EP 45: Dying to Love by Reese Rivers

well hello All You Beautiful


People you know what time it

is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

everyone in

between gather around get you something

real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

your hosts chelse and


Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut

club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and

thanks for joining us are you driving to

work today are you sitting on your couch

with a glass of wine because your kids

finally are doing something and you

don't need to entertain them what

cleaning the house maybe why are we

giving people suggestions on what to do

while they I was I was just wondering

what they were doing oh

okay and yeah it could also be a

suggestion I've had people suggest worse

things to me than drinking a glass of

wine while I listen to a podcast that's

true I'm like if that's the worst

suggestion I could could make like I

didn't say there were bad suggestions I

just was wondering at the intention no

but I have I have sometimes wondered I'm

like what do most people like I know

some people are like oh my drive to work

is the time it's when I'm folding

laundry so it was kind of a legitimate

question because I am curious what

people do when they listen to our

podcast because I was talking to someone

and they were like

yeah my friend was listening to your

haunted vagina episode when they walked

into like Target or something and deeply

regretted it like walked in and they're

like oh no this is not a podcast episode

you listen to him public and it got me

thinking about it well one of I told you

I think one of the girls that I work

with texted me and said so I listen to

True Crime podcast to go to sleep and I

accidentally left it on autoplay and

when I I woke up to the haunted vagina

because I've subscribed to your podcast

what a memorable

episode yes but I'm just saying it's a

legit like yeah and there are there are

some episodes of this podcast that yes

you can be in public listening to this

I'm like this also isn't a podcast well

no shame if this is you as a parent but

I can't imagine that some of these

episodes you're listening to while

you're driving your child to school

right if you are your child is probably

dope as [ __ ] I'm was going to say that's

a cool ass kid they get

it okay so all that said what book are

we reviewing today Hannah we are

reviewing dying to Love by reys

Rivers not that this matters in in the

slightest is Reese with a C or an s s i

feel like it's different personalities

is it is it like the difference between

an i and a y at the end of a name yeah

like Tracy versus

Tracy yeah you know the I mhm makes them

just a little sassier yeah yeah is the S

what does the s versus the C

mean I feel like the sea would be

sassier I feel like I've

seen s more historically for males and C

more for females now that like when I

like think about

it I have never thought about

it I hadn't until now you're

getting live unfiltered

coverage we're externally processing

thank you for joining us on this

journey damn it what was the name and

what was the last name all I remember is

Rees dying to Love by Rees Rivers by

Reese Rivers yep do you think that's a

real name probably not dope if it is it

would be super cool if it was yeah yeah

I like to think my baby's name being

Ford fight sounds it does sound pretty

like he could be like in a cartoon or I

was going to say it sounds like a a

Marvel character yeah it was intentional

it totally was not I was going to say

was it chelse you're like Chelsea your

child is the third he has the exact same

name as his father and his grandfather

for the sake of of I wasn't going to

bring it up but my face did it for me

your face 1,00% brought it up so I was

like well [ __ ] I guess I should own this

okay dying to Love by Rees rers with an

s yes so um we are in a zombie

apocalypse so coming out strong yeah so

just setting the scene you know so

Kelsey is our main chick um she when we

come upon her and Kelsey is with an ey

by the way um I do feel like that is the

Chelsea is a ea and Kelsey is an ey Y

and I do feel as though those are the

appropriate those are the correct

spellings and I'm so sorry if that's not


spelling but as a as a

Chelsea I do feel that one that's fair

you are allowed to have that do you feel

strongly about the final h on Hannah no

I don't I don't I like it I like having

an H at the

end CU then my name is the same forwards

and backwards which is fun we do love a

paland drum we do love a palindrome but

no it doesn't bother me what does bother

me and shouldn't is the H at the end of

Sarah I wish that everybody could just

agree that there is or isn't one because

I do not get offended if somebody leaves

the H off yeah but I have never met a

Sarah that does not get offended if I

add an H or accidentally leave it off

I'm like I'm so sorry so there's

something specific to Sarah's in my

experience I won't say it's all Sarah

but so Southern Sarah Southern Sarah

apparently have a thing about it I don't

know do they have a thing about it or do

they have a thing about when you do it


no I don't know why I made that joke I

said it I was like

wow okay so that's the energy we're

bring in today that's cool not it's

really not if it is that's okay I just

need to prepare oh no I don't want that

energy Okay but well I guess I was

thinking of it because I used to have

people that like if they called me chel

some people could call me chel and some

people I would like lose my [ __ ] if they

did and now I'm just like whatever I

can't will myself to care enough about

this in this season of life it felt more

important when you're younger right um

but I think that was kind of where my

thought was but then the way my question

came off sounded so [ __ ] and biting um

because I do think that there are people

where I'm like yeah I'm like you know

yeah maybe it was just a Sarah that like

you had a lot of beef with did you steal

her boyfriend I'm creating a whole did

not I did not I I don't think I've ever

stolen a boyfriend that I know of from a

Sarah or in general just generally okay

yeah important to clear she's like

because if there's an alternative I need

to know the story please that's that's

what you're clearly I'm digging for tea

that doesn't exist I can make some up if

you want well there's enough tea in this

book that I just I haven't even gotten

us to so I apologize we're in a zombie

apocalypse yes and we're with Kelsey she

is extremely depressed she hasn't been

taking care of herself and

she it's like she's starting to come out

of a depressive episode where she

realizes that she smells her house

smells like she's like oh no and her

best friend friend shows up and tells

her that she's a disgrace to all women

she's like get it together have a hen

party this is not funny like figure your

[ __ ] out so her friend is not

necessarily sympathetic to her mental

health Journey no friend is very much

like kicking the ass moment here so

um she goes to like continue the

conversation with her friend and her

friend is

gone and um she's like you know what I

am going to get my [ __ ] together Tara

was right Tara's our friend and so she

cleans up and she starts thinking about

how it's been two years a little over

two years since the Dead Rose um and a

little over a year since she's talked to

another person this her internal

dialogue happening okay so zombie

apocalypse has been going on for like 2

years MH and she has been alone for the

last year mhm wow so we have some mental

health things happening as well in this

one um so she is on a compound with two

with with three campers so two are like

storage at this

point um she has essentially a small

farm she has solar panels a greenhouse I

mean she has like this really amazing

setup um so she decides that she's going

to get all dressed up so she goes and

she does her hair and her makeup she has

a spa day and then she goes out to have

a dance party with her chickens it's

literally a hen party oh yep cuz there's

nobody else there

so a she just has a party with her

chickens which have hilarious names by

the way like Snookie and cardi and

like she just has chats with them

so am I correct in assuming that like

the book would be set like if we were

currently in in AO a zombie apocalypse

yeah okay yeah it's very contemporary um

so she's dancing Ing and having a great

time she has earbuds in um so as not to

attract zombies so she's dancing around

having a good time and then um an

external alarm starts going off so

around the compound there are two fences

there's an inner fence in an outer fence

