Smut Club

well hello All You Beautiful

[Music]

People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts Chelsey and

[Applause]

Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut

club I'm Hannah and I am Chelsea and

this is the show where we um sometimes

daydrink sometimes I just drink hot tea

um because hydration is important yep

and we review romance novels that we

read um some leave more to be desired

than others um but you know each of them

are their own unique journey and we

respect that yep and we are going to

take you on that Journey with us thanks

for joining us on that Journey guys okay

Hannah what book are we doing today we

are doing neon Gods by Katie Roberts

Katie with two e right fanc two e

yes so um I read this book a while ago

and I remember I liked it when I read it

and then on the reread I was like um

questions so I'm really interested to

see like well okay I feel like a long

time ago I saw a Tik Tok where someone

had been like I'm breaking

down um like sex amount of sex in the

book per author right um and like Katie

Roberts was like by and far above like

had the most sex mhm per book um which I

do think the the downfall of that can

sometimes be we do need plot to to carry

that and I actually haven't read young

Gods I've read um like the villain I've

read a few the villain we did Desperate

Measures and the next one after that I'd

read as well but I haven't read this one

actually I think this might be the only

Katie Roberts I've read oh okay um but

so feel like I just hear everyone talk

about her all the time yeah this one

didn't feel as like sex heavy as other

that I've read but it still was

like the premise is awesome and like

there's some really cool potential so

it's Hades and pany we have a Hades and

panie ret I love a good Greek mythology

so but that's part of the issue is like

it's we'll just get into it okay so my

notes the way that I did it I put

Olympus breakdown at the top because in

the first chapter our pany is at a party

and she's thinking about the politics

and the history of Olympus so rather

than like try to put the breakdown in

between the couple of plot points in the

first chapter I just broke it out so we

can do that ahead of time bless you for

your ministry well it was just so

confusing when I was trying to write it

I was like so our Olympus breakdown is

ruled by a group that they call the

13 so the 13 are essentially all the uh

Gods right um of Greek mythology however

they are not gods they are human

people okay who have these roles right I

see where we've shifted right so there

are um there is no Hades at this point

um so like the belief in Olympus it it's

split between upper City and lower City

the belief in the upper City city is

that he's just gone and the lower city

is just like having a great time nobody

from the upper City ever goes there so

okay so he the assumption is that Haiti

is he running the lower he's dead that's

dead dead not just like okay he's dead

dead

so Zeus rules the

13 um and his role is a legacy and

inherited so Poseidon and Hades are Al

also inherited which is why there's no

Hades the last Hades and his Heir were

killed so Zeus and Poseidon are the only

ones the others are all either elected

or appointed okay so it's this weird

political thing happening so Pan's

mother is demer and she was elected to

the role and her responsibility is like

food and trade essentially um and it's

super vicious there's lots of discussion

of like gossip mag magzines and websites

this is modern day contemporary kind of

technology so not that different from

our current political structure correct

it's very like is it did you get the

energy that it's like meant to kind of

be a commentary

or I once went um to see a traveling

Broadway production of Cinderella and

was very surprised that they had um

changed the storyline slightly to be a

very like to be their political or their

commentary on our current political

system um which I wasn't ready for cuz I

was like I'm just going to see I know

this story it's Cinderella on Broadway

[ __ ] and then I got there and I was

like oh this is not what I expected like

still very pleasant but yeah I do feel

like there's sometimes that happens with

books where you're like oh I just

thought we were just going to kind of

casually be reading this whatever but

there's um the new Christen Ashley book

um in the River Rain series definitely

like they have some like political

commentary on like fat shaming and Theo

like so it was it was interesting cuz I

was not going into it looking for that

or prepared for it right it's very much

like this idea that the ruling class

celebrities like we don't really know

them they are putting on a front for

whatever gain um and they don't have any

privacy and they're also all out for

themselves like they're supposed to be

there for the people and whatever but

it's really about their own personal

power um and so Zeus has had three haras

so there is no current Hera all three of

his wives have died

mysteriously um seems accurate for Zeus

correct so now getting into the plot

that we have that background um so panie

and her sister psyche are at a party um

and and they're kind of like hiding out

they don't really want any part of any

of what's going on but their mom

essentially dragged them into this life

because she chose to seek power and be

elected um so panie keeps thinking about

I only have to do this for three more

months because once she turns 25 she has

access to her trust fund and she's

planning to leave Olympus

so it's really weird though because

she's talking about I want to go to

Berkeley I want to go to California and

it's like where are you like where where

is Olympus like is the rest of the world

aware of Olympus like is it Olympia

that's in Washington no I mean the

actual City not in the book like what's

the name of the it is Olympia okay

Washington yeah yeah yeah cuz I was like

I don't think

no that's always interesting when and

you're like I just kind of like in my

head feel like I always end up making

the city there in like a Chicago or a

Boston like no matter if you're telling

me you're trying to get to California

like I don't know why but I just always

kind of end up picturing their cities

somewhere throughout the Northeast right

I don't what whatever ex but exactly

because it's like wait a minute like

where where the hell are you and it just

gets more confusing later but it's just

casually like I'm going to go to

Berkeley for my PhD in what who knows I

already have my Master's in what we

never find out we like no so she's not

working no okay like her job is to be

Demeter's daughter so um her mom finds

her and like grabs her and like drags

her through the party and she's like

what the hell is going on but she's like

the sunshine happy daughter and so she

like puts on the the front and she goes

up and um um Zeus is super creepy and

like grabs her hand and won't let go and

is like an announcement to make everyone

and proposes to her in front of

everybody oh [ __ ] apparently her mom

made a deal with

Zeus for her that her daughter could be

the fourth wife to mysteriously

disappear correct without telling her or

talking to her or warning her or

anything and so she's

like oh

[ __ ] because it's in front of like all

of Olympus the Press is there so she's

like okay she's like I'm going to die

and someone who's that powerful exactly

you're like you can't embarrass someone

that

powerful they will not it won't end well

if you do no yeah oh poor girl yeah her

mom is brutal I'm I'm assuming that

continues throughout yeah okay yeah so

like she's starting to hyperventilate

like she's like flipping out so her

sister is like oh hey I need to go to

the bathroom like come with me ha so

they go outside and she's like I'm going

to vomit like this is really really bad

so she asked her sister to go inside and

grab her purse and tell her mom that

she's sick and she needs to go home and

her sister is like we're g to figure

this out like I don't know what we're

going to do she has three other sisters

but the one is the only one at this

party she like we're going to figure

this out it's going to be okay like I've

got you so she leaves her and goes

inside and then panie is like I can't go

home and I'm pretty sure that if I go

back in that building I won't come back

out and she realizes like these thoughts

are extreme and not necessarily rational

but they're also not completely

irrational and so she's just freaking

out like in the conversation of is she

catastroph iing well maybe a little but

also this situation isn't great no and

your fears aren't entirely unfounded

correct got it so she takes off she just

books it and she's in an evening gown

it's the middle of winter and in high

heels and she just books it through the

city with no purse no purse no phone no

money her sister went to get those yep

so she just takes off so is

there like girl wait for your phone at

least well so she was like so a lot of

the like central theme Here is that

she's wanting to protect her sisters so

she doesn't want any blowback to come on

them so she knows if her sisters help

her get away that they will then have

consequences well that's thoughtful it

is yeah it is we haven't thought through

this plan but we have at least

considered the impact on others

thoughtful human yes

if

not um thriving at self-preservation

correct we love our

sisters I I can get behind that um so

you'd do the same for your sisters I

think I would yeah we're pretty tight

it's

true my sister I would do the same for

her I think I also have a very like kind

of like your older sister who's been

married for so long that you're like

it's I can't really imagine life without

their partner because their partner's

been around for so much of my life right

but yeah I do it for her yeah well I'm

just thinking like I just officiated my

sister's wedding this past weekend my

younger sister's wedding and um it went

really well but I was super anxious

about it but it turned out really well

can I tell you something funny actually

that happened please always so did I

tell you about how she requested a

Mariah Carey quote in the you didn't but

I am 0% surprised yeah so I asked what

she wanted in the ceremony and her

requirements were a gardening

theme Danny

DeVito a SpongeBob the musical quote

which she sent me and a Mariah Carey

quote of my

choosing of your choosing of my

choosing big Mariah Carey girl over here

so last Christmas we were sitting around

and it was totally silent like after

dinner you know everybody's just like

digesting in my their own business we're

tired we've been here for a while we're

feeling cozy getting weing down yeah and

they had on some like Christmas music

station and Mariah Carey came on and my

dad just goes I don't care for her just

really so ever since then we just will

randomly say I really don't care for

Mariah Carey and so that that was the

reest

quest which if you know my dad that's

very classically my father did your dad

catch the Mariah Carey quote oh he did

because did you say to quote the great

Mariah Carey literally yes I said to

quote the wise and kind Mariah

Carey after every storm if you look hard

enough a rainbow will appear and then I

pause and I went get it and I made eye

contact with my sister's wife's brother

who the whole weekend just kept going

because gay over and over

again and he like thumbs uped

me get

it so you're like I managed to troll my

dad and get a gay joke in there I did I

nailed it it was really good but like

also for the record the joke was would

not be offensive to Hannah's sister who

was getting married this is not like a

like making a like gay joke in poor

taste for I I sent her what I was going

to say including the get it and pause

for dramatic effect pause for

laugh I sent her everything I was going

to say and she approved it so

yes yeah yeah so we had a good time um

but I would I would do a lot I would do

a lot for either one of them at my

wedding my cousin officiated

it and she had several people come up to

her after saying we were so nervous when

we heard a woman was doing this and you

really exceeded our

expectations yeah well I had people

comment on how I did a really great job

and they were really worried that I was

going to like turn it into a standup

routine and I was

like for the record I'm not trying to

like [ __ ] up my sister's wedding right

I'm like literally I was like I wore all

black and tried to be as like non in

anybody's face as possible because I

didn't want it to be about me and like

all that [ __ ] you know and so I was like

okay like what do you what do you think

of me that's not the compliment you

think it is right like thank you yeah I

think we had really low expectations for

you right and you did so much better

than we thought you'd do we thought this

was going to be like a Seinfeld cold

open but instead you know but my dad you

did it you actually married your sister

off right in a way that was both funny

and moving I'm like oh but my dad was

like oh I forgot I was going to bring

paddles I was like what the hell are you

talking about paddles he was like with

numbers on them so we could hold them up

to rate you during the cereem

where are the napkins I can make some

now yes Dad that's the way this the

ceremon is going to go off without a

hitch you raiding my big sister was

like she's actually really nervous can

you not do that right now bless it he

came over and he was like does me

messing with you help or hurt I was like

I don't know just keep messing with me I

guess I I really appreciate that he

asked that me too yeah I was like like I

don't know but just keep doing it cuz

it's our norm and I think if you stop it

would be weird yeah if you stop it'll

make a yeah just don't draw attention to

it we'll get through this nobody

panic okay anyway I could keep talking

about that we love we love our sisters

is the moral of the story and so does

panie

so um like I said she books it and she

realizes that she's being followed by

two

men as she's like moving through the

city she's like wandering she doesn't

know where she's going and she's like um

this is bad yeah so she's like well the

city is not exactly like the safest ever

so she doesn't know who these guys are

they just kind of appear and are

following her so it's not like she's

like oh those are Zeus's bodyguards no

she doesn't recognize them yeah but they

are hurting her towards the river so the

river sticks that separates the upper

City from the lower City so she gets to

the

bridge and they are like pause question

with the separation between the

cities is it like one of those like more

like mythical like there's like a hard

SE like where she's like never been to

the lower City before okay yeah which is

also what's confusing because she gets

to the river and she's like at the

bridge and the guys are like Zeus would

like a word and then she's like a [ __ ]

