the two of them seeing you happy

birthday absolute Legends done oh yeah

and that's why Cameo exists now now so

we can all live that high on a far lower

experience that so that way we can have

George Santos sing us happy birthday I

have been strongly considering getting

Shaggy to dope of ICP to do happy

birthday for my husband that's coming up

absolutely you should I'm really

thinking I'm going to do it oh he that's

a solid gift he would be really excited

he would be so into that he would he

would never see it coming he wouldn't

and he this episode probably won't air

until after his birthday so it's a

nonissue corre not that he's gonna

listen listen yeah the only reason my

husband listens is to edit is because he

manages our podcast for us bless pistol

thanks fans um okay so they realize that

the target Productions Ops were maybe

not as on the up and up as they thought

they were so Micah and Xavier are like

okay we're going to have Invictus

security uh go through every single op

you did and confirm the legitimacy of it

or not right um and then when waverly's

like yeah I have an IT person and Xavier

is like uh I'd love to talk to them and

just like extend the Invictus security

resources so like feel free to make that

introduction because I'd love to offer

them like our support and waverly's like

thank you so much I don't think I'm

going to take you up on that offer but

thank you so much cuz I can't tell you

it's your sister right but thank you so

much um and then as this is also

happening Brad from Target Productions

calls her and we don't actually hear the

phone call it's like the chapter end

with like her phone ringing and then the

next chapter starts like he wants you to

do what uh he wants her to kidnap

Petra

okay cuz why wouldn't he of course um

and that like that will prove her

loyalty to Target Productions and kind

of that sort of energy yeah um but

waverly's like okay I had a spa day plan

with my mom I can't cancel

so hey Xavier here's all of the personal

notes that I have taken about all of my

Ops I will give you all of my stuff to

work through but I'm going go to the spa

day with my mom see you on the flip side

um also we really love this for Sylvia

waverly's mom she's become a certified

yoga instructor good for her so within

her like Rehabilitation Journey one of

like she teaches like a yoga class at

the spa like once a week or like once a

month or something like that that's so

great yeah I really love the healthy

glow up that waverly's par

had in this book and that like well it

is obviously not the focus they did the

work right they got a Redemption Arc yes

yes and

I I love to see people win even if

they're fictional well and like the work

is alluded to we don't know about it but

it's obvious they did work it wasn't

just like all's forgiven now and like

yeah I just never T touched a drop of

alcohol again and our relationship

magically like fixed itself

yeah not not how they present it and I

do appreciate that as well like they

present it as like we're 5 years down

the road we have been putting the work

in for the Last 5 Years to change our

circumstances

absolutely um they end up having a

really great like Sylvia and Waverly

have a really great heart tohe heart

about Xavier and uh her

mama's Pro Xavier at some like it's like

yeah like I love you and but like not

not upset if he makes you happy right um

but then also this is the part I'm like

why is this plot Point here Kate calls

her or texts her or something and is

like Xavier's ex-girlfriend wants to

meet

you okay so then they meet but the whole

thing is like the ex-girlfriend is just

like he's a really wonderful guy and I

guess she's a she's actually a therapist

she's a family I think she's an lmfd I

think they said family therapist right

so I gave her a

license sure she's a fully

credential she's a master's level

clinician yeah here are the primary

panels um but it's just like a sweet

like kala was like yeah I loved him but

like I wasn't you and she was like says

at one point she's like part of me hates

you that like I wasn't you but part of

me also just like really wants to see

him win and be happy and um he's worth

giving another chance too right so I

guess that was the point of the plot

like the just this little side thing was

just more of like a even his ex thinks

he's great like give him a shot yes but

I'm like we literally don't hear she's

not relevant anywhere else and I was

like okay respectfully why the [ __ ] does

her opinion matter but also it's like

minor Intrigue like oh the ex wants to

meet is this going to be like a thing

but like the ex doesn't show up again

after this this is the the only thing

