Smut Club

well

hello all you beautiful people

you know what time it is

[Music]

ladies and gents

guys and dolls and everyone in between

gather round

get you something real nice to sip on

and comfy to slip on

because it's time

for smut club

here's your hosts chelsea and hannah

hey everybody and welcome to smut club

hi friends we're glad you're here hi

smut pups [ __ ] pups smut [ __ ]

whatever title you want

that you want to give yourself however

you choose to identify however you

choose to identify your welcome here

we're glad you're here let's hang

i'm hannah i'm chelsea let's talk about

some smut that we've read lately let's

do it so today chelsea is doing a

standalone i am um well so

right now it's a standalone because the

second book hasn't dropped yet so it's

not actually a standalone it's a duet

it might be more than that i'm curious

to see the scenes the author's journey

well so all right it's where today we're

reviewing pretty secrets by ian moore um

the only books that i've seen that

iamore has dropped on goodreads thus far

are

this book pretty secrets and the prequel

hush hush

um i've read both enjoyed them both

definitely want to know where this

series is gonna take us

so

this book

we're doing some reverse harem today

into that felt like we hadn't had a good

reverse harem in a smidge so

i wanted to make sure we kept our

options relevant and open you know

this book follows eden astor she goes by

edie throughout the book okay and in the

prologue where we open up

edie's older sister like a year older

than her delilah who went by d

died

so is this a fantasy no okay

this is like

reverse harem

kind of like dark academia secret

society

like a like a mafia bent why don't i

just review it and you'll find out

there's no mafia there's just a secret

society just let me guess

that's like

when we reviewed that when i got drunk

and saved the demon and you kept like

and i kept like guessing and you're like

well get there chelsea damn

i just inquiring minds and right you're

spoiled you're excited my favorite is

that i like i'm like so where the book

opens in the prologue is the sister is

dead and you're like okay i have a lot

of questions i'm like we're still in the

prologue girl

inquiring minds and sharing minds so

prologue

we're at dee's funeral edie is vowing

that she's going to avenge her sister's

death her sister died on devil's night

and

um her sister drowned but edie's like

she wouldn't have been in the water like

my sister didn't know how to swim she

wouldn't have been in the water she

wouldn't have drowned because she never

would have been in the water in the

first place so clearly she was murdered

and i need to eventually there is foul

play afoot yes um her sister had been

pledging essentially like a secret

society

called the knights of arcadia they go by

the knights for short

um okay

what don't tell me your thoughts anna

don't hold back now for some reason all

i could think of was arcade fire

and i was like they're not nice

this entire book is about edie astor

avenging her sister's death

with an arcade fire play soundtrack

in the background yes we love a good

vengeance

story line yeah so all right edie was a

year younger than her older sister and

was kind of like i'm not [ __ ] with

all of like the family

societal expectations of being like of

an affluent family so edie had taken off

and had moved to the west coast was

living in california going to a

different school there surfing just

chilling living her life

when her sister dee dies and she wants

to avenge her death she decides she's

going to move back to the east coast and

enroll at carnegie university which is

the school that her sister had been

attending when she passed away okay

that's like affiliated with the knights

of arcadia so this is like her intention

to investigate her sister's death is the

whole motivation behind this transfer

you get it i got it yes i got it it

reminds me of um

the boys of zodiac have you read that

one i feel like that one pops up on like

a recommended list all the time but i

haven't actually read it yet well that

one's fantasy but it's the same thing

but it's a high school the girl

transfers there because her brother dies

okay and so she's like something's fishy

rivers harem in high school makes me

feel weird

like i'll literally be reading a like a

description of a book i'm like this

sounds so good i can't wait to read it

and i'm like oh wait they're in high

school

a bunch of like 17 year olds [ __ ]

just feels gross i mean like

good for you but i just don't want to

read it well and i think it's been a

while since i read that one but i think

so they're they're faye so their high

school ends at like age 20 or something

so they're actually like 18 or 19 i

think if i'm remembering or i feel like

it's frequently that like the characters

got held back so they're like 19 in high

school and i'm like this doesn't make me

feel better about it but anyway sorry so

the book starts chapter one we're ten

months in the future and this book is

going to shift

points of view

several times every chapter essentially

we're going to switch um we're going to

switch between the dudes we're going to

switch between 80. so we first chapter

we are now following point of view leo

jarvis leonardo jarvis

his grandfather very very high up in the

knights of arcadia um leo had been

there's like different levels so like

you're a pledge and then once you've

kind of like made it through like

the

pledge level

of getting into the nights you become a

fledgling and then after a fledgling you

become like a full-blown knight so all

we know is that like leo had been in

this process and got kicked out at some

point

and how many dudes do we have in this

harem there's gonna be three okay at

least in this one we'll see in the

future if anything shifts okay so yes

this book is ten months in the future

from the funeral where edie decides

she's going to avenge her sister's death

um yeah leo's like super brash his

entire like demeanor is like i don't

give a [ __ ] and like um edie's moving

into jarvis hall and his name is leo

jarvis and so he's like i'll kick out of

like i'll kick everyone out of the

residence hall if they don't [ __ ] me

like i have that clout he's just

gross yeah he's like the black sheep of

his family

um

his grandfather has given him the job of

spying on edie

um to make sure

she's not doing [ __ ] she shouldn't but

he doesn't really know what that means

he's just like my grandpa told me to

like watch her

i guess that's what i'm gonna do and so

he's watching her as she gets to

carnegie

so she gets to school and when she gets

there like

she had been on the west coast and was

kind of outside of the society so she's

like way more like i'm wearing like jean

cutoffs and no makeup and not like super

like

business casual attire as her resting

state i guess

and so like she gets there and she's

already like she's like all right i'm

moving in she's moving into

dee's old dorm room oh yeah so she's

moving into her sister's dorm she's

already like plotting her like [ __ ]

nancy drew skills on how she's gonna

solve this mystery

and then suddenly she runs into her best

friend

prince oliver

um and hold up yes timeout yep no go for

it i was about to explain but i can't

wait for the questions

so is his name prince or is he a prince

he is a prince um

he

has royal

lineage

over in england and she always calls him

number five and like later in the book

someone's like why do you call him

number five and she's like because he

would be fifth in line for the throne

had there not been this scandal where

like he's not

eligible yes okay so he's an actual

prince so his name is oliver his name is

oliver and they're besties they're

besties they've grown up together so how

did she not know that he was there and

she was gonna see him because he's been

in love with her since childhood so how

does that preclude her from knowing he's

gonna be there because he's like oh i'm

also going to show up at the school and

then attend and then protect her and

keep her safe while she is hell-bent on

solving this mystery so this isn't like

a wink-wink star stalker situation

honestly i low-key felt that way a

little bit um like he

she like doesn't know that he was

planning all of us we'll also we're

gonna switch to oliver's point of view

in a second okay okay um so she runs

into oliver all of her is also like oh

yeah i'm i'm also living in this dorm

room and she's like jarvis hall is a

girl's dorm and he's essentially like

i'm royalty [ __ ] i can do whatever the

[ __ ] i want and you're in this building

so i'm in this building there's two of

them yes great

so yes we then switched to oliver's

point of view in perspective oh also

worth noting um we

get d not we d we get edie

into d's dorm and the roommates were all

thinking they were being sweet and they

cleaned up and boxed up all of these

stuff

right exactly so then like

edie's pissed because the room is clean

and she's like now like i'm it's going

to be harder to find clues and

everything from like where it kind of

had been so like she's pissed because

she gets there

and the dorm doormates had like cleaned

the room and thought they were being

helpful but we're not

so yeah we switched to oliver um

before oh yeah prince oliver

he's been in love with her since

childhood they met i think when they

were like nine or some [ __ ] like that

they lost their virginity to each other

in high school

and then once her sister passed away he

like became very nervous and was just

kind of keeping closer tabs on her which

yes to your point even when i was

reading i was like so he stalked her it

doesn't really sound like she knew any

of this was happening and so like were

they together when they slept together

or was it like uh you're a dude i'm a

chick we're friends like let's see it

was more of that like they've never

been in a full relationship together i

think it was more like we grew up

together you're safe you're hot let's

i'd i'd rather lose my originator to

someone safe i don't know i'm creating a

narrative here that i'm the book may

have told me but i forgot so i don't

think it did so i'm just creating this

one noted yeah so like they move in and

then they're like all right let's like

let's take a nap so that they lay down

in her bed and edie falls asleep and

then

oliver's just sitting there kind of

processing and thinking about all of

this and she's hot in there and he's

been in love with her forever so he gets

super worked up and he starts

masturbating in bed next to her while

she's sleeping if i worked up do you

mean just wicked hard like what does

worked up mean i i do hannah i do mean

wicked hard

he got

worked up

he got a log in the river

there she is

and

so like this is all while she's sleeping

and he just like comes on her sheets

which also i gotta say

i would be

i'd be so pissed

like i'm like what the [ __ ]

so just as an aside which is not

relevant right now but i did just think

of it so i've been watching trailer park

boys like re-watching it recently go on

love it

and at one point bubbles i don't

remember the context but bubbles is like

oh yeah he was feeding the geese as a

way to say that somebody was

masturbating

and i literally like looked at my

husband and i was like that shit's going

in the podcast and he was like baby you

need the hand motion for that to make

sense because it's like he has his hand

down low and it's like he's spreading

bird feed but from his dick and so

that's like feeding the geese so all i

can think about right now is this

[ __ ] is feeding the geese in her

bed

okay well go it's about to get in my

opinion a little worse before it gets

better i don't know if it gets better um

but it does get worse

so he comes all over her sheets and then

wakes her up by fingering her jesus

christ

and then is like super aroused but he's

like oh like if she moved her hand an

inch lower it would be in my jizz that's

on her sheets so then he's like oh i'm

gonna eat her out

so he takes his semen from the sheets

and starts like smearing it all over her

cuckoo as like a claiming motion before

he eats her out and i hated everything

about you do me a favor real quick and

stop

just stop

okay i'm done like and that's the

episode y'all because

i don't

i have feelings and i need to call nancy

my therapist because i have feelings hey

nancy

thanks for all you do i'm so sorry that

this is awesome [ __ ]

