Smut Club

well

hello all you beautiful people

you know what time it is

ladies and gents

guys and dolls and everyone in between

gather round

get you something real nice to sip on

and comfy to slip on

because it's time

for smut club

here's your hosts chelsea and hannah

hello and welcome to smut club hey

everybody hope you're having a good day

um we're here to talk about smutty books

we sure are i'm hannah i'm chelsea we

are both therapists and we

read a lot of smut

um well so

like we're

we're still in january in 2022 when

we're recording this episode um

the end it's like

february starts next week how many books

have you already read this year and how

many of them were smut

i mean all of them were smart valid um

31 books this year holy [ __ ] hannah

you like you have read a book a day and

we

over a book a day

to be totally fair

to be totally fair

i was already like three quarters of the

way through three books at the start um

that'll do it yeah you know so that

really put me over the top well i mean i

thought i was doing pretty good and i'm

at 19 books for the year that is pretty

good what did you set for your reading

goal on goodreads 300.

so here's the thing i've read over 200

the past two years but i also don't like

to put that pressure on myself because

i'm like i feel like then when you're

like oh you're behind schedule then i

get stressed out and feel like i need to

read quicker and then i'm like not

actually reading for enjoyment and i'm

just reading because i'm stressed out

and have this goal to meet yep

so last year i had set my goal is 52

books and so i was like okay a book a

week feels very reasonable and then i

read like 204 books

and so this year i set my goal to 150

books knowing that i would probably

still go over but just like

not stressing myself out about it in the

process

so

well i set my goal for 200 books last

year and then wound up reading like

330 something so i was like let's just

go with 300. if i don't meet it that's

fine that's still a [ __ ] ton of books

right

and i like honestly my husband says that

all the time i'm like i'm behind on

books and he's like

the [ __ ] you mean you're behind on books

behind who right especially like when i

like i have to keep it in perspective

like i look at my friends reading

challenges on goodreads and i'm like

cool they said 12 books they were

shooting for one a month and i'm sitting

here and i'm like i'm i've only read 19

books in january and my husband's like

you need to get the [ __ ] over yourself

because probably this is not a problem

so that said today we are going to

review

neighbors

by stylo phantom phantom bless you

yeah honestly i've always read her last

name i'd love to know how to i mean the

e on the end has always made me say

fantome um

it's a fun name could be fantomy

oh fancy i know fantomy

i i don't think i'm gonna say fantomy

like that's not what i'm gonna default

to sure

to be fair i don't really know if i need

to mention it again but probably not

stylo

phantom

so that feels like i don't know i don't

remember the word for it but you know

where

you have a bunch of letters and then you

make up words from those letters anagram

maybe it feels like one of those like

her name is actually like stacy

fit

phipps or something i know none of those

letters don't really match but we can

definitely

have a dedicated episode where we look

into this and see some more okay um all

right so this is the book is neighbors

and this is a love triangle book we

haven't we haven't had a fun love

triangle yet okay also it's kind of a

love triangle it's kind of not a love

triangle you'll understand as we go

through this journey so

the three main characters we need to

familiarize ourselves with you have

katya

she's the main love interest she's 23

she's a professional baker because you

know

she's like i went to culinary school and

like then i like had this internship and

now i'm like in charge of their bakery

and

i

am like a small celebrity baker in san

francisco and there's like at least a

several month waiting list to get my

baked goods

not a euphemism but it also can be

sure we'll we'll get there then we have

liam he also goes by eden his last name

is edenhof and people call him eden well

that's really confusing right so you

have liam

katya calls him liam but everyone else

pretty much calls him edam

and then you have

woofrickstone

we all know y'all i struggle saying woof

i really love wool frick

wool frick stone i nailed it and if you

want me to say it that slowly every time

i i think i can properly pronounce it oh

just okay so say wool

whoa

well

y'all legitimately so i have to drive a

little over an hour to get to chelsea's

house and the whole way here i was

trying to think of ways to coach sure to

say the word wolf so that we could get

through this without me dying i think

we're just having to commit to me saying

woof or you're we're gonna have to

commit to me going

wool every time i say it and that's

going to be a process so

woof

rick

woofrick stone carry um

he's a real estate mogul

so you have katya she's a professional

baker woof is a

real estate mogul i forgot to mention

liam is a sex club owner naturally um

it's called the garden

his last name is eden

you see where we were all so clever um

and we will learn more about them as we

go so

we we open up and katy is like i'm

single i need to make a dating profile

i'm sad i don't know i just like need

some

whatever is happening in my life so she

like makes a dating profile on eros the

dating site

and

it's kind of like is this what my life

has come to

and mind you like i feel like this this

book

i i need to check the publication date

but i feel like it was

pretty

as common as online dating is now and

like the way we all like view online

dating now like hell i met my husband on

bumble and i feel like

that's a common tale these days like no

one yeah it doesn't feel like it's like

a a spicy detail anymore when you're

like oh i'm at my i met my husband or i

met my partner online you're just like

oh yeah like everyone meets online these

days we're in a [ __ ] pandemic how

else are you going to meet people to be

fair i married my husband several years

before the pandemic so that's not why we

met on bumble but we did still meet on a

dating app

i met my husband in rehab because we

were both working there well you were

both working there but lest we forget

that your husband thought you were a

patient he did he did it was my first

