Smut Club

Well, hello all you beautiful people.

You know what time it is.

Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and

everyone in between.

Gather around. Get you something real

nice to sip on and comfy to slip on.

Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's

your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah.

Announcement time. Um, so we have been

doing this podcast for several years

now. Um, we launched in 2022 and we've

built such a wonderful community over

these last several years and are looking

for new ways to kind of expand and be

able to connect more deeply. So, the

first one of those ways that we've been

talking about is life coaching. um which

is a chance to work one-on-one

individually to help make life feel a

little less sticky. Um spots will be

limited as we launch that. So if you're

interested, we will have a link in our

show notes and in our Insta bio. So

definitely go and join the wait list so

that as soon as we launch, you are first

in line to grab a spot. And if life

coaching really doesn't feel like a good

fit or not quite your jam, but you're

still interested in connecting and

engaging more with our community, we are

also looking into launching a book club.

So, if you're interested in that option,

follow the same link and uh you can get

on the wait list for that as well. And

now back to the show.

Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club.

I'm Hannah. and I'm Chelsea. And this is

the show where we are two licensed

professional counselors and life coaches

who enjoy drinking while reviewing

romance novels of varying caliber.

Yep.

Yeah, that is the show.

Let I mean, you know what you're here

for now. So,

expectations have been set.

Yeah. If that sounds good to you, stick

around. Stay a while.

We're so happy you're here.

If you're like, I don't like any of

those things. Um, there are so many

podcasts.

I was going to say, "How did you get

here?" Cuz we're not subtle about it.

Smut Club.

I told someone I was like, "I co-host a

podcast called Smut Club." They're like,

"Oh, what's it about?"

I don't know how to tell you this.

Yeah. And I was like, "Oh, if that's

your first question, we read different

books."

It's about the economic rise and fall of

the Roman Empire. Like,

well, I was at the hair salon recently

and I was talking to my stylist because

the last time I'd been there, she was

telling me like she'd gotten a Kindle.

She was starting reading more, was

becoming a book girly. And I'm like,

"Love this." And so I asked him like,

"Oh, what have you been reading?" And

like, she's like, "Oh, like you know, I

read I just finished recently like The

Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo." And I

was like, "Yeah." I was like, "I've read

these other ones by her." So, we were

talking about that. and she's like, "You

reading anything good recently?" Um, and

then I told her about the book we're

reviewing today and she was just getting

more and more quiet and I was like, "I I

see. I've learned

there are there is a varying caliber."

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I was like, I found the line and

then I was like, how do I walk this

back? And I was like, I can't, man. I

can't. Um, but to bring y'all into the

review, I was giving my hair stylist.

Um, we today are reviewing Why Cheese?

Why Cheese? There's a question mark at

the end of Cheese. This is not the

sequel to Who Moved My Cheese? Which

would be my initial

like expectation of a book called Why

Cheese? I'd be like, "Who Moved My

Cheese? Why Cheese?"

The squeak.

Exactly. You get it.

That joke works on multiple levels for

our OG list here. It does.

Um, so this book is by Ellen Mint.

Cool.

And mint is spelled like the kind you

pop in your mouth. M I N T. Yeah.

Peppermint.

Mhm. There you go.

Mhm.

I don't know why I'm feel like I need to

spell it. No, I do know why I need to

feel like I need to spell it because

earlier I said it thinking mint, you

know, as one traditionally spells mint

and my husband was like adding several

vowels to it. What? He was like, "Is

there an E in there?" And I was like,

"No, just just like just the traditional

one."

Did he mean mint? M E A N T. Is that

what he thought?

Maybe that's what he was clarifying.

Maybe it was like a pen pin situation.

Sure.

But yeah, that's why I felt like I

needed to spell it because earlier I was

like,

"Everyone will know." And then the very

first person I said it to was my husband

and he did not know. Um, okay. So, this

book,

so I

Yeah,

content warning for lactose intolerance.

Hannah, I was taking a sip of wine.

Cuz I'm over here like, are we eating

cheese? What are What are we doing with

the cheese? I'm a little I'm I'm

experiencing

trepidation

in your tummy. Yes.

Is that what you're doing with your

hands there?

To my tummy.

Are you lactose intolerant?

No, but I did recently have my

gallbladder removed, which has changed

my relationship with cheese. So,

Oh, cheese is on your no-go list now.

It's not a nogo. It's more like

proceed with caution go.

Yeah. It's like if I'm going to have

cheese, it's fine. I just might be a

little bloated later. And it's a

calculated risk that I usually take

daily if I'm honest. So

you're like, I know what this risk is

and

permablat and I've got it.

You're like, and I have zero regrets.

Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if different

cheeses

like do soft cheeses do you respond to

those differently than hard cheeses?

Not that you really want to get into

your GI tracks experience of various

cheeses.

Well, the higher fat versus the lower

fat content makes a difference.

This is going to be a silly thing that I

should maybe know after reading a book

about cheese. I'm assuming soft cheeses

have higher fat.

Yeah.

Yeah. Cuz I'm like a hard cheddar.

Yeah.

But like also cheese is fat.

Yeah. So, it is just fat in general,

right?

Well, okay. So, let's get into it.

Anyway, there's cheese.

There's cheese. Um, we open with Violet.

Okay.

Violet.

Cute name again.

She has been left a cheese shop called

Guda Fellas.

Hell yeah.

Yes.

Immediate. Yes.

Every single chapter starts with a

different cheese pun.

The cheese puns abound in this book.

I love that.

Yes.

Okay, I'm on board.

A lot of respect.

So, Gudafellas was owned by Violet's

great uncle, Matteo. Um, when she was a

child, she would go and visit him and

like work at the cheese shop in the

summer,

like as a young child. And then at some

point, she stopped going to visit, but

like was young and like didn't remember

like really know why, just like she's

like, "Oh, yeah, I used to go." And then

like I stopped. Um, so Uncle Matteo has

passed away and has left her his cheese

shop. Cool.

Gudafellas. Um, it's across the country

from where they live.

So, she has flown to wherever it is.

Mhm.

They said the Sirloin district. So, is

that Philadelphia?

You could tell me anything. I should

have Googled that before we started. Um,

wherever there's a sirloin district,

they live on the opposite side of the

country. That's my metric. Got it. Yes.

I can't give you the longitude and

latitude for it.

Either way, we're going to the other

coast.

Yes. And so, Violet has flown across the

country to get this shop ready to be

sold.

Um, she's working with a realtor and

already has that set up. Her mom calls

her to check in and

the vibes are immediately not good with

her. like

reading this, you'll find later. I had

like visceral reactions when reading

about like just the way in which this

mom exists in the world and like

calls her and like it's so immediately

overbearing and she's like, "Yeah, I

just got to the shop." What do you mean

you just got to the shop? It's dark out.

Well, my flight was delayed. Well, there

could be murderers. Have you locked the

door? Like, oh, no, I didn't lock the

door. You're always so forgetful. just

like that kind of

Yeah. Like

like I understand the point that they're

making and I'm like, "Yep, we

I I get it." Um, so there's some bad

weather. Her mom's super overbearing,

but luckily the call drops and so we we

love some in weather. Yep, we do.

Pro tip,

put your phone on airplane mode instead

of hanging up.

Yep.

Don't ask how I know that.

Oh, crazy. My phone died. That that call

totally dropped. I don't know why.

So, Violet is walking around the shop

and she's looking at like there's like

cheese that has clearly Uncle Matteo

passed a couple months ago. Um, so like

there like there's something that she's

like, "Oh, this is like a is this a blue

cheese?" And it's like, "Oh, no. That

that's legit mold on that sort of

energy." Um, but

it's not the good mold people pay for on

their cheese.

Yes.

It's the oopsie mold, not the bougie

mold,

the penicellin mold.

Yes, 100%.

Um, she sees a photo of Uncle Mateo with

like four super hot guys. And she's

like, "Oh, wonder what that's like an

old photo of them like that's clearly

worn over the years." Um, and then she

finds a seller that she like didn't know

about as a kid. Hm. Uh, and so she goes

down and there's like wheels and wheels.

Like it's a cheese seller. Like there's

just

all of the extra supply is down there.

Um, very pungent, you know.

Sure.

At least that's what I'm imagining.

You open a cheese seller that's been

closed for months.

Yeah.

Pungent.

Pungent is the word.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, her mom calls back and is like

reminds her to like lock the door. I

think I was kind of alluding to that

earlier. And then we also find out here

that Violet definitely has some OCD um

and struggles with intrusive thoughts in

a real way. And so she goes to lock the

door, she has to turn the lock five

times and like and it'll like it's

written in the book like what her inner

monologue is if she doesn't. She's like

if you don't lock it like

you're like you'll die like your mom

will die. Like just all of like the the

true you're like oh no that's not

we need to get you help my love. like

that.

And so as she's locking the door, she

suddenly hears several male voices.

And so she goes to investigate

and they're like and like shines a light

down in the cellar and there's like four

naked men in the Yeah. And she's like,

"What?" Um

I think she like goes down to

investigate, but it's very dark in the

cellar.

She then tries to run, but like slams

into the ladder.

Oh. and her vision goes out. But then

she even said she's like, "I didn't

black out though. That might have been

less embarrassing cuz now I'm just

laying on the ground.

Why couldn't I be unconscious for this?"

I have had that thought. Like sometimes

[ __ ] is awkward. Like

But I don't know if being unconscious

would make it less awkward. For me it

would until you wake up.

Yeah. But then we have to deal with the

whole why were you unconscious thing and

we move right past why it was so

uncomfortable. You're like if anything

I'm giving them an out. Yeah.

Look how benevolent I am.

You're welcome.

Are you just going to hold your breath

in awkward situations moving forward?

Like what's the plan?

I don't have a plan. I did have a doctor

tell me I had the vapors once.

Did I ever tell you about that?

No. So years ago, I was at work um where

I worked with my husband at the time and

I blacked out for no reason. Like I just

suddenly went down. And so um we weren't

married yet, but we were dating and

everything. And so my husband came to

get me, whatever. I followed up with the

local doctor cuz I was like, obviously

it's not normal to just like Yeah.

pass out. and she ran a bunch of tests

and she was like, "Everything looks

fine. I think you just got the vapors."

And I was like, "Cool." Uh, I knew my

corset was a little tight that morning.

I should have planned better. Um,

you're like, "Oh, is the cure to keep

sniffing salts on hand?" Like, why

what does one do when they've been

diagnosed with the vapors? What's the F

code for the vapors? So what I found out

this year nearly 10 years later is I

have a very mild orthostatic imbalance.

And so once every few years I just pass

out. But like orthostatic imbalance.

It's like POTS but really really like I

don't have POTS.

Yeah.

But it's like that.

Is that why you passed out when you were

in line for the show?

That's why that's how I found out.

That's how you found out?

Yeah. I passed out again earlier this

year. which makes it sound like I pass

out a lot, but it's just those two

times. You're

like, it's literally like a once a

decade occurrence,

right? You're like JLo has been married

more times in the past 10 years than

I've passed out. It's fine.

Exactly. Sometimes my blood pressure

just goes, nah. Like, that's fine. What?

And there's nothing you can do.

It doesn't happen often enough for them

to put me on anything. Do you have

indicators or

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So, I just have to watch for

those. But since it happened this year,

I'm probably good until the 2030s, I

would imagine. So, just hang out. See

what happens.

I've got years before I'm going to pass

out again, don't you?

Plenty of time to plan.

Yeah.

That's fascinating. Yeah.

No, I did not know that. Um, and that

does feel like a more helpful diagnosis

than the vapors. Yeah. Mhm. I never went

back to that doctor.

I can't imagine why.

She's now the ma the medical director

for a major facility. So

that also feels Well, I told you about a

facility that I was once at where

I was talking with the doctor and we

were staffing a case and the person that

we were there staffing the case for um

really wanted to go to the hospital.

Sure. Um, and they were really trying to

make that happen, even though there was

actually no reason for them to go to a

hospital. So, while we're staffing it,

one of the like RAS walks in and she's

like,

she broke her shower bin and ate some

plastic, like ate the plastic from the

bin, swallowed it. And the doctor just

like takes a deep sigh and is like,

like, how much? She was like, like less

than a pinky nail size. He's like,

she'll pass it. It'll be fine anyways,

as you were saying. And he just like

moved on. And I'm like,

it's it's a specific energy to be able

to like be a medical director at a

facility like that.

Just be like, you've got the vapors,

it'll pass. Like, what? Okay.

You're like, and it did for 10 years,

right? She wasn't wrong technically.

So, maybe you should go back to her.

No, no, no, no. I shant. Um, so as

Violet's laying on the ground wishing

she'd passed out, all of the guys are

gathered above her and around her. And

this is where we get some introductions.

Sure.

So we have Cam, who is very much like a

Casanova heartthrob, like very Yeah.

Very flirty.

You've got Cheddy, Sir Cheddar, if we're

being formal. Um,

and then your face on that one. Um,

okay. Yeah, you're like, "Oh my god, can

like cam bear?" I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm I'm on board. I get it.

Okay. Then we've got Bri. Sure. Bri is

very shy and kind of like hiding behind

the others.

It's a mild soft cheese. I get it.

