EP 34: Glitch by Briana Michaels
foreign
hello All You Beautiful People
you know what time it is
ladies and gentlemen
Guys and Dolls and everyone in between
gather round
something real nice to sip on and comfy
to slip on
cause it's time for smut Club
here's your hosts Chelsea and Anna
[Music]
hi everybody
oh hi
sorry I was grabbing my wine I'm Chelsea
I'm Hannah welcome to smut Club welcome
to Smart Club welcome to the second
episode
of season two of smart club we made it
we did we did it we're glad to be here
again yeah we hope you're glad to be
here if you're glad to be here feel free
to give us a review subscribe
tell a friend do all of the things sure
I'm already a little bit of wine in I
feel that you're welcome listen hit us
up on the social media with requests
yeah
that I was pregnant by the time we
finished recording the last season so I
really feel like I'm making up for lost
time
sorry everyone
um that's why Hannah
is gonna lead today's review I am not me
I am what are we reviewing today we're
very reviewing what was that Hannah I
was trying all my words tried to come
out of my mouth at the same time and I'm
not that as much wine in as you are
um so that bodes well
um glitch by Brianna Michaels okay
yes Brianna like traditional spelling or
like b-r-e it's
b-r-i-a-n-a oh Only One n Only One n
because she fancy like that yep okay now
we know
um so this book just it's fair warning
to everybody and to you Chelsea has
almost no plot
um
really any plot points like mapping out
any plot point at this at this point
would be generous
um so we'll see how it goes at this
point you know
um it's just like when I reviewed
claiming Addison and I realized like or
that like three simple rules and it
wasn't until I got into the thick of it
that I was like there's I'm really
trying to make a plot out of nothing
here yes it's pretty much that yeah
um and I realized it last night as I was
reading my notes to prepare for today so
my notes say off the rip we're coming in
hot
it's literally my first note
um so it opens with this guy very
graphically telling a girl how to touch
herself saying stuff like be my good
little [ __ ] and calling like start stop
like start touching yourself stop
touching yourself that kind of situation
like Simon Says basically but for
masturbation red light green light for
masturbation yes yeah that was that was
my husband Vance's contribution
um he's not wrong
um although when I think of red light
green light now I think of um squid
games which is not the energy here
In fairness
you were like it's like a sexual squid
games with no plot I'd be like what we
should write that book right but
although I would say like if we were
gonna call it sexual squid games there
would have to be tentacles and I don't
know that either one of us want to do
that
technical smart it's a very specific
smudge especially are you sure you're
not as wind in as I am maybe I am who
knows yeah we'll find out
all right so his phone keeps going off
and he's like [ __ ] that I'm ignoring it
and then he leans into a microphone
as I just demonstrated
into my microphone into my own
microphone
um
so
the phone keeps going off and he gets
really distracted and we find out that
he's recording audio
so he is a um
um like a smut book narrator that's his
side gig like he does voiceovers for
audiobooks
first month did I ever tell you that at
one point in my life I almost did
voiceover work for Singaporean anime
no why did that not happen
I didn't need me
so
I'm waiting for you to go life happened
um well truly elected so my senior year
of high school
I don't know sometimes somehow that
feels really wrong for like your year of
high school my job was I worked as a
personal assistant to the sewing expert
for the Home Shopping Network okay so
all of like the on-air demos I was like
look what you can do with this machine I
helped make all of the on-air demos that
they would use to sell these sewing
machines oh that was my full-time job
and the couple that I worked for
they were just like one of those couples
that like
did everything like I think they met
doing like a traveling Vaudeville act
and like he was like a ring Master at
the circus and was also like
the entertainment director and like a
cruise ship and she like would sew all
of the outfit like they just like were
very much in that industry right and
like even like at their house they had
four different sheds behind their house
that's a lot of sheds yes at least I
would imagine like at least one would be
emergency yeah if you've got five sheds
at least one is a murder shed that's too
many sheds one was a stained glass
making shed all of their stained glass
making supplies one was their costume
shed for all of the different acts
they'd done over the years one was half
dance studio and half sewing Workshop so
that's when I spent the most time in
okay um because like the dance studio
side they would also use to like shoot
content one was his voice over recording
shed and then one was his woodworking
shed
um
so many sheds
she was on a show
um that was called like wickedly perfect
it was on like CBS or it was on like one
of those a long time ago it was like the
goal was to find the next Martha Stewart
oh was like that's what she did
but yes so I was working for her as her
personal assistant and her husband did
voice over work for Singaporean anime
and they needed a female and he was like
would you be interested I was like
hell yeah why why would I say no to this
but then as you were hoping I would say
life happened and I never ended up
recording any and then they got divorced
so I really lost my chance big bummer I
mean they're maybe not their divorcement
might have been the bigger bummer than
me losing oh no that's what I meant was
like their divorce is a big bummer I
mean also you not doing anime
Singaporean anime
I don't think I've ever seen Singaporean
anime
I'm gonna have to Google that
I mean maybe I've watched a lot of anime
in general their son
was also in the same industry and he was
one of the like stilt people at Busch
Gardens
like on like the super super tall stilts
yeah yeah I remember yeah he was one of
those good for him
what a interesting family yeah like how
do you get into that line of work
I feel like once you're in it you're
just yeah yeah you're just in it now
like do you have another choice I don't
think you do because I imagine like all
of your friends are also vaudevillian
people who do vaudevillian things
that's your hope you're not gonna go
work a nine to five you sure should
aren't Corporate America is
not for you yeah you know who else
didn't fit in Corporate America you're
the character in your book our main guy
yeah you know let's get back to glitch
my bad this is a very long tangent no I
liked it but then I was like
what were we actually talking about we
were talking about dude buddy doing
voice over
um so
um he his friends are waiting for him to
start a video game
um and that's why his phone's blowing up
so he goes and logs on to the chat
and he is super into the girl that they
play with there's like five of them that
all play together and one of the friends
is like the central person that brought
everybody together and
um he has been very into this girl like
since they started the whole thing but
he's never actually met her
um or seen her for that matter but he's
he's just into her catfish no okay no
um he has a separate chat with her
um that they've had for a while and she
kind of like intermittently will use and
not use like a separate little Discord
thing that they use
um and she tells him that she broke up
with her boyfriend
and um now's my jam he's like I'm into
that like
like I don't know if that was a message
for me but that feels like it was a
message for me you know what I'm saying
yeah so
um they they're playing and throwing
around insults and
um
all of a sudden ARA is her name
she goes offline all of a sudden like in
the middle of the game also quick
question
because all I can think of is ready
player one
is this like a futuristic thing or is
this just like modern day modern day