day and i didn't know where to go

and he asked me who my therapist was and

i was like i am one i am the therapist

and he was like oh you're the new girl

and that is how i met my husband

what a love story i know it's really

magical for everybody okay so

you all met and it was magical and you

weren't a patient because that would

have been

a lot of ethical issues

a lot of them yes correct yes so

katya makes this profile and then it's

like what does my life come to shuts her

computer her roommate is like i'm going

to be helpful and so she opens her

computer and updates her dating profile

to be like i love strip aerobics and

pole dancing and like really makes her

sound like more of a party girl i mean

she is is any of that true is she in

dystrophics no she wears a lot of chinos

and donna karen chinos a 23 year old

girl wearing chinos and like white ivory

cashmere sweaters is kind of like she's

like very like buttoned up yes very

buttoned up very conservative so

this profile is not congruent with who

she is as a human

so

liam

sees her profile and he's like oh

i live in their the her apartment

building there there are two apartment

buildings that are identical

and she lives in one he lives in the

other and he's seen her in the lobby and

he's like holy [ __ ] that's my neighbor

and he's sitting there with his business

partner

richard stone who's like

no wait richard richard mason is the

business partner so he's sitting there

with richard mason who he calls ricky

throughout the book

and he's like holy [ __ ] look at this

girl look how hot she is and he's like

yeah cool fine like whatever she's a hot

girl like

tell me if it's worth it i don't give a

damn it doesn't yeah yes

so

liam then like waits until he sees katya

in the lobby and like asks her out and

is like oh like i saw your dating

profile and like honestly i probably

like i thought you were cute but i

wouldn't have asked you out before then

because like you just kind of seem

buttoned up with your like pearls and

cardigans and

she knows sure so then she's like

what do you mean like don't

underestimate me so like yes like let's

go out on a date even though like at the

same time she's like i don't do strip

aerobics i could kill my roommate for

updating my profile but then like every

time he's like yeah i wasn't gonna ask

you out because like you don't seem like

the kind of girl who's into the [ __ ] i'm

into she's like don't underestimate me

and so she agrees to go out with him

and then when she's getting ready for

the date her roommate is straight up

like is that what you're wearing and she

goes it's donna karen so like that's our

energy yikes so she goes and meets liam

in the lobby and he's like i own a club

and so she's like okay like i'll go to

the i like i want to see your club and

she's like is it like a book club is it

like a dancing club is it like a

discotheque like what's happening at

this club and he's like

i own a sex club

oh my stars right and she's like and

he's like is that is that too much for

you

and she's like don't underestimate me so

i just want to

i just want to be clear chelsea has some

notes for this book open on the table

right now in front of her

and in all

no no no you'll ruin it you can't get

there yet i can't well i'm already there

you're already there but just get no one

else okay well so they like

she goes to the sex club with liam and

then like pretty much every few minutes

he's like we get it like you proved it

like you're you're cooler than like i

gave you credit for like you don't have

to commit to this and she's like

what do you mean commit to this i just

like want to experience all these things

and so then

he's like showing her around his sex

club and they start like going at it in

one of the booths and he's like why

don't we go into my office and i can

like have someone bring us drinks and

she's like no i want to stay out on the

floor here

and so

then

she's like he's stripping her and he

like pulls the partitions closed and the

sex booth of the sex club also for the

record

they're only allowed it's a it's a

multi-floor club it's two floors they're

only allowed to bring one alcoholic

beverage down from the upper floor so

there's only water

served in the sex club so everyone can

make

appropriate decisions right which is is

accurate yes it is accurate and i

actually really appreciated that but

like he pulls out he's like oh here's

like my my bottle of tequila like i keep

down here that's mine's like but like he

does ask he's like so like how much have

you had to drink like on a scale of one

to ten how do you feel she's like four

i'm like pleasantly tipsy and he's like

okay so like you aren't gonna like

regret all of this tomorrow or like not

remember any of it right well that's

nice right so like there is like i'm

like there is some consent conversations

which i really appreciate

we love consent we do love consent so

they're going at it they bone in this

booth and then like somehow her ass

gets involved

hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up

i could have worded that better but i

also could have worded it worse

that's not an accident

i mean so i feel like every

every girl who has hooked up with a guy

in college has experienced them telling

you that it's an accident it's not a

[ __ ] accident so no but she like her

like i forget if like

he mentioned her ass or if like she

mentioned her ass but like at some point

they were like oh like that'd be like a

future date and she's like you don't

know unless you try and like so then

suddenly this girl

who's a prude and has she's like i've

had sex with two men and sexual

experiences with four men total in my

life um

is getting railed in the ass

by liam

edenhoff

the garden of eden at the sex club

called the garden

and that is what is in all caps in

chelsea's notes it just says anal with

an exclamation point in all caps in in

all caps i felt like it was important

and i needed to remember to mention it

and it takes up like three lines of text

like it's okay it's a dotted page

it is not like three full lines it is

three full lines those would be some

small ass lines that would be smaller

than college print paper

oh well then it's fine carry on it's

like two and a half lines of college

print that just says anal with a giant

exclamation point okay so there is that

so then like the next morning

katya wakes up at liam's place and like

they like went back to his place kept

[ __ ]

