Smut Club

well

hello all you beautiful people

you know what time it is

[Music]

ladies and gents

guys and dolls and everyone in between

gather round

get you something real nice to sip on

and comfy to slip on

because it's time

for smut club

here's your hosts chelsea and hannah

[Applause]

hey everybody i'm hannah and i'm chelsea

and welcome to smug club we're so glad

you're here we're so glad you found us

we don't know if that was intentional we

don't know if that was accidental

we don't know if you slipped and

accidentally hit play and you're like

what is happening here but regardless of

how you found us

we're glad you're here yeah welcome

welcome to the party welcome to the smut

the smut party i was hoping i could come

up with a pun on the spot and i failed

miserably

um i appreciate that you tried

the smut tacular

nope nope we'll we'll keep trying not

right now we won't but in the future

so today

um we are going to review

a book called top secret

by serena bowen and l kennedy they

partnered up for this one oh okay i

haven't read this one but i've read some

l kennedy and i've always thoroughly

enjoyed her stuff me too

um and this one i found by accident

because i had been reading a lot of l

kennedy um and just picked this one up

and didn't realize that it was male male

and actually fell in love with the story

and so

i decided to make this our first male

male review because it is one of my

comfort books i love it a lot

okay how many times would you say you've

read this book because i i've heard you

describe it as your comfort book several

times and i know like mine

and do you do this with your comfort

books where there will be like times

where you're like i'm not even reading

the whole thing cover to cover yeah i'm

just like

jumping in at like the 50

mark just like because i wanted a

comforting story

yeah so i would say

completely through i've read it three

times okay um one of those i want to say

was audio

it still counts it still counts but like

one of them was audio and then i have

like

when i've been in the car and like

caught up on my podcasts and not i don't

have an audio book or whatever

and i'm not in the mu the mood for

certain music or whatever like i'll put

this on even if i'm not like doing the

whole thing you know yeah

so

um i will first introduce us to our

first male main character his name is

keaton hayworth iii

um he kind of sounds like a douche a

little bit he is a uh football player

um

he is uh in a fraternity he's currently

running for frat president for the

following year

um he has been dating his girlfriend i

want to say for like five years her name

is annika

um very very stereotypical fat boy

energy from from keaton

however

we learn that he is super smart he's a

bio major

um and wants to study marine biology and

he's not just a stereotype exactly he's

also wicked smart um so we will find in

this book that there are a lot of tropes

like the most tropes we have the

football player we have the fraternity

brothers we have the

um

straight guy exploring his sexuality

we have male strippers i mean we have

all the tropes

so

we opened up that like some of those i

wouldn't even call tropes

for the male male

genre their tropes yeah strippers are a

trope and male male

i'm learning things and i'm i'm so happy

to teach you

so so keaton we open with him with his

girlfriend annika in a coffee shop

and um they are discussing the other

guys in the coffee shop and which ones

annika finds attractive because we

discover

that annika has requested for her 21st

birthday to have a

a threesome with another man

and keaton is he's basically says you

know what i'm a scientist we're gonna do

an experiment i don't know if i'm gonna

be into it but let's find out baby if

that's what you want for your birthday

happy birthday we'll make it happen we

love to see open communication in a

relationship yeah he's like let's let's

explore this for sure

but he's also like sweetheart we cannot

ask anyone we know

and she's like what do you mean he's

like i cannot just go ask one of my

fraternity brothers

to have a threesome with us yeah he's

pretty visible in their world yeah yeah

he's like and then you know well i'll

have to see him at a reunion in 10 years

and he's gonna be like there's that

pervert that has to see my dick like no

way we're not doing that it has to be a

stranger

um and annie as she is her nickname um

annie's like fine okay whatever like i

trust you you figure it out great

so keaton decides to download an app

called kink

so on this app you can uh select what

you're looking for what kind of

experience you're looking for what kind

of kinks you're into what kind of

partners you want

and so he makes a profile this feels

like a very well-rounded dating app

very much so maybe dating isn't just a

well-rounded app i mean it's a hookup

app yeah isn't that what all dating

appstar does basically yes

um so uh

he downloads this app he's a little bit

nervous but he's also kind of excited

um and he waits until because all of his

friends are around and they're talking

about he's running for frat president

and all this and that he waits until

they all leave to go to class and then

he downloads this app creates a profile

and kind of jumps in and is like let's

see what's what

so then we flash back and forth between

the two um points of view so our second

person um his name is luke bailey um he

is also in the fraternity he is also

running for frat president in the same

frat in the same frat and um we learned

very quickly that he does not have a lot

of money money is super tight for him um

he works crazy hours but we don't know

doing what yet um he's very very smart

very driven

wants to get into business and prove

himself

he makes a point to say because like a

vending machine eats his dollar or

something and the girl behind him offers

him a dollar and he's like no thanks

and in his head he's like i will never

take anyone anything from anyone in this

school ever

when i graduate it's gonna be because i

did it and everybody else can suck it

like not happening

um but he is exhausted a lot of the time

is he openly gay

he is openly bisexual okay um but he

doesn't

advertise it at the frat

also makes sense yeah yeah so um

actually

keaton's best friend in the frat hates

luke deeply

because luke

accidentally hooked up with his

ex-girlfriend at a party because he

didn't know that it was this guy's ex-ex

so this guy is like

he broke the bro code where

like he didn't know

there was a bro code there

he didn't but it doesn't seem to matter

so luke makes some allusions to like him

his family being kind of a mess not

having a lot of money

being super strapped for cash and all

all that kind of stuff

um and he also references keaton and

mentions how much he like [ __ ] hates

this guy so they live um on the same

floor in the frat house and keaton has

the big room

and luke has like what they call the

servant's quarters that's like basically

a little closet and they share a

bathroom on like the third floor of this

frat house

um and so he is constantly irritated

with keaton making noise

um

and he was gonna do some homework or

something he gets back to the house he

was gonna do some homework

but then he's like

[Music]

like i'm not really feeling it i'm gonna

get on kink

luke is super sex positive he does not

give a [ __ ] he is just here to do

whatever he wants to do that feels good

and is consensual yeah and he found an

app that

afforded him that outlet love to see it

exactly and he's like obviously i do not

have time at this point to like

coordinate a whole hookup but

let's see what's what what am i in the

mood for i'm in the mood for a threesome

so he selects it and starts swiping

and he comes across this profile and

there is a photo that has the faces

cropped out and he's like that makes

sense i don't have my photo in my or my

face in my photo either

uh we gotta be careful with this [ __ ]