You get it. And then um Rock is like R O

Q is like the leader for Rocka. I know

cheese

pretty well for someone who gets the

bubble guts when they eat it. you

shouldn't be eating it anymore.

So, the guys are all like asking like,

"What day is it? What month is it?"

Like, they think they've been locked

away for a couple of months. Um like

Cheddy is like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so

hungry. Is that a chocolate bar?" And he

like picks up her cell phone and tries

to take a bite and he's like, "Ooh, that

hurts." And she's like, "Yeah, that's

not it's not food." Um, and it's just a

very like chaotic scene of the guys

trying to figure out what's happening,

her trying to figure out what the hell's

happening with these naked men, realizes

it is the dudes, the four hot dudes from

the photo with Uncle Matteo.

So, Uncle Matteo, my mind would go to

he's been keeping people in the basement

in the cheese cellar. What the [ __ ]

Soilent green,

right?

It's people.

After I saw Soilent Green for the first

time, I was looking at our HP computer

and I asked my sister, I was like, "What

does HP stand for?" She's like, "Hula

Packard." And I was like, "Okay, so not

homeless people. They aren't making

computer parts like young Chelsea's

brain."

I fairly regularly think about the scene

where they're carrying him out of the

church at the very end and you just see

his hand coming up and he's screaming,

"It's people." Like, I don't know. It

just lives in my head.

Yeah. So green stays with you for a lot

of reasons.

Really does.

Wasn't there like a protein shake that

came out called like Soylent?

Probably.

Yeah. And I was like, "For real? For

real? We could have done better than

that."

I'm like, "This will either really land

for a certain demographic. I wonder if

they're still open. I haven't I remember

that being forever.

It might be worth a Google later."

So Violet goes, "Oh my gosh, these are

all the dudes from that photo. That

photo's so old. These must be ghosts."

And so she

runs out of the shop and like takes off

and like runs down the street. And

that's how the night is.

She's like, I need an exorcist. Is this

all from Violet's point of view?

Yes, this is all Violet's point of view.

Great question. Um, so the next morning

she returns to the shop. She sees that

some of the shelves have been like

tipped over and it it looks like someone

had been there. Um, and so she calls the

cops and the cops are like, "We didn't

find anything except like some clothes

and cheese on the floor."

Clothes and cheese on the floor. A

a indeed.

So, as like after the cops leave, the

realtor shows up and he's like, "Hey,

Veronica, like great to see you." She's

like, "It's Violet." He's like, "Yeah,

Veronica." Like that sort of just like

slimy

slimy. His name is Josh.

Sure. Yeah.

Which I'm like, for the energy of this

realtor, it made sense that his name was

Josh. But I do also know several lovely

Joshes.

Yeah. But I know some really chaotic

Joshes.

My nephew Josh.

Well, I didn't even know you had a

nephew named Josh.

Yeah, Joshy.

Yeah.

Is Which end of that spectrum is your

Josh on?

To be determined. Both.

Yeah. To be determined.

You can both be lovely and bring some

chaos.

He's primarily lovely. Yeah. But he is

chaotic in the way that 15-year-old boys

are chaotic. So

Oh, yeah. It's just its own brand of

we do love that. Um the realtor we learn

like he's really anxious to help her

sell this property because it is prime

real estate.

Pun pun intended. Um

okay.

It's a a yeah a prime cut of your sloin

from the district. The sirloin district.

Yeah. It's not my best joke. Also,

probably not my worst joke,

unfortunately.

There are cheese puns. You miss 100% of

the shots you don't take.

This property is worth a minimum of 5

million.

Woo!

Yes. So, he is anxious to help her sell.

And like she didn't realize it was worth

that much. Um because he's like, "Yeah,

I think we can get like five." And she's

like, "Thousand?" He's like, "Million."

And she's like, "Wait, what?" Um, so

she's like, "Yeah, this sounds like a

good plan." So the plan is to sell the

cheese shop at this point in the realtor

set up. Several hours pass as she's at

the shop and just kind of

cleaning and getting organizing.

Exactly. And and she hears several

voices again

and uh one of the things she hears is

Rock asking where Matteo is and he's

like, "It's been 20 years."

You're like, "Wait, what?" They like

they ask who she is. Um since last

night's intros had been cut short when

she

ran out assuming they were all ghosts.

Um and so at some point she like joins

this conversation. They're clarifying

things. So she explains that Matteo had

passed uh due to liver failure and

Cheddy's like, "Oh no, was it my brandy

wines that I made?"

Yeah. Um, at some point in the future,

we'll learn that Chetty was a knight

like back in the day. Um, but like the

ultimate bro knight who is like always

down for a ch like a chug challenge is

like like golden retriever energy.

Yeah.

He's here for a good time.

Yeah. Every night when she shows up,

he's like so excited for whatever food

she's bringing. Like one night she she

shows up and he's like pizza. And she's

like tacos. And he's like, "Tacos."

He's just happy to be here.

Yeah. Like here for a good time, not for

a long time because he will turn to

cheese. You know,

it happens to the best of us. Um, so she

explains to the guys that she's uh going

to be selling the shop and the guys are

all realizing that like they'll be

uprooted and they'll no longer be safe.

M

um and asked if she would take them on

like as apprentices. And so they're

like, "Hey."

She goes, "I don't even know what you

are." I was like, "Apprentice in what?"

And one of them is like, "We're where

cheese."

Where cheese?

I just love watching your face through

this. Um

where being the Latin root for man.

Um, so they they turn to cheese by day.

So at sunset they turn back into like

real human men.

Sure.

But by day they turn to cheese.

So not having a safe place to be as

cheese during the day makes them very

vulnerable because if you turn into a

wheel of cheese,

someone could eat you,

right? You don't want to be at the deli

counter when that shift occurs.

You get it? Yeah. So they're like, "Hey,

we had this deal with Matteo. We we help

helped him make all of the cheese for

the shop." Um, and like in return, we

kind of had this safe space. And so they

like they take her down to the cellar

and like in the back there's like a

cheese vault that like Rock is like

super protective of. He like makes her

turn around so like she can't even see

like how to get into the cheese vault

where his like vats are there of I don't

know what goes into cheese making, but

vats of whatever it is. Hm. You know,

Kurds, I don't know, right? I'm like, is

it just milk in the vats? And I'm like,

I don't know.

If we have any cheese mongers out there,

please let us know.

He does give her lessons in the book on

how to make cheese.

Never mind. We don't need your lessons.

Well, apparently we do cuz I read the

book and I'm still like, what's in the

vats? So,

maybe Hannah's questions will be

answered.

My request ends. Yes,

there are like when they take her down

to the secret vault area, there are like

36 lb wheels of cheddar that have been

aging for like 20 years.

That's so much cheese.

So much cheese. And it's really nice,

high quality cheese.

And so

Rock is like, "Hey, we'll help you make

extra cheese and like this can all be

sold at a decent price. So, what if we

open the shop to sell the current

supply? Like, that gives us time to like

find a new home is the deal that they

end up making,

which feels it's a good deal. Yeah, cuz

she's like, "Well, I don't want to like

I don't want them to be eaten." Like,

I'm just saying it is a What What do you

do when you find out that there are four

naked cheesemen? Are you Are Cheesemen

cheese where cheesemen

I don't know.

So the next morning, Violet wakes up um

back like I think she fell asleep in the

shop um and the guys are all back in

their cheese form and left her a note

like with like the list of supplies of

like things that she needed to buy. And

so she brings all of the guys upstairs

in their cheese form cuz she wants to

put them in a safe space. And so she

like puts them all on the table

and she's like, "Okay, this this way

they'll all be like elevated and safe,

but then also like not thinking through

like

so cheese shop."

Well, no, they'll turn to men again and

then they'll just be on the table.

Oh, sure. Sure.

Yes. And so like that night when the sun

sets, they all start moving and Chetty

falls off the table and so his wheel of

cheese falls and she like sees it falls

like oh no. 5-second rule,

which is the screenshot you sent me.

Yes, that was the screenshot I sent you

where I was like, "This book is

wild."

Yeah, cuz then uh now mind you, when

they all turn into their cheese form,

she never actually knows where Rock is.

She like knows where the other three

are, but like Rock is very private.

In the vault.

Probably in the vault. Yes.

Um but like Cam and Bri are kind of

like, "Why are we on the table?

We are men again. Um, Violet has

purchased all of the supplies from the

list that she can. Um, they're like some

of the requested items were like raw

sheep's milk. And she's like,

"Yeah,

no one really wants to sell that to me."

And he's like, at Rock's like, "Tell

them it's to make cheese and it should

be a

Right." Like where do I find

like

I used to get raw goats milk for my dog?

Yeah.

From a specialty shop.

Was that the same specialty shop you got

the food at?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't know your dog also needed to be

on raw goats milk.

That was something we tried.

Okay.

When she first got sick, but we didn't

wind up sticking with it. But yeah,

that's

right. I'm like

it was a lot.

A lot. And I imagine you also weren't

buying it in the size amount that you

would need to like make copious

quantities of cheese.

No, it was like a a pint perhaps.

Yes.

Versus like like at some point she's

like, I found a cheese supplier. I did

have to promise I wouldn't drink it or

use it for anything weird. But like use

it for anything weird. What? I don't

want to know.

That might have been my wording, but I

feel like it was hers. I don't know.

I'm comfortable with that. So, not only

has Violet purchased all and brought all

of the supplies that she can, she also

is bringing dinner for them every night.

Um, and Bri is a vegetarian, so she like

always gets him like a vegetarian dish,

which is just

very nice.

So sweet. Um, and we also see in this

scene like there's clearly some tension

between Rock and Cam,

like the just [ __ ] already kind of

tension, but like also like maybe you

did just [ __ ] and that's

part of the problem.

Yeah. Um, but that general energy and

and Cheddy definitely says he's like,

"Oh, yeah, they used to be close." And

Violet's like, "Like like brothers." And

Cheddy's like, "No, the different kind

of close than brothers."

Yeah. Distinct differences there.

One can hope.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, Violet goes to take some of the

supplies down to the seller and

overhears Rock and Cam. Um, and like

Rock saying like it'll work this time

and Cam's like 3 months like you think

she's not going to figure this out like

like do you think you'll really be able

to like get your peace day resistance

finished before she figures it out and

you're like what is

you don't like fully understand like

yeah but Cam's like she's not a fool

she's like going to catch on at some

point. Um and then she falls down the

rest of the ladder so they very much

classic

yeah hear her and and catch her. Um, I

will say in the book there's a lot of

her inner monologue that's like a lot of

like her intrusive thoughts

and so that is like a very large

overarching theme in the book that I

probably like

don't go into as much um because

it's a lot.

Well, it's like she calls them the

gremlins like keeping the gremlins at

bay. So, she's like, "I'll do something

to appease the gremlins for a few hours,

like locking a door five times or things

like that." But then also with her

relationship with her mom,

you can just tell like she's very

insecure.

Yeah.

Which makes a lot of sense if someone's

been telling you that you're not worth

[ __ ] your entire life, right? Like

that gets internalized.

Absolutely. Like I not faulting her. I

see how we got there. But I'm probably I

don't touch on that necessarily as much

or I'm I'm realizing that I'm not

touching on it as much, but that is a

overarching

ongoing

theme throughout the book for sure.

Um and so Cam goes over to check on

Violet once she's fallen and Rock is

essentially like, "Thanks for the

supplies. You're dismissed."

And yeah,

uh sir.

Yeah. like straight up says we only have

so many hours to accomplish our tasks.

You being here will only slow us down.

Cool. And for the like emotional state

that Violet's in, she's like, "Oh my

gosh, like I'm so sorry." Like I'm not

trying to like and just like runs out of

the shop and like

Right. She's like, "Message received.

Bye." She's like, "My anxious attachment

will not tolerate this situation."

No. like Cam kind of shouts after her

and then as she like runs out the front

of the shop cuz like Chetty and Bri were

still upstairs um like in the main shop

when they'd been in the cellar

and so like you like can hear like the

guys like ask like what what happened?

Yeah. Like where's she going? Um but

yeah, she's like mortified and so

embarrassed and it's just like I always

ruin everything like

Yeah. And that's very much a lot of her

inner monologue in in the book. Um,

my heart

truly.

And so it's now been 2 days

and she's like by day she'll go and

she'll like get the supplies and she'll

leave food for them and then she's been

clearing out before sundown and it's

just

as as requested.

Yeah. She's like

I can follow instructions.

Yep. like

heard message received. I

my heart it really it really hurt. Um

but she finally found the sheep's milk

that Rock had been requesting. And so

she's like trying to move the jugs down

to the seller and ends up like spilling

some on her shirt, but moving them ends

up taking longer than she expected. So

by the time she's done, she's like,

"Shit, like the sun has set." like I was

planning on clearing out before then.

And so now that the sun is set, the guys

are all like really excited to see her

and they're like, "You're back. You're

here." Like, "Oh my gosh, we've missed

you." But like in that way, we're like

it'll be like, "We've missed you." Then

the next line in the book will just be

like italicized like being her inner

thoughts and then it's just like they're

just being nice. They just need you.

There's nothing that you're contributing

here is like an ongoing thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Like don't believe them.

Yes. Yeah. Don't believe them. They're

It's just because they need you for

whatever.