she is

hungover still a little drunk whatever

he like kisses her goodbye like it's

like let's like we'll i'll see you when

i see you kind of kind of energy

right like let's do this again kiss kiss

bye yes yeah and so then like the next

scene is kind of like the next few

scenes are like

katya kind of processing and like liam

processings like tattoos kind of like

talking to a roommate and being like oh

like what what's am i into this like i

can't believe like this is so out of

character for me but i also was really

into it so like is this really out of

character for me do i need new clothes

that aren't on a karen to represent who

i am as a human

and then like liam is talking to ricky

and like they're like how did the date

go

and liam's like yeah like i think i like

want to see her again

obviously one would hope

right like

well and there's also this whole dynamic

where like

he will keep making comments and she's

like stop underestimating me but then

like she'll like make slightly

self-deprecating comments and he's like

stop putting yourself down i'm like but

also like you kind of keep

unintentionally putting her down by like

all of these assumptions you've made

about her as a human without

conversation but that's you know

a tangent i just like

i don't know i felt kind of strongly

about it when i was reading it because

like there's really she's like stop

underestimating me and he's like i

couldn't believe how like

effortlessly sexy she was

but then like she'll make comments and

then like so are you under are you only

underestimating her sexually

like

i think that's what i was really trying

to figure out but that's that's not

really gonna we aren't gonna do the full

review on that thought process

so

then

katya is telling her roommate about the

sexual experience with liam over the

phone while she's at work at the bakery

sure that is the place to talk about

having accidental anal in a sex club

yes your first time having anal

on like a kind of date with a stranger

like it really just seemed like a dare

more than a date

so while she's working while katy is

working the bakery like the

the door chime sounds and then in walks

in

her childhood neighbor

woof

woof rick stone

rick

stone

nailed that [ __ ] you really did i'm

really proud of you thank you i really

appreciate that you're welcome so he

walks in but it's kind of like

he's like on his phone and not fully

paying attention and like she sees him

and it's like holy [ __ ] this is like my

childhood neighbor who like i had a

crush on like i used to like creep out

my window when he was swimming in his

pool because i thought he was like the

hot older guy and he's like six years

older than her

but like he's not fully engaged when

he's there and then he's like oh like i

like need to

place an order and she's like cool well

like we have a wait list so

if it's like my like my waitlist is at

least three months out and he's like

wait what like well i guess our event is

actually in five months so that's fine

but like kind of seemed like surprised

by that

but like doesn't really acknowledge that

he knows her at all like she recognizes

him and then it's like getting more and

more frustrated because he's kind of

being like flippant and dismissive

so

woof

because that's his name

wolf like they like place the order they

leave

and then his assistant walks back in

with like a business card and it's like

be here at 7pm and she's like what and

like is this about the order and the

assistant was like no this isn't about

the cupcakes

meet him here at 7pm and so she's like

okay why wouldn't i

so um because of all the true crime

documentaries that have ever been

created that's why right i'm like

i really she's a little too trusting

yeah

i don't think it's related to her donna

care and apparel i don't know if they're

not related though

so that's what i'm considering fair

point

i'm sure it's no surprise she shows up

to the bar at 7 pm to see him and like

once again like he's like kind of

engaged with her and it's like he'll

like put his hand on her thigh but then

like he's like on his phone and like

kind of looking around like seems bored

when she's talking and like not really

into the date

honestly he's like loki a dick

throughout the date but she's just like

i could feel my panties getting wet like

she's like they're just like this like

tension building between us and i'm like

really because like you

it seems like he's like

not that into it even though he's the

one instigating all of this so it's a

little bit confusing

it sounds like some like low-key

gaslighting

like a little like it's not i wouldn't

say it's like bully romance at all but

it's like definitely this like weird

dichotomy where you're like

he's just a dick to you why are you so

into this

so then he

drives her home and just like drops her

off and she's like okay well like what

what the [ __ ] was that because she's

like why are we here what are we doing

and he's like well like this is

most people would call this a date when

they like eat food and she's like i

thought this was about a bakery order

like you didn't even acknowledge that

you knew me

how was i supposed to know that this was

a date

so he like drops her off very quickly

and then she's like telling her roommate

about it and then suddenly there's a

knock on her door and like woof is there

and like kisses her

and they're like okay

let's go like

how how awesome is that but then she's

like oh no there's two guys what am i

doing

and so then the next day she's

leaving her apartment and down in the

lobby liam is waiting there

and liam has been waiting for her for a

while because he never got her phone

number whoops that feels like an

oversight on his part so much so and

then he's like

let's go for tacos

and

he's like really into tacos like liam's

whole energy he's obviously really into

tacos among other things

i see what you did there thank you thank

you very much well so like

here's like liam's energy throughout the

entire book is like

so we also find out he owns the

apartment buildings that they live in

like they have worse they'd previously

been owned by his aunt or someone and

like they were like left to him and he

is a twin brother or some [ __ ] his

brother is a doctor and isn't in the

picture

well not until future books there is a

book about his twin brother

um

so

yeah

like he like owns these buildings that

he kind of like happened into then like

had money then like he'd been working at

the sex club then he wanted to own it so

he got like ricky to invest and so then

he has a business partner but like

his entire like energy the entire time

is like 32 year old

slacker

surfer bro who just wants to eat tacos

and get stoned every day like not really

aspiring too much happens to have a ton

of money because he inherited this and

owns the sex club exactly right right

right

so liam asks her out for tacos and then

wolf is like

hey

you're like we're going out again and

like meet me on saturday and then she's

like oh no what do i do like i said yes

to both of them in my head i'm like you

could say no to one of them

or you could say yes to both of them

babe like you have not committed to

either one exactly i'm like i really

feel like you're putting a lot of

pressure on yourself you like if you

don't want to to say yes to both of them

don't and if you do

don't put this pressure on yourself

you don't owe either of them anything

like you are in a relationship with

either of them sure you had anal in the

sex club the first time you met liam you

don't owe him a relationship you don't

owe anyone anything so your wild oats

babe like do your thing

so while she's hanging out with liam on

their like taco date she like says like

hey like i'm seeing someone else like i

just like wanted to let you know like

it's it's super new

we've only gone out like

once

we're going out again but like it's

super new and then like he's like cool

so what do you want to bone and she's

like well like i like feel like

conflicted about this because

there's this other guy and then he's

like i'll keep it strictly vag

you know the true gentleman

that he is

so thoughtful yeah he's like i'll keep a

strictly badge like we don't need to go

anal again

i'm like so then it's fine what a

generous offer

but he seems like a generous lover to be

totally honest right yeah yeah so she's

like thanks but i i i think we'll pass

this time

so then she goes out on the date

with with woof

and like once again he's like he's kind

of a dick like it feels like he's like

nugging her throughout this date like

i'm kind of like

what is this like passionate romantic

tension between y'all that like

you like he just kind of seems mean yeah

but you also seem into it so

live your life i am not here to judge

people that's degradation kink you know

what i'm saying like if you're into that

you're into that but like that needs to

be

a conversation