um but these two are obviously super hot

i'm into that

let's see what's what so he matches with

someone called lobster shorts that is

the name of this person

and he's wearing um lobster short

uh

swim trunks in the photo so that's where

it came from i imagine like chubbies

swimming basically yeah that's the image

i'm getting okay um so they start

chatting a little bit and then um

they start talking about like luke

starts throwing out okay so

you know what are you and your girl into

you know like what what would be the

rules around this you know can i touch

you can i touch her do you want me to

[ __ ] her do you want to [ __ ] me like

what

what's happening

and keaton is like it's cute keaton's

like jesus christ like i was not being

prepared

and he's like bro if you haven't thought

about this you're not ready and he's

like no it's not that it's not that i'm

not open to it it's just that i didn't

know what to expect and i need a moment

to kind of consider it

so

annie definitely wants you to touch her

he doesn't use her name but he's like my

girlfriend definitely wants you to touch

her so yeah and then i don't know if i

want you to touch me maybe

and like i have to say i really

appreciate the conversations they're

having

like

there's there's no guessing it's all

open like let's all make sure we're on

the same page we are all consenting to

the same thing

like

really loving this energy exactly

so

when

lobster shorts says i don't know if i

want you to touch me he's like let's do

an experiment

and he basically starts sexting him a

scenario of

uh

like a guy between his legs right

and uh like going down on him basically

preparing to give him a [ __ ] and

right before like the money moment

brandon's upset about what's about to

happen

right before the money moment

luke is like

so you have a homework assignment you

finish the fantasy and tell me

tell me what you come up with

and lobster shorts is like are you

[ __ ] serious

you're gonna leave me with my dick in my

hands right now and he's like yes i am

and so

so that's kind of the initial

interaction um but there's a lot of like

really cute back and forth where

keaton starts talking about lobster sex

because

luke was making fun of his lobster

shorts and he's like lobsters are

amazing do you know how they mate and

luke is like what the [ __ ] are you

saying right now

and he's like well

um the dude like pees into the woman's

shelter or the female lobster's shelter

and then she's like i'm into that

and then he comes in and strips off her

shell like a prom dress that's a direct

quote

strips off her prom dress like a like

her strips off her shell like a prom

dress and then they do a missionary

style

and luke was like the [ __ ] is this

i'm learning

more than i thought i would today

whenever i think of lobsters i just

think of like you're my lobster like

when people are like lobsters mate for

life right um but i've never actually

thought of the inner workings of their

sexual intimacy

well now you know now i now i absolutely

do

so then um

luke is chilling trying to do homework

he's signed out of the app his mom calls

asking him for money apparently this is

a common thing his mom is kind of a

piece of [ __ ] and doesn't really support

him which is why he can't live at home

anymore and she's asking him for money

which is very frustrating and will

become very important in the future okay

um so he has an older brother who's

recently out of prison

and mom is like we decided to start a

business like you should invest and he's

like the [ __ ] is this like absolutely

christ

um

so then

um he goes into where he works and we

find out that he is a male stripper

um

and makes excellent money stripping um

at this club he gets along great with

his

um

co-workers and everything

um

and he starts thinking about

like he he says he needs to pick up some

extra shifts because he starts thinking

about the

um a huge part of the um fraternity

president

race campaign whatever the [ __ ] um is

something called the presidential

dance-off

and they have to basically throw a party

like each one of them has to throw a

party under a certain budget

as the thing

and so he's thinking about what he's

going to do for his dance off so it's

in my head when when i hear dance off i

think like dance battle

um right but that's not it because he

says like if if this were an actual

dance-off i would [ __ ] kill it

but it's not so

so i just have to throw a dance

under a certain budget

okay continue

so then we flash back to keaton

um keaton goes to have um brunch with

his dad

um

and um he takes annika with him they

accidentally wake up luke when they're

leaving and he's wicked pissed because

he got in at like two or three in the

morning because he's working at a strip

club but nobody knows that

so they go to lunch or brunch or

whatever rich people do

they're filthy rich and that becomes

relevant later um they go to brunch with

his dad

um who starts kind of talking about well

you know when you come work for my

company when you come work for my

company and keaton has zero interest in

that he wants to go into

biology and be like a field researcher

he does not want to be in

pharmaceuticals um dad does not

understand that and is pressuring him to

go for an internship

so

i don't know where this is going

which is like the big so

and

sigh okay color me intrigued so

so but that's part of it right is that

there is just not a ton of like intense

intrigue in this book there are a couple

of moments when you're like god oh

oh man but for the most part it's like

this is really nice

and now that i'm reviewing it i'm like

oh man that might not have been the

choice for

this podcast because it is like oh

that's really nice like it's not that

it's not that intense hannah we can just

review books that we like that are nice

to read like not every book has to be

something that we would describe as a

dumpster fire

honestly it's kind of a nice reprieve

that's fair that's fair

um i just also want to be entertaining

and i don't know that it is so

i mean i'm entertained do you need more

wine

would wine make it more entertaining for

you probably not i mean like i said i'm

entertained that's not the issue

um

okay

so

um

blah blah blah after

the

um

the brunch keaton it decides to get um

back on the dating app because he feels

like he needs a distraction because

you know things brunch with his dad

wasn't great yeah and this is a couple

of days later um and so

um

so they start kind of sexting a little

bit

um because

who we know is luke but keaton doesn't

know as luke

is like so how'd you do on the

assignment and he was like i'm i'm doing

fine and he's like fine like b-minus

and

lobster shorts is like uh keaton is like

in my family b-minus is a failure so

no oh honey i only do a work

um and so

um they start

kind of going back and forth

um and then um

they kind of start again like sexting

and um luke starts going into detail

about how he would give him a [ __ ]

right

um and so

they are getting more and more into it

keaton is very turned on and he's like

well damn okay that sounds like a great

[ __ ] i guess we're going for it here

um

so um

then luke does ask him he's like are you

at home

close the door

like

i want you to actually do this with me

in real time

um and keaton is like oh

that is a line

that i am ready to cross

he's like

okay

so it sounds like he didn't have to

think about it much like he's like oh he

didn't okay yeah he didn't um and luke

is not at home so center three is his

handle on the app he is not at home um

and so he's like i wish i could be doing

this with you but i can't but he does

take a little sneaky pic of his abs to

send

um for him to get off to

and so there's a lot of detail about

that

about

like the the sexting [ __ ]

