Smut Club

well hello All You Beautiful

[Music]

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Elsey and

[Applause]

Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut

club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this

is the podcast where we occasionally

daydrink and talk about smut I feel like

we used to like Day drink way harder

yeah we also fun fact when we started

recording the show we would record four

episodes in one day yeah we

would and I should really go back and

relisten to into some of those episodes

cuz I can only imagine episode 4 that's

normally you know that was normally when

we got to to Jan Scott yeah it we JS

Scott and the [ __ ] billionaire yep

yeah um yeah we were already like

several glasses of wine in by the time

we're like we may as well do this yeah

basically yeah and then between being

pregnant while recording MH and then

illness and then just like honestly

sometimes the weather just calls for a

cozy cup of tea more than it calls for

alcohol yeah and that's where we are

today we're in cozy cup of tea

territory and we're not sponsored by

Boda box and we I realized Boda box

isn't even here today but it'd be a lot

cooler yeah absolutely yeah um but today

we are actually

reviewing crossing the line by Lucy

score

um which I read a lot of Lucy score

several years ago I feel like what's the

one that went super viral on book talk

and like everyone's obsessed with

there's a loose like I know the cover

it's like blue I feel like there are

daisies there's white font on it I know

what you're talking about I'm going to

look it up you keep talking yes so this

is not that book this is another one by

Lucy score that I I don't feel like got

the same level of attention I do not

hear people talk about this one things

we never got over yes which this has now

become a series right yes so there's

things we never got over things we hide

from the light things we left

behind which one was the first things we

never got over is the first one oh okay

yeah I've never read any of those no um

so it's funny because I feel like I like

read a lot of Lucy score before Lucy

score kind of became the thing oh scroll

down there's wait what's scroll back

up what's the what's the one that at the

bottom there the worst best man very

enjoyable one I've read that one I would

recommend that one I did like the Riley

Thorn

series um you know I started the Riley

Thorn series you did not like it as much

I feel like it was just one of those

Seasons right and like when you like are

reading a book and you're like I've

tried to start this like five times and

I just can't like get into it just

trying to make it happen yeah and I feel

like I've stepped away long enough that

I could probably come back with fresh

eyes and thoroughly enjoy it yeah but I

think it just like one of those where

you get in the headset where like okay

well I tried it before so I I if I'll

try it this time right and really I'm

like it's not the book's fault it was it

was me in that season sure I mean

sometimes it is the book's fault yeah

sometimes not this one I'm not I'm not

going to blame you Lucy for me not

resonating with that series when it came

out okay this series um it's actually a

duet

mhm don't ask me the name of the second

one because I do not have on the tip of

my tongue but the first one is crossing

the line um so we open we meet Waverly

sinner oh it's the Sinners and Saints do

it that's what it was called yeah yeah

yeah CU she's Waverly sinner than the

main guy is whatever his name is Saint

yeah Xavier it is Xavier something okay

but I always feel weird when it starts

with an ex because I'm like is it

Exavier is it just

zavier cuz I automatically say Xavier

but I feel like I've met one or two

people that they're like oh no it's

Xavier yes like you you hear more of the

X on so I'm just going to call him

Xavier and I I'm comfortable with I

apologize if it offends anyone I'm glad

you're comfortable with it and if it

offends you maybe look within yourself

yeah it's not that deep yeah it

shouldn't offend you okay so we open on

Waverly Center she is uh leaving her

house like a bad out of out of hell she

is in full panic because because she

lives in the guest house behind her

parents house and just found her caught

her dad cheating on her mom um which

this is not the first time that this has

happened

but the it is an ongoing issue right so

Waverly runs out of her house in a panic

is on the road Paparazzi start following

her and like getting way too close and

like she's like are they trying to cause

a [ __ ] accident like are they trying

to kill me like and run me off the road

to the point where like going around to

curve they're actually one of the guys

is on a motorcycle and crashes and then

she feels bad because he was like trying

to get photos of her so she pulls over

to help but ends up like taking her

shirt off to stop the bleeding sort of

deal but then everyone gets recordings

of that so like her trying to leave her

house because she caught her dad

cheating on her mom has resulted in her

being recorded in just her bra on a

highway trying to stop the paparazzi

bleeding so she is not having a good

day if that is our threshold for a good

day yeah yeah yeah not not having a good

one um her parents are both aist

celebrities and she is an actress as

well I forget exactly how old she is but

like I want to say like 20 2ish like

right yeah pretty young um and I I did

read this book years ago I remember none

of the details but they may come back to

me as you are talking I mean she's a

nepo baby right yes the ultimate nepo

baby yep gu I could probably think of a

modern day

equivalent but that feels like effort

yeah uh and I don't know if I care that

much yeah also fair right so we are now

going to switch and we meet Xavier Saint

he is former military and owns a

security company with his bestie m

um I think the company was called like

Invictus security or something like that

right um and he gets to work and finds

out that waverly's Mom Sylvia is wanting

to hire them to essentially babysit

Waverly and make sure that she is fine

and staying on the path she should be

right um Xavier is not thrilled about

this assignment they want him to be the

one on it and he's like I don't like

princess sitting it is not my jam not

not thrilled about this at all but as

he's doing some research we learned that

like the cner family has deaf been

negligent when it comes to Waverly and

like her kind of growing up in that

light like he found footage of like

Paparazzi swarming her and her mom when

she was like 5 years old and like her

getting like knocked to the ground and

like just a friendly shopkeeper happened

to like see it and like came out and

like yelled at the pop like the

paparazzi and like protected her but

just he's like oh okay so

like this is the life that she has grown

up in and he is uh creating a lot of um

assumptions in his head my mic is not

wanting to stay up and we're just going

to try our it's just continuing and I'm

just slowly sinking on the couch with it

it's fine um but Xavier has created a

lot of assumptions in his head about

right who she is based on how she is

portrayed in the real world

right um and this book does it's dual

point of view but I feel like it goes

back and forth so much it's doesn't

matter as much yeah that's how I felt at

least like I feel like some books I'm

like oh thank like it feels very

important yes and this one I felt was a

little more fluid at least that was my

personal experience of it but um so this

is now probably the next day I don't

know they don't exactly tell us maybe

they did I don't

remember but Robert CER so waverly's dad

has uh has now been doing his like

apology Gift buying his transgressions

the apology tour so sorry I was banging

somebody in your H in the house in the

house my bad come on yes one of those

um we then have like an ambush

introduction where Waverly is introduced

to her new security and they're like

this is your new security and she's like

the [ __ ] not I don't need the security

no thank you and they're like well we do

still manage your trust do you want that

trust um and is yeah ew yeah even though

it's like for her good and for her

benefit it just feels like shitty and

icky how we're getting there well and I

think like with what Xavier found from

when she was younger it's

feels more like it's all for show yes

more than it is actually about her

benefit I think that is great Insight

thank you

yeah kudos to you thank you um so she

gets pissed when they are like

threatening her trust and so she storms

outside and Xavier follows her and I

know okay we were just talking about

this um on the last episode that we

recorded about how soon nicknames show

up like like how soon the terms of

endearment show up and her code name is

Angel and so he starts calling her angel

as and you're like oh okay I see just

like from the jump yeah we got that code

name

already so her code name is Angel yeah

and he goes over to talk to her she's

like standing like by the side of the

pool and like looking out I don't know

wherever she was looking out in her yard

um and she is like okay like I'll talk

to you we can have this conversation but

like I need you to empty your pockets

like I I don't want to be recorded take

your phone out so he puts his phone out

on the table and as soon as his phone is

out of his pocket she immediately throws

him in the pool and he like [ __ ] off

have a good day she's like great talk

bye yeah and he's like you

know touche I uh at least she she did

protect his phone that was thoughtful

right yeah that's thoughtful it didn't

make him get a new one

um we then meet waverly's assistant Kate

who's like her best friend assistant

sort of person

um and Waverly decides she's like okay

well if I like can't get away from

having security I'm going to go and say

yes to all of the obnoxious events that

I hate just to annoy them like cool if

we're doing this we're doing it let's

let's [ __ ] do it um but also at the

same time Kate goes and and talks to

Xavier and is like hey there have been

several threats made towards

Waverly and some of them have actually

seemed credible um and it's like like

this dude Les ganam for ex for example

who mailed her his mother's wedding

dress that's a bold open and like oh

yeah I sure [ __ ] that's a credible

threat he mailed you his mother's

wedding dress

uncomfy I don't like that yeah to

someone he's never met before and so

because here's the thing even if you're

in a relationship with someone to assume

that they would wear your mother's

wedding dress anyway is a

lot yeah you know like without having

delicate

conversation even if you love them yes

that's like a you might not love the

dress a weird conversation to have

anyway

yeah so for me that's red flags on

multiple levels

personally I would agree with you on

that one yeah when they're like you know

like there's the standard like comments

that you get on social media versus the

ones that you're like oh this like a

credible we need to be concerned about

this sort of threat right um okay so

just like as they're going about their

lives and he's following her as her

detail um he follows her out to dinner

with her

agent and when they go to leave the

restaurant there's a Paparazzi mob out

front and she when they get in the car

he realizes like she's having a legit

panic attack and he's like oh okay so

like maybe she doesn't like eat up all

of the attention and he's like okay so

like there's there's more there than I