so it is his guys this is worse than if

it was just like some Scoundrels from

the street you know I was hoping someone

wanted to mug me and sexually assault me

right now I have to have a conversation

with Zeus that would be better so she

runs or starts gives us perspective

right with like how bad she really

doesn't want any part of this situation

yes so she runs across the

bridge which apparently you can't do

unless you have specific permission so

there's some kind of magical mythical

mystical

barrier that prevents people from going

from the upper City to the lower City

without permission oh do you think if

she passed through the magical barrier

would spit her at at you see

Berkeley if only no she feels like her

Skin's being peeled off like as she's

going through it she's like this is

excruciating this is really awful now I

feel bad B for making jokes about you're

like no Chelsea didn't spit her out of

college she felt like she was dying

literally wanted to die so um there are

like Wards or something but it's never

explained where did these come from who

maintains them how does magic exist

nobody else in this universe has magic

so none of it is ever addressed and the

gods aren't actually Gods but there is

Magic right I'm loving this chaos it it

is just very much chaotic um we've had

several requests for this book and I

know you'd read it before and it's been

on my uh TBR for a while but real hyped

that we're here well and that's what I'm

saying like I really liked it the first

time I read it and I guess I just

skipped over all these questions and so

when I went back to outline it I was

like wait a minute how does any of this

work that is something that I've

actually noticed when like reviewing

books and trying to choose what to

outline there's a lot of books that

you're just like we're we all know we're

suspending belief to read this but then

upon reread you're

like really yeah yeah I I looked over a

lot like most things like I've looked

over most things so so she's running

across and there's a man standing at the

end of the bridge watching her like

struggle

across so

now we switch to Hades perspective so

Hades is watching her struggle across um

he has no idea what's going on doesn't

know who she is doesn't know how she got

here um but he's like I am going to take

advantage of this situation so he's just

looking at her and she's like basically

begging him for help and he's like you

have to get to me run like tells her to

like run and so she gets to him she's

like hobbling at this point cuz she lost

her shoes somewhere her feet are all

messed up like she's it's been a rough

night and so he oh not on the bridge I

forgot she had a long journey to get to

the bridge I thought I was like while

her skin was being pulled her body her

shoes disappeared on the bridge for a

second and then I the words also prevent

you from having

shoes why not add that yeah and you're

like her feet are all messed up and I

was like that's a weird

feature oh cuz she's been walking so

long yeah and had been in heels and is

now barefoot walking through the city

correct

correct so he like grabs her by the

throat right and um the guy's chasing

her why did you say right like you're

like he grabs her by the throat right

and I'm like should I assume he would

grab her by the throat why did he grab

her by the throat okay okay so in my

brain it tracked

because he's taking advantage of the

situation so he recognizes that these

are Zeus's men he has like like uh files

on all the people who work for Zeus so

he recognized them and he's like I don't

know who this chick is but Zeus wants

her so I'm going to take advantage of

this so not just taking advantage as far

as like there's a pretty girl struggling

towards me but actually had some context

of like I don't know who she is but

she's clearly affiliated with Zeus in

some regard and I'm going to take

advantage of that right I hate Zeus so

that's the whole deal so he's holding

her by the throat and the guys can't

cross so we learn that there's a treaty

in place that says that if Zeus or any

of his people or Hades and any of his

people cross the bridge that they are

declaring war on the other and

so

question bring

it there there's a treaty in place that

Hades can't cross but they all thought

Hades has been dead this whole time yeah

so

so we'll get there okay we will so she

is like shivering all over she's clearly

very injured it's the middle of winter

she's out here without a coat and no

shoes on she's she's a mess another

reason why I always think these cities

are in the Northeast right right I'm

like you mean it's a balmy like 60 in

the winter I read a book recently with

like a vague City that didn't exist and

then realized it was supposed to be in

like North

Florida and I was like I have

questions of all places like yeah like

and not like on the beach like not like

not not Panama City right not Coastal

yeah just like like Keystone Heights in

Gainesville like what yeah it felt like

it was more like we're outside of like a

Gainesville or a Jacksonville kind of

energy to me and to be fair that could

have been 100% user error um because you

know me sometimes I like get a little

over excited when I'm reading and I just

like I'll miss a detail or two so it

could have been highlighted you mean

like the time that you missed that one

of the twins died in Harry

Potter that was actually exactly what I

was thinking about

yes the time in the final Harry Potter

book when I missed I still a very

important death I still think about that

oh my God

okay so anyway as you should that my

sister still talk [ __ ] about that too

how long ago did the final Harry Potter

come out and I still haven't lived this

down okay sorry so he has her by the

throat Y and he's like basically nanny

nanny boo boo you guys can't get over

here go away bye but like dark and

Sinister so he's like go tell your boss

I've got his play thing or whatever so

he picks her up how long is the bridge

that he can shout I don't know I don't

know

one I'm sorry I'm gonna I'll shut up

now I'm like there is so many other

issues we can't get stuck on the length

of the bridge although I did think about

it cuz it seems like she's on the bridge

forever but anyway yeah it cuz it seemed

like it was this like long dark ominous

bridge and you can just shout Like She's

mine now [ __ ] like they could hear I

guess maybe the wordss amplify The Voice

like a megaphone who knows like why not

they can do that

too we'll just add to Katie Robert's

plot don't don't you worry so he like

puts his coat on her cuz she realizes

she's he's he realizes she's really cold

throws her over his shoulder and he's

taking off and he's like this might be

the chance I've been waiting for because

Zeus killed my parents and I've been

waiting years and years and years to

[ __ ] this guy

up so um he's really worried about her

she is like super mouthy it's really

funny and he's like oh no she's in shock

because she's like excuse me do you just

throw people over your shoulder is this

just the thing that you do because I'm

not into it and he's like she should be

terrified why is she not freaking the

[ __ ] out right now obviously she's in

shock so he takes her back to his house

and dionisis and Hermes who are part of

the 13 are in his house so ah okay we

learn that the 13 and some other like

Elite people are aware that Hades

exists everybody else in the upper City

thinks that he's just a myth and that

his line has died

out so um

she dianis and Hermes are like oh oh so

so we're kidnapping Zeus's fiance now is

that what we're doing cuz they were at

the party yeah like they saw the whole

proposal and everything mhm and so so

why were they suddenly in his house are

they all buddies yeah so they are like

friends friendly with him and just show

up in his house regularly and eat his

food and drink his wine and just hang

out and he has like the very like Broody

grouchy oh get out of my house but like

obviously like he likes them um but they

finally say like way to go Hades and

panie is like excuse me ha who what now

you're Hades ah a then she freaks out

then she freaks out when he's tearing

her over his shoulder totally fine but

now that we know that he's the the

Boogey Man of Olympus she's not into it

so she tries to run and he grabs her and

is like he realizes her feet are like

bloody like they're really she's really

injured so back to panie she's freaking

out he's cleaning up her feet and takes

really sweet care of her he's like

really growly but also very

gentle and

um he starts talking down to her about

like um don't worry like I'll get you

back to your fiance you can start

popping out his babies and like all this

other stuff um and so she what happens

when you assume yeah she slaps him

across the face is what happened she

does and she's like

um she's like I'll die first and then

she goes I just slapped

Hades she's like oh no I made a

mistake she's like in retrospect maybe I

felt a little too passionate in that

moment whoops so he just like lets it by

picks her up and carries her to a

bedroom um and he tells her if he if she

tries to escape and gets blood on his

floors that he will be forced to bring

her back so she can clean them and she's

like that's what that's you're worried

about your floors and he's like they are

very nice floors

yes and

so feels like both of them have

interesting priorities here yeah well

and they're V both just like weirdly

irreverent about the most random things

yeah which it keeps it interesting so

there's a landline phone in the room