um

and um

keaton's like what the [ __ ] just

happened like i just came super hard and

i was not mentally or emotionally

prepared for that

and they did not bring up annika the

entire time and the whole point of this

is organizing this threesome for her for

her 21st birthday right

and he's like

was that cheating he's like i don't

think so because i'm doing research for

this threesome like it's not

not building a relationship i'm like

betting this person it reminds me of um

friends and like one of the like the

flashback where like

because ross and his first wife

has he has multiple wives but him and

his first wife

end their marriage because she realizes

that she is a lesbian and into women and

like a flashback where it's like oh like

we're like bringing a woman into the

bedroom and then he's like so have you

ever like been having a great time and

then realize like

if you weren't there they'd still be

having a great there's like something

like that yeah i don't it's been a long

time since i saw the episode but like

tonally it feels similar where it's like

we were organizing this for you

but then you weren't there

and we had a great time without you yeah

yeah exactly

um

so then um

[Music]

uh

luke knows that so luke sends the

picture

um he knows that

lobster shorts is super into it but he's

also like maybe i pushed him too far

because obviously he's in a relationship

with a woman like maybe he's not ready

for all of this

especially since like their first

conversation

he was like can i touch you can i touch

her what's the land and keaton was like

oh

i don't know any of this

so luke is not playing around here luke

is not playing around down to business

he's ready to go

maybe lobster shorts hasn't

hasn't thought all of this through still

maybe like maybe that's not a fair

assessment that he hasn't thought it

through still but just like

it's a big leap for him yeah so then

keaton is kind of panicking because he

had this experience and so he logs out

of the app

so then um

luke is back at home

um we find out that the reason he's

running for frat president so nobody

really likes him in this frat like he's

just kind of there but the reason he's

running for president is he finds out

that the president gets free rent

and he really really needs that

he really really needs that so um that's

basically the whole point

so then he gets in a little tiff with

some of the guys um about um

uh pledge week because they want to

force the pledges to [ __ ] watermelons

and then whoever lasts the longest has

to then eat the watermelon stop

and luke is like hey

that is sexual assault and they're like

what are you talking about it's

hilarious and he's like no

you're forcing them to complete a sexual

act

while you watch that's sexual assault

like

don't do that and they're like why are

you always raining on our parade

remember me he's like i'm trying to make

sure we can stay afraid and when we do

[ __ ] like this for hazing

we can all get arrested yes

so um

so yeah so that's really awkward

um and most of the guys who are on that

uh committee are keaton's friends and so

he tells

he sees keaton in the kitchen and he's

looking a little weird

a little flustered

and so luke is like hey you should

probably tell your buddies to cool it

with the pledge committee stuff like you

may want to follow up on that

um

and they clearly have a very contentious

relationship like they're not not fans

of each other

um

so okay

so

um keaton is still

with annika he's trying to figure out

what the [ __ ] to do for this dance-off

he has planned nothing and it's coming

up really soon and he's kind of freaking

out and he's like

so they're at brunch again with his dad

and his dad is like well let me tell you

what i did and he planned this like

elaborate thing with cirque du soleil

performers or some [ __ ]

and keaton's like oh no

oh no

i can't do that in two weeks i'm [ __ ]

like i'm super [ __ ] okay

um because his dad i forget that's why

he was um running in the first place

because his dad wanted him to run

because their legacy or whatever um

so

he's freaking out he's still messaging

center three

on this kink app all the time and it's

kind of escalating more and they're

starting to talk about things that are

not sex related like they're just

talking about

stuff

life stuff

um

and every now and then keaton will be

like oh [ __ ] yeah annika would be super

into watching us do that

like well my girlfriend he doesn't say

her name but like my girlfriend would be

super into watching us do that

yeah

because he realizes that maybe he's

crossing a line on some of this stuff

so

um so he's like i should casually

mention that my girlfriend would like to

watch that to make me feel better about

the things that i am doing that i feel

like i probably shouldn't be doing

because i have a girlfriend

right got it um and they start doing

like weird animal sex facts of the day

because keaton is super into biology and

all this other stuff so he talks about

like that apparently kangaroos can

masturbate

fun fact that i didn't need to know but

now you do

um and like just random things like that

and luke is like you know what

i kind of like this guy like i actually

kind of like him he's really fun i hope

that this whole

threesome thing really does happen so

how far out is her birthday like two

months

oh so we really we put more time into

planning this than the dance off yes

okay so her birthday is like right after

the new year

um

so

um there you know luke is exhausted

because he's working crazy hours and

doing all this school stuff super

irritated with keaton because he always

has his music too loud and is making too

much noise and at one point annika is

over

um in keaton's room

and is complaining about something and

he's like

if y'all don't even have the decency to

have sex so that i can hear it can you

shut the [ __ ] up like i cannot with

y'all right now like he's so irritated

so do we like the girlfriend or are we

supposed to be annoyed by her so she's a

little bit of like a rich [ __ ]

connecticut kind of situation but she's

also very sweet

um

so

like a little bit of both

so then keaton decides he knows what

he's gonna do for the dance off and he's

like i'm gonna make this [ __ ] happen so

he decides to throw a

beach party in december

so he gets all these heaters

sand

lays booze all that stuff

um and it's a great party

however

he starts to take note of some of the

other dudes and their bathing suits and

i was like

huh good for him like that's good

nice like okay and he actually has the

thought he's like it used to be when i

was at the gym and i saw a guy doing

squats i'd be like nice form and now i'm

like nice

[Laughter]