had realized right um but when they get

back to to the house waverly's mom is

like out in the

driveway three sheets to the wind just

completely blitzed and like stumbling

all over herself and shatters the glass

at her feet like accidentally drops it

when she trips um and so Waverly like

looks at Xavier and is like I'm going to

go like take care of my mom like please

don't say anything like please keep this

under wraps and it's just trying to like

she's doing cleanup essentially on

multiple fronts exactly um but when she

comes back down from getting her mom

tucked into bed she sees that Xavier had

swept up all of the glass and like made

her a sandwich so she could have a snack

afterwards and just like a thoughtful

yeah you're like

a that's so sweet that is nice is that a

low bar moment or no that no that's a

sweet I think it is sweet because he is

not he's not dating her he's not with

her he's an employee and he chose to be

kind and helpful in a way he didn't need

to be yes cuz technically the job was

done he got her home safe he got her

home and he could have just left and she

could have just managed it right that is

that is a thoughtful thing yes that's

not a low bar moment I like that we have

to check sometimes we're like wait a

minute are we giving the bar so low that

we're impressed by the bare minum are we

giving white men more credit than we

should I like perpetually yes just

generally perpetually it's good that we

check right so all right there's another

event that Waverly is getting ready for

um and when she comes out her dress is

like so seductive and scandalous that

Xavier like actually breaks his

professional like exterior for the for

the first time and he's like I can't

have you [ __ ] leaving the house in

this dress he's like you look too good

in this dress I will be distracted and I

will not be able to keep you safe

because I will be looking at you sounds

like a you problem

bud she

changes it didn't read as like dick

possessive right at least not to

me but I will say you know like do you

ever read a book and you you can read

the same book three times and like one

time you read it and you think like the

behavior is like endearing and the

another time you read it and you're like

this is really questionable yeah then

another time you read it and I don't

know it just hits but like each time you

read it you just have a different

experience of them a little bit yes yeah

so maybe someone else read it as him

being like a possessive dick I read it

as like he's like really trying to do my

job help me help you girl help me help

you more of a like I'm just real into it

in a way I don't need to be right now

and yes please please just make my job

less hard like please less hard

yes you get it that's all he's trying to

do she and and she relents and like it's

so but when they when they get to the

event and he's watching her he like

continues to realiz he's like oh she

doesn't drink she's just drinking club

soda and like he overhears her talking

to someone and saying like she's been

applying to colleges and he's like oh

just

the version of her that he created keeps

getting challenged the more time that he

spends with her um he like sees her with

one of her co-stars and is like getting

a little jealous and is like uh wait a

second who's that fool like I don't like

him being all up next to her um

but gam shows up uhoh the wedding dress

guy the wedding dress guy yeah they

confirm that there's what a nickname

sorry W dress guy that sucks doesn't it

wedding dress guy

the wedding dress killer like right

right is that the moniker you want to be

known by in the

news me no I wouldn't want to be known

that way personally absolutely not I

don't want to be known as the wedding

dress killer something has gone horribly

arai if I am known as the wedding dress

killer in the news right mhm um Xavier

is trying to get a copy of theot foot AG

like all of the security footage and is

talking to the production team to get it

but like Waverly doesn't have a full

understanding of what's going on and

just sees him talking to a random girl

and it's kind of like what like

protecting me yeah I thought like we

were having a moment before so she

doesn't know that Les showed up that the

wedding dress guy showed up I honestly

don't remember but I the the general

energy with her was that like you know

when you're that famous you don't read

the comment section right and so it's

just like yeah people say [ __ ] I don't

know I'm living my life like nothing's

happened yet was kind of more of the

like interpretation I got was that like

yeah people will always come like oh my

gosh I want to marry you right versus

the people that's like you know mailing

you their wedding their mom's wedding

right right so he was just he didn't do

anything he was just there yeah so okay

so far he's just been

present present and they were trying to

get a copy of the footage

um when they leave for the night and and

they get back to the house Xavier is

like I need you to stay in stay in for

the rest of the night and waverly's like

I am a ball of emotion after everything

that just went down on on the red carpet

so she calls Kate over and is like hey

do you want to come over for a quiet

night in with me and so Kate shows up

and they trade clothes I was going to

say they do a switcher they do a

Switcheroo yeah um and you deaf get the

energy this is not the first time they

have done a

Switcheroo and so Waverly gets in Kate's

car and is driving away as Xavier is

pulling onto the property and they look

similar where they've been able to pull

this off before but like she just like

waves and keeps driving and and Xavier

was

like she doesn't have that tattoo on her

wrist that's like

like with such AE detail realizes that

is Waverly who just left the very least

that is not Kate right like goes to her

like pool house sees Kate sitting on the

couch and it's

like so what's happening here cuz this

isn't what's supposed to supposed to be

going on and Kate is like she's on her

way to my house uh which I don't know if

she had told him this yet but she she's

was on her way Waverly was on her way

way to Kate's house where she keeps a

motorcycle stored away oh yes um Xavier

follows her to Kate's house and gets

there before she's been able to like

take off on the motorcycle and it's like

annoyed there's the frustration and the

passion and they he ends up like pushing

her against the wall and there's a very

passionate kiss of course right uh they

come to a truce and an understanding and

he she it's like do you want to go with

me like there's a second bike and so

they ended up having a very enjoyable

scenic motorcycle ride lovely I love a

good scen knife motorcycle ride

sure but also I will say like they are

clearly in California and I don't know

if I would feel the same on like the

highways out there with the the traffic

out there like I love a good scenic

motorcycle ride like where my parents

live which is in the middle of nowhere

with no stoplight right so you feel very

safe there's a certain amount of Freedom

yeah yeah I am like a motorcycle fan but

I'm not a motorcycle fan in a city that

gives me anxiety yeah I yes I can see

that yeah but I'm like give me like Wide

Open Spaces into a motorcycle and that

sounds like a lovely afternoon there are

a lot of motorcycles up by where I live

0% surprised by that yeah not that like

you've counted how many but like no well

I was going to say I was going to say

counted how many stop lights there are

in my town yeah in your town three oh

okay well I was the fun thing is I was

about to ask but then I was like I had a

feeling you're in make Chelsea I live in

a small town but it's not that small so

I like no it actually is I literally was

just like how many stop lights are there

three yeah there are

three are they

like on either end of town then one in

the middle yeah okay it's literally like

one at the start of town and then one on

the like little downtown area and then

one as you're getting towards the

highway yeah did you tell me at one

point that your husband felt like this

was compromising and living in the

city no okay not no he would never ever

live in the city ever for any reason

ever so this is like as big of a town as

Hill yeah he would probably not want to

live in an area that's much more pop not

him going this is the city no no no no I

don't know where I went went wrong no if

it were I don't I don't know how I would

respond to that because I have lived

downtown Atlanta you lived in Atlanta

yeah like in I was like and not like

like when you grew up in the BBS when

when you grew up outside the perimeter

and her saying you grew up in Atlanta

you were actually in Atlanta yeah yeah

yeah like but yeah yeah I was like I

feel like there's a snowball chance in

hell Matt would ever voluntarily move

never ever I was like how much money

would someone have to offer to pay your

husband for him to willingly live in

that populated of an area oh I don't

know but there have been multiple times

when he where he has said like if you

want me to Die Young we'll move to a

city because my blood pressure will be

so [ __ ] high all the time all the

time I will die like okay well we're

never moving to a city got it love you I

love how dramatic Matt is he is he is

actually like there's always flare to it

yeah like it's always and it's always

about things that you don't expect it to

be about most of the time he's very

laidback and then every now and then

he's like if you want me to Die Young

yeah or like what the [ __ ] when you when

he got the waffle maker it didn't work

how he wanted it to I forgot about the

waffle maker so mad about the waffle

maker he was so upset oh my

God which like not minimizing or

invalidating his feelings there at

all this mic does not want to stay up it

doesn't in any way I just keep slouching

further yeah you do so here we are here

we are indeed so they end up going on

this the very fun scenic motorcycle it's

like a very normal night they get Taco

Bell for dinner um while they're sitting

and enjoying their meal with like a

Scenic Overlook he gets a call from his

sister her name is Chelsea she's a

computer expert

of course and she also was in the second

book uh but he like as they're sitting

there he like Waverly is just really

struck by the normaly of his life and

like the normaly of it all and just like

oh he's just like chatting with his

sister we ate Taco but like this is just

a thing that regular people do exactly

that she hasn't had access to yes and I

think like recognizing that

so Xavier feels hella guilty after the

fact for uh making out with a

client and uh does confess to his bestie

Micah also worth noting because this is

just a side detail that I thought was

really funny um Micah had thought it was

so funny when Xavier got thrown in the

pool that he like sent out an office wi

like let everyone in the office know

about it sort of

energy

oh we love a supportive

bestie that is um my husband and his

best friend to a te my my parents for a

while had these like pens for this

business that they were doing and they

had a stylus on the end and they were

great pens and I like we ended up with

like a bag of 50 of them and my

husband's best friend Loved These pens

and was like oh can I get a couple so

I'm like yeah sure so I like set a

couple aside in a bag and Vance goes no

we're not doing that I'm like what do

you mean we're not doing that he goes

I'll give him one pen a time as I see

him until we've hit the quota and I'm

like what a what a weird way to [ __ ]