she's aware it's probably bugged but she

calls her sisters anyway um and to tell

them that she's okay she's in in the

lower cities with Hades they're freaking

out so they offer to help her they're

like we will help you get out of Olympus

apparently it's very

expensive because just like there are

Wards between the upper and lower City

there are Wards preventing you from

leaving

Olympus so you have to have like ways

out right you have to have money and

whatever

so was she ever were her was her mom

ever going to let her go to UC Berkeley

no no her mom was not aware of that plan

okay so that was just in her head she

was like I'm going to my I'm like my

dream is to get out to go get my PhD to

live a life outside of this place I

don't want to live like this like with

people always watching me and all this

[ __ ] um all this political like

nastiness um but her sisters know but

nobody else knows

so um they offer they're like we will

pull our money we will get you out and

she's like no no because that just means

mom will just organize for one of you to

marry Hades like I'm not or to marry

Zeus I mean I'm not doing that so um she

tells them not to get involved and she

after the conversation she's like cool

cool cool so I have um no money no phone

and no plan so just living with Hades

these days I'm just going to have to

[ __ ] figure it out dude um and she

doesn't feel safe at all like she's in

this stranger's house she has

nothing there's nothing in the room she

can really use as a weapon so she's like

well there's no lock on the bathroom

door or on the bedroom door but there is

on the bathroom so she moves a table in

front of the bedroom door and takes the

comforter and like sleeps in the tub and

like locks the door cuz she's like I

don't I don't know what's going to

happen to me at this

point that's [ __ ] terrifying I know

because it's all like sort of kitchy

until that moment where she's like no

like I this could be really really bad

well and I think that's another like

place in a lot of the books we read

where like it's very easy to suspend

belief but then if you actually pause

and think about truly being that

character in that moment it's like oh

right oh this is this is a very unsafe

situation she doesn't even have shoes

like she's f [ __ ] like in an evening

gown right like no clothes she has

nothing so back to Hades Hermes and

dianis are still in the kitchen um or

they're in the kitchen in the morning

when he goes down um Hermes is like a

super spy messenger that's her role on

the 13 um and she hints that panie is

not what she seems cuz Hades has seen

her in the gossip magazines and stuff

and so he's like she's just a Dy trust

fun kid like very shallow whatever and

Hermes is like I love that you think

that like okay CU Hermes knows things

that she really shouldn't know so Hades

takes is that like a

magical like or just like is it one of

the okay you there's not an answer I

don't need to ask yeah I mean it's

unclear she can get into places that she

shouldn't be able to get into but is she

just a super cat burglar or does she

have magic I don't know yeah um like is

it like she's there I'm like do people

bring her the secrets does she go find

the secrets just have questions seems

like both okay yeah so um Hades goes up

what a job to have I know and she does

like all the the uh message carrying

between the 13 so she

knows everybody's

business imagine being asked what your

job title is and you get to say I'm a

super secret

keeper and that's your full-time job I

mean like as a therapist kind of like

you

know super secret Keepers Hippa does

make us super secret Keepers we are

federally protected super secret

[Laughter]

Keepers but we're also mandated

reporters yeah so we're we we're stupid

secret Keepers unless posing imminent

threat to yourself or others or know of

harm being posed to a child or the

elderly yeah yeah yeah with with those

caveats alone we're super secret Keepers

super super secret Keepers as y yeah um

so he goes up to wake up panie and he

just thinks she's really cute like you

know she's all rumpled and he just

thinks she's really cute did he did she

come out did he break through the doors

he so he opened the door that wasn't

locked and like knocked over the side

table and he was bothered that she felt

that

unsafe um but just came across as really

irritated towards her but he was more

like oh I don't like that like like why

is she like why why doesn't she feel

safe here yeah but he he didn't do that

internally internally he was like oh I

don't like that like I don't like that

she didn't feel safe like what's

happened to her before that like she

would to these measures and stuff but

externally which just very grumbly and

Gruff so um she's still more mouthy

about him barging into places um and uh

she makes a joke that um he's like well

this is my house I will go into any room

that I choose to go into she's like you

should have some kind of consent form if

that's the case people should be made

aware before they stay here

and um he's

like

noted it's but it is foreshadowing for

other stuff so um

consent yeah consent being the

foreshadow big big consent Queen here um

so he's thinking that like he doesn't

feel good about using her for his

revenge he's like like I actually kind

of like her she's cute and she's sweet

and like like she's innocent in all this

I don't want to use her okay um but

before he can like say anything she's

like I think we can help each other cuz

he made some like vague comments about

revenge on Zeus and how much he hates

Zeus so she's

like I got you so back to panie she

intentionally puts on her fake Sunshine

Persona um and she's like so go ahead

and use me go ahead and use me let Zeus

believe that you've ruined me because

then he won't want me it's a purity

culture thing in the upper

City and um Hades was like that will

never work like Zeus will know it's not

true um and she's like then we'll just

do it for real like we won't lie we'll

just really do it um and she only needs

three months cuz she's going to get out

she's never coming back um Zeus only

goes for virgins or who he believes are

virgins

um her public Persona is very pure but

she alludes to like she had a previous

girlfriend that was like her best lover

ever and like other men are just stupid

basically um so uh Hades is like no it

won't work because I'm not into you like

I don't like you I don't want you and

she's

like okay and just starts thinking of

alternate plans in her mind she's like

fair enough on to the next that sucks

cuz he's kind of hot but whatever I have

bigger fish to fry at this point I

really appreciate especially with a lot

of the heroins that we have

read that doesn't ruin her yeah like so

many of the heroins we read are like I'm

just so frumpy and like yeah one passive

like I feel like a lot of the books we

read even like someone will compliment

someone and they're like what did they

mean by that and and he's like I don't

like you she's like no skin off my nose

on to the next yeah literally she's

like basically it's one of those things

where it's like so many of the heroins

their self-esteem is so fragile that a

single half of a rejection like not even

an entire rejection but half of one is

like the major plot point in the book um

where for her she was like all right

well that was one option for a plan if

that's not going to work I need to think

of a different plan I feel like that's

Megan Quinn's books yes I've been on a

big Megan Quinn kick we've talked about

this I did that last year I think yeah

yeah like and the series are all fun and

easy but there's it's also like I think

the game I've I've turned it into is

trying to figure out what minor plot

point is going to be the minor

inconvenience that's going to implode

their relationship yeah like it never

seems to

be worth the Fallout in my head um and

then they always resolve it very quickly

yep and I'm that's my one because I

think Megan Quinn's books are like so

fun and so smart and so witty but I'm

just

like make him work for it a little girl

right right like I'm like

or like I'm like the the fuckups just

never seem big enough for the level of

response right but then the like graving

seems to be actually in proportionate to

the size of the [ __ ] right you know

what I mean it's like really big

response but then the actual like I'm

sorry they're like it's okay I forgive

you right well that's I've been I told

you I found the JS Scott of motorcycle

club romances I've been reading and it's

the same thing and it's the same thing

every time where like the girl is

feeling kind of insecure but she like

really loves him and then one day she

comes into the clubhouse and one of the

club bunnies is like all over him and

she's like oh my God I knew it I knew he

would never really want me and then she

runs away and puts herself in Mortal

danger

like every

time I've read literally like 20 of

these by this

point every single

time bless it for the authors out there

trying to hold down the action adventure

romance because keeping it fresh when

you're like essentially the women are

always getting kidnapped and the men are

always coming to save them yes like the

details of what the kidnapping look like

even like in the last one I read the

girl ran away but they the whole club

and all the women had tracker implanted

just in case they get kidnapped okay

because they get kidnapped so often they

have track kidnapped so often so she she

knows she has a Tracker but she's like I

don't want him to find me so she somehow

already had a black market frequency

[Laughter]