and so then he's eating her out and then

he's like and now we're playing london

bridge which is our game which is where

i spell out the words london bridge with

my tongue

on her nether region that is not what a

london bridge is but anyway carry on

you're right that is not what a london

bridge is it's his own

game

version of a london bridge

so they play london bridge

his version of it

she comes and then she offers to blow

him but then he's like oh i don't want

to take advantage of my depressed best

friend so then he just goes into her

bathroom and masturbates again

so i distinctly remember about 30

seconds ago asking you to stop

what the [ __ ]

remember before we started this book and

i looked at you and said

at some point you're gonna be like what

the [ __ ] and you're like that's gonna be

a big thing to get me to say what the

[ __ ] about a sex scene and i'm like

also this is like chapter two or three

of the book

so yes he goes he masturbates

um

and then they're like hey

like they decide together they're they

need to go shopping to get her an

updated wardrobe so she can fit in as a

pretentious school because she wants to

pledge to become a knight so she's like

the only way i'm going to figure out

happening to my sister is if i join this

[ __ ] secret society

so

does

ali ollie oxenfree is he a member of

this [ __ ]

society or is he just like he also wants

to pledge it which and because he's a

prince and it's like all like powerful

affluent men

gross yes um

so they're essentially like you need to

fit in and like lose the black sheep

vibe so they go shopping for clothes

and then while they're out shopping the

cashier at the clothing store her name

is holly

and dee and edie

look pretty similar

and like honestly i thought they were

twit the entire time i read this book i

was like yeah they're twins they're

twins they're twins and then when i read

the prequel afterwards i was like no

delilah was like a year older but they

looked very very similar and so

everyone knows that dee has passed away

tragically

um and holly the cashier like mentions

like she knew dee

um and was one of the last people to see

her alive

why would you mention that in casual

conversation

and then she agrees to meet them for

coffee so she can answer their questions

because they're trying to get to the

bottom of it okay

you seem just so over this one already

and i think we're still in chapter three

so i'm nervous about

no i i am i love it because there's so

much

here

but also

buckle in

but i also hate it

yes so

what we find out is that holly was hired

by dee to be part of the entertainment

for devil's night

and edie's like what the [ __ ] like what

do you mean my sister was like

scheduling the entertainment of like

scantily clad women and like she that

doesn't sound like my sister what the

hell

and then holly had signed an nda saying

she wouldn't talk to anyone about

anything

and she was never even questioned by the

police about what she saw

so she was at the mansion that the

knights of arcadia had the devil's night

party at was one of the last people to

see dee and was never questioned by

police she does say that she saw dee

arguing with someone on the dock okay we

don't know who um

and then she was like yeah it's so sad

that she passed away like i i like they

said she couldn't swim

and then edie gets all pissed and she's

like

yeah

she couldn't swim but she wouldn't have

been in the water because she couldn't

swim so like she didn't drown

like something happened to her she would

not have been in the water

um

and

then

ollie like after this whole conversation

ollie asks edie if she's spoken to

keegan

keegan is

dee's fiancee

who's a senior at carnegie university

okay where they all attend

um but keegan's been like m.i.a since

dee passed away like wasn't even at her

funeral

um

so it's kind of like

they're like no we haven't but like

things are weird and so

i don't really know

um

and then edie is like i think it was

when holly was sitting there i don't

know there's so much that happens in

this book but like she looks at ollie

and she's like

oh like

i'll be like i'm a great wing woman i'm

happy to be your wing woman this year

and ollie

oliver is like i'm only here for one

reason

edie in case that wasn't obvious

[Laughter]

i'm only here for one reason and that is

the dubious consent of fingering you and

eating you out while you are asleep

yeah like he woke her up while fingering

her but i do think there's another level

of consent that's needed if you're

rubbing your semen on someone i would

agree

that's good

that's a really good thing hannah

i'm glad

um all right so

back to leo now see how that seems to

so

leo is just like i've been following

edie and she's not she's not a threat

she's not doing anything and then he

like sees her like out and about and her

new clothing he's like yeah she's just

as pretentious as the rest of them i

guess what i saw when she showed up a

little more casual wasn't really who she

was

so

his grandpa calls to check in while

leo's like just straight plowing into

this redhead

just like good for leo right mid [ __ ]

grandpa calls well hold up he answers

yeah because

that's the sort of person leo is

okay well so it's about to get worse

again before it gets better

but it didn't get better the first time

so

while they're on the phone grandpa

tells

leo that he's gonna let edie pledge for

the knights that her dad is a knight and

was like i want edie to have the chance

so she's gonna get to

pledge also

where were they in person i don't know

at some point like leo's grandpa calls

him to him he's like yeah sure so i

think this part the actual conversation

is in person after he was plowing into

the redhead so grandpa's like yeah

edie's gonna get to pledge to be a

knight um

and part of the reason we're letting her

pledge is because there's like rumors

circulating that like dee was killed

because she was a female who was

pledging and so they're like trying to

like suddenly

pretend like they give a [ __ ] about

gender equality even though it's this

like sexist old man society um and then

grandpa is like yeah and another part of

this leo we're reinstating your

fledgling status as

a knight

so you're now back in the fold of it

um and then his grandpa like grandpa's

telling leo like do whatever you need to

do to like

get to the bottom what's going on with

edie like [ __ ] her own her do whatever

you need

and then

the redhead that leo had been boning

suddenly walks into the room and starts

giving his grandpa a [ __ ]

back to edie

okay the look on hannah's face is like

what the [ __ ] is happening here i mean

i just

okay

[Laughter]

oh no

that's your only oh no

okay so back to edie well wait wait wait

wait wait did the redhead know grandpa

or when did she just walk in and was

like i'm into that wrinkly sack or like

what we don't really know the redheads

motivations

but

grandpa's kind of one of those old

creepy powerful men who thinks women are

objects gross so i think it was more of

like a power play for like oh you

thought this like hot little redhead was

yours she's not she's mine and like it

was more to like [ __ ] with leo than

anything else

okay so i hate grandpa carry on

that's the right feeling to have yes

hold on to that anger so back to edie um

edie and oliver both get their invites

to pledge for the knights

we also learned oliver made himself an

identical class schedule to edie so that

she he could keep her safe and keep an

eye on her

um

so

he needs therapy

and i think they all do

but especially him

not the dude whose grandpa just got a

balloon from the girl he was [ __ ] i

need him too

not that not the girl whose sister was

murdered these are the three we know so

far i feel like if there is anyone who's

potentially dangerous it's the one who

is not so mildly stalking his childhood

love

valid

i'm just saying like that's not even my

professional opinion just as a woman

you know that is fair so they're like

walking across campus to class and they

see keegan on campus and like so wait

they being edie and beauty and oliver

yeah edie and ollie are walking to class

because they have identical class

schedules and they see keegan walking

across campus and like edie's like i

want to go confront that [ __ ]