with each other like what okay they were

like ha yeah this is a funny way I'm

like I don't get

this but I love like this bestie energy

I love that you guys get it yeah like

what a sweet little thing that is

happening for y'all sure fine whatever

Matt does that with his best friend

where like his wife his best friend's

wife will like post things on Facebook

or whatever like very sweet things about

him and Matt will get on there and be

like it's really unfortunate that you've

had to stoop so low but I'm really glad

that you're trying to make the best of

it and just like [ __ ] all over the Sweet

Moments that they try to have I'm like

babe you have to stop but he won't he

won't

ever like or she'll post a picture of

their kids he's like you have no idea

how lucky you are those kids look like

you or maybe you do you have to look at

Wesley every day like what the [ __ ]

babe like okay but yet Wesley's probably

sitting there laughing and and it's like

the funniest [ __ ] yeah and he does it

right back

like okay then I guess does he comment

the same stuff on your post sometimes

yeah yeah you just like it and move on

with your day yeah

yep um okay well Xavier confessed to

Micah that he had you know macked on a

client do the kids still say Ma I don't

know I was just thinking that I haven't

heard ma in Forever they do decide to do

a deep dive into gam though they're like

this is like a a real concern and a real

issue um but like while Xavier's away

from Waverly he's like texting her to

like check on her and he's like send me

your location and but like in like a

very cute flirty like right it's a it's

a sweet moment where you're seeing their

relationship continue to develop build

right so obviously he doesn't feel that

bad about Mac and on a client well I

also don't think Mah cared right like I

think there's a difference if you like

disclose it to your best friend and your

best friend is like what how could you

betray us and ruin our company versus

being like hey man this is the first

time you've ever done this maybe there's

something worth processing and

considering here like more of that like

more supportive than anything yeah like

don't be an idiot but also like do you

want me to like do you want me to be mad

at you over it like like I can I can

work up a good little little angry

yeah like okay I yeah I'm I'm

mad when Xavier next gets to waverly's

house um there are some Paparazzi

outside I just remember their names are

like Arie or Archie or something and

douchebag Joe sure just like oh yeah

douchebag Joe the pops like everybody

knows douchebag Joe that feels like such

an like an LA thing though to for to

have a pop named douchebag Joe and have

everybody just like co-sign that like

quietly cosign yes that's douchebag Joe

oh douchebag Joe I know him as regular

Joe right well so douchebag Joe and Arie

are fighting outside um because Arie has

an envelope that's addressed to

Xavier oh and a because a guy walked up

ganam spoilers spoiler and gave it to

Arie to give to

Xavier um when he opens it and he sees

that there are new pictures of Waverly

that have been taken and he gets like

really anxious and is like oh my God I

need to make sure she's okay and like

ends up like running rushing into the

pool house and like sees that she's just

like sitting there and everything's fine

and like kisses her deeply and

passionately and sure as you do yeah but

then also like Kate walks in and sees

and is like yep so we we we doing this

we pretend we're not doing this like

another supportive bestie moment yes I

mean I feel like if Kate has been

letting waiver Le keep a motorcycle at

her house for a long time that's the

bestie energy you're really looking for

yeah yeah willing to switch places with

you

randomly W within context though right

well I mean yeah like given like knowing

waverly's life right I just had I'm like

if you were just like hey Chelsea no

questions can you switch places with me

you're also significantly taller than

me I think there are other issues with

us switching places aside from just like

the context of Our

Lives the fact that we don't look

alike the fact that I have blonde hair

and you have purple hair yeah and I wear

giant ass glasses yeah we do have we

both have a lot of tattoos we do

yeah we're both therapists and we're

both very pale I was going to say we're

very white yes and we both have green

eyes different shades of green yeah

still green you son of a [ __ ] I think

we can do it I've named enough similar

said never mind context be damned who

needs Conta we got

this um

Xavier decides he's going to stay and

sleep on her couch and like make sure

that she's

safe but the next morning like Waverly

is like I have barely slept I have just

been thinking about the very attractive

man who is sleeping on my couch not the

stalker I'm not thinking about the

stalker no no no well she has the paid

security

team I would also like to be thinking

about the hot shirtless man instead of

the soccer if I have a choice yeah if

the options are there it's a fair point

yes if the options are there but when

Waverly walks out of her room and is in

like her underwear and what she sleeps

in like Xavier is like snarly and

annoyed and is like I have my team like

come like what the [ __ ] are you wearing

put some clothes on and she's just kind

of like well this is

not the energy I thought we were going

to have this morning yeah and is like

frustrated and go and she's like I'm

going to go for a swim and he like Hees

down like apologizes and like makes them

breakfast and is like I I might not have

slept great and I I might have responded

a little more harshly than was necessary

necessary yeah yes um from there though

so we learn a little bit more mess about

waverly's family so because well it's

already a mess apparently dad's cheating

all over the place and Mom's drunk out

of her mind most of the time well and

it's about to get worse oh yikes cuz

we're about to meet the publicist the

family publicist

gwindel um but then in this context we

also find out that Sylvia so waverly's

Mom has historically sold photos of

Waverly to the paparazzi Oh e or to

whoever you sell them to right magazines

or whatever yes but like uh like at one

point like photos had been taken

before Waverly was 18 like when she was

like 17 that like they were able to like

legally get but like we find out yeah

her mom uh Is

Not

Innocent in all that that's really yucky

yes it's not great but the publicist is

also like okay Xavier is clearly like

with you as your security but there's

like also like he's good-looking you're

good-looking you're together can we like

play this up um because you have this

movie premiere coming and we're trying

to like stay relevant with Premiere buzz

but you're also trying to stay safe and

so like can we like play up y'all's

connection to the tabloids and such um

which is not like received super well

yeah I could see that yeah because it's

like they were already on this weird

Shaky Ground of

like yeah maybe we're into each other

like maybe let's explore but also now to

use that tentative Connection in a

different way I could see how especially

Xavier would feel super gross about it

yeah so like Xavier like meets with

gwendelyn and is like let's have a

conversation about what security is

going to look like and like what what we

need that to look like but Waverly also

tells Xavier that like she's like yeah

it's not the first time my mom has like

sold photos of me to the tabloids and um

because we see her mom try and actually

do it again

M yeah not not great at all no that

sucks yeah so the US premiere for the

movie is about to happen and as uh

Waverly is getting ready gam has sent

her a message um like on her socials

saying he'll see her there at the

premiere

Xavier gifts Waverly a cute little

anklet that has a Tracker in it of

course as one does as one does I love

the all right are trackers just way more

prevalent in the real world but like I

feel like in the books we read everybody

has one sometimes multiple yeah and

we're just like oh this is normal right

this is how we all operate well I

mean my dog is

chipped you know I was reading a book

where uh the guy found a Tracker just

implanted behind his

ear like under the skin and I was like

how when and he's like oh it must be

when like the goons knocked me out and

beat me up a couple weeks ago and I'm

like they they performed surgery how did

they get it under your

skin you you didn't know I got more

questions yeah yeah but I guess the chip

my dog has is not a GPS tracker it's you

you scan it to get like the information

my information if she wanders off

somewhere yeah it's not like an air tag

right that you are tracking your dog's

location with right very valid

difference I also think there's a

difference between here's an anklet that

you can wear that is removable right

versus here's something under your skin

yes the implanted

ones uh

you know just call me crazy feels like a

breach of privacy yeah feels like if I

turn on my location so you can see me on

my phone that's one thing I got to stand

by the TV to get Channel

4 got to pick up the

signal yeah that's a different different

energy you

know so at the premiere as they are

going Xavier is like by Waverly side the

entire time and is glued to her um but

then gam is

spotted and then explosions go off sure

yeah but like so like there's

pandemonium everyone is running everyone

is screaming there have been

explosions um and in all of the chaos

gam they like suddenly realized like

he's like 5et away from Waverly like

very very close to them and just waves

at her and then just like disappears

into the chaos hm unsettling very yeah

that's deeply unsettling yeah cuz you're

expecting him to do something right but

you're like well I mean I guess he did

set off explosions right but he didn't

do anything to her yes right and that's

kind of what we're we're waiting for at

this point is for him to make some kind

of move on her 1,000% and So within all

this chaos um they finally get to the

getaway car and then Xavier is like I

need to take you to a place that like no

one will think to look for you and no

one will know you are so he takes her

back to his personal condo sure right um

as one does yeah very professional

yes where they then get in bed and

debrief slightly and then

[Laughter]