Jammer and there's no like how did she

get it where did she get it from why did

she get it I couldn't tell you just in

her purse you never know when you'll

need it she just had

it

anyway yes that's not our plot Point

here thankfully um

so

he blah blah blah she's thinking of

Alternatives and then um he gets really

quiet and then he's like wait a

minute if do this we have to have sex in

public

um hard pivot I'm not into you like that

she's like okay I'll find another plan

he's like unless we [ __ ] in public

literally okay yeah so she he's like you

will belong to me in every way this is

not going to be uh only when we're in

public thing this is going to be like

for real for real thing for the next 3

months what what like he took like a a

full minute to consider and was like

hold on a

minute I've had other

thoughts if we're doing this we're

really doing it yes there's no

half-assing

this but right but at first he was like

I don't know so she's like bet let's do

it sounds great so um then she's like we

got to seal it with a kiss so they kiss

uh um so back to Hades he's like super

into this whole kiss situation and he's

like

um uh I got to back up like oh no

because I really like her that's why I

said no in the first place but she's so

cute and I really want to help her and

he's like I could just pay for her to

get out of Olympus like I could just get

her out but I don't want to a so so he

leaves her so he said no because he

likes her he was too into her and like

this just isn't a good

idea and then was like well better make

these three months count and for a penny

and for a pound we're going for it um so

he leaves he goes into his office um

he's talking to one of his like adviser

people who essentially raised him after

his parents died um they were killed in

a fire I just realized

pound you just realized pound is in like

British money didn't

you I was just sitting here I've never

really thought about the say before I

just sitting here I was like oh my

God I want to be very clear we haven't

been drinking today no unfortunately

this is entirely

sober

oh my God you know the beauty of this

podcast is it really keeps me

humble yeah I'm Chelsea and I do know

what a [ __ ] is is like something I

never thought I would say before before

the show oh my God you made me

cry okay um for a penny in for a I like

that I just said so the pound and the

look on your face you're like I

automatically know what happened I no

questions

wow [ __ ] man I love that we're learning

I it's just I've literally never thought

about it before you know it's just like

I was like that's what I was actually

ruminating I was like wow you know you

don't really hear in for a penny and for

a pound that often I was like what a

weird comparison and then I paused a

second longer and went

oh that feels so

obvious oh my

God oh I like that I'm talking about his

parents being murdered and you're like

wait a minute wait a minute honestly I

completely missed his parents

murder which feels like a really shitty

thing to

say honestly it's very

unbrand yeah yeah yeah the

murder but also the analogy right right

right so his parents were killed in a

fire um and he believes Zeus said we

know that Zeus said it okay it's not

just like it is confirmed Zeus said it

and also in the house right so he is

very

scarred um and um it's a whole big mess

so the his advisers are trying to

convince him to just like go ahead and

give panie back like this is a bad idea

and he's like no I didn't break the

treaty she ran from him she ran to me so

unless she chooses to gooss the bridge

yeah unless she chooses to go

back I'm not keeping her against her

will can she cross back

yes so she can cross to the high city

whatever it's called M with with no

problem but going to the the low City

where Hades is is where it will cause

the physical issues right not the bloody

stump feet right that was from walk

because she didn't she didn't have

permission from Hades to

cross so like diis and her perm dianis

and Hermes can cross because they have

permission from Zeus or from Hades and

Zeus to go back and forth do you need

permission from

both okay that's way that's you need you

need Zeus's permission to cross to the

higher City and you need Hades

permission to cross to the lower yes

okay so um

they he's like working on getting her

some clothes because obviously she has

no clothes so um Zeus calls while he's

sitting in his office and starts making

threats and demands that Hades give her

back um and he taunts Zeus about it and

he says um he's like taunting him and

the quote is like uh you can only

imagine like the depraved things all do

to that tight little body

and he's like she'd prefer to be

debauched by me than anywhere near you

son like he's like going in but he feels

really gross that he's like saying that

about her he's like

oh like I know we agreed that we were

going to help each other out but this

yeah I don't like talking about her like

that yeah but he doesn't anyway so he

doesn't mind it enough to stop correct

he's like like oh

guilt it'll

pass that's a fascinating moral concept

that we could delve into at some point

as well which is not really what we do

here on the show that's a different

podcast that's a different podcast one

we haven't started yet um although I'm

sure someone else has and you should go

listen to their therapy podcast cuz we

or there their guilt

whatever their commentary on social

mores

whatever what a good word I

know I've been thinking I read it

somewhere and was like

Mor

I love a really like a good vocab word

um and I also know I talk so fast I [ __ ]

them up on a regular basis we like as

I'm saying it I'm like that word no

longer sounds intelligent because you

got it WR have you watched the new Glass

Onion the Ed Norton one uh-uh um on

Netflix I well relatively no in the last

year or two right um but there's a Ed

Norton like is always using these big

words

like getting them wrong saying them

wrong and at some point they're like

he's an idiot like he like is using all

these words making people think he's

smart he doesn't know [ __ ] he's [ __ ]

