Smut Club

well hello All You Beautiful

[Music]

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Chelsey and

[Applause]

Hannah I don't feel great about that

clap but hey everybody Welcome to smut

club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this

is the podcast where we frequently

daydrink and review our favorite romance

novels some are better than others very

correct yeah but that doesn't mean we

love the other ones any less also except

when we

do except for certain ones you know

which ones if you've listened to the

podcast we're not subtle

people a coworker was telling me that uh

them and a friend had listened to one of

our

episodes but they were like Chelsea my

friend was listening to the episode in

public and got so uncomfy they like left

the store they were in and head I'm

like could they have turned off the

podcast and kept shopping right or were

they so into the podcast they were like

I have to Know How It Ends like I which

I'm so honored right quite frankly if

I've taken the gas to drive somewhere

I'm I'm probably going to switch off the

podcast or sit in my car I know that's

what I would do i' go and sit in my car

until I got through it MH

mhm but we aren't going to get through

anything if we don't know what book

we're reviewing today you're the one who

did today's review I did we are doing

Nora's Kraken by Lee Miller which was a

request um from a former cooworker of

mine current cooworker of yours shout

out to Caitlyn um so how was Lee spelled

just l e i g h oh okay MH like I feel

like there's a couple different options

so if anyone was looking it up wanted

you know I although many other books are

also called Norris Kraken uh none that I

found cuz when I Googled it when Caitlyn

recommended it it was just the one that

I found so you know go with that go with

the only book you'll probably find in a

Google search called Norris

Kraken

so this is like a uh

contemporary

paranormal um

and we

open like straight into it so Nora is

our main character it switches back and

forth between her point of view and

Elias's point of view but we open with

Nora Elias underused name great name

yeah I like it yeah yeah when I read it

I was like why don't we use that more

it's good other Contender

silus I I would lump them in the same

category yeah yeah

so Nora sorry my cousin is pregnant and

we going back and forth about baby names

I get it I got off the I I did bath time

and was on the phone earlier this week

and by the time I got off the phone I

had

47 m missed text messages on this thread

where they were going back and forth

Just on baby names so uh a little in in

the the name head space that makes sense

and it is a big decision I was about to

say 47 text messages feels really

extreme but if you're going to do that

with anything it should be what you're

going to name your kid right and there's

five of us on the thread yeah so I feel

like that that's pretty easy to do when

you get on a roll yeah that's fair okay

but oh I was up say say so tell me more

about silus but that's not his name no

we're we're still with Nora so there is

a we haven't even made it to the other

one yet okay so there's a uh government

agency called the Paranormal citizens

relations Bureau because

monsters came out a few years ago and

like let humans at large know that they

exist and so they're integrating into

society and so the Paranormal citizens

relations Bureau that's the last time

I'm going to say the whole thing cuz

it's a lot um is like responsible for

supporting them and figuring that out

out so Nora is very much human and she

is at the bureau because she's been

recognized as a mate to a kraken shifter

so she's meeting with an agent who is

telling her

hey somebody recognized you as their

mate is that part of why Monsters made

their presence known for the opportunity

to mate does that matter why they made

their presence known I don't think that

ever really fully comes out okay um

there's a lot of like political stuff in

in there um but primarily it seemed to

be more of a um like a changing of the

times thing where with cell phones and

cameras and things like that it was

getting harder to hide and so they were

kind of like let's just get ahead of it

I respect that so nor is freaking out um

about this whole you have a mate thing

she's like who even is it I've never met

this person I don't want a mate um and

the agent is trying to explain to her

that Krakens are very very

loyal um and sometimes a little bit

Territorial and she immediately shuts

down and is like nope um because she

like is thinking about a past abusive

relationship that she was in so as soon

as she hears anything about somebody

being possessive or ter

she's like abolutely not not into it I'm

not doing it so the Kraken apparently

saw her when she was out getting coffee

a few days

ago and so the bureau followed up with

her uh like the same day to come in but

this is a few days later she kind of put

it off until a couple days later okay so

she flat out tells the the agent she is

not interested she's like thank you but

no thank you I'm out of here like I'm

done I don't want to meet him I don't

want to know anything else I'm out so on

the way out of the building she runs

into this gorgeous guy who recognizes

her it's the

Kraken

what

[Laughter]

amazing so so she's starting to panic

because she's like oh [ __ ] and um

like he was there waiting for her it

seems like he was going to meet the

agent it doesn't seem like he was like

stalking her okay but he does like she

literally runs into him and he like

grabs her arm to steady her and she's

like oh God and he immediately like

backs up and he's like I'm I'm really

sorry just really quietly like I'm

really sorry and then she like runs away

so we go to Elias's point of view and he

is our

Kraken so he's trying not to freak out

how big are

Kraken so um he's unshifted so he's in

human form that's something I should

have mentioned to be fair when you said

she ran into a gorgeous man I like

assumed he was in human form but then I

like paused for a second I was like what

is the notum form I was like I don't

pretty big from what it sounds like

later this seems like pretty large yeah

ites

heyo

so um he

is really upset that she doesn't want

anything to do with him and he calls her

Lenora which is her full name um and he

hasn't slept since he found her 3 days

ago he just wants to be near

her and it turns out the agent who was

talking to her was actually um the

director of The Bureau and it's Elias's

best friend

so um the plot thick I know

so Blair who is the agent tells Elias

you need to let her come to you right

like just back up just it's going to be

okay great wingman

advice and um he Blair is also like

listen monsters have done a lot of work

to from a PR perspective to not be

terrifying to All Humans do not [ __ ]