[Music]

bone

okay so a lot of adrenaline so I want to

be really clear yeah it was not the bone

part that threw me off it was it was the

debrief in between so they get in bed

and I was waiting for and they bone but

I got they get in bed they debrief they

bone I felt like that was worth noting

when if I'm sorry there were

explosions you tell me they're just

going to start [ __ ] and not talk

about the fact they almost di maybe I

don't

know

maybe they debriefed after they boned

why did that have to be the order I mean

maybe they debriefed and then they got

in bed you know what I'm saying it's the

getting in bed and then debriefing and

then boning I don't know why I don't

know I can't explain it for you if they

got in bed and then boned and then

debriefed we wouldn't even be having

this

conversation honestly you're expecting

me to suspend belief in a way that I am

uncomfortable

with

I'm sorry we reviewed Norris

Kraken we've reviewed the haunted vagina

the things we have suspended belief over

the Scorpions mate oh

my and yet this is where we draw the

line yeah this is where I can't I

can't like well You' think the debrief

preex would really kill the

mood you

know

she falls asleep after she's very tired

down again it really I just keep talking

louder into this mic we're going to work

this out by the time we record the next

episode there's no point it's already

sad There we go my mic is I've never

seen a mic be droopy before but it is

droopy

indeed so the next morning Kate comes

over to Xavier's apartment um and

they're like discussing details further

we learn here's like the more official

debrief no one was like killed or like

seriously injured yeah good they seemed

like the explosions were more to like be

distracting and cause pandemonium than

they were to actually like do

damage okay so we weren't causing harm

we were causing chaos seems to be the

intent of of the bombs at hand okay um

Xavier is then like then tells Kate like

she's going to spend the night as well

and then he ends up sleeping on the

couch so while they had their first [ __ ]

I wouldn't say it was like their

solidifying [ __ ] right um it was more an

adrenaline [ __ ] yeah yeah

mhm which all right this adrenaline [ __ ]

feels a little different but I feel like

there are SE

like the adrenaline [ __ ] in books where

they're like oh I was in a situation

where I was physically harmed right dare

I say almost murdered and then they're

like I wash that away from my body like

like make me forget and you're like yeah

this doesn't this doesn't feel like the

healthiest coping skill in this moment

so as far as adrenaline [ __ ] go could

have been worse sure that's very true

yeah that's our standard for them uh the

next morning they are then debating on

their game plan for like okay what are

we no one knows we're here what are we

going to do um publicity around the

movie is like booming at this point like

as one would expect um and the

international press tour is starting in

like eight days so then she's going to

be very much in the public eye again

very exposed yes

um and they're like all right we need to

go to the invict his office everyone is

there so like we need to get over there

talk to the security team talk to

waverly's family like really figure out

our game plan um but as they are getting

ready to go there's a delivery

downstairs and it's a bouquet of white

roses from

gam um with a note that says like just

wanted to be close to you last night

we'll be together soon a delivery

to Xavier's building yes where no one is

supposed to know that so they're like

what uhoh no one knows she's here how

did these flowers get delivered not good

not good exactly you understand the

problem I do yeah yeah I'm tracking feel

like you know Xavier was Ill prepared

when he was complaining about having to

like babysit a princess for what this

would turn into sure um while they are

at the office and

debating like the the best game plan

moving forward for her safety Waverly is

getting more and more confused not not

confused that's not the right word

that's just me talking too fast she's

getting like more and more frustrated

because everyone is talking about her

and her safety and what they're going to

do without consulting her or asking her

opinion um to the point like she gets

like really frustrated and overwhelmed

and just ends up like excusing herself

right um which Xavier like realizes that

like she's like kind of shutting down

and so goes to follow her and Comforts

her and just makes sure that she's okay

um and then the ultimate plan is that

they're going to like keep her hidden

and Under Wraps until the London

Premiere um and they decide that they're

going to book like a Mediterranean

family yacht vacation before then but

there's a couple days to kill before the

Mediterranean yacht

so so we're just going to spend time on

a yacht where we can't get away from

each other with our dad who is banging

apparently everybody except our mom and

our mom who's perpetually drunk and or

high who likes to sell pictures of us to

the

paparazzi that's the that's the plan

yeah but the stalker can't get to her

there okay I'm like can't we just book

The Crew without them I'm like she has

enough money why do they have to be

there my issue is not with the crew

like my issue is not with the

[Laughter]

yacht please hear me the yacht is not

the problem

here that's the company we keep you

know I love you will get so much more

annoyed with just like a contemporary

romance book than a book that everyone

else is like Morning Glory milking Farm

you're like I understand all of this get

it everyone else is like what the [ __ ]