up all these words and that's how I feel

most of the time well that's like

Michael Scott when he's like it's in

calable you know like I'm not Su

stitious but I am a little a little

stitious um that always makes me think

of 10 Things I Hate About You I know you

can be

overwhelmed yeah can you just be welmed

I think you can in

Europe that movie is brilliant it is I

haven't watched him in forever so years

ago when I worked youth ministry I was

having a big slumber party with all of

like my high school girls and I was in

charge of bringing the movies

and I I brought that one with a bunch of

others and they were just like Chelsea

we should not have like this was before

streaming services right we should not

have put you in charge of the movies

[ __ ] I um and then like 10 minutes in

they're like this is the best movie ever

and like thank you we never would have

seen this and I'm like I I know you're

welcome you're welcome

yeah I need to watch that now I need to

find it somewhere our first answer at

our wedding was Can't Take My Eyes Off

Of You not not the Heath Ledger version

right

the Lauren Hill version oh nice yeah it

was a good first Dan what was your first

dance did you do one I was gonna say

yeah we didn't dance does Matt dance no

do you dance

yeah how you said both of those no no

yeah I

Dan okay that's like the energy of our

whole relationship is like mad is is the

anchor and then I just cause chaos and

then return like when you crash your car

into a ditch trying to get boiled

peanut I

no that wasn't the example I was

thinking I showed I showed Vance a photo

I was like oh looks like Hannah and Matt

like I was like scrolling through

Facebook and I showed him a photo of

y'all and he's like I've never seen a

photo of matth before he's like but he

looks exactly as I pictured he would I

was like I felt the same way yeah like I

was like I don't know who but like as

soon as I saw a photo of him I was like

oh yep I get it like this energy yeah no

makes so much sense yeah yeah he let me

braid his beard the other day I've never

experienced so much serotonin in my life

oh my God like I was just like we were

just sitting there and I was like baby I

want to braid your beard and he he was

like okay like whatever I was like oh my

God so I did like two little baby

braids did he wear them to work no okay

no it was on the weekend okay yeah not

wi public thing no it made me really

happy would he go in public with the

braided beard I don't think he would

care touche yeah he

might anywh who um bless Matt he Amen to

that y are you guys are just like such a

good little pairing together thank you

okay where were we I

panie so she gets dressed in borrowed

clothes she goes out with

Hades um and then he shows up and he's

like carrying her she's like I can walk

and he keeps getting really frustrated

with her that she's not taking better

care of herself like she's not eating

enough she's like pushing it too hard on

her feet that are really injured he's

like he's really frustra with her so so

um she just leans into the fact that

he's going to carry her because he he's

not listening so she's like whatever you

uh there's no point in asking to walk if

you're going to keep ignoring me right

so um he takes her into the basement of

the house to this really weird

room and she's

like uh

awkward concerning is there anything in

the room

it's a Sex Dungeon is what we find out

there we go but he's like it's not a Sex

Dungeon and Hermes is like it's a Sex

Dungeon like it's definitely a Sex

Dungeon don't let him fool you it's

definitely a Sex Dungeon yeah literally

she's really funny um so he tells her

that um when he said he cuz part of why

he said no to the original offer was

that he doesn't bargain for sex but when

he take to takes her down there he's

like well that wasn't totally

true

um because you know consent is really

important to me so before we enter this

room I need you to tell me pick a safe

word so she picks pomegranate like nod

to the myth right I see and

um he's like harping on and on about

consent and she's like oh consent

matters does it like how you carry me

with

consent and he's like this was a bad

idea and she's like I'm I was just

kidding like I was just teasing I'm

sorry I'm sorry like I won't make jokes

about consent anymore I'm sorry so um

they go in and um it's like a replica of

Zeus's throne room but a Sex Dungeon

she's like she's like I see what you did

here I get

it I get

it so you're trying to work through over

there was a little bit of resentment so

um they go in and it's empty and she's

like where is everybody he's like did

you think I was just going to

like put you on a stage the first time

we ever touch each other in front of her

room full of people like no no honey a

little bit she literally was like I kind

of was thinking that yes

so

um he goes through an extensive list of

sexual Kinks and she yes no maybe yes no

maybe and they like go through all the

things consent matters he like explains

to her that at any point pomegranate

stops everything blah blah blah this is

all for her

pleasure um she's clearly really really

into it and he just stays stone-faced

through the whole thing like he's

completely unaffected he's like how do

you feel about anal

play and she's like maybe

and he's like noted and she's like oh my

God like I'm on fire and he's like all

right

so they're going through it this does

seem like a very fun book is it is

really fun um and I I appreciate the way

that she goes about consent in a healthy

BDSM type relationship cuz normally in

these books it's like and suddenly he

pulled out a whip and I was like oh my

god I've never been so on in my life and

it's like no no no no no n nope nope we

shouldn't be doing that um so I can't

imagine I mean I can I don't want to

right right right that's the key cuz I'm

like if you just have open communication

with your partner

M we can all be on the same page yeah

like just use your words use your words

and there are things that you're like

maybe like I'd be willing to try it I

don't really I don't really know how I

feel like I feel like my my husband and

I have like not that I'm going to like

do a deep dive into Vance ni sex life

right but I I feel like I really

appreciate within our relationship

there's the comfort and the safety that

like if we like I tried something and I

went yes or no he goes no and I go okay

now we know and just like moved on but I

was like like I I can't imagine not

having conversations in the so many

books there's no they just dive straight

in yeah like and it's concerning

multiple partners multiple toys yep with

no nothing you good with this right you

you

okay hot like

oh okay like this is another way we're

suspending belief like okay yes 1,000%

that is another way of suspending belief

in a lot of these books I heard I was

listening to another podcast a while

back and I heard the host was like so

some research has come out recently that

women who have sex with men um have the

least satisfying sex life and 80% say

that they do not have orgasms regularly

and the the co-host goes that [ __ ] is

dark are straight women

okay

it's like a gay man who's like are

straight women okay so concerned a lot

of them aren't he's like why are we

having conversations about this why

doesn't everyone know it's like well the

pleasure of women doesn't matter so it

yeah the pleasure woman doesn't matter

and there just needs to be more open

conversation mhm and like I was having

conversation with

someone who um

heterosexual relationship and I was

talking to the male partner and they

were feeling some like not like shame or

guilt but just they're they were noting

their um their partner initiated sex

more often and they were like kind of

internalizing that about like oh is that

like a character flaw on my end is that

like a problem with me that like am I

not into it like why am I not like and I

was just able to say well an 80 % of

like traditional heterosexual

relationships the male does initiate

more but in 20% it is common that the

woman has a higher sex drive and

initiates more and it looked like the

relief that he's like oh oh what yeah

and I'm like it doesn't it doesn't mean

anything's wrong with you no it's just

different yeah it's not even that

different it really it really isn't it's

okay but there's no conversations about

it so everything

feels dirty and dark

well and it's also this idea that like

women are the prey and like men are

supposed to be initiating and like women

aren't supposed to be into it as much

it's like just a very weird gross

misogynist when I was like younger and

like still in physically developing

developing and such I remember not even

it never occurred to me that sexual that

like sex could be pleasurable for the

woman right like my literal thought

process like oh yeah like you have sex

and the man comes like my actual thought

process of how sex worked as a young

child well but then we have this like

swing the other direction in a lot of

these romance novels where it's like he

barely touched my [ __ ] and I came like

he breed yeah he breathed on my vagina

and it was Dripping I came harder than

I've ever come in my life and so never

and I've never been with a partner

before and you're like that's not how

this works I've never seen a penis like

it's like what yes so that's part of why