this up for us like you need to simmer

down don't do anything stupid get that

you're excited but do not ruin this for

all of us because you can't keep your

Kracken dick in your pants correct yeah

and so um Elias is like okay I will

ignore every Instinct I have to follow

her and make sure that she's safe um I

will I will let her come to me so we're

back to Nora she is staying busy going

to work in a where she works in a

bookstore she's doing her thing and then

she it's Tuesday which is Coffee Day

apparently she has a very regimented

schedule because Tuesday is Coffee Day

where she like goes out for a coffee so

she goes to a different shop I feel like

she she might need some

more kazaz in her life little razzled

Dazzle

something something she doesn't want any

of it so she goes to a different coffee

shop hoping to avoid Elias because

that's where he saw her the first

time um which my notes say unsuccessful

he was also trying to avoid the same

coffee shop they run into each

other I thought I thought he was you

were going to say it was unsuccessful

because he was stalking her and just

followed her to the other so he really

is trying to be respectful and be like

okay like that's her Cofe I'll go to

this one I will like give her space and

time which is part of why I like this

book because it's a very sort of

refreshing departure from the usual

faded mate thing where he was like tough

[ __ ] like I'm your mate and like

dragging her off somewhere like I love

books when they like claim them in a

bonding ceremony and don't tell them

until after she's like I just felt a

burn on my ass while we were Bing then

afterward she's like he branded me that

son of a [ __ ] and you're

like wait wait what he did what consent

matters you guys for a lot of reasons

for a lot of reasons and in this one

Elias is very conscious of that and it's

very endearing

actually so um he's the CEO of major

company and blah blah blah and and he so

he's a successful very successful Kraken

shifter yes so we learned that Blair the

director of The Bureau and Elias were we

eventually put it all together they were

pirates together and then they started a

legitimate business and they would trade

off like every 30 years since they don't

die or age so one of them would be the

public face of the company the other one

would work in the background and then

they would switch every so often so

people wouldn't get like suspicious so

they would switch every 30 I don't

remember I didn't write it down they

switch every so

often that I apologize that wasn't me

crique like critiquing your I don't know

no it was more of I'm like you think

they would need to switch more often

because if you don't age I think some

disp sooner than 30 years I'm sure they

did something like dye their hair gray

or something I don't know and none of

that was explained but um so he's

clearly also very powerful so Blair left

the company Elias took it over

completely so he's very very wealthy um

and very powerful and Nora remembers

running from her ex and having to take

just like a little bit of cash and

jewelry that she could carry before

moving across the country to Seattle

because he was also very powerful and

very wealthy and she's like yeah can't

be under anyone's thumb yeah she's like

double no not doing this um so he starts

walking with her like not following her

but he just wants to continue their

conversation and he touches her shoulder

and she flips out she's like do not

touch me do not speak to me again and we

go to his point of view and he feels so

bad like he feels so so guilty that he

cross crossed a boundary that he scared

her and so he realizes that she

is she is not going to change her mind

like she's very set in the boundaries

that that she's putting forth and so he

is going to do his absolute very best to

honor them and um so he makes a decision

he is not going to reach out to her he

is not going to speak to her even if he

sees her in public like he's going to

leave her alone uh but when he gets to

work he starts researching her online

because he just can't help it like he

just wants to know a little bit more

about her and he feels really guilty

that he's even doing that um but

eventually finds out that she used to

have a different last name and her

boyfriend was in Congress until she

suddenly disappeared like 3 years ago so

they were constantly like on page six or

in magazines and stuff together and then

all of a sudden she just like poofed

yeah so like her ex is not a man who

like just like thought he emitted big

dick energy and like was not like he

like powerful in his own head but it was

really just like physically controlling

like I'm like oh like actual power yep

okay and so now that same boyfriend is

on the Paranormal Relations Committee in

Congress and so he's

like you

know he's like I I just want to know how

to keep her safe like I don't know what

happened to her but like I just want to

know how to keep her safe so in his head

he's now like okay well if I can't love

her I'll just protect her kind of yeah

he's like I I just I'll be here if she

needs me but I'm not going to like

insert myself into her life um if she

doesn't want to talk to me she doesn't

have to I'm a big Elias fan right now

yes and I stay that way through the

whole thing personally I love that yes

it's very nice it's so refreshing it's

truly actually very refreshing to not be

like bro what happened what happened to

like the kindness and the consent and

the thoughtfulness where did it go all

right so you know Vance and I love our

like trashy reality television I do know

that we've been watching Love Island

Australia season five okay okay

because there's so freaking many I'm

like there there's too many to keep up

with but we started this season and and

it's really good but part of why it's

really good is like Vance and I looked

each other and we're like the like

contestants this year I'm like these

boys are like caricatures I'm like I was

like they all think they are the main

character but in like that really like

some of them like are like openly

gaslighting their partners and like

owning it to the boy like like and one

of those things where you're like what

is happening like you're like do like in

that way when you read those characters

on a on the page and you're like okay

this is like exaggerated yeah and then

I'm like do oh is this real or like is

this how you guys actually just like

exist in the world right or is this I

hope it's just for TV yeah I was like is

this just for TV I was like because

you're

like atrocious boys you're actual

monsters yes yeah yeah like like would

we'll tell one girl to her face like I

really want to be with you you're the

only one in here for me and then we'll

like turn around and tell like the new

girls like yeah she's not my type at all

I think she's really

trashy but jokes on him apparently he's

a horrible kisser and all of the girls

have talked about it and now everyone

across several continents has talked

about it that's the come up we're

looking for I at I was like that's

that's the karmic moment I've been

waiting for yes yes oh I love that so

much I got like legit upset at like one

of the other guys for how he was like

gaslighting and manipulating his partner

I was like I'm watching the cycle of

abuse play out on

screen I

like I was like that like no good pencil

[ __ ] mother man was like

Chelsea and I was like he can't do that

to her she's too

kind that's the worst though when

they're so sweet yeah well and then

there's like sharp contrast cuz there's

like other guys who were just

legitimately that kind and wonderful

where like they were going after the

same girl and like the super shitty guy

threw the other guy under the bus and

he's like I don't trust you with anyone

but me like I don't trust you with him

and when the other dude was like what

the hell if you were into her like be

into her but like why did you have to

like go about it like that and the guy

was like oh I mean that's just like like

what Lads do right like that's just like

I'm like I like that's what your friend

group does to each other like get better

friends yes please like you know it

doesn't have to be like this right I

sometimes I think like maybe it's that

so many of like upand cominging

Generations grew up on like the real

world and like all that [ __ ] that like

maybe they do think that that's the way

that it is like big brother and like all

of that [ __ ]