Um and so the guys are all really

excited about like man Rock cannot fill

the room. And it's just like such a

drill sergeant

and like taskmaster that like the guys

are all like really excited to see her

and he's like, "Okay, get back to work."

And the guy's like, "Well, we're

eating." And he's like, "The food will

hold, the cheese won't, like

go to your station." Sort of energy. So

the guys are like, "Oh, okay. It's good

to see you, Violet." Like,

yeah, like

Rock is for all intents and purposes

their leaders, like while it annoys

them, they also like still respect him

and kind of go along with it.

He's like, "There are cheese molds to

fill."

Like those will hold as well, right?

Just saying, Rock. Um, Violet asks how

long it will take to be able to sell

everything. And I think that's when they

actually determine the time frame of

like a they're planning for 3 months for

this transition. And she's like, "Well,

I only have my hotel for a week and like

that's eating into my money and into my

savings. Purchasing all these supplies

is eating into my savings. Feeding you

guys buying you guys dinner every night

is eating into my

is eating into my savings." And they're

like, "Well, why aren't you you using

the apartment above the shop?" And she's

like, "There's an apartment above the

shop? What?"

Oh, Violet.

Yeah. She had no idea. So Rock actually

like takes her like like in the back

alley behind the shop there's a ladder

you have to go up and then like the

apartment door is up there

and so he takes her up. It's filthy like

Right.

Uncle Matteo was older and like clearly

hadn't been using the apartment for a

long time. So like very very dusty but

it does exist.

Yeah. Um,

they offer to wash her shirt for her

because it has the sheep's milk all over

it. And Rock gives her his shirt to

change into so that she she can have

something clean. But like he gives her

the shirt. She turns around to face the

other like direction. But like her inner

monologue is like, "Oh my gosh." Like

taking my shirt off in like with him in

the room like he must think I'm such a

[ __ ]

But then she also like she's like, "Oh,

that's not the gremlin. That's my mom."

Oh man.

Yes.

Oh man, Violet. Oh yes. The generational

trauma.

Oh,

it it hurts in a real way.

Um

while they're up there, Rock is like

trying to like warn her off of Cam and

is like

he's flirts with like watch yourself

with him like he like flirts with

everyone and she's like okay.

I knew he thought I was a [ __ ] like

you know like

like a little Yeah. Like

you're like are you also is it because

you guys have that tension because you

were close but not like brothers close

and they're kind of have like she's

having a bit of a moment with Rock like

he's a little softer when they're

talking up like or talking in the

apartment.

Yeah. Um but their moment is interrupted

by Cam um who's like Cheddy's done with

the current step. we need you to come

back. And Rock does invite Violet to

join them and so she's like really

excited to to be a part of it to be a

part of anything. Bless Violet.

I can my heart.

Yes.

Cuz I will say there are books where you

read someone having a a similar struggle

and there's also like a I need you to

like [ __ ] do anything for yourself.

like,

hey, a therapist can't work harder for

you than you're willing to work for

yourself.

You have to show up.

Yes. And I feel like this book is not

that. And while I didn't enjoy

reading her mom's behavior, I also like

didn't feel like

Violet, like get your [ __ ] [ __ ]

together, girl. Like, I felt more like

heartstrings being tugged than feeling

like

go to therapy, [ __ ] Like, it didn't

feel like that. And it we've definitely

read books where it feels like that.

This feels more like we have all the

context for where it came from. And she

is working really hard to do all the

things she needs to do to like

keep everything together to keep her

head above water. It's not a wo is me.

It's this is just the way her brain

works at this point. Like

Yes. That's such a great way to describe

it.

This is her reality.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And so they're like

drinking some wine and filling the

cheese molds. And uh

I think Cam says he's like wine, cheese,

a beautiful woman. Like what more could

a man want? And Shett's like a a sturdy

lance would be nice.

And Violet gets like beat red and

they're like are you feeling like a

little flush? Like what happened? And

she's like, "Wait, do you mean like a a

real Lance?" And like that's that's when

we find out that Cheddy is was a knight.

And he's like, "Yeah, like what else

would I be talking about?

I'm jousting, madam."

That's so good.

A sturdy lance would be nice.

It sure would.

Well, and then they go to offer Bri more

wine and Bri declines. And then Cheddy's

like, he's worried he'll get drunk and

tell you he likes you.

Cheddy.

Poor Bri.

Yeah, poor Bri. And like Cheddy can't

feel the room, but it's always like so

well intended,

right?

that it's also like one of those where

you're like, "Oh, Cheddy reminds you."

It's not that deep where if it's just

fun.

Right. Right.

Follow-up announcement time.

Announcement two, Electric Booaloo.

Friendly reminder that if you have any

interest in life coaching or Smut Club

book club with your fellow smut [ __ ]

follow the link in our Instagram bio or

the show notes.

And so we also learn in this

conversation that Cam was um a highway

man back uh before he was cursed.

Before he was cheese.

Yes. Before he he succumbed

to

which is the first draft of Before He

Cheats.

Before he cheats.

Harry Underwood.

before he was

I dug my knife into the grind.

It sounds very much like Cam was Robin

Hood.

Yeah.

Uh like he's like, "Yeah, we stole from

the rich, but also probably would have

stolen from the poor if they had things

to steal."

He's like, "Please don't get it twisted.

I am not the moral compass you're

looking for. Well, and at at one point

it's like, oh, and did you have like a

band of merry men? And he's like, I

mean, they were all kind of buffoons.

It's not hard math. Knife plus highway

equals easy pickings. Like, just saying

1 plus 1 very much equals two here.

Um, and so yes, we've learned Cheddy was

a knight. We've learned Cam was like

kind of Robin Hood Casanova. Sure.

Um and then Bri was a clerk for a

shipping magnet.

Oh. Um he was supposed to be a Viking

sailor as was his family's uh and what

his size would indicate he should be

doing. But he

really loves reading books and

journaling sort of energy. giving what's

his name from How to Train Your Dragon.

Yeah. Yeah.

Where it's like he was supposed to be

like the Viking chief and then he's like

this weird little dude who likes to read

and hang out.

Just wants to vibe with with the dragon.

Just wants to be in the woods having a

good time.

So do I.

Right.

Maybe we all had something to learn from

him, which we did because if you've

watched the movie, that's the whole

[ __ ] point.

We all did have something we had to

learn from that specific character. Not

going to ruin How to Train Your Dragon,

but also it has been out for a long

time, so I don't feel bad if I

accidentally ruin How to Train Your

Dragon.

I don't think we did.

Can you ruin How to Train Your Dragon?

No. It's a classic. It's really good.

Did you see the live action remake?

It's like shot for shot.

Really?

Yes.

Oh, well maybe I'll check it out then.

Um,

so Violet does ask like, "Oh, so like

what was Rock?" And they're like, "No

one really knows. Rock is like very

private with his history, so they don't

actually know." But they all have they

all ate cursed cheese. They all ate

cheese. They like weren't supposed to

and have

been cheesed ever since. I don't know

what the what the verb is there.

All right.

Yes. Um and also it seems as though

they've always kind of been drawn to

each other like since this curse cuz I

did wonder I'm like so each of you

was kind of cursed in a different

generation,

right? These seem like very vastly

different geographical areas and time

frames.

Yes. You've got like a Nordic Viking

dude who's a the clerk for the shipping

magnet. You've got a like

I'm going to say medieval knight if

you're jousting and such.

Yeah.

I don't know the timeline of when Cam

was a highway man. Sorry.

Um whatever era Robin Hood was.

Sure. that one

that's debated by scholars,

right? So,

so choose your own adventure there.

But Violet's also like, "It's so

convenient that you guys all turned into

the cheeses that you were that your

names are."

Oh, Violet.

Oh, yeah. And the guys like all kind of

get quiet and then just they're like,

"No, we just like don't it's been so

long we don't remember

like our our real names

given names." Yeah. our government name.

Our government names.

Yeah. No, my my government name wasn't

Sir Cheddward.

So, like in the past couple of weeks, my

aunt sent me and my mom and my sister a

text and was like, "Hey, I have a family

friend who just published this

children's book on Amazon. Um, it's

listed for free the next couple days. It

would love if you could download it,

review, like read it, review it,

whatever." And it would be like

Chelsea and Hannah's Christmas Adventure

was like essentially the name of the

book. The author was Aunt Puddin. Aunt

and Uncle Puddin, not with a G on the

end. God's comma. You got a full comma

to the top.

Yep. Got a full apostrophe going.

Yep. Aunt and Uncle Puddin. And so my

mom replies and I don't I did I download

the book. Yes. Can I tell you what the

names were? No. But my mom replied and

for all intents and purposes was like,

"Oh, Chelsea and Hannah, would that make

the author of this book this person?"

Because that's their kids' names.

And

this this group that like runs Yeah.

They've all known each other since way

before I was born, right?

Yeah.

And so my aunt replies and is like,

"Yes, it was written by like an aunt,

like whoever it was, but it was like

definitely like it was written by

Joyce." And I just replied and I go,

"Ah, so Aunt Puddin wasn't her

government name."

And my aunt laughed. My mom didn't reply

at all. And I'm like, "Mom, I am I'm

giving you prime content here,

right? Like you're welcome."

Well, damn.

Okay. So, recently just like the way in

which my like is it just how boomers

text? My dad wanted to know what the

game was called. That's like the Mario

video game board game.

Oh, Mario Party is what he was asking.

Um, but he sends me a text that asks the

name of this game that's on a thread

with me, him, my mom.

Yep.

And two family friends.

Yep.

That no one has text on this thread

since whatever event happened several

years ago.

Yep.

So, I just reply and I'm like, "It's

Mario Party. Hey, Tito and Austin.

Great. Hope you're doing great." like

and they're like love to be a fly on

this wall. So then like the ne I'm like

freaking texting with boomers. And so

the next day

yep as soon as they start with that

group chat that they found from 5 years

ago.

That's like suddenly all they use.

Unless we forget about the time my

father sent a photo of my vibrator

on a text thread with my mother-in-law

on it. Yeah.

Well, and so the ne the very next day

after that happened, I had text my

parents. Um, so we have like a little

scooter that Ford can ride around the

house.

Yeah.

And also has a mop head on it so he can

clean the floors while he does it. And

my parents like, I wonder if they make a

vacuum version. I was like, h, like

wouldn't that be great if he could

vacuum the floors while he did it? Well,

wouldn't you know, your phone is always

listening. I get an ad later that day

for a vacuum scooter that can be ridden

around the house and I send it to my

parents and I was like, "Haha, so

funny." Right after we talked about

that, the last time I text my parents

just to my parents with like not my

husband or anyone else on the thread had

been November 29th, 2024

when I sent them a podcast

recommendation and my mom replies to the

scooter and is like, "Haha, that like so

funny scooter versus whatever." like

replying. Then like 10 minutes later,

she replies again and I was like, "We'll

have to check out that podcast. Thanks

for sending it over." And I literally

went, "I sent it to you November of last

year. It's still worth a listen, but

like god damn it, guys."

Yeah. I was like, "What texting

adventures are you guys choosing? It

shouldn't be this hard.

It shouldn't." No,

but it really is.

Yeah.

Yeah. We have a family group chat that

pretty much just my dad and my

brother-in-law

send memes in multiple times a day and I

had to like

multiple times a day.

Yeah. I had to mute it cuz they just get

going between the two of them and it's

like

that is sweet for them. I love that they

have that.

Yeah. But like I don't need to be a fly

on that wall.

I don't need my phone vibrating off my

desk while I'm trying to work. Like, oh

my god. Like, yeah. You're like, only if

there's an emergency should my phone be

vibrating that often,

right? Like, aside of that, no, I don't

need the the weird Garfeldian

meme

from like 10 years ago. I don't need

that. Thank you for sharing it.

I hope they're just sharing like Charlie

bit my finger

basically.

but sharing it as though it's

Yeah. It's brand new content. Yep.

Incredible. So, they're all having this

conversation. We're learning that no,

they don't they just don't remember what

their names had been. And then Rock

shows up and is like, "It's almost

dawn." Um,

and like they're like having a nice

time, but they're like, "What do you

think of like the samples of like the

new cheese we made?" And like Rock takes

a bite and he's like, "Too salty." and

just moves on and like you can just like

feel everyone deflate and like rock not

necessarily un maybe he does and just

like doesn't care but I'm choosing to

believe that he's just like so focused

that he's just like missing that

it's not landing

we need the sandwich method the good

stuff the constructive stuff more good

stuff

yes and so Cam offers to walk her back

um for the night so she can sleep and so

on the walk He's She's like, "Thanks so

much for walking me." And then he's

like, "Oh." He's like, "Yeah." He's

like, "Truthfully, I thought it was the

apartment upstairs, but I'm happy to

walk you to your motel." And she's like,

"Oh, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I didn't."

And he's like, and he stops her. And I

adore this because he stops her and he's

like, "I don't deserve your your sorrow.

Like, spending the evening with a pretty

lady is no hardship for me."

But then she's like, "You don't have to

lie."

Oh my heart, Violet. And he's like,

"What?" And she's like, "No, like I know

I'm not that girl. Like, I know I'm not

that girl you take home." And I have the

full quote for you.