and i think that's like the thing about

a lot of these books it's like it's not

a full

conversation and they do even say like

katya mentions in this book like later

on she's like

oh liam always like

is hesitant to touch me and you like

whenever like he's about to do something

like he like makes eye contact with me

like asking for permission and she's

like wolf just kind of like takes what

like he's like

what is

his

and so yeah like there's like kind of

that relationship

and so like she mentions that like

there's another guy as well that she's

been sleeping with because she's trying

to be upfront with both of them

and then

honestly i don't really fully remember

all of the details she

he like makes a comment and then like

she goes into the bathroom and then

she's like i'm like i want him and i

just i'm feeling the sexual tension with

him so she takes off her panties in the

bathroom

okay yep and then she walks out of the

bathroom and like hands him her panties

and is like these are yours like i'm i'm

into this and so that's one way to do it

but also it's it's like the restaurant

in the

ground floor of the office building he

owns that his offices are in like

getting there was very little effort for

him not that it needs to be effort i

just wanted to make note of that like he

just went downstairs from his office

yes but he tells like the

gm of the restaurant like hey we need

the room for 10 minutes

for 10 minutes

yeah i specifically remember noting for

10 minutes we need the room for 10

minutes i'm like well that's a little

bit of an insult

well yeah i'm like okay so

so we've already established that

apparently liam is a generous lover and

wolf here is like give me a cool tin

he's

to his credit he's still generous

just more efficient

well when i think of hot sweaty sex i

think of efficiency so

well yeah because it's like a high

intensity workout you get that heart

rate up quickly

we're into hiit thank you

so

then he's like all your like she like

had given her her panties and then she's

like he's like all of your panties

belong to me like you belong like just

very like

we're a thing now and like your mind

whenever it is yeah like very very

possessive wasn't like making comments

like

would would the other like would he have

[ __ ] you on the table like making

comments of that capacity where are you

liam would have he owns a sex club like

calm down wolf yes he would have thank

you for asking but i don't think that's

the answer you wanted in this situation

so you set yourself up for some

disappointment ultimately

so

then

liam gives after after this date i don't

really remember exactly when in the

timeline liam gives katya a key to the

roof of her buildings that way like she

can go up and like hang out in stargaze

and like it's their place like

no one else has access to it and so it's

their special place for just the two of

them to hang out and so she's like oh

like how sweet and like wonderful is

this and then he's also like hey because

it was in your bio i went ahead and did

you a solid and signed you up for some

for a strip aerobics class

um

candy with an i is the instructor

and yes

she did bone liam historically sure um

because when she first moved to san fran

um

she

frequented the sex club before she found

out that stripping was her real passion

in life good for her yes so now she's a

strip aerobics instructor

and liam has signed katya up for this

class with his former lover with his

former lover but that's a bold move but

like

everyone is kind of liam's former lover

is his energy

good for him right like like their first

date walking through the sex club like

everyone was like eden how you doing man

like why haven't you called me like

everyone is

knows him in a sexual capacity

so

after the like he also he doesn't attend

the the class he's just i signed you up

for this and then drops her off the

class and he's like i'll pick you up

afterwards

so after the strip aerobics class she's

in the shower cleaning herself up

because she's super sweaty and he like

shows up in the women's

locker room of course he does and then

i'm sure we're all surprised to hear

they bone in the shower i'm shocked by

that there is shower sex underlined with

an exploration point you're not allowed

to see my notes anymore if you're gonna

ruin the surprises forever you already

said it i did you're right you did try

and tell people about anal too soon i

did i'm sorry

it won't happen again i just got excited

so yes they have shower sex and like

she's completely naked and then like

he's like she's like haha it was so

funny because his clothes were

completely wet because his jeans were

just around his ankles this whole time

and then we took the city bus back to

our apartments and i'm like

hold up hold up hold up the jeans around

the ankles just reminds me of a a male

toddler using the bathroom like trying

to pee

like that's not like around his ass i

get you know like just low enough but

around the ankles as well it was

aggressive enough sex that they they

shimmied down from his ass to his ankles

they shimmied because of the zhuzh i get

of

the shower sex and the strip aerobics

so

yes

like we kind of continue on this on this

journey

katy is like hanging out with woof and

like they're going on like lunch dates

and like having fun very proper in her

donna karen yes and then like she's like

hanging out like bringing tacos to liam

and like they have the other like they

have their late nights she sure is

bringing tacos to liam she is definitely

well she's brought liam her her tacos

twice

are they carne asada

fish

oh my gosh

she brought her fish tacos

i hate this euphemism

so much

i'm so sorry also all i can think of is

like the intro to like colt 45. yes yes

good morning ladies with the fish market

okay so she like she katya brings

brings liam tacos not her fish

it's just like real tacos

like actual taco actual tacos um to him

at work and like and surprises him with

with lunch and then like his business

partner ricky's in the bathrooms like

she still hasn't met ricky

but like he's like oh like do you want

to meet him and she's like oh no it's

fine like i didn't mean to interrupt and

so they kind of leave and like

cute dates continue like so liam is way

more like the planner and wolf is way

more of like the i'm just gonna show up

at your place and be like why wouldn't

we be hanging out like

right i'm free

you go with me so why wouldn't we be

hanging out like she shows up at her

house and like for like chinese takeout

and like she gives them a manicure so

there are these like really sweet date

moments between them

but i also feel like they weren't

highlighted and represented enough in

the book so most of their interactions

that we read about are all like

he's kind of a little bit of a douche

and like kind of an [ __ ] but then

they're like more like these montagey

interactions where you're like oh like i

see

where they're

developing their friendship and their

relationship well but it doesn't seem

like the intention is to be sweet it

seems like the intention is like the way

you're describing it

it's not that he's like you know what i

had some time and i was thinking about

you so i picked up chinese so i could

come over to your house it was like

i'm free and kind of horny and was like

obviously katie's gonna be free i think

it's somewhere between the two like i

don't think it's like a i'm

i have nothing to do when i'm horny so

why wouldn't i be doing this right i

think it's like he does legitimately

like her but just like the way he like

processes and handles things and like

you learn more about like he had a lot

of like familial pressures on him

growing up and like his parents had a

nasty divorce and he had to like help

support his mom and like sisters and at

one point in the book even says he's

like they feel more like my daughters

than my sisters because there's like a

eight to ten year age difference between

them like he was financially supporting

them for a lot of this

um but yeah so like it just kind of

seems like he's it's more of like

just like neighborhood and claim it and

just more of like

yeah i want to see her so i'm going to

show up and obviously we're going to

hang out feels like more of the energy

than like i'm horny and have nothing to

do if that difference makes sense yeah

it does yes it does so we like we go on

this montage of like the she's she keeps

hanging out with both of them

i mean is she banging both of them well

that's what does that say she has

started to turn liam down and is like i

feel weird like i don't really like

think i like want to do anything else

with you i like

i don't feel like ethically i feel

like not comfortable with the both of

you and like i i'm developing stronger

feelings for him so i feel guilty like

more of that

sort of energy

i'm i'm apparently team liam because i

did not like that

i could tell you're like you're like

[ __ ]