and then when she looks at him she's

like he's looking rough like he is

looking hungry like he can just not look

like he's doing okay maybe there's a

piece of this puzzle that like is still

missing for me so then

um when edie kind of goes up and like

wants to confront keegan suddenly mr

barclay is there um mr barclay is the

hot econ professor his first name is

ulrich or al rick i don't know ulrich

a-l-a-r-i-c

not all right alaric or ulrich oh ulrich

honestly his entire [ __ ] name ulrich

barclay i'm like what who hurt you yeah

more why is this the name we chose you

know

remember in our very first episode when

we talked about the name writer and rich

bold or rich ripe and smooth or whatever

the [ __ ] it was like

if there's a name that is not rich ripe

and smooth it would be alaric barclay

it does not roll off the tongue with

ease that is a fair statement

so

mr barclay

prof barclay i guess is suddenly there

the hot econ professor like intercedes

and then it's like hey edie can i speak

with you

um and then he like mentions the knights

invite and like the activity at eight

o'clock that night and then edie's like

what there's an invite or like there's

an activity h night like i got the

invite but i didn't see anything about

like an activity um and then edie like

mentions that to oliver and he's like

yeah he mentioned this activity like

what

um and ollie's like so weird and just

kind of evaded and then

edie was like are you not is he like

trying to sabotage my chances like is

oliver trying to sabotage my chances of

becoming a knight

he is

so

spoiler switch switch back to ollie

ollie did hide the night's note about

the event at 8 pm that night but why

because he wants to keep edie safe and

doesn't think going down this like very

dark pathway

of trying to avenge her sister's death

is the way to do that but yeah so then

like oliver like goes like confronts

barclay and barclay's like listen

[ __ ] i hand-delivered the invite so i

know she was supposed to know it was at

8 pm so

what what happened do i need to tell her

that you're like you're [ __ ] with her

so then like

we're getting into those aspects so we

have like a a dick measuring situation a

little bit and so now we have met the

three dudes okay so barkley's the third

yes you have leo

ollie

barclay but i want to call him barkley

i'm just gonna say the professor

that's fine that's that's at least that

nickname makes sense some of the

nicknames you go with for books i'm like

we don't know who that's about

the professor does make sense in my

brain it tracks and i could explain it

sometimes but i just choose not to and

sometimes i guess i do

explain it but regardless the professor

is correct makes sense yes so there's

kind of this like power dynamic there so

then edie and oliver end up having this

conversation and she's like don't use

kid gloves with me and like don't get in

the way of my plan like i like uprooted

my life and came here to figure this out

so like don't [ __ ] with that he's like

yeah yeah totally totally totally then

he's like do you want a sip of water

before we like go to this thing is he

drugging her he was totally gonna try

and drug her and so he was gonna try and

do it anyway but leo happened to walk

past and just like

like accidentally hits the water bottle

out of his hands and was like sorry and

just keeps walking

so did leo know

not that it was drugged leo's also just

kind of an [ __ ] so it could have

honestly just been by chance uh just

general douchery

yes

so at the meeting with all of the

knights they announced that they're like

oh for female pledges safety they'll now

be assigned a night of fledgling and a

pledge as they go through the trials to

keep them safe

i wonder who her knight and fledgling

and pledge will be

who could it be hannah it's a mystery

that you're gonna solve right now

probably yeah so edie's assigned barclay

leo and oliver

i know none of us saw that coming

oh wow

um so

the meeting's done there they all go and

then leo's like hey let's all go to

drivers hall we need to have a meeting

let's all get on the same page

so they all go into

um edie's dorm and she has like three

dorm mates

and leo calls a dorm meeting

and for like the building for the girls

living in their like dorm suite okay and

it takes his dick out

and it's like if one of y'all can make

me nut you can stay but if you can't all

of you are out and we're taking this

space over

so

um

hold on

um

why

i'm struggling so hard because like

there's so many why didn't he just tell

them all to get the [ __ ] out why did he

need to take his dick out about it

because you don't get your dick sucked

that way hannah if you just tell them to

leave

but he wanted them to leave

did he or did he want his dick suction

to make a power move did he get his dick

sucked

so god damn it an

a redhead roommate yes yet another

redhead

i'm sensing that leo has a type right um

starts blowing leo just like drops your

knees and it's like all right if that's

what i got to do that's what i got to do

so she drops on her knees starts blowing

leo barclay looks around and he's like

well if it's necessary gina you've got

me and gina's like the class president

she's like okay so she just gets on her

knees

and starts blowing barclay the professor

as well

um and then another girl steps forward

to oliver and it's like i guess like

you're mine but oliver like turns to

eating he's like they're in there isn't

a reason why she shouldn't blow me is

there

like totally trying to play edie's hand

and he's like

nope live your life

so leo decides he's like all right the

girls get five more minutes if they

can't make any of us orgasm in five

minutes

they're all out but then edie's like i

don't want these dudes as [ __ ]

roommates so she decides she's gonna

help the girls out so good for her so

she goes over to oliver and starts

jacking all of her off

while his

while the other girl is still blowing

him

um and he got like real real close and

then right as like leo calls time

oliver comes like right afterwards so

then they're like okay

[ __ ] so then the guys decide to lock

edie up stairs in her room while like

they deliberate and come up with a game

plan and they kick the other girls out

and then all of the dudes are like

trying to come up with a game plan and

then they overhear edie masturbating

upstairs in her room because she's doing

it loudly

okay

um in the morning they unlock edie's

room

and then she picks the lock on leo's

door i don't know

i don't doesn't matter all i have

written is in the morning they unlock

edie's room she picks lock on leo's door

sexual tension moment

[Laughter]

like nothing happens between leo and

edie but there's just this like budding

chemistry between them right because

she watched him get blown and then he

heard her masturbate

you get it

you you get all of this book i almost

don't even need to review it

um so then the whole gang is like we're

gonna meet at a coffee shop to like game

plan

and then

the barista at the coffee shop like

looks at edie and is like

oh are you dee's twin like

like was like i knew your sister

um like another one yeah it's like very

clearly like

knows

who edie is and then as they're leaving

the barista like tries to grab edie to

talk to her

pisses leo right the [ __ ] off

so leo knocks them down to the ground

and it's a boy barista yes a boy barista

recognizes a barista

i'm sorry

if it's a girl a phoebe if it's a boy

fibo

yes that's you get it so the male

barista sees edie and then like is like

oh like i knew your sister

and then tries to grab her as she's

leaving because he wants to talk to her

and it pisses leo off so leo knocks the

barista on the ground and then takes his

dick out planning on peeing on the dude

to make an example out of him so

i am sensing

that leo has some anger issues

yes and

that

you know how

toddlers tend to have a fascination

with

their penises leo never moved past that

why is it why is his first move to just

whip his dick out that's the first move

every time

i think a lot of dudes would want to

have that as their first move if it were

more don't they have impulse control

okay so the problem is really leo's lack

of impulse control

i don't know what the problem is but

there is there's definitely problems and

we will learn a little bit more about

why leo is the way leo is i don't think

i want to that's fair um so then like

edie intervenes and it's like you aren't

gonna piss on this dude so

um she tries to intervene leo throws her

over his shoulder

she bites him then an admin comes and

breaks it up and is like drags edie and

is like you need to come with me to the

admin office we need to figure this out

and so they're at the admin office and

then suddenly there's a bag over her

head and she's grabbed and thrown in a

car

welcome to the trials it's the first

trial as a pledge to make it into the

knights of arcadia

okay

what none of us saw that coming i'm

floored right

hey there smud puppies

we'll get you right back to the show in

just a moment but first

do you like us

maybe even

love us

cause we sure love you

and if you do love us

don't tease us

tell us in those ratings and reviews

wherever you're listening right now

maybe even send us over to a special

sexy someone that would enjoy getting

smutty with us

because you know the first rule of smug

club

is to talk about smut club

all right i won't keep you any longer

let's get back to the show

[Music]

switch to oliver oliver's the first one

to realize that edie's gone so we do

have to thank his stalkerish ways for

something at some level but has he not

already planted a tracker on her person

because if he was a good stalker he

would have had a tracker on her person

no but leo does in the future noted yeah

so he realizes edie's gone all of the

guys meet back at jarvis hall and

they're like [ __ ] what do we do

this is part of the trials like we

clearly need to go get her back

um

leo hadn't realized that like the admin

who came and grabbed her

was

sorry hannah that was my foot um i just

reached out i just moved my foot and i

got this look on her face i did not

realize my foot was then touching her

barefoot we had an awkward moment of eye

contact i straight-up thought that was

brandon i could tell also brandon's my

dog not my husband i know this book

seems to have some like fetishy things

and i just want to be very clear that

like my husband was not under the table

nor was my dog

trying to get to hannah's feet

so there's that um

yes leo did not realize that the admin

was a knight who was like i need to talk

to edie got it so

while they're all at the dorm kind of

like plotting and brainstorming a

bouquet of black roses get delivered and

i have nothing that says like to the

death of your partnership unless you can

find her

um so leo calls his grandfather to ask

where she is

um and grandpa's like yeah all of the

female pled things were taken it's a

fight to get them back first like all of

the teams were careless y'all are not

doing a great job at this

leo kind of from some context clues

guesses where she's at and he's right so

like they

all get in a car and drive to this house

in a fluent neighborhood and like leo

just happens to have a key but we don't

fully know why and edie is tied up there

and there's a camera on her

so they find her they're like we got her

back [ __ ] you

switch to edie

[Laughter]

okay there's really no other way to like

it feels

the chapter shifts feel as dramatic

reading them as describing have you ever

watched bob's burgers it's one of my

favorites bob's burgers i

have definitely seen episodes but i

wouldn't say i watch it consistently so

there are a set of twins in

bob's burgers

named andy and ollie and they do this

thing every now and then where they go

back to you andy back to you ollie back

to you andy back to you ollie and that's

all i can think about right now that's a

pretty app description because i feel

that exact way

back to edie um

so back to edie they're now at the dorm

edie rightly so she has a panic attack

and is like freaked the [ __ ] out i

understand and she locks herself in her

room

and ollie like comes to her door and

he's trying to help and she's like no i

don't want to be near anyone so then

barclay like pixel luck lets himself

into her room and they end up cuddling

and like he's like helping her calm down

and then he tells her that the house

that she was at was the house that leo

grew up in where leo's like

parents died

so like there's like a mind [ __ ] on

several levels yeah okay

okay so so we learned leo's parents are

dead

yes in this and so like and that he's

always kind of been reliant on his

grandpa because his parents were dead

right he could manipulate him and the

professor's creepier than we thought

just cuddling with a woman who's having

a panic attack

i mean i think it was post-panic attack

like it didn't seem as like it seemed

more helpful in the book than creepy

okay i'll take your word for it post

panic attack if you were like coming

down from it so i just want to say like

in the context of

the the sheet jizz and the

the sleep fingering and the

whip and the dick out like

the cuddling is creepy that's

like that's the part that you're like

that's the part where you go what the

[ __ ] is the cuddling

leo just planned on whipping his dick

out to piss on a man and cuddling is

freaking you out

nancy

we i think we may have found something

for you and hannah to talk about next

session

i have some questions

the best part of this is nancy is like a

i don't know 70 year old lady who's just

lovely and so sweet and i would never

discuss

dick whipping with her

maybe i would i shouldn't say that that

was therapeutically appropriate and

necessary it's not just something i

would bring up

randomly

anyway sorry nancy um so

leo decides he's gonna go confront his

grandfather because he's pissed

and his grand grandpa's like just like

you know he's like this isn't for show

like you actually are back as a

fledgling status with the knights like

don't [ __ ] it up like you can actually

get back in

um leo kind of starts to like

get triggered and have some flashbacks

from his parents house and so he's like

[ __ ] all this i'm just gonna go

get drunk i'm gonna go to the bar

i'm not dealing with any of this i'm

gonna find a redhead

essential like i guess that's his thing

so i don't know if she's a redhead he

does take home the bartender to the dorm

room

that he's sharing

with the two other dudes and edie

um so he takes her home

and then as they're coming in like

making like leo and the bartender are

making noise in the foyer

edie's in the kitchen and like hears

them so she interrupts and like tells

the bartender that leo has an std

i like that yeah and so the bartender is

like all right well i'm out of here good

talk everybody so then leo was like

i like i'm gonna make like looks at edie

and he's like you have to check my dick

for stds get on your knees

so she does

um

yes

she

edie is inspecting leo's dick for stds

he has his dick pierced

so

this doesn't sound like a medical

evaluation

mean the college student

who just [ __ ] blocked him

it doesn't seem like a medical

evaluation when she's on her knees

just staring at his dick piercing no it

does not

well and then he's like have you ever

seen a guy with a or have you ever been

with a guy with a pierced dick before

and she's like no and he's like you

probably never will because i doubt you

could satisfy my appetite then he just

puts his dick away and leaves the room

okay so he does have some impulse

control

i also want you guys to know since you

aren't here and can't see this happening

um my husband as we've mentioned

previously produces the podcast and he's

currently sitting at the end of the

table just looking at me like

chelsea

what the [ __ ]