that are alarmed and have barb wire and

all this other [ __ ] on them so she races

to the fence and when she goes through

the inner fence between the two fences

she comes on five

men and she's like

uh one of them is very injured obviously


bleeding and so not zombies real not

zombies real men real live men and uh

the other four are armed one of them

starts to point his gun at her because

it seemed like she startled him when she

came around the corner and she just very

casually takes him out like just like

nothing yep and holds a gun to his neck

gets him disarmed and is like everybody

else please put your weapons down thank

you so much like loving this energy yeah

she's very she's pretty kickass um and

so zombies are on the outer fence so

there's a pressure sensor that was

causing the alarm um so there is now a

horde of zombies like pushed against the

fence I'm assuming the zombies were

following the men and then the men made

it in in our safe and okay yeah um and

so she has a system to draw zombies away

so she has like uh speaker set up at

various points away from her compound so

she just started playing who let the

dogs out and all the zombies started

going towards it and then she plays

another song and so she's leading them

away okay um and then she has fireworks

set up even further away so she sets the

fireworks off and then they all go um

and then the guys are like imagine

having to reset that well that's res the

fireworks that's the whole thing yeah so

she like is just casually doing this

from a cell phone and the guys are all

like what the [ __ ] is happening right

now like oh

like like they are all very clearly like

have no [ __ ] clue wait what were they


Hannah I did that to somebody the other

day I was like they were like what and

she went shut the [ __ ] up I was like

okay I thought it was funny anyway um so

she realizes that all these guys are hot

except maybe the injured one cuz he she

can't really see him she's very very but

you know way to not count him out fully

right she's like who would know so um so

one of the guys um Devin she learns his

name is is being an absolute [ __ ]

and he's like whatever princess like

obviously ly you were having a great

time because she's in a party dress with

her hair and makeup

done and so they're all like is this a

fever dream like what is happening yeah

so she uh just doesn't acknowledge Him

any further at that point and um he the

guy she's holding thanks her he's like

thank you for your help like getting the

zombies away whatever yeah he's like

we're not all all douches we recognize

that you were very helpful here exactly

thank you and he asks her name and so

she's like well it's Kelsey and he's

like thank you Kelsey and she almost

starts crying because nobody she hasn't

heard anybody say her name and so long

it's really like it was a really like a


um yeah like even if you've never had

mental health issues in your entire life

yes a year of isolation

yes mhm yeah she's not doing well no I

had a former client who had been like

incarcerated for a decade and had spent

a year on and like in and out of

solitary and like the conversations we

would have just about like that amount

of time mhm alone it does something like

yes we were not made to do that no we

were very much made to be like known and

in community yes to be seen and to


all of that so she is unwell like

mentally she's unwell at this point um

she's not sure if she's going to let

them stay so she doesn't let them into

the gates also real fast is her mental

health like an ongoing thing throughout

the book or is that just like okay yeah

so she doesn't lead them through the

inner fence she leads them around to

another area she says they can stay

there for the night yeah and then they

will decide what they're going to do

tomorrow um and so feels very reasonable

she pulls it is very reasonable and very

kind because it's the apocalypse so she

pulls out her phone and texts a phone

like obviously so that they think there

are more people in the

compound um and uh she takes their guns

and then she Eaves drops on talking to

them about how they had a farm that was

overrun and they've been running ever

since and they haven't been able to rest

and they're almost out of supplies one

of the guys is like but did you see that

chick though I will marry her he was

like so excited about it and she's like

we're just going to he hasn't seen a

woman in a long

time she's like in fairness to him yeah

she's like so flattered and can put this

in some realistic perspective right

we're going to S consider the context of

his spontaneous proposal and recognize

that no so do we know how long they've

been on the Run not at this point okay

um it doesn't I don't know that we ever

find out exactly how long um but it's

been a minute that they've been running

um and so she makes them a huge

breakfast she's gotten a ton of supplies

together um and so she takes all of that

out with a medkit for the guy that's

injured and everything um she still

hasn't decided if she's going to let

them stay she really wants them to

because she doesn't want to be alone but

she also is aware that like she doesn't

know these men they could very easily

harm her or kick her her take her

farm so um she's decided she's going to

do some tests I I know we aren't that

far into this book but like so far I

have to say I really

appreciate that she's like competent yes

and not an idiot um cuz I feel like

there's so many books where you're just

reading and you're like honey like who

is this helpless right like basic Common

Sense would save you here right and I

feel like I'm like oh she's like very



and very like smart in how she's mapping

things out and I really appreciate that

versus just like

the well four men showed up and he's a

cute boy yeah right exactly and she's

very she is very careful and it's it's

obvious that she's incredibly smart like

the way that she plays things so there

introductions we have Lincoln who is

essentially like their deao leader okay

Devin Grayson and Oliver Devon is the

douchebag Grayson is the one who wants

to marry her and Oliver seems very quiet


reserved so gray then proposes to her

face so he said it to the guys last

night but she brings some eggs and he's

like will you marry me I mean she hadn't

even done anything thoughtful yet and he

was ready to propose right and then she

made him breakfast and he's like I knew

it he's like no further proof is needed

right nailed it this is the girl of my

dreams and she's

like wanting to yell like yes and then

she's like the [ __ ] is wrong with me

like simmer down babe like he's cute and

all but could also be a rapist or a

murderer so maybe like

honey right exactly um so she brought

their guns back and dropped feel like a

sign of good faith mhm yeah dropped the

bag with the guns in it so that it would

like open a little bit so they could see

what was in it because she was trying to

see if one of them was going to try to

pull a gun on her and so um they eat and

she starts working on the injured guy um

and she's very clearly also had medical

training the way that she's talking and

the way that she's treating him and

all um and it turns out they don't even

know this

guy when they were running from the

hoorde the he got flushed out of where

he was hiding and started running with

them and then got injured so she's like

what's his name and they're like Gavin

like I think and she's like oh dear so

he's very unwell at this point yeah um

and she's also like super shocked they

didn't just leave him because obviously

he was slowing them down um and Devon is

like what do you think that we monsters

or something and she's like no I just

think that humans have a drive to

survive and I'm surprised you would put

your survival at risk for someone you

don't know like very valid maybe cool

your jets with the attitude sir I did

bring you

eggs um do my eggs mean nothing to you

um so so aren't you allergic to eggs no

Vance had an egg Sensi sensitivity for a

while okay okay which I don't know it if

he still has that sensitivity we haven't

got him retested in a while um cuz we

figured out that he had a lot of other

health stuff going on and so I think as

we've been working on all of that Health

stuff like the smaller things like food

sensitivities have been resolving

themselves a little bit more that makes


yeah um no honestly I was thinking of

when um when I was dating the guy that I

was dating before I met my husband and

one time he made me eggs it was not my

proudest moment they were very runny in

a way that it kind of freaked me out and

he like brought me the plate of food he'