actually don't [ __ ] him that's the

problem [ __ ] liam instead

apparently yes

so then like wolf and and katya have a

date planned and like he has to work

late

so he's like texting he's like just

coming up to my office instead so like

his assistant like lets her in then he

like

it's still like another hour or two and

it's just more of this thing where like

katya was like oh if he was gonna be

late she's like i mean like i went when

he said go but like i would have liked

to go home if we weren't gonna but she's

like yeah

really likes him and it just kind of

like goes with whatever he says

and then

in his like office and

on the conference table in the

conference room somewhere in his office

she like gives them a strip tease this

night and then they like bone all over

the office well good because she learned

all of these skills from the strip

aerobics class that liam signed her up

for thanks liam right like he's really

coming in clutch for her sexual

experiences with another man he is

coming in what a game but not her clutch

not her clutch not her fish taco

not her prison purse

oh

no

that's what happens when you work in

community mental health too long

you refer to a vagina as a prison purse

sure do

don't miss those days or those

i'm smells telling that for what it is

oh god you can't unsmell it you guys

any of it so like she gives him the

striptease and then like the next couple

scenes it's like

katya gets home and her roommate is

there and like in the middle of the day

and she realizes like her roommate is

unemployed and like lost her job but has

been like lying about it this whole time

and like felt bad and then katy's like

oh my gosh like i'm such a shitty best

friend and roommate cause i didn't even

notice because i've been so like

preoccupied with these bros so like

let's drink let's have a great time

let's like have a good night at night

yes and then she's like oh can you bake

me that cake and then katy is like no

because the [ __ ] oven in our

apartment is still broken and i keep

running our management company and i've

even mentioned it to liam and like

nothing's happening and she's just like

annoyed that she can't bake her roommate

a cake

because she's a baker she's a

professional baker with a waitlist who

has reached so you go to your bakery

dumbass honestly i was like you couldn't

go pick something up

this is literally what you do right like

i feel like you could have been more

resourceful than you chose to be

but instead you just chose to like get

[ __ ] faced with your roommate and that's

also a fine life choice you you couldn't

have cake you had alcohol

so like

we say as sipping our bota box

our

dark malbec

ripe rich and smooth

nighthawk black

argentina um bota box we are not

sponsored by buddha box but it'd be a

lot cooler if we were

as we sit here and continue to drink

from the box that also like y'all aren't

here with us but we have this box like

within like arm's reach so we can refill

on the go as needed throughout our

storytelling it is pretty uh vital to

our storytelling at this juncture

it really is

like

like alcohol isn't a necessity

but it does make this more fun

by a lot especially if you listen to the

master of salt and bones episode you

needed a lot of alcohol you needed more

alcohol than we had recording it

precisely and i know that because

halfway through recording it i went i

wish i had another alcohol

i wish i had another alcohol not another

drink another alcohol

i mean

chelsea tomato tomato

tomato tomato well done so

very quick tangent very early on dating

my husband he had text me and was trying

to say tomato tomato but because of the

same smelling i just read the text as

tomato tomato and then i was so confused

like why did he just disney tomato

tomato

he was saying tomato tomato

i get it now but yes if you ever see it

in in print it never makes sense unless

they add an h in the second one oh i

have seen that that did help but if you

just see tomato tomato no one reads that

and it's like tomato tomato i knew what

they meant no you read it as tomato

tomato and then you're confused

so apparently it worked for him so right

all right going back carrying um katya

is getting [ __ ] faced with her roommate

tori because tori lost her job

so she's trying to make her feel better

and she like calls wolf incessantly and

he like he's like you better be like

picks up like after like the seventh

time he's like you better be dying like

what the [ __ ] why do you keep calling me

and she's trash and she's like i i miss

you and like i'm well i'm going to see

my family and her family was like two

hours away

and carmel carmel carmel i don't know

how they pronounce it in california i

know different cities pronounce that

city differently so

carmel feels the most biblical

which isn't really the vibe of this book

and caramel feels the most delicious so

so

dealer's choice on how to proceed

but she's like she's like you won't even

see me for five days because i'm going

home to see my family but she's like

trash when she's like calling him so

then like the next day liam stops by her

place and is just like checking on her

and hanging out and she's packing

frantically because she's like i need to

i need to get ready i'm running late to

to head back to my hometown i imagine

she's a bit hungover yes um she's

hungover and just kind of frantically

doing all this she does ask liam to hire

her best friend tori at the sex club

because tori has a lot of hospitality

experience

and if there's one thing that's really

important at a sex club it is

hospitality well also i'm just gonna say

like

she ends up thriving and loving her job

there

but what really made me laugh was she

was like he was like well like i'll

start her like upstairs like we don't

start like on like the actual club floor

like you started like the bar upstairs

and then tori in the future is like

please i was up there for five minutes

but once it was clear like i have i'm

like a great waitress with a great rack

and i'm like good with a till they move

me downstairs and i'm like good with it

i was like to hand out water what

because that's all that's happening

downstairs you don't need a waitress

downstairs unless you're handing out

water and condoms and lube

which they have in each of the table

booths so you shouldn't need a waitress

for that right right unless

i i mean could you

could you order off the menu if you

wanted a bug plug or something like what

i don't remember a menu in the book but

that would be a great addition to the

sex club and honestly tori thrives so

much she ends up like becoming the gm

so like if anyone created a menu that

had butt plugs on it it would be tori

bringing that to the table

really creating her own job

good for her yes we love tori she's a

great hype woman she's a great best

friend

she has a future book

plot twist it's the book about liam's

twin yes

and that one is a journey holy [ __ ] i

forgot all the like i'm pretty like

there's like some human trafficking in

that one it's a it's a journey we'll

review that at a future date so

then

liam leaves

katy is trying to get everything ready

and then wolf suddenly like shows up at

her door and it's like

she's like i like i don't have time for

this like i'm like i need to like get a

car because i forgot to reserve a car

for my two-hour drive

and he's like you don't need a car i'm

driving you

and she's like what do you mean and he's

like no like i'm

i'm going home to see my family as well

so i told him i would drive you

and she's like okay and like they get

home and then like his mom has told

katya's mom like yeah like he decided he

was coming home after she announced that

like she was visiting

so like that's kind of sweet in its own

right like there's not a lot of

communication there but then like in the

future she's like why did you like come

come with me and he's like because five

days is a long time and you're like oh

like there's like these like

kind of sweet moments but the look on

hannah's face is like these are not

sweet and she's still very like it she's

very clearly team liam i don't like it

but like

well and i think if i'm remembering

correctly whoops mom isn't even in town

the first night like he's like oh i'm

gonna go home and visit my family but

like she's not even like his mom's not

even there yet so

like katya and her mom were gonna go out

to a nice dinner and he's like oh no

like that what that restaurant won't do

i'm gonna like cancel like that

reservation and give us a reservation at

this place that's like way nicer and way

better like the best place in town

and like

trying in his own right

and then she like sees him swimming from

her bedroom window and then it's like oh

this is like all of my childhood

fantasies when i was like watching him

swim and thought he was super hot but

like he was 18 when i was 12. so like

not a thing weird yeah so just like when

it's a crush that kind of energy and so

she's like yeah like all of this like

all of my childhood

dreams could be fulfilled here it's like

she goes and joins him in the pool

but there's just like a lot of like

is it is it like this with the other guy

like is he like this with you just in a

way where you're like

so it seemed like you were okay with

there being two dudes but like the way

you're acting

makes it feel like we're not actually

okay

with there being two dudes

and then kashia's mom is so excited that

she's home and because they live in like

the very rich burbs stop reading my

notes hannah i see you reading my notes

and laughing we'll get there i don't

even know which one you're reading i'm

hiding my notes from you at this point

hannah notes can no longer see my notes

okay she's laughing at all of them

they're amazing

i might take pictures of them in the

future

please do so we can post them on social

media later because they're fantastic

well so katya's mom decides to host a

barbecue because they're very popular in

their neighborhood and everyone is

excited to be invited to this barbecue

and because katy is home why wouldn't we

so then like

woof's mom helps host it because they're

neighbors like people are going like

between their yards but then katya gets

like all kinds of jealous because she

sees wolf like with his hand like with

his like arm around like this blonde

girl and she's like who the [ __ ] is this

hoe like not all about this life and

then i'm like you have also been [ __ ]