is happening and this one you're like

come on guys be

realistic well it's because if we're

going to be not realistic from the jump

I get it I'm like oh okay they're

minotaurs and minitar sperm goes into

Viagra for human males okay I can be on

board why wouldn't it right but when

it's supposed to be a

believable okay well we're not even at

the Mediterranean cruise yet well

because there are a couple days that

they have to keep her safe before that

starts so Xavier does the only logical

thing and takes her home to meet his

family yeah

okay

sure what a way to meet a Man's

family like are we even dating at this

point who knows we're [ __ ] though so

I guess I'll go your well I guess you

hate half the books you read now yeah

yeah I

do well and I think that's also

something worth noting is like yes you

read 300 books a year I do that is not

300 winners no no it's not no it's not

no yeah I know who I am I'm comfortable

with it I'm comfortable with being like

yeah at least a of the books I read are

just and a third is probably being

generous now that I say that but you

know at least a third are just I I'd

say it's not often that I read a book

and afterwards I go I'll recommend that

to people who aren't

Hannah like you know what I mean I'm

like oh yeah there are books that I will

recommend to you that I will never

recommend to anyone else anyone else yep

think I I've told this story before I

was at the IE doctor sitting in the

lobby wearing my books are magic t-shirt

and this older one was like oh what have

you been reading

lately and I'm like I froze I was not I

was like I don't I was like which is the

least offensive answer I can give like

literally nothing for you even the non

SMUD

books that I have on my list right now I

likely would not recommend to most

people are they dark are they well I was

actually going to tell you about the

sare oh um one of them is um called um

hell is a World Without You by Jason

Kirk and it is about

um Christian Youth Group culture in the

early as and it follows a queer kid and

his experience and in that

um and that is a very specific read yeah

and um it was recommended to me by a

friend and they are

um he's donating all of the proceeds to

the TR Trevor Project through like

mid-February so even though I I don't

know that I'm mentally or emotionally in

a place to read it right now I went

ahead and bought it just so that like

the proceeds would go there but even

that like that is it is going to be dark

like I'm already aware like it's going

to be dark in a very specific way I

would not recommend that likely to most

people is it they like a true retelling

of their experience or it's fictional

it's fictional okay yeah it's fictional

oh gosh I don't know if it would make it

better or worse yeah but I mean it's

based on like real experiences from from

what I've been told so I'm excited to

read it MH and I likely will recommend

it to certain people yes but the

community at large I don't I don't know

that I

would you know truly I do know yeah

yeah maybe I should start sprinkling

those books in more but then I don't

want to whenever I get the chance to

read one I'm like why would I read this

when I could read smut instead right

yeah yeah even when I do like a a

regular book I'm often like man I'm I'm

50% in and there's no SMUD like even

though I know there's not going to be

and like in my but where's the sex my

brain automatically is like wait a

minute oh

right I it's like

a I feel it in the realest way but it's

like on friends on the ep the one with

all the porn

yes weirdest thing uh the pizza delivery

person dropped off the pizza and didn't

ask if I wanted to take my clothes off

so weird what I'm like that's the

problem when you read too much smut you

will

read an

autobiography yeah and be like but

where's the sex right why isn't anybody

boning Winston Churchill like I don't

get

it I don't know why that's the

historical figure I chose I don't know I

couldn't tell you

Oppenheimer wasn't a group

[ __ ] what listen this is not the movie I

thought I was watching this is not what

I signed up for okay so when Xavier

takes Waverly home um and his dad goes

to like meet them and pick them up bless

it his dad has no idea who she is he's

just like great to meet you glad you're

here glad we glad we can host you and

keep you safe they get to

their house and his mom is there and his

sisters are there and they very much

know who she is and are pissed at him

they're like why didn't you tell us we

would have done and he's like yeah

because Mom you would have tried to

repaint and like buy like new bedding

like don't like you would have tried to

renovate your entire house yeah that's

awesome you would have had way too big

of a reaction so it's fine right yes um

but while they are there I say like

their time at his house is just like

this cute Montage of them getting to

like spend time together and her seeing

like how essenti like real families

interact and kind of things like that

right um but while they are also there

she opens her acceptance letter

to college to

Stanford not

Stamford and I will perpetually have to

check myself on which one is

the uh which one is the Christian School

in

Alabama I believe that's Samford it is

Samford my husband went there oh well he

dropped out after his freshman year to

go be a musician sure and has never

looked back but it yes I'm like my

husband went there I know the difference

but it's like one of those time like one

of those words that every time I go to

like say one of them I just pause and go

is that is that the one I mean right

okay we're good to go it was Stanford

yes so she gets the acceptance letter to

Stanford and she's like really excited

but then like Xavier is sitting there

and processing and he's like if like

this threat is as credible as we like

she can't go to college like she she

can't have this life that she's been

dreaming of for herself but also he like

doesn't want to have to be the one to

tell her that or like break that news or

break her spirit yet because he did also

get some additional news that

gam is a like actual murderer and like

this is like yes like did he kill his

mom for the wedding

dress I think I forget if he killed his

mom for the wedding dress I just

remember there were like two other women

I think one had been like a server at

the diner that he like got fixated on

like one of those situations

gotcha I can't imagine his mom is still

alive I honestly don't remember

did I reread it yes I did did I was I

going for new details for full detail no

I was just trying to confirm that the

details I had were as I remembered them

sure sure less of trying to embrace new

details very

fair now we're on the yacht now we're on

the yacht now we're on the yacht got it

now you can talk [ __ ] about the yacht

all you want we're we finally made it to

the yacht again my issue is not with the

yacht

what is your issue Hannah my issue is I

guess it's partially with the yacht

because we're now

trapped with our mom who's clearly

dysfunctional and our dad who is

probably

worse and we can't get away from them

because we're on a [ __ ]