the ex does she's like the only one I'm

rooting for though call yeah I'm rooting

for the therapist and no one else I'm

rooting for calla and Kate and Chelsea I

guess I am rooting for Chelsea yeah well

and they allude to like her and Micah

maybe no Micah's mared break the driver

not break the driver

Malachi the FBI agent who will show up

oh okay okay who also doesn't really

matter so that's probably all you're

going to hear about Malachi

noted Xavier was able to confirm while

uh does not know waverly's meeting with

his ex-girlfriend that some of the

missions did in indeed get a little sus

with Target Productions like they

started more on the up and up um but

then kind of shifted over time to like

corporate Espionage more type

stuff

um yeah I guess that's what I'm not

really sure what level we're we're

looking at it seems kind of variable

depending on on the person

and yeah I don't know um but what Xavier

does realize is as he's going through

all of the uh stuff that Waverly gave

him he sees her hacker like username

handle and it's brat storm or something

like that but it's like the nickname he

gave Chelsea as a kid and he's like the

[ __ ] um so my notes wait a minute wait a

minute yes so he gets home and is like

trying to like or gets to waverly's

house it's not officially so but it's

trying to get Waverly to like admit

right that he hir she hired his sister

my notes literally say weird angry sex

scene where Xavier gets Waverly to admit

Chelsea is her hacker did he give her a

front wedgie with her

lingerie I feel that I don't need the

answer to that question no I feel like

it was like a yank and like a confess

sort of but it worked for them I don't

know okay it was weird to me

yeah just like camel to's not

sexy camels are like the least sexy

animal and camel toes no how can camels

be the least sexy animal when hump is

such a prominent

word asking the hard-hitting questions

on our podcast nailed it so because Brad

D had tasked uh Waverly with kidnapping

Petra she she's going ahead with this

event as if like as if all is good with

Target production so she accepts the

task they sneak in with like the produce

delivery or something but when Waverly

makes it into Petra's bedroom Xavier is

with her as well at this point um guess

who is in the bedroom with Petra is it

Dante four for four W nailed

it

yes Dante is in the bedroom um and then

Waverly realizes like oh that's why

Petro was nervous at the club was

because she's been

borking right I'm sorry borking I did I

was just going to let it ride you're far

too good to me boning [ __ ] whatever

word

porking w

so she doesn't know their relationship

is fake she's been going on a Magic

Carpet Ride with Dante every night um

and so Waverly realizes that but then

what Xavier realizes is like watching

this play out he's like Waverly is not

that upset about finding her man in bed

with someone else yeah she's not upset

enough yeah cuz like there have been

moments at the book that I just kind of

like skimmed over where uh she's

like he has clearly been figuring out

things and picking up Clues this whole

time but she's been alluding to like no

I still have this relationship with

Dante W Xavier has been like you and I

are together now right and she's kind of

been using that as her like Shield yes a

little bit of a

shield um they managed to like get Petra

out honestly at this point it feels like

it becomes an ensemble like situ because

uh Dante and Petra go with them but then

the bodyguard who got shot at the start

of the book and to I think or something

like he decides to go with them as well

because he's a big fan of Waverly yeah

so they all saved her or she saved his

life right exactly so they all managed

to like sneak out like Waverly speaking

Russian and like talking to the people

and like making everything happen and

Xavier's like you speak [ __ ] Russian

like like yeah Xavier maybe you just

don't know anything about

her I'm just saying there's so much

energy behind that you don't even know

her like I'm like we should really oh my

God okay it's

fine they take everyone back to Invictus

headquarters to like keep planning um

and Xavier has no patience for Dante uh

to the point that like Waverly pulls him

out of the room and was like you need to

get your [ __ ] together like we are

trying to like we're looking for

Solutions not problems right and that is

not what's happening here so like if we

don't have time for this yes 1,000%

because I mean Xavier was kind of like

yeah what have we been up to what you've

been missing well maybe if you if you

like your girlfriend Waverly she got

shot and you didn't show up and you

didn't like you instead you were [ __ ]