Laguna Beach was

not or even like even the OC and like

Gossip Girl like life is not Gossip Girl

you guys it really isn't

XOXO absolutely

not you know exactly what I'm talking

about I I do but I got stuck on the OC

cuz I was thinking of Misha

Barton sure why wouldn't we think and

just

that wild ride that was the

OC but yeah like when you watch those

shows and you're like this is not the

real world like this is

not like this is not what we emulate our

Behavior off of and why would you want

to like why would you want to be that I

don't get it I don't get it and so

really this Kraken shifter is is

representing the best of us all he is he

is and speaking of friend groups Nora is

having my notes say bestie time um and

they she has two best friends I at least

one of them gets her own book I think

the other also does but I'm not positive

I did read the next one in the series

cuz I did enjoy this one so much but um

the besties talk to her about like all

of her fears and like he is not your ex

and you

know even if you do start dating this

Kraken cuz that's the other concern that

she has is that Elias is fairly

high-profile so if she starts dating him

her ex could potentially find her um if

but okay I might go ahead no I probably

left something out well no but she she H

she still has the same first name she's

just changed her last name

uhhuh I don't know with how powerful

they're portraying him to be it doesn't

really seem like he wouldn't able to

find her across the country if he really

wanted to right now it seemed like he

did want to but he couldn't let anybody

know that she left him like that and so

he couldn't use all the resources at his

disposal because to keep up appearances

I see okay yeah that's the way they made

it out to be but if she starts getting

photographed with Elias then you know

it's kind of all for not I also just

finished a book series where they had

like their own satellite system so they

were like we can literally do whatever

we want and spy on anyone and find

anyone so I'm probably also making it

easier in my head than it is to just

find people who try and hide obviously

yeah it's like we were just talking

about Alias earlier it's like Alias they

just get on and they're like they hit

four buttons on a keyboard and they're

like well got them they're in Taiwan

nailed it like

what

I'm like my computer doesn't even unlock

that quickly I can't log in and you have

already found the bomb my Google Chrome

crashes at least once a

week like okay

guys so anyway Nora is concerned about

all these things her friends are talking

her through all of that um but they

don't tell her what to do they're just

like talking her through her fears

supporting her and then Blair the

director of The Bureau calls and asks to

meet up with her and he tells her that

um he does know who she is like in

relation to her

ex um but he doesn't have access to

their files and she is not going to be

exposed through the government that way

um and she's like would Elias even want

to see me at this point like I really

shut him down super hard like uh I don't

know and she also has this concern she's

like well is being a mate like is he

obligated to me like does he even

actually want me or is it the whole mate

thing that is like spurring this

on and well

Nora you barely talk to the man so I

think right now it is probably an

interest in wanting to get to know the

person who is biologically mated to be

his partner forever right um correct I'm

sure you have a winning personality but

you haven't shown it yet I don't really

feel like you can say does he even want

me for me or does he just want me CU I'm

his mate and I'm

like

honestly right now primarily call him B

babe yeah like do you want do you want

the answer you want to hear or do you

want the actual answer in this scenario

yeah well and Blair is trying to explain

to her like he is going to treasure you

forever period like that's it okay I do

actually have a question that you might

not have the answer

to Is there is this one of those things

that like once you are claimed and mate

with your monster

counterpart you will then live forever

as well so we're gonna get to that

because that's actually a plot Point

okay well sorry to that's okay jump so I

feel like I do that I like ask questions

you're like Chelsea rain it end we'll

get there give me a

minute no it actually is super like it's

actually a cute moment but um then it

flashes to Elias and he's in a very

stupid business meeting and he's very

irritated to be sitting there and then

his assistant comes in um and says that

someone on his urgent list is here it's

Nora she showed up at his office and he

very readily kicks out the idiots who

are in his office he's like and we're

done here I'm very irritated with you

[ __ ] get out

um and so he's trying to play it cool

he's got very much

like I want to say golden retriever

cinnamon roll energy where he's like

don't freak her out like I can see like

a golden retriever tail like just going

but trying to be as still as possible

like don't startle her like

because he's so excited that she is like

in his

space um and she asks what would happen

if I don't agree to be your mate what

would happen and his thought this is a

direct quote his thought is um it would

be a black mark on my soul but he

doesn't tell her that because his

thought is it is not her responsibility

or her fault that she is his faded mate

and so he doesn't want her to feel

guilty or obligated and so he basically

is just

like you know i' I'd be kind of sad

like it's so endearing like he's like I

don't want her to feel like I'm

emotionally manipulating her into doing

what I

want and that's through the whole book

he very it's not just like um I'm

putting her first but really I'm getting

what what I want by putting her first

but like it's really about me it truly

does feel like it's actually about

taking care of her which is really

really sweet um So eventually she does

agree to go on a date with him but just

we're just going on a date

um and

um he is she's very sassy like as she

starts to get more comfortable with him

she's like teasing him and he's like

really thrown off like does not know

what to make of it um but decides he's

very into it and starts calling her

little siren which is like his cute

little nickname for her so I always love

I feel like that's one of

my my new newer favorite things to track

in books is like how soon they whip out

the term of endearment that's going to

be like theirs the cutesy nickname yes

like their like go-to cutesy nickname

for the rest of the book and like how

soon do do we like whip that out I've

been reading several books by one author

recently and I'm like oh I feel like she

start everyone starts getting called

Baby right around the 20% part but like

I don't hate

it I've just noticed it well it's like I

am in the middle of a series right now

but in like the

first two chapters it was like princess

immediately immediately princess what

book are you reading uh I hold

on the first one was pretty dark vows

and now I'm reading pretty wicked

Secrets is the next

one uh one of the ones that I just read

he started calling her princess like

from the jump but then you find out that

she's a literal princess oh this is not

that she's 100% a

stripper I mean not that a princess

can't be a stripper I don't want to

pigeon hole anyone but no no royalty

don't limit

yourself but I don't think that the one

in my book is actual royalty yeah no not

in this

case although I'm only like a little bit

into the second book more will be

revealed you know um well what oh I just

read a new series by well new to me I'm

not sure when it came out but another

Tate James series and I feel like Tate

James I love just how out of pocket

those books get they do because that is

the sort of thing that you will be like

three books in and then suddenly

discover someone is royalty right and

you're like the [ __ ] T James has no

issue Jumping the Shark none whatsoever

repeatedly she will come back around and

jump the same shark it's like how did we

do

that and yet I read all of them we

continue to read them cuz I just cuz at

this point I'm like I need to know I

need to know how ridiculous this one's

going to get but then I'm there for it

the whole time so I'm like I'm enjoying

them but they just get so

wild it's very much like a like an early

odd soap opera feel of like so and so

has an evil twin and is actually your

mother and it's like a whole what like

okay yes yes you get it I'm like the

number of people that fake their deaths

and come back oh yeah oh yes so many

right like a concerning amount

like like is nobody

checking like really feels like we

didn't do our due diligence before we

signed that death

certificate like who is the coroner like

get a new

one it's the coroner from eyes

[Music]

zombie yeah where she ends up eating

their brains oh no or the one from

Brooklyn 99 who's into the weird sex

stuff instead of doing the autopsy my

God I forgot about that

one while I was sick last week that's

what I watched I watched Brooklyn 99 um

I that will that is a core memory that I

will have forever of being being in

labor at the hospital with an epidural

laying on my side with like the [ __ ]