boat that is problematic and maybe if

you've really been wanting a real family

and you have the opportunity to go take

a vacation

your family knows that there's a threat

and they want to be with you to keep you

safe you would view that as a good thing

yeah I guess you've just already decided

on this book though I

can you've made your mind up there's no

changing it I made my mind up years ago

you did make your mind up years ago it

wasn't your favorite then no but you

know what I will say I can't understand

the

desire for a normal family Dynamic even

though you know it's not going to happen

I can understand continuing to try even

though like you know it's not going to

happen and that I get which that's not

the conversation we have with all of our

clients I know right especially at the

holidays reality does not match no what

we want most of the time yeah when

you're like like oh I have to accept

that the relationship I want with my

family might not be the relationship

that I actually have with my family mhm

mhm huh they may not be capable of

giving that to me that is a harder thing

to accept which I think is kind of

where Waverly is of

like ignoring the fact that her mom is

betraying her trust in major ways and is

clearly oh I would imagine an addict and

unwell and that her dad is narcissistic

and kind of in his own [ __ ] like I can

imagine like obviously very tough but

that's also all she's ever known right

like so the jolting disparity when you

then actually like spend time with a

family who loves each other and is close

and you're like oh I've literally just

never seen this or experienced it right

um but I will say the first night on the

yacht off to a good start initially like

waverly's Dad goes up to Xavier and like

thanks him because he's like realizes

that the threat on his daughter's life

was credible and like it's like he's

like oh you are not a babysitter you

have actually been keeping my daughter

safe like thank you I'm so appreciative

and Xavier sitting there and being like

would you still feel that way if you

knew I was [ __ ] her

awkward but also to your other point

waverly's mom is like already slurring

by the end of the night so

like and like it was a good night with

an asteris right it like comparatively

speaking it was a good night mhm yeah

yeah

yes context matters it does yes the next

morning um as Xavier is working he gets

more info on the two girls that ganam

like was suspected of killing and he's

like oh yeah this is not creating a

better picture of her safety um he gets

to put sunscreen all up

on waverly's back why why your face over

a sunscreen rub down I don't know Hannah

I don't know I don't

known without flinching and I'm like he

rubbed sunscreen on her back and you're

like ew

really

I think what it is is I hate sunscreen

so much I actually really hate it too

like I need it and I wear it pretty much

every day if I'm going to go

outside doesn't matter what time of year

or if I'm in long sleeves sunscreen's

going on because I'm so pale but I hate

it so much I feel like there are at

least enough options that don't SM smell

like they used to that like right

sunscreen isn't as bad as it used to be

that's true but especially being as pale

as we are growing up in

Florida I do understand the uh the

sunscreen drama I don't think it was an

aversion to him putting sunscreen on her

back I think it was an aversion to

sunscreen like I I'm pretty sure that's

that was the moment I had yeah touche

that makes sense given your face was

like what about what what did he do to

piss you off

now the poor guy just trying to make

sure the girl doesn't

burn Waverly is like I want to live my

best life we're on this yacht I don't

know I don't remember how it plays out

she convinces him to jump off the side

of the yacht with her and go for a swim

and sure they are having a enjoyable

time right so now the next day on the

yacht uh gets a little less enjoyable

sure sure um because

unfortunately Sylvia found her husband

with his tongue down the 22-year-old

bartender's throat

sure yeah so not a great start to the

day to like wake up to your mom

screaming oh that's how we woke up

that's how we woke up that's how the day

started no no no no no yes not good not

good is him is him being waverly's dad

mhm like I'm like it is a yacht with

your family for 8 Days man can you not

keep it in your pants for that long

apparently not apparently not which is

go to therapy please good sir yeah you

clearly need

it um Sylvia starts drinking because

that is her like primary coping skill

mhm and then like within the context of

all of this and like Waverly being upset

and processing her family

and just kind of like wanting to get

away from them and it's kind of like man

like I can't wait till like go to

college and like get my fresh start and

then Xavier kind of has to like break

the news that like you're not going to

be able to go to college if this is

where we're at right now because we

can't keep you

safe um and he's like and especially

like it's really hard to have someone

not know where you are when you you have

to be in the same room from 8:00 a.m. to

11:00 a.m. Monday Wednesday Friday for

your right like chemistry class right

like kind of that sort of issue because

you can't like switch up your schedule

yes when you have to be in class exactly

yeah it's like the the logistics of

managing safety on a college campus are

not feasible no um with a stalker of

this

capacity so that afternoon Waverly and

Xavier are just like chilling and he's

they're they're sitting close and he's

putting sunscreen on her back again and

then she catches her mom trying to take

photos of him putting sunscreen on her

back

again yeah so she goes and like takes

her mom's phone and like throws it

overboard and is like good for her what

the [ __ ] um her mom does not take kindly

to that her mom slaps her across the

face oo and is like you ruined

everything sort of like like and like is

it like a an aging Starlet thing where

like her daughter like blaming her

daughter for like sapping her of her

youth or something I think there's some

of that I think it's it's PR I mean it's

your husband [ __ ] anything that moves

and you projecting that onto your your

daughter right yeah right right

definitely kind of kind of in that

territory Xavier is having to like

restrain Sylvia um and trying to

deescalate the situation and Waverly is

just like [ __ ] this I'm out jumps

overboard again and just starts swimming

to land this time I don't know how far

out they

were you saw it you saw it on my face I

saw it on your face I have no idea how

far out they were quite frankly when I

read it I was like I have a couple

questions and sure as always maybe

there's a detail or two I just read too

quickly and missed yeah she swam to

shore okay

Xavier jumps in after her and follows

her to Shore and then catches her when

she's made it to land and is running

down the

beach and then he's mad that she's

jeopardizing her safety when she has a

stalker following her and so then the

only logical response is to [ __ ] her on

the beach sure yeah I'm like even if no

one is really

around are what are you going to do if

it stop shows up when you're inside

her that's the important

question but also sex on the beach is

not sexy too much sand so much sand in

places you don't want it my God it's not

exfoliating so

uncomfortable no I love the look on both

of her eyes has a little bit of personal

trauma it is like no too much sand

cannot do that I think it's a thing like

growing up in Florida everybody like

there's this Roman romanticizing of Sex

on the Beach right oh yeah in so many

ways the number of times we caught

people just boning on the yes and it's

like why but especially especially here

they it's not like they have towels or

blankets or anything to be on they swam

to shore so they're just they're they're

just on the sand sand with no barrier I

don't know how packed that sand is you

know

oh it's so bad I'm sorry I made that

sound but it's so

bad but okay like growing up on the

beach it was super common we're like oh

when we were in college or like in high

school and you're like it's like 10:00

at night and like you all like go and

hang out on the beach at night yeah it

was like so common to find people

[ __ ] yeah like not like every time

but also more than you would think yeah

mhm and they had towels and did not get

in the water first they started dry

that's a good point yeah like not only

did they not have a towel or anything

they they just like they were damp they

were sea water which dries different

you know exactly what I'm talking

about it dries

different it does try different you're

not

wrong it's so gritty

W he at least had the wherewithal to

jump from the boat with his wallet in

his

pocket okay so he was able to get them a

hotel room in town well that's good it

it was good yeah we we love that um

because

Waverly I understand the frustration but

also the

impulse uh control there I'm like we we

really didn't think through what was

going to happen when we got on land did

we nope just

saying so he gets them a hotel room and

then he goes and like buys her uh like

he he goes out to get food but he also

buys her a dress because she has no

clothes because she was in a swimsuit

and it's like a really pretty dress and

it's a very sweet moment

I'd say per I would say the bathtub sex

they have is their solidifying [ __ ] okay

okay that would be like my thought I

could be wrong on that um but it's like

a very long bathtub sex scene that I'm

like but like they're also it's like

they're solidifying [ __ ] without the

conversation it's like the emotional

solidifying right right right yeah

that's what I would claim that one as

where like they're both feeling the

emotional connection but they are not

saying the quiet part out loud yeah I

mean he's still her bodyguard and she

does still have a stalker so he does

need to stay focused on the objective at

hand which is not orgasms right well and

she's still hopefully planning to go

away to college and like all that stuff

yeah

so like life is going to keep happening

is is kind of like I took it as like the

like emotional without but also like the

like well we still have to see how the

world's going to play out because

there's a lot going on right no matter

which way you splice it and so the next

morning they only stay in the hotel for

one night but the next morning they go

back to the ship um and when they board

the ship they find that Sylvia drank so

much she like fell down and passed out

and like vomited and is like passed out

in her own vomit with like a cut on her

head and like it's just like passed out

and night and like no one has like done

anything so she's deeply unwell

obviously yes deeply unwell um and so

Xavier's men come and like get Sylvia

and like put her back in bed and Waverly

starts cleaning up all of the vomit all

of the blood and starts cleaning up the

yacht um and Xavier gets so pissed he

like goes and like confronts her dad and

is like can you not see your family

falling apart around you like stop

trying to [ __ ] your way back into

relevance and like go actually like do

something right and that kind of like

seems to actually resonate with him and

so Robert goes in and like tell like he

cleans up his wife's mess instead of

relying on his daughter to clean up her

mother's

vomit which it's that's the low bar

that's the low bar you and I were both

thinking it that's the low bar no he

cleaned up his wife's vomit after she

drank a lot because he keeps cheating on

her right and after his daughter's

bodyguard came and screamed at him

because he's such a [ __ ] then he was

like maybe maybe I should do

it like

maybe I'm an active participant in my

current

unhappiness just saying MH and the

unhappiness of pretty much everyone

around me that may also be me

like that may also be

me might need to call a spade a spade

here my bad guys whoops my

bad so all of the dad takes ownership

they end up going ahead to London and

Kate meets them there and it's like when

Kate sees Waverly and Xavier she's like

so y'all have been [ __ ] it's kind of

like the energy she's like so there's a

clear sex Vibe Happening Here I can read

the energy I get it yes good for you um

but Kate does tell her that Kate tells

Waverly that Sylvia is going to

rehab and like is actually like it seems

like the positive necessary changes are

actually hopefully coming to fruition

okay

um with the Press junket now starting

for the new premiere

Waverly is a little sick of waiting for

gam and is like also like trying to

provoke him a little bit and is like I

want to be done with this I want to move

on with my life so Waverly decides

without discussing

it with Xavier to turn gum's mom's

wedding dress into a shirt that she then

wears during the Press junk it huh bold

move I mean

reduce reuse recycle

right

like reduce reuse

recycle that's what I was think I was

like I don't know how much of it she

actually

reused I don't know

man first if you're that on H and

obviously she knew what she was doing

right but like can can you

imagine how gam felt oh after Maring his

mom's wedding the rage was out of

control yeah to see it altered right at

all yeah but to be turned into a shirt

to wear at a press conference instead of

the wedding you had likely imagined you

know do you remember the movie 27

Dresses I do yeah um do you remember

what like really pissed Katherine Hegel

off with her sister when her sister was

like

like had like the venue that Catherine

like all of those things but she wore

her mom's like their mom's wedding dress

and changed the silhouette of it yeah

yeah yeah and I remember even watching

that movie and like the gut punch of

like feeling like oh like this the

sentimentality of that dress and like

everything it meant to her and like she

changed the silhouette just into like

another dress right and that was another

wedding dress let alone changing it into

a shirt yeah well or whatever she

changed it not really relevant but it

made me think of it my younger sister um

when she got married she asked my mom

for some of the lace from her wedding

dress yeah and she had them had it

turned into pendants so she had three

small pendants made I love that um and

then one bigger one for my mom so one

for me and each of my sisters and then

yeah so it's like a a pendant with like

flowers inlaid in it um it's really

pretty um but just super thoughtful like

I am not like that like I don't think of

things like that um but it was super

sweet so we all wore them to my sister's

wedding um yeah my mom loved it it was a

surprise for her um but yeah it was

really really pretty I have an uncle

who's thoughtful like that we all did

Thanksgiving probably like I'm talking