made me and I literally L was like thank

you so much could you cook these eggs a

little bit longer and I had a coworker

who was like you absolutely did not do

that I was like no I did like I just

asked him like cook the cook the eggs a

little bit longer and she's like Chelsea

that man made you breakfast and you

shaten his

breakfast no you didn't because you

would have been grossed out and not

eaten them yeah now mind

you I may have criti other things he did

as well and we were not a great match

long term which is why I'm not married

to him and I'm married to my husband who

everyone thinks is a great match I agree

yeah everyone just wants to hang out

with Vance all the time in fact I've

told people when I'm like coming to town

to visit and they're like so excited to

see you but also is Vance

coming a you know there are worse things

than having people really love your

husband yes you know what would be worth

having someone really hate your husband

and then never getting invited places

yeah or they were like if when I say I'm

coming to visit and they're asking if

Vance is coming it's because if I say

he's coming they're like oh no we have

plans oh [ __ ] we're busy that weekend I

was like I didn't tell you what weekend

they're like

oh awkward right um but no I frequently

think whenever I am like thinking about

breakfast food and eggs and making food

for people I think about that moment cuz

I honestly feel really bad for like how

I treated him at times and at like I get

I just asked him to make some to heat

the eggs a little bit longer but my

co-workers were all like Chelsea

no what you were such a [ __ ] and I was

but for other

reasons it was not the eggs people it

was not the eggs it was not no the eggs

were just

like well I was going to say like the

the cherry on top or the straw that

birth or like something like that but I

was going to try and also make it a

breakfast pun and I just couldn't get

there fast enough I understand now I'm

trying to do it and I I can't either

because I'm trying yeah I I like you're

like the the pad of butter on top of the

pancake stack no it doesn't work we're

going to cut our losses before we go

down this Rabbit Hole too deeply um I'm

only half of one hard toppo Chico in and

I feel a little more tingly than I

expected so well then that would the

rest of this is going to be really

interesting then so hyped so hyped so as

she's as the other guys are eating and

she's working on the other guy she sees

Devon reach for the guns and so she

throws a knife that misses his hand by

like an inch and doesn't even

acknowledge acknowledge it she's just

really sad that they're not trustworthy

um and so she tells them about a backup

location that she has that they can go

stay at that there's a month of supplies

there these are the directions this is

what you need to do for dude buddy to

keep him keep him well

um and help him get better but you're

not welcome here anymore right thank you

so much for being here so long

right um so the other guys keep saying

her name um and she is really really

upset obviously um so she goes to leave

but then Devon blocks her way and she

starts to tear up because she's like he

is going to make me do something I don't

want to do right now like she's like

preparing herself to like take him out

because she's like obviously he's not

trustworthy I'm not safe um but he

instead he gets on her knee on his knees

and tells her to shoot him if it means

the other guys can stay oh damn and so I

forgot to mention we have everybody's

perspective in this so we now switch to

Lincoln who also goes by link um he's

terrified that she's going to kill him

kill Devon um but he's also really

pissed at him he's like this was our are

shot dude like this is a community of

people obviously it's safe like we could

like we could have built a life here and

you you [ __ ] us over basically he's

very confused about why they continue to

send out this gorgeous girl who's

clearly underfed out to deal with five

men he's like I'm not a fan of the

leadership here if that's the plan valid

question though

um yeah I mean for she because she set

it up

so intentionally that they think that

there's a whole community that they're

pissed at the madeup leadership right so

um he really really likes Kelsey he

thinks she's gorgeous she's obviously

very sweet very caring and so then Devon

actually reaches for Kelsey's hand and

like puts the gun to his head and he

like please do it please let them stay

like don't I I'm sorry like whatever and

so she starts like full body shaking and

dro the gun and is like don't you ever

say anything like that again and like

takes off and starts sobbing and they're

all like the [ __ ] just happened like

what what just

happened and so um Lincoln then punches

Devon in the

face and then they put all her gun with

their guns and he's like nobody touches

the guns until the people here give us

permission don't [ __ ] touch anything

like yeah don't move so we go back to

Kelsey so she is sobbing as Tara her

bestie shows up and gives her a pep talk

and tells her she needs to let these

people stay like she needs them at this

point so where does Tara


nowhere yeah oh yeah so that's like we

get hints of it like throughout this and

the details where Tara like is

disappearing or whatever or show show up

in like some crazy outfit or something

she's not real and so it's just very

like it's very sad so but Tara is

telling her she needs these guys like

she is not doing well and if she doesn't

have more people she's not going to make

it and so um she goes back to the guys

they thank her for the help and um Devon

tries to say that he'll just go like you

don't have to kill me or anything but I

will leave I will never bother you again

please let every

day and the other guys are like nope

it's we're all together and so she leads

them around and this is like the final

test where she's waiting to see they're

all behind her they think she's kicking

them out she's waiting to see if they

attack her as she leads them around but

they don't and so she leads them into

the the inner gate and they're all

freaking out not like outwardly

but keep it

cool so um back to link he's super

excited and then he sees all the crops

and he's like holy [ __ ] like this is

amazing um and all the solar panels but


like where are the people there's nobody

working in the fields no great question



um and so then he focuses back on Elsey

she's being all awkward and flirty like

she tries to flirt and then it's like

she realizes what she did and she's like

oh no and it's just really really cute

and he's like could you please do that

all the time cuz I'm into it um so then

Oliver finally asks where everyone is

and she's like oh it's just

me it's like crickets and they stop

moving and so it's back to Kelsey and

she's like why is everybody just staring

at me what's the big deal right and then

she's like oh right no it's just me

okay um and so they they don't believe

her and so she's like well it has been

414 days of just me

so um

414 yeah yeah godamn so they were like

there's no way you set this up on your

own and she's like that's accurate I did

not I've been alone for 44 14 days any

further questions and they're like have

some time on my hands right right so

um Lincoln is like we're going to help

you with chores like you tell us like

we're here to this is a home like want

we live here now we are like we will

help we will participate we will do all

of the tasks that need to be done to

keep this place running exactly like we

want to be a part of this with you and

so she starts like like stumbling over

her words because he's so hot and so um

she he's like we'll help you with

whatever chores or work needs to be done

and she's like oh I'll get you dirty and

then she like heard what she said she's

like no I'll work you no I'm going to go

and just leaves to go hang out with the

chickens and she's talking to them for a

little bit and she's like

um Snookie cardi this is for the two of

you keep your breasts feather there are