so

um so then he and annika like he kind of

alludes to the fact that they haven't

really been having sex regularly lately

um but they've been together for so long

that it's not really a big deal it's

just like one of those things uh but

they do have sex the night of his dance

off

because he got so turned on watching the

one gay brother in the fraternity making

out with another dude but he neglects to

tell his girlfriend that bit

right would you

probably

well maybe not

actually

like

i think it

i don't cuz like just thinking it

through i'm like okay would you be like

i want

like because it does it wasn't really

about getting off with her it was just

that other things

aroused him and and other men aroused

him

and

i guess if i was 21 in that situation i

probably would do the same thing

yeah like

trying to figure out your sexuality and

it's like already been like not

consistent sex with your partner and

then

like

i don't know

how i would receive that right be like

i just really needed to get my dick wet

because someone else made me really hot

and you were the option that i have

right

i mean that might be like a really like

harsh way of of cutting that but i'm

like maybe a little bit yeah

but i'm like yeah i don't

i don't know if i would you how you

would if you tell him i mean he does

talk about how much he loves her and how

gorgeous she is and all this and that i

i mean he he does care for her i'm not

disputing that he cares for her i'm just

purely going off of his motivations for

this sexual encounter

little column a little column b

maybe column c

lots of c indeed

um so lots of d indeed

so that just makes me think of there's a

big boy song well technically i guess

it's big grams he did it never mind but

he says um

she needs a vitamin d overdose and i do

mean d

and that's all i can think about now

that's one of my favorite lines of music

ever

yeah i just not it wasn't a line of

music but i once remember having a

conversation with co-workers and

someone had an actual vitamin d

deficiency

and one of the dudes was like

i don't have a vitamin d deficiency then

he's like well

maybe it's like just like took it and

ran with it forever and we're like

you're just describing the size of your

dick with a vitamin d deficiency analogy

and you have continued this analogy for

a while too far

that was kind of

his style

was that the energy he brings yeah the

energy he brought was that joke should

have ended a few sentences ago

i hate that when it's like sweetheart

you did so good

but you need to stop if i'm like reign

it in just a smidge pull it in and we'd

be at the sweet spot but you keep

passing the sweet spot

and that's why you have a vitamin d

deficiency

hey there's my puppies

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let's get back to the show

[Music]

okay so annie and keaton phone because

he's aroused by the other people at the

party he does still he's is still into

her but once again

yeah that's not something at 21 that i

like i don't think there's a way to like

tactfully say that right at 21 at least

i didn't have that tact no nor would i

um so then um

luke is like damn like he did a really

good job with this party

um but i'm not worried i think i got it

so keaton is super irritated because

luke tells everybody they have to come

in like

like semi-formal

wear

it's a classier party yeah and it's the

dinner party

and the servers are all

stupid hot like they all have like huge

tits and they're gorgeous are they all

the stripper friends yes but they don't

know that so the guys are all like

hey

while they're being served this food and

the food is delicious

um and then um one of the guys is like

so is that it

like this we just had a dinner party

with hot servers this was the party and

then luke is like if everyone will raise

your glasses and so they all raise up

and he just stands there and they're

like are you are you gonna make your

stupid toast or whatever he's like no i

just needed you to move your [ __ ]

and then all the girls come out and they

get on the table and start dancing

and keen is like [ __ ] me running like he

really did this like damn

um and he had like poker tables set up

and like the guys were all super into it

so

um

luke feels like he nailed it and he's

like yeah they're my my friends from

work like i just paid them a little

extra to come help me

um but the guys don't know that so

they're all like how do you know so many

strippers teach me your ways and he's

like no

um

um

he's like he was also like do not touch

them i will [ __ ] you up

and at the end he was like there was

only one stupid sophomore that i had to

punch in the face so overall good night

honestly for a frat party filled with

strippers pretty good yeah that feels

like good odds pretty good like okay

because a sophomore you're what like 19

maybe 20 19 20 yeah yeah so like

like your brain's not fully developed i

mean none of their brains are so like

for their level of brain development

only one feels like good odds pretty

good pretty decent

so

um

that goes all really well they're

continuing to message on the app they

don't realize that it's the two of them

messaging back and forth

um

they

uh

keaton

is really upset about spending time with

his parents over christmas because his

dad is continuing to pressure him about

uh the internship at his company and all

this other stuff

um luke is really upset because when he

goes home his mom just continues to ask

him for money

for various things and then his brother

calls him the f word and demands that he

pay him or he's gonna tell all of his

fraternity brothers that he's a stripper

which is just not ideal like that is not

what we want from our big brother you

know to put it mildly yeah or from

anyone like we don't want that from

anyone but especially our big brother

um so luke is really frustrated and

upset by this whole thing

so um he winds up messaging lobster

shorts who is keaton

um and is like what are you doing on the

app like aren't you spending time with

family and keaton is like nope are you

and keaton's like i would rather be

like be dead than deal with that [ __ ]

right now so then they

uh

start sending each other videos

no faces but of them jacking it and

super hot and girlfriend still doesn't

know she still does not know that keaton

is on this app

she knows that he has committed to

organizing this threesome for them

she does not know he's on this app so

that actually comes up over this

christmas exchange

where luke is like bro is there even a

girl

like it's cool if there's not

but like you need to tell me because

this is not

yeah she needs to know because he wants

to see pictures of their faces

and keaton's like i can't send that to

you

because my girlfriend doesn't know he's

like well if your girlfriend doesn't

know then what the [ __ ] are we doing

right now

yeah it's a little scaby

so i appreciate luke's principles and

morals yes

so keaton then promises he's gonna tell

annika when he gets back um from from

christmas

um

so he does he talks to annika and he's

like listen i found this guy he seems

really great but then he realizes he

doesn't want to show her

the messages that they've been sending

back and forth because it's all them

sexting and he's like oh yeah it's a

it's way more messages than she would be

bargaining for without

yeah so he just takes like a screenshot

of a couple

and sends them to her

um also if y'all hear what sounds like a

whale crying in the background it's my

pug crying on not crying snoring

on the floor

um

i hear it very loudly

too and so if if y'all are hearing it as

well

um it's not a weird animal sex fact from

this book it's just my dog who's a pug

so he has some breathing issues

he snores he does it's very endearing

and the nasal strips don't work for him

because he doesn't really have a snout

he doesn't bless his little pug face

we love him we do sorry just needed to

give that caveat in case you all hear it

that weird sound

is brandon is brandon the pug

so

keaton sends these screenshots to annika

to tell her that he found their person

because this hookup is supposed to be in

like 10 days for her birthday for her

21st birthday

so she's like uh who is this person

and he's like no listen like i vetted

him he seems really great blah blah blah

blah and she's like

okay i guess

so they

so they decide um they're gonna get a

hotel room and they're gonna do all this

stuff so then

um keaton tells luke

bye brandon

so brandon has cbd treats

that he gets like one each morning to

stay calm but knowing that we were

recording today i gave him two

and to be fair with his weight size that

is appropriate no one

don't panic yeah don't panic don't at me

about this it is entirely okay um but we

have a little like bed next to us on the

ground so my husband just came and

picked him up and

put him on the couch

he just needed a little relocation

he did bless his sweet little pug soul

he's so precious he's the purest

little being he is like

i we're we're obsessed with our pets

we're one of those households like

we are definitely a our pets are our

children as are we household so

i think it's also why we're friends both

of our dogs wear diapers yup

like

you know we can get into that another

time

maybe we won't and he's asking some

questions about like so where did you

find this guy and what's going on yeah

yeah exactly so um keaton is like

telling her basically no i've been

vetting him he's fantastic we're gonna

do this

um

so then he coordinates with luke luke is

like okay um i'll see if i can get the

night off of work we'll make it happen

book the hotel like let's do this [ __ ]