like full extended family like who

doesn't always get to do the holidays we

all Thanksgiving together and he had

turned um our grandparents silverware

set that they had into like spoon

necklaces and like made them for like

all of the women in our family and it

was so thoughtful and so sweet but it

was also really funny cuz all of the

other men were sitting around being like

way to make us look bad Bruce right and

I'm

like I mean his name his nickname is

Bruce Eat Your Heart Out Martha Stewart

follow with last

name so like that's just like he's just

kind of on that level at all times and

it's incredible to watch but like one of

those where you're like man my brain

just just like not work in that way to

like automatically think that through

but when you see it you're like this is

so beautiful and thoughtful and

sentimental yes and so sweet yes yeah

which is really the opposite energy for

What from what Waverly was going for

really I don't know why I thought of

such a sweet moment we did we really

turned it into our thoughtful families

right we did it's not that though no it

is not

that um yeah so gam deaf responds to her

baiting on her social medias and is like

did not take kindly to it Xavier is

livid and he's like what the [ __ ] why

would you do this why wouldn't you talk

to me about it and like at this point

the FBI has now taken over her social

media accounts to like oh track and

manage the interactions with gam so like

it's it's not getting better um in his

like the last message after she like

came out in the wedding dress alteration

he was like I'll teach you some respect

sort of like

energy um made a little worse when Arie

the pap

calls and is like oh there's another

package at the center estate and uh when

Xavier opens the package it's evidence

of gum's former kills with a note that

says this is what happens to women who

disrespect their

man

well that's not ideal is it no but I

think her goal was to poke the bear yeah

goal achieved and she did it so

successfully maybe a bit too

successfully in fact yeah yeah we may

have

overshot we we did it with confidence

and uh got higher

Returns the ROI was larger than

anticipated y

y but even throughout that they're

they're still just like going through

their European tour and they're like

she's safe she's overseas like we we

know he's in the in America kind of

energy

okay I don't know essentially like waver

and Xavier are just like [ __ ] their

way through Europe a lot of like there's

worse ways to spend your time you know

there really are yeah like the let's get

the late night pizza and [ __ ] in the

alley and I'm

like a a

cobblestone

alley know is that better or worse than

the beach I feel like it's better I was

going to say better I feel like better I

feel like you aren't going to lay down

that

one but isn't it never mind no I'm

thinking like I wonder if you did lay

down on cobblestones would it be like a

massager and if you did it in summer

it's essentially a warmstone massage

right it's a hot stone massage what more

could you

want maybe not an alley

oh so I said warm I figured it didn't

get great

sunlight a moderately temperatured stone

massage I just remember we were in

Charleston at a family reunion with like

all my cousins and one of them was

literally like So Pregnant like ready to

burst at any moment

pregnant and my aunt was like we can't

drive down the cobblestone streets and

we were like why she cuz Amber's going

to go into

labor because it was

like and I was like I didn't know I

think I was like 13 or 14 I was like oh

my God is that all it

takes I was like does the baby just like

shimmy out like oh my God and you're

like

wait she's only 24 weeks she's supposed

to be 40 as soon as you hit Cobblestone

does the baby just know does it like is

that the sign like oh no all right I

have uh one of the clinicians on my team

at work is expecting her first

grandchild and her daughter is currently

like 34 weeks pregnant and I was like oh

okay like how is your your daughter

doing like especially this far into the

third trimester and she's like she's

still doing uh dressage once a week

isn't that that like fancy horse dancing

yes it is fancy horse dancing I went

down a deep Dr Rabbit Hole um and

watched all of the horse

dancing and here's the thing I'm a firm

believer like if you were doing it

before your pregnancy if like it is not

a new act like and you your doctors

approved it you know how to do it you

feel good like I'm not that person who's

like stop an activity just cuz I think

it's un like but honestly my thing is

the logistics

on a getting on and off a horse at 34

weeks pregnant I'm so stuck on it that's

all I've been able I'm like I'm like I'm

sure she's safe she's clearly been

riding horses for forever if she's doing

dress while

pregnant but I can't imagine getting on

and off a horse at 34 weeks feels

great and her mom was saying like she's

like a shorter like she's like more your

height like she's like 5'3

5'4 so I'm

like so are you using a stool you must

be using a step ladder at that point

yeah yeah cuz aren't Dr horses

taller I have no

idea they certainly

are very coordinated with their Rhythm

they're very fancy they're oh my gosh

they're very fancy I was like this is a

kids movie waiting to happen the horse

who wants to be a professional dress

dancer but it's on like the the kids

like pony ride yes

oh Dream works make it happen Pixar

where you at here's my million dooll

idea set it first all right back into

the book we are now we've made it

through their European [ __ ] sure

like it was a perfectly fine [ __ ] to

read but I wouldn't say that there were

any you know how like sometimes you and

I will read a sex scene and we're like

got to take note of this detail for

later yeah as in the the tentacle

DP that I did make a note of guests yeah

or even like non-paranormal

situations yeah where you're just like

oh [ __ ] got a little weird and we needed

to take note of that right I would just

they were [ __ ] it's just kind of how

I feel with this one I'm like yeah it

was sex yeah and they had

it and enjoyed it did it well but like

not in a way where I'm like oh there's

anything notable yeah just like yeah

they had a [ __ ] fest through Europe as

they're flying back to the States um

they're talking about all of the

logistics and when they land and Waverly

has like a work party that she's

contractually obligated to go to with

the

premiere um which Xavier is like not

happy about at all um and he's like

you're being so selfish you're like

putting people's lives in Jeopardy sort

of energy because she's going to the

party she's contractually obligated to

go to yeah like she's like it's my job

like I I have obligations and he's like

it's your

safety like don't put yourself at

risk um because ganam is still messaging

the FBI on her social media and like

he's clearly still hot and just one of

those where

like like think on a technical level yes

Xavier understood like she's like it's

my it's like a work obligation like I I

have to go but I think he also is like

realizing how much he is in love with

her and cares for her and is like he's

worried yes he's just very worried but

it causes a a really nasty fight right

because if you're going to like come at

someone and say you you're not taking

your safety seriously and you're putting

people at risk and you're being selfish

yeah like yeah someone says you're being

selfish by putting people at risk to go

to this party

right super minimizing yeah it's like

it's not going to be received well even

if you understand the in intent of what

they were trying to say well and if he

would have just said I'm really worried

about you and I'm worried about how I'm

going to keep you safe at this party

that's very different like you know yeah

it's just not very emotionally mature

the way he went about it which I guess

we shouldn't be

surprised why shouldn't we be Sur

surprised well no because it's in most

of these books if you don't have some

level of emotional immaturity you don't

have a book because there's like no plot

not specific to his personality you just

meant like we shouldn't be surprised

because of the books we read yeah no

that wasn't a specific dig on Savor

you're not wrong you know

touche without emotional immaturity do

you even have a

plot often no often not really um so as

they are getting closer and about to

land uh Waverly she gets a text that

comes through on a blocked number that

just says like welcome home I've been

waiting for you but she's like so upset

after this huge fight with Xavier she

didn't tell them that she got this text

she just like kept it to herself and and

moved

on um they like go to the safe house to

get ready they still are not talking to

each other they get to the club where

she has to be they still are not talking

to each other sort of thing and he's

like watching her like a hawk and she's

just drinking her club soda and she

still doesn't drink which if you haven't

connected to the dots yet is yes because

when you have watched your mother drink

that way she is very aware of her

relationship with alcohol right right um

but as he's watching her at the club

he's like noticing she's starting to

look a little tired and he's like hey

like do you want to go she's like like

let's leave in 15 minutes so he goes to

the the bar to get her another club soda

and as he's waiting for the order he

sees the bartender dump something in it

when no one's looking and so Xavier

loses his [ __ ] jumps over the bar and

starts like beating up the

bartender um which in the chaos of all

of this right he maybe didn't realize

that was a distraction CU by the time

like security has now pulled him off the

bartender since he was not in the and no

one was in the right in this situation

like sure the bartender was trying to

drug her not cool at all and you you

still can't you took your eyes off of

you took your eyes off of her and then

decided to beat someone up with your

rage and maybe we didn't handle this as

well as we could have right yeah cuz by

the time he turns around waverly's

gone we never saw that coming I didn't

no this is brand new information oh my

God

um yeah so not good we learn after they

finally realize that

like Xavier isn't going to kill the

bartender and they're just trying to

figure out what happened ganam had like

cornered the bartender in the parking

lot and was like I'm going to like blow

up or I'm going to hurt people if you

don't drug her it doesn't matter you're

bring there was some kind of threat

you're brought into my plot with this

threat right

right yes

um but then when Xavier and at this

point Micah and the rest of the team

have shown up and they're like trying to

figure out where she's at and what's

happening and they like when they go out

in the alley and like see what door he

took her through they like find a shoe

and then Xavier remembers that she has

the tracker anklet so they're like okay

perfect and then they figure out that

he's taking her to her uh star on

Hollywood

yes did you know that you can just buy

one of those

stars that you can just pay like a lot

of money but you can just pay to have a

star I didn't know that but I'm also 0%

surprised I don't recall where I heard

that I don't know it was probably a very

reliable source like Tik

Tok but uh

so so the other people like so when

celebrities get stars are they just

buying them for themselves is their team

getting them for them I don't know there

but there was some whole thing about

like you can you could potentially it's

expensive as [ __ ] but like you could

potentially go buy a star if you wanted

to maybe I will maybe you will maybe

that's what I want to I mean it was like

a million dollar a million what or like

half a million I don't remember this is

a situation we should back check but it

was also like half a million versus a

million at this point for those of us in

our tax bracket does not make a

difference hold on let me Google speak

for yourself Hannah it deaf makes a

difference oh excuse

me no it doesn't it makes zero

difference at all that is not I'm never

going to spend that much money on

something so

asinine so what did you find okay so on

the actual Walk of Fame you can't buy

one okay but there are stars down the

whole thing uhuh and outside of the

actual Walk of Fame you can oh okay well

that makes sense and that's where they

are headed Waverly wakes up in the back

seat of the

car and but anyone can be nominated for

the actual walk so I could nominate you

I appreciate that I would love to be

nominated Waverly wakes up up in the

back of the car we're back to Waverly

sorry

sorry and um gam is this is where we get

that like we get the villain monologue

right so apparently when he just got

close to her on the red carpet he just

needed to get it in close enough

proximity to like get a lock on her

phone um because then he was like yeah

essentially if you're within a 100 mile

radius of of where I am I know where you

are like he he can track that with

however he did it so which is how when

she flew back in he was like able to

know that she had returned to the United

States right and how he was able to send

the

text yes

exactly cuz I I'm also like that's the

first time he's text her from a blocked

number it's all been on socials before

then just that's neither here nor there

apparently that's where I have issues

suspending belief I'm like but how do

how get her phone number sure he had a

tracking device put on her but how do he

get her phone number

right um so he pulls her out on the

Hollywood star at this point he's like

it's it's no longer the like we're going

to be together forever stalking it's

like the I need to teach you a lesson

because you disrespected me and I loved

you sort of stalking right why won you

let me love you yes and like has her on

her star and but like people walking by

seeing him like punch her in the face

and like people are trying to intervene

and then they realize he has a knife

it's now being live streamed on the

internet because there are so many

people watching this happen and not

doing

anything what are they going to do

Hannah I don't know call the cops well

yeah I think they did that I just mean

like like before or after you started

live streaming did when did you call the

cop I'm sorry there's like 15 there's a

ton of people around someone else can

call the cops while they're live

streaming sorry priorities apologies

nobody's going to try to I don't know

throw something at him listen Hannah I

wasn't giving it an exact play byplay of

every detail so I'm sorry I missed that

someone probably called the cops well no

I'm more thinking like that's such a

sad commentary on like actual Society

because people actually do that [ __ ]