okay okay sorry yeah no I mean it's a
good question it's just regular old
modern day contemporary romance dealio
we'll take it
um so that freaks him out he's like
where is she is she okay that's not
normal
um so she that pops back on and she says
she's having computer troubles and one
of the guys jokes around and asks if she
um kicked her computer because she has a
little bit of a temper
um but she reacts really weirdly to that
statement and he's like what the hell is
going on right now
um
so she tells him that she likes the
sound of his voice because he like
chuckled he never really talks because
they have like um
voice situation or they can do a chat he
usually does chat because apparently his
voice is like super deep and for his
whole life everybody has always made fun
of him ironically your voice got higher
for his super deep voice super deep
voice
I was like I thought you're gonna say he
doesn't talk
because he has a very delicate voice no
no it's very opposite yeah okay yeah
um so he yeah he has this whole internal
monologue about how he's been bullied
his whole life for a super deep voice
um and we also learned that his parents
died at some point in this monologue
it's just a long situation
um
so
um yeah he makes money by selling
recordings of his voice and
um
so he gets a little salty about the way
that one of the guys is talking to her
on the game
um because they're throwing around
insults and having a good time and he's
like maybe don't talk to her like that
not a fan didn't like it
um but she comes right back at it and
he's like maybe I need to calm down like
I've never met this woman in person and
maybe I need to slow my roll
um
spoiler alert he doesn't
um so
he uh his nephew calls him
um and so he gets off of the
um the game with everybody else
um
he finds out that
um there is something seriously wrong
with ARA's computer
and so the the main friend from the game
texts him and says it has to be done or
it had to be done
um followed by an unknown number texting
him and so it turns out the unknown
number is ARA
um saying that the friend gave her his
information saying that he owns a
computer repair shop which he does
um and so glitch is glitch is the guy's
name
um he is [ __ ] livid at his friend for
doing this and so he texts he's not
excited because he has a giant crush on
her no he has some control freak
sort of energy and so he doesn't like
that his friend determined the way in
which they started talking
um and so he texts the friend I feel
like his friend is being a good wingman
he is absolutely doing that
um glitch isn't there yet so he attacks
the friend and says I'm going to wrap my
hands around your throat and squeeze
until you see God and he does not send
that to the friend he sends that to ARA
accidentally
and he's like whoops
that wasn't the energy I meant to come
into this with because she literally
texted him Trey sent me your number he
said maybe you could help me with fixing
my computer and he comes back with I'm
going to choke you out until you see God
yeah
let me guess she's into that kind of
thing she absolutely is
um
so we learned that she's an artist oh I
forgot to mention it doesn't actually
matter but I will mention this flashes
back and forth between their two
perspectives so we start with glitch we
switch to ARA um she's an artist she
loves anime and gaming
um she's also had a crutch on a crush on
glitch there we go
um not a crutch on glitch not that
um but she's never done anything about
it
um she's excited about the prospect of
meeting him in person because they find
out they live in the same town which she
did not know and so she's like oh
I can like
pop over to his shop that's exciting
like I want to do that
um but she's really upset about her
computer it turns out somebody did kick
it but it wasn't her
um which will become sort of relevant
later
depends on Hannah there's more plot than
than you were given it I'm really trying
I'm really trying
um so after sending the initial text to
him about you know Trey gave me your
number Trey's the friend
um she goes to masturbate she's
imagining glitch again she's never met
him doesn't know who he is doesn't know
what he looks like
um but she's imagining him calling her
Kitty and being all super dominant and
possessive saying [ __ ] like let me see
what I own which is interesting oh
um so then uh
like kitty the lactation specialist
exactly like kitty the lactation
specialist from the last episode
um
she imagines that because glitch called
her Kitty once on chat oh
um and so
yeah this is a direct quote I'm not sure
why I wrote it down but I'm gonna share
it now
um I grip my toy like a weapon set for
Big Time clitoral damage
your eye twitch just now absolutely
absolutely the reaction that is the
correct response
noted yeah
I just imagine I was like oh she
probably paid extra for a toy that
looked like a weapon
no
oh that just makes me think of um den of
vipers when she gets banged by the gun
like he uses the gun that's not the kind
of thing we're talking about here but
that's what I thought of I forgot about
that I'm sorry I reminded you
I'm sorry I frequently wish I could
forget about den of vipers
yeah go back and listen if you haven't
there's season one episode one there's
fanny packs there are and tacos
are there tater tots
no you know what I think the tacos are
in the fanny pack and it reminded me of
Napoleon Dynamite yeah you had the tater
tots yeah so I am I had I Associated
that there's
ass play with knives lots of that yeah
yeah it's a okay so you know you can go
back and enjoy that drink that in if you
want or don't
um so she comes super hard and she says
glitch is the best lover I've never had
um so she sees the text response from
glitch about like I'll choke you out or
whatever and she's like I like that
so she responds to him and says does
that cost extra
and he is like
God damn
yes please but he's like I am not gonna
respond with something dirty because I
actually really like this girl like I've
known her all this time even though I've
never met her in person so I'm not gonna
be a [ __ ] weirdo
um so he is so turned on he tells her to
come by his shop or whatever
he's so turned on that he goes to record
a scene because that's apparently how he
process releases a sexual energy yes so
um yeah things like things are said
like get on your knees and crawl to me
like a good girl let me give you a gift
those kinds of things
um what hubris to consider your dick a
gift right
is it foreign
like like for any man that happens to be
listening please ask yourself like is it
here's the thing even if it is
even if you have that good of a dick
sure as soon as you think you have that
good of a dick you don't yeah yeah
it's what's that uh uh what is it
[ __ ] Jonas Brothers you don't you
don't know what is it I I don't think I
could name a single Jonas Brother song
there's some Jonas Brothers song I think
where they talk about like you're pretty
because you don't know you're pretty or
something like that oh yeah
hmm yeah it's good dick because you
don't know it's good dick
well I also think sometimes if you don't
think you have a good dick
you work a little harder right right and
we all appreciate the effort we do A for
effort Bud
um so anyway
she masturbated now he's masturbating
masturbating everyone masturbates
everyone gets to masturbate yes
um so then he decides he's gonna ask her
out when he finally gets to meet her
again sight unseen
um so she waits a few days tries to fix
the computer herself decides to finally
go
um she's concerned she mentions her ex
who is like mildly stalking her
um but she decides like [ __ ] it I'm just
gonna go to glitch's shop she built this
computer herself and so it's like got
sentimental value as well so she's super
upset about the whole thing so she goes
to the shop even though she's very
nervous to me glitch
um it's super cool inside there's
graffiti everywhere and kids doing
homework it's very like
chill Community laid-back kind of vibe
so we're back to glitch
um
he had basically given up on her showing
up because it's been like three or four