peanut ball medicine ball between my

legs watching Brooklyn 99 on a laptop

while I ate ice

chips and then when the nurse would come

in and be like we got to flip you to the

other side my husband would just move

the cart to the other side and I would

keep watching Brooklyn 99 like the

doctors had to pause it when they'd come

into check on me how did I not know

that a I love that for you nothing like

you know working on dilating well Doug

Judy and Jake Peralta are at it again

whole PB and J um okay sorry I got this

very off track there where I don't even

know oh oh he's very excited that she's

there and they agree to a date

everything's great so we're at Norah's

point of view it's date night he takes

her to the aquarium after

hours cuz he's a big donor so they like

open the Aquarium for them are Krakens

waterbased yes they're like an octopus

well that's what I thought hence the

tentacles well that's what I thought and

so he took it there to show off well it

seems like he just loves it there and is

comfortable there and just wanted to

share it with her so yeah he did with

those tentacles sorry so at the touch

pool I see I see where we got there's an

octopus yeah there's an octopus in the

touch pool and she makes a joke about

him trying to get her more comfortable

like touching sea creatures and he like

gets really flustered and he's like uh

no I don't I didn't I'm not it's not I I

didn't until he realizes that she's

joking um and she describes like all

this warmth like he's looking at her

with like all this warmth and

affection and they eat pizza in the

aquarium uh it turns out he's 300 years

old um so Pizza in the aquarium sounds

like a great [ __ ] date right I was

thinking that the whole time I was like

I want to go to an empty aquarium at

night with like all the lights and all

that stuff and then yeah have pizza yes

I want to do that 10 out of 10 yes go on

that date I'm sure it was hella

expensive but you know I think he can

afford it he can he can I can't but you

know that's not the point Nora gets to

enjoy it and I get to vicariously so um

a lot of aquariums do have night

Adventures they do and like sleepover

packages I don't know they I would want

to sleepover I did one as a child like

it was like our

like youth group girls thing where we

would go and we would sleep with the man

manes I love manatees so it was you'd

like bring your own like air mattress

and sleeping bag but then you just slept

by their tent or not not their tent

their tent their tank their tank yeah

and we weren't in tents because we were

inside but it was super cool to wake up

and be like there's manatees there's

some manatees just vibing right next to

us I feel like that's all manatees do is

just

Vibe they are professional viers

essentially yeah yeah

and especially growing up in Florida oh

yeah we had lot of them so many mines

yeah they're so funny looking they are

so funny looking and I my sister my

older sister used to take me to like

feed them you you just give them cabbage

leaves they just sort of snuffle at your

hand it's so cute yeah they're

perfect no

notes like can confirm and that's it

there were no manatees mentioned at the

aquarium that they are at on their date

well for being such a good

donor why aren't we protecting more

manatees you get it um although I guess

we did grow they're in Seattle right

right and so like we're like manity

people we grew up in Florida we're like

oh on the complete opposite side I don't

are there manties on that side I don't

know enough about their migration

patterns do they have migration patterns

I don't know I'm sorry there aren't

manatees there I'm getting

very mant up in the manatees manatees

are important just not to the story um

so oh my God I'm about to go on a whole

different tangent okay I need to come

back I'm coming back so he's three years

old three years old 300 years old um

and she is kind of like frustrated with

herself because every opening he gives

her to talk about herself like every

question he asks um she turns it back on

him or she kind of deflects in some way

um

and she's basically like I am really

like not on your level like I am not

worth your time I don't know why we're

doing this right now it feels really

weird um because he obviously cares for

her very deeply like automatically and

she's like I don't get it why are you so

into me right you have your [ __ ]