Oh, Violet, you're more striking than

your namesake. These past few days

without your cheery presence have been a

dark chasm in my life. I do not regret

drenching you in my flirtatious

compliments, and I hate that I cannot

give you enough to make up for the

wounds the world has caused you.

Cam,

and I hate that I can't make up for the

wounds. I can't give you enough

compliments to make up for the wounds

that the world has caused you.

What a sentiment.

Oh, it's so sweet.

That is really nice.

Yes. And then they kiss and then things

kind of start escalating, so they like

rush back to her hotel room. Yeah.

Um and like right as things are really

starting to heat up,

he turns into cheese.

Yep.

Like there's like a close your eyes to

kiss me and she's like waiting and then

she opens her eyes and she's like a damn

it.

And he is cheeks back to KMA bear.

So she puts him in the mini fridge for

the night.

That's really good.

Cuz she's like, and then she's so

nervous the next day cuz she puts it in

her purse to like take him back to the

shop and she's like, "What if I get

mugged and someone takes my cheese?

Not the cheese.

Not the cheese." So that So she she

brings him back and leaves him at the

shop. So he will awake there that

evening

there and be safe. Yes. And so that

from muggers

from muggers.

Well, her mom has convinced her there

are muggers on every corner of the

sirloin district and beyond.

Did I ever tell you about the time that

we got mugged when I was a kid?

No. What?

It's not as traumatic as it sounds. It

was at the time, but it's very funny

now. So, we were going into Michaels.

Okay. In

supply store.

Yes. In downtown Orlando. And I was

maybe I had to have been eight or nine.

And so my little sister was like five or

six.

Yeah.

And I had been going on a field trip

that day. So my mom had her ID and cash

in her pocket because she had been the

chaperon. M

but she had her purse on her shoulder

and she was holding my my sister's hand.

And as we were walking into the

Michaels, this this car drove up, slowed

down, and a guy jumped out and grabbed

my little sister to yank her away from

my mom to get to her purse because my

mom was holding her on the side that she

had her purse.

Okay. Not that I want your mom's purse

being stolen either, but when you

started with yanked your sister, I was

like significantly.

I was like, "Hey, being mugged is

different than your sister almost being

No, no, no, no. He had no interest in my

sister. He was going for the purse.

Holy [ __ ] Hannah. Still not great, but

like, oh my god.

But at that point, my mom then decided

to chase the car down the street

screaming my purse. So, I'm on the

sidewalk with my little sister like

holding her while we're looking around

while people are like yelling and

calling the police. And my mom was fully

like two city blocks. on the road

chasing this car. Also, your mom is a

fast runner in this situation.

She went for it and I was like, uh,

did did she just happen to get their

license plate number in all of those

blocks? Cuz I feel like that might have

been the most effective thing we could

have done.

No. No. So, I didn't make it to my uh

field trip.

But I'll never forget my mother like

doing a battle call of my purse down the

street. My purse. Well, it's like like

that king of the hill. That's my purse.

I don't know you.

Okay, but for how casually you started

that story, straight up when I was doing

so, my undergrad is in elementary

education. When I was doing like my

final semester of like the full student

teaching for the full semester, one of

the teachers at the school, as casually

as you just told that story, she's like,

"Oh, yeah, no, I was kidnapped. They

took me to Puerto Rico."

Like, as a child, she was kidnapped,

held for ransom,

in the way. Yeah. She told it so

casually. And I'm like, I don't like I

remember listening to it and being like,

"Oh, I don't think that's how we're

supposed to tell that story." Like,

well, my only memory of it is my mom.

Oh, no.

Yours makes a lot more sense. Yours has

a funny punchline. Hers literally ended

with, "I was held for ransom, but I'm

here now, so I guess it's fine."

Incredible.

I was held for ransom.

Like, she said it almost in like a way

like, "Wait, you haven't been held for

ransom,

right?" Like, this is a childhood

experience. We all have.

Yeah. You know that that core childhood

memory of being kidnapped? Yeah. Holy

[ __ ]

No, that is

I have a cute kid. I do think they would

return him, but I have a cute ass kid.

And it is a like a different like you

see the world differently when you like

have a small child that you need to make

sure no one snatches.

Of course,

my parts.

I don't know you.

like your mom is two city blocks over

and you're just sitting there and like

some poor person is standing there like

well going to keep an eye on the kids

while I call 911 while that woman runs

after the car,

right?

Like what are you doing?

We never got the purse back.

You think

you didn't get the purse back?

It was also not a priority for the

Orlando Police Department. Believe it or

not, my mom had her ID and all of her

cash in her pocket. So, it was like,

well,

well, cancel your credit cards. Yeah.

And I was going to say it was

if you were eight or nine, it was the

late ' 90s, early 2000s. So, also, it's

not like your mom like had her credit

card loaded to her phone where like you

can just easily purchase things. Like,

yes, you still had to cancel your card,

but it was harder to like

utilize in that regard.

All right.

Sorry.

Got distracted by the mugging.

You know, the mugger that doesn't exist

in this book, but she's just afraid of

the cheese mugger.

That would be my crime,

mugging people for cheese.

And what was stolen?

a 20 year aged cheddar.

It was a 36 pound wheel. Do you know how

much you can sell that for? That would

be very difficult to run away with. It's

36 lb. It wouldn't be that difficult,

but it would be unwieldy in a wheel.

Hannah,

your arms were just like 3 feet apart. I

don't think a 36B wheel of cheese is

three feet wide. Maybe not. I'm

overthinking. Anyway, she successfully

makes it to the shop.

Well, no, now I'm I guess I'm really

thinking about the size of the wheel of

cheese cuz I It's tall as well, right?

So, I assumed it would be like 12 to 16

in in diameter.

We're going to have to give that a

Google cuz I don't know the density of

the various cheeses.

And we will do a corrections corner if

necessary where I where I apologize for

being like, "Sorry guys, I thought a

36lb wheel of cheese was a lot smaller

than it is. Because I have full faith in

you that if it was like only like 16 in

and 36 lb, it'd be clunky. But like,

okay,

you could get away with that.

Yeah,

I couldn't. I'm a slow ass runner. Uh, I

should not mug anyone. I will not get

away on foot fast enough to get away

from any crime.

You have to lengthen your stride.

What? What is that? That's what my

running coach used to say. And I'd be

like, I don't I'm I am 54, dude. My my

stride is only physically so long. Like,

I can't lengthen further.

You're like, at some point, I'm lunging,

and that feels counterproductive,

right? Like,

all right. All that said,

they she didn't get mugged. She made it

back to the shop. Um, Rock then when she

like shows up with dinner that night,

he's like, "Why? Why didn't you why

weren't you in the apartment? Like, why

didn't you sleep there?" And she's like,

quite frankly, because it's very gross

and very dirty, but also she's like,

"Did you go up and check?" And he like

gets a little like sheepish about it

because we're like, "Oh, okay. Rock does

have some some human moments."

Um, and so when she's like, "It's gross.

It needs to be cleaned." Rock is like,

"Hey, Bri, why don't you help Violet

clean the apartment? That way it's

usable again. Um, in the apartment

upstairs, Violet and Bri

just like have a sweet conversation.

They talk about their interest. He

really likes reading. He always wanted

to be a painter. A

right. Um, we learned that Violet was

premed when she was in college. Um, but

she had to drop out her sophomore year

because the more stressful school

became,

Yep. the more intense her OCD symptoms

became. Um, and she was like the rituals

kept growing and would take so long that

like she was like I would spend hours

like locking doors and washing my hands

and like

Yeah. couldn't get to class, couldn't do

my homework.

Exactly. So, ended up uh dropping out

because of that. And then throughout

this whole conversation, Bri like loses

a fight with a bathroom pipe and ends up

drenched in water. And they're getting

closer throughout the convo. As you you

can imagine,

tension is building. Yes. Um they end up

kissing. She asks him if he wants to

paint her. Um and he's like

like one of your French girls.

He no I want to make sweet love to you.

Stop it.

Adorable.

This book was not what I expected when I

heard cheese shifter romance if I'm

being completely honest.

Yeah.

They start going at it.

Great.

It is

a lot of limbs.

limbs.

Like it's

Shouldn't there be four each?

Like he like tries to like put her on

the table and be like sexy and

doineering, but like

it's like she's too far on the edge so

the table kind of slides out from under

her. Then they like hit the ground and

it's just like

Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. She's like I think I trapped his

[ __ ] when we fell but I'm we're still

making out. Like it's just like

that's so real though because that's

what real life is where you're like in

the middle of something and you're like

wait a second my body is not where it

needs to be. Like hold on let's pause.

Yes.

And that's not even like it's not even

going to take you out of the moment

really. It's like that's part of the joy

of communicating with your partner and

like figuring things out.

But for a first time that is

well and he's trying to be really like

doineering.

Maybe not dominant. He's trying to be

very dominant and is like

trying to take control.

And so when they like hit the ground,

she's like, "We no like we can keep

going." And he's just like,

"That's not me. Like I thought you'd

like the bravado. The bravado was for

you, but like that's not who I am." And

she's like,

"No, Bri, like I really like how sweet

you are. Like that's

that's the draw here." Yeah. And so they

they try again and it's far more

hesitant but like very sweet. Um there

are lots of cheese themes exultations

throughout this. Like at one point she's

like, "Oh, sweet cheeses." And at

another point she's like, "Hot queso."

Um what I think is just fondue

or just queso.

Queso is just fondue by another name.

A rose by any other name shall taste as

good, right? Like

Yeah.

Queso fondue.

It just liquid cheese.

It's the same thing. It just depends on

if I'm eating it at a Mexican restaurant

or at the melting pot,

right?

It's still melted cheese regardless.

Yeah, it's still liquid cheese and we're

happy about it. Um, we do also learn

here that when Violet comes, she has

sneezing attacks.

And so she has like a full sneezing fit

during all of this and is like really

embarrassed afterwards. And he's like,

"Watching you sneeze was like somehow

like the hottest and like most adorable

thing I've like ever seen." And she's

like, "Oh, okay.

That's so cute."

She's so embarrassed. But yeah, he

thought it was really adorable. Then in

their uh postquidal bliss, there's a

knock on the door and it's Cam like

being like, "Hey, like Rock was

requesting you come back down so we can

all

Yeah.

talk. And then like opens the door and

he's like, "Well, well, well,

well, hello.

This is a surprise."

He goes, "Bre a bit of a dark horse,

though. It's nice to learn that you're

not unplowed soil as I had feared."

And Violet's like, "I've been with men

before, two of them." And Cam's like at

the same time.

And Violet's like, "Uh, no, not that,

but

at different times."

Yes. But Violet's also like nervous that

Cam will be upset,

right? Cuz they were kind of getting it

the night before.

Yes. And he like is very quick to

clarify. He's like not upset at all.

Like we share everything.

Yeah. Jokes on you. I'm into that [ __ ]

No need to be concerned here. When they

get back down in the cheese shop, um Cam

immediately tells Shetty, he's like,

"Bri got there first. Got there before

all of us. Wasn't on my bingo card."

Like that sort of energy that my words,

not his. And Rock is like, "Will you

guys get serious?" And like gives them

another list of supplies and is like,

"We need to move on."

But yeah, I thought it like the whole

like they come immediately down and

Cam's like, "You'll never guess what I

just walked in on."

Right.

Bri beat us all there.

Guess what you guys? Bri get it,

right? Good for him. Like, so proud of

this guy.

Um, so now it's I don't know, maybe the

next night, maybe the night after. Who

can say? I can't. Um, not Bri. Violet

checks her phone and she's had several

missed calls from her mom. Her mom at

this point

is just like, "You need to come home."

And it's like booked her a return flight

every day.

Oh my god. Yeah. You're like, "What?

This like doesn't even make sense." Um

the realtor shows up to talk about the

open house, but it's like right around

sunset and she's like, "Well, like we

have I want to like sell off the rest of

the product and the cheese, so I like

need 3 months." And the realtor is like,

"What the hell?" Like that's not what we

talked about.

And like I do, he does seem smarty. And

I do also get where if you've been

setting up a open house for a property

that's supposed to fetch 5 to 10 mil.

Yeah. and they're suddenly like actually

for scrap that I would also have some

questions.

Um but he's like pretty like what do you

mean know like we like need to move

forward like this is what you and I have

agreed on this that and the other.

More pushy.

Yes. Pretty pushy about it. And the sun

has set as this conversation's

happening. So suddenly all of the guys

are there

and Josh is like why are you naked?

because they don't pop into human form

with their clothes still on. They got to

they got to put them back on once they

shift.

Um, and they're like, "The real question

is, why aren't you naked? It's freeing.

Try it sometime.

What a pivot. That's really good." Um,

Rock and the realtor kind of like end up

in a standoff because

like Rock's like she said like she's not

selling for 3 months and he like and the

realtor is like you don't speak for her

and Rock's like neither do you and this

is what like she said like get out of

the shop now. Um, when the realtor

leaves though, Rock is big mad and like

accuses Violet of lying to them and he's

like, "I thought we had this deal. Like

we were like we had 3 months and like

you you were going to sell the shop out

from like underneath us and like not in

like hold up your end of the bargain.

Slow your roll, Rock."

Yes. And Violet's like, "So, a lot's

been going on. You guys are cheese, lest

we forget, right?" Like, a lot's been

going on. I forgot to call the realtor.