days since they texted and he's like
[ __ ] you can't care that much about a
broken computer right he's like well
damn maybe she took it somewhere else or
just decided not to come so
um it's very very awkward when he goes
out to meet her in the front
um she doesn't speak she just stands
there and very obviously checks him out
like is doing a lot of up and down eye
movement
fixated on his arms and his drunk like
she is not subtle
and he thinks yes they're both very
attracted to each other very much so he
thinks that she is the hottest woman
he's ever seen
um so he realizes didn't mean to take
that from you he didn't need to guess
get ahead of ourselves
oh we were robbed of that moment
ah
that's the moment we can never get back
how will we carry on
I have a feeling though they'll carry on
just fine oh they will and maybe we'll
wish that they hadn't done that
so he realizes that her computer has in
fact been kicked and so he is like oh
that's not funny because that's not
actually like her that's really weird
and so he takes her into the back room
to like ask her what the hell is going
on
um and she won't really respond to him
and she says like I know it's really bad
I just want you to take a look at it
maybe it can be fixed and he's like
[Music]
then he says that he will text her when
it's ready
um and
um that's it we're back to ARA she's
flipping out over how hot glitch is all
tall with tattoos and dark hair and a
deep voice and all that stuff
um
she very obviously has some self-esteem
issues talking about how she's like too
fluffy for a guy like that which is like
but isn't that like every smart book yes
and it's annoying as hell every now and
then I'll read one where the chick is
like yeah I'm super [ __ ] hot like
deal with it but it's one or the other
yeah it's always like who would want me
or it's like
I'm going to [ __ ] all three of these men
at once because why wouldn't they want
me right everyone wants me obviously why
wouldn't you yeah yeah you're right
there's not very often a middle ground
um
um yeah and
then
um oh that's right she decides to go
home from his shop because she quote
soaked through her panties
she
had been planning to go to the grocery
store and then was like but I'm too wet
for that
laughs
never in my life for the record never in
my life
have I been like nope I know I had a lot
of errands to run today but I'm I'm too
wet for that
never in my life
yeah
you get that wet
should you see a medical professional it
gets worse from there
to be honest like not right now but it
will and you'll know when we get there
and it'll be a lot for you to deal with
I already know that it's coming so
um
no she's on her way home she gets a
phone call and she thinks it might might
be glitch I guess she didn't save his
number for some reason but or like that
he's calling from the shop no one speaks
when she answers and it's just heavy
breathing and she's like ew gross that
that must be my ex like Ugh
so she hangs up
why do my okay
my notes say she hangs up and starts
flicking the bean
well she clearly needed to relieve some
pressure
uh her phone rings again this time it is
glitch
um he can't fix the computer but he
wants to bring it back himself
um so she's super excited
um and
she trips on her own feet
she's so excited like she's getting up
to get dressed and she's so excited she
trips on her own feet and like really
bangs up her knees
um and she decides that she needs to
look super hot even though he's only
going to be there for like five minutes
she's like
I need to be put together make it worth
it yeah
he needs to I need to remember that five
minutes feel like ten exactly yeah he
needs to remember this moment
so
um we get some information about glitch
being super close with his sister and
his nephew
um there's no dad in the picture so
glitch kind of like fills that role
um
not really important at all but now you
know it so he goes to auras and
um he gets like really weirdly agitated
that there's not enough like security
for her apartment complex one of those
like alpha male like yeah you're not
safe like he even gets mad that the
sidewalks are uneven because he's like
worried she's gonna trip it's like bro I
mean she to just bang up her knees
trying to get dressed she did you might
be on to something but he doesn't know
that it does it just feels like
we're reaching here for like the amount
of
protectiveness that's a that's a lot
like I'll allow it there
um so
he feels like she's looking super hot
um she tries to pay him for his time on
her computer and he's like how about you
let me take you to dinner instead
um but she's like oh I already ate and
I'm like babe you're low-key in love
with this guy eat again like that's the
dumbest [ __ ] I've ever heard why
like eat again get an appetizer for all
I [ __ ] care just get a drink like
what like what
whatever that didn't make a lot of sense
to me but I you're like I'll eat a lot
so generally
it's second dinner
exactly do you know nothing about
Hobbits apparently not uh there's a
second breakfast it's a second breakfast
the sentiment holds it does yeah
um so
yeah he's like
when she says I've already eaten he's
like we'll go to dinner another time
because I'm ravenous and I want to eat
you and it's like oh wow okay
all right
so they're about to start like for real
going at it when glitches stomach growls
um so she offers him food but she has
like literally one package of ramen
noodles in her apartment
um and so he takes her to the grocery
store it doesn't seem like she's doing a
oh well that makes sense she needed to
go grocery shopping because she only had
one package of ramen noodles but she
couldn't go grocery shopping because she
was too wet yeah to go grocery shopping
I hate it yeah she was too horny to make
it through
um the Piggly Wiggly
hahaha
[Laughter]
is that the actual grocery store in the
book or did you just choose
I just literally chose the pig
what also what do you think is going to
happen in the grocery store because even
if you're like you know what
I'm a little aroused
and I need to go grocery shopping right
what's going to happen in the grocery
store that you're like no no
I'm too aroused for that that can't
happen here the frozen pizza aisle has
never gotten to me the produce section
far too much well actually have we
talked about Club Pub
Okay so
I should fact check this
but if memory serves
there was a Publix right in which for
those of you who are not from the south
that's a grocery store
not as good of a name as Piggly Wiggly
but there's a Publix in Tallahassee that
was called Club Pub because at one point
it was rated like
like one of the most like something for
like single people like the most like
single people meeting at this grocery
store and like finding people was at
this public so they called it Club Pub
specifically the produce section of this
Publix was known like and I will say
because my sister went to school at FSU
and I went to visit her and I did not
know about Club Pub
and we went grocery shopping there one
day and I was like
why is everyone in this grocery store so
attractive
everyone is seriously put together yes
like truly I was like to get their chips
and salsa today yeah I was lit I was
like
am I good looking enough to shop at this
grocery why isn't there a bouncer yes
and then my sister was like oh well it
is Club Pub and I'm like what do you
what's Club Pub yeah it was like
voted number one place in the nation or
some [ __ ] like that on some I don't know
I don't know who rated it that feels
like something that they might rate
themselves or like it's like the lore of
right you know right I'm like at the
time like being very young it felt very
true
but everyone was just a little more
attractive than the average grocery
store shopper so that's like that I'm
just like okay so great Tallahassee has
the club Hub and Atlanta has murder
Kroger like okay Nashville how to murder
Kroger as well
oh really yeah
maybe it's just Kroger in general
it's not specific to a city then
well there is a Kroger in coming Georgia
that's the nicest grocery store I've