together you've had 300 years to get

your [ __ ] together yeah and it's not

like a low self-esteem thing either it

feels more like a like a realistic what

are we what what are you doing bud like

are you sure okay um so like more of a

how will this work yeah un less of like

a how could he be into me

I don't even have a savings account

right and more of like the I'm just so

dumpy how could he ever want me like n

it's not like that it's more like

a like practically how is this going to

work yeah it's like we lead very

different lives yeah huh okay and so he

says that he really just wants the

chance to get to know her and for her to

get to know him and he's like I will do

whatever it takes to make you happy like

however whatever Pace you want to go at

what however you want it to look I am on

board um so she is super confused by

that she's like what do you mean you're

you're going to do what I want how I

want it I don't get

it but I'll I'll try I guess I don't get

it so back to Elias he

is kind of beating himself up for

letting things get so heavy at dinner um

he just wants her to be comfortable um

and he is really fighting his instincts

to give her space so like that more

evolved side of him recognizes that

following her around and like being up

her ass all the time is not going to

help anything at all um

so uh great Insight stocking doesn't

work right correct

yes please ignore all of Haunting

Adeline you know it it doesn't work so

he asked to drive her home because she

had taken the bus um and she agrees but

says she needs a picture of his driver's

license which I really

appreciated um she sends it in her group

chat to her besties she's like here you

go guys just in case and he's like that

makes me really sad like he's not

offended he's just like it's really sad

that women have to do that like that

really sucks but I'm also really glad

that she's careful that's good

like I did you see that thread that like

it was a tweet that was getting shared a

while ago um but they were talking about

man how Wild are women's text threads

where it's like hey besties sharing my

location for my date tonight so I don't

get murdered and the friend like good

luck you're going to kill it yeah like

and yet it's it's so normalized that

we're sitting there like hey just if you

don't hear from me by 11:00 send police

yeah for real it's like fit check also

here's my location if you don't hear

from me by such and such time and

they're like oh my God bestie you look

super hot and we will have 911 on

standby like which shoes should I wear

and this I am sharing my location for

the next 24 hours right and they're like

which one has better traction so you can

run just in case like what fresh hell

like oh my

God

valid yeah okay valid concerns on valid

concerns so he is totally fine again

just doing whatever she needs to feel

safe

um so when they get to her apartment he

tells her that he does know a little bit

about her ex and he she explains that he

had been looking for her and that uh

things really did not end well between

them um and uh but she doesn't elaborate

at all so he's you know curiosity is

peaked so uh they agree to a second date

um they kiss at the at her door it's

amazing um and that's sweet obviously

it's super cute and then we're back with

Nora she's like taken off guard by how

amazing the kiss is I'm just going to

say and maybe I'm about to eat my words

here are they about to [ __ ] in like 5

Seconds no okay cuz that's what I was

that say I appreciate I'm like oh like

it it's been a a slow buildup to get to

the first kiss and I feel like some

books are just like okay well we we made

it to the kiss so now his fingers will

be inside her and you're like wait

what how did that she was like I don't

even know that I want him to drive me

home like

yeah let's get naked I and so I

appreciate the the consistency in that

capacity and it is actually Elias who

pulls back like things do start to

escalate a little bit but he pulls back

and um he tells her that he is not going

to go too fast um because she is worth

the weight like she's important enough

that they need to get to know each other

and he's not going to [ __ ] this

up so it's 5 days later Nora is at work

she has been texting Elias every day um

and daydreaming about him pretty

constantly um she is alone in the

bookstore where she works and she sees a

man past the window who looks just like

her ex oh no and she starts to freak out

so she calls Elias um and it turns out

he is out of the country he's in Canada

um and he says not to panic that he's

sending somebody to her like lock the

door doors turn the lights out don't

move until the person I send for you

shows up um and he asks why why did you

call me and she said because she knew

that he would be there for her that she

could count on him um a and uh she is

like I know I did this on purpose like I

called him for help on purpose but now I

don't know how to accept it she's like

wants to argue with him about it and

then she's like

but the whole

reason and so she's having this like

dialogue with herself about like can you

get your [ __ ] together right now like

come

on so but that is like the most human

yes

like

especially being a two on the

inag I have realized over the years and

like with really like working through it

and processing I'm like oh man

I'm not good at like identifying what I

need to then be able to communicate what

I'm like one I know I don't want to

inconvenience anyone anyway right oh

yeah never ever but then I'm like I have

a difficult time even identifying what I

need to be able to communicate it that

is what marriage taught

me like my husband being like I'm

literally here I am here to help tell me

what you need what do you need and I'm

like I don't [ __ ] know like why don't

you know

just like read my mind that I can't read

and just tell me what I

need exactly yeah so she's having a

special I know I need help I know I need

assistance I cannot articulate what that

is or what I want it to look like even

when I know I need it and then she's

like this is this is a smart idea I

don't want to accept this help she's

like what the [ __ ] is wrong with me

right now

so we flash to Elias and he is flipping

out trying to get back to her and it

turns out that the ex whose name is

Daniel is in Seattle um to meet with

Blair at the bureau because of all the

Congress whatever so um so it was indeed

him yes it was him and but he doesn't

know that his ex is in Seattle as far as

we know so as far as we know it was it

purely coincidence that he happened to

walk past the store right total fluke

situation um but Elias feels guilty that

maybe like he put Nora back on Daniel's

radar somehow um and so he gets back to

his house and um his staff his like

housekeeper um got Norah all set up and

with a room and toiletries and clothes

and everything she could need uh and he

tries to just go to bed but he decides

to check on her um cuz he just he like

just needs to see her to like confirm

that she's okay um well especially if he

rushed all the way back from Canada he

did Rush all the way back from Canada

which I don't think is actually that far

from Seattle I don't know where in

Canada he was it's a large place but it

seems he got back pretty quickly

probably not in Manitoba probably not I

don't I don't know why he would be in

Manitoba he wasn't that far east no no

um Manitoba is East right I don't know I

just read a book where they accidentally

went to Manitoba well not accidentally

they went to Manitoba but they didn't

mean to they meant to go to Glen Lily

which I guess is near Manitoba okay I do

feel better Manitoba is where I thought

it was which is above North

Dakota

okay I'll take your word for it this is

American public school systems at work

one of my dearest friends is from

Winnipeg like we've been good friends

for uh since before Obama was in office

and so I'm like feeling a little guilty

in this

moment you don't more cuz I initially I

was like Manitoba I know where it is and

then I was like [ __ ] maybe do I then I

looked I was like oh I do okay it is

where I thought but now I feel guilty

that I should have just had more

confidence in it yeah yeah no I have

nothing for for Canada except for

watching letter Kenny which I don't

think is the

same and the great news is my friend

owns a coffee shop and has a family and

has his own life and is not the Target

demographic for the show so he will

never need he will never need to know he

will never be offended by it sorry

Chad Okay so so sorry Chad so sorry so

after when Elias goes to check on her uh

of course they make out and she

apologizes for interrupting his trip and

he's like never apologize you know that

whole moment um that whole moment and

I'm like I do know that whole you know

exactly what I'm talking about um and so

then they make out some more and she

asked him to stay with her and um he's

trying to be cool again but again I get

like the vibrating

puppy situation cuz he is so excited

that she has asked this of him he

doesn't have any expectations about

what's going to happen he's just excited

to be near her he just wants to bask in

her presence 100% he's just like H also

I said bask in her presence and then in

my head I went in The Nearness of the

Lord I'm like tell me you grew up

the Conservative Christian S without

telling me you cow the Conservative

Christian

no oh my God surrounded by Your

glory

no I'm sorry to ruin their sweet moment

well with my third day

references like 15% of our audience is

going to understand that but for the

ones who do that joke will slap because

the the the manate tangent I almost win

on was very much Veggie Tales related

so okay I desperately need to hear about

that later cuz I I need to know how

manatees and Veggie Tails go hand in

hand but to keep us on track to keep us

on track we are back to Nora we're not

even drinking right now we're not even

drinking today you guys this is good

this is good so we're back to Nora it's

the next morning she wakes up with Elias

and

um she kind of has this moment where the

adrenaline is gone from all of it and

she realizes like he showed up with no

expectation from her like he helped her

he took care of her and she's like

that's really weird and he like didn't

push anything physical with her he just

literally laid down she does not know

what to do with him being a good guy

yeah she's like H I don't trust it she's

like uhuh you know I'm not going to lie