so the night arrives

of annie's 21st birthday

keaton is having a great time and he is

super excited to meet this guy he still

doesn't know his name and has never seen

his face but he has very much enjoyed

their conversations he feels like

they're getting to know each other

they're learning more

um like he's learning that you know this

guy has issues with money and he works a

lot and um you know all these different

things about each other they're they

really like each other they're they're

building a friendship

so he's very excited to meet this guy

however

annie is like

is someone actually coming

tonight

and keaton is like yes

you asked me for this and i told you i

was going to do it and i always follow

through on a promise like when she's

saying that like does she not want

someone to does she not believe that he

actually did it both okay both

like she's like almost like a

yeah this was fun in theory but like now

that we're here like oh

we're we're really doing this now right

okay so she's like

i don't want to do this and he's like

are you serious like

you asked me for this

and she's like yeah but

i just thought you would get the hint

that we need to spice up our sex life

and suggest like edible underwear or

some handcuffs or something i didn't

think you'd actually do it

and he's like

i promised you that i would do it

he's on his way here right now

but he's like obviously

i'm never gonna force my girlfriend to

do something that she's not comfortable

with sexually so like what the [ __ ] like

i'm [ __ ] now

um and that actually happens earlier in

the book too like he's super horny when

he wakes up in the morning and like

rolls over to like nuzzle on her and

she's like i am sleepy and he's like

okay honey i love you he's like cause

only a dick wakes up your girlfriend for

sex when she's trying to sleep

oh

i mean yeah it is very endearing and

very sweet but i'm also kind of like

annika well i'm like you you can't have

both

you can't like want things spicier and

then like if the biggest spice

if the

if the red pepper flakes of the

situation

are that he woke you up

nuzzling him like that's

that's like

garlic what are you what do you have in

your head apparently edible underwear

was her whole solution right or

handcuffs or something

so keenan was like well [ __ ] like he's

on his way here right now he's gonna be

here like any second and keaton's super

excited to meet him exactly so he is

like really embarrassed and he doesn't

want his new friend to think that he's

the one backing out

and he's like [ __ ]

so she's like we'll just message him

right now and tell him not to come oh

and he's like

okay okay

so like as he's pulling his phone out

there's a knock on the door

and then we switch to luke's perspective

and luke is super excited he took the

night off of work which is a big deal

for him because money matters

and he cleaned up and he's super excited

and he's like i wonder if i'm at the

right room but i hear male and female

voices so must be

and then

keaton who is his roommate

opens the [ __ ] door and he is like

hey

they're like uh

i think i have the wrong

room neither of them saw this coming no

not even a little bit so then keaton

uh says actually like we're uh we're

good

we're good um

like kind of ends up giving them an out

because

he's like oh oh i know you yeah we're

good so

okay no okay

so then luke starts to get a little

heated and he's like

what so annika's in there annika's in

there the the daughter of like she's

some kind of heiress to some huge

fortune or some [ __ ] he's like

so so annie's in there she wants to get

doubled down

you right are we doing this or what

because he's like super pissed because

they both think that they like catfished

each other

and he's like

they're both like no this is just a

stupid coincidence and i had no [ __ ]