is this

like any reaction hannah's having my

husband is having the same one silently

five feet away from her

like we are both just continuously

covering our faces and silently

like laughing but it's not a laugh it's

like a

it's a cry for help

[Laughter]

back to edie

okay back to 80 it's the next morning

the whole crew is having a little pow

wow in the kitchen i'm just powering

through this i

don't know what else to do

like both hannah and my husband are in

tears right now

so we're having a kitchen powwow we're

having a kitchen powwow i'm tracking i'm

with you

and they're discussing security for the

dorm and barclay's like oh yeah i hired

a security team to come in make sure

like nothing can happen to edie again

and then leo's like you think i leave my

dorm unprotected there's cameras

everywhere and he's like check out what

my cameras picked up in our foyer last

night

um so then edie's like oh [ __ ] no i

can't let them see so when leo grabs his

phone to show the video of edie doing

her um

layman's std

check

edie just takes his phone and like

throws it into another version

i don't know what you're talking about

um and then like leah's like

if my phone is broken i'm going to be

super pissed at you so

as they are

then walking to class ali and edie are

walking together the dudes have all

decided like at no point will edie be

left alone oh my god is it a buddy

system buddy system we love a good buddy

system

so we love a good buddy system as they

are walking the class they pass anne

marie she's another pledge um

and she's just a

[ __ ]

um always has been a [ __ ] and she's

like oh look i heard my guys found me

faster than yours i guess they're so

much better at taking care of me than

yours are and it's just like

kind of basking in the attention of the

dudes that are around here

and they're like all right [ __ ] we

don't care

but eating notices like ollie is being

weird so then ollie like pulls her into

the stairwell and is like pushes her

against the wall and is like grinding up

on her and he's like you like bad boys

don't you

and then edie's like oh [ __ ] he saw more

of the footage than i realized and then

i can't even do it

i'm afraid no say it honestly it's not

even bad it's just all

as everything is

um i believe our air just kicked on and

now my dog brandon is pissed about

whatever is about to happen

that is what's happening

and or he's really excited brandon is

really

he just wants to be invited to the party

man he just wants to be near you

he's invited to every party he's

precious right

um

but i wouldn't say either of my pets are

known for their great boundaries

yeah and

i will also say that's not on them at

all i have not made them have great

boundaries so i can't be upset with the

lack of them well no and earlier today

craig tried to get up on my shoulder and

was all up on me craig is a cat

i just figured important clarification

if y'all haven't listened that is also

not my husband

my husband's name is vance my dog is

brandon and my cat is craig

craig was all up on me trying to get on

my shoulder and it was one of the best

moments that i've had in a long time and

so the lack of boundaries sometimes is

not bad yeah craig fancies himself

a pirate's life he wants to be the

little parrot just perching on your

shoulder and he can be [ __ ] best he

can be um yes so

he's not in this scene though in this

scene

oliver has like pushed e against the

wall he's like you like bad boys don't

you and she realized like she's like oh

he saw the footage he's trying to like

assert his dominance and like and

oliver's kind of like he's a taker but

i'm a giver um i know how much you like

[ __ ] play

which i'm also like i don't think i've

ever heard the term clip play before

because i just thought

that's just what normal

yeah you know like i was like yeah like

to me i'm like that's not being like oh

i know how much you like blood play or

breath play right or anything like that

i'm like clip play just

for anyone who has a [ __ ] i feel like

they're into clip play

i haven't met anyone with the [ __ ] who's

not into clip play

i just think

yeah i'm like cool

you like having someone's hand down your

pants but i i don't think i've ever been

like

hey honey

i really need more clip play because

that's just not things people say unless

you are disgraced british royalty in

this book or really bad at it

i was giving people more credit oh

that makes me sad um yeah so he like i

know how much you love clip play and

then like ollie like brings edie to

orgasm in the stairwell well good for

him

i guess right and then he's like the

next time you want to feel good like

come to me instead and then he's kind of

like are you mad about the video

and he's like i'm not mad i just want

you to see what's right in front of you

like it's always been you so like he's

getting more assertive and like actually

telling her how he feels

[Music]

honestly probably just because there's

other people that he now views as a

threat that he didn't before right so

there's a sense of urgency around yes

right

um so now it's time for the next trial

oh no we are still in ed's perspective

still in edi's point of view when they

get to the knights building keegan is

standing out from

and keegan sees who edi's partnered with

and he's like what the [ __ ] get as far

away as you can from leo you can't trust

him like if they partnered you with him

they want you to fail

um like you need to protect yourself

don't trust anyone

so keegan is like saying all this to

edie and then leo's like shut the [ __ ]

up and just like

beats keegan up which seems to be you

know essentially his mo um they then

blindfold edie to lead like edie and

oliver like take them to the next trial

and they all get on a bus

okay to be driven to where this trial is

happening so like all of the the people

who are in the trials are on the bus and

they're teammates okay yes so like well

like barclay's a full-fledged knight

he's because he's on edie's team

he's on the bus as well gotcha and so

she's being led onto the bus and things

like oh it's barclay because he's like

nicer and quieter and like i can't

really hear anything and then realize

it's like it's actually leo who is

leading her onto the bus

um but i will say like on the bus

leah's like surprisingly helpful and

like kind and they're kind of like

talking and they talk about keegan and

kind of how um

so

d and keegan had been one of those like

high society

our children will marry each other for

the advancement of our family names kind

of thing and so for the longest time

like they really hadn't been

in love with each other

but like well dee was always in love

with keegan but keegan was like i'm just

here for the family line [ __ ] i don't

really care

so kind of like talking about some of

that stuff um so is there a chance that

keegan becomes the fourth

if it does that'll be in a future book

okay so it's not in this one okay um

because that would be weird well i also

felt that more reading this book i was

like oh keegan might be a fourth in the

future but

the prequel is d's story okay so the

prequel ends which is not a plot twist

because we already know what happens the

prequel ends with how d dies

okay so we already know that full

journey in hush hush now mind you i

didn't read the prequel until after i

read this one so

for me it was kind of filling in more

context but i thought the exact same i

was like oh like is keegan gonna be the

fourth and then reading the book i was

like oh no like keegan and dee's

relationship does develop more

in the prequel

to the point where like at the beginning

kind of like enemies to lovers a little

bit of a bully romance

okay um

and then at the end he was in love with

her when she died okay which we will

also get to in the future but it's not

like a really big spoiler

um

yeah

like at one point like in this

conversation between leo and edie she's

like maybe you and keegan are a lot

alike and he's like because i think

everyone should get on their knees for

me like some like just this like

brash unnecessary um

he leo then drops his sweatshirt in

edie's lap now mind you once again they

are on a bus

she has a blindfold on so this entire

conversation they've been having she has

not been able to see him

and leo drops his sweatshirt in her lap

and then he's like this way people can't

see you when i check how wet you

are

so he starts fingering her she starts

getting super into it so to be clear

people still know

like

i feel like

i feel like it's not that secretive at

some point every high schooler or

college student has tried this with a

blanket or potentially a sweatshirt the

number of times when i used to work in

youth ministry that i'd be on a bus at 2

a.m and i'd have to shout hand check

exactly it's a thing it's not subtle

it's not we know what you're doing but i

also think like

so

any girl because there are no female

knights d had been the first female

pledge ever for the knights okay so all

of the females are

blindfolded all of the dudes

like

seem to have loose moral concern like

right i don't think any dude would bat

an eye at them fingering her on this bus

well still i mean everybody knows what

you're doing like he says nobody's gonna

see everybody's gonna know

well to be fair he said so people can't

see while i check how wet you are not

that they don't know that i'm checking

how wet you are so we might be arguing

semantics i was gonna say that really

does feel like semantics but okay carry

on anyway yeah so this is gonna continue

so i don't think we should get caught up

at this at this juncture into it

regardless yeah so like she starts to

get aroused and then like starts

pinching her own nipple like tries to

like cover like spread the sweatshirt to

cover her own nipples as well while she

pinches them and then as she's like

pinching her nipples and like getting

super close the bus stops

and so then leo's like everyone get the

[ __ ] off the bus and so it's just their

team on the bus

and barclay's like what do we have here

and leo's like a soaking wet female

and then oliver is like my girl loves

someone to go down on her when she's

this worked up

um

so then they're like okay leave the

blindfold on we won't tell you which

guy's gonna go down on you

so all three dudes are standing there

on the bus

while one of them eats her out on the

bus bench but we don't know who's eating

her out

okay

but they tell her to moan all of their

names just to cover their bases

okay

at this point i feel like you're done

with the questioning you're just like

okay what next

okay that too

okay and now i mean i just i

i

okay

[Laughter]