where something awful is happening and

everybody's just like let me record this

instead of doing anything about it like

that's more believable than like half

the other

[ __ ] that's a very sad commentary that

that's the that's more believable than

other aspects yeah I heard it when I

said it that is really sad well so

because Micah and Xavier have realized

where she is they it's like one of those

like cake calls like Xavier and he's

like I'm on my way and she like it's

being li like it's just like all of the

anticipation it deaf seemed like M was

still driving as Xavier jumped out of

the car and shot gam three times and

killed

him maybe that is what happened that

just feels

very next level chaotic yeah yeah and

I'm like we're like I know you were

former military and you have a security

company but like he did a barrel roll

out of the car came up on a knee it's

like the energy G

yeah but because ganam had had the knife

to her chest when he like got shot like

the the knife punctured got it and so

she's

cut and um obviously gam is now dead wa

like Xavier comes like has her in his

arms is like seeing her covered in blood

and like he like confesses her love as

she's like passing out and she's like I

knew you'd come like one of those sorts

of sorts of moments right um Xavier is a

mess he feels so guilty understandable

yes um like will not leave her side at

all the entire time that like she is in

the hospital um and is just truly not

okay to the point that like when Waverly

recovers and is like not like not

getting discharged 5 minutes later but

is like getting closer to discharge from

the hospital um he's at the hospital and

they're talking she's like

so you said you loved me like and he's

like well I thought you were unconscious

didn't know you heard that part whoops

yes um and like he's clearly just still

not he's like manage he's trying to man

man Ag and like loves her but is also

like feels very guilty over how all of

this played out um so by the time she

gets home and is like okay like I'm home

it's behind us he's like I'm out I can't

do this I'm I'm calling our relationship

and she's like the [ __ ] you mean and he

decides to be a super douche and is like

you're damaged and you'll damage

me huh which I'm like what

okay which again like say what you mean

buddy yes cuz that's clearly not what he

means no and so she tells them to get

out and leave the key and like that's

like their last interaction yeah so like

she spends the day crying in bed I will

say there's a very lovely

like full circle moment where her dad

comes to get her and is like let's get

you out of your room and they roast hot

dogs over the fire like they did when

she was younger

uh and just like have a really good

heart tohe heart and like I think she

like tells him she wants to go to

college and is like able to finally have

that conversation with her dad right um

but he tells her that he went to see

Xavier and and her dad's like he looks

worse than you and you almost died

like like and that Xavier is just like

can't even stay sober is just like so

but what was the purpose behind dad's

visit like I think it was I think just

being a caring dad oh that's it was a

nice full circle like yeah yeah like we

like her dad showed up and was like

owning his [ __ ] and taking

accountability and showed up to care for

his daughter when she needed it right

which is sweet

after everything else that he's done in

this book that was not as sweet right

um but they have this lovely heart tohe

heart and then Waverly goes to meet with

Micah from the like bestie um and tells

him that she wants to keep Invicta

Security on payroll because she is going

to college but she doesn't want Xavier

to know or be a part of it and she

doesn't want him to be AED informed

which Micah's also kind of like well

this is a huge relief considering how

badly you could sue us after

how well our last security

situation which we recognize there were

extenuating circumstances right right

right um but yeah when she was like I

don't want zavier to be informed and

Micah is like well if he can like sober

up enough to get it together I'm like

shipping him to New York to open a new

branch office and he won't even be here

so it'll kind of it'll be a non-issue um

but then what Micah also says is he's

like if you haven't maybe watch the clip

of like right after gam went down when

he thought you were dying in his arms

like maybe watch that and get a little

context right little perspective yeah

like when when he thought you were dying

and you were in his arms um and that's

where the book ends Hannah it ends with

a their story isn't over

yet um but yeah that's the very abrupt

ending to crossing the line that is

really abrupt right like I read this and

I remember being like that's the end but

I don't remember it being that

jarring yeah yeah it's like I think in

my mind it ended like with her starting

school or something more that's like no

she's now starting her next step or

whatever I just made that up in my mind

completely you did yeah uh that's like a

more comfortable place for my brain

apparently it is a more

it's a very unsling ending and you're

like you understand the tension but

you're also like she's alive right we it

doesn't have to be this way right I

don't know

I'll I'm going to think about outlining

the second book maybe we'll review that

one as well from what I remember the

second book goes completely unhinged

yeah it does I don't like I don't

remember all of the details I I do feel

like for some reason the words sex

wedgie are coming to mind I have no

memory of that I don't know why but that

when I think of the second book every

time I think of it I thought of the term

sex wedgie and I

don't maybe I well maybe we'll outline

this one maybe we won't I don't know

this one was a weird one cuz reading it

I I really enjoyed it as I was reading

it while also suspending belief

I think for

me like the ending of this one into the

beginning of the next one is what killed

it for me and made me so irritated

because I really really really hate it

when something that is obviously a

miscommunication or people just

being um like emotionally immature and

choosing not to communicate causes like

when that's the Trope in itself yes when

that's it I'm like come on man and then

when there's like a yearl long inlude

that just makes me so mad I'm like so

we've neither of us have moved on and

nobody's okay and I just I it that just

makes me really mad I can't tell you why

I don't know that just gets me every

time it makes me so mad spoilers for the

next one cuz it does not pick right

up

yeah okay I'm like we could be happy if

you guys would have a

conversation tell me how you really feel

that's it that was the feel how you

really feel yeah that was the feeling I

think that's really valid though but

what's your rating skill here oh no what

rating skill are we going with I don't

know we could do Hollywood stars we

could do anklets anklets sure or Holly I

like the stars mhm mhm M cuz you know

stars are a lot like most normal

people's raing scales un like what we

normally do um yeah Hollywood stars

mhm how many Hollywood stars we doing it

out

of I mean there's the ever standard five

yeah I'm going to go three out of five

for the first book I

think there's a lot of like sweet

context that I'm not quite sure I did

Justice um where it was like a really

fun and enjoyable like Xavier and

Waverly were like very smart and had

great banter and like I didn't capture

their banter right it's hard to capture

B it's hard to capture

banter so I'm going to say three out of

five for crossing the line if we decide

to review the next one um I I can't

guarantee it will also be as high which

I don't know if 50% is high but here we

are yeah I'm going to say three out of

five stars for crossing the line you

read it what would you

say um I would say

probably I would be comfortable with

three out of five right for at least for

the first one yeah you see it was the

ending that threw me yeah more than

anything I think cuz I remember

strongly disliking it but I don't think

it was because of the majority of the

book like I actually did appreciate

hearing you retell it to

me um I remember appreciating the family

dynamics of it and I remember

appreciating the banter there were

unexpected things that I appreciated

about it yes yeah but the ending was so

jarring and I don't even mind a

cliffhanger but this didn't feel like a

cliffhanger this just felt like an

unfinished moment well and while we

might not outline it just for a little

bit of uh context it reminded me a lot

of the show

Alias it all comes back to Alias all

goes back to Alias um it reminded me of

Alias because there was a cliffhanger at

the end of one of their Seasons where I

was like how are they going to get out

of this one and the next season just

starts two years down the line and

you're like [ __ ] yep we just

that that feel yes you cheated and that

does happen at the start of this one so

I understand yeah I understand the

frustration you were feeling going into

book two let all right I'm I'll figure

out if I'm going to outline book two we

don't need to keep Harpy on this three

out of five

stars Hollywood stars of it's a specific

type you know um so let us know if that

is what you are

into let us know your thoughts let us

know your feelings how do you feel about

sunscreen

how do you feel about cobblestones

inquiring minds sunscreen is a necessary

evil yeah Cobblestone is beautiful until

you have to wear high

heels and my mic keeps falling so that's

what we're going to call it that's what

we're going to call it have a good night

SML see you later smut

puppies well that's it for this week's

mut [ __ ] we hope it was good for you

cuz it sure was great for us if you're

digging what we're doing it would mean a

lot if you'd take a minute to rate

review the show wherever you're

listening right now maybe tell that sexy

someone to lend us an ear we love you we

appreciate you and we'll see you next

week stay

[Music]

smudy