ever been into in my life to the point
that I like told my husband I was like
honey
this is such a nice grocery store like
what is even happening he was like yeah
okay whatever like it like kind of like
wrote me off and then I wanted something
I wanted like some chips that like only
Kroger had and we went I like he went to
the store with me to that Kroger and he
walked in and he's like I'd like to
apologize for minimizing your experience
because I truly get it now I was like
what is happening in this Kroger right
maybe they were trying to be like the
club Pub
of coming
are they trying to put out that kind of
vibe oh it's really like a Suburban
housewife Vibe oh they like to get
[ __ ] too yeah they do
in more ways than one oh okay so all
right back to he's like I I wanna I'll
eat you because you already ate dinner
but then his stomach growls and all she
had was one pack of ramen noodles
because she was too horny to go to the
grocery store earlier right okay so he
summarized correctly yes and we're at
ARA's point of view yes it is very
important that we get all of these plot
points correct
um we're at ARA's point of view he takes
her to the grocery store they have a
great time they get all kinds of stuff
um she messes with him a little and he
calls her a brat and so she's like what
are you gonna do about it and he says
[ __ ] around and find out and she's like
oh no I'm into that so whatever he pays
for like this book they've known each
other for for like a cool half hour like
but they've known each other for years
but they've never seen each other or had
interaction I feel like
for me I've met people that I've
interacted with on the internet first
and the boundaries are different like
it's not like I carry the boundaries
from our online interaction into in
person like we need new boundaries I
mean I think that's fair
the boundaries do shift and
it's not as if it's still not as if they
didn't know each other or have any
relationship prior to 30 minutes before
because think about
everyone doing online dating like
it obviously shifts when you meet the
person in person but a lot of times
there's like a very long build up of
like talking back and forth on an app
texting maybe phone calls leading up to
if you even decide you're going to meet
the person in person true a personal
person I feel like I keep saying person
in real life in real life
so but I do agree it does shift
and shifts very rapidly and sexually for
them it does aggressively sexually we're
just like straight to Spanx it's a lot
so is he spanking her in the grocery
store not yet
um
[Laughter]
oh no paper products no I'm just kidding
I made that up
um
grocery store is the least sexy if
you're gonna have sexy time in a grocery
store paper products here's your
products for sure or the baby aisle
depending on where you're at in your
relationship might be the least sexy
maybe the pet aisle
maybe although although there are toys I
was gonna say they're into a lot of
stuff so they might actually be down for
well in the power drink yeah you
if you're going too hard and you might
need a pick-me-up refuel yeah
um chocolate is an aphrodisiac so not
like the candy cookie aisle
um
yeah which grocery store aisle is the
least sexy I do think your initial gut
reaction of paper products
maybe the bread aisle
yeah I could see bread yeah yeah
I don't know how we got here
but anyway sorry
um oh it wasn't bad it was just
interesting
um so he pays
um
and she
is like wow
this is all so new and exciting but I
feel safe with him because I feel like
I've known him forever
um he won't let her carry anything of
course
um like a real man
like a real man
these books they're always like this
woman is too delicate to carry
a grocery bag meanwhile she's like I'm
sturdier than anything I'm just fluffy
as [ __ ] and he's like so delicate
the way we view ourselves versus how the
World Views us right right may not match
um
so for some reason as they get back to
her apartment she realizes that he paid
for everything I guess she was like
really caught up in the moment of like
they're flirting and stuff and she gets
really mad and she's like I can pay for
my own food Jesus Christ
um so uh she's like
why are you trying to take care of me
right now that's weird
um and he is really worried that he
overstepped and then she's like no
actually I like that you're trying to
take care of me
um my love
you are reaching I know I'm trying so
hard I just I just would say lean into
the left just stop trying I can do that
because I was like oh this is gonna lead
to a fight you're like she was upset he
paid for the groceries he's like maybe I
overstepped and then she's like you
didn't I like it
like I was like oh we're finally going
somewhere we're doing some traction
we're not so then he spanks her for
being a brat in the store
um and then
I don't know why I made this as a note I
don't think it's relevant but here it is
he offers her a Skittle and she bites
his finger
it's a bold choice
so we're back to glitch I mean Skittles
are tiny
that's true it could have been an
accident although the Way It Was Written
it sounded very intentional just one
little one a little
um so we're back to glitch
um so
she had a wet spot on the back of her
dress the whole time they were at the
store so he walked behind her if anyone
was close enough to see
I just because she was so horny that's
what I'm saying that's why I was like it
gets worse like if you're experiencing
that amount of drippage
I'm like wetness
um seek medical help probably if you're
like I have to wear a panty liner
because my arousal is so extreme it
leaks through my pants
yeah
it's not normal it's not in this case
it's all the way through the back of her
dress you can see the spot
which I'm like she's sitting well I
guess the drive there that's the only
thing I could think of like how did it
get on the back of her dress while she
was walking
must have happened in the car
um
I'm like
as someone with a very small baby
he's a lot of blowouts
and honestly there are times where I'm
like I don't understand how you hit that
angle
the logistics don't make sense we're all
about the logistics Lord help me
he was walking behind her in the grocery
store so she other people wouldn't see
and she would be embarrassed by
how wet she got into the produce aisle I
don't necessarily think it was about her
being embarrassed I think it was like a
possessive thing he didn't want anybody
else to see
whatever
um it doesn't matter so they have some
like back and forth in the kitchen
he starts counting and she catches on
that he's counting Spanx and so she's
like better make it too babe and again
he's into it again I don't know how she
knew that because he was like that's one
like one what had he just spanked her
because I feel like it's kind of obvious
if if I get spanked and then they go
that's one I'm not like oh they're
counting Spanx I realized it like I feel
like it's like the obvious
well he's like he did spank her but then
they like move on and they're having
this little flirty moment and then he's
like that's one I don't know I don't
know whatever maybe I I don't know
people are big into counting the spikes
they are aren't they
more power to you I I don't like math
enough that counting during that would
be like no moment's over you're like
honestly
counting's a bit of a buzzkill basically
it's a step too far it makes me the
Sahara Desert down there
there will be I don't know what spot
yeah I know she's in the wetlands
we're trying to get to a desert
the Everglades here
um
all the Florida people yep yep we are
you can't you you can take the girls out
of Florida yep but we will forever have
it in our hearts unfortunately so true
um so they're like throwing things at
each other and blah blah blah and
um in a cute playful way yes okay and
because every time she throws something
he's like that's
that's three and she's like
whatever
so so she's trying to get more Spanx yes
and he decides he's in love with her
um so they're about to kiss again and
but then like she pulls back and for
some reason they start talking about her