men here with a capital E and she's

like having a a talking to with the

chickens um I mean she has been alone


414 days BL and there's like another

room behind there's like a cavern and

that's where the chickens stay most of

the time but there's like another room

behind it that has a gym so she goes and

locks herself in there to take a nap um

because she's exhausted um Devon

followed her and heard her chicken

conversation and he's like

okay well she is [ __ ] nuts um I mean

he's not

wrong right um he is

also a bit of a

dick that

too yeah um so he tells the other guys

he's like I don't trust this situation

and they're like you don't trust


and he's like listen all of y'all are

obviously into her this is going to get

Messy as [ __ ] like I don't want to deal

with it um he says we did that once and

it almost destroyed us we're not doing

that [ __ ] again and they're

like we've been here a cool 20 minutes

my guy you're already like planning

ahead looks like all four of us are into



um and probably the injured guy as well

probably if he's conscious enough

probably um so yeah if he's

conscious I mean he probably hasn't seen

a woman in a minute okay well taking

away the fact that like they like

probably haven't seen one in a minute I

do think that is like I don't know where

you land on this spectrum when I don't

feel well when I'm sick there is nothing

sexy I'm like don't look at me don't


me bring me

soup and comfort foods and like leave me

alone outside of that and I swear my

husband can have like 103° fever and

he's like you you want to dick down I'm

like you down a clown like yeah and I'm

like no you need to rest and he's like

well I'll just lay on my back then and

you're like we can

adapt I'm like I I was like I I don't

understand it and I don't think I was

prepared for that

like it never dawned on me no um because

I'm like surely when other people feel

sick they also feel like like there's

nothing sexy about this yeah and my

husband can like honestly like have a

stomach bug and be curled around a

toilet bowl but if I was like it's time

he'd be like we'll make it work and I

don't get

it I don't know that's all people I

don't I don't know I don't know my

husband is not like that no when Mt is

sick he's not into

it well which is good cuz I'm not like

it's not like I'm missing

out you're like sick men really do it

for me right I have a Florence n Andale

thing like no I


sorry what's your Kink Florence night

Andale and then you never say anything

else you never expand it's the bonnet

the Bonnet now I'm just Imaging Matt and


bonnet oh my God yeah for those who

don't know my husband has a very large

silver Gray

beard with a bonnet that'd be the whole

ass Vibe it it's

something I would like to get that as a

sticker for my water bottle just a

picture like cartoon picture of Matt

with his beard wearing a bonnet I did

get this whole this whole thing happened

my dad thinks he's funny and decided to

pretend he didn't know who my husband

was he was like who's Matt okay Dad

you're really funny so for Christmas

Matt got him socks with that you could

personalize with his face all over the

socks incredible it was pretty awesome

and so then my dad of course

reciprocated by giving Matt socks with

his face on them so they will sometimes

wear them they'll coordinate that's

actually really sweet it's really cute

it's really cute but I was like oh okay

have you seen those like viral Tik toks

where like like the whole friend group

will be going out to dinner and all of

the girls bought their like Partners

matching shirts and the guys didn't know

then like every couple who gets to the

restaurant the guy is wearing the shirt

that like every other guy at the table

is wearing and so then you have like it

gets funnier and funnier as each couple

shows up to the bar right and they're

realizing and I'm like well those videos

are hilarious to watch my husband is so

particular about what he wears it would

never work never I would never be able

to do that no no Matt is so but I think

for different reasons like Matt is like

it if the texture of something is a

little bit off he can't do it he all of

his shirts are at least least one size

too big because if it touches his

armpits he will lose his [ __ ] so like he

is very specific whenever we go anywhere

he's not even looking at the shirts he's

just touching them to see if he likes

the texture and if he likes the texture

it almost doesn't matter what it looks

like interesting yeah he's a very

sensory sort of person for

sure I get that like there are sweaters

that like like this sweater is you and

then you wear it for all of 5 minutes

and you're like this needs to come off

of me immediately I cannot wear this mhm

I respect it all right where were we um

oh Devin is making plans oh yeah um so

uh Oliver points out he's like obviously

she hasn't been eating like she is

underweight even with all of this food

around um and Devon needs to stop being

a dick because if she doesn't feel safe

and comfortable with them she's

certainly not going to start eating now

so button it down and then Deb is like

well I really hope that she is full of

[ __ ] with all of this kindness because

if she's not we're [ __ ] like I hope

that she's not genuine because I can't

like because I can't let myself go there

exact like the vulnerability of it he's

like not into it so um we're back to I

can't let myself believe she could be

real exactly because if I do and I let

myself want something it's not going to

end well for me so I they are in a

zombie apocalypse I don't think that

well and we find out later like all of

them obviously went through some [ __ ]

when it all started but his was like the

worst of it for sure and so he like has

never come out of it that makes sense um

so we're back to Kelsey she gets up to

make lunch for the guys and they're like

you really don't need to cook for us

like we are not guests like we're we're

here to stay um and she's like I just

got out stuff for sandwiches um and so

then Oliver makes her a sand like makes

a sandwich and then puts it on her plate

and she's like what what are you what

are you doing cuz she obviously wasn't

going to eat and he's like I'm not

eating if you don't eat so I'll just

look at you until you eat and so she

does um and she's like that's really

sweet like nobody nobody has cared

obviously in a long time um so she tells

them the history about how she had a

group of friends two couples that um

they when everything started they set

this place up and um they had been best

friends for like their whole lives um

she was in a pretty shitty situation

growing up she was a medical student um

and had almost completed her residency

which is how she's so good at the


stuff um the two guys in the friend

group had a whole plan so they set

everything up and then the two guys and

one of the girls went on a supply run

and they never came back and so it was

just her and Tara that were left so

Devin asks what happened to Tara and

Kelsey obviously starts to panic and so

Oliver is like hey will you show me the

crops like I just want to put Oliver in

my pocket he's like so

sweet um and then she realizes that he

is holding her hand like he took her

hand to like take her away from the

table and then never let it go and she's

like oh oh my God and so um we're to

Oliver's point of view now so he

realizes she's freaking out and so um

she starts talking to him she shares

more about their story and their like

the setup and he's like she's really

smart and I really like her like she's

been working really hard and like I'm

really into this and so um like like

she's clearly not like doing great in

this moment but like right seeing Beyond

her current struggles exactly like she's

obviously brilliant she's obviously a

really hard worker and all she needs is

a little bit of support and she's going

to be like over the top amazing um so he

leans in to kiss her and then um gray

walks in and so they go to check on the


guy and uh gray thinks that his [ __ ]