My bad. I'm sorry. Yeah. And like Rock

is just like an ass about it and not

having it. Like to the point where the

rest of the guys are like, "It was an

honest mistake, Rock. Like, lay off.

Like, let it go. Fine."

And he just like stomps back to the

seller.

So, it's really sweet. When Violet

brought dinner for the guys that night,

she also bought Brie painting supplies.

A.

And so he's so touched and so excited

and is like wanting to like break out

the paints immediately. And so rocks in

the basement or seller. Bri decides he's

going to like start with his paints. And

then Cam and Shetty decide to take the

night off and they're going to go on an

adventure with Violet.

They end up finding like a street fair

block party sort of situation happening.

Okay. Um, Cheddy immediately just jumps

into the the dance circle and is like,

"Ooh, this looks fun. Teach me." Like

has no concerns of like looking foolish,

just there for a good time, not for a

long time. So, a few weeks ago, several

friends, we were getting together and we

realized we needed to eat something cuz

a bunch of us were hanging out. And so

we had shared with a a newer person into

our circle that one particular friend,

Lisa,

yeah,

she

has no social anxiety at all. And so

what does that freedom feel like? It's

[ __ ] bizarre cuz we'll be out at a

bar or we'll be out at a restaurant or

whatever and she will just strike up a

conversation with someone and before we

leave she will know all of their

children's names and where they grew up

and like have plans to meet up with them

in the future. And it's like what the

[ __ ] is happening right now, right?

So,

we order Chinese. Lisa and I go to pick

it up and we are sitting there and

it's a Saturday night in our very small

town. And it turns out everyone ordered

Chinese that night. So, normally it

takes 15 minutes.

We were there for a very long time, like

45 minutes or an hour. And when we got

back, one of our friends was like, "Oh,

we thought like Lisa held you hostage

while she made new friends."

I was like, "No." But that's the Cheddy

vibes I'm getting is like my friend who

just

she'll hear somebody say something and

be like, "Oh my gosh, me too." And just

like she knows everybody. It's it's for

me with a person with social anxiety

bizarre. Well, the funny thing is I have

I definitely have very real social

anxiety and I do also do that some like

like Vance Vance called me out not like

called me out on it but just like noted

it one time he's like yeah he's like

Chelsea we were at Home Depot yesterday

the woman next to us was looking at

several blue colors you ended up in a

conversation with her about all of the

different shades of blue like that were

the and like making a quippy comment and

suddenly you guys are talking about it

and I'm like

I guess that does happen but And for me,

that's where it ends. Like we have the

quicky

quicky. No, quirky. Quippy.

Quippy was what I was going for. Not

quickie. We do not have a quickie. We

got to have a lot more questions about

that.

Different vibes. Like I feel like it's

just like a quick quippy interaction.

And then we both go back to what we were

doing versus like the

Cuz my dad is similar to Lisa. When we

were still living in Nashville, he and I

walked into Lowe's one day and the

manager waved at my dad and said, "Hey,

Ralph."

What? Why do you know the manager at the

Lowe's? Oh, great guy. Just moved here.

He had been at another shop, but this is

actually a promotion for him. Really

excited. Still finding his way around

the city.

What?

Yep.

I just needed a sophet. Like, how did we

get here? The rest of us are literally

like cringing and like clenching up and

she's like gathering people's social

security numbers because people just

tell her things and like it's like what

the [ __ ] is happening? Like

what is going on? But she's always

dragging me to [ __ ] and like you know

she'll find a belly dancing class in the

middle of nowhere, North Georgia. I was

going to say, you don't live next to

many places that I would say are known

for belly dancing,

but it's there. She found a pickle ball

league that she joined and is trying to

convince everybody to join. I'm I am

remaining firm that that's not for me.

Um, but that's just what she does. But

that's Chetty vibes of just like showing

up and having a good time.

Yeah. And here's the thing, as an

introvert, we all need that extrovert.

We all need that like person cuz I'm

like if you're not dragging me there I

won't be there.

And if you get me there I will have a

great time but like I'm not going to

just end up there. No by happen stance.

No.

No. Not at all.

So they're at this block party. Cheddy

starts like in the dance circle and is

having a blast. Cam ends up joining the

they like give him a guitar. He's

playing with the band suddenly

and it's like

like a minstrel

that's from that era, right?

It's from one of their eras, which one I

don't feel as confident in if I'm being

completely honest, but one of their

eras.

Sure.

Yes.

Then suddenly the police are there and

it's like being broken up and then

everyone's like scatter and I'm like

what? A block party? Why are we

scattering from a block party? But I

digress.

They didn't have the proper permits,

Chelsea.

Honestly, probably.

Yeah,

cuz they like a street fair block party.

I'm like that

you got tents set up that feels like

more. I don't know.

Right. But yeah, so like one guy's like

holding open a broken chain link fence.

Like everyone can run through it and

Cheddy and Violet get separated from

Cam, but they're like, "We'll meet up.

It'll be fine." And so Cheddy ends up

leading her to a park, which I think is

more like muscle memory. And he's like,

"Oh my gosh, I remember this place." But

then like

at some point Rock's like, "Yeah, that

park is like Cheddy's favorite place in

the city." I'm like, "Oh yeah, he just

like naturally found his way back

there."

Back there. Yeah. Um, they end up

swimming in like the fountain. Like he

like splashes her with the fountain and

then they're like playing in the

fountain water and just like having fun.

Sure.

And then Cam finds them there because he

also knows it's Cheddy's favorite place.

And then things start escalating.

This is my my breakdown. Cheddy is

fingering her. Cam pulls down her

panties. Climb aboard the cheese train

is said. Choo choo. These are my actual

notes.

Yes. Climb aboard the cheese train. Choo

choo.

Choo choo.

I dislike I don't dislike it. It really

makes me laugh.

So there is a weird techno metal band

from Germany called Electric Callboy

that has a song called Techno Train.

It is hilarious like but that's what

they do is very funny light-hearted

mostly kind of music and at one point

the guy who does all of the growling

like metal type vocals just repeats choo

choo over and over and over again and

then we're riding on the techno train in

this very deep like very intense growl

and so that's all I can think is like

Choo choo. Like incredible.

We're riding on the techno train.

Yeah.

Yeah. Um

Yeah.

That is a bit of this choo choo energy.

Um

like there's a lot of moving pieces in

this where at one point like I like

would go back and reread it cuz I'm like

I I missed a line. Yep, I did miss a

line on how this is all happening. Like

she ends up riding Chetty. Cam is

playing with her boobs. Cheddy suddenly

like I won't last much longer.

So then he's like, Cam, you got to take

her. So he has Violet get off.

Then I think was Violet riding Cam. And

then Cam is jerking Chetty. Cool. Good.

Then suddenly Cheddy is back inside of

her and he's jerking Cam. Great.

She has a sneezing fit

cuz she's having a very good time.

Yes. Um

then Cam comes inside of her then

Cheddy's eating her out.

Like there's just so many I'm like

it's a very intense scene when I'm like

in a park.

I was like did everybody get an orgasm?

I honestly I think so. Aren't the cops

about and aren't we like in a park?

We are in a public park. Like this is

happening on the bench by the fountain

in the park.

Sure. Yeah.

But I guess also it's probably

it could be like 2:00 in the morning at

this point.

Sure.

For all we know.

Clearly this is not a park in any of the

cities I've lived in because there are

still people a foot doing nefarious

things.

You've never lived in the sirloin

district.

That's true. The sirloin district of a

place.

Of a place. Yeah.

Mhm. There are honestly so many moving

parts in this scene that it was hard to

keep it.

Yeah, cuz I'm like, wait, you were just

inside her. Why is he jerking you off?

Why didn't you just Wait, so he's going

to finish inside her? Then you're going

to eat her out after, but then who's

jerking who at this point? Like,

where are the penises? Logistically,

I did get a little lost.

Um they get back to the cheese shop and

now remember right like they left that

night. Rock was really mad about the

realtor situation. So like Violet's

really worried that like she's going to

get there and Rock's going to yell at

her.

Um

and when they get back, Bri has been

painting and has some uh landscapes done

that are that are really lovely.

A

um and he's really proud and excited of

his art. And so, but when they get

there, Rock also like looks at Violet

and he's like, "We need to we need to

talk." And she's like, "I love that."

Um, for someone with anxiety, that's the

worst thing you can say.

Oh, yeah. I literally, my boss once like

came over to my desk and was like, "Hey,

can you come with me to my office for a

minute?"

Fired. I'm getting fired.

So, like there were two separate times

cuz she like she'd be like, "Hey, close

the door."

Fired. One time she was like, "Hey,

yesterday during like the supervisor's

meeting, it just seemed like you were

maybe a little amped and I wanted to

check and make sure everything was

okay."

And I was sitting there being like I

literally thought I was I was like about

to get reprimanded for something. Then

the next time she was like, "Close the

door." And I was like, "Oh, fuck." And

then she's like, "Okay, so Pablo's

birthday is this week. What surprise

party are we going to throw for him?"

And I was like, "You [ __ ] I

I thought I was getting fired.

So, it did happen to me once that when I

was working at a place, the entire team

I was on got fired in a single day

except for me, right?

What?

So, I was waiting for the call for me to

also be fired, right? Cuz I'm like,

"Okay, so I'm next." Yeah.

Yeah. You're like, "Writing's on the

wall here." So, I get a call from not

from HR, from the program director. And

I was like, "That's weird." But he said,

"Hey, come down to my office." And I was

like, "All right, so this is it."

Yeah,

cool. I'm like breathing through it. I'm

like, "I'm going to be okay. Everything,

you know, I'm coaching myself through

it." I get there and he's like, "I know

today was really hard. I know you were

close with some of your teammates and so

I just wanted to check in with you and

make sure that you're okay." And I was

like, "Chuck, you son of a bitch." Like,

"Oh, so I'm not fired." He was like, "Of

course not. Why would you think that?"

And I was like,

"Why?" Great question.

I'd love to tell you. Here's all of the

things that have happened today that led

me to believe I was next on the chopping

block.

I just got watched my co-workers get

frog marched out of the building. Like,

what do you mean?

What do you mean? Why would I think

that? Oh my god. Oh my god. Why would

you think you were fired?

Right. What? Cuz the odds weren't in my

favor, bro. Right. I honestly at this

point kind of like, take me with you

because it's just me now to cover this

entire workload.

You're like, it probably would have been

a grace to have been fired. Yeah, but I

guess I'll do the job of 10 people

instead.

Sure, it's fine.

I feel great about it, Chuck. Thanks for

asking.

So, Rock says that they need to talk.

Sure.

But then immediately apologizes to her

and he's like, "I want to apologize. I

know I've been like really sharp with

you and I like

that I I'll I will be better about that

moving forward." Um, and he asks why

she's helping them. And he's like, "Is

it because of one of the guys? Like what

what's your motivator for like doing

this?" and she's like

it was like it's not the guys but she's

just kind of processing through and

she's like it's my mom and he doesn't

actually ask for more detail. He's just

immediately like family can make us

take the most foolish action like say no

more. I get having a family motivator.

Um which I think for her is more of

being able to get away from her mom is

like that that motivator there. like

well because all of that money would

mean independence,

you know, like Yeah.

And that's one of the very first things

mentioned in the book is she's like, I

need to sell this place so that I can

get money so I can get my own apartment

and like

be my own person at this point.

How old is she? You might have mentioned

that

she's 25.

Okay.

Yes.

Okay.

So,

he then I don't know. They figure out

their plan. It's the next day. She has

officially opened the shop, but it's

just her running the shop. Um Cam, I

think had had a really great idea of

like doing little like taster shakurerie

boards. So like for $25 you get like a

tasting board.

I'm like, "Yeah, I'd go to shop for a

$25 tasting board." Absolutely. Um it

was very successful, but now like

everything is a wreck and very messy and

she's so exhausted. And so when it's now

sundown,

yeah, it's now dusk and the sun has gone

down and and the guys appear and she

like apologize. She's like, "I'm so

sorry. Like been so busy today. Like I

didn't get a chance to like get you guys

dinner or me dinner." Like they're like,

"Hey, we got this." So they make fondue.

Yeah, they do.

They make fondue.

Hot queso. Hot queso.

Well, and it has like cheddar and chemar

and bree in it. But then when she's

like, "Oh, like no, no, Rockef." And

Cam's like, "That bitter goat would

spoil the taste." And just like you like

feel the tension like m like you're

like, "Whoa." Like

shots fired.

Yes.

Yeah.

Ragavore is a very strong cheese in

fairness.

Yeah. He's not wrong. But also the way

in which he said it

wasn't about the cheese, was it?

No. So this feels like it's not about

the cheese.

This feels like it's not about the

Rockefford ruining the fondue.

Um, while they're eating, Violet's mom

calls and Cam answers the phone and is

like,

"Violet's phone sort of energy." And her

mom is like

wants her back from the filthy city.

Sure. And it's like at one point she's

like, "Who's the best mother in the

world?"

Like it is so gross. That's very like

weird mommy dearest.

Yes.

No wire hangers vibe.

Yep. 1,000%.