so do we ever find out

yeah we do find out okay yes carry on

then honestly we find out in like the

next chapter i was gonna say i feel like

it's probably pretty yeah she doesn't

find out for a chapter two it was

barclay who ate her out okay way to go

professor exactly

um while leo stood there and watched and

i guess technically oliver stood there

and watched as well but he was also

blindfolded so

he just heard it yeah oh well um back to

leo

so they

they lead

edie and oliver down to where this trial

is happening the trial is at a river

which is the river

de den

so they're kind of like is everything

that we're doing just like [ __ ] like we

like kidnapped we've like taken like the

place where like d died like

are they trying to [ __ ] with edie like

leo's actually kind of starting to like

ask questions and realize like maybe

things are a little off um so their

challenge is that all of the pledges

have to go back between treading water

in this like

ice cold river

and standing on burning hot coals

until they're told otherwise okay

yes

naked

sure they do get to take the blindfolds

off oh well okay then you know to keep

it fair hannah they did allow them the

power of sight again

when they're all naked yes and so

they're like all right like edie just

kind of was like this is what i need to

do just gets quiet like kind of like

gets her head in the game is like [ __ ]

this like i need to find out what

happened to my sister i just need to

like do this so i just want to point out

okay i feel like the women have an

advantage here with the cold water that

the men

pledges do not

i don't think any of that matters right

now um so it is about so they're all

naked

because we're about to go on a side

journey like it's about to get like real

[ __ ] up we're like they're going back

and forth they're clearly struggling

they're going from this like ice cold

river to standing on these coals and

then they hop in the water and then

suddenly like some blonde hair starts to

float closer to

edie

and she's like what the [ __ ] and she

like like it touches her and it turns

over and it was a model head doll with

blonde hair that someone had written

delilah aster

across the floor

yes so then like edie

very justifiably like starts screaming

and losing her [ __ ]

yeah and that's where that scene ends

okay and that's all from

leo's perspective yes okay yes okay um

and now we're actually switching to

barclays perspective okay yes so

they're now back on the bus

um edie and oliver sitting next together

next to each other together um barclay

and leo are sitting next to each other

on the bus and like kind of debriefing

what just happened and they're like

edie's clearly like it was like the

river d died in like the model head like

what the [ __ ] is happening this is like

not casual and this is all very

intentional

so they all go back to the dorm

and kind of start

bonding and drinking together and like

barclay like cleans and bandages like

both edie and ollie's feet for them

but

then they start talking about anne-marie

the [ __ ] from earlier

she was also part of this

and when edie started screaming when she

saw the doll head and marie started

laughing

and so then everyone was like she knew

like either she knew or but either like

no matter if she knew or not they're

like it wasn't funny this [ __ ] needs to

go we're gonna destroy her life so then

their whole team decides that they're

going to like get this revenge plot

together

to destroy anne-marie's life

which kind of brings them you know they

bond over it and then leo announces like

edie's gonna sleep in his room and she's

like because like we all agreed she like

would one of us would be with her 24 7

so she's gonna sleep in my room

and she's like okay that sounds good and

then ollie's pissed and like storms off

to his own room

so back to edie now also pause going

back because i know we were about to go

on a tangent before then i was like no

no no there's about to be a doll head

that's going to [ __ ] everything up i

don't think women having an advantage in

the cold water over men i mean i just

mean

you know what i meant what did you mean

hannah

i meant nipples and penises is what i

meant

but what's the advantage when it comes

to treading water

i mean physically there isn't one but if

we're naked looking at each other women

have an advantage i don't

know i think when you're jumping and 40

degree water and standing on burning

coals

i mean i'm sure you don't care while

that's happening but the people who are

watching because clearly there are

people watching but i think it was just

like not bowing out so i don't think

there was any advantage i mean i don't

me again i don't mean physically i mean

visually for the individuals watching i

don't

okay

i mean

listen

we've already gone on such a journey

there's more of a journey to be had okay

so

do you not want to go on the rest of

this journey i'm in it now do you want

me to stop the review you know

you told me to buckle in and i'm fully

buckled i know i felt like you didn't

believe me at first i'm fully and then

we took the first few sharp turns and

you were like [ __ ] i better buckle in

now because i didn't before all right

back to eating i just tightened the belt

is what happened carry on back to edie

she's in leo's room and leo's actually

i'm gonna grab a blanket and go sleep on

the couch in my room and she's like

what okay um so she's laying in his bed

he's laying on the couch and then she

starts to hear him watching porn and

like stroking himself

and then he starts narrating the porn to

edie

and so like telling her like oh like

this is what they're doing like she

starts to get pretty worked up and then

she realizes that she recognizes the

like the description and it's a

recording of her on the bus

[Laughter]

and she's like wait so then it wasn't

you who was going down on me if you were

recording and he's like maybe it was me

licking you and someone else was was

recording and already texted out like

who can say

and so then edie tries to get out of bed

to go see the video and leo's like if

you come over here i'm gonna delete this

so like don't ruin my moment

and edie's like you mean my moment

and leo's like i'll give you a moment to

remember

um

what a threat oh actually that may have

been edie saying that i don't know they

get naked she starts touching herself

leo rips off her panties so he can watch

her touch herself

they maintain eye contact well they both

masturbate

um

leo comes all over her boobs okay

and then

i mean considering all the other things

that have happened that feels pretty

tame at this point and then he's like

you should always be wearing my [ __ ] and

she's like like a mark and he's like

like i own you

so

okay

just something about the way you dropped

your voice to deliver that

really

how would you have preferred me deliver

that line i don't know

i'm not

i'm just pointing it out that it was a

thing that happened it was i also don't

think that's the first time nor will it

be the last time i dropped my voice for

a dramatic part of a reading no and i

know that i have done the same but

something about that particular moment

just stuck with me so anyway well also

the o words are always weird like own

obedience like you will obey me and

you're like

will

i like i don't think i will 10 bucks

says i won't [ __ ] like

really i don't think that's gonna happen

right i was on board until you used that

o word and now i don't care if i come

but i'm gonna make sure you don't

so i'm vindictive with it as well

all right so it's the next morning

switch to oliver they decide to set the

anne-marie plan of motion they know

anne-marie's dad has been having an

affair with her secretary so they

essentially schedule this meeting

and they plan on like going and um

accidentally walking into her dad's

office over his lunch break when it's

everyone knows he's [ __ ] his

secretary

so

um like edie gets dressed in some of

delilah's clothes and like finds one of

her like more like business appropriate

dresses and when she does

the note falls out like a love note

falls out of all of delilah's belongings

that says can't wait for your big day

i've memorized your body

so then well okay yeah so then edie's

like what who sent this do we know

anything about this no like this makes

me feel weird like i need to go through

the rest of her stuff at some point to

see if i can figure all of this out

um

what happens next honestly there's so

much

happening

um

there's like a like all of them i don't

remember all of them honestly here's

what i wrote has a slight clearing of

the air after last night edie says i

don't know what this is between us yet

with leo i know where i stand

oh she's talking to oliver at this point

like oliver because he had been pissed

that's what it was there's so much that

happened i was like i can't even keep

track of my notes

yes because

because leo had announced that like she

was staying in his room and oliver got

pissed right like clearly then she's

like

listen like i think for edie it's that

leo feels easier than like [ __ ] up

a lifelong friendship with oliver so

it's like

i don't want this to go sideways and i

don't know what this is with you yet but

with leo i know where i stand so it

seems like she's not she doesn't even

really like leo

she's like attracted to him and can

tolerate him but she's she doesn't have

like a an attachment to him at this

point

i think it's forming with all of them

but it was just already the most

pronounced with oliver because they had

all of the history

um because then oliver also kind of

notes that like both

barclay and leo

have been like more into edie and more

intentional

and

he's like oh [ __ ] like i may actually

need to like fight for her if this is

what i want um or they'll ruin my

chances

so

yeah i can't remember if i said that

we'd switch to oliver i don't know we're

back to edie now they're together

doesn't matter um so edie and oliver go

to emery's dad's office they have the

camera in hand they plan to start

recording since he normally bones his

secretary at lunch when they

accidentally like so like when they get

there

um anne-marie's dad's office door is

already cracked and it's not closed and

like what is this about and then when

they look in they find anne-marie

boning

franklin jarvis grandpa jarvis leo's

grandpa anne-marie is boning

leo's grandpa in her father's office and

then in the corner her father's just

standing there watching

the look on your face says you hate

everything about this

[Music]