last relationship and she tells him that
he kicked her computer he was jealous of
the time she spent online with glitch
so he like got mad that she was on her
computer so he kicked it
um we finally found the plot yep there
it is so
um she says she really only gamed with
everybody to be to be able to talk to
glitch
um he's super mad about this whole X
situation he thinks that he hit her and
was like abusive and she was like no no
no no no no it was just the computer
just picked my computer which still
isn't an appropriate outlet for your
anger no definitely not I'm still
abusive just in a different way
um so he's like super proud that she
stood up for herself and got out of that
situation
um
and then she tells him for some reason
unprovoked that the other reason that
that her ex was so jealous was because
she called out glitch's name while she
was masturbating and he happened to walk
in on that
I
I can't say I wouldn't feel the same way
as him right in that moment
if
I were masturbating or if my partner
were masturbating
and they call it out another woman's
name
I would feel some type of way oh for
sure
now would I damage their property right
maybe a younger joke I was about to say
like 22 year old Hannah probably yeah I
remember one of my friends in high
school
like I think it was like maybe it was a
high school friend I think was maybe
like our freshman year of college her
and her boyfriend broke up there was
like this big thing I don't remember she
like kicked out his tail lights
or like broke tail lights like something
like that
I remember at the time being like that
feels a little aggressive okay on to the
next but like yeah that's a little much
yeah I mean it's kind of like Carrie
Underwood's yeah Before He Cheats where
you're like
property damage
is not the way yeah to handle your
emotions like baby girl why are we
trying to catch a charge right now
yes I'm like you do realize that that is
illegal I'm just like he hurt my
feelings isn't a good enough reason
most of the time no yeah okay sorry back
to the plot of glitch yep so
um he's just like very into this all of
this
um so she were to her point of view she
takes him to the bedroom
um
uh he tells her to take her dress off
and she's like if you want it off you
can do it yourself and there's that
whole kind of like brat energy
um
oh
my notes say there's a lot a lot of
growling which I frankly cannot
understand but okay
yeah I think the only time where I'm
like it's weird but I get it is when
it's like
shifters where it's like a paranormal
yes you know where I'm like
they shift into an animal that growls
right yes
any chance he's a shifter is that where
this plot is going there isn't one and
also no
so
um he calls her Kitty at one point which
basically makes her almost pass out
she's so [ __ ] turned on
um and next thing you know she's a
lactation specialist
so
um
he asks her about hard limits which is
nice because consent matters that's what
my notes say yep
um and she is like I don't have any hard
limits just keep calling me kitty and
I'm like baby girl I think you do have
some hard limits maybe think more about
that like did you hear what this man
just asked you everyone has heart limit
right
you might not have as many as other
people yeah but I'm like
if you ever everything is a kosher
like everything is completely okay
like we're cool with water sports like
is that what you're telling me right now
like God damn babe okay
all right I know water sports is another
meeting here but once again we're from
Florida
see you thought back to tubing didn't
you I was not tubing I thought water
skiing I thought jet skis I
I thought kneeboarding oh my God that
too yeah skimboarding even yeah all of
the water sports
I have no hard limits against water
sports
except after I had some childhood trauma
with the tubing
see episode 1 season 2 for that story
um no that's not the kind of water
sports I meant and no I will not
elaborate Google it if you must but not
when you're on your work's Wi-Fi
um much like how the government no
longer lets government employees have
tick tock on their devices exactly look
up water sports
yeah maybe maybe avoid that they will
frown upon that
um so he discovers she has a praise Kink
which he's very into
um
yeah so again actual question sorry
it was liking to be affirm to kink
apparently like like I don't think I've
ever actually considered that as
a kink
so I think like there's a difference
between like appreciating somebody
giving you an affirmation and getting
super turned on by it I think that's the
difference you know
touche yeah
um yeah if someone telling you great job
on that math test makes you so wet you
can't go to the grocery store
it's a kink yes correct correct correct
sorry
um keep going so process that
um
she she comes there are a lot of wetness
descriptions that I could have lived
without
um he spanks her a lot
um
yeah he asks her how she usually uh
gets off and she takes out a vibrator
and he says direct quote are you ready
for multiplayer mode
so it is ready player one
Ready Player Two it's multiplayer
that book wasn't as good though
sorry Ernest Klein you did better the
first time
um okay so there's a lot of description
of the sex here he uses the vibrator on
her
um she she squirts which embarrasses her
so bad
um and he is super into it
um and of course and he asks her to lay
out all of her toys he does all kinds of
different things
um he's still fully clothed this is all
her
this is all her
um
so um he says that he's learning her and
what she's into and he's having a great
time and he doesn't need her to
reciprocate
um
and there's some anal play
it's her first anal play and it felt
like a big step to take with a brand new
partner but who am I to say
um your first encounter with them like
sexual encounter with them yeah that's a
lot yeah that's a lot
do I dare ask how much anal play what
was the love no I don't ask no we move
on we don't last dildo
oh
okay
that feels okay for you
Hannah you've
you've
walked us through a lot of interesting
books over the course of smart Club
that's not shaming the book choices but
it is just saying you can though I
understand
I'm just saying is there somewhere I'm
like oh oh oh you can do that
and I think I love to learn
I think glass dildo I'm like
feels approachable okay fair enough
amidst all of the different
books over time I'm like oh
yes
that one feels
more normal fair enough I can appreciate
that the the Paranormal the Scorpions
and the mods
yeah milking factories sure you know
sure the knife handles of it all yeah
the knife handles of it all
go on so
um
he decides in his head he's like I am
marrying this woman he has yet to
actually have like
full-on intercourse with her but he's
like this is the one
um she falls asleep he gets up
because he decides that she needs to eat
um
and uh he starts to get anxious thinking
that he went overboard with her because
he like made a bunch of food and like
bought all of this food I'm like baby
you just put a glass dildo in her ass
like I think making dinner is cool like
I feel like that's okay
Maybe not maybe I don't understand the
dynamic
that's the line
um
so
um
she's like
whatever they have this moment where
she's like starts to get tearful and
she's like I should have asked for your
number sooner you're so amazing
um
and she's like no more dragging her feet
like let's really do this thing and so
he says so we're getting married in an
hour and she laughs and he's like I am
not joking like what that's literally
the line from the book
um
I know I know
so then she gets a phone call from her
ex
um who again is just Breathing heavily
glitches Superman yeah it's confirmed
well she believes that it is she's like
it can't be anybody else at this point
um so uh glitch is really really mad
she's like it's totally fine
everything's okay
um and then she all of a sudden because
lest we forget she's an artist
she's like I did I did forget I did as
well until I just read it in my note
um she's like do you want to see my
studio it's four o'clock in the morning