Um and then also at this juncture rock

agrees to teach Violet to like actually

like how to make the cheese. Um instead

of just like kind of pouring the molds,

but at first she's kind of like I'd like

love to learn. And he's like well that

like won't work. But it's like he's

thinking of it from like a logistical

standpoint like with the shop being open

and in her head she's like,

"Oh, of course it won't work." And like

that like I shouldn't have asked.

Too dumb and like it's too much for him

to do and it's asking too much.

Yes. And he's just like that won't work.

And so as her like inner monologue is

really starting to take off, he's like

we'll have to wait till Sunday. And

she's like,

"Okay." Like is so so excited. Um and so

it's now Sunday evening. She's been like

anxiously awaiting her cheese making

lessons and is like very excited about

this. She made the guys an eggplant

lasagna.

Oo,

it's just sweet.

I love an eggplant lasagna.

Yes. And I'm sure Bri does as well as as

the vegetarian that she always takes his

dietary needs into consideration.

Um, but as she's like walking up to the

shop with the lasagna in hand, she

crosses paths with Alva, who owns the

soap shop across the street, and she's

like, "Oh, like did you buy the the

shop? I see that it's open again. Like,

it's nice to see foot traffic." Um, but

then like also mentions like the rumors

about the cheese shop and she's like,

"Yeah, like I mean, you know, it's just

old lore, but like rumor has it Matteo

used to be seen late at night with four

men sometimes naked like

and Violet's like like getting like

feeling tense.

You guys [ __ ] my uncle."

I don't think that was her thought. No,

I will say I guess at one point she

might she might actually ask if they had

all been with her uncle, but I think

it's more of like the

it's dawning on her that like oh people

are like can see through the windows,

right?

And like

whoops.

Oh, maybe

maybe I should be mindful of like what

all is happening on the main floor when

the guys are at like more of that

energy. M

um

and when so when she gets to the shop

that night um with the lasagna in hand,

Bri has painted her and like did an

actual little portrait of her and she's

like it's me but with like all of the

beauty filters. Like it's like there's

no gremlins and there's no acne and

there's no res. Like it's like all of

like

it's like the best version of me that I

could like never attain sort of sort of

energy. Um

and like once again the intrusive

thoughts are like he's just being nice

that he drew you this way. like they

just need you. They don't want you,

honey.

Yeah. But also like once again, I really

like how you worded it earlier of just

being like, "Oh, no." Like this is her.

This is not a woe is me.

This is just like, "Oh, reality." Yeah.

She's like, "No, this is how people view

me." And like

it makes me sad, but I also

I get it.

I I get it.

Mhm.

So that night, the cheese lessons cheese

making lessons begin. Um, Rock asks if

she has like old clothes to change into,

and she's like, "No, like I have a

suitcase of like seven days of clothing.

I This wasn't I wasn't planning on

staying." Um, and so he tells her to

like strip off her shirt so it doesn't

get dirty. Um, and so she's just like in

her undies and a apron. And the guys are

V into it. This this is working for all

of them that she's in at her cheesem

lessons in just her bra and panties and

an apron.

But Rock takes these lessons as

seriously as you could imagine.

Yeah, that sounds right.

Rock takes them.

Yeah.

And he's like, "Okay, now we have to

wait for like the cultures to like

acidify." Then he's like, "Don't jostle

it. Jostling it can ruin the like just

like that kind."

Okay. Yes. Right. Okay. Yeah. So then at

like they get through that step.

Cheddy's then working on like the next

batch and Violet joins him. Um he asks

her in this conversation. He actually

brings up that he's like noticed how she

locks up the shop and he's like hey you

he's like so you get the voices and

she's like what what are what are you

talking about? out and he's like, "No,

like I had a night friend who was sim

like he had to like pray in all four

directions

um and ended up joining a church and

he's like and I think that worked out

really well for him." Oh

my heart.

Yes. Um and so like it's definitely

acknowledged and they they talk to her

about it. Um, but the conversation gets

interrupted because it's now the next

step of the cheese making lesson that

Rock is taking.

Rock's like, "Great heart to heart,

everybody.

Time to do whatever you do for cheese.

Strain it, mold it, mark it with a B." I

don't know. I don't know.

I like your patty cake rendition.

I don't know.

Um, so they finish the next step, but

then they're like, what do we do for the

next hour while we wait?

Make sweet, sweet loving. You get it.

Um, it's a group scene. We start with

Bri boning her, and she starts sucking

Cheddy's finger while Bri is boning her.

Okay, she's trying to get the condom on

Cheddy. It's orange,

which is actually an orange flavor

condom, but she sees that it's orange as

she's like trying to put it on him. And

just like her in her monologue, it's

like a cheddar condom for a cheddar man.

Okay.

She ends up sucking Cheddy off.

Great.

Okay. This this part though, so I'm like

I see the vision. She's bent over.

Bria's

behind her.

Behind her. He needs my breast while

tipping back on his heels. It lifts me

higher and higher until my arms leave

the table. Breeze got me by my legs and

Chedd suspending me by my tits. I'm

being spit roasted by cheese.

Also, suspending someone in the air by

their tit is wild.

So, I have friends who do

suspension.

Suspension, right? Where like you pierce

your skin and you are suspended, right?

Mhm.

It's very intense. I actually have

friends who

got married that way. Like they did

their vows that way. Um

Wow.

Very into the lifestyle. Good for them.

Is not for me.

That's no shade. But I'm also like, "Oh,

yeah. You are very committed to the

lifestyle if that is part of your

wedding."

Yeah. Not for me. Um, but love it for

them. And I'm imagining like, "No,

sorry. I just grabbed my boobs."

You did grab your boobs. I like I like

that you're protecting your boobs from

me as I'm saying a cheddar condom for a

cheddar man.

I just I have a lot of boob and I that

frightens me.

Yeah. I'm also

I don't know if that would be better or

worse. Being suspended while getting

Eiffel Tower is like

I reread that she was being suspended by

her tits at least four times. She be

like, "No, I got that right and I'm

putting the full quote in my outline."

Yeah. And thank you for it.

You're welcome.

What a journey. While she didn't black

out at the beginning of the book when

she ran into the ladder, she does black

out from the pleasure.

Okay. Um,

so she didn't have to sneeze.

Yeah, not this time. This is apparently

it goes sneezing

real good

blacking out.

So then Cheddy is taking her from

behind.

Okay.

Once again, logistically, there are

always so many moving pieces in these

chairs.

Yes. And so Rock then like sits down in

a chair in front of her and her hands

are on his thighs and like he like moves

her hand up so it's cupping his junk.

Cheddy releases his hold on her at some

point so she falls face first into

Rock's lap.

Okay.

But I'm like, you're still thrusting

into her and you just let her fall like

that, bro? What?

This feels intentional on Cheddy's part.

Now Cam is eating her out.

Okay. and she sneezes again

onto Rock's lap.

I don't know. Logistically, there was so

much happening cuz then like after this

Rock suddenly like pushes Cam against

the wall and like has his hand at like

on his throat

and then next thing you know like Rock

is jacking Cam off and then Cam comes

all over Rock's hand. Rock seems to come

in his pants. My notes literally say

it's heated, intense, and hot and weird.

Is that not just sex in general?

You know,

touche.

Yeah. You're like, is that not just the

summary of the experience of sex? Well,

that's on uh Bob's Burgers. The kids

find amberree on the uh beach one day,

which is a weird waxy substance from

whales that is very expensive and

it's used for perfume and food and

stuff. And the kids keep sniffing it and

they go, "Gross, great, gross, great."

And Jean goes, "Is that what sex is?"

It also kind of feels like the This

smells so bad, you've got to sniff it.

Yeah. Same vibes.

Yes. Um, so like they're all like

watching this like tense scene between

Cam and Rock.

Mhm.

Afterwards, like Rock storms out.

Sure.

And Violet's like, "Does this happen

often?" And Cam's like, "Not as often as

I'd like. I have to needle him for

months to get a reaction from him. Um,

and then the guys say that they'll clean

so she can rest. And when she goes to

like sneak back out, Rock once again is

like,

"We should talk."

Yeah. I'm a little I'm like, "Rock, come

on.

It doesn't have to be this traumatic."

Yeah.

Also, you don't need to say we should

talk every time you want to talk to her.

I'm just saying,

right? They have a heartto-heart. He

clarifies that like he doesn't hate her,

but I think he's been waiting on her to

betray them. Uh because we find out that

Matteo had told him like, "Hey, I have

um a guest coming to stay with me for a

couple months that like can't can't know

about you guys."

Yes. Um and so the guys had agreed to

stay in this for 3 months

while like for the summer while Violet

was with Matteo. Yeah. Um, so like for

them the last they like conversation

they had they talked to Matteo about

like hey like this is the plan. We're

going to stay cheese for 3 months and

then the next time they are aware of

time or space like the world goes black

and then the next time they open their

eyes Violet's standing there in a dusty

ass shop.

Wow.

And so they're like what the [ __ ]

happened? Like

right what did Matteo do?

Yes. Because also

we've been cheese for 20 years that like

Matteo like Yes.

Um

but also Violet realizing as you did

that she's like oh it's when I when I

came to visit for the first time.

They've been in their cheese form ever

since.

Um he apologizes for being standoffish

and then he walks her back to the

apartment. Um, and he invites her to

help with like the cutting and pressing

and molding of the cheese the next day.

Um, which she's once again excited

about, but then she sees her phone

ringing. It's her mom again, and she's

like immediately kind of deflated.

Yeah.

So, it's now a month and a half later.

Whoa. Yes. Um, they've they've all

developed a really good rhythm.

uh they all like have date night on

Monday nights and so like they'll like

go to like the late showing at the movie

theater and like things like that and

it's it's just

sweet rhythms that they've gotten into.

Um

they're planning on like renting a big

hotel room that has a bed large enough

for all of them and a hot tub and

yeah,

so things are just kind of progressing

well and she's living in this bliss

while also kind of being like this only

exists for 90 days,

right?

Like because in 3 months like that's the

end of this deal and this agreement. Um,

and so as she's like about to book the

hotel, her mom is calling her and she

like declines the call cuz she's about

to hit book on the hotel. Then there's a

banging on the front door of the shop.

No,

mom is there.

No.

Yes. Um, mom is a [ __ ] downer. This

is like when I said I had a visceral

reaction to mom. Like this is the the

part where that was happening. Mhm. Like

her mom like asks who the guys are and

she's like, "These two are janitors.

These two are delivery guys." But then

the the like her mom is like

telling the janitors what like you

missed a spot. Like how are you so

incompetent?

And like when she's like, "What? You

like her mom's like, "You think you're

making cheese? You don't know the first

thing about cheese making. You're

probably poisoning people with your

incompetence."

Lovely.

Yes.

Like I hope you weren't delusional

enough to believe you could do this by

yourself.

Like just Yeah. I'm like what? No

dude.

Show me how you love your daughter in

any way.

Yeah. Yeah.

Nope. That doesn't count.

Yeah.

You telling her she's incompetent

doesn't count as you loving her. That's

not keeping her safe. That's not caring.

No. It's also not expressing concern,

right?

Yes. cuz I could see how this would be

motivated by concern, but saying I'm

worried that maybe you don't know all

the ins and outs and you know

food is really sensitive and can make

people sick. Like can you talk me

through like how you're doing this,

right?

Yeah. What's your plan to like

like cheese making is a complicated

process that

Yeah.

I a month and a half ago you didn't know

like what how are Yes. there there are

so many ways to ask questions

around this versus how this is

communicated.

Um 100%. And like the guys like even

like try to like lightly come to

Violet's defense a little bit and her

mom is immediately like get back to work

or you're fired.

I don't work for you. You're not my

supervisor.

Well, and then mom is like now that I'm

here the place should run more

efficiently. we can sell off all of this

cheese in the in the next two weeks and

like get back to our lives and be done

with this

now that I'm here meaning I'm here.

Yes.

For the long haul.

And Violet's like, "Wait, so you're

staying it? Way to catch that." Yep.

She's like, "Fuck." And so the mom's

like, "I'm staying at like the hotel.

You're staying there with me."

And Violet's just like, "Yes, mom." And

like it's just like going along with it.

Right. Right. Right. Right.

Um, and like on their walk, like at some

point like Violet like said something

about like, "Does it bother you that

like I was alone with four men?" And her

mom's like, "Men like that don't have

any interest in a chubby mouse like

you." Oh

yeah. Like at one point it's also

mentioned like Violet had like dyed the

tips of her hair pink and her mom calls

her a sugary [ __ ] You're like, "What

do these things even mean?" Like, and

once again, I get the point that that

Ellen Mint is making here. And I also

like we could have rained mom's vitriol

in by like

25%

and it still communicated it.

Yes. And I still would have fully

understood everything you were trying to

communicate.

The nausea that's currently bubbling

with it. Yeah.

Yes. Like I like had to like put the

chapter down a couple of times. I was

like, "Oh, this like

this really hurts to read." Like

Yeah. And I'm so bummed for anyone who

has this lived experience

because as Cam said, like I we I can't

give you enough compliments to like

right

erase the wounds the world has given

you,

right?

But like you're not no one deserves to

be spoken to like this.

No. No.

Yeah. Like it it really hurt.