clue this is crazy

and again luke is super pissed he took

the night off of work and so keaton's

like well can't you just like

go in now he's like no jackass for

somebody who's never worked a day in

their life i'm already going to be late

my boss is going to be pissed i don't

know that i'm going to get what i need

to get blah blah blah

um and caitlyn's like well i'm really

sorry but you should go

thanks bye hmm awkward yeah

and very disappointing because they both

really liked this person that they found

so then

um luke goes to work and he gets smash

hammer drunk afterwards with the other

strippers and then

um

he

uh

takes an uber home

and he's starting to feel like he's

sobered up a little bit he goes upstairs

and he hears

music and stuff happening in keaton's

room and he's like whatever i guess they

decided to come back here instead of

staying in the hotel doesn't matter

but then all of a sudden keaton like

busts into his room and is like where

have you been all night i've been

waiting for you all night what are you

doing and he's like bro

you need to calm down are you drunk

right now and he's like yes i'm drunk

annika broke up with me and he's like

what

and he's like yeah she said that

um

the passion isn't there in our

relationship anymore

and she thought you know i was gonna

spice it up with some handcuffs or

something and that's why she backed out

and blah blah blah blah and he's very

heartbroken because again they've been

together for a really long time

so he's heartbroken i'm really

frustrated and um luke is like well what

do you want me to do about it and then

they kind of start making out a little

bit

like the sexual tension has built

they start making out a little bit and

then keaton's like holy [ __ ] i'm like

ah

oh this is this is where the red pepper

flakes were and not with annika exactly

he was like oh my god um so then i i'm

pretty sure that at this point luke

blows him

pretty sure um and then

like jacks himself and comes on his

chest or something like that whatever

it's not really relevant to the story to

be honest but they have like their first

sort of sexual experience together

um they're both intoxicated

um and then keaton is kind of freaking

out afterwards like grabs his stuff and

like hustles

he's like oh god like

hustles on out

um so then there's more of this like

awkward tension they see each other

around the frat house and luke is

starting to get kind of irritated so

he's making like little snide comments

but then he gets surprised that keaton

starts returning these snide comments

they get back on kink they're continuing

to chat

and then

um

they just start [ __ ] basically

um like that's basically what it is

and keaton

luke tells keaton that he is like a

golden retriever puppy

because he's just so happy all the time

and he just wants to play with a frisbee

and he's really excited to be part of

the group and is just looking forward to

it and luke is not even a dog he is an

alley cat passing through and he's not

interested in the commitment

and keaton is like that's fine but i'm

asking for exclusivity it will only be

the two of us like if i'm [ __ ] you

nobody else is [ __ ] you

and luke also has been unwilling now

that i said that luke has also been

unwilling for keaton to [ __ ] him so far

luke has [ __ ] keaton

um but not the other way around

um lots of [ __ ] and

uh tustin jimber lakes and

uh other

other things

um so then they

they're having fun i mean they're

they're just having fun kind of hanging

out they're keeping a secret from the

frat um

the

then

luke gets a phone call from his mom

and uh keaton overhears him yelling in

the other room and he's like the [ __ ] is

that so he goes and he's kind of

eavesdropping and he hears

luke say well i don't have a car mom i

don't know how i'm going to get there

fine whatever i'll try to borrow a car

bye

and so his mom had called asking for

money because she spent all of their

money and didn't have enough to pay her

heat bill and this is new england in the

winter and so he was like well damn like

i can't i'm not gonna be able to sleep

at night if i let my mom [ __ ] freeze

to death

so keaton is like let me drive you and

luke is like for the love of god please

no like

no luke is the commitment phobe in all

this he's like absolutely not

caitlyn's like bro come on

so he takes him it's very awkward

um

they go find his brother as well and

keaton watches

luke's brother

again call him the f word

and just be very belittling and threaten

to beat him up and stuff

and even makes derogatory comments

towards keaton when keaton gets out of

the car thinking he needs to help

luke

um and he's like bro your family

your family and he's like yeah i know

let's never talk about it again

he's just deeply ashamed of of his

family

um so

things continue to progress

um

they are

banging a lot

um and keaton's super into it however he

misses annika a lot because that was

like his best friend even if they

weren't like sexually compatible

necessarily

he really misses his best friend yeah

it's been a long time in their

relationship and he's like i wish i had

somebody to talk to about luke but i

don't because i can't talk to any of my

frat brothers about it

so he he winds up calling annika annika

tells him that she's also dating someone

and they miss each other and and so they

start platonically hanging out again

which luke feels weird about which makes

keaton really happy i'm gonna say luke

feels weird about it so keaton's like

hell yeah he's like

[Laughter]

he's like do you love me i bet you love

me because he's like a golden retriever

puppy he's so excited about everything

um so then

um

keaton finds out that it is

luke's

birthday

luke wasn't gonna tell anybody anything

about [ __ ] but one of the other brothers

knew so they were planning a party for

his birthday oh so keith

is like

hey babe

uh you wanna come on a drive with me

and luke's like not really i was gonna

go for a run and he's like nope you

promised we're going thanks

so they start driving

luke thinks they're going into town or

something and

all of a sudden keaton is driving

to the city it's like where are we going

and he's like don't worry about it

and luke is like i don't play that

[ __ ] game where are we going right

now or i'm going to jump out of the car

while it's moving like luke is a very

aggressive salty pretzel he is

very salty about everything

um i prefer the like the honey mustard

and onion pretzels

noted

uh like the straight salt ones

that's that's

if anything he's salt and vinegar if

anything he's

i can work with salt and vinegar i do

enjoy salt and vinegar yeah myself

um but that's that's the energy that

luke brings very soft like

we we but we also like understand his

life history and like we

we see how he got there and we love him

and support him through it exactly

so

um turns out keaton has planned

a weekend getaway for his birthday and

um when they go into the hotel room luke

is like what else did you do

because he he's like i know you

and you are extra as [ __ ]