okay

yeah so they're like yep this is not

what we said

they're like

we're out of here this is not what i

signed up for i just thought i was gonna

ruin her life by releasing video footage

of her dad boning his secretary i didn't

think i'd watch

her bone leo's grandpa while her dad

stood in the corner and watched although

i feel like that would equally ruin her

life

i agree

yeah i'm like that's not better

i mean like the grandpa boning i feel

like could go one way or another really

but the dad in the room it just puts it

like on another level like we're done

here

well so then they like take off and

escape through the elevators but they're

like they gasped when they saw it and

like there was like the sound that was

heard so

as they got off the elevators a random

dude walks up and is like were you just

up on that floor like no what are you

talking about

the dude who's questioning them is

vincent jarvis leo's douchey cousin

um and he kind of cuts off the office or

like their exit and is like asking like

were you just up at like kennedy's

office and they're like no

who's kennedy yeah so then leo

intercedes and is like oh no they're

with me

and

so they all just like are able to leave

and they make it to the car and then um

barclay sitting in the back with edie

and then edie is like we all need to

talk but like

he's like or she wants to like tell them

what's happening but she's also like

well barclay's a knight and leo's a

fledgling so like can i like can i trust

them yeah can we trust them with this

because this isn't like

typical stuff

then

it's not typical

it's not typical to walk into a room and

find

a

a schoolmate [ __ ] your other

schoolmate's grandpa while her dad

watches that is not typical you're

correct i would also like to note i

don't think it makes it better but i

don't think leah was a schoolmate

anymore i think he graduated

it doesn't make it better yeah so he's

just there

you're like chelsea that makes it worse

[ __ ] you um

yeah cause he's just hanging around in

the dorm whipping his dick out

his name's on the hall it's jarvis hall

he's leo jarvis like oh well then it's

kosher i know maybe i didn't clarify

that enough before to say that makes it

okay to do things like pee on people

happy passover everybody

i hope this episode drops nowhere near

april and everyone has no idea

what the [ __ ] you were referring to

i'm like okay i'm so sorry anyway

so they don't know if they can trust

them and then edie's like take us to

some place the nights would never go so

that we can like maybe have a

conversation about this so leo takes

them to a go-kart place

naturally right and he's like you know

where the knights are too highbrow for

go-karts and they have great food there

so that's where he takes them good for

leo um yes but then like edie's super

hesitant to tell the guys anything

because she's like i don't know if we

can trust them so then barclay's like a

secret for a secret and has leo record

him

taking a video saying like

i went down on a student and that he

lied to the knights about why he wanted

to return to carnegie university so we

start to like learn like barclay has

some layers underneath and like there's

some things but like we don't

necessarily we don't know any of that

backstory

um so then edie and ollie tell them what

they saw i.e anne-marie [ __ ]

grandpa jarvis

i just

listen listen we we fully support

age gap like i want to be clear

like we're not here to king shame

anybody

no but i'm not king shaming the age gap

i'm we're consuming grandpa jarvis yeah

who is gross

the power

yes what yes we are ashamed to point

that out yes we're cool like you do your

thing man

but

yeah with a power dynamic like that we

won't get into a consent conversation

but i don't feel like well i think

at least once an episode we say consent

is very important consent matters

um

so yes eating ollie tell them what they

saw and then leo is like

i bet

that was an alliance move for cousin

vincent and that anne-marie is going to

be marrying into the family because

grandpa [ __ ] every girl who marries

into the family to show he's still the

head of it

and then um is that like a prima nocta

situation

i don't know what that means oh my god

have you never watched the movie brave

or not brave

yes braveheart

brave and braveheart are gonna be real

different different and spray part was

the one i was thinking of um i'm not

gonna lie i probably haven't seen

braveheart in 20 years okay

so

in braveheart kind of the whole point

behind it is that

the king has the power to

deflower any woman on her wedding night

as claiming rights of primo primonocta

or whatever

and so

in braveheart the one guy is like um the

king is not going to rape my wife so

they get married in secret and then

people find out and his wife dies and

then he goes around killing people but

the point is that's what this sounds

like it's like a prima noctis situation

like if you're gonna marry into the

family you have to [ __ ] the king

yeah and then her dad had to stand on

the corner and make sure there was

quality control i was gonna ignore that

how are you going to ignore her father

doing quality control by not mentioning

it it doesn't change it that's just

called avoidance hannah

i am very deep in experiential avoidance

of her father watching her [ __ ] a man

that i imagine was what like 50 years

older than her at least yeah well and

then edie's like i'm afraid that'll be

me next and leo's like i won't let that

happen

um

yeah so then they all get back to the

dorm room

there's a high-ranking member of the

knights there his name is jack green

um and he tells them that they're in

fourth as far as all of like the pledge

rankings um but then it also says for

passing the second challenge edie and

ollie get a reward and the knights

reward with your greatest sexual fantasy

of course and then edie realizes like

she is oliver's greatest sexual fantasy

which is sweet right um but then he's

like

get up to my room and don't say another

word like we're doing this [ __ ] because

i feel like he's just been waiting for

his chance and he's like i'm [ __ ]

taking this chance i'm gonna make her

mine this shit's on lock now exactly

so he orders her to his room he's like

definitely way more demanding than usual

and like edie starts to realize like oh

he is really giving during sex like i'm

like what did you think what's happening

this you mean the man playing london

bridge

with your [ __ ] and then he went to

masturbate in your bathroom because he

didn't want to inconvenience his

depression he's not a generous lover

he's not a generous lover she thinks he

is a generous lover well now she knows

well i think he was a generous lover

then as well was he she didn't think so

i don't think i don't think she ever

thought of it like it was just like oh

okay like

she would

she'd he'd give her a [ __ ]

that's not

i know i've said that before and you

were like chelsea

can women get [ __ ] and i'm like i

guess if he blows on it you can um so

she

oh my god

i just i don't think i've ever said it

but i think it bears saying now that

i love that we're doing this

i love it so much even if nobody ever

hears any of this [ __ ]