So, for the next, I don't know, week

probably, um, Violet doesn't see the

guys cuz she's at the shop when her mom

is there. And so, she's like kind of

just like sneaking notes and and leaving

them at night. Um, her mom is also a

horrible saleserson like

is like tells Violet like the cheese

tasting is a waste of your time. Like,

why are you doing this? And like one

person is like go like tried the cheese

and like is like throwing away their

toothpick and mom's like either buy

something or get out of the shop. What

are you doing here?

Like what? Like it doesn't even make

sense.

Yeah.

Um

she just seems hateful and angry and

bitter and miserable.

Yes. Um mom then is like looking on the

back wall and sees where the portrait of

Violet is hanging up

and is like, "This is a terrible

likeness of you. It belongs in the

dumpster." And just literally takes it

off the wall and throws it in the

garbage.

Like the [ __ ] Like that's where I'm

like, "Hey, like this is so over the

top."

Yeah. Um

like we get it and it didn't have to be

quite that bad.

Yes. Cuz like also like the shop like is

supposed to close at 6:00 and it's 4:15

and mom's like, "I guess we should

finish. Like we're done for the day."

And I'm like, "Yeah, maybe you're done

because you kicked out all of your

patrons for telling them they weren't

buying things fast enough." And then

when like uh not Charlotte, Violet goes

to lock the door, her mom's like, "Are

you finished locking up or are you being

weird again? Like why couldn't I have a

normal child?" Oh

yeah. Like insane.

That's like the movie The Baba Duke,

which I am certain you didn't watch.

Oh, I have.

Oh, did you?

I have watched the look floored by that.

It's like, why can't you be normal? And

the kid is like screaming in the back of

the car.

I had an exboyfriend who he's like, "No,

you'll like this one."

You won't.

You know me better than he did. Note,

he's not my husband. Plot twist.

Cuz I watched that and I was like, "What

about this movie? Were you like this

feels like Chelsea's energy?"

Yeah. Not me literally saying earlier

like, "I wanted to tell you to watch the

new Frankenstein because the

cinematography is so cool and like the

use of color is amazing." And then I was

like, "Chelsea will hate it."

I love Young Frankenstein.

Different movie,

different vibes. Yeah.

Ovaltine.

Nothing.

Thank you.

Yeah,

that is a classic in our in my house.

Del Toro is not uh young Frankenstein

vibes unfortunately. Although again, the

new Frankenstein movie is fantastic.

Um but anyway,

so it's now 2:00 a.m.

Um because they went back to the hotel

room. Violet waited until her until her

mom fell asleep and then she went back

to the shop to get the portrait out of

the dumpster.

And so as she's like reaching and like

trying to get it in the dumpster. Yeah.

She's literally dumpster diving at her

own shop. But like as she's dumpster

diving,

uh like Cheddy hears it and comes out

and like grabs her to like help her be a

like but like sees what's in her hand

and he's like, "How'd that end up out

here?" She's like, "Oh, I think it was

thrown away accidentally."

And he's like, "Thank goodness you found

it." Cuz like Bri would be so sad if

that went missing and she's like, "Yeah,

definitely." And then like when Bri sees

it, she's like, "No, I just like I like

took it back with me, but like cuz I

wanted to see it." Like just

very awkward.

Yes.

Yeah.

Um but is also like where are like Cam

and uh Rock? And they're like, "Oh, well

they aren't they aren't the cleaners.

They aren't the janitors. So they're

down in the basement." So it's like they

they can't be seen. Um, and so he takes

her inside to like let Rock and and Cam

know that they're there. And they start

overhearing this conversation where Rock

is like, "I just need a few more weeks

and it'll work." And Cam is like,

"You've been claiming this for like

hundreds of years now

to break the curse."

Yeah. And and Rock is like, "We'll be

able to see the sun again. Like, don't

you want to see the sun again?" And like

Cheddy starts like tensing up because

he's like, "What the hell are they

talking about?"

Uh, and Cam is like, you you're just

doing this to like assuage your guilt

essentially. And then Bri and Shetty are

both kind of like, what what's there to

feel guilty about?

Guilty about um is he like King George

III or something ridiculous?

No. What we find out is that Rock

inadvertently was the one who brought

forth the the first cheese curse.

Oh,

yes.

Okay. Okay. Um, he had been trying to

craft the perfect cheese. There was like

a festival in town like for like the

king. He was like trying to get the

perfect cheese and he made like a deal

with a shadow man or something like that

that he was like quite frankly I was so

fixated on this cheese and so out of it

that like I thought it was a fever

dream.

Um, but the deal was he would be able to

make the perfect cheese but he could

never taste it. Oh,

but he like didn't reme like he was like

I thought it was a dream and so he ate

the perfect cheese that he made and like

that's what like brought forth the

cheese curse.

Okay. Okay.

Um the guys are big mad about this

because it's been hundreds of years.

I was going to say that's a long time to

keep a secret.

Yep. And they've never known all of

this. Like they take off and are big

mad. Rock is like starting to like throw

cheese around the vault and like

punching walls and is just like having a

full temper tantrum.

Sorry, that was a hiccup.

Uh, and like shouting that like he did

it for them and

like takes up like takes off up the

ladder and like runs out of the shop as

well. So like then Violet's just like in

the cellar alone being like I ruin

everything.

Oh, Violet. and like go and like cleans

up all of the spilled milk that had like

a mess had been made. And then when she

goes to leave, Rock is like not like

like outside the shop and he is several

bottles of wine in.

Sure.

And singing old songs and just

wallowing. Um we we finally get his

history. He was a shepherd.

Oh. Who became so fixated on cheese.

He's like, "My sheep's hair was like

growing in their eyes." And like I like

wasn't trimming it back cuz I was too

focused on the cheese and like this that

and the other.

I was not shearing my sheep.

Yep.

And so he like tells her the full like

this is how the curse came about, the

shadowman deal, this that and the other.

Um and then she tells him like she's

like well we all have our things. She's

like I have like this gremlin inside me.

like tells him like about her intrusive

thoughts and that that like she's a

coward and a failure and that like no

one can love her. And Rock's like,

"I love you."

Well, he's like, "All of the guys love

you." And she's like, "They can't love

me. I'm I'm broken." And he like, she

says, "I have invasive thoughts. I do

stupid things I know uh I do stupid

things I know are stupid just to appease

them for a few hours after she'd said

she was broken." And he like denied it.

And she's like, "No, like I know I am.

Like I do these things all the time."

Right. Right.

And he goes, "Dented." Then

a little bruise in the clay that tells

the hand this mug was made with passion

and love.

Once again, I don't know what I thought

I was getting with a cheese shifter

romance.

It's so heartwarming. This just happened

to us recently with Pounded by Produce,

too, where I was like, and then I was

like, oh, is this healing healing trauma

right now? You're like, I feel like my

religious trauma is healed with Pounded

My Produce,

right? I'm like, oh, look at that. Oh,

self-esteem healed by cheese shifters.

So, Rock asks her to help him like get

the guys back and so that they they can

clear the air. And so they start by

going to the park, but the guys are not

all not all there. Um, which they're

like, "Oh, they're not here." Then

suddenly like Cam pops up and you're

like, "So Cam is there. Whatever." Um,

and so then we learn like how Cam and

um, Rock met was that Cam's merry band

of thieves found out he turned into

cheese by day. So he like had to flee at

some point.

And then also at one point they're like,

"Yes." And then I was being chased by

all of like the jealous townsmen or

something. And Rock's like, "All of the

jealous husbands cuz you were sleeping

with all of their wives." Yeah. Like

that's why you got chased out of town,

bro. So like Cam went to like hide in a

cave, but it's the cave that Rock was

living in.

Sure. And so he like held him at knife

like Rock held Cam at knife point, but

then by day they both turned to cheese.

Then by night they both turned back to

men. But like that night like Cam got

the knife first. So for like a week

straight they're just in like a knife

standoff

turning into cheese.

Okay.

But that like it also seems like through

this retelling like they're like

laughing a little bit like

it's healing to 100%. And so that's when

Cam also mentions that like the guys are

like across the street at the bar, which

is like a full club.

Yeah.

Um and so things look like they're

getting a little spicy between Cam and

Rock. So Violet's like, "I'm going to

go."

Yeah. Feels like a pilot moment. You

guys take this moment. I'm going to go

find the guys. So she goes once again.

Cheddy's like dancing his heart out.

Uh, if I'm remembering correctly, Bri is

at the bar drinking every single

cocktail that they have on the menu,

just trying. And she's like, "Don't do

that. You'll get alcohol poisoning." And

they're like, "No, like bars always

water down drinks." And she was like,

"No, not modern ones." And she looks

around and she's like, "This bar looks

like young college kids."

Yeah,

maybe they do. Fine. Drink away. I did

try I went to a show recently and they

had like a specialty cocktail or

whatever that was a rum and coke and

amordo and lime.

Huh.

And I was like, I'll try that. And the

bartender was like, that's [ __ ]

weird, right? Cuz it was like the the

band that came in. It was like they made

it up for them, right? And I was like,

sure, I'll like a rock bottom. Sure,

whatever.

And so I tried it. And he goes, "How is

it?" And I said, "I wouldn't order it

again, but I will drink it." And he

went, "Noted. And thank you so future

patrons when they ask." I was like,

"Yeah, it's gross."

There was a restaurant back in St. Pete

that on their like dessert menu, they

had like a Guinness

cream float.

And I was like, "Oh, like is this good?

Is this worth ordering?" And she's like,

"I think people think it's it's going to

be different than it is." She's like,

"It's literally exactly what you think

it is. It is Guinness and ice cream."

She's like, "So, choose your own

adventure." But like, she's like, "No,

when they're combined, they don't

suddenly make a different flavor

palette."

Yeah.

I was like,

"Yeah,

all I need to know. Thank you so much."

When I worked in a tequila bar, they had

a specialty like prick prickly pear

margarita.

Yeah.

It was disgusting.

Oh, that's a bummer. I've had really

good pear margaritas.

Prickly pear. So gross. And so people

would ask and I would be like, if you

have had it before and you liked it,

strongly recommend.

If not, I would not because people would

send it back. Like it was really gross.

Dang.

I was like, can I interest you in a

Texas margarita with a Grand Marier

floater? That might be more up your

alley.

Yeah. You're like, I can recommend

several other things for you that will

give you a better experience. 100%.

So she finds him in the bar. Bree's

drinking all of these drinks. They're

like she's like, "Come back." Like, "No,

like he really cares." And they're like,

"If he really cared, he would have like

told us the truth."

And then Rock is suddenly there. He's

like, "You're right. Like I like I

should have told you sooner." But also

Violet's kind of first thought is

they got here quick. Was really trying

to give him a moment.

Like Okay.

So soon, huh? So, like they're all

having this like heartto-heart very

necessary debrief in the Yeah, in the

club in the bar. Um, but it's also like

it's beyond last call. It's now like

lights are turning on. It's time to go

home. Like not like dawn, but just like

and they all turn to cheese.

And they all turn to cheese.

But like they're all trying to like have

this heartto-heart and a bouncer's

coming up to like tell them they need to

leave. And Cam tries to say like, "Hey

man, like just give us a moment." and

the bouncer just like punches him in the

stomach.

So then it turns into this giant brawl

between the four of them and bouncers.

Then like end of scene, next scene

they're all walking back to the cheese

shop and just like debriefing how it

went. Like at one point Chetty jumped on

a bouncer's back to like get him off of

someone. Bri tried to throw a punch but

ended up punching Rock instead but like

hurt his hand in the process. Classic

Bri.

Um, when they get back to the shop, I

think Cam goes to open another bottle of

wine and Bri just like starts puking cuz

he had too many drinks.

She ends up like Violet ends up like

kissing Bree's knuckles

and then Rock ends up kissing her and

like telling her that she's a miracle

and is like then asks like, "Who wants

next?" Like that's where the scene ends.

Okay.

Yes.

So Violet

next chapter starts wakes up to someone

like shaking her telling her to wake up

and it's her mom and she fell asleep on

the shop floor and is just like

surrounded by cheese four cheeses and

men's clothing. And her mom is like are

those men's shirts? Is that cheese? Did

you sneak out in the middle of the night

to dress cheese up? Like,

do you have cheese friends?

Like,

yes, I do, Mom.

Which, like, for all of her mom's

horrific behavior, I do think that's a

legitimate question.

Yeah, I like that a lot.

Did you sneak out to dress up cheese in

the middle of the night? Like, what's

happening?

Um, mom is now like, "We're going home.

We're leaving this godforsaken city

behind." Like, it's just once again so

over the top. Um, and Violet boils over

and she's like, "This place isn't a hell

hole. It's a lovely [ __ ] cheese

shop." Like, and you'll respect it. And

her mom's like, "What's gotten into

you?" And in her head, Violet's like,

"Four tick. That's not the answer to

this question."

So much cheese is what has gotten into

me.

So much cheese.

So much cheese

in more ways than you would would

consider. Right.

Um, and Violet's like, "Nothing's gotten

into me." And her mom's like, "Don't

piss on my cupcake and tell me it's

frosting." And Violet's like, "That

saying doesn't even make sense.

Frosting's not a liquid."

Yeah.