Petra while she's been what yeah far

more of that right sort of energy but at

this point Xavier has also like kind of

put together that she has lied Waverly

has lied about her relationship Dynamic

with Dante right it seems like they're

like finally together like Xavier and

Waverly are finally together at this

point

like she finally relented well it's like

he's just said it so much now that it

seems like she's like I just I don't

have the energy to argue with you right

now like we have other [ __ ] to do right

yes exact it's the Sigh it's the Sigh

for me yeah

sure yeah so as we are getting more

detail it seems about like what happened

with like the shootout what happened

with the pharmaceutical company um it is

all tied back to like Petra's dad

refusing to make that deal right um and

Dante had like just made it back up to

the house when they had been in Tahoe um

and was breaking into Petra's dad's

office when he got interrupted by her

like by Petra's security guards um and

then they got interrupted by like people

coming in with

guns um and that once Dante made it out

like with hert guards they've all been

staying under lock and key until they

could like confirm that they were safe

um but Dante has also realized that he's

like I've outlived my usefulness with

Target Productions and I like need to

stay low because right my life might not

might have an end date right at the rate

we're going yeah um they also then like

Loop in Petra's dad to make sure he's

aware since it's his company they bring

in like an FBI contact as I said just

really rounding out yeah the ensembl of

it all um

they all end up in like a safe house

together like all of them there's like

10 [ __ ] people in this summer camp

yes um but Xavier I'd say like Xavier

and W uh Waverly have both their

solidifying [ __ ] and solidifying

conversation where like while there have

been some conversations about let gam

before like actually having

conversations like true heart-to- hearts

about that night and the trauma that

happened and like but like one of the

things that wly said is that Xavier's

like I didn't protect you I didn't keep

you safe and she's like Xavier I was

bleeding out and like my life was fading

like I was like it was you talking to me

telling me to hold on that like kept me

alive so she's like you did not just

save me from gam like you kept me here

at all so when you're sitting here

saying like if it weren't for me that

wouldn't have happened she's like you

saved me more than you realized she

saved me right cuz this guy was coming

after her no matter what yes yeah well

and I think

too that's also part of what irritates

me not just with this book but with some

of the Dynamics and other books as well

where it's like he has made this

completely about him and his own

experience of that and not about her

experience of and she's the one who got

stabbed exactly she's the one who almost

died but he's made it all about himself

yes under the guys that it's protecting

her but it's really not it's just I'm

going to be a martyr because I love you

so much it's like okay buddy like [ __ ]