I this book stood out to me and why I

remembered it is like this scene

specifically because he goes through all

the things um and so and as noted in the

book she is like very aroused he's being

very clinical and he's like we just need

to get through this list yes or no on

this yes or no on that and she's like oh

my God she's like are we doing this

she's like these things are all options

what right literally yeah so um he tells

her it's yes it can be hot to talk about

consent is the only Point yes consent is

sexy so um he's like yes sir when we're

in this room or you'll be punished and

she's like oh no I liked that like okay

all right so he puts her on the stage in

a spotlight there's there's nobody there

but he puts her up there um and tells

her to strip he's teasing her um she's

like shaking she's so excited um and

then

um yeah she's like I haven't been this

excited since I hooked up with my

exgirlfriend a few years ago this is

[ __ ] awesome like excited so um he

tells her that he's going to make her

come and then take her upstairs to

change the bandages on her feet and if

she's a good girl she'll get to come

again um she's like yes

please I also just love the sexual

confidence in these books oh right when

like especially with that stat of like

yeah most most straight women are not

orgasming

consistently and all of these books are

like I will make you come five times

tonight or I have not done done my job

properly and I know how to make that

happen and I'm like with a

swiftness like with a Swift I will make

that expedited that orgasm for you like

you're like what right like like the

confidence to just be like I'm going to

make you come multiple times what books

are you reading my guy

okay okay so we're back to Hades he

really is like super turned on but he's

like keeping it locked down um so

there's all kinds of stuff about um he's

talking to her about what it's going to

be like when they have an audience that

you know they're all going to want her

and he's like do you think I should

share you and she's like I don't know

that I'm into that he's like good good

because you're mine and I won't he's

like they can look and be jealous but

they can't touch one of those yeah so

then my notes say he finger bangs her to

completion we love that for her then he

realizes like I need to step away from

her like this is a lot like I'm really

excited so um

blah blah blah um he basically his whole

thing is he keeps his territory and his

people in the lower City safe because

people think he's like the baddest

[ __ ] and so he says um I can't

appear to be let around by the [ __ ] by a

girl from the upper City like can't

happen can't be [ __ ] whipped out here

nope so he's like L break our political

system literally like the fabric of

Olympus will crumble so

um he continues to like take care of her

he takes her upstairs um to redress her

feet um and um she's like well we should

definitely [ __ ] before we [ __ ] in front

of people right like we should we should

get that way just making sure we should

we should test that one out too just to

be clear you know

um and um he is like giving her a hard

time about not taking care of herself

and all this other [ __ ] um and he tells

her that if she can't be trusted to care

for her body then he will do it for her

which she does not like she's like it's

my body so maybe calm down he's like

nope the next three months it's mine you

agreed sorry not sorry no take backs and

he's like realizing he's never kept a

submissive like this before and he's

like am I supposed to be feeling like

this like I don't know so he's a little

conflicted so um

he goes to leave we're back to Pan's

point of view she's like you owe me

another

orgasm um don't forget have a good night

yeah she's like excuse me you promised

um she's definitely a brat she just

wants to he's like what do you really

want and she's like to misbehave is what

I want because she's always been like

the perfect good little girl um so he

she he tells her to rub one out in front

of him so he does that he touches

himself at the same time um and then he

she's like begging him to touch her and

so he just like rubs her with his dick I

don't know why I did that hand motion

I'm really

sorry but like there's just no

penetration there's sexual contact and

no penetration but they both

come well initially when you said rub

her and had those hand motions I thought

like she was getting a postorgasm

massage

and then cuz you used both hands for the

hand motion and then you said with his

dick now like

logistically Curious don't worry about

it

so um yeah there's good after care she's

like I'm not into cuddling he like pulls

her into his lap and he's like this

isn't cuddling this is after care

right um and so they have a sweet moment

and it's nice

so then Hades leaves we're back to him

Hermes is there um and she has a message

from demer so when Hermes brings a

message it comes out in the voice of the

person who sends the message right okay

so she opens her mouth I had been

wondering how the messaging worked

deer's voice comes out of hermes's mouth

which sounds disturbing so um she says

that at least if you know that it's

going to

would May a little L disturbing but if

you don't know that Hermes is about to

open their mouth and it's going to be

another yeah unsettling so um deer says

she's going to cut off the food supply

to his people if she doesn't give or if

he doesn't give panie back so um he's

pissed um and he knows that he's not

going to do that um and also his people

have been preparing for something like

this for quite some time because of the

tension between him and Zeus so he's

like we got it not worried it's all good

yeah like she can take her food supply

away and we will still be okay we have

been we knew this was coming at some

point didn't know what the Catalyst

would be right so he keeps thinking like

I am not ever giving her

back even if this is temporary and she

leaves me she will be happy and it will

be her choice I'm not giving her back

like I don't care about the

consequences so he's just seems like a

kind Gruff

misunderstood yeah he's got a little bit

of like Beast from Beauty and the Beast

energy I thought that yeah um so he

takes her shopping they go all through

the lower City he's like showing her

around there's lots of History the upper

city has essentially erased their

history like it's all new and like they

tore down historical buildings and

things like that and the lower city is

much more more like rich in that area so

she's loving it they have a special

bonding moment where he takes her to his

favorite place in the city um and then

as they go to leave she almost faints

because she hasn't been eating so um is

there a reason that she hasn't been

eating she's stressed she's one of those

that like when she gets stressed she

can't eat okay um and so it's not like a

like

intentionally not taking care of herself

nah she just has a hard time eating full

meals when she's really stressed I

understand that same yeah yeah so he

takes her back to the house he my notes

say he's big mad um and he gets a bunch

of takeout for her

um she's like annoyed with him but also

kind of likes that he's taking care of

her so um they're in his room she falls

asleep and he's again just really mad

that because also part of of this is

she's ignoring her body's cues about her

hunger about her fatigue about her pain

and he's like I can't trust her in a

scene to tell me what's actually going

on with her like if I can't trust her to

take care of herself on a day-to-day

basis how can I trust her to be honest

with me like when we're in the middle of

something that could actually hurt her

if she doesn't tell me you know valid

valid concern yep um so

she wakes up later he's like get dressed

he puts it out like this um princess

leaes situation like the gold bikini yes

gold bikini situation and he's like in a

full black suit and they go down to the

playroom and there's a ton of people

there and

um he is realizing he just really likes

her like she's bratty and fun and smart

and he's

like yeah he's like balls [ __ ] so this

wasn't supposed to happen he's like

she's not mine like she has he has to

keep reminding himself like this is

temporary like she really isn't his to

take care of even though his instincts

are to protect her so they go down to

the playroom and it's obvious that she's

really nervous so this whole setup was

very intentional so she is dressed like

essentially Princess Leia as a slave at

that one point in the movie it's very

intentional to like send this message so

they go in everyone is staring um but he

tells her like we're not going to go on

stage tonight like that had been his

original plan but seeing how nervous she

was he was like we're just going to

essentially like [ __ ] over here like in

this Throne people want to watch that's

cool but we're not going to get on the

stage so um he organized a different

show at as like a pre-show anyway so um

there's like a naked woman that there's

a lot of detail about that she's very

full figured and like whatever um and a

a man comes out ties her up she gets

super turned on Haiti starts fingering

her in front of everybody um and clearly

no one's watching the stage like

everybody knows who she is everybody

knows who he is and they're all like oh

[ __ ]