she's like do you wanna do you want to
go to my studio with me and he's like
yes I do want to do that at 4am
so she takes him there
um he's all safety conscious he doesn't
like that the building doesn't have any
security
um she shares a space with a bunch of
other people like she explains like I'm
not the only one who works in this space
um but no one is there my notes say in
all caps because it's the middle of the
night
and then my notes also say she doesn't
know this man and took him to a secluded
space in the middle of the night why
isn't he worried about that
that's literally what my notes say like
why aren't we worried that your girl
just was like
because he's not like the others Hannah
taking a rando in the middle of the
night
um
so he looks through her canvases and
he's like
um you're you're amazing
um
can you say anything else though like
honestly real question if she were the
shittiest artist in the world
could you say that
no not at this point like I don't think
that he can be objective enough to even
notice if she's the shittiest artist in
the world at this point
you're like quite frankly she probably
was he's probably like that Rorschach on
the back of your dress is the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen thank you
for gifting me that art like honestly
your arousal no
man that's I started it and I didn't
like it
oh my god oh
he finds a naked self-portrait and he's
like can I keep this
um and then she's like you can't medium
of choice paint okay and she's like yes
you can but only if I can paint you get
naked and he's like I had a captain
um and so she does a rough sketch and
has him come look and she did just his
face she just made him get naked for fun
and
which I actually appreciated and he's
like I [ __ ] love you and she's like
well that wasn't a real declaration
obviously because I've known you for 12
hours in real life
um
and so
um
yeah
yeah she
apparently I had a lot of euphemisms for
blow jobs and my notes for this as well
you love [ __ ] euphemism I do so I my
notes say give me the list
um she crawls over to him to where he's
standing and kneels before him and this
is from my notes she really wants to
make a balloon animal
I don't know where I got that or how it
makes sense but sounds painful
that doesn't sound like the best [ __ ]
of your life well she might be having a
lot of fun it doesn't the connotation
from Hummer to making a balloon animal
are very different I think I might have
told you when I was in Middle School I
went on a mission trip to the country of
Panama
I was a clown that was like my community
yeah yeah yeah yeah and I kept
accidentally popping the balloon animals
and they took that job away from me
because I made too many children cry
which my best friend
literally text me like two weeks ago and
she was like look at this photo my mom
just found and it was from that mission
trip 20 years ago when she and I were
clowns I'm gonna need to see that when
we it's a very underwhelming photo but
I'm still happy to show it to you thank
you we we didn't have like face we just
wore like sad clown outfits
they're like not even clown shoes
they're just like here
wear this clown onesie essentially
no wigs or anything nope nothing that is
pretty underwhelming yeah yeah so I'm
like I would cry if someone wearing a
creepy onesie popped a balloon in my
face too yeah I probably would
Okay so
make a balloon animal is yep
you it feels like it'd be a [ __ ]
because your hands are involved if
you're making balloon animals regardless
she gives him a BJ
um direct quote here ARA could likely
suck my soul right out of my dick with
her level of enthusiasm
also the word slurps is used a lot
slurp slurp
so that made my list of words that I
just am not into
slurp I don't think I can hear [ __ ] Like
slurp without thinking of a slushie yeah
oh
I don't want slushies to be ruined I
can't remember the last time I had one
but you like to leave yourself open for
the future yes I want the option to
remain open
um I had a lot more thoughts but I will
reign them in for the sake of not
ruining slushies for you thank you and I
will give you again directly from my
notes he comes hard and she keeps going
so he comes again on her tits he's still
hard question mark has this author ever
[ __ ] a man question mark
there's no refractory period here right
he's just still hard
um so it also feels like a
if your erection lasts longer than
however many hours please seek medical
attention contact your physician yeah so
um then my notes say he eats her out and
she comes in seconds question mark has
this author ever [ __ ] a woman
hmm
we're just not setting realistic
expectations here none of these books do
yeah but this is like a special level
he's like hard forever and she just
comes on cue
um
he says he wants to make her hear colors
there's Declarations of possession
what's that called when you hear colors
there's like a specific title
synesthesia yeah
what did I know that's so fast orgasm
induced synesthesia
what I wonder what diagnostic code that
is for billing
um
are just the normal kind like what about
ICD-10 code
both both inquiring minds and all that
um
so there's a lot of section I don't
think there's a orgasm-induced blindness
orgasm-induced anesthesia orgasm and
Juice like seizures like I don't think
there's a section of the ICD there
should be because these books indicates
there's a ton of it
that orgasms can induce a lot of things
that we need to be prepared for as
professionals
as a medical professional have you ever
encountered a patient with
orgasm-induced
fill in the blank not that I'm aware of
I don't know if I can keep my face
straight no
if a client no came in and said that
okay sorry once anyway I keep my
tensions keep going
so okay
speaking of keeping my face straight so
this is a tangerine not relevant to
anything that's happening right now well
it's okay there's really not a plot
recently there's not so recently
um I was leading a group
there was this group discussion for
those of you who don't know Hannah works
at a substance abuse residential
facility I do and I was leading a group
of women okay and so we're talking about
something to do with
um one of the women was talking about
her coffee maker it was relevant it was
actually very emotional moment whatever
and one of the other women was like wait
wait wait it was on your coffee maker
I don't understand or no she said in
your coffee maker and this woman without
missing a beat looks directly at her and
goes no Elizabeth that's where I make my
crack and ever since then that's like my
response to things when I feel like
people say something stupid I just say
no Elizabeth that's where I make my
crack because dry is all anything just
and nobody in the group did anything and
I was like don't laugh was she joking or
did she actually she made her crack in
her coffee maker yeah which then led me
to more questions about the logistics of
that but I was like don't laugh don't
laugh don't laugh like a great hack
right sorry
I'm like was it a Keurig it's a crack
hack are we talking about
are we talking about a Mr Coffee like
what
is it a Cuisinart like I have a question
doesn't make it can you make foam can
you steam your milk
it ends up being like one of those like
really bougie La restaurants where
they're like here's your vodka as a foam
shot or like you breathe it like it's
like that right it's a latte and all of
the different parts of the latte
or crack infused or crack infused yeah
I don't know I didn't ask because again
it was actually a very serious moment
and so I was like do not
laugh
right now
we laugh later
we don't laugh now it was a lot I was
like doing crisis assessments where
you're like talking to someone who's
having a like true psychotic break they
are in the midst of all of these
delusions and you're like
they're saying some of the funniest [ __ ]
I have ever heard in my entire life
but it's also really like not the moment
and it's like really sad but then like
you're going to end that assessment and
go out and talk to your co-workers and
be like I just really need to tell you