liam so let's keep this in perspective

but she like

is like i'm not about this like kind of

keeps drinking and then decides to like

go to bed early

and then liam sneaks in through her

bedroom window hmm it's very high school

right and he's like

oh like fulfilling all of your like

high school fantasies kind of energy

then like

they bone

in her childhood bedroom which like is a

weird energy to me yeah to be fair my

parents

have moved so often that was never an

option for me to bone in my childhood

bedroom

but i don't think i'd be into it yeah

right no

so

they bone and there's like she like she

wakes up and she's like oh like he's not

here and then like he was

downstairs making coffee and like talk

to her mom it's like her mom knows he

slept over and then like awkward yes but

it was also a big thing because he never

invites women to stay the night at his

apartment he's only had one woman ever

like stay the night and so

katya never stays stays the night they

never sleep together and so it was a

really big deal because he stayed and

slept over after he snuck into her

childhood bedroom

so she's like oh wow like what's

happening here like this is really

progressing and he like made coffee and

talked to my mom and so on and so forth

and then like they

they're hanging out she's drinking her

coffee and she like tells wolf like that

she has

substantial feelings for him and it's

like i'm like nervous because like i

think i like actually really do like you

and i don't really know what to do with

that

and he's like

okay thanks for telling me

and like it doesn't doesn't really

reciprocate

kind of as is his way and then they take

a nap and they they like fall asleep

and then when she wakes up he's sitting

there and like clearly looks like

he has some inner turmoil going on and

he's like i have a business deal in san

francisco i have to go back

and she's like oh okay oh yeah like no

that that's fine like no problem and

he's like i'll send a car for you she's

like no like don't worry about it like i

can get back myself and he's like i'll

send a [ __ ] car for you that's what i

said i was gonna do and she's like okay

fine i'll take care of all my car or

whatever

um so

like it kind of leaves awkward and

clumsy between them he leaves

and then she just like doesn't hear from

him

and so she's like hanging out with her

mom trying to stay busy they're like

hanging out and baking and having fun

she's like told her mom who's always

been a more conservative woman that

she's like seeing two men and her mom

was like oddly like

accepting of the idea and so then she's

like oh well like maybe like i don't

need to be as like uptight as i've

always been and like i've put this on

myself

so

she takes the car that he got

back

to

san francisco but like still doesn't

really like doesn't hear from him

there's no interaction or conversation

between them

then

liam decides to be really sweet because

he's liam and that's what he does

and

he takes like a kiddie pool and like

brings it up on the roof and so then

they can like sit

up on the roof and like put their feet

in the pool and hang out

and have this great time hashtag team

liam

yes so like that's happening while

oh if it's like ghosting her yeah

so has she tried to reach out to him at

this point and he's just not responding

yeah she definitely like gets trashed

and like

is very upset about all of this like

he's not responding to her i'm sensing a

pattern right and letting trash in

reaching out to wool

well twice

but feels like a pattern one more time

and it's a pattern

and also for the length of a book i

guess twice can still be a pattern so

like she's like puking everywhere and

like liam comforts her and is like the

sweet stand-up guy that like liam is and

so

um

i want to make sure i'm not getting out

of order here

yes so

then katya feels really bad that like

liam took care of her while she was like

puking crying over another dude so

she

like goes and was like talking with liam

and liam's like

i need to tell katya that i think i'm in

love with her because like i'm gonna

like shoot my shot i'm like i'm just

gonna go for it and then

like right as he's about to say it his

business partner calls ricky calls and

like they get into a fight and so katy

is like all right like i'm i'm kind of

leaving like you have whatever

conversation you need

so

then

we moved to a scene where katya is at a

wedding venue with one of her

baking clients

what are they called is there a more

official name than that i don't know

customers yeah like

a customer who had hired katya to make

her wedding cake and this is like a

super affluent customer

she and it's like a customer like you're

rooting for for i think her name is

lauren she has like

four kids and her husband had died and

so she'd been like working alone and

then met

this man who had like obscene amounts of

money and just like worships the [ __ ]

out of her so like i don't know if they

have a book i would totally read it if

they did i'm like what uh what a fun

little i'm like i'm really rooting for

the side character here

so they're at the venue talking about

the cake and talking about like where it

will go and all of those details

katya still has not heard from wolf

through all of this

so

i'm sure we're all surprised that wolf

walks in to this venue while she's

working while she's working with some

business associates

and like they're doing their thing and

she's doing hers and she sees him as

like what in the actual [ __ ]

oh my stars

tell me because i think i know

so

she goes and is like hey can we

like can we talk like it's like trying

to engage with him and he's just like

a

straight up

dick the entire time is he the crew

he's not the groom okay he i really

thought he was gonna be the girl no i

really thought he was gonna be there

that would have been the oh my god oh no

the coup de gras right no we are rooting

for lauren the side character bride she

is not with wolf

but like he's a dick and like she's like

you like what happened like where did

you go and he's like i don't you want

from me like i met your mother i was

like i've been kind to you i drove you

home i let you [ __ ] some other guy while

we like this whole like i let you

yeah i let you [ __ ] some other guy like

you were the doll girl next door like

go so like essentially is like calling

her like a naive [ __ ]

for all of this and she's like naive

[ __ ] feels like an oxymoron though

you know and yet still applicable to

katya

because like she is very naive

well if you guys can hear brandon he

doesn't like the sound outside brandon

is chelsea's yes brandon is my dog he

he hears some sort of sound that he is

not chill with right now and keeps

barking a little bit

um so if you hear it

sorry i don't

he's he's going to town he thinks he's a

lot bigger than he is as he sits here he

also

has an anxiety marking problem so he

wears diapers so like i don't know

watching a dog with a diaper bark at

something doesn't really feel as

intimidating as he's going for and to be

fair he is larger than most pugs he has

a bigger body he is a bigger bodied pug

i actually i actually remember thinking

that when we went to pick him up and he

was like the cutest little like chunk

and i was a junk but i remember seeing

his parents and being like oh they're

like

bigger pugs like he's not gonna be a

dainty buddy he's gonna be

a chunky boy and that's boy

b-o-i-e-i-i-i

it sure is right chunky boy

yikes please don't ever do that again i

can't guarantee i won't but i also

didn't enjoy it when i did it

so

he's like i let you [ __ ] some other guy

you're like you were the dull girl next

door like did you really think you were

special did you think you were my

girlfriend and she gets so pissed she

takes the cake from the cake tasting and

throws it at him good for her and then

they get in a full cake fight in front

of his like like he was there with some

clients who were looking to buy this

venue

she's there with lauren and they're in a

full-on

cake fight so to be clear in chelsea's

notes and says can't find underlined

with an exclamation point but i swear to

christ i thought it said cockfight

which is why i was laughing it was a

flavor of the cake

what was your wedding cake flavor

coffee

i have a lot of questions of what that

flavor would be

chicken ours our wedding cake was

chocolate orange oh i like it i love

chocolate orange i make a really

excellent chocolate orange brownie

actually oh

i accept

you did an offer just letting you know

whenever the time presents itself i

accept noted

um so

yes there's this whole cake fight it

like they get separated

and then like wolf leaves and then like

it does cut to a scene where wolf is

like [ __ ] man that got really out of

hand i feel really bad for all the [ __ ]

i did but like

what can i do now i'm like that's like

very like this like self-deprecating

tone where he's like

i'm like bad news and i knew like she

would ultimately leave me so like i

needed to like make she deserves better

yes like i need to like make her leave

me before

before she left herself and then i was

sad and alone so like i feel better

about how this played out this way right

ugh so

um then she's like crying on on the roof

afterwards and like liam comes up and

like checks on her and is like yeah tori

called me because your boss called your

roommate because like the then you

called your boss because you got an a

cake fight

in their venue big yikes right

and so

she's just sitting there and she's like

he was so mean to me like i can't

believe these the things that he said

like i'm i'm not gonna waste another

thought on like on wolfrickstone that

feels like a lie

you are you are correct

absolutely you are correct

so

like liam like doesn't really respond

outside of just like sitting there and

like being encouraging and like being

supportive

and then

he asks her out on a date because he's

like i like i really like you i know

this is like a weird time i know this is

a weird place i really think i could be

good for you like

will you please give me a chance

and so she says yes to going out on this

date with liam even though like she's

like i feel like i'm gonna be

disappointed and i don't like it

just wait

you might still be disappointed but but

we're just gonna prolong the

disappointment

and then also like her boss calls her

and is like you work so hard and you've

never taken a break so why don't you

take a paid sabbatical for a little

while because the cake fight indicates

that you need a [ __ ] moment also

what a generous bakery i don't know if

i've ever heard of like a baker getting

a sabbatical i mean it is california

you right

the 23 year old baker working so i'm

like yes she's

she's put in so many years to this

to she's worked she needs a sabbatical

at 23 but that's just me being an

[ __ ]