blocking is hilarious so Oliver punches

him um okay I feel like I need to move

faster um

so she's like she does not want to get

involved with any of these guys cuz she

doesn't do drama she's like not she

doesn't want to deal with all of that so

she's like everybody's in the friend

zone so injured Guy starts having a

seizure and gives her a black eye like

from the jerking and stuff and she

realizes that that he has tetanus and

he's not going to get better um cuz he's

got the lock jaw and stuff starting so

like the paralysis and everything is

starting um and uh yeah there's more

like tension between her and Devon the

other guys are clearly like trying to

get in it like they're into it um and

they have all discussed that they're all

cool sharing her but they haven't told

her that because again they've been

there for like a cool 3 hours

and so maybe slow down a little bit also

like yes in a situation like this you do

need to know that everyone is about it

and it does feel a little weird to like

be like so we know we've all been here

for a few hours but we all talked about

it we're willing to share you right

you're like oh I feel so honored I also

think for Kelsey too she's like how long

has it been since they've seen a woman

like this isn't about them being into me

this is about about them like which I

don't disag agree like even if like she

is all of those incredible things right

like if she's been on her own that long

and they've all been their cohort for

that long MH like she's not wrong right

right there is some level

of like locational geographical

convenience right right location


location um um

so there's like this really cute moment

where Oliver is like please rest like

you know please rest and she's like well

no I need to make spaghetti for dinner

and he's like no you just need to rest

and she's like spaghetti's easy I can

make spaghetti in my sleep like as she's

falling asleep and he's like okay honey

you do that you make some spaghetti in

your sleep it'll be great and it's like

just really cute and wholesome um so she

makes spaghetti everybody's very sweet

after after she wakes up from her nap

mhm um and uh not during not during she

was unsuccessful with making it making

it in her sleep so um she gives them all

cell phones um from their like stash of

stuff she explains all the security

measures um Grayson turns out is a tech

guy so he's really excited and is like

taking a look at everything to see if

anything needs to be tuned up so then

that night we're at Lincoln's point of

view Kelsey starts having a nightmare um

and wakes like the whole camper in the

middle of the night they're all in one

camper because Gavin is it's not safe to

be in the camper with Gavin because

apparently it doesn't matter if you get

bit if you die you become a zombie

period so oh yeah so it's not like a

dise doesn't matter what kills you right

it's just like everyone comes back to

life now mhm so if he dies overnight

while all the guys are sleeping

obviously it would be really bad so

they're all in the same C camper with

Kelsey um

so um she goes outside to drink whiskey

and smoke a cigarette and

um Devin um he and Devon talk about it


it's it's just really weird that Devon

is like obviously wants her but doesn't

and like Lincoln is over his [ __ ]