and I know that there's tentacle stuff

we're going to get to but I feel like

when you hear the title nor is cracken

you're

like salacious we're expecting darker

things yes which is why the

wholesomeness of this like took me off

guard and I was like oh that's nice

you know exactly what I'm talking about

you really do um so then he finally

wakes up again they start making out

again and she asks if he would be more

comfortable shifted like partially

shifted um partially yes so he can shift

just his lower

half okay there it is the way your eyes

just lit up that's it yeah

um and he's like like a school girl yeah

he's like do do you want me to shift

like is that what you want and she has

been watching some crack and porn and

she might be into it but um she's not

ready and so he tells her that it

doesn't matter anyway and this is all

about her and goes down on

her um and she is is feeling him up

after he's like in the traditional sense

he went down on her right yes I just

know tentacles are I just need there are

no tentacles yet I just like we're not

to

tentacles we haven't made it to the

tentacles we haven't made it to the

tentacles the slowburn continues like

they're we're working up to it so can we

get that on Shir we haven't made it to

the tentacles yet we're working up to

the

tentacles

oh I would wear that shirt

okay I

know okay so um he's like obviously

super into it he's just really excited

that he gets to touch her at all and

she's feeling him up afterwards and some

of his skin has shifted a little bit and

she can feel it and he starts

apologizing cuz he's

like um like you didn't want me to shift

and I didn't mean to and she has no

issue with it and just goes back to

cuddling him she's like it's no big deal

and they just cuddle okay yeah um and

Elias is in his head that maybe she

won't accept him

shifted um but he also is just really

thankful and excited to be with her and

he like well if she's my mate and she's

not into it then I'm not into it either

no

problem which like is is sweet on one

hand and sad yeah and also

like I don't want you to have to deny

the parts of you that make you you a

liot yeah don't deny your tentacles bud

so um he's just like also

recognizing they've been on one date and

he needs to not be freaking out the way

that he is so

um they eat breakfast

together again he's just has so much

gratitude that she let him take care of

her um and he decides he's going to take

some days off of work to just hang out

with her um so they go hiking um what

and I may have missed this earlier if

you could refresh my memory what does

she do she works in a

bookstore holy [ __ ] balls I deaf knew

that I think for I think why I like I

paused was I'm like is she just not

working is she just like hiding out

until her ex leaves Seattle I think

that's why I po that's why I stopped I

was like wait I was like doesn't she

doesn't she work I was like does she

have a job why isn't she working that's

why I asked that but as soon as you said

bookstore I'm like oh damn Chelsea that

is not your best

moment I think like she only she doesn't

work a ton of shifts like it it felt

like not part-time but like four days a

week kind of deal okay um so they go

hiking um he takes her out of Seattle

and she is able to relax more knowing

that Daniel's like not just going to pop

up um um so they talk about his history

um

and he tells her that he was a pirate

with Blair back in the day um and he

would capture ships in his Kraken form

which tells you how big he is fully

shifted he's pretty massive oh um and

they stopped when

Blair's woman died um he was pretty sure

that she was his mate um and you only

get one and so there's a lot of guilt

that Elias feels because he feels like

he should have prevented her from dying

um and he's like oh I'm really sorry I

just brought down the mood so sorry um

is that misplaced guilt it seems that

way it seems like it really wasn't

anybody's fault like it was just an

accident um but

still feels horrible because it very

nearly killed Blair um to lose her that

way so uh Nora's like hey I I wanted to

know about you like thank you for

sharing with me you know you're not

bringing anything down um and so then uh

he drives her home she's like I can't

just stay with you we've been on one

date well two dates now I guess guess

like come on buddy and he's like

fine so

um again are you sure my house has

plenty of room so much room welcome to

stay so much space um so he he does

really want her to stay but he is you

know respectful of her boundaries yes

and

so he drives her home um and as they get

to her

she like freezes up and there is a note

from her ex on her door um and my notes

say Panic stations Elias checks the

apartment and holds her while she freaks

out so he then offers to pay for a hotel

for her or for her to use his condo in

the city instead of coming back to his

house since she didn't want to stay with

him he doesn't want to use that as like

a he's like you don't have to stay with

me I'm happy to provide you other

options that will still make you feel

safe also real quick question

MH is her ex all human yes okay yeah so

um she does eventually ask to stay with

him so um on the ride back to his house

Nora explains that Daniel used to leave

her notes all the time um he was very

emotionally and financially abusive um

and eventually became physically abusive

and that's why she left and so um he was

constantly criticizing and controlling

her

um and Elias is like at a loss of what

to do to help her um he's really angry

and he's like well I'm definitely going

to ruin Daniel's life that's an easy

decision but like how do I help Nora in

this moment like what how do I how is

she going to be okay he's like I

obviously have the resources to destroy

that man and I will and yeah and I'm

going to don't you worry he's like but

in the moment what does Norah need right

um which I respect that he's like I'm

going to do that and this moment is not

the time to put that plan into action

right because his true priorities are

her and like her well-being mhm so she

tells him that she wants a shower and

when he goes to leave her in the guest

room um she starts making out with him

and he goes to pull back because he's

like I'm not you're clearly emotional

like you're clearly upset and I am not

going to take advantage of you that way

and she is like jokes on you I was

planning to invite you into my apartment

anyway and Daniel is not taking this

from me so get in the [ __ ] shower

she's like this is happening so let me

suck your dick exactly your T your let

me suck your tentacles mating tentacle

you're mating you're mating tentacle

mating

tentacle is there a main tentacle

usually or is that just with shifters

they have one specific one that allows

them I don't know enough about I

seapods you knew enough to call them

seapods listen the confidence with which

I did that is the same confidence that

you had talking about where Manitoba is

it's enough to be pretty sure but not

enough to know for sure for

sure it's enough to say it with with

confidence until the first time someone

fact checks

100% yeah okay yeah it's enough until

somebody in the comments is like you are

the dumbest person on the planet like

aop pod is a [ __ ] spider or something

we're going to need it like a

Corrections Corner in the future corre

corner just that real fast like hey guys

so Chelsea does know what a [ __ ] is I

knew

it that too she does know the word

cingus don't you worry

all right but also please let us know if

we're making egregious errors yeah

please do we're not saying don't correct

us we are open to learning we are very

aware that we do not have all the

knowledge I'm not a marine biologist I

am going to look up seop pods while you

Contin pleas so

um they get naked she asked him to shift

and he says that she has to come on his

mouth first um and this is a direct

quote um then she can have his tentacles

if she's a good

girl so we're getting there now yeah

so um 10 out of 10 seapod does include

OCT

octopus I was almost

Vindicated

uh and

cuddlefish so I'm not going to try and

pluralize it and we're just going to

continue we're just going to continue

we're just going to pretend that Happ

well I'm I'm really glad that you did

but also I forgot I put this in my notes

it says he goes clam diving and then

does a partial

shift I'm so

sorry um

a con and we consented to the shift she

is in water right she did ask him to

shift and he said

yes but it is a partial shift I I have

logistical questions that don't matter

keep going okay so he said maybe they do

matter but I don't know if I want the

answer totally fair um so he says that

um he'll do a full shift for her in the

ocean

but it's not exactly sexy to have an

entire sea monster in your shower that

honestly helped answer some of my my

Quant I thought it might I thought it

might um so tentacles are doing a lot of

stuff

um yeah they are yeah and she starts

feeling him up back the ma The Mating

tentacle and

um he

is she's clearly into it and he is also

like not wanting to push her too far

like not wanting her to do anything that

makes her uncomfortable does he have a

normal penis when he's in his human form

he does yeah okay yeah um I wasn't sure

if he was just built like a kend doall

until he shifted I really forgot I did

this in my notes so then it says she

decides to get a taste of the

sea so sorry I love when you have like

had a drink or two and you decide that's

when to do your outline because the look

on your face as you read your outline

back to yourself and you're like Hannah

damn it did you really put that

why because I outlined this so long ago

too and I read my notes I guess I just

skimmed um anyway so Elias is shocked

that she wants to do this um and he

is thinking about xxs question mark

um

apparently I I don't know how any of it

works and it's never explained but he's

thinking about how he can't get her

pregnant until he intentionally secretes

egg sax he's thinking about this while

she is blowing him so I don't know my

notes literally say I have questions and

there are no

answers and you know I mean is this

we're gonna is this the part of the book

where we're going to stop suspending

bu yeah we we could just Overlook so

many things until we got to the egg sack

the egg sack really was the moment where

I was like well

what

so he gets her off with a

tentacle they go back to bed

um and

he after they have like their nice

cuddle time um he's telling her that he