off dude well and I I think that's my

thing with this book where I'm like if

we could just like roll back that side

of it a little bit yeah I think I would

have been less frustrated because I feel

like if I can remove some of those

aspects I'm like it's a fun like I enjoy

The Ensemble I enjoy the dialogue but

just this like martyr hero who doesn't

actually like think through anyone

else's experience

while playing the Martyr while he does

everything for them yeah gets a little

old well and it's you know like the hard

thing would actually be sticking around

while they're recovering from this

trauma and being there for them and

putting them

first that would be the hard thing but

they make it out like me being away from

you was the hard thing it's like okay

okay like [ __ ] off yeah

like be staying present and doing the

work was the hard thing right um

avoiding the work was the easy way for

for the the woman to be alone and go

through it and for you to show up five

years later with the [ __ ] ring well

hopefully she's processed her trauma by

now so I can swoop back in uhhuh uh-huh

uhhuh no not not a fan of that side of

it so they end up starting to put their

plan into motion to make it seem like

Pedra was officially kidnapped her

bodyguard anelli calls hysterical

deserves an Oscar kind of energy good

for him yes we we're a big fan of this

random Russian bodyguard I'm also

rooting for Ani as you should

yes um pet not Petra Waverly ends up on

the phone with Brad and she's like yeah

like it happened she's like but I want a

cut of the deal that

um and she's like I'll tra I'll give you

Petra if you give me $25

million and he's

like not as much as I wanted to spend

but bet right like ultimately sure

there's some give and you drive a hard

bargain so what as they put the spend in

place all should be well however Brad is

starting to become a little bit like

unhinged and desperate right and um he

has moov money to several offshore bank

accounts um and Waverly is now under

investigation with the FBI for Dante's

disappearance because now they're like

Dante is missing the last person who saw

him was was his lady love yes was

Waverly who's now with somebody else

very publicly yes but you are also

seeing where like Brad is 1,00% planning

on setting up Waverly as the fall person

right for the whole all yes and like oh

[ __ ] you're right this is not great yeah

he's like trying to pin like all of the

off books Ops on her as well yeah

um things keep moving forward plot

points that like don't super matter I

don't know it's now the day of the

exchange like this is like kind of the

big finale right uh Waverly is supposed

to trade Petra for this money this big

exchange is supposed to happen they

clearly have this like huge plan in

place but you're like not sure of all of

the detail the details don't matter if

you want the

details read the book sure I know we do

a lot of like like retelling and make it

so you don't have to but it's going to

get redundant listen here's the thing I

feel like listening to me retell plot

points I feel like the plot points are

redundant to discuss right reading the

book it didn't feel as redundant as

outlining the book that makes sense yeah

yeah yeah well because it's different

when it flows as you're reading instead

of breaking it apart to

discuss it doesn't flow the same I get

it yeah so that's why I'm like ah okay

uh so we're exchanging yeah they don't

really the the details don't really

matter enough I'd say the biggest detail

for me is that like Xavier is like

really nervous about how this day is

going to like play out to the point that

like he's stressing in front of people

and Waverly pulls them into the bathroom

like the half bath just like off the

kitchen in front of all these people and

it's like we need like hey we got this

take a breath take a breath we're good

mhm we we are each others we had our

solidifying [ __ ] we are we are together

right we have got this um she tells him

that she loves him which I think might

be the first time that she told him that

she loved him and then he proposes in

the

bathroom with the ring in his

pocket yeah yeah no that that

happened Waverly uh is now getting ready

for the op yeah and puts on the ankle

tracker anklet that they gave the first

book which for the record at some point

Xavier's going to be like how's that

thing still working I gave it to you

five years ago and she's like I had M

replace the battery last week so now it

works again because I I thought of all

of the

contingencies I'm a super spy now I get

it get it um so Brad is like cool we're

going to meet at Grand Central Market

but then like plans are going to change

from there right um and so there's like

Invictus security people and FBI all

scattered throughout but Brad is like

plans have changed the exchange is no

longer happening there there's like a

Hollywood double-decker tour bus that's

going to pull up out front take your

coms out take like anything he's like I

know I know you did not show up with

nothing right I know you have backup

whatever yes throw throw the mic in the

garbage take out your comms and get on

that bus

um but Micah like not Micah Xavier

didn't know she was wearing the anklet

so she does like the Invictus security

like one long knock two short ones

that's how you know it's an evicted

security person she does that with her

foot and then he's like we can track the

anklet and I'm like why didn't you just

[ __ ] tell him right for the level of

op or Micah knew because he changed

whatever yes I'm

like oh in that moment when she tapped

her foot you're like we should track her

anklet nah [ __ ]