i [ __ ] love that we are taking the

time to do this right oh me too

yeah so all right here's the thing i

think edie realized oliver was just like

always offering to go down on her and

then when she'd like oh like she'd

orgasm like do you want do you want it

hurting like no thanks i'm good she was

just like trying to

not ask anything of her so i think she

like actually did start to realize like

oh he's a really generous lover and

maybe i've been a little bit selfish um

my

notes they have passionate wild sex

there's a lot of stuff that happens i

don't really know um but then she

realizes that like the door is open and

that leo and barclay can like hear

everything that's happening nice i'm

sure ollie did that on purpose oh one

thousand 000

um and then afterwards ollie's like

like he's still inside her and he's like

i'm

i'm never leaving because like i'm

afraid i'll never have

you again

like you can't just stay inside of her

indefinitely like that's not

that's unhealthy

physically and emotionally

on a lot of levels um so then edie

kisses him and

is like oh maybe like our relationship

is shifting

okay

yeah i think she's coming to terms with

like

her best friend has real feelings for

her and she's like do i want to destroy

my relationship with my best friend for

the sake of like potentially moving into

a romantic relationship but i already

lost my sister and like

so many layers yeah like i think she's

she's trying to process it

so we're back to leo now okay we are now

a week in the future things have been

calm so hold up hold up hold up so that

was leo's sexual fantasy did or i mean

ollie's sexual fantasy did we'll get

there okay yeah well i was like hold up

are we leaving out edie because my girl

deserves satisfaction i mean i think she

got satisfaction

within during her experience it wasn't

her

yes fantasy she will get more

satisfaction before the book ends um but

you are correct we have not gotten to

her greatest sexual fantasy yet okay

i wonder what it could be

well so does funny because they're a

week in the future and like edie is

avoiding all of them and it's just like

i'm keeping my head down this has been

getting wild um

and leo and barclay are like talking in

the kitchen about edie's greatest sexual

fantasy being all three of them nice and

um they're like even the prince said

that like the fantasy is all three of us

so edie overhears and she's like i love

that you guys are talking about my

greatest sexual fantasy before i've even

had coffee in the morning

um

and she's like that's not what i want

and so then like leo and barclay kind of

like

my notes say make her a sex sandwich

trying to get her to admit it um

so like leo starts like pushing in

behind her and barclay pushes it on her

front and then like leo spreads her ass

cheeks to make a nook for himself and

then they're like what's your greatest

fantasy

um

yeah so like that happens and then they

like mention oliver and like the three

of them and she's like well oliver left

last night like wait what she's like

yeah like he said he needed some space

and he left last night

so like it like completely destroys the

mood kills the vibe she goes to her room

and then leo was like oh i'm going to go

talk to edie and then when he gets

outside her door he hears her like

leaving a voicemail for oliver being

like hey oliver like call me i want to

talk

and so then leo's like you need to

figure out what the hell you want girl

like

you need to figure it out

which i respect yeah

so

switch to barclay again

and he's walking to class and suddenly

he hears like edie shouting behind him

and she's like did leo not mention that

like you're supposed to be walking me to

class so i'm not alone he's like [ __ ] no

he didn't i'm sorry so they're walking

um and like he asks edie if like her

parents are happy that she's at carnegie

university and she's like they're not

but i had to step up like d was all dad

had and he's like no like i'm sure you

wouldn't think that and like she cuts

them off and just like you don't know

anything like don't

like don't count me yeah like don't tell

me about my family dynamics and

barclay's like well you're not the only

one who's been through [ __ ] like you're

like starting to get in this fight about

like clearly there's underlying stuff

there and then a random female student

is like

ulrich or whatever his name is

because we don't know how to pronounce

it um

and

so he's like oh [ __ ] this girl's a crush

on me she can't take a hint so he like

goes to turn to edie to be like don't

leave me alone with her but edie's

already bounced

and this girl is like oh like i can't

wait for everything you're gonna teach

us in class today wink wink yeah and

he's like my name's professor barclay to

you is like really trying to set this

boundary with her and she can't take a

hint

so he goes and gets to his classroom but

then he's like

where did edie go we're supposed to be

keeping eyes on her

i

can't ensure that she's safe so he sits

down at his desk and he's like i'll pull

up her schedule

on like the admin portal for the college

that he's access to as a professor so he

sits down at his desk to do so

edie is under his desk

of course she is

fondling his [ __ ] of course she is

the look on my husband's face he's both

laughing and nodding along

which is my favorite part yeah so she's

fondling his [ __ ] under the desk and

like they're like trying to stay quiet

so then barclay's like pop quiz

everybody

um

yeah he does have a pop quiz well he

sure does

and he's like hope you just did your

reading last night because y'all are

teaching the class today so the first

like super brown-noser in the class he

calls up and they like start lecturing

and teaching

and then

barclay's like no you guys try again go

home and read the book we're ending

class early you're all terrible yes um

so my exact notes say decided in class

finish blow job doesn't lock door strips

edie on his desk she gets head too

good for her right but then when they go

to leave leo is outside of like the

classroom door and he is

pissed

and he's like oh you'll [ __ ] everyone

but me

to edie

and edie's like just because i'm

attracted to you doesn't give you the

right to talk to me like that like damn

straight no sir and leo gets super

pissed and like storms off

um

and then

why what happens i don't know chelsea

neither do i

you [ __ ] figure it out dude i'm all

the way in now

i don't know edie and barclay talk after

they

both performed

fellatio

on each other

it's

it's not

it's not never mind it's not

everybody it's not hannah i'm a couple

of glasses of wine at this point we're

trying the best we can today

well i'm not here to complete education

about the difference between fellatio

and canelo i know i said so i said they

both got fellatio and i was like that's

not the word and hopefully we can move

past this

but we can't we know i said the wrong

word

they both get head okay

they sure both of them receive oral

is there yeah and then they discuss it

later

yes and they kind of like they talk a

little bit about d they talk about the

nights a little bit and like barclay has

one of those moments where he's like

okay it's like what what is everyone's

motivator here in being a part of this

group also everyone i apologize that i

like said they both got fellatio that's

not true as i said it i was like this is

wrong and i hope we can avoid it and

then we did it and now i'm just really

fixated on it um back to edie so that's

where we're at in life back to you edie

back to edie

so

all of our text edie and address to meet

him at and oliver had rented a house not

far from campus because he was like

i'm not gonna slum it in the dorms any

longer than i need so i'm gonna rent

this place off campus

and then convince edie to move into it

with me

so that way we can like not live in

dorms

that was his initial motivation i that

did happen earlier on in the book i

think it actually he rented it before

they even got there whatever

she goes to the house to talk to oliver

about everything when she gets there

oliver has kidnapped keegan

of course he has yes um

he's a crazy stalker yeah he just wants

you to have everything she wants in life

is something wrong with that hannah

yes

[Laughter]

people should not have everything that

they want

they shouldn't but sometimes

you just might find

what you need

i'm so sorry

i do feel like

we're both

multiple glasses of wine in and in my

mind that was a an excellent harmony

you're like we're gonna kill this

we are gonna sing our asses off here and

when i listen to that on the playback i

will

probably change my mind at least you

didn't say fellatio

so we are doing great today

um yes

oliver has kidnapped keegan they started

interrogating him we find out keegan

really did love delilah i know i kind of

gave that spoiler earlier

um

he did love delilah and he keeps warning

edie to leave and he's like you aren't

safe you need to leave talk to your dad

you need to leave

and then tells edie that dee had a

stalker

and this not oliver

had a stalker who was the one who sent

her that card that was like i've

memorized your body

um

and the

card that said i memorize your body was

delivered with flowers that were wrapped

in

um not just like normal cellophane or

something that flowers normally come in

it was wrapped in a gossip magazine that

pictured that like featured pictures of

dee in a bikini from a family vacation

yes oh um

also then suddenly keegan passes out i

still really have no idea what the [ __ ]

happens here he was just like i'm done

here it's like yeah he got himself

really worked up and just like

passed out and so then oliver's like

okay royal servants come take him away

and there's the servants just have a

fleet of [ __ ] mini coopers to do

oliver's bidding mini coopers well

they're british

yeah and then so we couldn't do a like a

a land rover or an aston martin it's a

mini cooper because we're british

well the fleet of servant cars are mini

coopers why would all of the servants

have aston martins hannah

okay

this is the biggest plot hole in the

whole book

the mini cooper it is what i'm stuck on

anyway

so then while they're there ollie does

tell like when edie's like what is this

place ollie's like i rented the house

for us

um and then ollie and edie kind of start

processing like who could the stalker be

then like they're like could it be

barclay could it be leo like

so i'm like [ __ ] we really can't trust

them

um

we are now back to leo

and

the

team has been called to like the knights

building um or the night's house for

another trial when they get to the door

there's like a fledgling outside who's

like no pledge is only only

edie and oliver are allowed to go inside

for this one like barclay and leo have

to stay out and leo

right well and leo and barclay are like

nope

you guys said we had to stay with her

and this is our church and that's what

we're [ __ ] doing so kick us out of

the room if you need but we are going in

there with her

so

they all go in and leo's cousin vincent

is in the room and this trial is the

favor

trial

um where you have to complete a favor

for someone with no questions asked and

edie and oliver are told that they have

to get the paternity test

for

this random woman um within 24 hours

just edie and oliver the others can't

help um barclay gets super mad and loses

his [ __ ] like punches a wall like no one

really understands why

okay we haven't we don't know those

details and then they're like all right

let's go let's all go back to the door

and like plan together and then they're

like well we we have to do it alone and

they're like we can all plan together

you just have to implement it alone

so

switch to oliver they're putting the

plan into motion at this point the plan

is to go

to the ob gyn's office and evie is going

to pretend to

have accidentally left a tampon in for

over a week and having toxic

toxic shock syndrome

this is their plan

that

she was outside crying in pain oliver

was just passing as a good samaritan

brings her into this clinic asking them

for help

so then while the nurses are helping

edie oliver's like because people like

he's

well he's not in line for the throne

he's recognizable enough that like

people know him as royalty okay and so

he's like oh like can is there someplace

i can like hide so like paparazzi won't

see that i brought a woman in because

like that would not go well for me like

oh my gosh of course they like let him

hide in the records room

natural naturally so he like takes a

picture of the file

um

they are figu they like have obviously

been successful and then she's like they

just like kind of run out it's a very

unresolved situation

and then as they're driving back they're

holding hands

and edie's just like everything's just

like been so wild and like i just want

to like feel

like myself

so they [ __ ] in the driver's seat

in the driver's seat

yeah they [ __ ] in the driver's seat

that's exactly what my note said

okay yeah while the car is in motion or

are they apart no they pull over hannah

they're safe drivers yeah and i don't

think this was a mini cooper i think

that's only for the servants there was

more leg room in the actual vehicle

well that's good

yes my glasses were starting to hurt my

face so i took them off but i can't

really see without them so i just

now i'm questioning my life choices but

i already

took them all do you want me to read you

your notes no i don't that'll be like

when you were like i'm gonna say the

word wolf for you

because you can't pronounce it and that

didn't get us very far so

this is just where we're at in life um

but then like while they're boning

like i guess

before oliver sexual fantasy and sense

of sexual fantasy they've never kissed

they've only ever kissed during that

like sex scene where it was his sexual

fantasy okay

so then like she's kind of like kissing

up his neck and his body and like

oliver's really creating this narrative

in his head that like

if she kisses me on the mouth that means

like our relationship is progressing

um okay

yeah he's like we're turning a corner in

our relationship if we kiss on the mouth

i mean does she

yeah

they do kiss on the mouth but that also

like wasn't a conversation they were

having during sex

that was just like in his head he's like

this will be

the difference this is the moment

yes

so

they meet

we're oh sorry switch back to edie now

perspective they go um to meet up with

vincent they give him the paternity test

and then

he like sees the results and he's like

you guys did really well i'll let the

elders know that you did really well and

then like looks at vincent looks at leo

and says you need to check in with

gramps and he's kind of like what does

he need he's not going to grandpa about

cause i thought he didn't like his

grandpa what's going on and like kind of

gets a little suspicious

um

and so she asks leo about it and is like

what's that about and leah's like bold

to ask when you have your own secrets i

saw

a mini cooper dropping off a very

stunned keegan back to his dorm so like

don't come at me asking for secrets when

you clearly have your own

then eg's like well i have unfinished

business with keegan then leo and

barclay are both like well like what

because they're like jealous [ __ ]