thinks that she should go to the cops

and she's like to do what he left a note

on my door that wasn't even a threat in

the note like what are they going to do

um but she does eventually agree to talk

to Blair about it

um

and

uh so they sleep together not have sex

but they go to bed and when they wake up

um he tells her that he doesn't want to

rush anything that he wants a quote

unquote normal Pace

um and um she's pushing back against

that a little bit but he tells her that

um the best moments they've had so far

have been the normal ones have been

going to the aquarium having breakfast

together the beach all that stuff um and

so she agrees to spend the weekend with

him so um Elias is trying to figure out

where Daniel is if he's still in Seattle

it turns out he is not he's in Canada

apparently he is meeting with the

Canadian government to try to make it

more difficult for paranormals to get

visas and stuff like he's actively

working against the Paranormal

Community uh um and Blair doesn't know

if the leak about Nora came from his

office and he's pretty pissed about it

because how did Daniel find her address

and stuff and so he is like locking

everything down and he's like pretty

pretty big mad about the whole thing um

which feels like the correct level of

response yes it's very much like it's

not only about his best friend's mate

being in danger but it's also

all the other people like all of the

other paranormals and all of the other

mates and his employees who are both

paranormal and human he's like yeah

we're not we're shutting this

down so um Nora is really just honestly

living her life and having a pretty good

time with her friends she decides that

she maybe wants to go back to school cuz

Daniel forced her to drop out previously

so she's starts researching maybe going

back um Elias still has security with

her um and there's some really cute

moments where she's like bonding with

his staff um cuz the the One Security

guy is super Gruff and like doesn't

really talk to her um but she makes him

some banana bread as like a thank you

for for watching out for her thanks for

keeping me alive here's some banana

bread

like and the guy like really softens to

her her and you know Elias is very much

enjoying that his staff is loving her

I'm not going to lie I do always that is

something that I always enjoy is like

the relationship that like the girl

develops with the driver or the security

guard or just like the sweet the grounds

keeper yes that's very much like a I

don't know like a warm uncle or like a I

don't know how to describe the dynamic

but it's like just really kind and sweet

yeah and like I think like familial at

some level depending on the age of the

person yeah but like it's just always

like oh here's just like a safe person

in my corner yeah yeah yeah so because

throughout the book this guy had been

around and clearly just like not he's

very shut down and

professional and she's like I'm going to

crack him I'm going to get him going to

crack him like a kraken hey hey you get

it um

so back except he's not her her mate so

she

wouldn't she wouldn't no that would be a

big issue um

so that's the book tape James writes

instead every time damn it Tate um so

Elias is home and probably in this the

shower so

she is kind of thinking about her own

childhood um going through some stuff

that she had picked up from her

apartment like her mom was always

depressed and pretty neglectful and her

dad wasn't around and she's just like

thinking about it and kind of down and

so she decides to go look for Elias so

she calls out to him he doesn't answer

so she just goes into his room and

there's a huge like indoor outdoor

saltwater pool in his bedroom and she SE

SE tentacles on the side and realizes he

must be in the water and so she touches

one of his tentacles and it like snaps

out and pulls her into the

water so we go to Elias's point of view

and he immediately half shifts to like

prevent from like actually pulling her

under um and she's like it's cool I

would like a I would like a swim to ease

the stress of the day and just gets

naked um okay and um he's in his head

he's like we're taking it slow we're

taking it slow I'm not scaring her away

this is my M this is important it's not

at all there's a lot of tentacles

there's so many tentacles

so are there more than eight I don't

know I didn't count and I don't think

Nora did

either I'm just gonna how many tentacles

does a kraken have how many yeah

tentacles

do a kraken half 10 10 okay okay

wait yeah this one says the Kraken has

10 okay I wonder if that includes the

mating tentacle but then another one

says up to

eight so so we get to choose how many

tentacles we have choose your own

tentacle Adventure um now what I rating

scales yep hey woo

so he is also kind of concerned that now

that she's kind of like in his domain

that he's not going to let her leave cuz

he's so excited that she's there um so

um he again he's eating her out lots of

tentacle use restraining there's a

sucker on the

G-Spot there's a whole lot happening um

and he is like how much do you want and

she is like all of it all all of all of

the things I want all of it um she said

I want the whole tentacle experience yep

and you know in his head he's like I

will do whatever she wants whatever

makes her comfortable like whatever and

she's like yeah [ __ ] that let's do it um

so um he he's he's still trying to take

it slow and she's like I have now made

up my mind she's like let's hit the gas

get on board okay so um he just is

continuously checking in with her to

make sure that she's still with him that

she's still good

um and

um yeah there's so much so many

tentacles so she starts to get nervous

that she's not going to be able that

he's not going to fit like his mating

tentacle isn't going to fit um and he is

super sweet and

encouraging and um he's just

continuously like she comes again and

he's like

are you are you done are you good and

she's like nope still want more and he's

like okie dokie

like um finally [ __ ] her for real

um so he's just yeah he's just going for

it he was trying to hold back and she

wasn't having it I think my my favorite

part of this right now is just watching

you try to figure out how many details

to give her withhold about the tentacles

that's literally what's happening I'm

like I don't need to share

that like I can I can see it on your

face you're like I wrote it out nope not

going to say that's the quiet part that

does not get said out

loud you know who did say it out loud

[ __ ] Lee Miller so if you want all

the details please go read it you're

curious about the logistics of tentacle

sex

mhm Hannah is not the one to give them

to you no I can make recommendations for

people who could give you better

information than me so is the word

seapod used in the book you know I don't

know I don't know I don't remember but

um we are back to Elias's point of view

he explains mating to her um like that

she won't get pregnant unless he gives

her an egg um and yeah it's still never

explained he's like I don't really know

how it works either I don't

know um and he's like you know we don't

have to worry about it until you decide

you want to have babies really like we

don't have to do it and um she he tells

her so this is where the lifespan thing

comes in okay he tells her that she will

have an extended

lifespan um and she gets upset because

the way that it works is like their

lifespans meet in the middle so

basically she gets his life is going to

be shorter so that hers can be longer

and so she gets upset um that like he

his life is going to be shorter and he's

like you don't get it like I'm just

really happy that you're here it's like

I won't have a life without you so it's

okay this is it for me forever um so

um the next few days together they are

going to work they're banging it out

quite often um finding their

rhythms not how I meant that but exactly

how you meant it know honest to God I

like started it and I was like [ __ ] just

commit and you did I did

yes um they are spending time together

so you know they're having a good time

um there Daniel is still in Canada

trying to get laws about the Paranormal

Community changed up there um still

being a douche canoe still being a

pretty big douche

um he's they're just like bonding and

meeting each other's friends and that

kind of finding their rhythms yes the

early relationship stuff all the good

stuff and so um

cuz I mean I do I do feel like once you

[ __ ] the tentacles that is a solidifying

[ __ ] if there was one and

then um Elias again takes her to the

pool and he puts a tentacle in her ass

while he [ __ ] her and she's into it so

that is if the first one wasn't a

solidifying [ __ ] this one was you know

um you don't even need a herum when you

have that many tentacles no you don't

man no you don't and it's just he's so

sweet like he's just so attentive and

taking care of her and like really good

after care and stuff and

um he can feel so he's thinking about it

the next day he can feel the mate bond

in his chest and he wants to like tug on

it to make sure she's okay but he's like

that's kind of

intrusive I need to leave her

alone so um

they bang on his desk at some

point um she shows up to have lunch with

him at at work and he [ __ ] her on his

desk of course um and then um Blair

shows up and Daniel's back in DC still

not a threat to her okay and um Elias is

like oh she really doesn't need to stay

with me if I see he's back in DC see

he's

like so he just asks her what she needs

instead of saying like are you going to

go back to your apartment or whatever

he's just like what do you need how can

I support you so she decides it's too

insane for him to just for her to just

move in with him so she goes back to um

her

apartment and she doesn't want all the

security and she's like gearing up to

have an argument with him and he's like

okay that's totally okay I understand

but I would like to put a security

system on your apartment and she's like

okay and totally avoid a very valid

compromise yeah totally avoiding any

kind of concern there's lots of talk

about they they're banging again um

because once they start they just go I

literally was just thinking that I like

it feels like like once the floodgates

opened on the tentacles

it yes that's exactly correct and um she

while they're banging she's like can you

shift without water and he's like have I

spoiled you with my crack and [ __ ]