he's like just just shut up just shut up

like just shut up stop bro um so in the

morning uh Kelsey realizes that a

chicken escaped and so she goes out to

chase it in basically a see-through

white sleep set and everybody's like oh

hello hello like imagine like prairie

dogs like up on the back of their legs

like hello um so link is like we're just

going to cover her up a little bit um

and uh listens to them uh listens to her

tell the chickens that they need to get

their [ __ ] together so the guys won't

leave she's like we can't be playing

this game anymore ladies get it together

um uh yeah and so then he kisses her

after she realizes he overheard her

talking to her chickens and she's really

embarrassed link yeah she kiss is link

and then Oliver comes in and says that

breakfast is ready and she's like

oh my God like I almost kissed Oliver

yesterday I just kissed link like this

is oh my god um so she tries to

apologize to him and he's like this is

where he broaches with like it's

cool we wouldn't mind if you wanted all

of us so

hypothetically exactly um and

so um he's like anything you do with any

of us is okay with everybody else if you

you want all of us that's great if you

want one of us that's great like

whatever you want is okay um and she's

like that doesn't make sense like I

don't get it um so

she they the guys made breakfast so they

go to eat Devon says something that

really embarrasses her and so she

doesn't eat and Oliver is so pissed he's

like dude we talked about this she has

to eat and so she's like why are

they why are they trying to take care of

me so hard like it's weird so um

a yeah so feel so bad for her I know

it's really sad because it's obvious

that like she had this chosen family

before all of this started and then it

seemed like they were going to make it

like they had this amazing setup and

then everything went wrong um but um

yeah so she's showing them around

there's a Secret store room that is like

this is the big deal like obviously I've

shown them a lot but this is like where

the valuable stuff is

essentially um and she's definitely

hallucinating Tara and having

conversations with her um and she

realizes that one of the guys saw her

doing that and I was like well great now

they know I'm really [ __ ] nuts um so


she makes out with


um yeah she tells the guys she's just

really confused she's like do you guys

have a bet or something to see who I'm

going to sleep with first like I don't I

don't get it

um and so they try to like reassure her

but she's she just kind of pulls back um

she does finally go out and sit down but

Devon picks up her feet and

starts massaging them he's like you've

been working all day a woman who's been

on her feet all day gets a foot rub you

know and she's like what the [ __ ] is

happening and the guys are obviously

like trying to

like move things along yeah like it's

been 3 days but they are impatient

they're like we are ready to make

something happen here

um three days both feels

like I get where that could feel like a

lot of time but I also get where in


it's not that is like no time at all

well and two I guess it's also a little

bit different because there aren't as

many distractions like cell phones and

TV and internet and stuff and so it is

just them working in the fields yeah


eggs and just being together um very

simple little farm life with literally

no one else around exactly um so we get

Devon's point of view um and they all

start sharing about around the table

about their lives before so link was a

firefighter um and when everything

started he went and picked up Grayson

from his office when they went home um

Oliver was already there he was an

engineer and she asks Devan where he was

and he says um he was in hell period and

like won't give her any more information

and she's

like okay

um and so then they hear injured guy

banging on the door and he he died um so

he started like moaning and stuff and

they knew he was a zombie so they take

Kelsey away so she doesn't have to deal

with it Devon takes her away the rest of

the guys deal with it um and uh they

make out a lot I mean it's a great

distraction yeah Devon is ready to move

physically not emotionally um important

distinction here we are

reserved emotionally he's a little

atrophied so then so she has nightmares

pretty consistently so Devon starts

getting up at night because he doesn't

sleep he gets up at night to comfort her

and they start


connecting no they start connecting more

well Hannah you were just waving your

hands around making a face like you get

what I'm putting out there right and I'm

like I really

don't there are so many different places

a zombie reverse herum could go that's

just like making eyes at me and waving

your hands I'm like I don't actually

know where we're ending up I just want

to say I just want to say that given the

books that I have reviewed previously I

realized when I told you that I was

reviewing a zombie apocalypse reverse

Harum I was like she's going to think

that it's zombie sex like assume I did I

did assume you're not wrong I was like

oh no listen you know what Hannah we've

still reviewed all of those books it is

an open-minded safe space for zombie sex

I would have I would have reviewed it

with you I know you would I know it

makes me think of Bob's Burgers because

Tina is obsessed with with zombies she

thinks they're really hot

anyway um do you remember when you and I

used to work together and we had access

and controlled the overall calendar for

like all of the clinical operations in

the entire company who did

that so we all have access to it and

whenever we need to schedule a new team

meeting we'd like be really intentional

about what we chose not really real like

and to be fair no one else looked at the

calendar outside of us but every every

now and then like or like VP would look

at it and you'd be like so what's this

event on the company calendar called

Catal wine mixer I was going to say what

was the one that was like um potluck

recipe swap or something like that we

had we had one that was also your booze

mean nothing I've seen who you cheer

for yeah yeah on the

official company calendar they got rid

of I think 95% of our sassy things over

time but one or two have lived on I'm

really glad yeah I'm guessing the

Catalina wine mixer didn't make it yeah

I don't think Cataline Catalina Catalina

wine mixer did make it I think that was

probably one of the first to go because


also we'd put these funny names but then

people would hop on the links and they'd

be like so what are we here to

do and so and then we could never

remember so we'd like have to put in the

description for the meeting what we were

supposed to be doing in that meeting and

we're like maybe this isn't the most

effective it might not be efficient but

it is fun we had a blast we did we

really did yeah that that whole team was

so fun it was all right Kelsey and Devin

is that where we were they were making

out well they made out but then he

starts comforting her at night and so

they start emotionally yeah with the

with the hand motions we left off with

the hand motion I know I'm still doing

the hand

motions um okay so um it's a big rain

day so they all just kind of get to hang

out um they get drenched when they go to

get some supplies and so they all take

their shirts off and Kelsey is like

hello um kelse is Kelsey now like I too

would like to move things along a little

bit yeah um and so she's like running

into things and Tara shows up and is

like making fun of her a little bit and

she's like please give me some space I

am abs notied and I need a moment

what was that word ABS notied hypnotized

by abs like

it's that's the word in the book and I

put it in my notes because it really did

make me laugh when I saw it um like um

being dickmatized exactly but with

abs um and so they all are like obvious

she's pretty obvious about checking them

out pause though dickmatized has been a

saying for a while but I do think atiz

I'm far more likely to pause and augle

some ABS than I am a a dick if I'm aing

a dick it's for different reasons like

ABS you're like oh those are so pretty

and a dick you're

like that one is also


unique like no dicks are just like

inherently pretty no and I love when

romance novels try and make it like the

most beautiful

dick his velvet

Rod like but I'm like no dicks just

inherently aren't attractive they aren't

they can do great work and very few can

in my

experience most of them have


egos you

know you know that is also thing that

happens but yeah just saying if I'm

going to like stop and

like ole oh yeah well I was trying to

augle oo

Ogle I was going through the different

goggle Google

gole golum I don't know right um but no

I do think I'm like if one is going to

do it for you yeah it's probably going

to be the ABS it's gonna be the ABS yeah

I get it um so

um Grayson finally we get him so we've

had everybody else's perspective we

haven't had Grayson so he's starting to

get jealous that everybody else has had

like a moment with her and he hasn't cuz

he really really wants her so um he

pulls her into his lap while they're

watching a movie and she starts to fall

asleep and Lincoln starts like stroking

her leg on the couch and her hand

basically lands on his dick and he's

like well okay he was like I didn't know

this was going to be moment but I'm not

mad at it um is she asleep she's very

asleep she's very asleep and he's like

awkward but he can feel it when she

wakes up and she's

like and she just yells cornbread

because she was making chili and she was

like she just in her dream no she like

woke up and was like oh [ __ ] and so she

just yelled cornbread and got up and was

like I'm going to make some cornbread

and like ran out and all the guys are

like that's adorable cuz she was so

flustered that she like woke up with a

dick in her hand which In fairness I

would also it wasn't bare or anything

but you know what I mean like he didn't

take it out yeah if I woke up with my

hand on someone's dick as

well I mean depends on who depending on

the Dick yeah yeah depends on the dick

but I see where you're like well there's

no way to just like pretend this didn't

happen yeah awkward but he's into it um

makes sense so then it's been 4 days

since that incident and Kelsey is pissed

because none of the guys have made a

move on her again and she's like this is

[ __ ] cuz they're all walking around

around shirtless wait four days from the

dick incident mhm okay and she's like

this is [ __ ] they're all walking

around shirtless looking hot so I'm

going to be pretty skimpy today too

thank you very much so she like puts on

some little shorts and like a crop top


whatever um and she's real still

processing the idea that she doesn't

have to choose so Lincoln approaches her

to talk to her about something and she

just sprays him with a garden hose cuz

she's so over it and she has no social


anymore because she's been alone so long

so she just sprays him with a hose well

and I mean think of how

much General Society social skills