what else did you do it is not just a

hotel room just no i'm not here for the

surprises no just tell me um

um he also got him concert tickets they

have dinner reservations and then they

have like some kind of uh brew tap

festival thing they're going to go to

and luke is like okay and like turns

around and goes into the bathroom and

keaton is like oh no

oh dear

maybe i am too extra

maybe i am a golden retriever puppy i'm

so sorry okay but also for like being

like college age that is a like thorough

birthday plan he has a hell of a trust

fund his dad owns a pharmaceutical

company i mean like here's the thing

it's still thoughtful yeah i was going

to say money aside just like that level

of thoughtfulness i'm like that is very

thoughtful yes

so um lou comes out of the bathroom and

he's actually in tears and

keaton is like what he's like do you

know the last time someone even

remembered my birthday i was 16 and my

mom didn't even get me anything

like oh

and so keaton is like oh my god like my

heart is melting

um and so they have a fantastic weekend

together

um and then um

keaton like they start to to

get frisky or whatever

um and luke is like i bet you're

probably too sore

to to do anal again and he's like well i

mean free like for you we could figure

it out and he's like no no no like i'm

not going to hurt you why don't you do

me and keaton is like best day ever

like happy birthday to me

um even though it is not his birthday um

and so this is a very magical intimate

weekend for them they have a fantastic

time and i i completely forgot so before

this

um some of the frat brothers one of them

is having a birthday and the frat

brothers decide they're gonna go to a

strip club

and there are two strip clubs next to

each other one is a men's strip club one

one is a women's strip club and they go

into the wrong strip club

and the guys figure that out immediately

and leave but then keaton is still

standing there talking to the hostess

and then he sees sam or sam he sees luke

come out

dancing to a sam smith's dong

getting naked and he's like god damn

like okay

and so he realizes that he's a stripper

um and luke is again very ashamed very

secretive about it but keaton is like

it's super hot and like can i come watch

you sometime and luke is like absolutely

the [ __ ] not

no stay away from me

so anyway this is a big deal for them to

have this intimate weekend together it's

a big deal so

as they're driving back

luke is driving keaton's car

and they start to pull up to the frat

house and there are all these cop cars

everywhere and they're like what oh no

so they start to get out of the car and

then

one of the cops is like are you luke

bailey and he's like uh yep yep and he's

like cool you're under arrest and he's

like what what

for what

and he's like don't worry about it and

like puts him on the hood of the car and

like frisks him and does all this stuff

and luke is flipping the [ __ ] out he's

like i literally have no idea what is

happening right now can you please tell

me why i'm being arrested and they're

like you'll find out down at the station

and like shove him in the car

turns out he's being accused of robbing

the school

um like stealing some computers from the

school or something i was really hoping

this was going to be a sex thing

no

stealing some computers from the school

like i thought it was going to be like

hot cop strippers no

wishful thinking for all of us

for everyone involved these are not hot

cop strippers if anything they're

bigoted and terrible

so

um

they get to the police station and they

say they have it was his school id

that unlocked the doors to steal these

computers

it was his [ __ ] brother so it turns

out that one of his frat brothers didn't

realize

that luke's brother was not someone that

needed to be around and he had shown up

at the frat house and even showed his id

to prove he was luke's brother and so

the guy was like okay i guess

if you're luke's brother like go on up

and leave him a node in his room or

whatever and he had stolen all the cash

that luke had and

his school id

um

i'm but look at him rather right but

luke didn't know that because then he

immediately went out of town

so he didn't know

so the cop is like sounds pretty

convenient so you gave your brother your

school id and then went on a little

weekend getaway and he's like no

jesus christ he's like i think i need an

attorney

oh my god

so when we flash back to the the frat

house keaton is flipping out so he calls

his dad oh i forgot to mention as well

so

luke has been coming to the brunches

with keaton's dad

every now and then

because keaton really doesn't want to be

alone with his dad

they just don't really get along so

luke's been coming along and he's a

finance major and so he and his dad are

like really hitting it off and like

besties for life

so

keaton calls his dad and he's like dad

what do you do when somebody gets

arrested he's like what are you talking

about right now

um i thought you were with annika

because it turns out dad had checked

keaton's credit card receipts and saw

that he booked a hotel and just assumed

that he was with annika and that they

had gotten back together and he's like

no i was with luke and he his dad's like

luke bailey and he's like uh yeah he's

like like like finance luke yeah one of

the same yep that's the one nailed it

so um his dad is like let me call

somebody who is um

licensed in connecticut we'll figure it

out

so um then the whole frat is standing

there staring at him like what the [ __ ]

are you doing right now what is going on

and he's like hey

everybody

awkward

um so then

they all overheard the conversation

about he and luke spending the weekend

together

so now they all know

um which was very upsetting for

everybody

um because keaton had backed out of the

frat president race because he realized

that luke was doing it to get free rent

and he needed the money

so he backed out of the race which

pissed luke off a lot

were they the only two running mm-hmm

okay and the rest of the frat did not

understand what was going on

so when all this came out

keaton's best friend was like oh i see

so you were [ __ ] him

and

like he turned you and got you to

like manipulated you into doing all this

and he's like it's it's a fraternity

president situation like it's not that

serious

and no that's not what happened that's

not what happened and also

like

it is not like an actual

big campaign that's happening here it's

not

so um and through all of this keaton is

also applying for an internship

um

that would put him

basically out at sea for two months over

the summer

um

that he's really excited about but

hasn't mentioned to his parents because

his dad still wants him to do the

finance

internship with his whole stuff right

yeah so

all this is happening at the same time

um and then

uh luke meets his public defender who's

basically trash

and luke is like no listen

if you call the hotel where i stayed

like they can tell you like they can

show you the video i was there

and um the guy's like yeah okay we'll

we'll figure that out when we get to

trial but for now you're gonna have to

pay your bail and he's like bail like i

don't i barely have money for rent like

i can't pay bail and he's like well

that's really tough for you

and so luke is really freaking out he's

like holy [ __ ] i'm gonna be here

forever like i'm gonna lose my

scholarship i'm not gonna be able to

graduate everything i've been working

for is just gonna go up in flames like

oh my god

but then another attorney shows up and

says there won

and says to the public defender you're

fired get out

and so

he gathers all this information he's

like the hayworth's hired me i'm here

for you i got it covered no problem and

basically immediately gets the charges

dropped like as soon as he walks into

the courtroom

he's like the the college is not going

to like it if you're charging a student

with a crime that he clearly did not

commit this is lazy police work so

unless you would like to get a phone

call from one of your largest tax bases

i strongly suggest that you drop these

charges thank you

it was very elwood's like it was very

legally blonde moment where he was just

like ciao did he bend and snap i don't

it wasn't specified but yes in my mind

he did

in my mind and in my heart yes that's

what happened

um so then luke is

traumatized by spending a night in jail

and having all of this happen so he goes

back to the frat house realizes that

everybody knows that he and keaton have

been [ __ ] and he's like great

[ __ ]

awesome

i hate it here so then he just refuses

to speak to keaton he's like i'm not i

can't do this with you like

i'm a terrible person

i come from terrible people

and anything that we have or have had is

gonna be tainted because i am trash

and then luke's bomb shows up at the

frat house and starts screaming for him

so he goes out and he's like what do you

want and she's like the cops just showed

up and arrested your your brother we

have to post his bail we have to help

him [ __ ] like you showed up for luke

when he was just arrested and he didn't

fail

after his brother essentially framed him

for this crime by stealing his id

and all of his money so

he's like no mom i'm not gonna be doing

that

and she was like if you don't do this

we're done you're not my son anymore and

he says okay

and she's like oh good like let's go

let's go get your brother and he's like

no no okay i'm not your son anymore

and the whole frat is witness to all of

this

like it breaks my heart but yes also

like way to

hold a very necessary and difficult

boundary

exactly he needed to be done with all of

that

so then um he and keaton aren't speaking

and a couple of weeks start to go by

and luke is like maybe i reacted a

little too strongly like most of the

brothers in the frat are chill like they

don't really care

and i was just like the shock of

yeah everything that weekend and he's

like and i miss him but also like

i still like feel the jail slime on me

like i feel like i'm gonna taint

everybody around me

um and keaton is like pining for him and

all this and then he's like you know

what

not anymore i'm not doing this anymore

i'm not gonna pretend anymore he has

lunch with his parents both of them and

comes out fully to them

um and he's like yeah no i'm i'm not

bisexual like i'm i'm just gay like

turns out i'm just super gay

um and they're like okay and then his

dad is like so you couldn't just be gay

you had to be an academic too because he

tells

like he tells his parents about the

internship

that's the line for his own line

the only i mean [ __ ] who you want son

but you also had to be an academic just

[ __ ] really

um so then keaton is like you know who

would do great at that internship though

luke bailey you should probably give him

a call actually

um he's like even if we're not together

i still want him to do well and i'm sure

he would be pissed at me for

like putting his name out there but

we're not together so what's he gonna do

like no

suck it

so then um keaton winds up getting the

internship and he is talking to annika

and he's like i don't know what to do

like i've tried to reach out to him i've

tried to talk to him he's not responding

to me i'm going to chili

for two months and he's getting he got

an internship with my dad's company and

he's gonna be in new work or some [ __ ]

for three months like

i don't know what to do and annie is

like listen if you really care for him

you'll figure it out and he's like

i have an idea

so he writes a note i love this golden

retreat for energy he's so cute he

really is just a golden doodle

yes very golden doodle he's very smart

but also kind of dumb and very sweet

very sloppy very floppy yes very floppy

so he writes a little note

that says um

i know like this hasn't been going well

i get it

um but i'm leaving please don't delete

the kink app

so

then

they start messaging each other while

they're worlds away on the kink app

um well i say that keaton messages

luke

often and luke has never responded

so messaging each other is a bit of a

strong statement yeah okay um but luke

looks forward to it every day like he's

really excited about these messages he

just knows that he was a huge [ __ ]