little siren it's like God Bless

America

um anyway um he tells her that he

doesn't want anything to change that he

wants to be with her as much as she's

willing um and his home is always open

to her anytime um and she is not still

not willing to move in with him but

she's very grateful for his support So

then again over the next week or so they

settle into a routine of seeing each

other most nights um and Nora is working

to close so a little later than usual

and she's walking to the bus

stop and um Daniel shows up out of

nowhere I was waiting yeah he's here we

knew he was going to stay in DC Forever

nope he's here um and we go to then

Elias's point of view and he doesn't

feel right he's like something's not

right but I don't know what it

is um like feeling her ones through his

mate Bond honestly just that like gut

right and they haven't fully mated yet

so it's like just the like inklings of

it um but he's also tendrils tend too

close to

tentacles um but it's also cold and dark

and Nora is walking to the bus stop

alone and so he's trying to convince

himself not to call her like a crazy

person and then he's like no that's

that's okay like I'm allowed to call her

to check in so he calls no answer and

he's like maybe she's on the phone or

maybe she's working later than she

thought it's all good no need to panic

so then he calls again a few minutes

later and still no answer and that bad

feeling just gets worse and he's like

[ __ ] it I'm just going to go check on

her

so we're back to Norah's point of view

she is trying to tell Daniel that

there's nothing for them to talk about

she's just trying to walk away from him

but he grabs her arm and flashes a gun

and is like we're going to go get a

drink okay she's like okie dokie like

here we

go um and she realizes that she made the

wrong choice like to walk with him at

all and so um you never go to a never go

to a secondary location you never go to

a secondary location he destroys her

phone when he uh hears it ringing mhm

and then he does pull her into a bar um

and then back to Elias he can't find her

so he calls Blair um and he Taps into

the mating Bond while he's waiting for

Blair to figure out what's going

on and uh he feels that going to her

apartment is the wrong direction and so

he tries to like like follow the mate

Bond um Daniel

is a dick and he's really trying to just

intimidate

her um but um she doesn't really feel

intimidated but he does have a gun and

she's like yeah he is insane enough to

use it and potentially hurt other people

too so she just tries to play along um

he's trying to get in her head um

about you know I heard you have a mate

do you really think he's coming for you

like kind of mocking her kind of thing

and um I mean is his plan to kill her or

get her back well that's the really

confusing part I don't think he knows

because she reaches for the bond in her

chest and um that she can feel in her

chest and

um so she's also tugging back she

doesn't know like what it is really or

if it's going to work but she's she's

tugging back and he tells her Daniel

tells her they're going back to DC and

he has a plane waiting and starts

dragging her out of the bar and she

realizes that if he gets in the car it's

game over like if he doesn't outright

kill her he takes her to a third

location right if we go to a third

location we're really Fu guys I really

think the Third location is bad news

third one is the problem way to trust

your gut

Nora so um she is freaking out that

maybe he's going to kill her so she

starts struggling and then um she hears

Elias my notes say big

mad um he distracts Daniel um long

enough to get him to let her go and he

starts waving the gun around and um

Blair shows up up and it turns out Blair

is a dragon so Blair shows up in Dragon

form and it very quickly deals with

Daniel not an

issue Daniel's gun may have been

intimidating right till a dragon the

dragon showed up and Daniel very quickly

realized he ain't [ __ ] right you bought

a brought a gun to a dragon fight like

no no no kiddo so um Elias like sweeps

Norah up and his instincts are telling

him to go [ __ ] up Daniel to like really

just lay into him but Nora is his

priority and so he takes care of her

first so um she's got bruises all over

her um and he's just doing his best to

take care of her and um as she's calming

down the cops show up um to question

her Elias tries to get them to leave her

alone but Nora is like this is I just

need to get this over with yeah I just

need to get it done so Elias waits for

her at the police station and he is just

panicking um and you know doesn't know

if she's okay or what's going on

um and then finally he's like she

finally comes out and he's just like

holding her and then he's like can I can

I drive you home cuz he's worried that

like she blames him for Daniel finding

her and he's like maybe this undid all

the progress that we made um I while I

have thoroughly enjoyed him this whole

book I do feel like we've made it to a

point where I'm like I need you to lean

into it a little bit more yeah like

believe in the me that believes in you

my guy yeah cuz she's like what are you

talking about and he's like well you

wanted you wanted space and I didn't

want to just like assume you wanted to

come back to my place um and she's like

no we're we're going to go back to your

place and we're going to talk and he's

like [ __ ] like this isn't going to be a

good talk Elias it's G to be fine my my

guy it is going to be fine so

um yeah he's trying to control his

Kracken instincts of course to like you

know hold her close and never let her go

and

um she is feeling more of his emotions

now that she's touched the bond so she

can feel how guilty he is

um and so they have a talk about where

they are in their relationship and she

says um she's still not ready to just

move in like we're still going to take

things at a more normal Pace but like I

want to be with you like this doesn't

change anything

um but she's like my lease is up in a

couple of months we can talk about it

then and

um yeah and he's like that sounds great

I love that for us let's do it they take

a bath

together um wait that's the end of the

book just about so he's super excited he

declares his love she

reciprocates and then tentacles yes Nora

eight months

later oh they're doing a role play and

she is in a rowboat in the sound and

Elias is somewhere stalking her in the

sound in his fully shifted Kraken and he

finally shows himself and drags her boat

to a cave and then he destroys the boat

and she calls out to him and declares

that he is her mate um and he half

shifts and comes for her this is their

official mating um so he lays his claim

my notes say DP with

tentacles she's back in

school what Daniel is going to

trial they live together happily ever

after that's what my notes

say we never got more details about the

egg sack we never got more never got

more details about the egg sack but she

yeah that's it so they I guess they just

dated like normal people for eight

months and then she was like let's do it

and then they made it and that's it

that's the

end I love that they didn't make

like immediately yeah I really

appreciate the more

realistic

Pace mhm instead of just

like seeing them one time like yeah

being like I saw you across the bar and

now you're mine

forever who cares if you don't want to

be right I I didn't ask you I called

dibs and here we are yeah um so yeah

that's

it I enjoyed

that is your camera open yeah I don't

know how I did that I didn't notice

until you just said something I just L

down like wait what it's it's done now

I'll just flip it

over that as I you know as I said

earlier the title Norris Kraken

yeah really expected it to be a little

darker mhm

was it was more of like a a cozy read

than I anticipated it was it like I said

it was wholesome in a weird

way and as as wholesome as DP tentacles

can

be yeah I heard it as I said it it was

too late um but you know exactly what I

mean though like their relationship

Dynamic was more wholesome than I

expected um one 1,000% and it was a nice

like change up from the usual faded mate

where it's like immediately together he

doesn't give a [ __ ] about what she

thinks or wants and it's just like

you're my mate sucks to suck she'll come

around right no it was very much like

literally truly she is the priority

whatever she needs um and I really

appreciated that yeah so how many

tentacles are you rating it well I'm

going to go out of 10 since that was our

first assumption or that the first

answer I found on the internet before I

found several other answers that told me

that might not be the correct answer but

for the sake of needing to to have a

number to rate I'm still going to go

with seven or seven I'm going to go with

10 I think I'm I was thinking of giving

it seven

mhm because yeah it was nice like it was

a nice read I listen C's get degrees 70%

yeah and I did read the next one and I

enjoyed it um yeah were there tentacles

in the next one no it was about Blair so

it was a

dragon yeah it was a

dragon fire

breathing you can't tell me the sex got

normal no no I don't

remember I don't remember if there was

fire breathing in the sex

Hannah I don't care if there's actual

fire breathing I just need to know what

made the sex the sex with the dragon I

really don't remember I really don't

remember it's easy with a kraken it's

like obviously it's going to be tentacle

[ __ ] but like with a dragon it's harder

to

know it's harder to know what the weird

thing is going to be yeah well I guess

if you too would like to know what the

weird dragon sex is in the second

one yeah check it out check it out

report back

mhh but yeah I'm comfortable with a

seven out of 10 it was a unique take on

a faded mate and it was a a nice warm

comfy story with

tentacles it's just a good Comfort read

with tentacles yeah if that's what

you're into more power to you

with

tentacle just start adding it to

everything now like in bed on a a

fortune cookie yeah my day was really

good with tentacles and emails hey

dinner with

tentacles there's a lot of intrigue

there it does open up more

conversation really fixated on the

dragon sex now and it's not even the

book we read okay so seven out of 10

tentacles um let us know how many

tentacles you would rate this if if your

Kraken does not have 10 and has like

seven or eight there were varied numbers

sure one said up to eight right um and

we also don't know if that includes the

mating

tentacle touche

yeah so give us your thoughts do we have

any marine

biologists who can who are experts in

Kracken did you ever ride that roller

coaster at SeaWorld oh yeah oh yeah I so

we took a middle school field trip that

was like our seventh grade field trip I

rode Kraken seven times in a row without

getting off yep like did not even it was

like a Tuesday school trip right like

there was no one in line you did not

even have to get off to get back in the

line you could just stay buckled in yep

that was also my first migraine I

imagine it was it was not

a it was fun but like seven times in a

row yeah uh definitely leaves your neck

a little jostled a little bit although

any roller coaster seven times in a row

yeah is probably going to leave some to

be desired yeah but on that note let us

know how many tentacles you would rate

this let us know if you've ridden the

roller coaster at SeaWorld yeah you know

let us know your thoughts on manatees oh

[ __ ] yeah manatees [ __ ] yeah manatees

and on that note goodbye smls see you

next

time well that's it for this week's muts

[ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it

sure was great for us if you're digging

what we're doing it would mean a lot if

you'd take a minute to rate and review

the show wherever you're listening right

now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend

us an ear we love you we appreciate you

you and we'll see you next week stay

[Music]

smudy