so um they Bang

um he pulls out a condom y he pulls out

a condom they bang

um he turns her around to face the room

so that there is no question that she's

super into it like he's not forcing

anything like this is all of it is very

much a show uhhuh um very

consensual yep very of her own accord

yep so then he pulls out but he didn't

come like she came but he didn't um and

she's like what are you doing and he's

like I'm not done with you yet and I

don't want to do that in here

so so fair enough he's super excited and

then he's like what's this funny feeling

in my chest and that's like through the

whole book love there's like why is my

heart all squeezy like what's that like

okay um is someone going to eventually

go that feeling it's love I mean he does

eventually he does yeah I was

hoping so there's like a whole bunch of

political [ __ ] that's happening in this

playroom scene with like people from the

upper City seeing them um and so there's

a lot of people from the upper City in

his basement yeah so like it is the best

kept secret that Hades is alive like it

well the worst kept secret really like

that he's there

thriving having sex parties like

everybody in the upper City appar knows

this clearly not desolate no or dead or

dead no yeah very much alive everybody's

doing great so

um

uh they're like Hermes is warning him

like this could cause uh a war like this

is really serious and then Hades all of

a sudden starts to realize like Pan's

sisters are unprotected in the upper

City he's like oh [ __ ] I really should

have thought of that that's not ideal

so he's like trying to have his Spies

Like keep an eye on them and watch

them and this is what he's think about

while he's [ __ ] her no this is after

this is after he's pulled out and he's

like still hard having a conversation

yeah I guess in my head he was still

inside her well I didn't think he was

still inside her but when he said I'm

not done with you I thought like the

scene was continue where like they were

going to go up to his like it did seem

that way but that's not what happened

then when he start talking I was like

wait

what we're still playing political Mind

Games he didn't nut but suddenly goes I

realize her sisters are unprotected

they're not safe you

guys so

um then he decides like yeah I've waited

long enough I'm ready to go thanks bye

and so he carries her out and then he

realizes like he's not carrying her

because of her beet he just likes to

carry

her so it's like a welcome so

um he finally tells her about the threat

her mom made to his people and she's

like I'll go back like I'll go back um

and he's like no no we got it they make

out he turns out the lights and she's

like but I want to I want to see you

like I want to touch you and he's like

h no

like he does eventually let her touch

him but he doesn't want her to see him

the

scars classically um initially he does

like prevent her from touching him but

eventually they go all

in she puts another condom on him they

have a solidifying

[ __ ] and she asks him to stay with her

um even though she's in his bed he's

like babe where' you think I was going

to go

so it's liter yes I'll stay with you

like well since you ask nicely right um

and not because it's my bed exactly so

he holds her he's thinking about how

it's really going to suck when she

leaves but he's really grateful to have

her now um and it's she's really

determined to make the most of their

time she's like We're going to milk this

just for everything so but still with

the 3 months

timeline in mind she's going because the

other thing is if she doesn't go then

her mom will

never lift this ban on the food like

it's not just that after 3 months she

gets to leave but it's like there will

be far-reaching consequences if she

chooses to stay with him right so um he

has never let anybody touch his scars

before um and you know previous lover

have been like disgusted by him because

of it and he mentions like male lovers

too it's just like casually like BS he's

a five on the Kinsey scale like

throughout the book for both of them um

which is interesting but um he keeps

reminding himself this is temporary and

then he gets a text that there's a

mandatory meeting of the 13 via Zoom I

guess so um the 13 minus Hara cuz she's

dead get on the meeting Zeus is

demanding panie back her mom gets all

indignant um and like you will give my

daughter back and he's like I'm sorry

the daughter that you sold to the wife

murderer that daughter I don't think

I'll be doing that

like the daughter that you so clearly

cared about that you sacrificed her for

your own political purposes the deep

love and you have for for that daughter

no we won't be doing

that so then um she he's like you can't

actually be

concerned like come on like Zeus you'd

never really talk to the girl you

proposed to or Rando for a political

deal you sold your daughter how mad can

you'all be that that I have her right

like I don't think this is about pranie

like let's be real so um he she comes up

behind him wrapped in his sheets like

there's description of the beard burning

hickeys all over her and she leans down

into the camera and is like I'm very

happy here thank you and like hangs up

on the 13 and Hades is like

babe he's like not even I would

like okay somebody woke up spicy like

okay so um um she gives him a

Hummer he's super into it um and he's

like really into making her cry while

she does it but she's also into that and

so they have like a whole system for if

he goes too far if he hurts her obvious

and as long as there's a system and it

works for both of them yeah we're into

it um and then um he's just having a lot

of feelings he's just having a lot a lot

of feelings that he's trying not to

acknowledge um so then he

gives her a cell phone that is not

tapped so that she can communicate with

her

sisters um so she calls them she tells

them everything that's going on they

continue to encourage her she's still

feeling really guilty um they're being

followed um by they're pretty sure

Zeus's men and so they are concerned

that Zeus is going to try to do

something to one of them to like lure

her back across the bridge and they're

like listen no matter what happens do

not come back here like do not come for

us we will be

okay but she's like freaking out

foreshadowing very much so so

um Hades they're like living life like

he comes in and sees her all curled up

after he's had a really long hard day

and he's

like I really like seeing her here yeah

this is so nice to come home to someone

um so he decides to take her out they

Explore More of the city they have a

great time um she sees how much he

really loves his people and like

spending time with them which is very

different than the 13 in the upper City

it's very much like worthy Elite kind of

deal um but he's like eating from what

amounts to a food truck like you know

he's having a good time and he knows the

owner of the food truck like you know um

and

so she moves into his

room um and um apparently he has this

thing where he has to check all the

doors and windows before he can go to

bed that's like left over from the

trauma of the fire when he was younger

and um he she doesn't make him feel bad

about it she's just like she like

reminds him she's like did you check the

doors and windows cuz she knows he won't

sleep mhm if he doesn't and he's like

well I'm [ __ ] like super she's

thoughtful and kind and looks so warm

and cuddly yeah she's just real cute um

I love this for him yes so it's very

sweet so then um it's been about a week

um they've been banging panie confesses

that she really wants to be on the stage

um

with Hades um they bang again because

they get turned on talking about it and

he's like uh I'll do whatever you want

like next sex party let's have another

party yeah bet got you girl say

less and then um he finally lets her see

him naked which is a huge moment for him

um he starts to get really worried that

Zeus hasn't done anything

he's like I'm concerned that he's too

quiet yeah it's been like two weeks like

where you at man like I don't like it so

um he finally realizes all the squeezy

feelings are love he's like oh

[ __ ] um so he's reminding himself it's

temporary I have to let her go all that

stuff um she wakes up and asks him about

going without a condom cuz before this

it's been every single time very clear

and itive condoms are used she says she

has an IUD and she's clean and he gets

really excited that she trusts him so

much um so they have more

sex

um and so again they go out they're

having a great time she asks asks to

stop at a pet store and he's like sure

we can stop at the pet store like

literally whatever you want what does he

think is going to happen when you stop

at a pet store with yes you're correct

yeah so they go in and um they have

three puppies that were

abandoned and she like gets on the

ground and starts playing with them and

the owner of the shop which of course

Haiti knows the owner he donates to them

all the time to help with like Strays

and stuff um is like I've been trying to

get this one to get a dog and she's like

Hades you have to but you can't separate

them we need all three I see I see the

the nod there as well look at us go yeah

how big are the dogs they will be big

right now they're puppies but their paws

are massive and of course the biggest

one he named curus um

so um she like internally she's really

worried about him being alone when she

leaves cuz his house is all big and

empty and she's like is that part of why

she wanted to get him pets so that he

wouldn't be alone yeah cuz she's worried

about him she's like he likes to take

care of things he likes to take care of

people people and like if I'm not here

he'll have them to take care

of so um well with your inability to

care for yourself he might have them to

care for even if you are

here just for the record just a thought

so then um she just wants him to be

loved and to like be able to love and so

he he decides he'll take all three um

and he says these are our dogs and she's

like no no Hades these are your dogs and

he's like no you don't understand these

are our dogs so he insists that she

named two of them

um and then like on their way back she's

like oh so they're going to deliver the

um like supplies mhm and we'll walk home

and then she's like oh my God I think of

his house as home this is not good yeah

like this is not good cuz I got to go um

so she's very concerned about like the

trouble that she's going to make for

every body um but she doesn't see

another option mhm so um they have a

very heartfelt moment where they both

basically say like if we were different

people

like I would want you to stay like I

would ask you to stay if we were the

conversation of we really wish the

timing were different here and we're

both bummed right that there's a clock

and she's like if we were different

people you wouldn't have to ask me to

stay like you know like it's a very

sweet moment where it's like we both

want it it reminded me of the end of

shit's creek with

Alexis and Ted I'm not going to lie I

never actually finished shits Creek oh

no spoilers which I'm not upset about

like we it's one of those shows that

like we like would casually passively

put on and I think like I got through

like two seasons and then we started

watching something else and I always

mean to go back to it yeah it's

excellent right everyone loves it yeah

it's really funny um and

wholesome uh but that's the energy is

like we love each other like we want to

be with each other and circumstances

outside of our control mean that like

love is not

enough so

um she has been talking up them having

sex on stage and later that night they

go down to the playroom and she lowkey

is starting to panic and he's

like he notices and he's like I changed

my mind I don't want to have sex with

you on

stage and she's like thank you

sweetheart like that's really sweet um I

see you changing your mind cuz you see

that I'm nervous

yeah he's he's really thoughtful he's

very thoughtful and sweet and so she's

like I just need to work up to it so she

gives him a [ __ ] in front of everyone

but they're still like in the shadows

and then he um he makes it look like

he's really forcing her like he's

grabbing her hair and like all this

other stuff um but he's not it's all for

show and um so

then he feels gross about it because

this is what they're into and he would

be doing that

anyway but he sees people thinking he's

really using her um and hurting her and

he's like

less sexy now yeah you know so less into

it when people think that you're

actually being harmed exactly but she

notices that he's like kind of

distracted and like brings him back to

the moment and

um all he can think about is how much he

loves her but he can't have her so then

um he pulls her into the throne after he

finishes and sets her in the throne and

he gets on on his knees which is like a

really big deal and he eats her out and

she's super confused and like what is

happening oh in my notes I forgot I did

this I did this for you he gives her a

blow

[Laughter]

job a that was so thoughtful thank you

for doing that for me he gave her a

[ __ ] he gave her a

[ __ ] literally it says he gives her a

BJ which is obviously amazing if Rihanna

can say it we can say it

amen that's not true at all for the

record do not quote me on that there's a

lot that she can say that we can't say

for a variety of

reasons but in this case we will quote

the great Rihanna in this case we can so

um he after she finishes he tells the

whole room that she is his and he is

hers and she's like what are you doing

like

okay

um uh and

so she knows they've talked about this

in like a like a roundabout way but this

has nothing to do with revenge on Zeus

so like in private they've talked about

their feelings like we really do

actually care for each other but

everything in the playroom is supposed

to be directly pointed at Zeus and this

wasn't and she's like

oh

okay

um

so uh he takes her back up to his

bedroom he's really clearly very very

upset um and he tells her that he won't

ask her to stay um because he knows it's

not possible but this really sucks like

it's going to hurt um and so they go

into azy like ripping each other's

clothes off

um and

uh he they're talking about like in the

future he he's like midst stroke he's

like in the future when you're with

someone else when you find someone else

um I want you to remember that no one

will ever be like I am with you um and

to think of me when you're with someone

else and she's

like please don't be cruel like that's

that was [ __ ] and he's like you don't

you don't understand like you have

ruined me and I am just returning the

favor and she's really upset about it

and so he feels awful afterwards like he

realizes he went way too far

um but she's like I mean I'm not sorry

everything you said is true it just

hurts you know so

um there's lots of concern about his

people suffering because he still has

her so her phone starts raining has her

mom turned off the food at this point

okay not like Total Blackout but really

close to it but he has a like a side

deal with Poseidon's

second okay so they still are getting

supplies that are coming through like

The Docks but the land locked stuff they

aren't getting okay so um Pan's phone

starts ringing it's her younger sister

uicy she's being followed she's really

freaking out um her boyfriend was

supposed to meet her and he didn't show

so they're pretty sure that he set her

up um yeah yeah he's like a musician and

like later they find out this is isn't

really relevant but it's pretty [ __ ]