and he doesn't know like what to do now

he's like oh

i made a mistake i don't know what to do

i made a mistake and i don't know how to

fix it so instead of just like

responding i'm just going to look

forward to all of the messages yes

because it turns out the the ocean

waters where keaton is are like some of

the most dangerous in the world

and so luke is like oh my god like

please send me a message every day but

also i'm not gonna ask you for that but

also please do that because i'm worried

you're gonna die

so

regardless

um

luke does finally message back

um after a few weeks

and keaton's super excited so they start

this back and forth

um

luke sees keaton's dad and keaton's dad

is like oh man like

he probably would be sending me those

pictures of the sunset if i hadn't been

such a colossal douchebag

and luke's like i am not going to

comment on

my boss's relationship with his son who

i am [ __ ] mine

i'm just going to leave that alone in

the elevator at the office

um

but uh eventually keaton is like

where are we going like what's going on

and um luke's like uh i don't know stop

asking me questions i don't want to

answer and keem's like okay well here's

the deal my family has a huge summer

party on this date i will be back then

if you want to be with me i will see you

there and if not i am done

and that's it

so day the party comes

and he is playing badminton with

annie

um having a great time but not really

he's just staring waiting to see if luke

shows up and of course he does it's all

very exciting

and um

so it's all very it's all very exciting

everything is exciting to a golden

doodle

yes

they have a a sweet little hug moment

um

keaton takes him on a tour introduces

him to his mom and luke's like oh my god

like i'm meeting his mother i [ __ ] him

like an hour ago in the neighbor's pool

oh jesus he's like oh god

i think we skipped over that we did in

my head i was like they made it to the

party sweet golden doodle introduces him

to his mother no

they go on a field trip because they're

very randy to the neighbor's pool

because the neighbor is at the party at

keaton's house so he's like

she's not gonna be home for a minute why

don't we just

so that's how that happens

and then um

they meet his mom

luke meets his mom it's all very sweet

luke finally dances for keaton he has

never done that but he does a little

dance for him

and then it's all basically happily ever

after all the charges against luke were

officially dropped his brother was

arrested and convicted

and he's still got a tpo out on him

anyway just in case

um luke's gonna be the fraternity

president keaton's very happy with him

annika's very happy in her new

relationship and it's all very sweet and

wonderful and that's that's it that's

top secret

there's

it's not top secret

i was literally just thinking like

so what's

what's top secret about it nothing

not a lot like at one point

one of the lines that stands out to me

the most is that um when keaton first

starts messaging luke on the app and

like experimenting he's like i guess i'm

just vacationing in my own mental syria

because this is an area i don't

go to

and it's like what

what does that have to do with this

what does top secret have to do with

this it's very loosely we're making

loose associations like when i think top

secret i think like

espionage

um

is there any espionage i missed no

it's just them not telling people that

they're

banging

that's what's secret but

so what's our rating system for this one

i was just thinking that maybe lobster

emojis

for the lobster shorts

that's fair we've already done lobster

rolls oh i forgot about the lobster

rolls

maybe we should do something different

then um well the a lobster emoji is

different than a lobster roll it is

different you're correct um we could do

chubby shorts

[Laughter]

we could do

the length of shorts

because

so from speedo

to like jenko is that what we're doing

yeah i wait no i i'm here for this

because i mean so here's

my husband

the

shorter the better well

but here's the thing it's not

necessarily the shorter the better my

husband is a very thick side man okay um

the first time i saw him in shorts i was

like i think each of my husband's legs

are individually the size of my head

like

he has some tree trunks on him um our

future children will be some thick

thighed fellows like it

it is what it is

my husband like we like we did crossfit

for a while

um like i've seen my husband do like 400

pound squats like these are not small

thighs um and because of that

shorts are difficult

like so

we like the chubby shorts actually work

really well but they have them in

several lengths

and

it's not necessarily the shorter the

better it's that they're like have like

more leg room and like width to them if

you're right right um

but i do think that it's like the five

inch inseam

is the one that my husband

wears although when you look at my

husband you're not like sky's that does

out am i right you're just like oh those

shorts look normal and appropriate on

you

longer shorts tend to look a little

weirder this is a very long tangent

about my husband's size

so sorry

why how did why because we're talking

about short lengths like the length of

shorts

so yeah from speedo to jenko

to jayco but again like which is better

that's what i'm saying like shorter the

better or longer the better

well i think the shorter better and

keaton

would say the shorter the better i would

agree yeah

so

so where are we talking on

on the lobster short length

i have a lot of hand motions going on

that y'all are missing

um

you know what

i'm going to say well at least above the

knee oh for sure above the knee um

i would give it

i would give it a five inch inseam

that's what i was gonna say yeah i mean

i love this book it's very comforting

it's fun

there's there's enough plot to like keep

you in it

it's like it's very endearing it is very

endearing it's very sweet between the

two of them

like i just i really love

the golden doodle energy

there's a lot of gold on doodles how

many golden doodles wearing shorts

would you rank it

definitely at least eight and a half

yeah i don't know how many it's out of

but at least eight and a half i don't

know how many it's out of either but at

least eight and a half

and dogs wearing clothes is the best

oh my god

so yes

we love top secret serena bowen and l

kennedy excellent work ladies thank you

so much we appreciate you

yes we rate it a five inch inseam we

rate it at least eight and a half dogs

wearing clothes

um

what do y'all think what do y'all rate

it read it let us know absolutely we

hope you have a wonderful rest of your

day and thanks for joining us thanks

y'all bye

next week on smart club

it goes from six to midnight

real fast with the level of like

physical flirty intimacy chemistry

between them um he puts the next song on

the jukebox and it's phil collins i can

feel it in the air tonight

and he is like apparently it turns into

like a weird sexual thing he does double

check her age she's 23 so she is legal

um

i made note of that um but yeah he

starts dancing with her

to phil collins and kissing her and

feeling her up very intimately and then

at some point he's like i want to hear

you scream and she goes i want you to

make me scream

like i'm like what

well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ]

we hope it was good for you because it

sure was great for us

if you're digging what we're doing it

would mean a lot if you take a minute to

rate and review the show wherever you're

listening right now

maybe tell that sexy someone to let us

in here

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we appreciate you

and we'll see you next week

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[Music]

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