atrophied throughout the pandemic right

oh that's and we were never fully

isolated right I didn't think of that

yeah and there are times when I go out

in public and I'm like how do I what do

I no yeah I don't know what to do with

my hands hands yeah and so not even

being fully isolated and feeling our

skills atrophy versus like looking at

you were legit alone true isolation um

um so then he's like seriously and just

picks her up and carries her in the

camper and they bang um he's like yeah

he's like I've been trying to hold back

this whole [ __ ] time and here you are

we're walking around in these little

shorts we're trying to give you some

space Jesus Christ I'll give you exactly

what you wanted fine yep and what I

wanted fine yep this honestly feels like

a win-win it is yeah it is um many

orgasms are had love and so they're kind

of like laying together afterwards and

he tells her how happy he is that that

she let them in um and then they start

going at it again and they hear the

other guys come in and Link's like don't

stop baby let them hear you and she's

like well okay she's like huh now that

I'm really embracing this maybe I'm more

open to the idea than I than I thought

I'd be she's like did that make me

hotter yes it did okay let's do it

um so

they're like it's more rain days so

they're not able to work or anything um

and she decided she's going to make some

stew so she goes out to the gym area cuz

there are more supplies there and she

comes upon Grayson because she hadn't

seen him in a minute and he is in there

working out and

um he says to her I was trying to avoid

you because being in that tiny camper

with you is making me

insane and I know you're not with it yet

for like a whole group situation so I

was trying to give you some space But

Here the [ __ ] you are and then he says

the Beast is awake and now he's starving


you like that wasn't just like in his

head he actually said he said it out

loud oh yeah so I was I don't that that

doesn't do it for me personally but if

it does it for Kelsey it does it does do

it for her and you know what she's the

only one who matters because she's

literally the only only one there only

woman left really um and I did put in my

notes velvet wrapped steel so right yep

mhm mhm people love the Velvet my notes

say the Beast is awake now and he's

starving for You Velvet wrapped steel


eating oh so all that happened and she's

like Grayson is supposed to be the sweet

one cuz he's the one that's like will

you marry honey and like just really

funny and cute and light-hearted and he

is not in the bedroom um so then um I I

mean is it possible to really be in a

Harum with that like a reverse herum

with that many people and not be into

like anal play I don't think so I mean I

guess you could but

eventually I feel like I feel like a

person who would

be who would be open to having multiple

partners at the same time would not have

the like


like misgivings about like if they just

weren't into it it'd be a different

situation and being like o maybe we

shouldn't go near that hole right and

you're like no that that's a very fair

like if if you

are going to engage in a sexual

experience with three to or Partners mhm

you are just opening yourself up to what

that experience will will present at

some level right like within within a

safe context as well yes if like if

you're open to if you're open to

multiple partners already yeah like you

probably are more open to exploring

other things too I think that's a fair

assessment yeah um so after um he takes

care of her it's very sweet they go back

to the other guys and then the alarms

start to go off again and they have had

a breach so they're freaking out a tree

fell thankfully it was not a hord of

zombies a tree fell on the fence so um

she's in the guard Tower with a rifle

like taking out zombies while they cut

up the tree um and um by the time she

gets down cuz it's still raining she's

blue like she's she's freezing

um so Lincoln takes care of

her and then gets her into bed and then

Grayson joins so at this point those are

the only two that she's slept with but

she's made out with

everybody so then they bang her in

tandem um and she I have a lot of

details about that that are not

necessary um but as she starts to go to

sleep she's like they've done that

before like they were really coordinated

and it was very smooth and she was

like I don't oh so when they had been

discussing that they'd like tried it

before that wasn't with her no she had

no idea so she was just like oh this

whole group thing is new for all of us

and then after her first group

experience she's like it's new for me

they're clearly experienced with this

they know that was too coordinated of an

effort to be the first time yeah like

they didn't have to talk about anything

it was very much like link would tap his


or Grayson would give him a look and

they would know like what positions to

get into and she's like that's not just

like being real good buddies does that

make her feel weird yeah real weird so

Oliver realizes that Kelsey is clearly

upset and it's throwing everybody off so

it's been 5 days since the storm and 5

days since she slept with both of them

um and she's basically like not talking

to them um she's not being rude she's

just very clearly pulling back so all

gets her alone and she just like he

she's like I can't go through losing

people again like I can't do this

[ __ ] again like it almost killed me

the first time um and he sees her

looking over his shoulder so he like

turns cuz he thinks one of the other

guys came in um but nobody is there so

my notes say responding to internal


uhoh um so he's like explaining they all

care about her and all this other stuff

trying to reassure her and she just like

blurts out like I slept with Grayson and

Link at the same

time and Oliver's probably like did you

did you like it that's literally she's

like shocked because that's his response

he's not mad he's not like the [ __ ] he's

like did you like it um and she's like

obviously I

did but she's worried that this is just

what they do like do they just find a

woman and use her until the group is

done like is that their thing because

clearly they've done this before I mean

yeah but also girl objectively like it's

still a [ __ ] zombie apocalypse they

seen a like most of this book your whole

thought process was they hadn't seen a

woman and that's why they were so hyped

on you so now they've railed you

together and you're like this is just

what they do and I'm like with

whom with the zombie women like what

there's no zombie sex um so not in this

book not in this one so maybe next time

I feel like the next time you're like

it's a zombie reverse herum and you're

going to like okay Chelsea this one is

exactly what you thought I don't think I

can do that I don't think I can do I

don't think I can do


like Rotting

Flesh uh I don't know that I can get

past that obviously I can get past a lot

but I can't get past that

well I I mean I don't love the term

Rotting Flesh who does um Decay I

don't right I mean I

think did you watch the show I

zombie no but I've seen like like

trailers for it same Creator Rob Thomas

not Matchbox 20 Rob Thomas the other one

the creator of Veronica Mars right right

um but I feel like when you look at like

I zombie versus like The Walking Dead

like I zombie was kind of this

like it made zombies very approachable

like they were sensient still they

weren't just like Mindless cuz the whole

storyline is that like she was in med

school um a zombie apocalypse or a

zombie attack happens she becomes a

zombie um but then starts working um in

the medical examiner's office or in the

coroner's office um getting access to

brains but then when she eats the brains

she like has flashbacks and memories of

those people's experience so then she's

helping like solve their murders oh yeah

it's like a cute like it's it's not like

super grotesque Rotting Flesh kind right

like it's kind of like I don't know how

like Twilight has like sparkly vampires

right where I'm like I think depending

and mind you I'm not saying I want to

review a Rotting Flesh zombie reverse

herum um I'm sure those exist I'm not

going to look for it though yeah we're

not going if they fall on our lap fine

but we aren't searching for them no we

aren't um but yeah I think that's like

the what what level of zombie is it like

the KY cute or is it like the half of

their face

is gone right yeah yeah no I don't want

that no no so I I do think that is the

the big that's a good point dividing

line for yeah no that's a very good

point um so when she brings that up that

like she has that concern Oliver is like

yes we have done this before one other

time and he explains that um there were

no feelings involved she tried to come

between them and when that didn't work

she stole all of their food and left

left all the gates open that's how their

Farm got overrun um so they almost died

because of her so that's what Devon

meant when a woman almost destroyed them

um well I do get his hesitancy and

concerns right

cuz that is helpful context to know it

is so um they make out

again and he's like we will love you if

you let us like that's where we're at at

this point and he paints some graphic

images of what they could do together

he's like do you want Grayson in your

ass and Link in your [ __ ] while I'm in

your mouth he's like go like very like

very specif and she's like oh


okay um and so he steps back though from

her she thinks they're about to to get

it and he steps back and he's like you

need some time to think we're not going

to do this right now and you're not like

with it and

um so they have work to do around the

place and she tells the guy she needs

some help and Devon is like all right

little lady you can make dinner while

while we do the work and she is pissed

she's like no I have survived on my own

for more than a year like you're not not

going to come in here and tell me what

to do like she's really really mad um

and so uh he like stays on it and so

finally she just kind of flips a switch

and she's like okay sweetie I'll make

dinner but tomorrow I'll be going on a

field trip outside the compound so and

they're like what she has to reset all

the fire fireworks M and so they're like

draw us a map and she's like you'll

never find it

sorry a

bummer cuz she's really mad um so they

draw straws Oliver stays behind the rest

of them go to reset the fireworks um

they stop at a clearing and she sees

Tara like out in the clearing and Devon

comes up and he's like is Tara out there

um and she just she's like

we have to walk around like she won't

let them walk through it so they go um

and there's a huge Quarry that's like

you know essentially a giant Canyon with

water in the bottom of it um and so what

they had set up was the fireworks are on

one side of the Quarry so the the

zombies just fall into the Quarry when

they're trying to get to it so there's

like thousands of dead like in this oh

hole um so Grayson goes up and switches

the fireworks and then a pack of zombies