so she goes on this date with liam

i'm like bless it it's it's so painful

to read because he's so sweet he cares

so much like

and she's just like not into it and like

he like tries to like like kiss her at

one point and she's like like made me

nauseous and just like

is really like i'm like struggling and

like is like i'm sorry like this this

date isn't ending with a happy ending

like this date is ending when we get

back to our apartment and he's like

the sweet angel baby he is and it's like

super understanding and realistic about

it so i'm really sad so she is like i

need to just like go and sort my

thoughts out and so she just like leaves

the apartment building like hops on a

train and just like isn't really

thinking and just like

wanders and wanders and then

gets off the train and walks and walks

and then it's like i'm gonna burn it

down i've never seen before luckily it's

a very affluent part of town it's a very

safe part of town but she like walks and

is like

at this park and there's a fountain and

does she get in the fountain i don't

remember she gets wet at some point and

does she sure she does

that she does

um yeah but i like i don't remember if

she fell into the fountain or

if she thought it looked nice so she

stepped into the fountain to cool off

whatever but so she's like in this park

and just like lost to her thoughts and

being like oh no what am i gonna do

and then suddenly she hears someone like

what the [ __ ] are you doing here and lo

and behold like

woof is there [ __ ] that guy right and so

he's like what in the actual like why

are you here

like

and she's like why are you here and he's

like well this is where i live and she's

like i didn't [ __ ] know that because

you never invited me to your apartment

so like how would i know you lived on

this side of town and then like he

starts being kind of flirty and he's

like just like come back to my apartment

with me like we'll talk about this and

he's like no i'm not going anywhere with

you you dick and then like it like

escalates and he's like no like you are

coming back with me and so

consent matters

to everyone except wolf well but like he

gets very like

like no

you're gonna come home with me because

i'm who you belong to like just this

very like

weird she well and like her dress got

wet and so then he like gives her his

dress shirt to put over it and then he's

like very much just like i don't want

anyone seeing what's mine and she's like

what do you mean what's yours because

like

you told me i was a naive [ __ ] and the

dull girl next door

and threw cake at me and he's like yeah

we were both at fault and like the

situation she's like i could have pissed

on the floor of that venue and i would

still be a less fault than for how you

handled that situation good for her

right and so then he's like

[ __ ] this like throws her over his

shoulder and it's like you're coming

back to my apartment with me that's very

caveman and we're not into it right but

then like but as he's doing this he's

making like there's this like tension

this push and pull where he's like i'm

like i'm no good for you i'm a bad man

and just like she's like what

and so

then they have a heart to heart and they

like start to have some like real

breakthrough conversations because she's

realizing like oh no he just like did

that to self-sabotage because he thinks

he's not good for me and so like she's

like very willing to just like

readily accept him back and because he's

definitely gonna be disappointed so well

and so like

when they were in the park he was like i

have like a 8 a.m conference call

tomorrow morning i can't be out all

night just come the [ __ ] home with me

it's like they stay up late all night

talking and like engaging like

reconnecting and like really clearing

the air between them and then when she

wakes up he's there

like walks in with coffee for her and

she's like i thought you had a

conference call and he's like no i'm

where i need to be like this is more

important

and so

they like have this very long reunion

it's

they decide that like they're together

and moving forward and

so then

i don't know if it's that day or the

next day but at some point he's like hey

like i gotta go

i have a business meeting i need to make

it to but like

it's just like a investment i need to

clear up and then i'll be back like this

shouldn't take long it'll only be a

couple hours cool cool he's like will

you be here when i get home and she's

like yep absolutely i'm not going

anywhere

and so then while he's gone she starts

to feel really guilty about liam and so

she's like i need to go talk to liam and

clear the air and just like explain and

like not leave him out of no men's line

like i owe him that some closure exactly

for my poor sweet precious liam

true

and so

katya it's like all right well

i i can go to the garden and like have

this conversation with

with liam before wolf would even get

back so i'm gonna go run and do that

really fast oh no and

is he at the garden

yes it's not

i don't i don't think this is where you

think it's going though oh no

um this is about the part where

if you don't want

the ending of this book to be ruined for

you you should probably

stop listening now and just go

experience it for yourself um

but if you don't mind it being ruined

i'm going to continue so

she goes

and katya

gets down

onto the basement level where his

offices are and then she is

through his office door

she is like hearing a conversation and

then realizes it's woof and liam

in the same room talking and like being

like i got there first like talking

about this competition like they were

trading stories

and so then you hear me like well fine

like all if you don't tell her i will

and so then like katie's like sitting

outside the door like what the [ __ ] like

trying to process what all has been

happening

and

um

liam calls her to be like because he'd

been like if you don't tell her i will

and so then her phone starts ringing and

like they hear it and then she opens the

door she's like i would have answered

but like

i'm here

and then she realized

so

um wolfrick

stone

goes under the name richard

mason

wolfrick

ricky

ricky

stone

mason

yep we see and so

they were business partners

all along

and

that's terrible so when she dropped

tacos off and his business partner was

in the bathroom

it was

who was there

knowing who she was and then she's

realizing like they're like no it's like

well no it started

when it started it was just funny

because like he saw you on the dating

site and then like we were kind of

trading stories and then she's like oh

she was like oh so

i [ __ ]

liam on the club floor and we had anal

then the next day woof showed up to her

bakery and like starts putting together

all of these pieces

and

then she also finds out

that

um

masonry management who's a subsidiary of

one of wolf's companies is her property

management company so then she's pissed

that her oven still hasn't been

this entire time jesus christ yes like

she runs out and is like i need to get

the [ __ ] out of here and like they

follow her and they're like we'll take

you we're so sorry like like like as

she's like so this is what you did like

when you say it that way it sounds

really bad so when i say what you did it

sounds like yes but like and they're

like well at some point like stop

becoming a game and it like stopped

becoming fun and we like both actually

had feelings for you and like it became

very real and she's like

[ __ ] both of you

i'm not into this and then she's like

i'm i'm out of here and so liam is like

i'll take you home and the wolf is like

i'll drive you and she's like both of

you need to get the [ __ ] away from me

i'm not going anywhere with you so then

jan the bouncer

shows up

jam

jan

j hey n not jam

but honestly that's an even better name

so jan the bouncer shows up and he's

like you all need to get the [ __ ] away

from her wouldn't it be yawn if it's a

man

only if he's swedish

i've never thought about it of all of

the details that is the least important

i feel like you're getting caught up on

the wrong details

so yawn shows up

and is like

you all need to get the [ __ ] away from

her and please tell me she ends up with

yawn

no she does not but liam's like i'm your

boss and he's like i don't give a [ __ ]