even though like nothing is really

defined everyone's just like having that

like slightly possessive thing they're

like like what like i thought like you

guys hated each other

and then edi's like no it actually turns

like my sister's relationship with him

had changed and

like there's more to the story and

i have more details i want to get from

him and like then leo pushes back

and it's like i don't believe it and

then edie's like you wouldn't understand

and leo just like

gets quiet and walks off like doesn't

say a [ __ ] word just like leaves like

there's like building argument

where she's like you wouldn't understand

i lost my sister [ __ ] you

and he just like gets quiet and leaves

and you're like oh are you okay liam i

don't think so i don't think he is

because

barclay then tells edie

that leo was the one who found his dad

so like

it's kind of like a

if anyone gets it it probably is leo

yeah

so edie feels super shitty goes to her

room tells him not to follow she just

wants some time for herself she goes

through all of these boxes

and then it's like

i i need to talk to my dad about all

this i need answers he hasn't taken my

phone calls he hasn't been taking my

text like i need to know what happens so

she decides she's going to go confront

her dad and then takes off without

telling anyone of course she does so

yeah leo's gone and then because she

wanted to be alone both barclay and

oliver like went to bed and so she just

kind of like sneaks out turns off the

alarm turns it back on when she's gone

and then goes to her dad's house or her

parents house rather

and but like on the way there she's

like kind of like thinking through the

suspects and like who could have done

and who could have called her sister

and like her parents have not been

questioning the same people or any

people and they've just been sad and so

then like on this drive edie's like

maybe my dad doesn't suspect anyone

because it actually was an

accident

like girl you made it this far in to

just suddenly ask yourself this question

now that's my thought at least

um but then like she's kind of out of it

because she's kind of processing through

this so then like

a car honks behind her and they flash

their lights and she's like oh i was

only going like 30 and a 50. so she

speeds up like they stay right on her

ass and she's like [ __ ] i'm being

followed so like

she swerves and turns off and manages to

lose them like we're never actually sure

if she was being followed okay

um she gets to her parents house

it's very late she confronts her dad and

is like dad like why have you been

avoiding my text and like tells them

like i want to talk to you about d i

want to talk about the knights i want to

talk about the stalker

like

i heard dee was fighting on the deck

with someone the night she died like do

you even know who that was

and

her dad's like not giving her any

answers then suddenly the door behind

edie like opens and closes

and her dad like sees it happen then

like grabs her wrist from across the

table it's like be strong i can't help

you

and oh dear yes

so a cloaked elder so she can't see who

it is but a cloaked knight

greets edie's dad but she like

recognizes it like can't quite place the

voice like it sounds kind of familiar

and then the voice is like eden aster do

you accept the will of the knights

um and then like her dad begs like don't

hurt her and then they put a bag over

her head again

but this time like her eyes get really

heavy and she passes out and she goes to

sleep drugged in some way yep

then we have got to be close to the

point we are very close to the end oh my

god um she wakes up

swinging upside down over a body of

water we've done that before remember

roxy never mind from ten of vipers she

also woke up swinging upside down

from a meat hook anyway

this one wasn't a meat hook this one was

a boat hook oh okay yes

um

and there's a ton of robed knights under

where she is hanging and she sees leo is

there as well uh-oh um and then she

realizes they're on a dock and that it's

like a rope and pulley to bring boats

out of the water that she's hanging

upside down over okay um

but she's also like

she can tell just from the way her

body's feeling knowing how cold the

water is she's like if i hit the water

i'm gonna like go into shock and like i

won't be able to swim

and so she starts having a panic attack

and

someone's like what the [ __ ] is

happening to her and like panic attack

right like

yeah so she's just like hanging upside

down from a boat hook having a panic

attack that's not ideal no

then another voice is like bring them

out

and they've got ollie as well oh no

right sweet ollie um sweet stalker ollie

sweet stock ally then he sees her

hanging and is like super pissed and is

like screaming like get her the [ __ ]

down and they do not care

another voice unmoved they are very

unmoved another voice is in like she

looks so much like her sister ass and

all

so like everyone's just kind of like

objectifying her as she's hanging there

she cries for help she's like leo help

me leo help me leo doesn't answer leo

doesn't respond and everyone's like oh

did she think he was on her side like

does she not know he's on our side and

all of this

and so then she's like well i guess i

have to defend my spin for myself and i

can't trust anyone so she just like

shuts down gets quiet it's like i'm

gonna hang here just kind of goes into

like survival mode

and then they even say they're like

you've been hanging here for hours and

the water below you is so cold like

you'll seize and you'll die just like

your sister did nice

and then someone else says

um she got it easier than her sister but

i have to admit they both make pretty

little dead girls

lovely and then the rope drops her in

and she's like

feels her body season she's like nothing

i can do about it night's won at least

i'll get to cd again soon

end of book

okay

[Laughter]

i mean

when does the next one come out i think

like june uh

yeah i really because here's the thing i

think when i read this one i was like oh

barclay's gonna like something's gonna

happen at the start of the next book the

story is gonna continue because i

definitely felt like it was being set up

but it was kind it did throw me off and

it was kind of disconcerting when i read

hush hush as the prequel after i read

this one

knowing d dies

right and so like

the endings felt almost identical where

like i mean obviously the situations

that led them there were very different

but the ending of like

i'm gone i'm gone i'm nothing or

something like that it's like how

hush-hush ends so i was like and the

series is like the pretty little dead

girl series so i'm like oh

is she going to make it or are they just

going to kill every girl they're like no

that doesn't make great books no one

wants to read when the love interest

dies every book right

well and i wonder too if maybe

maybe the opening of the next book is

like

i don't know something like saving her

is leo's

thing to become a whole night or

something like maybe maybe something is

gonna happen

well i doubt leo saving her would help

him become a full knight because the

knights did kill her sister

right

but like well maybe that's the whole

thing they don't really want him to

become a knight so yeah like this is

your this is your task is to save this

girl that's definitely dead right and

like because leo and ollie

are both there we don't know if barclay

was there and like that final scene he's

not mentioned in that capacity so like

he could have been a hooded person who

didn't do anything but like there is a

chance all three of them are there

like i wouldn't be surprised if it's

like a

all three of them are there and then

they all like they all end up banding

together to disassemble the

knights or some [ __ ] like that right um

but i am really curious i don't know

where it's gonna go because she's

definitely not afraid

to go there you know what i mean right

right

well i guess we're gonna find out in

june hopefully

yeah

and um

i am also curious what happens with

keegan because it doesn't feel like his

character is done yet yeah

but i still don't understand why he

randomly passed out

he just like got emotionally worked up

and passed out so here's the question

that that i have that is burning okay

what

how many mini coopers do you rate this

book

um so

i'm gonna have to clarify that question

because there's a wide variety of mini

coopers

there's the

like oh gee all right so fun fact do you

remember the movie the italian job yeah

so the italian job be like oh gee

mini cooper don't look at my husband

like this what the [ __ ]

i'm sorry i just it was like a

commiserating is she really going on

this tangent that is the look y'all just

gave me i needed to share the moment

with someone

okay so fun fact jesus christ the

original mini cooper that charlie sarah

drives at the beginning of italian job

they had to specially

like outfit for her because it's not

made for like normal sized people so

like trying so hard not to look at vans

you're allowed to look at vans it was

just a commiserating look where i'm like

okay

it would have been commiserating you're

such an [ __ ] i love you but you're

such an [ __ ]

um but no like there's like the newer

mini coopers there's there's the

four-door series

so i have questions okay you know which

mini okay we're gonna go with four-door

because i feel like if we're

transporting unconscious individuals

then we would need a four-door yes for

the sake of accessibility that is the

easiest for sure yeah um

if we're going with a four-door mini

cooper

i'm

gonna give it like

three out of six mini coopers

okay

um because

like ian moore isn't afraid to fully

send it on a book

but i'm also super [ __ ] intrigued

like because i read the book and was

like oh [ __ ] i need to know what happens

and was pissed when i realized the

sequel wasn't out yet and i think from

that vantage point like yes it is like

very over the top in a lot of ways

in a lot of ways let's be completely

honest we're like what the hell is even

happening here but

it was intriguing enough that you wanted

to keep reading it okay and that you

wanted to know what happened it was

intriguing enough that i finished this

one and then i was like oh the only

other book that she has out is the

prequel done and i picked up the prequel

and read it okay okay i think i can get

on board with that so for that we're

gonna have three out of six four-door

mini coopers okay yes okay any other

questions about the book um

no

like

i think it really is one of those weird

ones where i'm like

none of the dudes are great like there's

not like nah

i'm like okay so like leo is a brash

[ __ ] who's not afraid to piss on

people

barclay clearly has like secrets and is

older and like we don't fully know so we

can't fully trust him

and oliver has no boundaries and is like

loki a stalker yeah

but i'm like rooting for all of them

but i don't like any of them

okay

girl you know how this tension goes in

some of these books i do yeah where

you're like oh this is this is not great

but i can't look away yeah well and like

you know we can be rooting for them and

hoping that

there is

some character development eventually in

the series where we will like them

yeah like i feel like if we can get some

answers in the second book like

because i don't i think like the way

they were setting leo up was he was he

was actually starting to like

have feelings and realize he was [ __ ]

up and was like

that's part of why when she when she was

like you would never understand and

he's gaining insight into all of this

100 and so i think

with how they were kind of moving some

of the character development i won't be

surprised if we get more of that in a

second book but i'm also not sure if

it's going to be like hell is the next

book going to be anne-marie and they're

going to kill her as well yeah yeah

because i'm like i could see it going

like female that was prominently

discussed yeah right so i'm like i could

see it going that way or i like i'm also

like is this going to be a duet is this

going to be a trilogy is this going to

be a quartet

honestly i don't my heart has it in it

for a quartet of this

um

duet would be preferred

i don't

i feel like with a trilogy there's

always one book

that's not as strong yeah yeah maybe two

books that aren't as strong

i guess we're gonna find out

yeah so stay tuned i guess future

chelsea and future hannah will review

whatever the next book in the pretty

little dead girls series is

yeah um my future hannah's gonna need a

lot of notice before the next book is

reviewed

yeah i'll just get another box of wine i

was gonna say

future hannah is gonna need to pre-game

that because what the [ __ ]

but i also feel like future hannah is

probably going to read this book anyway

yeah

you're like i'm gonna talk a lot of [ __ ]

but i am also gonna read this book i'm

very self-aware so yes

yeah i'm gonna read this trash and i'm

gonna be into it and then i'm gonna make

fun of it and that's the truth and

that's how we became friends

and that's how we formed the smug club

right

so y'all let us know your thoughts let

us know how many mini coopers you would

rate this book four door mini coopers um

if you are going to move into another

mini cooper type please let us know so

that way we can adjust for size

accordingly

that's what she said

and on that note we love you guys we

hope you have a great night bye all

right

next week on smack club what a title for

your debut i know

um and i just want to preface by saying

i

genuinely enjoyed this book i don't know

if it's actually any good but i did

actually really really enjoy it it had

some very funny moments i just i just

want to pause you

i don't know if it's any good but i did

enjoy it

i mean

we'll get to the actual review christian

eye of the beholder yeah i enjoyed it i

read this book while i was on vacation

which is relevant because i don't

normally drink very much

um however when i was outlining this

book

i was mostly intoxicated so we'll see

what happens

well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ]

we hope it was good for you

because it sure was great for us

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