show up and the guys all move to protect

her immediately and aren't paying

attention to anything and she is so

pissed she just takes all the zombies

out herself and she's like this is

exactly what I was talking about if I

can't trust you to keep yourself safe

then what are we doing like I'm not you

don't need to protect me she's super

duper upset um and as she's walking back

essentially alone because she doesn't

want to talk to them Tara shows up and

she's like honey they just want to

protect you and do you really like it's

time for you to let me go and let

somebody else be here for you

um so Oliver meanwhile back at the ranch

Oliver um has really bad anxiety and has

for his whole life um he was uh abused a

lot as a kid he was involved foster care

and he had one Foster family that was

Japanese and they taught him all kinds

of Zen stuff so he does some meditation

stuff make some pork dumplings um

practicing acceptance he's very balanced

and healthy I'm like that's different

usually in these like these guys don't

do any work on themselves and they're

just a [ __ ] show um but he's very

balanced we love that so the others get

back and Kelsey is obviously really

pissed um and she s them all to [ __ ] off

and so he like steps back and she's like

not you Oliver everybody else and he's

like okay um and Lincoln is like she

deserves to be pissed like she has a

right to be mad we really [ __ ] up um

and so he goes in to be with her and um

as he's walking away Lincoln is like

from the context clues we're pretty sure

she had to kill her best friend like we

think that's why she sees her um we

think she had to to kill her had to kill

Tara mhm and so Oliver is really worried

about her so he follows her in she's in

the shower and she invites him in and

he's like are you just doing this cuz

you're mad at the other ones like I know

and she's like no no this is for you so

they bang my notes say eats her Peach in

the shower fair enough uh and then

shower Hummer shower sex Declarations of

Love solidifying [ __ ] cuddle

just feel like I went on a full Journey

yeah that was that's my notes

um uh they share about their [ __ ] up

childhoods um Lincoln apologizes to her

later they're going to work on being

better Grayson tells her he loves her

Lincoln tells her he loves her Devin

gets really pissed and just Stomps off

and she's like what did I do like I

don't understand um and so she goes to

follow him Devon is freaking out he does

love her but he knows that she's not

stable and he's really afraid that one

day she's going to decide to kill

herself and he's just going to be left

with that because he knows what it's

like to have seen some [ __ ] and gone

through it and to have that kind of

darkness and he's really scared that

she's going to check out so this feels

like a less sexy reverse Haram and more

of like an emotionally processing the

damn the drama of a zombie apocalypse it

is and I wasn't ready for it when I

started it yeah but it's it's good and

it's like got these really cute funny

moments with the chickens and like all

this other stuff I mean I

think I was expecting more zombie sex um

and I wasn't really I did a bait and

switch Yeah I wasn't prepared for the

emotional journey of what um years of

isolation will do to a human

mhm yep um and um yeah

yeah so Devin is freaking out he's

walking away and the alarm goes off

again and he sees Kelsey go out the

fence without any of them and he is

pissed he's like so you want us to trust

you to stay safe and then you're going

to do something like this so question

was her alarm just going off all the

time for the year and a half that she

was by herself cuz it seems like it's

going off once a day since they've shown

up I don't know like we're never told

that but this time it was a uh plastic

bag like stuck to it okay and it was

making noise and attracting zombies so

she gets the bag and then kills some

zombies and Devon is like frozen

freaking out um and so she apologizes

she's like I realized that I shouldn't

have done that I'm just not used to I'm

just not used to people yeah I'm not

used to like having people I can even

ask for help if a situation like this

happens and so so he tells her that he

can't trust her or himself um and that

she has a Death Wish obviously she's

like I I don't he's like you do and then

they hate [ __ ]

um and then terara shows up and he says

that he knows that Tara is there he's

like see right there she's here isn't

she like you have to tell somebody what

happened and so she explains the whole

story that the other three went off Tara

demanded they go look for them and then

started freaking out while they were

outside the compound screaming for her

boyfriend um attracted zombies got bit

um but she it's like a slow moving thing

so she had a couple of days to like work

on Kelsey to get her to do it and

essentially guilted her and when that

didn't work she just goated her into

shooting her and so Kelsey has a lot of

guilt and shame for killing her in Anger

um and she tells Devon that she did want

to die but she doesn't anymore um

whatever so it's a very emotional thing

um and then we're almost to the end so

close um Devin admits to himself that he

is in love with her and he does believe

her that she wants to be alive and that

Tara was frankly a pretty shitty friend

at the end like it was very

self-centered of her to do what she did

um and then he tells her that he was a

teacher before everything happened and

he was at school when everything

happened and so he was trying to save

and protect these kids and he couldn't

save any of them and so like it's

there's lots of like graphic description

of it it's really awful um and so um he

explains the kids haunt him and he he

wants to die like he just can't handle

it um because he wants to forget them

and Kelsey is like crying with him and

she's like well maybe the kids haunt you

because they they just want to be

remembered like who else is going to

remember those kids and he's like full

body sobbing like thank you I never

thought of that and starts telling her

all the good things about the kids um

and then they bang but it's more love

stuff instead of a hate [ __ ] and then

there is a group sex scenes um that's

like a lot a lot Grayson is obvious ly

the dominant of the whole situation even

though Lincoln is like kind of their

leader um lots of good girls and feed

your [ __ ] brother and all that kind of

[ __ ] um you know what I mean I do and

now we're at the

epilog wait what that's the end that's

the end so there it was really just like

the emotional journey of all of these

people coming together whole emotional

Journey so when you read it there are

major plot points with the tree coming

down and the guy showing up in the first

place and going to do the fireworks but

now that I'm like saying it all out loud

it is all really just emotional like

it's just their whole emotional thing

cuz in the epilog she's about four

months pregnant everyone's very happy

they've been together now for about 6

months um yeah I was going to say that

that many guys in a zombie apocalypse I

imagine it's not very long before you're

with trial somebody's going to be

knocked up yeah um and then a family

with two little kids show up at the gate

um and so she lets them in and as she's

letting them in um she sees Tara like

smile and wave at her and she's

Lincoln's like what do you see and she's

like just saying goodbye and like that's


end huh yeah I really didn't think about

that it really is just emotional there's

like not a lot I don't know how to

explain it I mean there's definitely

like I I see what you mean like there's

there's plot points but like

the the underlying plot point that

carries through the whole book is less

like there's like this big breach and

they have like it's just like the

emotional journey of coming together

throughout a really traumatic situation

that's like changed the world yeah and

like recovering from that much isolation

yeah um and obviously a lot of trauma


like yeah emotional plot points like you

know um but it was a very enjoyable read

yeah um and I did appreciate that like

it wasn't Kelsey never was like well I'm

not that pretty and I'm just not that

attractive it it wasn't the usual yeah

well and even it sounded like

the when like it wasn't her being like

why are they into me I'm not pretty

enough for them to be into she's like

are you actually into me I know I'm the

only woman that you've seen in a long


um I'm still curious how long the guys

were on the run if the last girl was the

reason that they ended up on the run it

I think at one point they said okay they

hadn't seen her in like six or eight

months okay yeah so it wasn't like 3

weeks ago we this happened right and we

just happened to end up at a compound of

a single hot female oh my stars didn't

see that coming yeah okay so what is our

raing scale I don't know chickens eggs

we could do hens we could do hens yeah

we could do hens I think hens feels good

because in the book The hens are very

like prominent and there's lots of

really cute little moments with the hens

okay hens how many how many hens is it


of whole

hens I'm going to say out of seven whole

hens because partial hens feels yeah not

good it doesn't feel good no what

happened to the rest of them which half

um is it is it a lateral situation is it

front and back it's a whole thing we

don't need to get into it um out of

seven I'm going to

say five cuz I really did like it like

it a very enjoyable read um and it was

different than most other reverse Herms

where it

wasn't yeah it wasn't like all about the

sex right away they really built the

characters and their relationships

before it like went there all right five

out of seven hens final offer no partial

hens no partial H not like a top half

bottom half situation not a left right

uh I never really thought of a front

back until you said that I was like oh

you know that's a that's a whole new way

to slice someone in half front front

back or slice a hen all right five out

of seven hens let us know what y'all

would rate it would you go partial hens

the world is your

oyster perhaps eggs instead of

partials I said what I said fair enough

but no that it does you're like it does

feel better if you want to give like a


three like four hens and three eggs sure

that feels better for me

personally are we updating our rating to

four hens and three eggs or you just

like that way of rating I just like that

way better okay I'll allow it um let us

know if you would give or subtract any

eggs from Hannah's rating and we'll see

you next time thanks guys

bye well that's it for this week's mut

[ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it

sure was great for us if you're digging

what we're doing it would mean a lot if

you'd take a minute to rate and review

the show wherever you're listening right

now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend

us an ear we love you we appreciate you

and we'll see you next week stay



EP 45: Dying to Love by Reese Rivers
Broadcast by