Like in that way where like it's like

one of her mom's go-to sayings that

she's just been biting her tongue for

years and she's like,

"You're saying is illogical." Although

one time when I worked uh crisis and did

like emergency psychiatric services,

there was a dude that I went to the

hospital to do an assessment. He was

definitely malingering. Um, for those of

you that don't readily use the word

malingering in this context, he uh was

looking for a place to stay cuz he

didn't have a better option of where he

wanted to go and he was maybe um

exaggerating

exaggerating. Yes. Embellishing some of

his symptoms to get what he wanted in

this situation.

And I go to talk to the doctor and also

like this is like not the bougie

commercial insurance hospital. This is

like the local

state general hospital and it's just

this old school doctor. I'm like, "What

do you think?" He goes, "I think my leg

is wet."

And I go, "Yeah." He goes, "Yeah, I

think he's pissing on my leg and telling

me it's raining."

He goes, "I feel good discharging them."

I bet he would tell me I had the vapors.

He would tell you you had the vapors

beyond a shadow of a doubt. You got the

vapors. I'm going to discharge you.

You'll be fine.

So all of this like Violet realizes it's

escalating but like tries to take a deep

breath and she's like, "Hey mom, like

you've been working so hard helping me

at the shop the past couple of days. Why

don't you just go back to the hotel?

Take a day off.

Take take a day off, rest

all clean." Um,

and so her mom like calls her a spoiled

child, but ultimately leaves.

Yeah.

And like through this whole

conversation, Violet's terrified for her

cheeses, so she's like holding them to

her chest, which I'm like, I get your

mom's concern in this moment if I'm if

I'm being honest. Like, did you sneak

out to dress cheese up

and now you're you're clutching it like

it's an infant or something? What are

you doing?

Well, and her mom is also like, "This is

just the brain rot. Like, we'll get you

help when we get back." You're like,

"The fuck?"

Yeah. So

Violet stays to clean like kind of gets

everything back to rights, puts the guys

back in the cellar like next to the box

that they'd all initially kind of been

in.

Um, and like but has to carry them one

at a time because to your point earlier,

they're not small. I don't I don't know

if it's a 3ft wide wheel, but like

they're not small and it's pretty

clunky. Um, and so after she does all

this, she goes upstairs to the apartment

to just like take a nap.

Yeah. So she wakes up from the nap being

like, "That was exactly what I needed.

That was the right call." She and then

she gets down the ladder and sees like

construction dudes like throwing [ __ ] in

the dumpster.

She's like, "What is happening?" And and

she looks down and her mom is like at

the end of the al at the end of the

alley with Alva, the soap show the soap

shop

soap shop owner. um who's like I'm so

like your daughter's fallen into these

like so sorry your daughter's fallen

into this debauchery like that sort of

like conversation

right

and her mom's like well my daughter's a

magnet for temptation and sin like

you're like the [ __ ] and they're like

clearing things out like the garbage

guys are like hey like these paintings

look kind of nice are you sure you want

to like throw these away like breeze

paintings and her mom's like either give

me $10 a painting or throw them in the

garbage.

Yes. Like

absolutely banana pants this entire

time.

Um Violet loses it and tells everyone to

stop and she's like looking at her mom

and she's like, "You have no right." And

her mom's like, "I have every right. I'm

your mother." She's like, "No, this is

my store, not yours." Like legally like,

and she goes off on her mom, like

talking about like the doctor, like her

mom's like, "Well, look, like you're

having an episode right now." And she's

like, "No, the do you know why I'm

having an episode? The doctor straight

up told you why I have an episode. It's

because of you."

And her mom's like, "No, he was just

saying that to like turn you against

me." And Violet's like, "I was on

medication that helped me and you took

me off of it. Like

you you want to control me and you want

a baby doll more than you want a

daughter and I'm a [ __ ] human, man.

But like this like isn't

Damn.

Yeah. Like everyone has stopped to just

like watch this fight at this point.

It's very Jerry Spring.

The garbage men, construction workers,

whatever you want to call them, are like

confused, like do what do we

Yeah.

And like Violet's like, "Put everything

back in my shop." And they're like,

"Well, it's all in the dumpster." She's

like,

"Then get it out."

Yes.

Yeah. Absolutely. She's like, "This is

my shop. Put everything back or I will

sue you." When she goes into the shop

though, there are like more workers

there who are eating the cheese.

And she's like, "What the fuck?" And

they're like, "Well, she said we could

have it." And she's like, "You can't

have it." But she's like, "Oh my god, oh

my god. Oh my god. That's the guys.

That's That's the guys. Like this one's

down to the rind. That one just has a

nibble off of it. Like Oh my god. Oh my

god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Like

Oh [ __ ] Yes. And she's like where did

you find this? And they're like down in

the creepy cellar. She's like what? Like

how did you get to the cellar?

Right. Why were you even in there?

And so like they're like oh like we've

like we couldn't get the vats out. So

like they also like they got into like

the back vault as well.

And so she waits until sunset and like

has all of them like laid out and they

don't

they don't shift.

Oh no.

I know when I tell you this book was

more than I anticipated.

I know. I'm like way more emotionally

invested than I thought I was going to.

And so like but like her like gremlin is

being like you killed them. Like this is

all on you. Yeah. Um, and so she just

like at night after night she's like

waiting for them to like keeps keeps

waiting but like at this point like

they're all starting to mold and so she

like throws out like the rest of the

cheese in the shop but like is like

keeping them in like plastic bags to

like try and keep what she has of them.

It's so heartbreaking.

Oh my god.

Yeah. I was like her daily vigil with

this like molded cheese. That's like the

classic denial stage of grief, right?

Yes.

It was like,

you know,

and so she does realize, she's like,

"Okay, all of the like

the rest of the cheese in the shop has

gone bad. This is molded as like

everything." She's like, "I I can't do

this without them. I like I know what

was real."

Yeah.

But like I

I I have to move on at this point. I I

can't do this. And so her plan is then

to like take the money from selling

the property and like return each of

them to their like ancestral home.

Oh my god.

She said I'm going to do a world tour to

take everybody home.

Yes.

Oh my god, my heart. And so like at this

point the shop is now like cleared out

cleared out of like equipment

refrigerated kit like everything is gone

because it's ready to sell and the open

house is planned for the next day. And

so realtor Josh is like okay

everything's like gone. He's like but

there was like it kind of looked like an

heirloom or something in the seller. It

was heavy. We like couldn't move it. So

like if you want your heirloom take it.

And she's like oh okay what? Like I

missed it. And it was the old box. And

when she opens it, she's like, "Oh,

there's like extra cheese in here that

they must have missed." So, she like

opens the box and like takes the cheeses

out.

Um, and then starts like go up the

ladder again to like do whatever she

needs to do. Then she hears voices and

like it's like, "I could piss for days

and like why is it so dark down here?"

And then like suddenly the voices are

like, "What the hell happened?" Like,

and so it's all four guys and they're

like, but like they're all like, "Did we

lose another 20 years?" Like, "Oh no,

what's happened?"

So, like it's a they're obviously

they're all okay. They're reunited. She

tells them what happened and like she

like she like I thought this was you and

like it's like holding her bag of moldy

cheese that she was like that she was

saying that

she's been protecting.

Yes. That she's been diligently

protecting. Um and they explain that

like in the box it's essentially like

cryogenics. like they can just like so

like that's where they'd been for the 20

years

when they they'd initially been been

gone. Um how they got back in the box I

think were like the universe was looking

out for them and that's left a little

bit as a mystery because she didn't put

them in the box. She put them next to

the box

when she went to sleep. So

we'll leave that plot hole as is.

We'll give that to Ellen.

Yes, we'll give that to Ellen Mint. And

so the shop once again very empty. And

they're like, "Well, like what do we do

for our next steps?" Cuz you also have

to remember that for her it's been

several weeks. But for the guys, they

were just all having this giant fight,

right?

And then it's the next day for them. So

like it's like 5 minutes later for their

purposes. So Bree's like, "Why would I

stay?" Like after like I'm still like

mad at Rock. Um, and then Violet's like,

"You stay like because you're family and

we like you love each other and like

this, that, and the other." And it turns

into like general declarations of love

and a big heart to heart for them all.

And she decides not to sell and that

they're going to like reopen the shop.

Ruin Josh's day.

Oh, yeah. I'm like, Josh, poor Josh. I

do. He might have called her Veronica,

but when you have

Is that really a crime?

You keep getting your chain yanked with

this $5 billion deal being ripped back

from you. I get your frustration.

So, now we're at the epilog. It's 2

years later.

Okay.

Yes. Um, they've rebuilt the shop. They

now do like evening and night hours. So,

I think they have someone who like runs

the shop from like 12:00 to 5:00. And

then, uh, in the evening, so it started

with like they're like, well, everything

was out was gone from the shop. They

like didn't have money. So they started

with just like small like custom cheese

tasting boxes and then they were over

able to over time rebuild the shop. Um

and so now it's been like fully

remodeled and there's a book club going

that like Cam is leading that's like

bodice rippers.

Hell yeah.

And he's helping the next generation

figure out like how to talk to women.

And he's like okay so how do you start

the conversation? And the guy was like

you up. And he's like no. He's like,

"You don't just send a photo of your

Johnson. You ask and if she would like

one like Mrs. Cam giving feedback." Um,

Bri is teaching painting lessons in his

little section of the shop. Cheddy

became obsessed with making like the

world's hottest cheese. So that he has

like he hosts

hot cheese eating competitions that like

go up in Scoville.

That feels good for for Cheddy,

right? That feels exactly like Cheddar.

Yes. And then uh Rock has won a couple

of awards for his cheese making at this

point. And so all of like the

homesteaders and cottage corers come for

paid lessons to learn how to make cheese

there. And so like they all just are

living this happy life. And then there's

like another long gratuitous sex scene

that I was like, "Yeah, I get it." And

it's at the end of the epilogue.

Sure.

Sex, man. She She probably sneezes

again. Um I

love that for them.

What a delightful journey.

It is far more than we anticipated.

Yes.

So fun though.

Yes. I'm like, "Oh." Oh, and at one

point in the epilogue, like she sees her

mom is calling her and she's like, "And

I don't have to answer. Like, she

doesn't have a right to all of my time,

and I'm allowed to hold boundaries that

I've been working on with my therapist."

Yeah, you are, Violet.

Like, hell yeah, Violet.

Yes.

Good for you, babe.

It's so sweet and wholesome.

So nice.

I know. Yeah. So, thanks for going on.

Oh, and they renamed the shop Why Not

Cheese?

Why Not Cheese? I like that I have to

say it multiple ways with a question

mark.

Why Not cheese?

Why Not cheese?

Oh, so lovely.

Um,

shocking.

Yeah,

and I enjoyed it.

Yes,

I might have to check out more of Ellen

Mint.

Yeah, there are more. I haven't read

more, but there are more. And I might

need to as well.

Yeah. So, what is our rating scale?

Cheese wheels, fondue pots.

We could go with fondue pots. Or are we

going with 36 lb cheese wheels?

How many pounds of cheese?

How many pounds out of a 36B cheese

wheel? How many pounds do you give this

book?

Um,

30.

Wow.

It's okay. I get it.

Yeah. like for all of the

smut that we like

there were so many layers. This was so

much more wholesome than I expected.

Um cuz also like what I likely didn't

capture is that

like Cheddy speaks like a knight. Like

Cam speak like the way in which they

speak is very true to the era that

they're from which is very endearing as

well. Um, and I know we said it before,

I like Well, there were parts with like

mental illness that were like really

difficult to listen to. Oh, cuz even

like when everyone was watching Violet

and her mom have that fight, her mom's

like, "Don't listen to her. She's

mentally ill."

Jesus Christ.

Yes. Like my jaw was on the floor.

And once again, I was like, I get the

point you're making. I could have had it

rained in a little. Um, but no, like it

was a delight.

Yeah. Also

lovely.

Do you remember Monty Python?

Of course.

Yeah, of course you do. Um, they had an

old skit called The Cheese Shop.

I don't recall that one.

The only reason I recall it is because

my father memorized the entire script.

And on like our morning ride to school,

he would do the entire cheese shop skit.

Wow.

Both parts for us.

Wow.

Yes. Um, and so it was fun. Like all of

the different like chapter titles being

a different cheese pun. Like yeah,

thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm gonna give it

30 out of 36 lb.

Hell yeah.

Of a 36 lb 20 year aged cheddar wheel.

And I love it.

I don't think I worded that properly, so

don't come at me. Cheese mongers.

I don't know that that's our target

demographic. I would I would be curious

to know how many cheese mongers are

listening.

Listen, this episode might might give us

some crossover. Hey. Hey. All right. Let

us know how many pounds of cheese you

would rate this. Don't forget to like,

subscribe, let us uh what you Why are

words so hard today? Let us know what

you'd like us to review next. We are

always looking for new recommendations.

Um cuz you're like may maybe you're here

for cheese shifters. Maybe you're like I

would like something else. If you want

something else, tell us what you want.

We'll try. If you want more of this,

share your Rex

either way. Yeah.

Yeah. We're here for a good time and for

a long time. Hell yeah.

Hey. All right. See you next time, smut

[ __ ] Bye, smart puppies.

Well, that's it for this week, smut

[ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz

it sure was great for us. If you're

digging what we're doing, it would mean

a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and

review the show wherever you're

listening right now. Maybe tell that

sexy someone to lend us an ear. We love

you. We appreciate you and we'll see you

next week. Stay spotty.