about the assessment I just did yes here
are some quotes that are going in their
actual medical chart because
that's the best yeah because they need
to to really give the full experience of
what just happened yes and speaking of
that one of my co-workers sent me a uh
Tick Tock of this woman who like typing
on her computer and it said like
um uh patient refused 2 A.M Lorazepam
stating I will lorazepam dead ass you
funky ass [ __ ] get out of my room and
quotation marks physician contacted no
new orders will continue to monitor
or no it said redirection attempted
redirection not successful
we'll continue to monitor I think I read
a note one time that I was like
um client was a poor historian when
writer asked about
like abuse history client said [ __ ] you
and attempted to kick writer in the shin
yes we'll continue to monitor yes always
we'll continue to monitor okay anyway so
we are unfortunately still monitoring
this situation are we though like not
probably not how much more not really
much not really much
so
um lots of Declarations of possession
blah blah blah she comes again and it's
now like six o'clock in the morning so
somebody has shown up and knocks on the
door and is like are you okay like
everything all right in there
um
she still doesn't know his real name
she's still calling him glitch
that's not his his Christian government
name is not glitch glitch Jones the
third
yeah it's Grimace Jackson like what the
[ __ ]
also when you said that someone knocked
on the door was like are you okay I
watched a tick tock last week of
um this like husband walking in to the
room and his wife is recording she's
like so why was our daughter crying and
he's like
um because she heard you screaming and
wanted to make sure you were okay
and
she's like was I screaming and he's like
yeah yeah you were like the pride on his
face and she goes to talk to her
daughter and I wanted to see if you were
okay and no one answered me
but then of course in True Tech talk
fashion there's a full debate in the
comments section of people being like
hearing your parents have sex really is
traumatic for a child
I'm like
it's icky right but I don't I wouldn't
call that a capital T trauma no and I
feel the internet is
the tick tocks are very quick to call
things capital T trauma that I would not
give the same title to I was I super
appreciated there was a tick tock
earlier this week that I also watched
that was um
she is a psychologist and she was like
yeah your ex-boyfriend probably isn't a
true narcissist no
and your mother's not talk or your
mother-in-law is not toxic you just
don't get along
and just because you love things messy
doesn't mean you have ADHD just because
you like things orderly doesn't mean you
have OCD just because you do this like
and I'm like thank you yeah thank you
just because you don't like loud noises
or hearing people chew doesn't mean you
have autism yes like oh my God you're
not neurodivergent just because you
don't like hearing someone chew right
who does it's [ __ ] gross it is it's
you with your mouth closed yes yes like
and I really appreciated that she was
like
stop stop diagnosing get your [ __ ]
together yeah I think I might have told
you I had a client once
um
I what did I call him in session
I loved this client to Pieces but every
session he showed up and he's like do I
have this diagnosis do I have that
diagnosis no you don't
but I was like I think I caught him like
an emotional hypochondriac
I like that yeah
it was also true
and he was like am I
that is a diagnosis I will allow you to
internalize yeah
it's not an ICD-10 I was gonna say
what's the code for that okay
someone knocked on the door she still
doesn't know his real name yeah they
decided to go back to his place great
yay
um
uh he has romance novels everywhere
throughout the house and she's like do
you like to read so he takes her
upstairs and starts taking her like
towards his closet and for some reason
now she's concerned that he could be
some kind of insane psychopath and gonna
be like
putting her in a cage and chaining her
up and my notes say it's a little late
babe
like honey you've already brought him
back to your own place you've already
taken him to your art studio if he is a
psycho and you get away from him he can
find you anywhere like that's just
stupid
that's just stupid when I was dating I
did not ever take guys back to my place
I always went to theirs and I always
texted my sister the address and took a
picture of the license plate to the
point where she was like please find
another friend to send this information
to it's stressing me out
how many how many people were there that
she was like this is too much
a number
good for you girl bang good for you
thanks
um yeah but so now she's worried I do
think that is like the realest [ __ ]
about like especially like online dating
like meeting someone that you met on
Bumble in person or any dating site at
this point but like
the num like you really you're like okay
I'm going to this address I am going to
be there this time if I have not checked
in by this time right they're like but
we all do it yeah it's an actual yes and
we're not just like haha I just want to
like check on me you're like no no no no
like for real check on me if you have
not heard from me assume the worst yes
yes she hasn't alerted anyone that she's
with this person or where she is or
anything and he now knows the location
of where she works and her home
um Lord help me okay so
um
turns out he shows her his recording
studio where he records Mighty books
um he recorded what he called the kitty
series which is all about her like these
are his fantasies he's had over like the
two years that they've been talking and
so he plays them for her they bang
um
and
um he says that he like really regrets
not going after her sooner
um she finally asks his real name he
says it's Sean and she says that's my
favorite guy name and I my notes again
say who has a favorite guy name
and if they do why would it be why would
it be Sean
why would it be Sean I mean no offense
to Sean's in the world no I know some
great ones as do I also question
s-e-a-n-s-h-a-w-n-s-e-a-n
Sean or like our old co-worker Shaw but
just add an n on the end
s-h-a-h-n Sean no just s-e-a-n Sean
um you got married by the way oh good
for him that's nice yeah and you should
talk more about that we should yeah yeah
um so uh he explains why he goes by
Glitch it doesn't matter
um she asks to meet his sister and then
she's like oh never mind this is really
fast it's been less than 24 hours holy
[ __ ] that might have been too much
um and uh she says that she's really
stupid
um for not making a move sooner whatever
and he gets all like up in her face
about like don't ever call yourself
stupid you're amazing
um and she apparently starts having
flashbacks of verbal abuse from her exes
and he decides to kiss her to bring her
back to herself and he she like kind of
explains what happened when I was
working in crisis we did have a client
that would frequently have seizures that
could only
um end if she received mouth to mouth
what
what because I was literally about to
make a sarcastic joke about that
it was talk about trying to keep a
straight face
it was it was a whole a whole thing did
you guys have to see who drew the Short
Straw to give her mouth to mouth who
decided that
um
none of us gave her mouth to mouth her
her boyfriend was the one who gave no it
was an officer it was a policeman
but she did a whole like
was like laying on the ground I was like
like resuscitated
um
I felt really bad for that officer
I was not offering mouth to mouth
because
I know medically that if she is having a
seizure
that
making out is not going to I was like
she's definitely a person who would be
resuscitated and like sneak some tongue
and
I I had a guy a while a long time ago
that
um he asked him like how was your
weekend how are you doing he said well I
had two and a half seizures
and I was like
two and a half
he said yeah I started to have one last
night but I stopped it
foreign
I was like
you know you should probably like patent