up later they find out when he was

supposed to be meeting her at the bar

and she then is subsequently pulling a

panie running through the streets of

Olympus away from these men he's like

posting pictures on social media of him

with other

women like super gross so even if he

didn't set her up he's a dick yes so um

panie is on the phone with her and she's

just like get to the bridge get to the

river like just get to the bridge and so

um the man that's following her seems to

be hurting her there anyway um

apparently this is Zeus's emmo he like

wants people to have a taste of like

that they might be able to get away and

then like snatching it back like he gets

off on that like power

trip

so um when they get to the bridge when

panie and Hades get to the bridge to

meet her um they see that uriy is very

clearly injured and a man comes up and

pulls a knife and how like has her and

is like actively harming her and so

Hades is like you know what [ __ ] it and

he crosses the

bridge um because the same skin peely

thing happened to him no okay um a

little bit but like not as bad okay but

um he's like well just going to cause a

war destroying the treaty causing a war

right because panie is trying to cross

back over and one of his men is holding

her back and he's like she will never

ever forgive me and I might not forgive

myself if this man kills her sister in

front of her and like we could have

stopped

it so he shoots the guy in the

arm um and then just beats the ever

loving [ __ ] out of him before carrying

ridy back over um and back at the house

panie is obviously really thankful um

they've taken care of youry injuries and

she's playing with the puppies and like

just watching them together playing with

the puppies he's like no regrets like

yeah I did what was

right so but also what's the Fallout

real bad okay yeah so he tells her to

update her other sisters like they need

to also be on alert yes um and

uh yeah Pan's like I need to stay with

her you know Hades is super supportive

he's like you do whatever you need to do

um

and panie is starting to realize her

desire to leave Olympus is selfish and

really naive like to believe that she

could just run and it not cause her

sister's harm and now hades's harm yeah

was [ __ ] foolish and so she feels

awful about

it um and she decides that she is going

to fight because she doesn't want Hades

or her sister her sisters or any of the

lower City to suffer because of right

yeah so she's like well guess it's time

to [ __ ] Zeus up hell yeah yep so um

deserves it he really does not just in

this book but just

he's the [ __ ] worst so

um yeah lots of stuff happens he starts

trying to organize his people um to

prepare for the retaliation from Zeus

Hermes shows up with a message um from

Zeus that says return both girls in 13

hours or you will be

annihilated and Hermes is really sad

because she's part of the 13 which means

technically because Hades broke the

treaty she has to side with the rest of

the 13 against him and she's like

clearly really conflicted about

it so um she's like I can't do anything

to stop this Hades like you did this

yeah so um which he knows he did he knew

he knew from the jump and he chose he

chose to do it anyway um he's determined

to protect panie and his people no

matter what the cost is to himself so

then Hermes goes to panie and she has a

message from from Zeus for pranie which

is return and maybe I won't go to war

with Hades and she's

like okay like yes you will yeah you

mean this threat that you're just going

to hold over me for like forever forever

yeah well and he's been looking for a

reason

to destroy him his entire life Hades

doesn't know why Zeus hates him so much

we never find out but he [ __ ] does

and so he's just been Zeus has just been

looking for a reason um but he couldn't

because of the

treaty so um she panie sends a message

back to her mother but we don't know

what the message is okay we just know

that she's like Hermes I need you to get

a message to my mom that's all we know

so she's realizing that she loves Hades

and she has to protect him so Hermes

shows up a couple hours later with a

message from her mom and Mom just says

you have a deal we don't know what the

deal is but we have a deal so she goes

with Hermes so she leaves idy at hades's

house and she goes with

Hermes who takes her to Zeus's building

okay and um there is a party going on at

because there's always a party going on

um he gets kind of gross grabbing on to

her and telling her that she's been bad

Zeus mm okay and she just like leans

into it because she knows pictures are

being taken and so she like puts on her

fake smile does Hades know about her

plan or what's happening right now no

because she was staying with her sister

that night okay like in the room with

her sister does he know she's gone no oh

[ __ ] he has no idea yeah big yikes big

yikes he's not going to respond well to

that and he doesn't so um she goes to

her mom's and her mom tries to pretend

that she's been protecting her and that

she had had a plan for Zeus if she

married him um but to keep her from

being killed yeah basically it was like

lowkey poison but not enough to kill him

enough to keep him alive so that they

would have power over the 13 and his air

wouldn't take over but not so much to

actually kill him just incapacitate him

correct yeah um but now her mom's like

well but now he's a problem so we're

just going to take care of that little

issue her mom is a piece of work yeah

yeah we also find out her mom has been

married four times so all of her sisters

are are biological half sisters

and every single one of the marriages

was just like a power move like it's

like watching The Little Mermaid a

little bit

yeah um so

um persephanie makes a deal that Hades

will be seen with her mom at six events

throughout the year to make it look like

they're allies so he doesn't actually

have to back her on anything he just has

to look like he's backing her on stuff

because that's going to bolster her

power um

and panie knows she can never leave

Olympus now because she has promised her

mom that she's going to get Hades to

like agree to this stuff MH but she

can't risk him um and she's like

hopefully he'll forgive me and we can be

together so Hades realizes she's gone

seriously upset he doesn't know what to

do he finds a note that says that she

loves him and she's going to fix

everything and he's like the [ __ ] does

that mean like he's like no no no no no

no no no no don't go fixing [ __ ] time

out rewind because he's like fixing

things is you going to a party with

Zeus ah like I don't like this

plan so um he knows though that she must

actually truly love and trust him

because she left her sister with him to

protect her so he's like okay so that's

not

[ __ ] but like yikes but I don't like

not being included in the plan yeah big

yikes don't like it um so he takes off

to try to get her back and Hermes shows

up and he's like what are you doing here

are you here to kill me now like aren't

we at War and she's like I love that you

think that I'm here to give you a ride

get in and he's like okay so he gets in

and heres is like hey so

um uh here's a message from Deer you

have the support of more than half of

the 13 here's a gun good

[Music]

luck so panie organized an entire

alliance against Zeus with her

mother so that to give Hades an opening

to go kill

him so Hades is like well okay then well

don't look a gift horse in the mouth

correct he's like lowkey I've been

planning this for for years I have

questions about that saying as well but

that is also a conversation for another

time I think I know oh I do you want me

to tell you now actually if you know

yeah so from my understanding okay which

could be wrong is that um part of like

buying horses back in the day and maybe

today I don't know anything about horses

really is you want to check their teeth

and that's you get a good understanding

of their health based on their teeth

huh but if somebody gives you a horse it

would be incredibly rude to look at

their to look at their teeth oh yeah

thank you you're welcome very helpful

I've learned so this

podcast we need to recategorize it it's

[ __ ] educational the more you

[Laughter]

know can we get the Reading Rainbow Guy

to come and honestly what it is is that

between you and your knowledge of

General pop culture and me and my

knowledge of just random [ __ ] that's

not necessary to anything we are a

trivia

Juggernaut we do it's true so anyway um

we should also bring my husband on to

our trivia team because what I've

noticed Vance and I have very different

approaches to things especially when it

comes to trivia Vance is like there's

nothing I can't figure out if you like

give me enough time so he'll get real

like I can just like process of

my way to the

correct yes and that is not me I know

the fact or I don't I don't sit like

that is just not how my brain works so

when we play trivia together I hear the

question and I'm either like I know this

answer or I don't know this answer and

pance is like give me a few minutes

we'll get there and I'm like the [ __ ]

you feels like like like a a perfect

example of your whole relationship

though yes yes where you're like I've

got it or oh [ __ ] and Vance is like

we'll get there the man's life motto is

why worry twice there you go like 1,000%

I like that okay so back into Hades has

a gun and the blessing to [ __ ] [ __ ] up

yep so um he gets to Zeus's office and

um he hears sex sounds from the bathroom

and he's like

like oh [ __ ] like if he's hurting

panie oh [ __ ] like I'll never forgive

myself he starts to freak out but then

he listens and he's like that's not her

that's not her that's not her so he

hides and he waits the girl leaves and

Zeus comes out and then Hades confronts

him um my notes say fight scene it's a

lot I appreciate that it tells me all I

need to know yeah so Hades in the midst

of this decides that he can't kill Zeus

because that would just make him just as

bad as him um the window Shadows

shatters at some point during the

fight and he tries to get Zeus to stop

he's like listen

man yeah maybe we shouldn't and Zeus

won't listen and then just falls out of

the window like takes a wild punch

because he's so like and R adrenaline

and he doesn't realize the window has

shattered and he falls out of it so

Hades doesn't push him Hades does not

push him Hades in fact tries to catch

him he like oh but he misses um and so

um Hades is like

well

oops so he goes to leave demer per

Stephanie's mom is waiting outside the

office and she's like don't worry I'll

clean up and like puts gloves on and

he's like her mom is both

terrifying and kind of inspirational

yeah yeah like yeah I never want to go

up against her but you want her on your

team right like I feel like I would like

to get to know her but I wouldn't want

to have a relationship with

her touche you know what I mean I want

to meet her at a dinner party never yes

yes yes yes um so I want to play trivia

with

her um so he goes home he's super

depressed because he's like well now per

Stephanie is safe and she can be free

like I got to let her go so he's really

depressed because she didn't put in the

letter that she left him that she wanted

to stay with him and that's why she was

doing this right I mean she say she was

going to fix everything for everyone

which come on Hades believe in yourself

man you've had a lot of conversations

about your love for each other but we

didn't get there so but that one

sentence was missing from the letter

right so Pan's mom um comes back and

sends her back to Hades and tells her um

that they both need to be at the press

conference about Zeus's

death that's that's hades's first public

appearance with me for the year

go deal with that and P Stephanie is

like coming up with a whole plan of like

how I'm going to convince him that this

is a good idea and that he wants to be

with me and that six events a year is

not that bad and hopefully he won't be

mad and she's like going through this

whole thing and um she's just so

grateful when yeah he's just so excited

he's like she's like so I made a deal

with my mom and he's like sounds good

and she's like do you want to know the

deal and he's like you're here

he's like don't really care uh so they

go to the press conference it's really

sweet and wonderful cuz she like

deflects from him because everybody's

like ha is is real and she's like don't

worry about it like look how cute I am

like um so he asked her to move in with

him all the Declarations of love so then

we get to the epilog okay and they are

super in love everything's going great

great they do a finally they do a full

scene on stage oh um in The Sex Dungeon

and everyone is happy the end that's

what my notes

say you know yeah all right to your

point from earlier there were some plot

holes as far as just like suspending

belief about the which to Katie Robert's

credit I do imagine that's like a

delicate balance in a retelling MH right

I appreciate even the nod with the six

events right um and pomegranate as our

safe word mhm yeah yeah okay so are are

pomegranates yeah let's do pomegranates

is there anything else that we would

throw puppies puppies but I a half a

puppy feels wrong so just do no only

whole puppies are allowed here half a

pomegranate is fine though yeah you're

like how many ounces of pomegranate

juice how many pomegranate seeds they're

six

out of six I got into a debate one time

with um like my parents were like having

a dinner party with some of their

friends and they like had their kids

over who were like my also like when I

say my age I was like a freshman in

college we were not like children right

and I was debating how many pomegranate

seeds it was six yeah it was [ __ ] a

it was six I'm still pissed about this

is so spicy you're like wow no I I don't

even remember the kid's name he was like

he was 13 but he had a genius IQ and was

like a Mena member was their son and he

was like it was three I'm a Mena member

and his sisters were like you can't just

use that as your argument for why you're

right and I was like I've taken actual

like I took a whole Greek mythology

class yep in college um but he was like

no it's three seeds I'm a Mena member I

still remember that fens M like it's six

I'm like [ __ ] yeah was

six I've been saying this since the

early ODS aggressive late no the OTS the

OTS okay pomegranate seed pomegranate

seeds we're going to go out of six yep

um you know I'm going to say four that's

what I was thinking yeah cuz it's a

really enjoyable read but I feel like we

missed an opportunity with some of the

World building okay of like an

explanation for why is Olympus separate

from the rest of the world where did

these Wards come from you know yeah

stuff that isn't really necessarily

relevant to the story but this is a

series so it follows other members of

the 13 I haven't read any of the other

ones I wonder if there's more World

building like if we get more explanation

in future books right so I don't know if

that happens or if it takes away from

future stories that we don't know it it

might be totally irrelevant touche I

don't know maybe maybe a future

character does end up at UC Berkeley

maybe who can say but I actually I felt

the same just listening to the review I

was like I haven't read it but I'm

feeling I was like more than like

average like and not one where're like

it was one out of six we should have

burned it big yikes like but I was like

that really enjoyable but also some plot

holes yeah okay four out of six final

offer

um let us know what y'all think what you

would rate it mhm more or less would you

do Thrones instead of pomegranate seeds

if you tell us you would rate a any any

puppy Parts just don't puppy Parts puppy

parts please no puppy Parts but if you

recommend the second book which I think

is electric Idol um let me know cuz I

haven't read it but I will if somebody

tells me it's decent should Hannah keep

reading the series yeah keep me posted

did yeah thanks guys have a great day

thanks for listening by mlut bye well

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