like you're a deplorable human being and

if i see you talk to her again or like

treat her like this like

like i'm throwing bows or to quote

hannah you're gonna catch these hands

i haven't heard you say it in a while so

just need to bring it full circle thank

you um it's like jan takes her home

drops her off with her roommate she's

still on the sabbatical from the bakery

at this point

isn't paid it is a page maker he

sabbatical i'm in the wrong business

right

i definitely

have underestimated the baking industry

if i knew i got a paid sabbatical

after a cake fight

just saying not a [ __ ] fight they're

different and not a [ __ ] fight a cake

fight

so

john

drops her off with her roommate make

sure she's okay

and then

katya like wakes up in the middle of the

night

and is like [ __ ] all this [ __ ] and so

she like puts on all this makeup and

puts on like these like [ __ ] clothes

um or just more revealing than donna

karen if you will which is really any

clothes right that's a low bar

right at one point she was like

someone's like are you wearing that

she's like it's j crew

i'm like

girl have some self-respect no offense

to j.crew or donna karen you all do

great work for more specific audiences

we don't live like i'm currently wearing

an alice cooper t-shirt where he is

biting the head off a bird and has blood

dripping out of his mouth so donna karen

is not my aesthetic

in all fairness no it is not

so she takes these like new sexy photos

and then

uploads them and reactivates her arrows

dating profile good for her and is like

i'm taking control of my life

and then

her roommate walks out i was like

everything okay she's like yeah let's go

back to bed

and that's how the book ends on that

cliffhanger are you [ __ ] kidding me i

am not [ __ ] kidding you that is the

end of neighbors

i hate that

when will you stop recording will you

please tell me who she ends up with i

will thank you yes i will i will tell

you or i could just review

the second book which i think is called

neighborhood

there's neighbors neighborhood um

there's four so the first two are

clearing up this whole love triangle

um and then the third book is about

the one she doesn't end up with and like

their new love connection okay

who is woof's assistant is the

main like interesting interest in that

one and then the fourth book is about

liam's twin and the roommate tori cool

with the human trafficking or whatever

the [ __ ] happens

drug running i don't fully remember

something of that capacity that's a

that's a review for a future time so yes

that is the cliffhanger of neighbors i

can't believe you just did that the

ultimate love triangle that honestly

doesn't really feel like a love triangle

like it's that's why i said it's kind of

love triangle and it's kind of not

because there are two dudes involved but

she's clearly like

leaning towards woof the entire time

it's like oh like there's a connection

there like she views like liam as more

of a best friend yeah i hate that but

then ultimately both of them betrayed

her

yes they did but like when you start to

think through like the conversation

where liam was like i knew like she'd

like ultimately leave me and i was or

like the conversation with wolf where he

was like i knew like she'd ultimately

leave me and like was i'm no good for

her so i just wanted to pull the plug

before she could

and like that whole conversation and

energy

because then she's like no like i like i

won't leave you i'll fight for you and

then like all this [ __ ] happens and then

i'm like oh damn girl you played

yourself

she did she did

so

yeah we'll have to review

the next book at a future date and time

if i'm being completely honest

i feel like the second book could have

been a novella instead of like a full

book

um

so there is that where i was kind of

like cool this didn't

the second book feels like messier yeah

like we didn't have to do so much yes

exactly yeah

but

um so yes it starts with a

dating profile where she's wearing her

very conservative clothing and ends up

having anal in a sex club and then it

ends with her finding out two dudes have

been playing her this entire time who

are both super into her

but neither of them have been honest

and into her in different ways clearly

yes like they have she has a very

different relationship with liam than

she has

for sure and i think that's a hard thing

is like oh it's not it's not the same

relationship

but like

liam is just like very lovable

yeah and wolf is very like hard yeah

but then also

like

the entire book kind of feels like it's

leaning towards like she's like oh i

just have this like innate connection

with wolf yes that's how you say it

wolf

yes so she has like this full

relationship

with him but like when like

so and i forgot to mention when she's

overhearing her conversation liam is

like i saw her first

and

woof is like

she was my neighbor in childhood so

technically you didn't and then when her

phone starts ringing like she opens the

door and she's like

technically wolf is right we've been

neighbors since i was five so he has he

would have dibs like just this like

really like shitty like like

yes i don't i don't like that like i

don't know like women are not for dibs

dude like i once had a dude i like had

all right i had this ex-boyfriend

we we broke up

and then like stayed in that like weird

best friendship where like

we weren't dating but then like no one

else

could date either of us because we were

still always together but we weren't a

couple and so at one point someone had

been like oh yeah well like you and

whoever and i was like i don't like we

are nothing anymore they're like what

you're not

and i'm like no

and this fool literally went dibs to my

face i was like that is not how this

works

if you are interested that is not how we

communicate that you guys did like no

consent matters

consent matters you can't just call dibs

i didn't think i had to say that out

loud in 2022. jesus christ if ever there

was a time you needed to say it out loud

it probably is 20 22.

oh god am i laughing or crying oh that's

fair so unfortunately this i feel like

this one ended with a little bit more

of a downer in this cliffhanger um but

we can circle back

in the future if you guys would like to

know what happens if you're like no

everyone in this book sucks

i'm also not offended and we don't have

to we don't have to venture back here

yeah your feedback matters let us know

guys your feedback matters your feelings

matter you matter

so on that note we love you

thanks for listening

um

i guess really fast we didn't

we didn't rate this one

oh

so how many cupcakes

what flavor are the cupcakes

oh no in the book they were angel food

cupcakes well i was going to say what

are [ __ ] flavored

okay

i'm going to rate this book

six and a half out of ten

no not and a half i take back my half

six six out of ten

[ __ ] flavored cupcakes

a solid sixty percent what kind of

frosting

oh

like what kind of what kind of frosting

goes with [ __ ]

cream cheese

i hated everything about that holy [ __ ]

i hate you right now

chocolate frosting is ever better

there's no wind here you wrote anal with

an underline and an exclamation point it

can't be chocolate frozen

um

it also

yeah you know it can't be a lot of

things

it can't be vanilla for obvious reasons

but do we want cream cheese no so what

we don't have vanilla or chocolate or

cream cheese strawberry

maybe a nice meringue

we just put a meringue on top

we'll go with the meringue tell me about

the [ __ ] flavored cupcakes with meringue

it's six out of ten is it

i'm so ready to be done with

five and a half five and a half [ __ ]

flavored cupcakes with mares

yo my cheeks hurt so bad i can't and on

that note we love you thank you for

being here thank you for joining us for

this um what what frosting flavor would

you choose

we love you guys so much thank you and

good night good night