that [ __ ] if you can stop a seizure in
the middle I'm impressed that is your
superpower yeah okay we're sorry I don't
know so we're at her house at his house
do they get married yeah not right now
but
um yeah I think that's okay he says
something about I want to see your your
belly round with my child he's known her
for 12 hours
um he [ __ ] her great there's more
hanky-panky that's literally what my
notes say
um there's just a little why did I put
this much detail about the
sex scenes Jesus Christ
um
so then
um they have sex without condoms and I'm
like they just trust each other right
now do they talk about it they do she's
like well I haven't had sex with any of
my last three boyfriends and he's like
well I haven't had sex in three years
and they're like cool that I'm on birth
control let's [ __ ]
bareback they they just trust each other
okay they just also I have questions
about the last several relationships but
like man to just raw dog it yes off the
rip
it's a bold choice
everything is a bold Choice okay so they
brow dog it yeah they he comes three
times and he's still going at whatever
he's still hard well he hasn't been with
a partner in three years Hannah it's all
built up
that's how it works
um so he's still hard anal seen
she feels super Spacey and she's like am
I in the Subspace what the [ __ ] like
no
no no
I hated every part of that whole
situation because if you are and he
didn't prep you for it ahead of time and
there was no discussion of consent we
have a separate issue but
he's like
he takes care of her whatever there's he
does have good Aftercare she decides
that she loves him so she tells him
um he wakes up they eat blah blah blah
he proposes again this is the same like
24-hour period he proposes again and she
says she wants to meet his sister so yep
okay so they do that
um none of this matters information
about are his dad left her her mom died
last year
um yeah glitch is like obsessed with
making sure she eats enough and drinks
enough and like taking good care of her
um
I don't know I don't this was a weird
note it's not important but she shaves
his face and then he shaves her legs
that's just it does feel important it's
well I don't I would not I don't want I
don't like that
correct like I would not want to shave
my husband's face like I would be
terrified that I was gonna like kill him
or cause him harm
let's just move on yeah so there's more
sex whatever
um
so blah blah blah they have phone sex he
goes to her Studio
she hasn't officially accepted my bad um
I made some assumptions
yep they go to dinner at his sisters
it's nice everybody gets along blah blah
blah
blah blah blah
family's really happy with her
um his nephew is like put a ring on it
we're into that
um
none of this matters okay so she they're
driving back to her place and my notes
say she starts smoking the bologna pony
on the way home
smoking the baloney pony that's what my
notes say I don't know what I was doing
well you know I guess riding the baloney
Pony yeah I guess again that's a BJ
situation
because then my notes say after her
protein shake she gets a message
yeah she gets a message from her from
her ex and she loses her [ __ ] and jumps
out of the car and runs away what so
because her ex took videos of her
masturbating somehow and is threatening
to release them
so she's terrified that glitch is going
to leave her over this like unless she
comes back to him yes okay yeah sorry
keep going so
um glitch is like I'm a tech genius
joke's on you traces the whole thing
lures the boyfriend to his house and
boyfriend
yes boyfriend punches him in the face
and then glitch lays him out and calls
the cops and is like surprise that was
this assault [ __ ] and this is my house
and my property you hit me on it and
then I defended myself so you're going
to jail
um then
he finds a bunch of like
horrifying things on his laptop and
decides he's gonna anonymously report it
um
blah blah blah
she paints they have a great time
he asks her to move in with him again
it's been like 36 hours now she says yes
epilogue
uh they're [ __ ] in the back of his
shop uh apparently it's been almost a
year they're getting married
um she's teaching free art classes at
his shop they bought a new house
together they're super excited and what
income she's teaching free art classes
so she's making money from her the art
that she sells apparently she is my bad
and he runs a very successful shop
is that is that the point you're gonna
get stuck
is that the one
is that the one we're stuck on maybe
Hannah maybe okay fair enough I can I
can respect it to quote
okay from our
hidden review in this economy
precisely they bought a house in this
economy precisely okay so he is super
obsessed with getting her pregnant in a
gross and weird way and that is the end
not like that no not like that one bit
no no I'm sorry
so to summarize
her ex-boyfriend kicked her computer
she met Sean glitch in person after she
had a crush on him and he had a crush on
her they realize they are into each
other they catfished her ex-boyfriend he
went to jail they stayed together yeah
did I miss anything not really um oh she
smoked the bologna pony he
has some medical condition
that allows them
to orgasm multiple times not need a
break or a refractory period
um and stay hard yep yeah
so
I feel
weird I don't know the word that I want
whenever I do one of these and I'm like
this is so bad and I'm so sorry and then
you're like here let me and you you
summarize it in like 30 seconds I'm like
[ __ ] I'm so sorry
it might be shame oh no don't feel shame
I mean I'm not going to tell you what
emotions to feel but don't feel but
don't feel that one
no I'm just kidding but yeah yeah you're
right that's it that's it
huh
I don't even know what kind of rating
scale we would use for this
um
laptops sure hard drives yikes not a
euphemism but it could be but it could
be
um copies of Ready Player One
or Ready Player Two
um how many Earnest clients would you
give it
feels like a really weird euphemism yeah
that feels disrespectful
um sorry earnest
although we did do Hugh Jackman last
season so
um
no I'll give it
um
like
I'm gonna do it out of gigabytes
oh love the vision okay okay I'm gonna
do like
two gigabytes out of
27.
that math is unnecessary I'm not gonna
try to do the math on it it was just
that rough
like
when I was reading it
literally like I can tell from my notes
that I was like no like the whole time I
was reading it but as soon as I started
it I was like this is the smug Club
potential book so I'm gonna outline it
but I was like no
like it was a very difficult for me
personally to get into any of it because
it was just so there was no like
character building there was no like
time for the relationship to Blossom
even though it said they had known each
other for years well it's more so the
relationship Blossom before the book
started
right we missed out on all of yeah so
then we come in and we do not feel that
no
um just feels forced and weird Okay so
2 out of 27 2 out of 27
I think that's a fair rating thank you
yeah
um
yeah
I might pass on this one
I think you read it enough for the both
of us I would agree yeah yeah so 2 out
of 27 let us know how many gigabytes you
would rate it or
terabytes
oh yeah that's that's more that is more
right I think so
how many gigabytes in a terabyte I don't
know
um if you know that answer let us know
as well this is where it's really
helpful when my husband is in the room
because he has the answers to these
things he does so
let us know how many you would rate how
many gigabytes or terabytes you would
rate glitch
um how many gigabytes or terabytes you
would rate the show feel free to leave
that on Spotify Apple podcast wherever
you listen to your podcast
um don't forget to subscribe and we look
forward to seeing you in two weeks
thanks y'all bye smart [ __ ] bye puppies
wherever we ended up choose your own bye
[Music]
well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ]
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senir
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[Music]