like okay maybe I'm getting a little

over this book at this point I feel it I

feel it you're like none of it

matters so they get on the double-decker

bus it takes them to like a movie studio

set all of the sound

stages and they like go into like a

warehouse and Waverly is like don't you

be like this is a bit melodramatic it's

like a

graveyard she's like I was like is it

the set of like Family Matters I'm like

imagining like a like a family room like

yeah different reasons for being

melodramatic here um Brad is there sure

yeah oh oh oh that's what I forgot to

mention when Brad was like we're like

changing the rule like go to Grand

Central Market then wait forther

instruction mhm he kidnapped syvia oh no

like sends Waverly a photo of her mom

drugged passed out oh [ __ ] yes so uh

Waverly has Petra with her and they are

now

on on set at the graveyard I don't know

sure um and then you get like Brad's

whole like villain monologue and like

she like pulls out some confessions and

things like and she she was like you got

rid of Dante and he's like I did what I

had to do like those sorts of things um

then he's like okay just just give me

the girl well plot twist we're gonna

whip that wig off of Petra it's not

Petra it's an Invictus agent Petra is

safe with

Dante making sweet love probably not at

present and the only reason I know that

is because it was part of the their plan

is that because uh Brad's like yeah I'm

going to pin all this on you and like

Dante's going missing then W Le's like

you might want to open this celeb

spotting app real fast and check that um

where on the app there's like a photo

it's Kate not Waverly but like of Kate

with Petra and Petra's dad there's a

photo of like Xavier and Petra and Dante

and Waverly all together having

breakfast being like these exes have

stayed for like where you're like yeah

clearly Petra and Dante aren't aren't

missing oh everything's fine what are

you pinning on me yes there was there

was no need for for the drama but then

like

as he makes a comment about like yeah

and like you'll never see dantean I

don't know Dante like are you sure about

that and like he has shown up Dante

showed up or Xavier showed up no Dante

that was actually no touche well like

Brad has like more goons that come out

of the wood but the goons are actually

all

like stuntmen that have worked for his

company that have not been the best

stuntmen um and then Dante's there like

waiver like not obviously Waverly

Xavier's there Micah's there the FBI are

there the whole ensom appears you

understand the assignment Brad runs out

of the room Waverly pursues in a foot

chase Xavier more foot chases yes Xavier

has to chase after Waverly obvious

because that's all that man does is run

after her and he's into it he really is

he probably had a semi the whole time I

would imagine it's harder to run with a

semi might have slowed him down a

littleit not as convenient he's like

this is an inopportune time to pop funky

little waddle like a Bowlegged moment

why are you waddling like a penguin he's

like don't worry about it why are you

bowlegged do you have a pillow I can put

over my lap while I run it's

fine just hold my gun in

front are we in a highspeed Chase or you

just happy to see

me oh no yes okay all right so we're

chasing

Brad yeah I don't however it plays out

um Waverly like shines a flashlight in

Brad's face in the dark manages I don't

know if she she shoots him he Brad

shoots his gun it like grazes Xavier's

arm they take Brad down sure the end not

the end oh I was like well okay they

wrap it all up and then so like a couple

weeks in the future as it's being

wrapped

up Xavier is flying back to LA and when

he gets there Waverly has left a note

that's like gone on a vacation see you

soon and he's like the [ __ ] you mean

you'll see me like what and so uh he

uses his excellent detective skills to

figure out where she went he flies and

gets there is it to Barbados five out of

five for [ __ ] off five out of 10 not

five out of 10 five out of five I didn't

mean to go from I would prefer five out

of 10 to be

honest you're like it feels more

authentic to the situ but when he gets

there and gets to the hotel and he's

like where the [ __ ] is we and people

like hi Mr Saint so glad to see you and

he's like what do you mean you're you're

glad to see me and they're like if you

want to go out by the pool and he's like

what are you talking about then he

starts to see more and more people and

then when he's like Waverly I have been

traveling for a week straight trying to

get all this settled I just wanted to

[ __ ] you in our house what and she's

like well how was I going to get you to

barus to surprise you with a wedding ha

and and so yeah they get married in

Barbados and she's wearing the white

dress he bought her in Greece in the

first book and they live happily ever

after

okay okay so what's our raing scale here

ankle monitors because no I've been

thinking this whole time like what could

we use as you're talking I'm like it was

an anklet it was not an ankle

monitor like like she's in drug cour

cute anklet that had a tracker on it I'm

thinking like a diamond like a a heart

pennant and you're like I'm like the

ones you have to like plug into the wall

that you can't take off like the one

that lets you lets people know if you

make it more than 500 yards from your

front door tamperproof

tamper okay anklets no I I really have

been thinking this whole time like okay

brunches I don't know condos in

buies vacation homes in buies is that

what we white white

dresses

uh private

jets

motorcycles good luck charm necklaces

yeah you're right there's not like a

yeah there's not a standout thing let's

just go with B's vacation homes sure I'm

sure hers is very large yeah so there's

probably only

one so it's a

should we do how many bedrooms in your

bise vacation home yeah out of out of 10

bedrooms oh that's a big out of 10 rooms

okay 10 rooms out of 10 rooms not all

bedrooms okay 10 rooms in your B's

vacation home mm how many rooms do you

dedicate this book

to chy okay my answer might be a little

more forgiving than yours but let's see

four bedrooms

I was thinking three I wasn't I wasn't

that much far off three and a half bath

well here's the thing oh baths a half

bath well I'm adding a half bath onto

the third room you know it has an on

Suite three rooms one has an on Suite

final offer

um well and I know I kind of said this

earlier every time I've read this book

it has been a different experience and

while there's a lot that like really

frustrated me about Xavier and kind of

his entitled

Approach at the same

time it's just fun like you know like

I'm like you you're looking for some

action and adventure you're looking for

some like cute Ensemble moments it's

like the cast builds

like okay like yeah a lot of what he did

annoyed me and like so and I think

that's where I'm like yeah four

feels okay yeah well and I think that

again like if these books had been

separate yes it would have felt maybe

different for me because the story of

the second

book is good it's interesting it's fun

same with the first one it's interesting

different to the first one you're like

these feel like it feels forced like

slightly separate ideas that were worked

into one duet right I would okay you

know I'm going to

say four rooms in a hot tub final off

okay yeah I'll give it a little a hot

tub a hot yes a hot

tub with the bubbles on or no obviously

bubbles can you have Z without jets in a

hot tub you cannot yeah if you want J

bubbles are required all right so

Hannah's going three rooms and a half

bath I'm going four rooms and a hot tub

and a hot tub with the Jets on mhm mhm

final offer yes let us know how many uh

hot tubs how many rooms how many

whatever ratings we're choosing our own

adventure with this rating system as we

do every week but this one feels more

than usual um let us know what you think

yeah and honestly if you've made it this

far we're really glad that you made it

through both episodes of the of the duet

yeah thank you for coming on this

journey with us notably I feel like we

had some better jokes in this one than

the first one so if you're here you got

to hear all of those jokes if you ended

with the first one you might have missed

out that might be a bummer for you but

you won't know cuz you won't be hearing

me monologue right now all right on that

case I'm just gonna I'm I'm I'm a quit

now okay

bye have a wonderful day don't forget to

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Thoughts with us yes and we will see you

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